Riverdale (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - Chapter Fifty-Nine: Fast Times at Riverdale High - full transcript

The Farm left me.

The worthy ascended.

Where's my mom and Polly?

Gone. Everyone is.

I'm Charles, your brother.

It's vital that
we find your mom ASAP.

Is there anything
we can do to help?

Thought you might ask.

Welcome home, Jay-Jay.

We want your father, not you.

Understood, Agent Ardelia.



You're under arrest.

For what?

For conducting illegal activities
at your establishments.

Hermione Lodge, you're under arrest
for conspiracy to commit murder.

Your own husband's.

This is what I got when I asked
my dad about that stupid game.

I've been thinking about making
some changes to this place, Mad Dog.

- I want you to help me run it.
- Oh, yeah.

Fred Andrews will always
be a part of Riverdale.

I love you so much, Dad.

After Mr. Andrews' funeral,

the rest of summer vacation
passed in a surreal haze.

Betty, Veronica, and I spent as
much time as we could with Archie.

We had dinner
at Pop's every night.



And every day you could tell he
was getting better and better.

I'm not saying
he wasn't still heartbroken,

the entire town was,

but my pal Archie's a fighter.

And by the last day
of summer vacation,

while the football field was
being mowed for the new season,

and the school floors
were being buffed to a shine,

and banners for the first dance

of the year were being hung,

Archie was doing
what he does best.

You know, Mad Dog,
I was thinking.

School starts tomorrow.

What if you came with me?

Why would I do that?

I don't know,
to get your diploma.

Don't you want it?

Hell yeah.

Okay, then this is your chance.

Isn't your younger brother
gonna be a freshman?

I don't know, Red.

After everything
I've lived through,

I don't think going back to
textbooks and cafeteria politics

- is really my scene.
- Yeah. It's not mine either.

But getting that diploma is what my
dad wanted, so I'm going to do it.

Look, all I'm saying is,
we could do it together.

Hell, you could even
try out for the Bulldogs.

Ooh, a little pigskin.

So, Mom missed
another check-in with you?

Yes.

But like I said, don't panic.

This isn't the first time she's
been late with the reports.

Well, Charles,

what if that means
she's been found out?

Listen, until she contacts us,

you should just focus on
being a high school student.

I'll reach out
if anything changes.

Now that your parents'
court date has been set,

you need to make a decision.

Are you testifying on behalf of your
mother? Or your father? Or both?

Or neither.

I can be Switzerland.

At the very minimum, I recommend

you issue
a statement of support.

The press will want to know
where you stand with...

No comment.

That's my statement.

Now if you'll
excuse me, Mr. Sowerberry,

I have some last-minute school
supply shopping I need to do.

Well, Jay-Jay,

which one for
the first day of school?

Rebellious white after Labor Day

or my signature red?

I agree 100%.

You know, I really can't imagine

a better way to spend our
last night of summer vacation.

Isn't it crazy?

In just nine months,
life as we know it will be over.

No more high school.

No more Blue and Gold.

No more heart-to-hearts
at the lockers.

Oh, B, don't be sad.

I'm sorry, guys.

I can't help but think
life goes by so fast.

And none of us are very good
at stopping to savor it.

But tonight, we will be.

Mmm-hmm.

I think
that's our cue, Archiekins.

- Archie?
- Hmm?

I forgot to set the alarm.
Get up.

We're gonna be late.

- You guys, wake up.
- Hmm?

We're gonna be late for the first
day of senior year. Hurry up.

Oh, my God.

- You're late.
-

And you are?

I'm Principal Weatherbee's
replacement, Mr. Honey.

We apologize for the tardiness,

Mr. Honey,
it won't happen again.

I don't know what kind of a ship

Waldo Weatherbee
was running around here,

but things are going to be
different this year.

We'll have order.

Discipline.

Consequences.

Now get out of my sight.

Okay, he sets up
the bubble screen for you,

you catch...

Bam!

- You run like hell.
- Hmm.

You're one of the fastest
we got, Mantle.

Coach...

Any chance we can make room
for one more Bulldog?

Well, lineup's pretty much set.

- You looking to play?
- Definitely.

If you'll have me
on the team, sir.

So, what's your name?

Munroe.

Munroe Moore.

