Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 10, Episode 10 - Musya Shakhtyorov in: Honeyboogers - full transcript
The Squatch Squad emerges from hiding to protect their forest home. The Wuzzles meet The Fly and things get a little bit crazy. The RC writers show us Bill & Ted's last and greatest ...
It's alive!
Uh-oh, where's my phone?
Oh!
No!
♪ What's up, blackness,
my old pal? ♪
Oh.
Oh, no!
♪ They emerged from the trees
to save our planet ♪
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
♪ With feet like concrete
and fists like granite ♪
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
♪ Cryptozoology in your face ♪
♪ Hairy heroes that hail from
inter-dimensional space ♪
♪ Bigfoot ♪
♪ Space squatch ♪
♪ Skunk ape stomp ♪
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
Skunk ape, space squatch, look!
They're bulldozing sequoias
to make room
for a bulldozer factory!
These guys stink!
Time to zap some dweebizoids!
We're gonna need backup
for this.
Batsquatch!
Sheepsquatch!
Baaa!
And blurry foot...
the Bigfoot of photographs.
Ready!
Squatches, stomp!
Oh!
Get it off!
Get it off!
No.
Don't disturb the forest!
Oh!
Dying!
Dying...
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
Indiana Jones, are you here
to take me on an adventure?
Yes, Marion, an adventure.
Whoo-hoo!
Is this where
the ark of the covenant is?
That's right, Marion.
Don't look,
no matter what happens.
My sweet Westley, you've
returned to me and our love.
Through my years as
the dread pirate Roberts,
all I could think
of was this moment.
You must have suffered greatly.
Well...
Take no prisoners!
Slaughter them all!
I'll take all the whores
in Freeport!
Sire, the finest iocane powder.
Yeah, bitch!
I'm the motherfucking
dread pirate Roberts!
Aagh!
No biggie.
It was mostly sailing, fishing.
But you were the most
feared pirate on the open sea.
Perhaps now is a good time
to mention I have syphilis.
Hey, three, do you think
masturbation is gay?
What?
Well, you're stroking
your penis,
but it's your penis, so, no.
But, like, we're clones, right?
Like, your penis
is my penis, eh?
Are you wondering if it's gay
to have sex with your own clone?
'Cause if it's between
two consenting adults, it's...
who cares?
Cool.
So, uh, hey, you want to watch
"Xanadu" tonight?
I love "Xanadu"!
Oh!
Damn!
So close.
Hey, I've got a question for ya.
Yes! Yes!
The matrix is a simulation built
to change a human being's brain
into a computer
that generates this.
No!
Impossible!
Bitcoin isn't real.
What is real, Neo?
Is the dollar real?
Is a mint condition black lotus
Magic: The gathering card
real?
Yes, but why would
the machines want Bitcoin?
Because it goes up in value.
So?
So then you have more Bitcoin.
Is this why you freed me, to
save mankind from this bullshit?
No, Neo.
You're here to lend me $5,000
so I can buy a Bitcoin.
Happy birthday, Eleroo!
Hello, advanced beings!
I am Dr. Seth Brundle,
half man, half fly.
That makes you a wuzzle, too!
Join us for a party, won't you?
I have recently discovered
a fascinating new way to eat!
Observe!
Aagh!
Oops.
Sorry.
Agh, my bumble paw!
Bumblelion!
Well, waste not, want not.
Hey, get off of him!
You... aagh!
It's too much hurting!
Is that half shotgun,
half another shotgun?
That's stupid.
It's just a whole shotgun.
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
Would you like some honey
with your tea?
Please.
Huh!
Ah.
Thank you.
And for you, miss?
I'm good.
So in conclusion, if the
volcano's eruption will kill
the dinosaurs, we should let it.
Thank you.
The committee will now hear
from a dissenting expert.
Excuse me, kind sir,
but I believe that
this is my assigned seat.
The name
is Louis Goobberson III.
My pals call me gooey Louie.
I... I'm sorry, I'm a little bit
of a germophobe, so...
Totally understand.
Hey, do you mind if I partake
of some delectable
powdered doughnuts?
They're extra powdery.
Achoo!
Achoo!
You have to let me change seats.
Excuse me, miss,
while I have you,
do you perchance
have one single-ply napkin?
50 bucks for a dayquil?
Ooh.
I have always desired
to watch Pixar's "Up."
This should be
light fare indeed!
Oh shit!
Miscarriage and death...
what pain life holds.
What unique sorrow.
Such sorrow!
Get a neti pot, you selfish ass!
Hey, slow down!
There's enough mucous
for everybody!
Aah!
You just murdered
a federal judge!
It's a mad house!
Everything is snot!
Oh!
The allies have taken Berlin!
And why?
