Riverdale (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 19 - Chapter Seventy-Six: Killing Mr. Honey - full transcript

After receiving a letter from the University of Iowa asking him to submit a story, Jughead works on a twisted tale about the gang's revenge fantasy against Principal Honey for all the ways he's ruined their senior year.

Forget art imitating life.

Here we had a case of
art imitating death.

The snuff film that showed Jason Blossom

being murdered by dear old dad...

in a bizarre recreation of it.

Months of static shots
of houses, now this.

Why change the pattern?

Our Voyeur is trying to
recreate himself into an auteur.

No longer satisfied with merely
documenting our daily lives, it seems.

Between this tape and the
one of Betty killing me,

it seems like he's trying to
painstakingly recreate our deaths.



Or near deaths.

He's trying to blur the line
between fact and fiction.

Is it a warning?

- Could be a rehearsal.
- For what?

An actual murder.

So our auteur got a copy of the
Jason Blossom murder video and then...

pulls a Gus Van Sant
and tries to remake it?

Where did he get the
original video though?

Blue Velvet Video.

Is there anything else
we can do at this point?

Wait for another tape.

Keep going through the videos that

we confiscated from the Scarlet Suite.

Okay, well, I'm gonna have to
let you two fellows handle that



because I have to finish
proofing the yearbook tonight.

The most high school
thing you've ever said.

Here it is, Mr. Honey.

Riverdale High's yearbook as requested.

There will be no yearbook
this year, Ms. Cooper.

Sorry, what? Why?

The deadline for the
printers was two days ago.

Yes, but I called the printers

and they said if we give
it to them this afternoon,

the yearbooks would
be ready by graduation.

Yes, but I told you that I
would need to approve every page.

And I will not be able to
do that by this afternoon.

I pulled all-nighters to get this done

and because I'm two days late,

you're punishing all of my classmates?

How is that fair?

I'm sorry, Ms. Cooper,

but my decision is final.

- Hello?
- Is this Forsythe Pendleton Jones?

Depends who's asking.

My name is Dina Letum.

I'm the admissions coordinator
at the University of Iowa.

Do you have a moment to
talk about your application?

Breaking news, everybody.

So the University of Iowa

has one of the best writing
programs in the country.

I applied for spring,

but then they told me they
could take me as early as fall.

You're a good writer, bro.

Wait.

So this acceptance is conditional?

Yeah. They require additional materials,

which means I need another story.

But this could be my redemption
after that whole Stonewall hell.

The only problem is

the well of my creative
unconscious is tapped out.

Well, you could write a
monster story about Mr. Honey.

I am proud of you though, Jug.

What did he do?

Honey is refusing to
publish the yearbook.

Our legacy.

The written record of
our last four years.

Our friendships, our
loves, clubs, dances.

Bee, if it's about money, I'm
happy to help pay for the printing.

Thank you, Vee, but
it's... the principal of it.

Mr. Honey has been on
our case since day one.

Do you remember when he threatened
us on our first day back?

And how many of us are already
banned from going to prom?

Fangs, Reggie, Toni and I are
all banned because of Ticklegate.

And I'm out because of that bogus

quiz show cheating scandal.

Lest we not forget my transcendent
rendition of Cherry Bomb

which got Veronica,
the Vixens and myself

barred from the promenade.

So, literally the only
people going to prom are...

- You wanna go to prom with me, Jug?
- Oh, I'd be honored.

But I'm not putting out.

Let the fan fiction begin.

Cousin Betty, I share your outrage.

Something must be done to
stop this heinous villain.

Like what? Every time we
make a move against him,

he hits us back.

He's not letting Archie walk
with the rest of us at graduation.

He's a fiend.

Although, one thing that
would stop Mr. Honey...

is if we killed him.

Or scared him enough to leave town.

I mean, it would be so easy.

Mr. Honey works late on Tuesdays.

He usually leaves around 9:00.

Yeah, but wouldn't he recognize us?

Good point, Arch.

Okay, let's say we wear bunny masks

and Stonewall Prep jackets.

I could sneak up and knock him out.

Take him down.

Then we tie him up and stuff
him into the trunk of a car.

What do you say, Reggie?

Can we borrow Bella for this?

After the way Honey trashed
her on Halloween night?

Bella!

What happened to my car?