Come out to practice,
show us what you got.

For sure. I'll be there.

This is gonna be
the best season ever.

I'm not too late, am I?

To sign up for, uh...

I don't know, I was thinking,
maybe an arts reporter?

Kevin...

Betty...

um, I'm also here because...

I've been doing
a lot of work on myself,

ever since I was left behind
by the Farm,

and it's helped me
to realize that

I don't...
I don't need the Farm...

to make me feel whole, but I...

I do need my friends.

Especially my former
best friend.

I am...

so sorry

for the way I treated you

while I was under Edgar's spell.

Oh, you mean like

when you dragged me by my
ankles to get a lobotomy?

Yeah. I...

I'm most ashamed of that.

I hope that I can show you
how much I've changed.

And I hope...

that I prove to you
that you can trust me again.

Um, I...

I'm so, so sorry, Betty.

Just fill out
an application, Kev,

and then we'll see.

Jughead Jones,

please report
to the Principal's Office.

Jughead Jones
to the Principal's Office.

Am I in trouble again?

No.

In fact, you have a visitor.

I'm Mr. Chipping.
It's nice to meet you,

Jughead.

Nice to meet you, too.

Over the summer you submitted a
short story to a writing contest?

Yeah. I didn't win.

Yeah, I know.
I was one of the judges.

And I was very impressed
with your voice.

And while I couldn't
sway my fellow judges,

I can offer you an opportunity

to come study writing with me.

I am a teacher
at Stonewall Prep.

You want me to transfer to
Stonewall Prep?

It's a tremendous offer,
Mr. Jones.

I'm good.

But thank you for the visit
and for liking my story.

My good news of the day is,

Mrs. Burble said
I'm a shoo-in for Harvard.

I mean, obviously.

Damn.

I guess I better start looking
at community colleges in...

Where's Harvard?

- Veronica!
- Do you think your mother

really tried to have
your father killed?

- Back off.
- -Now that that the court dates have been set,

- whose side will you choose?
- Oh, hell, no.

I am not having
my senior year ruined

by a bunch of
bloodsucking paparazzi.

Screw it.

Archie...

So much for a quiet senior year.

Mr. Honey,
thank you for meeting with us.

I, Cheryl Blossom,
as Student Body President,

and Antoinette Topaz

as Acting Student Body
Vice-President,

would like to personally
welcome you to Riverdale High.

Thank you, ladies.

I was actually going to
reach out to you,

regarding that Back to School
Dance that you've organized.

It's canceled.

For why?

At the last student dance,
multiple students were murdered.

Yes.

But that's exactly why
we need this dance,

to heal.

Mr. Honey,

if I may speak
from personal experience,

the Back to School Dance,
after my brother Jason's death,

provided much needed catharsis.

Hmm. Well, I disagree.

Now, I will only
repeat myself once.

There will be
no Back to School dance.

Huddle up, guys.

All right, Munroe,
let's see if we can catch them napping.

- On one. Ready?
- Break!

Watch your man!

Attaboy, Reggie! Don't give 'em
an ounce of daylight, all right?

Come on. You hear me?

Blue, 34.

Blue, 34.

Down. Set. Hut!

Come on!

Hey!

Get over here.

Now!

Get over here!

What are you doing?

That guy just made you
look like a damned fool.

He's fast.

It's unacceptable.

That was
an embarrassing display.

Go out there. Come on, man.

Show me somethin'.

What the hell?

Oh, you have
got to be kidding me.

Vixens!

This pervert was taking
pictures of us while we changed.

Collecting photos for your sad,
pubescent spank bank, are you?

No! No.

he would pay 500 bucks
for a photo of Veronica.

How am I supposed to
say no to that?

You ust say it, you worm.

Nice job out there, Mad Dog.

Thanks.

It's Munroe, actually.

Oh, my bad.
I thought it was Mad Dog.

Or is that just
what they called you in jail?

It was juvie.

And your boy Archie
was right there with me.

Look, is there a problem, guys?

No, bro, we're cool.

But settle a bet.

In prison showers, is it true what
they say about dropping the soap?

He's not worth it, dude.
Trust me.

What the hell is wrong with you?

What do you think, Andrews?

I've been captain of the
Bulldogs since sophomore year.

I don't need some ex-con who showed
up last-minute stealing my thunder.

