Rizzoli & Isles (2010–2016): Season 3, Episode 13 - Virtual Love - full transcript

What are you doing back?
We can't go over this again.

Go home. Get some sleep.

It is so weird watching
your mother try to rebound.

Well, taking care of her
appearance is a good sign, actually.

She's flirting with
everything that moves.

Did she tell you why
Cavanaugh broke it off?

- No.
- I wish she'd talk about it.

Do you know the average woman ingests

7 pounds of lipstick over a lifetime?

Why do you insist on telling me
your disgusting fun facts over food?

It's coffee.



- Hiya, doll!
- Hi!

Hallo Detective.

Of all the knuckleheads
she's gonna flirt with ...

she has to flirt with
Lightning McQueen?

I thought his name was Detective Gibson.

I believe he's part of
the auto-theft task force.

That explains why he's so arrogant.

Watch this. Watch.

If you were a car,
you'd be a '68 Dodge Charger ...

sleek styling, great street performance.

Hey, Detective. I was, uh,
I was just telling your mother

about this, uh, '68 Dodge
Charger we recovered.

Really?

I thought you were about to
compliment her on her trunk space.



Jane!

Good morning, Lieutenant.

What's good about it?

So... Rich, I guess
you'll have your usual.

Angela, how can you know me so well?

Now she's trying to
make Cavanaugh jealous?

Jealousy can sometimes be
a sign of love or commitment.

It can also be a sign
that Lightning McQueen

is about to get his ass kicked.

- So, I'll be seeing you, beautiful.
- Okay. Bye, Rich.

- I will call you.
- Okay.

Hey, Mrs. Rizzoli, if
you're not too busy,

can I get some coffee over here?

Right away, Lieutenant.

- I can't watch any more.
- We have to do something.

What?
Hide all the plastic knives?

Vanilla.

Just who I was looking for.

- I thought you wanted some coffee.
- Uh, never mind.

Hello, Mr. Rondo.
Who do we have here?

Reuben, Dania, Trevor.

It's Dawg.

Oh. How do you do, Dawg?

Rondo, aren't we
a little old for playdates?

These are all my homies
from "off the street."

- Oh. The home for teenagers?
- I volunteer there.

- We're "Rondo's rejects."
- Mm-hmm.

Um...

Perhaps you'd consider
a less pejorative name.

Juveniles often identify with
the labels society gives them.

Oh, society didn't name them.
They named their own selves.

Hmm.

Um, a reject is a person or thing
dismissed as failing to meet standards ...

Maura.

"Pejorative" is a word that
expresses contempt or disapproval.

Brought 'em by to meet my heroes...
a little impromptu "career day."

Wow. So you guys want to be cops?

No. No way.

They just need a little mentoring.

Maybe you could...
take 'em around a little?

I-I could be a mentor, too.
Does anybody like cooking?

Cooking!

- Or science?
- Science!

Okay, Ma, why don't you
give them a doughnut,

and we'll let you be on your way?

Fine by me.

Right? I ain't being
mentored by no chick, anyway.

You know, now that I think about it,
we love to mentor here.

And we can find a boy Detective,
if that's what you'd prefer.

Detective Frost could be your mentor.

And Sergeant Korsak
could be your mentor.

If I have to have a mentor,

I'd rather it be someone
with an advanced degree.

- I have an M.D.
- Okay, I guess.

You got anything to eat?

Okay, Ma, we got to go.
We got a case.

All right, come on.
I'll make you all breakfast.

Frankie!
Come here!

- I need you to do something.
- You got a big case?

You see those teenagers over there?

Run their names ... make sure
they haven't killed anybody.

You mean the ones
standing 6 inches from Ma?

You probably shouldn't let
them out of your sight, either.

3x13 - Virtual Love

Where would Luke Skywalker
be without Yoda?

Or the Karate Kid without Mr. Miyagi?

Okay, I said I would do it.
I'll be a mentor.