Because you all failed to do
what I asked of you!
Johann Schmidt, have you found
the tesseract in Norway?
Mein Fuhrer, none of the
occult items you ask for exist.
A better use of my mein troops
would be...
enough! Frau Haupstein,
have you
opened the gates to hell?
I was not able to summon
the demonic Hellboy
with the help of Rasputin.
But I have been working
on a military strategy.
Unacceptable!
Herr Toht, have you recovered
the artifact from Egypt?
Um, uh, yes.
I have found the lost
Ark of the covenant.
Wunderbar!
Where is it?
It is...
Uh, here.
I have kept the 10 commandments
in this briefcase.
Finally, the key
to winning the war!
Americanas, I bet you
did not expect...
keep mein eyes closed,
keep mein eyes closed... this!
The power of god
is mine to command.
Your faces melting,
I wish I could see!
And your face, too!
The ghosts are so scary.
Let's see where this goes.
♪ Melty, melty, melty! ♪
So cool.
Aliens sent you plans
for a spaceship in your dreams.
We could be explorers.
Holy crap, that's a...
a... what do you call it?
An electromagnetic bubble
capable of moving
at near limitless
distances and speeds.
Yes! Wow!
That is quite the racket.
Maybe we should check on them.
No, let them
explore their bodies.
Oh.
No!
Oh, a PEZ.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Krypton is doomed, my son.
But on Earth,
you shall be like a god.
Oh, boy!
First day on the Earth job.
Fu...
...nny coincidence.
What to do, what to do.
Oh, no!
Brainiac!
I was your only friend.
What to do, what to do.
The sun is almost up, Elisa.
Leave me and go.
I'm not going anywhere.
When you turn to stone,
I'll watch over you.
You don't understand.
Goliath?
And the romance is gone.
That's impressive, though.
Mr. Pol pot,
gnarly soldier dude,
I am Bill S. Preston,
esquire.
And I am Ted "Theodore" Logan.
And we are here to...
bill and Ted, wait!
We've come to warn you,
do not ask Mr. Pot...
oh, no.
We're too late.
Oh, dude!
Déjà vu!
Mr. Pot, may I suggest
that your soldiers to not...
non-heinous.
This is most uncool, dude.
Stop!
Oh, no!
I'm shot.
Except reveal!
Radical!
Bogus.
Dude!
Oh, no, bro!
Damn, we totally mistimed
that one.
- Whoa!
- Bogus!
Coming soon,
"Bill and Ted: Part 3."
Stoopid monkey.
Uh-oh, where's my phone?
Oh!
No!
♪ What's up, blackness,
my old pal? ♪
Oh.
Oh, no!
♪ They emerged from the trees
to save our planet ♪
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
♪ With feet like concrete
and fists like granite ♪
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
♪ Cryptozoology in your face ♪
♪ Hairy heroes that hail from
inter-dimensional space ♪
♪ Bigfoot ♪
♪ Space squatch ♪
♪ Skunk ape stomp ♪
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
Skunk ape, space squatch, look!
They're bulldozing sequoias
to make room
for a bulldozer factory!
These guys stink!
Time to zap some dweebizoids!
We're gonna need backup
for this.
Batsquatch!
Sheepsquatch!
Baaa!
And blurry foot...
the Bigfoot of photographs.
Ready!
Squatches, stomp!
Oh!
Get it off!
Get it off!
No.
Don't disturb the forest!
Oh!
Dying!
Dying...
♪ Squatch squad! ♪
Indiana Jones, are you here
to take me on an adventure?
Yes, Marion, an adventure.
Whoo-hoo!
Is this where
the ark of the covenant is?
That's right, Marion.
Don't look,
no matter what happens.
My sweet Westley, you've
returned to me and our love.
Through my years as
the dread pirate Roberts,
all I could think
of was this moment.
You must have suffered greatly.
Well...
Take no prisoners!
Slaughter them all!
I'll take all the whores
in Freeport!
Sire, the finest iocane powder.
Yeah, bitch!
I'm the motherfucking
dread pirate Roberts!
Aagh!
No biggie.
It was mostly sailing, fishing.
But you were the most
feared pirate on the open sea.
Perhaps now is a good time
to mention I have syphilis.
Hey, three, do you think
masturbation is gay?
What?
Well, you're stroking
your penis,
but it's your penis, so, no.
But, like, we're clones, right?
Like, your penis
is my penis, eh?
Are you wondering if it's gay
to have sex with your own clone?
'Cause if it's between
two consenting adults, it's...
who cares?
Cool.
So, uh, hey, you want to watch
"Xanadu" tonight?
I love "Xanadu"!
Oh!
Damn!
So close.
Hey, I've got a question for ya.
Yes! Yes!