Look, I saw your dad giving you
a hard time, but man up, Reg.

You're supposed to be captain.

- Hey.
- -Hey.

Jug, you know Mr. Chipping.

He was just telling me about
an offer that he made you.

Yeah. Uh...

My answer still hasn't changed.

I'm sorry, Mr. Chipping,
but I can't go to your school.

If this is about money,
I got a few bucks socked away.

No. It's not just about money.

Boy, look me
in the eye and tell me

you don't want to go to a school
that recognizes your talent.

Jug, how about this?

How about you come take a tour,
see the place for yourself,

and then make the decision.

- I know. I... I just don't want to...
- You're taking the damn tour.

Have a seat.

Charles, I'm back.

They ran out of fortune
cookies, if you can believe it.

Charles?

Wait. What?

Is this what you do
when I'm not around, Betty?

You read classified information?

When were you gonna tell me that
you had Kevin under surveillance?

I wasn't.

From the get-go, I suspected Kevin
hadn't fully cut ties with the Farm.

I started monitoring his phone
activity, and it turns out

he's been texting with
Fangs Fogarty.

I'm...

I mean, I was hoping that
Kevin was done

with the Farm.

It seemed like he was done.

This might be
a blessing in disguise.

We could use the relationship
to our advantage.

In his texts,

Kevin keeps pushing
to meet in person,

but Fangs has been
holding him off, saying

he can't risk it unless he has
something useful to offer in return.

So...

What if we
accidentally let slip...

Some fake intel about our
investigation in front of Kevin?

Exactly.

Something that'll lure
Fangs out of hiding.

The first step is to
develop Kevin as an asset.

Think you can do that?

100%.

Cheryl?

Oh, you scared me.

What were you doing in there?

I was...

praying.

Since when are you religious?

I was looking for some divine
guidance on how to handle this

discord with Mr. Honey,

and the spirits didn't fail to
deliver a hellaciously simple idea.

Instead of throwing
a Back to School Dance,

we are hosting
a Back to School party

right here at Thistlehouse.

Your name may be Honey,
but I will always be the queen bee.

You have no power over me.

Hey, are you Forsythe?

Yeah.

Bret Weston Wallis.

Mr. Chipping asked me
to roll out the red carpet.

You can just call me Jughead.

I prefer Forsythe.

Who's your friend?

Betty Cooper.

Cute. Very...

Sweet Valley High.

Let me give you some stats.

Our faculty holds 132 master's
degrees and 28 doctoral degrees,

which sounds impressive,

but the truth is, most of our
teachers are hopelessly out of touch.

Except for Mr. Chipping,
he's cool.

And I'm not just saying that
because he's coming right behind me.

Mr. Chipping, how's it hanging?

Bret, don't let me
interrupt you.

But I wanted to invite Jughead
to sit in on a salon with us.

If I'm not mistaken,
we're focusing on Moby-Dick tomorrow?

Oh, great.
That's one of my favorites.

See you tomorrow, Mr. Jones.

Definitely.

Betty, you can come, too.

I bet you've got a lot to say
about Moby-Dick.

No. No, I don't.

And I think I've gotten my fill
of this place already, so...

It is a lot to digest.

Speaking of which,
in the cafeteria

we've got vegan, keto vegan,
raw keto vegan...

I don't like drama,

Ms. Lodge.

Neither do I,

Mr. Honey.

published about you this
morning, promising drama.

I'm assuming you've read that.

No.

I've been avoiding the tabloids
these past few months.

An unnamed inside source that worked
at your nightclub is claiming that

you, in fact,

are responsible for the crimes that
your father allegedly committed.

Fascinating.

Your point, Mr. Honey?

I was just wondering
if you shouldn't

take a sabbatical
from Riverdale High,

until you can get all these
personal matters of yours

sorted.

Oh, man...

I have missed
hanging out with you, Betty.

I was thinking back
to freshman year.

You would talk about
crushing on Archie...

and I'd talk about whatever
weird Grind'Em hook-up I'd just had.

- Or not had.
- I remember.

Kev, I think the reason
I was cold earlier...

I mean...

as you know, my mom and
Polly are still at the Farm.

And my half-brother is
investigating them.

Yeah. Um...