Agnodice was the first female
gynecologist in ancient Athens.

She was one of mentors.

You mean when you time-traveled
back to the 1st century?

3rd century B.C. Marie Curie was
also a big influencer of mine.

- Who were your mentors?
- Uh, police woman, Kojak...

Oh! Jim Rockford.

What was he cooking?

- Beer.
- Beer?

He's a microbrewer.
This is his test kitchen.

Victim is Greg Jensen, C.E.O.
and brewmaster of Overlord Ale.

- Who found the body?
- Jensen's assistant, ruby Burke.

- She found him this morning.
- ...and then I came back, and...

She have an alibi?

Yeah, she was in Scandinavia
for the last month.

She was selling her
boss's Viking-themed beer.

She flew in
from Reykjavik this morning.

When was he killed?

He's been dead at least eight hours.

- Sweet poster girl.
- No kidding.

- Uh, gentlemen?
- Huh?

Do we have any suspects?

Oh, victim's married.
Wife's been notified.

Says she was home taking
care of their two young kids.

- We're bringing her in.
- 2.5-centimeter round hole.

Hmm.
That's a very unusual entrance wound.

- What was he stabbed with?
- Not a knife.

Are we playing
"process of elimination" again?

Yes.

It's not a garbage disposal,
cleaver, pitchfork, pinking shears...

Uh, ladies?

Right.

Ah. But this...
appears to be a metal rivet.

Maybe it came off the murder weapon.

There's some blood droplets...

...leading into that mill.

I think we just found what's
left of our murder weapon.

The trace confirmed that the blood on
the stick belonged to Jensen.

You think a sharpened stick
could do that kind of damage?

Yeah.
Doesn't explain the metal rivet, though.

Hey. Jane.

Oh, my g...
Frankie, I'm so sorry.

Oh, no problem.

I've been having a barrel
of laughs with your mentees.

Who has mentees?

Um... you.

And you.

Apparently, Maura and Jane
volunteered all of us ...

Toured booking, properties.

I was just about to show them
how I write a traffic ticket.

This is snore-ville... population, you.

They're all yours.

- Hey.
- Hello.

Hi! Please...
don't play with that.

Why you got a doll, man?

I was wondering if I could
go see the medical examiner,

maybe check out an autopsy?

- Uh... no.
- Why not?

'Cause it's not on the itinerary.

- I'm taking A.P. Bio, so ...
- Advanced-placement biology?

- Yeah.
- What, you think a reject kid can't be smart?

At least reject kids
don't play with dolls.

Wait. I bet you call him an
action figure, right, bro?

Yes, and if you touch my "action
figure" again, I will break your face.

If I could observe an autopsy,
it'd count for extra credit.

Okay, fine.

But you need to have your parents
sign this liability release waiver.

- No, Dania, your parents got to ...
- It's legal. I'm emancipated.

My mom's dead,
and my dad's in prison.

If you don't believe me,
here are my documents.

Okay. Come on.

W-w-w-w-wait. We want
to see dead bodies, too.

Yeah.
Better than this bullshit.

Oh, shoot.

I bet you wish you picked
the "chick" Detective now.

Sorry, fellas.

Cover him up.

Cover him up, Maura.
Cover him up.

- Hi.
- You're about to do the "y" incision?

Yes!
And do you know why the "y," Dania?

To facilitate the removal
of the breastplate.

- Go ahead. Do it.
- Uh... no.

Our release form doesn't
cover slicing and dicing.

You said I could check out an autopsy.

I didn't say which part.

Okay, so, the first thing
that I do is examine the body.

Does your release form cover gloves?

Yes.

All right.
Do you notice anything?

His leg's a little swollen,
but I don't see an injury.

You're very observant.

You think it could be
deep-vein thrombosis?

I read about this war correspondent

who died from sitting in
one place for too long.

Better be careful, Maura.
I think we found your replacement.

