Riverdale (2016–…): Season 7, Episode 15 - Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Two: Miss Teen Riverdale - full transcript

Dear Girl Next Door,

I'm not usually one to gripe,

or seek advice from strangers.

But I'm sick
of living in a world

that doesn't take me seriously
as a young businesswoman.

Did you know I can't even
open a checking account?

Dear Girl Next Door,

I know and love who I am.

I'm Black.
I'm bold. I'm beautiful.

But it's frustrating
to live in a world
that doesn't celebrate me

for being those things...



Dear Girl Next Door,

with every breath I take,
I'm living a lie.

Forever worried
that I'll reveal my true self

to an intolerant world

that won't let me love
who I want to love.

Dear Girl Next Door,

I feel like I'm sitting
on a ticking time-bomb,

and it's only a matter of time
before the world stigmatizes me

for being
"a woman of loose morals."

Dear Girl Next Door,

or should I say,
Little Miss Busybody?

What makes you think

you have all the answers,
any-who?

Dear Girl Next Door,



I know I should be grateful
for the things I have,

but it's hard when everything
around me is beautiful

and the world's
constantly reminding me

I'm not one of those things.

Gosh, Ethel,
that's a beautiful sketch.

Is that for art class?

No, she's finishing up
the sign-up sheet

for the town's
annual Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen Pageant.

Your mom asked me
to be her assistant.

Ugh, is it really time for that
embarrassing cattle call again?

Yes, it is.

But this year,
for the first time ever,

we're going
to be broadcast live
on national television,

right out of the RIVW Studios.

Whoop-dee-doo.

I hope you don't
expect me to compete.

Oh, no, of course not.

Why would you wanna
participate in anything

so glorious and wholesome
and all-American

as Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

when you're already
holding the crown

for Miss Grumpy Pants USA?

And I'm sure
you're not interested

in any of our
wonderful prizes this year...

like, say, a new car.

I don't even
have a driver's license.

A Hollywood screen test.

Not interested
in the slightest.

Or a scholarship to whatever
college accepts you.

The pageant's giving away
scholarships? Since when?

Since we're gonna
be broadcast live
on national television.

But I understand.
You're not interested.

Ethel, she is beautiful,

but why don't we change her
from a blonde to a brunette?

I think she'd be
much more likable that way.

What do the rules say
about outside designers?

Because Edith Head
has been dying

to design
a bathing suit for me,

and Miss Riverdale Teen Queen

would be
a divine showcase for it.

Oh, Vee, please tell me

you're not honestly
signing up for that.

I already did, Betty.

Imagine the publicity

it would bring to
the Babylonium if I won.

It's a business decision.

Okay, but it objectifies girls.

I mean, wearing a swimsuit
and heels at the same time.

What about that
little peep show
you did with Archie?

Was that objectifying?

Yes. Well, that was
between me and Archie,

and he was
in his underwear, too.

What I wouldn't give...

How about flashing your panties
on live television?

That was my decision,
on my terms.

Look,
beauty pageants

can certainly be seen
as objectifying women,

if you choose to look at them
solely through that one lens.

What other lens is there?

What's that saying?

"Beauty's in the eye
of the beholder."

Speaking for myself,
I love being beautiful.

And not for
the drooling approval

of some fuddy-duddy judges.

I refuse to give them
any power over me.

I decide
if I'm beautiful or not.

And I am, as are we all.

But doesn't it bother you

that beauty pageants
pit girls against girls?

Oh, there's a way around that.

We gals just need
to make a pact.

No matter who wins, we all win.

And no cat-fighting
or back-biting.

Except against Evelyn Evernever

who, of course, was the first
to sign-up, annoyingly.

Wait, wait, Toni,

you're doing it, too?

Trust me, Betty.

I feel the same way you do.

But this is the first year

that Miss Riverdale Teen Queen
is integrated.

And even though there's not
a snowball's chance in hell

that those stuffed-shirt judges
will give me the title,

I'm gonna make damn sure
that I show the country

at least one Black woman
competing for the crown.

And if I do win, don't worry.

I'm gonna call out
the Miss America pageant

for the fact
that all its contestants

must be of "good health
and the white race."

My parents sponsor
Miss Riverdale Teen queen,
of course,

so it would definitely
raise a few eyebrows

if I didn't compete.

Though, if I do win the title
again this year,

I would use
my platform differently,

advocating for the more...

disenfranchised teens
in this town.