- Charles?
- Yeah.

- Right? Yeah.
- Anyways, today, finally,

there was a break in the case.

Really? What?

The FBI found a witness who's
willing to testify against the Farm.

Hmm.

Charles says it may
finally break open the case.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

That is...

Cheers.

Kevin?

Fangs, hey.

Can I at least hug you?

I... I miss you so much.

I've missed you too.

But first you said you had
some information for me?

Yeah. There's, uh...

There's a witness.

The FBI found someone who's ready
to come forward against Edgar.

Who's the witness?

I... I don't... I don't know.

I didn't get a name.

But...

Information's not the only reason
why you wanted to meet me, right?

Kevin, Edgar and the rest of the
Farm don't think you can be trusted.

Of course, I mean,
if you found out who the witness was...

I mean,
that might change things.

Get the name...

and then we can be together.

Uh, yeah. I'll try.

Good.

You know how to reach me.

Betty...

You are so messed up, Kevin.

Reggie,
Mr. Honey is riding my ass

About me. About La Bonne Nuit.

An "inside source"
with "intimate knowledge"

of my businesses claims that I'm
the criminal kingpin, not my father.

Was it you, Reggie?

Are you the "inside source"?

Is that why you're hiding
behind those shades?

I didn't say a word
to the press...

Oh, my God. Reggie, your eye.

But maybe you should ask
your old man.

So? Did Reggie admit
to leaking the story?

No.

He didn't do it.

Archie...

Reggie had a black eye.

And it wasn't
the first time, either.

From practice, you mean?

No.

No. I think...

No. I know.

Reggie's dad hits him.

Kevin,

you lied to me.

You told me that
you wanted to be my friend,

and then you go out
into the woods

for some secret tryst
with your cult boyfriend.

I'm... I'm sorry

for... for everything.

I truly do
miss being your friend.

You betrayed Betty
after she gave you a chance.

Yeah. I wasn't thinking clearly,
I just wanted to see Fangs.

No. No. You wanted to
trade information,

- so you can get back in the good graces of the Farm.
- No!

- You're still one of them.
- I'm not, I swear.

I'm not a part of anything.

And you... You, Betty,

you ignored me all summer, okay?

And I understand,

but I was alone.

At least Fangs texted me back.

He's all I have.

Can we have a word?

He's useless.
We got to cut him loose.

No, Charles. I...

I believe Kevin, okay?

I saw them in the woods.

I think he'll help us.

No. We're not going to get
anywhere with him.

He's traumatized.

He's lonely.

Listen, I'm sorry, Betty.

We'll find another way
to get Alice back.

Let's go, Reggie!

Blue, 18.

Blue, 18.

Down. Set. Hut!

Get it. Get it. Get it!

All, come on!

All right, guys, hit the shower.
Practice is over.

Hey! Get over here.

What the hell are you doing?

I had it, Dad. It just slipped.

It slipped?

It won't happen again,
I promise.

If it does, so help me,

- I'll...
- What?

You're gonna hit him again?

Give him another black eye?

What the hell
have you been saying?

Nothing, Dad.

Andrews, this is none
of your business.

Reggie works his ass off on this
field while you stand here and yell.

We all have to listen to it.

So, get the hell out of here.

Go. Or I'll
throw you out myself.

Back off, Andrews. I mean it.

Reggie, your dad has no right
to treat you like this.

- Hey.
- Hey, hey. Knock it off, you two.

- Hey. Hey!
- Knock it off.

- Knock it off.
- Dead to me, Andrews.

Dead!

Go.

Go!

Hey, Forsythe.

Guys, this is that kid
from Riverdale.

Forsythe, this is Donna,
Jonathan, Joan.

Good afternoon,
seekers of knowledge!

Why are we not sitting?

Now then, Moby-Dick.

Hmm?

It's well done.

Obviously.

But it highlights a problem
that I have with the syllabus.

Do we really need to
hear this narrative again?

Right. Because the only authors
we're allowed to like now

are those who
lived an unblemished life.

I'm fine with that.

Guys, guys, guys.
Let's get back on topic.

Now, what do you think
that the whale symbolizes?

Nothing.

Care to elaborate
on that, Mr. Jones?

Well, it's pretty well-established
that Melville hated allegory.