Can I see the wound?

- What kind of weapon did that?
- I'm not sure.

But the ragged wound edges suggest
some kind of a barbed blade.

Detective, can you help
me turn him on his side?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

There we go.

We'll take a closer look
with the fluoroscope.

Huh.

There's something lodged near T-8.

Looks like some kind of spear tip.

It looks like an iron krokspjot.

Aha! Just as I suspected ...
a crockpot.

Krokspjots like this
were used during the Viking era.

Oh. I think these are rune
letters carved into the metal.

The runic alphabet is an ancient
nordic one that predates latin.

Can you read what it says?

No. I'll have to
consult a Runic scholar.

Well, Greg Jensen sold
Viking-themed beer.

Maybe the spear tip came from
his brewery or his office.

Okay, Frost and Korsak have
a lead on a possible suspect.

Come on, Dania.

Cool. Can I watch you
intimidate the suspect?

No. But hurry.

I don't want you to miss
my mother's cooking class.

Thank your mom for that cooking class.

Dawg and Reuben almost got
slapped upside the head.

Korsak, you were gonna hit your mentees?

Not me ... Frost.
Mr. Chill can't take teen 'tude.

Take a look at this.

That is the Overlord Ale logo.
But look at this.

Why would a brother want to
be in a nordic motorcycle gang?

Ragnarok Riders is a motorcycle
club. It's not a gang, Frost.

Well, the motorcycle-club logo
is similar to Overlord Ale.

Don't tell me our victim
lifted a motorcycle club's logo.

It gets worse.
See the sexy Viking poster girl?

- Yes.
- Meet Sophie West.

Here she is with her daddy.

Clark "Skull Crusher" West ...
head of the Ragnarok Riders.

He sued Greg Jensen, claiming
copyright infringement.

Yeah, 'cause he couldn't sue
for daughter infringement.

Jensen paid Sophie
to be the model for Overlord Ale.

- Daddy sued over the logo and lost.
- The guy's a sore loser.

Hey, you watch yourself, pencil neck.

You watch your back.
This battle isn't over.

Oh, I think we should
pay Skull Crusher a visit.

That's not a drill.
Nothing's scheduled today.

Get the hell out of here, people!

Let's move ... now!
Go!

I left my mask from Nairobi inside.

I left my lucky notepad.

I should've
grabbed my swiss lithographs.

Look at this building.
Do you see any smoke?

No.

And does your super-sniffer
nose smell any smoke?

No.

I think one of Rondo's
rejects pulled the fire alarm

to get out of Ma's
"fun with fresh produce" lecture.

All right, everybody.
Some joker pulled the fire alarm.

- Let's get back to work.
- Told you ... false alarm.

Frankie!

- Ma. What's the matter?
- Someone stole my wallet!

Ok. I cashed my paycheck,
I put my wallet in my purse {*70 lines need corr.}

I keep my purse underneath
the counter like I always do.

- That's not very safe.
- Clearly Maura, thank you.

You don't think...

- Yeah, I do think.
- Me too.

- I better put these mask right to...
- Ok, put them in a safe.

- I don't have a safe!
- No one's taking you masks, Maura!

Ok, which one
of you snap the wallet? Hm?

Look, anyone of you that
"found" my mother's wallet

you'd turn it now,
we don't press charges.

You heard Detective Vanilla.
If one of you's been guilty parted...

guilty parted better speak up!

- I didn't steal no wallet.
- Me neither.

I want a lawyer.

Stand up.
Do it!

Hold your hands up.

Whoever pull the fire alarm,
has gonna have U.V. dye residue.

So? I turned it on, so
I turned it off.

- Sure you did.
- I didn't steal no wallet. I...

You can't proove nothing!

No, but we can follow mis...
for pulling the alarm.

I know that it doesn't seem like it,
but they're all good kids.

Dawg has scholarship to B.C.U.
And he can lose it, if he gets in trouble.