Such a shame when someone
disrespects your property, isn't it?

Hell yeah.

Where the hell do we take him?

My family still owns
that cabin in Fox Forest.

Then we take him there and
make him think he's gonna die.

And I know just the way we can do that.

Veronica, do you remember when we
maple-boarded my monster of a mumsie?

We're letting you go,

but you're leaving town tonight.

And if you don't, we'll keep doing this.

And we won't stop until you're dead.

You're insane.

Fine. More syrup please, then
we'll start digging his grave.

No, no, no.

At least that's one way
we could get our revenge.

We could do that, for sure.

Or we could pull off
a classic senior prank,

the likes of which
will never be forgotten.

And I've got just the one for Mr. Honey.

It's an oldie, but a goodie.

Miss Bell, could you come in here?

Miss Bell!

Looks like we won this round.

Maybe.

Though I still think
we should've killed him.

Jug, what are you doing?

I'm writing a new story for Iowa.

You gave me the idea actually.

It's called Killing Mr. Honey.

Great title.

It's perfect. I get to write something

for my Iowa submission while
simultaneously working out

our collective revenge
fantasy against Mr. Honey.

I printed some pages on your
night table if you wanna read.

Kidnapping Mr. Honey was
supposed to be a joke, a prank.

Payback for how he
terrorized them all year long.

Where are his glasses?

Crap, they must've fallen along the way.

No one was supposed to die.

I can barely see without my glasses.

So you might as well take
those ridiculous masks off.

Shut the hell up.

I know exactly who you are, Mr. Mantle.

Mr. Andrews and Mr. Jones.

And clearly you've
partnered with Ms. Lodge,

Ms. Blossom and of course...

Ms. Cooper.

Yo, what the hell are you doing?

He said he knew who we were.

Actually, I didn't know, Mr. Mantle.

I suspected it.

But thanks to your stupidity,

my suspicions have been confirmed.

Dude, he played you like a cheap violin.

You just blew our cover, you idiot.

You think that's funny?

You think you're better than me?

- Reggie!
- Hey, Reggie!

Come on, come on. Just stop it.

- You're gonna kill him. Stop it, Reggie.
- All right.

Tell me, Mr. Mantle,

is that what your father does to you?

Hey, shut up! Hey, Reggie!

We're leaving you now, Mr. Honey,

but we'll be back soon.

And you shut your damn mouth
or we're gonna let him back in.

Wow, that's dark.

Is it too dark?

No, I love it.

Well, duty calls.

Charles wants us to
meet him at his office.

Is there any way you
can take point on that?

I wanna continue working on this.

Sure.

Once Mr. Honey was secure at the cabin,

we took shifts watching him.

Cheryl was up first.

Have one of you found them? My glasses?

TBH, I don't know.

It's not too late, Ms. Blossom.

You can make this right.

We are making it right.

By kidnapping me.

How do you think this ends?

Betty and Jughead have a plan.

Huh.

Well, I've never taken
you to be a follower.

Yes. Well,

you have given us something
we've never had before.

A common enemy.

You were cruel to me, Mr. Honey.

You barred me and all
of my Vixens from prom.

You locked Ms. Appleyard in her office.

She had a panic attack and quit.

What was I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do now?

Hmm.

Agree to make a video...

giving us permission to go to prom

and promising that you
won't punish us for this

or anything ever again.

Might I suggest an
alternative, Ms. Blossom?

Release me.

Call the police.

Tell them it was a...

it was a school prank
that went horribly awry.

You'll be punished, of course.

But at least your lives won't be ruined.

So you won't make that video then?

Absolutely not.

Fine.

Then it's your funeral, Mr. Honey.

Mrs. Klump received this
new videotape this morning.

Oh, my God. Another recreation?

Where did you get the actual footage?

Finished going through the videos
that we confiscated from Blue Velvet.

Turns out Jason Blossom's snuff film

wasn't the only
contraband that David had.

Where the hell is he getting these from?

Next, it was Archie and Veronica's

turn to check on their captive.

To see if he'd had a change of heart.

Mr. Honey. Mr. Honey.

Does he have a pulse?

Here, let me check.

Is he okay?

Is he alive?

- You're late.
- And you are?

I'm Principal Weatherbee's
replacement, Mr. Honey.