The matrix is a simulation built
to change a human being's brain
into a computer
that generates this.
No!
Impossible!
Bitcoin isn't real.
What is real, Neo?
Is the dollar real?
Is a mint condition black lotus
Magic: The gathering card
real?
Yes, but why would
the machines want Bitcoin?
Because it goes up in value.
So?
So then you have more Bitcoin.
Is this why you freed me, to
save mankind from this bullshit?
No, Neo.
You're here to lend me $5,000
so I can buy a Bitcoin.
Happy birthday, Eleroo!
Hello, advanced beings!
I am Dr. Seth Brundle,
half man, half fly.
That makes you a wuzzle, too!
Join us for a party, won't you?
I have recently discovered
a fascinating new way to eat!
Observe!
Aagh!
Oops.
Sorry.
Agh, my bumble paw!
Bumblelion!
Well, waste not, want not.
Hey, get off of him!
You... aagh!
It's too much hurting!
Is that half shotgun,
half another shotgun?
That's stupid.
It's just a whole shotgun.
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
Would you like some honey
with your tea?
Please.
Huh!
Ah.
Thank you.
And for you, miss?
I'm good.
So in conclusion, if the
volcano's eruption will kill
the dinosaurs, we should let it.
Thank you.
The committee will now hear
from a dissenting expert.
Excuse me, kind sir,
but I believe that
this is my assigned seat.
The name
is Louis Goobberson III.
My pals call me gooey Louie.
I... I'm sorry, I'm a little bit
of a germophobe, so...
Totally understand.
Hey, do you mind if I partake
of some delectable
powdered doughnuts?
They're extra powdery.
Achoo!
Achoo!
You have to let me change seats.
Excuse me, miss,
while I have you,
do you perchance
have one single-ply napkin?
50 bucks for a dayquil?
Ooh.
I have always desired
to watch Pixar's "Up."
This should be
light fare indeed!
Oh shit!
Miscarriage and death...
what pain life holds.
What unique sorrow.
Such sorrow!
Get a neti pot, you selfish ass!
Hey, slow down!
There's enough mucous
for everybody!
Aah!
You just murdered
a federal judge!
It's a mad house!
Everything is snot!
Oh!
The allies have taken Berlin!
And why?
Because you all failed to do
what I asked of you!
Johann Schmidt, have you found
the tesseract in Norway?
Mein Fuhrer, none of the
occult items you ask for exist.
A better use of my mein troops
would be...
enough! Frau Haupstein,
have you
opened the gates to hell?
I was not able to summon
the demonic Hellboy
with the help of Rasputin.
But I have been working
on a military strategy.
Unacceptable!
Herr Toht, have you recovered
the artifact from Egypt?
Um, uh, yes.
I have found the lost
Ark of the covenant.
Wunderbar!
Where is it?
It is...
Uh, here.
I have kept the 10 commandments
in this briefcase.
Finally, the key
to winning the war!
Americanas, I bet you
did not expect...
keep mein eyes closed,
keep mein eyes closed... this!
The power of god
is mine to command.
Your faces melting,
I wish I could see!
And your face, too!
The ghosts are so scary.
Let's see where this goes.
♪ Melty, melty, melty! ♪
So cool.
Aliens sent you plans
for a spaceship in your dreams.
We could be explorers.
Holy crap, that's a...
a... what do you call it?
An electromagnetic bubble
capable of moving
at near limitless
distances and speeds.
Yes! Wow!
That is quite the racket.
Maybe we should check on them.
No, let them
explore their bodies.
Oh.
No!
Oh, a PEZ.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Krypton is doomed, my son.
But on Earth,
you shall be like a god.
Oh, boy!
First day on the Earth job.
Fu...
...nny coincidence.
What to do, what to do.
Oh, no!
Brainiac!
I was your only friend.
What to do, what to do.
The sun is almost up, Elisa.
Leave me and go.
I'm not going anywhere.
When you turn to stone,
I'll watch over you.
You don't understand.
Goliath?
And the romance is gone.
That's impressive, though.
Mr. Pol pot,
gnarly soldier dude,
I am Bill S. Preston,
esquire.
And I am Ted "Theodore" Logan.
And we are here to...
bill and Ted, wait!
We've come to warn you,
do not ask Mr. Pot...
oh, no.
We're too late.
Oh, dude!
Déjà vu!
Mr. Pot, may I suggest
that your soldiers to not...
non-heinous.
This is most uncool, dude.
Stop!
Oh, no!
I'm shot.
Except reveal!
Radical!
Bogus.
Dude!
Oh, no, bro!
Damn, we totally mistimed
that one.
- Whoa!
- Bogus!
Coming soon,
"Bill and Ted: Part 3."
Stoopid monkey.