If?!
Oh, he's in trouble!

You'll find that wallet, Rondo,
then we'll talk.

...but I feel bad.

You think that 20 minutes with us
will turn they lives around?

Hello. Will you support
kids cancer aid, too?

Uh... Boston homicide.
Where we can find Clark West?

Clark!

- What do you want?
- We're investigating a homicide.

Wasn't asking you.
I asked mylady.

Clark West.
Friends call me "Skull Crasher".

You're right bitch, Detective.

No, I am a terrible passanger.
We're here about a murder.

I'm busy.
Gettin' ready for a charity ride.

Here's your choice.
You can answer our questions,

or enjoy a bitch-ride and squad-core
back to headquarters

You've got 30 seconds of my attention.

Greg Jensen, the beermaker you sued,
was murdered yesterday.

You know.
Guy was a prick.

He might ahead something
like that come to you.

We have video of you threatening
Greg Jensen at the courthouse.

Stole my club logo.
Made my daughter a marketing bitch.

Where were you, you say?

Mass Gen.
Pedriatic cancer center.

Bringing toys, books to the kids.
You wanna see the photos?

Big Carl here
maxed up the camera member.

Really cute.
He signed them.

- Good luck with your aid.
- Thank you.

Hi.

I emailed the photo
of the rune letters on

speartip to my old
nordic history professor.

- It says: "Olaf the Boneless"
- The recipy to Viking soup?

Hm. Could it have
meant "Ivar"... I wonder.

- Hm, you too?
- There was a Viking leader named

"Ivar the Boneless".

Some scholars believe that
he was a disabled dwarf, who was

carryin' into battle on his shield.
He was a great warrior.

How was a boneless dwarf
on a shield... great warrior...

You... how'd he managed
to do this?

- Do what?
- A boneless dwarf...

- What was so urgent?
- The crime lab found semenal fluid

mixed with vaginal secretions
in the victim's Tyvek suit.

- It appears to be a month old.
- In?

So, our victim had sex
about month ago and then...

wore his disposable
Tyvek suit again?

Yes. And they also found
vaginal secretions on a spear.

Okay, that qualifies as the
grossest trace evidence ever. {* from here ok}

Relax.
The secretions were here.

Probably from transfer.
Also about a month old.

And there was enough cellular
material in both to extract DNA.

- We're running it.
- So our killer could be a woman.

Well, since a weapon this sharp
doesn't need much force, it's possible.

Korsak is interviewing
the victim's wife.

I need one of those swabby things.

W... stop! I'll get you
whatever you're looking for.

But I need a more
precise description.

I have to figure out
what you say all day long.

You can't figure out
"swabby thing"? Really?

Mrs. Jensen, this is Detective Rizzoli.

- Very sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.

Mrs. Jensen was just telling me

that her husband often
disappeared for days at a time.

You have any idea
where he was going?

He said he was working
on a new Ale recipe.

But I had my suspicions.

I think he was having an affair.

I'm right, aren't I?

We found a woman's DNA on
your husband's clothing.

Was he gone for an extended
period of time about a month ago?

This has been going
on for almost a year.

You understand that
we'll need to rule you out

as a source of that DNA?

Yeah, of course.
Whatever you guys need.

I found a second phone
in my husband's car.

I believe they're
called "burn" phones.

I wrote the number down.

Maybe that'll help.

Thank you.

What were you thinking
Detective Frost?

I guess I wasn't thinking, sir.

- You sure as hell weren't.
- I'm sorry, sir.

- What was that all about?
- I made hazelnut coffee.

Apparently, he doesn't like hazelnut.

Oh, boy.

Why is Cavanaugh in such a lousy mood?

- 'Cause he broke up with my mother.
- You're kidding me.

Unh-unh.

You don't look too surprised.

Uh...
your mother confided in me,

and asked me not to say anything.