Things are gonna be different this year.

We'll have order, discipline.

- Is he okay, is he alive?
- No.

He's not.

He's dead.

RIP, Mr. Honey.

Brace yourselves, bitches.

I just saw our most hated foe,
Honey, entering his office.

Was his ass still glued to his chair?

I heard they had to use
turpentine to unstick it.

He was smelling particularly odious.

Students of Riverdale High.

Unless the person or persons responsible

for yesterday's so-called
prank step forward,

prom is officially cancelled.

I knew it.

I knew your juvenile antics
were going to end in tragedy.

Turn thyself in, Reginald, immediately.

No way.

I pranked Mr. Honey
on behalf of all of us.

And for the record...

I did not prank alone.

Oh, God. And who would be
stupid enough to help you?

- Kevin.
- Archie!

- What's the big deal?
- It's not like any of us were allowed to go.

We were going to crash
it, you dotty pole.

Now there's nothing left to crash.

And I refuse to be the
only sitting president

in the history of Riverdale
High who didn't sponsor a prom.

Okay, everyone chill.

Reggie's not the enemy
here. Mr. Honey is.

If we all turn against
each other now, we all lose.

If we want the prom back, we
need to think strategically.

Betty, what should we do?

We research our enemy,

determine if there are any skeletons
in his closet we can exploit.

I'll take point on that.

In the meantime...

Nobody panic.

I don't understand.

I didn't even hit him that hard.

Why did you even have to
hit him at all, Reggie?

You were the last one to see him alive.

I didn't do anything.

He was fine when I left him.

He must've toppled over
in his chair or something.

We wanted to scare Mr.
Honey, not kill him.

Well, he's dead.

There's no walking back from it.

Jug is right. What's done is done.

The only question is,

are we going to let
this terrible accident,

and yes, I am calling it
an accident, which it was,

ruin our lives, our future?

I hope not.

I'm going to Highsmith College.

I'm going to Barnard.

I'm going to Yale.

I'm going to the Naval Academy.

I'm trying to go to
the University of Iowa.

And I'm going to Riverdale
Community College.

Maybe.

All right, then.

Who here has experience in
getting rid of a dead body?

The hell. Am I the only one that

hasn't gotten rid of a dead body before?

No time like the present, bro.

You're not gonna believe this.

I did some sleuthing on
our least favorite tyrant

and it turns out there's a pattern

to his reign of terror.

Honey has cancelled prom at
every high school he's worked at.

For different reasons, but the
end result is always the same.

Geez. He's like the
Grinch that stole prom.

What are we gonna do with this?

We share this key
information with our troops

and dispatch them to
the appropriate parties.

Hi, honey. How was school?

Well, Mom, now that you mention it...

Mr. Honey cancelled prom.

That's not even the worst of it.

He's doing it out of spite.

And look, I'm not one for school dances,

but this one means a lot.

Nana, it's our senior year.

And I for one did not
suffer for four years

to have this one magical night

taken away by some hateful he-shrew.

This is like a personal
vendetta with him.

We can't let Mr. Honey
take this away from us.

Not after everything we've been through.

Mr. Jones, Mom, we need this.

Mr. Honey. As concerned parents,

we are here to demand
that you reinstate prom

and you re-invite those students

you so rudely barred from attending.

That won't be possible.

You see it's my job to
prepare these students

to be upstanding citizens of the world,

and their behavior
needs to reflect that.

So far, it has not.

Oh, I'll show you some behavior.

Mr. Honey, Mary Andrews
here, attorney-at-law.

May I bring to your attention

the case of Murray et al vs.
The Greendale School District?

A small town principal cancelled prom

and parents of said small town sued him

for psychological damage, and won.

I'm a very good lawyer, Mr. Honey.

And might I add, as
the mayor of Riverdale,

I have a direct line to Governor
Dooley and the Board of Education.

And I'd hate for them to look into
and possibly revoke your credentials.

And RIVW has been hungry

for a gripping, public interest story

that would make nationwide headlines.

"Principal Cancels Prom Out of Spite."

I think would surely fit the bill.

And what will you two do to me?

Oh, we're just the muscle.

Well, I am sorry, but
my decision is final.

Actually it's not. As
President of the PTA,

I have a right to demand
a vote on this matter.