And he's quoted as saying
that his biggest fear was.

Moby-Dick would be
seen as a fable.

Any rebuttals?

Breaking out the blonde wig,
I see.

Yes, that's the only way
I can get around

without being harassed
by the paparazzi.

But then...

you'd know all about that,
wouldn't you?

Oh, are you receiving
some blowback

from lying through your teeth
to get me arrested?

How unfortunate.

Why did you leak the story?

Was it a desperate ploy
to get me to come see you?

Mija, I'm not paying
for your crimes.

I merely told the truth.

I told the world what you are,

a Lodge,

through and through.

Deal with it.

Whoo!

My esteemed guests,
may I have your attention please?

Students of Riverdale,
we have a new enemy in our midst.

This killjoy is our new
principal, Mr. Honey.

However, never fear.

I, as your
student body president,

will make sure that he is
beheaded by Homecoming,

or my name
isn't Cheryl Marjorie Blossom.

- Your drinks, ladies.
- Thank you.

So...

What's this I hear
about you transferring?

Jug is being recruited
by Stonewall Prep.

How was the salon today,
by the way?

Shocked to say, I actually
kind of enjoyed it.

And the kids had
actually read Moby-Dick.

Jughead,

there is no school
more nihilistic

and/or privileged
than Stonewall.

Besides, why would you want to
leave your lovely girlfriend here?

Jug, we would make
anything work.

Okay?

But I would miss you.

Trust me when I say,

you would be miserable.

I'm just trying to keep
an open mind, is all.

Hmm.

Excuse me?

What are you doing down here?

- What's up?
- This hallway is off-limits.

The locked door at the top of
the stairs should've been a hint.

Yeah. The line to the
bathroom was too long.

Was looking for another one.

Then get thee to the barn
with the other animals.

Kev...

Hey.

Hey.

I'm sorry
that we interrogated you.

It's okay. I get it.

You're trying to save your mom.

Yeah.

What I'm about to tell you

puts everything on the line,

but I believe in you.

What are you talking about?

My mom isn't just at the Farm,

she's undercover at the Farm.

She's been sending us messages all
summer, but she stopped.

And I'm worried that
she may be in trouble.

Oh, my God, Betty...

And I know that you can turn
around and tell Fangs everything,

but I'm choosing to believe
that our friendship

runs deeper
than Edgar's brainwashing.

It... It...

It does.

Kev...

I need you to ask Fangs
to meet with you again,

so he can tell you
where Edgar is hiding.

He won't.

He will if you have
information to give him.

Like the name
of the FBI witness,

who doesn't actually exist,
by the way.

But we can give him a fake name.

Like who?

Like Penelope Blossom.

Kev, will you do this?
Will you help me?

Will you help my mom?

Of course, Betty.

Yo.

Who invited you, new guy?

Dude, Reggie, lay off.

Cheryl,

you know this guy?

No, but I certainly don't
object to him being here,

which is more
than I can say for you.

So what you're saying is...

Mad Dog here crashed.

Wonderful. And now
the po-po has arrived.

Party's over.

Everybody go home.

Go home. Move.

Jughead, boy, you better not be
drinking whatever's in that cup.

Sheriff Jones.

Someone get this man a beer.

You want to see the inside of
the drunk tank tonight, Mantle?

I'll take him home, Mr. Jones.

What are the charges,
Sheriff Jones,

if one might ask?

Someone called the station
about the noise.

Impossible.

All of Thistlehouse's neighbors
are either deaf or dead.

Who exactly made
this absurd complaint?

Someone named, uh...

Honey.

Party's over, Cheryl.

Reg, I think I already know,

but how did you get
the black eye?

What do you want me to say?

Huh?

That my dad hits me?

That he beats the crap out of
me over the stupidest things?

That he's been doing it for
as long as I can remember?

I'm sorry, Reg. I really am.

I was always so jealous of the
relationship you had with your dad.

No matter what you wanted to do,

he always stuck by you.

I have no idea
what that feels like.

And when your dad died,

all I kept thinking was,

what if it had been
my old man instead?

Listen, what can we do?

Or what can I do?

You've already done enough, man.

You called him out.

Now, it's on me.

I got to take a stand.

So, what are you thinking?

Bro, are you sure about this?

Sometimes I think he loves
this car more than he does me.