Well, good. I'm glad she had you
to talk to. She was really hurt.

- I think she still likes him.
- How do you feel about that?

Like it's time to set a good
example for Mrs. Buttinsky

and not be Detective Buttinsky.

Run this number, will you?
It's our victim's burn phone.

- Wife seems clean to me.
- Me too.

I'm guessing ol' Greg wasn't
calling home on that second phone.

Yeah, he was.
But not the family home.

Our boy had two phones
for two addresses.

He was using his secret
batphone to call...

a back bay condo
he bought a year ago.

I'm thinking not only was
he cheating on his wife,

- he had a little love nest.
- Let's go toss it.

Boston police!
Open the door!

Clear.

I think all that yelling
is just this game.

Clear.

Olaf the Boneless.
That's the same name

that was on the spear
tip that killed him.

Must be Jensen's user name.

Man. He liked playing.
He's logged 2,738 hours.

He has some high-level
weapons, too ...

Porgeir's Ax, Thor's hammer.

And a saga shield?
Damn!

You seem to know
a lot about this, Frost.

- I've dabbled in MMORPG.
- Have you?

Massive multiplayer
online role-playing games.

This one's called
"Vikings of the Realm."

Why would you waste 2,700
hours playing a computer game?

- Points.
- Points for what?

- To win!
- Win what?!

Okay, so... Greg Jensen ran a
successful microbrewing company,

but he pretended to be
"Olaf the Boneless" most of the time.

Look at this ...
snail mail,

addressed to the victim at a P.O. Box,
sent within the last month.

No return address.
Can't read it.

Looks like it's written in rune.

Hey, look at this.
"Your whore is next."

I'm thinking our killer isn't done.

I'm just saying it's
more cost-effective

to get a quart of frozen yogurt
if we're sharing the same flavors.

I like my own, okay?

Well, why don't you like it swirled?
It's still mocha and mint.

No. When you swirl it,
it becomes one flavor.

Coffee toothpaste.

Don't get your pepperoni
grease on my half.

Okay, get your mushroom off my half.

Did you talk to your mother?

Lieutenant Cavanaugh looked
miserable when we left.

Well, maybe because we
have an unsolved homicide

with a killer hiding in a video game.

Who's that?

He did not!
A lavender VW bug?

God's honest truth ...
lavender, for a guy who's...

You feel me?

Who's gonna feel you,
Detective Gibson?

Detective Rizzoli.

How are you? Uh...

I was just
dropping your mother off.

Did you permit this?

Well, I insisted they each
have one foot on the floor

when there's heavy petting
on your mother's bed.

You're so funny.

- Uh, Ma, can I talk to you for a sec?
- Uh... s-sure.

Oh, hey,
I'm just gonna go upstairs.

I think I forgot to charge
my electric toothbrush.

Okay, why are you doing
this to Lieutenant Cavanaugh?

Okay, Jane, this is
so not your business.

Yeah, it is. Especially when
he's taking it out on all of us.

The ... the entire squad.

Well, then he's more juvenile
than I thought he was.

You want to hear juvenile?

"If you were a car,
you'd be a '68 Dodge Charger."

- You don't even like that goofball.
- Don't call him that.

- And I do, too!
- I don't believe you.

And if you are doing this
just to get to Cavanaugh,

then I'm gonna say the
same thing you told me.

Don't.
It's beneath you.

Jane.

Wh... Ma?
A-are you crying?

- I'm so proud of you.
- W-w-why are you crying?

Because I raised you ...
I raised a beautiful girl.

And...

...you're right.

Thank you.

- I love you, Ma.
- I love you more.

- Thanks, gorgeous.
- Detective.

That's a good sign.

At least she's not drawing
attentntion to her mouth.

No sign of flirtation.

I needed a pick-me-up
after that Porsche fiasco.

You hear about this, Rizzoli?
Everybody's talking about it.

Oh, yeah, everyone's talking
about that old "Porsh," Gibson.