Are you sure
you should be
competing, Midge?

You know,
in your delicate condition?

I mean, won't you be wearing
high-heels for hours on end?

What if you trip?

You're the sweetest
for worrying about me, Fangs.

But...

this might be the last time
I get to do anything like this.

Just...

dress up
and be a 16-year-old girl.

Compete for some silly tiara

like it's the only thing
in the world that matters.

What I said before?

Ice it.

You go compete your heart out
on that stage, baby.

If those judges got eyes
in their head,

they won't even look
at those other wannabes

because you're
the hottest mama,

with the classiest chassis,

in the whole town, by a mile.

All right,
now that it's just us,

selfishly, of course,

I think it would be a gas

if we were all part
of Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

So I'm gonna
go out on a limb here--

I think I know
what you're going to say.

Let me ask you this, Betty.

If your mom
wasn't hosting the pageant,

wouldn't you be competing
for those ginchy prizes?

I mean, imagine if you got
that scholarship.

It could be
your ticket to freedom.

You could go to whatever school
accepted you,

on your own terms,

not at your parents' whims.

Some place like--

Sarah Florence.

Or Smith College.

Mmm-hmm.

So you have thought about it.

I knew it.

♪ There she is ♪

♪ Miss America ♪

♪ There she is, your ideal ♪

♪ The dream
Of a million girls ♪

♪ Who are more than pretty... ♪

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the latest
and greatest

aspiring Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen.

Yes, Mother, I signed up.
Are you overjoyed?

No, actually,
I'm not, Elizabeth.

I would like to know
what your nefarious plan is.

Do you plan on
winning the crown

and then pulling
the entire temple

down around you?

Make some kind of
feminist statement?

No, I do not wanna pull
the temple down around me.

To be honest, it would be nice
to win that scholarship money.

Oh, please, Elizabeth.

You get straight A's.

If you so choose
to go to college,

which I'm not recommending,

I would much rather
you go to finishing school.

You're gonna be able to get
an academic scholarship.

So don't try and bamboozle me

into thinking that you care
about the scholarship.

What would you like me
to say then, Mother?

I would like you to say
that you actually want

to be Miss Riverdale Teen Queen

for the joy
and satisfaction of it.

You know, I was
Miss Riverdale Teen queen
back in my day.

I know. Everyone knows.

The night that I was crowned,

it was the greatest night
of my life.

I thought I could do anything,
be anything.

You know--

Well, it's silly,
but I thought that I...

might grow up
to be a stewardess

and travel the world,
see glamorous places.

Wait, you wanted
to be a stewardess?

Hmm.

-That I did not know.
-Mmm.

What happened?
Why didn't you do it?

Well, I married your father,
of course.

And then I had your sister,

and then I had you,

and I gave up my silly dreams
of becoming a stewardess.

-Can you imagine?
-Yeah. I can.

How fab that
would have been for you,

traveling to all those places,
meeting glamorous people.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, Betty,

whatever your reasons are,

I think this is gonna be
wonderful for you.

Imagine if you won.

That would be the greatest
accomplishment of my life.

This is so exciting.

I can't wait
to rehearse with you girls.

Wait. We have to rehearse?

Yes, of course.

I have to guide you girls
through this entire process.

And mind you,

this is not
just glitz and glam.

This is rigorous hard work,

like going into battle.

So I want you to get
a good night's sleep
tonight, dear.

I don't wanna see
any shadowy bags

under those eyes
in the morning.

A Miss Riverdale Teen Queen
does not walk, she glides.

That's what
I wanna see from you.

Gliding, gliding, gliding...

Focus.

We wanna block out everything
and only concentrate

on being the most poised,
the most refined,

and the most elegant we can be.

Appearance, posture,
carriage, character,

all these elements

go into the making
of a Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

We must carry ourselves

with the dignity
of English royalty.

Our categories
are evening gowns,

vim and vigor,

bathing suits, point of view,

and the ever-most important
talent competition.

It's all about showing
how well-rounded

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen is.

Well, that's all
fine and dandy,

but I don't need
some creepy old men

telling me how well-rounded
my backside is.

I know how shapely I am.

-Toni!
-Greaser garbage.

Preppy troll.

Miss Topaz, really!

As Miss Blossom will tell you,

being Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen,

you serve as
an ambassadrix for Riverdale

for the entire year
of your appointment.

Why, you must be
the female embodiment

of all things good and decent

in our little town with pep.

