Riverdale (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 12 - Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale - full transcript

Previously on Riverdale...

- Dude, what are you doing?
- What we've been doing all summer.

My dad is right over there.

Why?

He's the new RROTC instructor.

Welcome, cadets.

Excuse me, Major Mason? I'm
hoping it's not too late to join?

Can I get another
bartender in here, please?

Hey, Toby! Toby! I know him.

Listen up, Andrews,

you are in free fall,
and I am not having it.



You broke the code.
Turn in your jackets and go.

Are you serious, Jones?

I'm a Serpent by blood. You
can't take that away from me.

I think my mom may have
hired someone to shoot my father,

so that she could make a profit
from the sale of his drug operation.

We're gonna destroy them
before my mom sells everything.

What the hell did you do?

My buyer is coming, Veronica,
and they are gonna want blood.

Riverdale is like Bizarrotown,

where murder, mystery, and candy drugs
aren't the exception, they're the norm.

You forget sometimes that people
are still just living their lives.

Doing things as ordinary
as getting married.

What do you mean,
you don't want a big wedding?

Well, we just finalized
our divorces, Kevin,



and this is a second marriage
for both of us.

And with everything that's
going on in Riverdale...

Yeah, we just wanna go down to
Town Hall and just keep it simple.

If I may?

We fully disagree.

But we're not the ones
getting married,

so we respect your decision.

As long as you let us throw you

an after-party at La Bonne Nuit.

Ah...

If there's no wedding reception,
it means the Gargoyle King has won.

Okay, but a small one.

Fabulous. I'll send out invites today.

- Marcus.
- Tom.

Cadet Keller, ladies,
how are you all doing?

We're good. Thank you.

Actually, we've got some news.

Tom and I are finally
tying the knot,

and these two are throwing us
an after-party downstairs.

You and Moose can be
our first invites.

How 'bout it?

I'll... check my calendar, Sierra.

What's his deal?

Marcus and I used to be good friends.
We did RROTC together, but we

just grew apart.

It's probably the jealousy.

Well...

Marcus always had
a crush on me, as you know,

but I only had eyes for you.

Oh, lucky me.

Mmm.

It feels so good to sleep
in a real bed, doesn't it?

Far away the rural horrors
of tent city.

Well, I don't miss the cold or
the mud, that's true. But...

I don't know,
I miss the game, babe.

Oh, my God. Our SAT scores.

I pray mine are good enough
for Highsmith College.

The women of my family have
gone there for generations.

I don't indent to break
Blossom tradition.

Much like desert hearts,
my score's not perfect,

but it's close.

How'd you fare, T.T.?

Flawless.

As I've always known you to be.

Since you two vigilantes took it upon
yourselves to burn all the Fizzle Rocks

that I had already sold,

you are gonna come up with the
money to pay back what's owed.

How are we supposed to do that?

I'd start with
the speakeasy's coffers.

We don't make nearly enough to pay off
whatever kingpin you're working with, Mom.

Well, then I suggest
you get creative, mija.

And quickly.

The buyer, who has a reputation
for being dangerously unhinged,

is on their way to Riverdale,

and they're looking to get paid back in
full for the drugs they are not getting.

Who is this buyer?

You don't need to know.

They're sending an intermediary.

How much money are we
talking about, Mrs. Lodge?

And suddenly, I'm in
an episode of Ozark.

No.

But you are in
the big leagues now,

and it is time to sink or swim.

Furthermore, I've
successfully balanced my duties

as Captain of the River Vixens

and president of the student body
whilst maintaining a 4.2 GPA,

perfect attendance, and achieving
an almost perfect SAT score.

For these reasons, I believe I'm an
exemplary candidate for Highsmith College.

Not to mention, I'm legacy.

You are, Ms. Blossom. However,

most recently, Highsmith College's Board
of Directors have decided it's time to

diversify our student body
with women from

outside the alumni pool.

This is a new initiative?