Perhaps, if all of us,

say over the age of 20, would
like to adjourn to my office,

we might discuss this as adults.

Yes, let's do that.

And as student body
president, I'll be joining.

Fine.

And so the dragon that
had been terrorizing

the halls of Riverdale High was beaten.

Vanquished.

All that remained was
giving it a proper burial.

Hurry up!

It's almost dawn.

How deep does the grave have to be?

Deep. It's Riverdale.

What's shocking is, how many times

have we said these
very words in real life?

I know, isn't it chilling?

Hobo. Bride of Hobo.

As student body president, I
have an announcement to make.

Although, I believe this proclamation
calls for a more festive setting.

Classmates...

Mothers, fathers...

Nana...

Prom is officially back on!

So, I'd like to propose a toast.

To generations united,

together, we have proven victorious.

To all of us,

and to a senior prom
we will never forget.

Yay! Cheers!

And if I may speak for the grown-ups.

Yup.

We're just so very, very proud of you.

And the thoughtful, intelligent
young adults you've become.

You kids have been through a lot.

Much more than we did, when
we were at Riverdale High.

And we may not say it enough but,

you mean the world to us.

And, although it may
not always seem like it,

we have your best interests at heart.

You worked hard, you
deserve to celebrate.

My boy is gonna be the first
Jones man to go to college.

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

They were supposed to feel relief,

Honey was dead, and buried.

And they'd gotten away
with it. They were free.

Free to go back to talking about
college and homework... And prom...

So, in terms of a theme for prom...

- Hm?
- I was thinking,

"Old Hollywood."

I was going to suggest
F. Scott Fitzgerald,

The Beautiful and Damned, but,

old Hollywood glamour works as well.

Now, how many limos should we get?

How can you talk about prom and
limos after what we did last night?

Hey, Reggie, shut the hell up right now.

All I'm saying is last
night was majorly messed up.

- Reg...
- Guys, I was just in the front office

and I saw Ms. Bell
talking to the police.

What? What were they talking about?

You know, how Principal
Honey's gone missing?

Well, some Adventure Scouts
were camping in the woods,

found a pair of glasses that
might belong to Mr. Honey.

So now the police are
suspecting foul play.

They're canceling class,

sending out a search
party. Should we go sign up?

This is a great complication, Jug.

- You think so?
- Mmm-hmm.

You don't think the Adventure Scouts

finding the glasses is too contrived?

Guys, I was in the office right
now, Mr. Honey asked me to find you.

Said he wanted to see you ASAP.

That's weird.

Charles. Mr. Honey.

What's up, Chuck?

Well, a videotape was delivered
to the school this morning.

I called Agent Smith,

and he told me that the two of you
have been helping him with his case.

I thought you might want to see this.

Be warned, it's extremely unsettling.

Now, it's just the
school's facade at first,

but then...

How long does this go on for?

Hours.

Whoever shot this video covered
every inch of the school.

I mean, every hallway, every classroom,

the gym, the auditorium,
the locker rooms.

But what could it possibly mean?

Because it feels like a...

I don't know, a warning or a...

threat. Wouldn't you agree, Agent Smith?

That's one way to interpret it, yes.

Well, in that case,

seems I have no other option but
to put the school on high alert.

And despite the PTA's
wishes, cancel prom.

If this tape even
suggests the possibility

of violence against any of my students,

every precaution must be taken,

including curbing
extra-curricular activities.

Will you let your friends know,

while I alert your parents?

Mmm-hmm.

- This feels very wrong.
- Completely agree.

We know that our guy has
moved on from simple recordings

and on to re-creations. This
tape feels like he's backtracking.

Or unless he's revisiting themes.

Or it could be a hoax.

I mean, think about it, the
general public does not know

our Voyeur/auteur has moved
on to re-creations, right?

- Correct.
- I'm following you, Jughead.

So, if someone wanted to pretend
to be our auteur and they didn't

have the privileged
information that we do,

they would have shot a video exactly
like the one Mr. Honey was sent.

It's not a coincidence.
Honey wants to cancel prom,

he's conveniently sent a video
that gives him the perfect excuse.

Guys, unless we have conclusive
proof that this videotape was made by

someone other than our original guy,

Honey's well within his
rights to cancel prom.

Well, can we borrow a
copy of Honey's tape?