In fact, "pep" should be
your middle name.

All right, one more hour
of posture work,

and then we will go down
to Mrs. Andrews' dress shop

and have you fitted for gowns.

Ethel Muggs,
as the winner of this year's

Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen pageant,

can you tell us
what you're feeling

at this exact moment?

Gosh, Mrs. Cooper,

I guess I'm really just wishing

that my parents
were alive to see this.

Oh, but, Ethel, they are.

Mom?

Dad?

Ethel, as our newly-minted
Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

are there any other dreams
that you're looking to fulfill?

Well, now that you mention it,

a lot of people
don't know that I paint

as well as draw comic books.

And I would be so jazzed
to have an original Ethel Muggs

hanging in a real gallery
or museum.

Ethel, I have got
some great news for you then.

Your beautiful self-portrait

is going to be on display
at the Guggenheim Museum.

Oh, my gosh, the Guggenheim?

Yes.

Ethel, this is your night,
and your night alone.

Is there anything else

that would make it
even more special?

Well...

I think it would just be
the ginchiest thing ever

if Jughead Jones
were my boyfriend.

Oh, Ethel.

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen
has the pick of the litter,

but if it's Jughead Jones
you want,

then Jughead is yours.

Jughead?

Are you really my boyfriend?

Of course I am.

You've always been my best gal.

Beautiful.

Ethel?

Ethel?

Ethel!

Sorry, what was that,
Mrs. Cooper?

You did make an appointment
at the dress shop, I hope?

Mmm-hmm.

Look at
all these gorgeous girls.

You know,
back in the day,

I competed to be
Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

all through high school.

Against you, Alice,
if I'm not mistaken.

Well, you always gave me
a run for my money, Mary.

And you always won.

You know, it's funny.

I really thought that
being Miss Riverdale Teen Queen

would be a stepping-stone

to doing something
important with my life.

Like, I don't know,

being the first lady
or something.

Well, there's
nothing more important

than being a wife
and mother, Mary.

Maybe for our
generation, Alice.

But I feel like these girls

could do anything they want,

be anything that they want.

No disrespect
to Mamie Eisenhower,

she's an icon,

but do you girls ever think
we'll have a female president?

I wouldn't vote for a woman.

Or a Black president,
for that matter?

Man or a woman.

Think about how much change
would have to occur

in the world
for that to happen.

It'll happen.
In our lifetime, I bet.

Now, now.

I think it's important
to manage one's expectations.

Don't you think, Mary?

Of course.

Oh, Ethel, can you make sure
that you pin Betty's dress

all the way around the hem?

Okay, Midge,
let's look at this fit on you.

Ethel, are you crying?

Sorry.

I won't get any tears
on your dress, I promise.

No, no, what's the matter?

Nothing.

You're just
so beautiful, Betty.

You and all the other girls,
you're just so beautiful.

I think we might need to
let this out just a tiny bit.

Gosh, Midge,

you better start cutting back
on those desserts.

Otherwise, that cute
serpent boyfriend of yours

might decide that you're
too much woman to handle.

Evelyn, why don't you
do us all a favor

and take a long walk
off a short pier?

Just gonna go
get my measuring tape.

Midge, dear,

why don't you and I
have a little chat later?

Huh? Just between us?

Ethel, what were
those waterworks

at the dress shop about?

Did something happen?

No.

Nothing.

I guess I just wish

that I could be competing
with you all.

Ethel, you're so beautiful.
Why aren't you competing?

I couldn't.

You heard what your mom said

about being
Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

She's supposed to embody
the best of the town,

be Riverdale's ideal girl.

That's not me, Betty.

I'm the girl
whose parents were murdered.

The girl who's quiet
and likes comic books

and draws creepy pictures.

No one in their right mind
would crown me

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

I know what
my mom's been saying, Ethel,

but straight
from the fridge, you...

You're such a wonderful,
beautiful person.

You've overcome
so much adversity in your life,

more than
any other girl in Riverdale,

and that is inspiring.

You are inspiring.

You have more pep
in your little finger

than the rest of us do
in our whole bodies combined.

And you have every right

to be up there competing
just as much as the rest of us.

No.

I couldn't.

Really, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said anything.

So, Midge,

how far along are you?

And no fibbing, please.

I recognize that glow.

Girls, I appreciate
you gathering

for an emergency meeting
before school.

Now, some of you may know

Midge Klump
is no longer with us.