I'm afraid so,

but long overdue,
don't you agree?

Oh! Absolutely.

I'm just imagining which board member in
particular suddenly developed a conscience.

Hey, I need to
ask you something.

Hey.

- Will you be my date to my dad's wedding?
- Kevin...

I know, it's a public event,

and you haven't come out to your
dad yet, but maybe it's time?

I mean, how long have we
been together?

- Since summer started.
- So practically forever.

And I love the clandestine grope
as much as the next gay guy,

but we've never even spent
a proper night together.

You don't think I want to?

So do it, just talk to your dad.

- Dad.
- Major Mason.

I told you
they were in here, sir.

Cadet Mason, Cadet Keller.

The meeting with the Naval Academy
recruitment officer is about to start, so,

on the double.

I'm sorry, Kev, I can't.

Hey, Sweet Pea.

I hope you don't mind me
dropping by like this.

I'm always happy
to see you, Josie.

Especially if this is...

A booty call?

Wouldn't be the first one we've
had since our summer fling ended.

Well, it's not.

Um, I don't know
if you've heard,

but my mom is getting married
to Kevin's dad,

and I wanted to know if you
would be my date to the wedding.

As your boyfriend?

Does it have to be so official?

Josie,

I like you.

And I would be with you,
all in with you, in a second,

but you sliding into my life
whenever you don't wanna be alone...

I'm not built that way.

Maybe that makes me needy,
but I just...

I gotta get off
this merry-go-round with you.

So, this is the infamous
Maple Club.

And no surprise it's as cheap
and callow as your efforts

to sabotage my admission
to your alma mater.

I spoke to the headmistress
at Highsmith College.

She enlightened me about
a certain new policy

that seems designed specifically
to keep me from attending.

I can't think of anyone else
who would stoop so low, Mumsy.

Care to explain?

Cheryl.

The hallowed halls of Highsmith

shall not be polluted
by someone of your

alignment.

You are an aberration.

And I'm so sure the alumni newsletter
would be thrilled to profile

a twice-widowed dominatrix
with a proclivity for poison.

With the hefty financial gifts I've
bestowed upon them over the years,

I doubt they would bat an eye.

Now, accept it, Cheryl.

This is the price of salt.

Your presence shall not
besmirch Highsmith.

The charges against you
are very serious.

Oh, wow, what do you suggest?

I could request an injunction.

I think I'd like
to go straight to trial.

Where you going?

I am having a little snack,
before having my other snack.

What is it?

"Fair Sierriana,

Friar Thomas,

congratulations on
your upcoming nuptials.

If you wish to live
to see this blessed event,

you must reunite with your
Midnight Club to...

To complete Ascension Night
once and for all."

"Tell no one,

or your children
will pay the price.

Best wishes,

The Gargoyle King."

Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== https://subscene.com ==

Well, someone looks like they
could use an epaulette to cry on.

I'm not trying to
carb-shame you, Kevin, but,

whatever's on your mind,
it's not worth it.

So, put down the Swizzler

and tell me your tale of woe.

I could use the distraction.

Well,

there's this guy, and we've
been having problems...

Moose, you mean?

Please, I have eyes.

I saw you lounging together
at my pool party,

looking like a community theater
production of T he Talented Mr. Ripley.

The Koose ship's been trouble
from the gay get-go.

Maybe it's time you move on.

I can't go back to Fox Forest.

Oh, sullen, tenderhearted Kevin.

I'm not talking about cruising,

I'm talking about Bumble.

Look.

I'm sure you can find a well-adjusted,
handsome, out and proud fella here.

That'd be nice.

But I like Moose a lot.

I just wish he'd be honest
with his dad, so we could date.

You know, openly.

- What's his hang-up?
- Major Mason's not

the biggest fan
of our persuasion.

It burns me that there are people
in this town that still believe

that being gay is anything less

than rapturous.

Maybe Moose would come out
if he liked me more.