Sure. Why?

So we can review every second of it.

No, you have a story to write. I
will watch the damn tape. Let's go.

And then, without warning,

their carefully constructed
plan began to unravel.

Thanks to a guilt-ridden Reggie.

Hey, you know what I heard about Honey?

I heard he was hooking
up with a student,

and got run out of town.

Who cares? Guy was a total
perv. Gave me the creeps.

What are you saying?
What are you saying!

That you're glad that he's dead?

Reggie, shut the hell up.

No, that's not what we're saying.

Look, all I'm saying is
the guy was a total weirdo.

If he ran off, who cares, good riddance.

He didn't run off.

They found his glasses.

What's your point?

Dude, Reggie, I'm serious.

Just that, they found his glasses.

But Honey will never
be found 'cause he is...

Shut up. Shut up.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

I'm ordering Chinese, you want Lo Mein?

Yup, and some fried wontons, please.

- Chicken or veggie?
- Oh, hell no.

Charles.

I think we got him.

Agent Smith, Ms. Cooper,
Mr. Jones. May I help you?

Yes, you can tell us
whether or not this is you

in the screengrab from
the video you received.

Is it you holding the
camera in that photo?

I mean, it's only two frames
but it's enough to nail your ass.

If you're suggesting that I'm
sending videotapes around town...

No, not all the tapes, just this one.

You're a copycat, Mr. Honey,
and not a very good one.

Using the Voyeur's MO to
ramp up your personal feud

against me and my friends?

Feud?

I...

I've been trying to protect you.

The only person we need
protection from is you,

Mr. Honey, you're deranged.

I was trying to help you.

To prepare you for a
life outside of Riverdale.

You can justify your
actions all you want

but we already sent copies of
the videos to the school board,

aka, our parents.

So between them and the FBI,

I hope you have a good lawyer.

Guess that's checkmate, Mr. Honey.

Don't mess with us in our own town.

What causes a principal to
hate his students so much?

Was he bullied in high school?

Is his entire career based on revenge?

Well, maybe he should've had sessions

with Mrs. Burble along
with the rest of us.

At least now you can finish your story

without any real-life interruptions.

How close are you to being done?

Oh, close. Reggie just died.

Reggie? Why did Reggie have to die?

It's not right.

Reggie didn't deserve that.

Well, of course he
didn't deserve it, Cheryl.

You need to get ahold of yourself.

Do you understand me?

It's very sad, tragic even,
what happened to Reggie,

but he was out of control.

He couldn't handle himself
when Mr. Honey died.

Died? Are you serious?

Jughead's right, Cheryl.

Reggie was spiraling.

He was drinking.

- Tell her, Arch.
- Yeah.

If hadn't been in the
locker room that time,

I don't know what he would've said.

Fine, but did we have to cut his brakes?

I mean, we murdered out friend.

What are you talking about, Vee?

We didn't cut Reggie's brakes.

His death was an accident.

The truth is he was never
taking care of that car

the way he should've.

Eventually it just caught up with him.

We can't change what happened.

The only thing we can
do is live our lives.

Wow. Are you hearing yourselves?

It's like you actually
believe this crap.

Ronnie, two people are
dead right now. Dead.

And right now the world thinks

that Reggie died from a car accident.

A horrible car accident.

So this ends...

right now, if we all
just stick together.

- Will you do that for me?
- My God.

I knew Betty and Jughead
had a dark streak,

but when did you become
such a monster, Archiekins?

Come on. Don't kid yourself, Veronica.

In this town we're all monsters.

We've always been monsters,
and that includes you, too.

The question is, are we going
to be monsters in college...

or in jail?

Wow.

So we're the monsters.

I kinda just go wherever
the story leads me.

But don't worry I'm gonna
change all of our names

before I submit it to
the University of Iowa.

So no one is going to know the
perverted truth about us... but us.

So, what happens next?

Do Veronica and Cheryl go to the police,

or does your teen angst
body count increase by two?

I honestly don't even know yet.

I'm still trying to decide between some

cautionary morality tale
and a nihilistic dark comedy.

Guys, dead man walking.
Hallway, right now.

That was fast.

Well, Mr. Honey, looks
like the good guys won.

Is that what you think happened here?