What? What happened?

Did Midge die?

Oh, no, no, she's still alive.
But regrettably,

she is no longer eligible

to compete for
Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

And, moreover,
she will no longer

be a student here
at Riverdale High.

She will continue her studies
at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.

But Mrs. Cooper--

And I assure you
she is doing just fine.

Really, girls,
this is the best thing for her.

And when you see her again
in six or seven months,

you will see that
she is right as rain.

Six or seven months?
What? Is Midge--

Also, this is a good time
to remind you

that we must treat
our bodies as temples,

temples that must be protected
against any kind of defilement.

On that note,

we will see you back here
for some good clean fun

later this afternoon, okay?

Very good.

I just don't understand.
Why would Midge
be sent away like that?

I thought
you were supposed to be smart.

It's because Midge has a bun
in the oven, of course.

Evelyn, shut your
pie hole right now.

It's the worst-kept
secret in town.

Second worst, after you two.

This wouldn't be
the first time

a girl's been sent away
to hide her shame.

I mean, sadly, this is
standard practice in Hollywood.

- Which is nothing to be ashamed of.
- -Says you.

She let a greaser
paw at her like a dirty rag.

You're cruising for a bruising,
you snot-nosed square.

Okay, wait.

So Midge and Fangs
have actually...

Yes, Betty.

Just once or multiple times?

From the way those two
would look at each other,

I'm guessing they were
doing the deed on the reg.

If you must know,

Midge loves Fangs
and Fangs loves Midge.

And if it wasn't for her
classist racist parents,

they would be
together right now.

Quite the cautionary tale,
if you ask me.

Funnily enough, no one is,
you goon from Saskatoon.

I'm just, I'm wondering

how Midge could have
ended up getting...

Uh...

No, no, of course,
I understand how it happened.

I'm just wondering
if they were using...

If they were using protection?

-Good question.
-Midge said they were.

But once it slipped.

That's what Fangs told me, too.

See, this is why
they ought to invent,

I don't know,
a pill or something.

A what?

A pill, like a monthly pill,

that girls can take,

that protects them from...

accidents, even happy ones.

Because, let's face it, ladies,

we're the ones who have to live
with the consequences.

Not the boys.

They get claps on the back
while we bear the burden,

while we're stigmatized.

Poor Midge.
Now her whole life is just--

Her life
is not ruined.

Midge is one of my Vixens.

I will not let
this destroy her.

Except you're
no longer a Vixen,
and neither is Midge.

Really, who did
let you sit with us?

Wonder if Fangs
even knows about this?

Well, if he doesn't now,
he will soon.

The whole school will.

Then I should find him.

-Talk to him.
-I'll come with you.

Betty, what are you
thinking about?

Just how quickly
your entire life can change.

How one night can decide
everything for you.

You were quiet
in the lounge, Ethel.

I keep thinking about Midge
at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.

It's awful
what's happening to Midge,

and we will figure out
a way to help her.

But in the meantime...

I also think
this presents an opportunity.

What do you mean?

Well, there's an open spot now

to replace Midge
in the pageant,

and what better girl to do it
than you?

Do you really
think that, Betty?

I do.

It almost feels like
your destiny now,

but only if you want to, Ethel.

I... I do.

But what about your mom?

I mean, there's still so much
that needs to get done,

and she still
needs an assistant.

I have someone
in mind for that.

They took Midge?

I'm gonna go up there
to that convent,

I'm gonna bust
Midge out of there.

She doesn't
belong in that place.

They do experiments
on those kids,

give them all
psychedelic drugs and stuff.

Oh, pump
the brakes there, Fangs.

The last thing anyone needs
is you going in half-cocked.

Kidnapping Midge
after she's already
been kidnapped once

will only make things worse.

We need more information
before anyone does anything.

Midge's parents
know she's pregnant

because Mrs. Cooper
forced it out of her,

but they may not know
that you're the father.

We should endeavor
to keep it that way

so that you're not arrested.

Or worse.

Okay, what am I
supposed to do, huh?

Bupkis?

We stick
with the original plan.

You write a hit song,
you get a gold record
under your belt

and you become undeniable
to Midge's parents.

You just need to focus

on getting ready for when
you and Midge get reunited.

Look,
my parents have made

many a charitable donation
to the Sisters.

So I will work on setting up

at least a phone call
between you and dear Midge.

But you have to listen to Toni.