It's "Porsh-ah."

Really?
"Gibson" is an italian name?

No. But some of us know a lot
about high-end italian rides.

It's a german car, you idiot.

I think they're
crotch-blocking each other.

"Crotch-blocking"?
Really?

It's my old nordic-history professor.

His office says he's almost here.

Mrs. Vanilla.
We found your wallet!

Rondo, thank you!
Oh! Where'd you find it, Rondo?

I knew you guys didn't take it.

Well, we checked the trash.
Dania found it in a dumpster.

Is everything there, Ma?

Well, my license, my
ATM card, my cash ...

Oh.

- I'm missing 100 bucks.
- Are you sure, Mrs. Vanilla?

Okay, Dawg, let's go.
We're going upstairs to booking.

No, Jane, wait.
Let me handle this.

How would your mother feel?

She wouldn't be very proud, would she?

Um...
Dawg doesn't have a mother.

- His mother passed.
- Oh.

Oh.

Oh, I'm ... I'm sor...
don't cry.

- Don't cry. All right.
- He didn't do it.

He's covering for me.

The money's there.
I put it back.

Dania, why would
you steal from me?

I needed $100 for a textbook.

Well, why didn't you tell the teacher?

- I didn't want her to know ...
- What?

That ... that you live
in a teen shelter?

Yeah.

You went to the bathroom.
I took the wallet out of your purse.

Dawg saw you coming, and he
pulled the alarm to cover for me.

- I'm really sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.

Jane.
This is professor Walter Lowell

from the Department
of scandinavian studies

at Boston Cambridge university.

- Hello. It's nice to meet you.
- The pleasure is mine.

Dr. Isles was about
to show me some letters

written in the rune alphabet that
you all would like me to translate.

Yes.
I have some of the letters here.

We made copies of the originals.

Oh, floppy disks?

Oh, yes, I certainly do remember
when the floppies were the originals.

When you said "old," I didn't realize

that you meant he and
Olaf went on Viking raids... together.

He's hard of hearing,
but he can read lips.

These appear to be
written in proto-norse.

That's an indo-european
language spoken in Scandinavia.

It's thought to have evolved

as a proto-germanic northern
dialect over the 1st century A.D.

Please ...
one nerd at a time.

Well, these are love letters
addressed to a Viking

by the name of Olaf the Boneless.

No, that's ...
that's historically incorrect.

it's Ivar the Boneless.

Hmm.

I hope he's not
charging us by the hour.

Stop.

They were written by Olaf's lover,

a Viking maiden by the name of Gunnhild.

Oh, dear. Olaf was still married
to a different Viking maiden

by the name of Undirmaor.

- You know, "Undirmaor" means ...
- Not now, Maura.

Exactly how deep
into this game was he?

Listen to this.

"Your velvety beard still hums

against the bosom of my tender flesh."

Okay. Well, uh, you've
been very helpful.

The DNA recovered from
the spear is a match

for the DNA found on the victim.
It's from the same woman.

- Thank you, Susie.
- Okay, well, that's a big break.

Yep.

It was nice to meet you.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm not finished with your letters.

Sit. Sit.
Have some tea.

Have some tea.

"Cold are the counsel of women."
Cold, indeed.

Find anything on the victim's computer?

Nothing useful.
He just used it to play MMOS.

No idea how he had
a successful business.

I guess playing with Geirlaug of Gongu
is more fun than making beer.

"Vikings of the Realm" game makers

sent over subscriber information ...

12,000 names of people
Greg Jensen played with.

I was about to go through
them when Jane rescued me.

- Where is she?
- Trapped with professor Windbag.

Undirmaor and... Gunnhild?

I can't find under-girl,
but I found the other one.

Gunnhild is va-va-va-voom!

Her name is Kendra Dee.

She logs in from her
house in South End ...

conveniently located
just minutes from us.