I mean, you could just...
You could talk to him.

I've tried.

He doesn't listen.

It's time he starts to listen.

Holy hell, Reg.

That'll bring this to a head.

It's okay, Archie.
I outweigh him by 50 pounds.

Okay, everyone.

I trust you all completed
your summer reading?

Who wants to read the
first section out loud for us?

Anyone?

All righty then.

I'll start and...

you follow along.

"Understanding Literature,."

Chapter Six.

English Drama.

One of the great works of the
Elizabethan Age, Romeo and Juliet,

is a tragic romance,

"emblematic
of both Shakespeare's..."

I can't take this.

"Early period..."

Come with me, right now.

"And of western drama

in the 16th and 17th centuries."

Okay. What's going on?

You should go to
Stonewall Prep, Jug.

I hate saying that,

but it's the chance of a lifetime
and you should take it. Okay?

So, you should go
before I change my mind.

But what about...

Don't worry about us,
we'll make it work.

We've been through way worse.

Just go pack up your stuff.

I'll handle
everything here, okay?

Go. Run.

How'd your old man
react to his car?

Uh...

It... It did what
it was supposed to do.

It got us talking.

And I said some things
he needed to hear.

And I...

I don't think he'll be coming
around to practices anymore.

Bros?

Bros for life.

Okay.

Fine. You win.

You want to know where I stand?

All right.

I will give my first, last,

and only press conference
on the subject of my parents

tonight at
La Bonne Nuit speakeasy,

after a special performance.

I'm no stranger to scandal.

That's what it means
to be a Lodge.

I love my parents.

And because I love them,

I trusted them.

Yes,

I did them.

I did them under duress.

Because my father threatened me.

And like the good,
dutiful daughter,

I did what I was told

by Hiram Lodge.

You want to know who I'm standing
with in the upcoming trials?

Neither of them.

From this day forward,
I stand only with and for...

myself.

Is that your
Harvard application?

It is.

But I'm thinking of making a
change before sending it in.

The Lodge name is...

tainted.

Like Madoff. Or Corleone.

But my mother's
maiden name, Gomez?

I think I could work with that.

So, I would be dating
Veronica Gomez now?

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah? What's she like?

I don't know.

We're going to find out.

Why, what's the matter,
Ms. Bell?

Just be careful, Cheryl.

Golly, what a mess.

Hope you aren't allergic,
Mr. Honey.

Toodles.

What's happening?
Have you heard from Mom?

No.

Maybe I was wrong,

maybe we should
roll the dice with Kevin.

Um...

I already have.

I gave him the name
of our fake witness,

Penelope Blossom.

Betty...

You didn't say anything
about Alice, did you?

You revealed the name

of an active undercover FBI
agent to a screwed-up kid? Why?

Because I trust Kevin. Okay?

I wanted to be honest with him.

- He will find out where Edgar...
- Betty, it worked.

Kev, you're back.

- Hey.
- Yeah.

I, uh... I connected with Fangs,

told him about Penelope Blossom,

and he led me to where
the Farm is staying.

It's an abandoned motel
beyond the maple barrens.

Okay. Did you see my mom?
Is she okay?

Uh, I didn't. I'm sorry.

But I did see Edgar,

and, Betty, he's armed.

There were guns, and
he's building something, and...

Edgar's digging in.

He's getting ready for war.

Well, we have to go.

We have to get in there
and save our mom.

Well, well, well.

Do I look like a jerk?

No, you look like a gentleman.

Stonewall's not too far,
and I'll be back every weekend.

Hey...

I'm glad you accepted
Chipping's offer.

You're a sort of
a legacy there, you know?

What do you mean?

Well, your grandpa,
Forsythe the First,

actually went to Stonewall Prep for a
couple of months until he dropped out.

What happened?

Why didn't you
tell me this sooner?

It's ancient history.

But he quit at everything,
including me.

He went out for a pack of
smokes, and he never came back.

Anyway...

I didn't mention it because

I wanted this to be
your decision,

without my old man's shadow
hanging over you.

It's a chance for you
to do something good,

for yourself,
and I'm proud of you, son.

It's going to be a good year.

Really good year.

Jughead!

Jughead!

Jug!

Jug!

Jughead!

Jughead!