And, Fangs, remain calm.

Calm. Okay.

Beautiful.

What's going on in here?

I'm just getting
Ethel all caught up.

But she has
perfect poise, honestly.

And doesn't she look to die for
in her dress?

Getting caught up on...
what exactly?

Oh, didn't you hear?

Ethel's replacing Midge
in the pageant,

and luckily, she already
knows all the routines.

That is wonderful.

Um, but who's
gonna be my assistant?

Here's your java, Mrs. Cooper.

Just the way
Betty said you liked it.

Three sugar, extra cream.

-Elizabeth, can I speak to you
in the hallway for a moment?
-Sure, Mom.

Just a few more laps,

and then we'll brainstorm
some ideas

for the talent
competition, yeah?

I knew it.

I knew you were gonna
try to undermine me somehow.

How am I trying
to undermine you?

Midge dropped out,

or more likely,
was forced out by you.

Oh.

So now what's wrong
with Ethel competing?

What's wrong?

What's wrong is Ethel
does not represent the ideals

of Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,
not by a country mile.

Why, she's not pregnant.

No, no, she's not.

But she...
She has an unsavory history.

Are you talking about
what happened with her parents?

Or something else?

Ooh. You are awful,
you know that?

I am here

to protect the office
of Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

I'm not gonna let you
turn this competition

into one of your crusades.

- And whether you
believe me or not,

I am also and especially

trying to protect Ethel
from the scrutiny

that Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen demands.

I'm sorry,
but over my dead body

is she going to
compete in this pageant--

Mom, Ethel should be
Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

She needs and deserves it
more than the rest of us.

Think about it
for one second, okay?

Ethel is an orphan.

This scholarship may be
her only chance
to go to college.

-No!
-Mom.

And that is final.
Ethel is a lovely girl.

But this is not a charity,
it's a competition.

And since you made this mess,

you're the one
that's gonna tell her

that she has to withdraw
from the pageant.

Not me!

- What's
the trouble now, Betty?

Well, I got Ethel
to sign up for the pageant,

and no surprise,
my mom blew a gasket.

She's not letting Ethel compete
in Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

- even though there's an empty slot.
- -What?

- Oh, dear.
- Golly.

And why doesn't she want Ethel

to drop a nickel in
and participate?

It's more of the same.

Ethel doesn't
represent the ideal,

blah, blah, blah.

My mom is nuttier
than a Christmas fruitcake,

but I'm in it now

and I don't wanna
be the one to tell Ethel
that she doesn't...

represent the very best
of Riverdale.

Imagine what winning
this crown would do for her.

Imagine the doors
that it would open,

not just in high school,
but for the rest of her life.

Honestly, Ethel's got
as much chance
of winning as I do,

but we're with you, Betty.

What should we do?

Uh, I'm open to ideas, ladies.

Well, I vote we stand together,

link arms and demand
Ethel gets chance to compete

or we all withdraw.

Quote it. I'm in, sisters.

This pageant's nowheresville
without us teen contestants.

Okay.

I'll go talk to my mom.

Hold the line, Betty.

Thinking it through,

maybe this is
one of those times

you go around your mom.

To someone who might
be more inclined

to listen to reason...

or threats.

Someone like... my dad?

Exactly.

And maybe you shouldn't
go in alone, either.

Maybe you go with
a more seasoned negotiator,

who won't get bogged down

in messy, sticky
family dynamics.

Like moi.

Okay.

-Mr. Cooper.
-Hi, Dad.

Hey, ladies.
What's the good word?

May we bend your ear
about a few,

let's call them
competition parameters,

that we and our
fellow pageant contestants
have been discussing.

And what would
those parameters be?

The first being,
Ethel Muggs must be allowed

to participate
in the competition.

Okay, let me just
stop you girls right there.

I've already gotten an earful
about this from Mrs. Cooper,

and I'm afraid that
there is just no wiggle-room.

-But Mr. Cooper--
-I'm sorry, girls, truly.

But there is a lot
riding on this pageant.

And how we present
ourselves to the world

is of the utmost
importance, Veronica.

It's funny, Mr. Cooper,

I've been doing
a little research

on TV ad spending
just for kicks,

including how much money

a live television event
can bring in.

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen
is going to be huge for RIVW.

We all know that.
We all want that.

Also, we're guessing
you've already sold

all your commercial spots,
am I right?

Which means you're on the hook.