Well, you're leaving and we're staying,

so yeah, I'd mark that as a win.

Hmm.

I stand by everything that I've done.

Including the videotape.

Everything that I have done...

is to make this school better, safer,

for you and your classmates.

Because what goes on around here,

murder, mayhem, depravity...

it is not normal.

Well, it's normal to us.

Which is why we had to stop you.

Stop me.

Ms. Cooper...

I saw the writing on the wall days ago

and I lined up my next job.

I am Stonewall Prep's new headmaster.

It seems they cleaned house
and were in need of a...

strong leader to help them
rebuild their reputation.

And my salary, it's...

triple what I've been making here.

All right, you know
what? Screw Mr. Honey.

- He sucks.
- That's right, Archiekins.

I mean, who doctors up

fake evidence just to cancel prom?

And takes away a school's yearbook?

Censors a variety show.

A psycho, that's who.

That man is anything but.

I have been working in that
front office for 50 years.

And in all that time,

I have outlasted eight principals.

And beyond a doubt,

the best, by far...

was Mr. Honey.

Poor Miss Bell,

you've fallen under the monster's spell.

Do any of you have any idea

what that man has done for this school?

This year alone,

he personally arranged
for six low-income students

to go to colleges on full scholarships.

Wait, really?

Also, this year's average GPA

is higher than it's been in decades.

And more seniors will
be going to college

than have since 1956.

Oh, and of course, no students
have died under his watch.

He asked me to mail this for you.

But I don't think I will.

You may wanna read it though

to fully comprehend your actions.

What is it, Jug?

It's a letter written by Mr.
Honey to the University of Iowa.

Are you gonna open it?

Look, it can't be worse than
whatever you're imagining.

What did Mr. Honey say?

Was he trying to screw you over?

Oh, my God.

- I have to change it.
- Change what?

My story, I have to fix it.

The problem with believing
you have all the answers,

is that is blinds you to the truth
that's right before your eyes.

Mr. Honey.

Ronnie, what do we do?

Call 911.

- No if we do that...
- If we don't, he'll die.

Call 911. I'll give him CPR.

Uh, yeah. We need an ambulance.

What the hell happened?

It's okay. The doctors
said Honey's gonna make it.

No, I'm more worried about us.

Okay. What do the police
know? What did you tell them?

The truth.

That this all started
as some stupid prank

and that things got out of hand.

A prank? Do you realize
what you've done?

Yeah, we kept a man from dying.

And ruined our lives.

Reggie's right, you guys just
wrecked everything, our futures,

now none of us are gonna go to college.

Who cares about college?
Don't you guys understand

that we could spend the next 20
years of our lives in Shankshaw...

Shankshaw prison?

Are you listening to yourselves?

Mr. Honey could've died.

We would've been murderers.

Better that than what's
coming next for all of us.

You don't mean that, Betty, do you?

That you would've
preferred Mr. Honey to die?

What made you rewrite it?

Guess I finally realized
what I was saying,

how I was saying it.

I've been reveling in this
town's sickness and I was...

enjoying the suffering
of another person,

even if it was Mr. Honey.

This is about Mr. Honey's letter.

Isn't it?

What does he say in it?

Hey, guys.

Hey, Jellybean, uh, now
is not the best time.

Well, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but this was on our doorstep.

More house shots?

Maybe it's another copycat?

- Maybe it's an invitation.
- Yeah, but where?

That place doesn't even
look like it's in Riverdale.

No, but I've seen this place before.

That's the cabin where Veronica's
mom killed Sheriff Minetta.

Where they had their affair.

I'll go get my keys.

What's that for?

Look like a makeshift screen.

This projector reminds me of the
one we used to have at the drive-in.

There's no film in it, though.

Jug.

Dear Headmaster Koontz,

Greetings from Riverdale High.

I wanted to follow up on our
conversation with a short note.

Though Jughead Jones has had an
incredibly difficult year, as you know,

and I've only interacted
with him a scant few times,

he is a special kid,

and a superb writer.

But he needs a break.

He needs good teachers
and a healthy environment,

which I know the University
of Iowa can provide.

I don't say this lightly,

but I do believe Jughead Jones

will be an important
voice of his generation.

If you'd like to discuss him further,

please call me at any time.

All my best to you and Edith.

Sincerely, Holden Honey.