I'm not doing anything.
I could help you pick her up.

Yes, that's my avatar.
Can't you tell?

Yeah. Quite the resemblance.

Were you having an
affair with Greg Jensen?

Oh, I was.

It was the most intensely
passionate affair of my life.

We made love on the Isle
of Thanet, Nottingham, York.

- Ma'am, was this I.R.L.?
- It was enchanting and magical.

Olaf swept me off my feet.

That's not what I asked.
Was it I.R.L.?

It was not.

- What's "I.R.L."?
- "In real life."

- Ma'am, have you seen this before?
- No, but I can read rune letters.

It's the name of my lover ...
"Olaf the Boneless."

Did you write these
letters to Greg Jensen?

To Olaf.
It's a shame he's dead.

This has to be the work of Undirmaor.

She did everything in her
power to drive us apart.

Do you know who
Undirmaor is in the, uh...

- ... the I.R.L.?
- No. I do not.

But mark my words ...
I will get that woman.

Take my card a-and call me
before you do that. Ma'am.

Ma'am.
Greg Jensen was killed I.R.L.

Yeah. By an R.P.

"Real person."

It's Jane.

We'd like to do a cheek
swab for a DNA sample.

If you must.

Darn!
Who am I gonna play with now?

Oh, my god.
I thought that professor

would never stop
talking about underwear.

Undirmaor has got mad hacking skills.

Keeps changing accounts,
deleted her avatar's history.

Well, what do you know?
It's Gunnhild.

She's cute.

She stopped looking like that in 1963.

She's at a secret gaming event.
I'm invited.

Well, the DNA results
haven't come back yet.

She could be our killer.

Uh-oh.

She's says she's about to
make contact with Undirmaor.

Let's go.

There's Porgeir.
And there's Thor.

And Grettir.
And Refur!

"Refur"?

Well, I don't see my date.

Speak your preference, Viking king ...

Raiding, looting,
pillaging, slaughtering.

Maybe...
Erich the Blood Ax has seen her.

Whoa!
Your name, wench?

Detective Rizzoli, Boston homicide.

I'm sorry.
W-we're role-playing.

Get it, yeah.

Uh, we're looking for
a Viking named "Gunnhild."

Sure, yeah ... the babe.

She's in the lower realm.

Come on!
You've only got one life left.

And I got to go
back to the beginning.

Oh, crap.
Mrs. D! Kendra!

Call for backup.
We got to lock this place down.

Hey, you.
You! Hey!

I need all units in the
area at Solly's comic store.

Did you see anyone come in here?

Uh, no, sir.
Ma'am. Ma'am.

Make sure nobody leaves
this store, all right? Go on!

She was stabbed with a dagger
... just like in the game.

Who the hell is Undirmaor?

Because that's our killer.

Tell me you have something

'cause we don't have a single witness.,

Well, I found a hair on
Kendra's cloak. No root ball.

But we are trying a new
forensic laser technique.

It uses ultraviolet light
and mass spectrometry.

- Faster, please.
- Zaps the hair and turns it into a gas.

Explain how that's gonna
help me solve two murders.

It may help us determine
what the killer ate

and drank over the last year.

How is knowing how many ding
dongs our suspect ate helpful?

The mass spectrometer results
are back on the hair tests.

- I know you've been waiting for them.
- Thank you.

Because hair grows slowly over time,
it creates a timeline of sorts.

Okay.
So, what did the killer eat ...

Uh, let me see ...
for breakfast in April?

- That's interesting.
- It certainly is.

Strawberry waffles?
Eggs benedict? What?

Fermented minke whale
and sheep's head cheese.

Where would you get minke
whale and sheep's head cheese,

assuming you'd want it?

Um... Scandinavia?

Scandinavia.
Maura, what does "Undirmaor" mean?

- In english?
- No. In proto-hobbit.

- Yes, in english!
- "Underling" or "apprentice."

Apprentice.
Or assistant.