And you can't cash
those wonderful checks

unless Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen

airs without a hitch.

Okay, what exactly
are you two driving at?

Only that

you might find yourself
in a precarious position

if all your
teen contestants suddenly...

decided to
pull out of the pageant.

Which we will, Dad,

if you don't fix it with Mom
so that Ethel can compete.

Betty, I--

Okay, fine.
I'll see what I can do.

Thank you, Mr. Cooper.
That's fantabulous.

And one more thing.

We want the swimsuit promenade
cut entirely from the pageant.

What? Why?

That is the judges'
favorite segment.

I'm sure,

but frankly, there's just
no justifying that outdated

and plainly sexist aspect
of the competition.

Especially considering
all our judges are men,

and two of them
are faculty members
at our school.

Don't you concur, Mr. Cooper?

Why do you constantly
undermine me, Harold?

And especially
on the day of the pageant!

-I... I... I don't--
-Put a sock in it!

You always undercut me. Always.

Which is especially galling

because I have spent
the best years of my life

cleaning up after your messes.

Alice, I'm not trying
to undermine you.

So what if Ethel wins?

And some nosy Brenda Starr

takes it upon herself
to look into her past?

What happens then, Hal?

To us? To our family?

Sweetheart, please,
just calm down.

Oh, do not
tell me to calm down.

It... It... It doesn't matter
if Ethel competes or not.

I mean, you know
who the judges are.

There is no way that Ethel

is going to be
Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

Come on, you're just making

a mountain
out of this molehill.

Oh, you made it
a mountain, Hal.

Now come help me
with my necklace!

They're not fighting
about me, are they?

Oh, no. Not at all.

They're just nervous

about the pageant
being live this year.

That's all.
Last minute jitters.

Trust me, once the cameras
start rolling, they'll be fine.

Now clue me in.

Have you decided on a song
for the talent competition yet?

Archie, lay a patch.

It's time for
the evening gown promenade!

All right, all right,
I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, this reminds me
of the county fairs back home.

We used to have
Miss Duck Creek pageants
every spring,

complete with
butter-carving competitions.

I can't believe they cut
the bathing suit strut.

You really want
to see your sister

prancing around
like a bathing beauty?

It's kind of pervy, no?

Okay, drop dead, Jones.

Don't you have
another comic book
to write or something?

As a matter of fact,
I don't right now.

Pop, can you
turn it up a little?

Kevin's about to sing.

-Welcome back to Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen 1955...
-Thanks, Pop.

...live from the RIVW stages.

And now, would you please
welcome Mr. Kevin Keller,

who will serenade us

during our
evening gown promenade.

♪ Some enchanted evening ♪

♪ You may see a stranger... ♪

First up, our reigning
Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

I give you,
Miss Cheryl Blossom.

♪ Across

A crowded room ♪

♪ And somehow you know... ♪

Miss Betty Cooper.

♪ You know even then ♪

♪ That somehow
You'll see her... ♪

♪ Again and again... ♪

Miss Evelyn Evernever,

and Miss Ethel Muggs.

♪ Some enchanted evening ♪

♪ When you find
Your true love ♪

♪ When you
Hear her call you... ♪

Miss Veronica Lodge.

♪ Across
A crowded room ♪

♪ Then fly to her side ♪

♪ And make her your own... ♪

And finally, Miss Toni Topaz.

♪ Or all through
Your life ♪

♪ You may dream all alone ♪

♪ Once you have found her
Never let her go ♪

♪ Once you have found her ♪

♪ Never ♪

♪ Let her go ♪

Let's hear it
for Mr. Kevin Keller,

but most especially,
our lovely ladies.

Don't they look just swell?

Gorgeous.

And that was
Miss Veronica Lodge
on the tightrope.

Wasn't she the loveliest
of lady daredevils?

-Whoa.
-Wow.

Wow.

And now performing
the original song,

"Who Will Love Me as I Am,"

to end our talent competition,

here is Miss Ethel Muggs.

♪ Like a fish
Plucked from the ocean ♪

♪ Tossed into
A foreign stream ♪

♪ Always knew
That I was different ♪

♪ Often fled into a dream... ♪

Come on.

♪ I ignored
The raging currents ♪

♪ Right against
The tide I swam ♪

♪ But I floated
With the question ♪

♪ Who will love me as I am? ♪

Hot diggity.

Ethel's got a set of pipes.

More than that,
she's got star quality.

Oh, sheesh. Is there
anything this girl can't do?

I think I'm in love.

♪ Could we bend
The laws of nature? ♪

♪ Could a lion love a lamb? ♪

♪ Who could see
Beyond this surface? ♪

♪ Who will love me as I am? ♪

♪ Like a clown
Whose tears cause laughter ♪

♪ Trapped inside
The center ring ♪

♪ Even seeing smiling faces ♪

♪ I am lonely pondering ♪

♪ Who would want
To join this madness? ♪

♪ Who would change
My monogram? ♪

♪ Who will be
Part of my circus? ♪

♪ Who will love me as I am? ♪

♪ Who will ever call
To say, "I love you"? ♪

♪ Send me flowers
Or a telegram? ♪

♪ Who could proudly
Stand beside me? ♪

♪ Who will love me ♪

♪ As I am? ♪

Wow!

Whoo!

Well, it has been
a spectacular evening

and everyone is a winner.

But now it is time
for our judges

to decide who will be the next

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

Fifty cents says it's Veronica.

Who knew she was an acrobat?

Well, I don't know.

Betty's delivery
of the Gettysburg Address
was stirring stuff.

I'll take anyone
as long as it's not my sister.

If there's justice
in this world, it'll be Ethel.

I knew we should have made
the musical about her.

Looks like our judges
have made their decision.

And, as you can see,
my lovely wife, Alice,

a former Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen herself,

has joined me for the verdict.

I must say, you look
absolutely wonderful.

Doesn't she look
wonderful, folks?

Oh, stop it. Stop it.

Thank you, dear.

This is my favorite night
of the year,

even more than Christmas,

because tonight,

one of these lucky girls' lives

is about to change forever.

And the winner
of a brand new car,

a Hollywood screen test,
a college scholarship,

and the title

of Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen, 1955, is...

Ethel Muggs, everyone.

Ethel Muggs
is Miss Riverdale
Teen Queen, 1955!

Smile, dear,
the world is watching.

Hi, sweetheart.

-Congratulations.
-Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Hey, Pop!

Uh, Cheryl said I should be
expecting a call any minute.

You go right ahead, young man.

Hello? Midge?

Fangs. Honeybun.

It's so good
to hear your voice.

I know, baby.

I miss you.

Me, too.

It happened
so fast, Fangs. I... I...

I still can't believe it.

Mrs. Cooper talked to my mom,
and the next thing I knew,

I was in the car
being driven to the convent.

What are we gonna do?

The same thing
that we talked about, Midge.

You just...

You just have to stay strong
while you're in there.

I will. You know I will.

And trust me when I say,

we're gonna
get through this, Midge,

and we're gonna be a family,

and we're gonna get married,

come hell or high water.

You believe me, don't you?

Of course I do.

With all my heart and soul.

That's my girl.

Oh, Fangs, I...

I love you.

I love you, too.

Mom...

I was just going
to get some milk.

Is everything okay?

Is this sour grapes
because Ethel won and I lost?

You think you know everything,
don't you, Betty?

Open it.

Wait, Ethel didn't win?

That's right.

Your father and the judges
were furious

when I read her name
instead of yours.

But what could they do?

They couldn't contradict me.

It would have been
an embarrassment to them

and the station.

Such are the hazards
of live television.

I don't understand.

You...

You wanted
Ethel to win after all?

Maybe...

Maybe I truly believe

that Miss Riverdale Teen Queen
can change lives,

even a life as broken
and hopeless as Ethel's.

Or maybe I just
didn't want you to win.

I guess you'll never know.

But know this, Elizabeth,

even with all your do-gooding
and grandstanding,

Ethel would have lost.

Her life is gonna be better
because of me.

You remember that.

No matter what happens next.

You can say whatever
you want to me, Mom.

Downplay,

equivocate.

But you did
a decent thing for once.

And I may not understand
the reason why,

but I'm choosing to believe
that deep down,

you are a kind,

caring,

good person.

You think so, do you?

I do.

And I love you.

♪ The hands of time ♪

♪ Keep turning round ♪

♪ Around and round... ♪

Dear Monica Posh...

Dear Sandy Sapphire...

Dear Coral Peasebottom...

Dear Bitsy Block...

Dear Carrie Carryon...

Dear Edith Cupps...

First, let me begin by saying

you are not alone
in this world.

And though
it may not feel like it today,

there is hope
for a better tomorrow.

In fact,
we girls are that hope.