Maura, we know someone who's
probably been eating whale or sheep.

Got a warrant.
Alibi was bullshit.

The airline just confirmed
Ruby Burke, Greg Jensen's assistant,

flew standby on an earlier
flight from Reykjavik.

- Nice, Frost.
- Okay. Thanks.

Ruby didn't show up to work today.

She's playing
"Vikings of the realm" somewhere.

- So I put a bolo out in the realm?
- No. I built an avatar to find her.

Looks just like you.

We got to go in disguise.

I still don't understand
the point of this stupid game.

Well, what is so hard about it?

You raid ships, plunder villages,
Kill sworn enemies... to win.

Win what? A fantasy lover?

Wait a minute.
I don't think this is about winning.

I think this is about love.

You think Greg Jensen was
having a real affair with Ruby?

I don't know.
It wasn't much of an affair.

There wasn't any evidence
of her at his love nest,

and the secretions and the seminal fluid
that we found were a month old.

Unless Jensen had pity sex.

- Pity sex?
- Yeah, one-time pity sex,

right before he sent
Ruby to Scandinavia.

I mean, he froze her out ...
in real life and in the game, too.

So, Ruby must have
stalked him in the game,

figured out that he had
a new virtual lover...

"Gunnhild," A.K.A. Kendra Dee.

Frost...
check and see if Olaf is online.

Olaf? But Greg Jensen
is dead in the I.R.L.

So explain why Olaf is online
in his back bay love nest.

Not Olaf ... Undirmaor.

Hey.

Ruby, put your hands in the air.

Olaf, my love.

Undirmaor. At last...
you're here.

Ru...
she doesn't even know we're here.

Korsak, unplug that thing.

No.
No! Olaf!

Olaf, please come back, my love.

- Ruby, it's over.
- It's not over.

We were finally together.
Turn it on.

Bring him back.

He's not coming back.
Greg is dead, Ruby.

I loved him.

He loved me.

Did he love Ruby Burke,
or did he love Undirmaor?

He loved me.
Me.

Olaf loved Undirmaor,
and I thought...

oh, god, if only, if only
he knew that it was me ...

me, Ruby, right there all along...

Did you tell him who
you were before or after

you slept with him a month ago?

I gave him my flesh.

And when I told him I
was Undirmaor, he just...

he sent me away.

Ruby, you're under arrest
for the murder of Greg Jensen.

No! No!
Please turn it back on!

And Kendra Dee.

No!
No, he's not gone!

No, he's not gone!
He can't be!

He can't be gone!

Go right to jail!

My turn.
I want to buy me some property.

Hope you hid the good silver.

You pretend to be such a badass,
but you're really a pushover.

I'm glad you brought them here.

Why? So you could study
aberrant juvenile behavior?

They just need some
attention, a little support.

I mean, they've never
played a board game.

- Can you believe that?
- I know.

Maura, how much garlic
did you put on this bread?

- Six cloves.
- Six cl...

They're homeless teenagers.
They're not vampires.

What about Dania?

Well, I'm
gonna keep an eye on her.

And so are you.
And we'll make sure

that she puts that
big brain to good use.

And I talked to Cavanaugh.
The mentor program is now official.

Great.

Yes! Whoo-hoo!

- I wanted park place!
- Oh, too bad, Mrs. Vanilla.

- Hey, Vanilla.
- Yeah.

I'm a landlord!

I never pictured an
evening in with Rondo.

Jane.

You don't think that your mom might...

I don't want to seem
uncharitable, but...

Yes, I will make sure that
the Rondo's rejects family

does not move into
your guesthouse, yes.

Thank you.

- Who's hungry?
- I'm starving.

- Me too!
- Me too! Me too!

- Here you go.
- Oh, man, this looks good!

All right, lasagna's hot.

No, no, no. I got it.

No. No. N-n-no.
J-just look.

- Like this.
- Okay.