No. It's not
your fault, Kevin.

Your aesthetic may be
firmly rooted in the 1950s,

but you're a catch
in any decade.

As for the object
of your affection,

maybe he just needs
the subtlest of nudges?

A bulldozer wouldn't be enough.

Attention, students, it's time
for the daily announcements.

As Riverdale High's first openly
lesbian Student Body President,

I'm announcing the launch
of a new club,

an LGBTQIA Alliance,

with the mission to find and support our
fellow queer and questioning students.

In that spirit,

this week's blind item
will be on theme.

A certain oh-so-hunky,
all-American RROTC cadet

is afraid to
come out of the closet.

Well, let's show this cadet that
Riverdale High is welcoming,

so and his Broadway-loving
boyfriend can finally PDA

like the other sex-crazed
couples dwelling amongst us.

Also, for lunch today we're
having Shepherd's Pie. Thank you.

Did you put Cheryl up to that?

What, her not-so-blind item?
Of course not.

I'm opposed to publicly outing people
unless they're conservative politicians.

Have people guessed it's you?

No.

- I don't know. Maybe.
- Moose,

putting aside what Cheryl did,

we've been together
for a while now, and

I can't keep playing Brokeback Riverdale
with someone who's in the closet.

Either you come out
to your dad or,

I'm sorry, but
we're breaking up.

Either way,
I'll respect your decision.

What the hell were you thinking?

Just now? About the sweet, sweet
revenge I'm gonna get on Mumsy.

Hopefully with a little help
from you and your trusty camera,

O shutterbug of my dreams.

- You just outed Moose.
- No, I didn't.

It was a blind item, Toni. For all anyone
knows, I wasn't ever referring to him.

Moose's father could have
heard that announcement.

Oh, my God,
is this our first fight?

Cheryl, get some perspective!

Did you know that my uncle hated
the fact that I dated girls?

That's why the Serpents
were so important to me.

They were like
my nonjudgmental family.

And now I don't have them.

Toni, I'm sorry.

- I didn't realize...
- Of course you didn't.

Because you're too busy
being Cheryl,

causing chaos regardless
of the consequences.

Look, babe, I get that
you're mad at your mom,

and you're pissed that you're not
going to some hoity-toity college

that I could never get into
or afford...

- If it's about money...
- Cheryl, just stop and listen to me!

Highsmith College was
your legacy.

The Serpents were mine.

Now they're not.

Toni, I'll...

I'll fix this.

- What part?
- All of it.

You are the most
important person in my life.

I'll do whatever it takes to
make all these things right.

But I may need your help.

Josie, hey.

- Archie, hey.
- Am I interrupting?

Just practicing.

There's a recruiter
from Julliard

holding local auditions
and my slot's this afternoon.

Well, if you're nervous, don't be.
You're gonna kill it.

Ha! If could even get there.

It's at Seaside,
and I just assumed

that Sweet Pea would
give me a ride,

but I didn't even get a chance
to ask him.

Sweet Pea?

Wait, are you guys...

No, I ended it, so that I
could focus on my music.

Which is what I always do.

Stay focused.

So much so that
I've pushed everyone away.

And I can't ask my mom
for a ride because

she doesn't even know
that I have this audition.

Because if she knew,
and I didn't do well at it,

she'd start asking me about my
backup plans, which I don't have.

Let me take you.

I got the jalopy.

Really?

Absolutely.

Just remember this moment though,
when you're accepting your

Best New Artist Grammy, okay?

Okay.

What's up, Ronnie?

We're dead.

We're officially dead.

That, or we're about
to have our kneecaps broken,

courtesy of whoever
this mystery buyer is.

Does that really happen?

I've combined my liquid funds
from Pop's and La Bonne Nuit.

We're not even a quarter
of the way there.

Is robbing banks still a thing?

Although the thought of being
Bonnie to your Clyde is intriguing,

banks have round-the-clock
security guards with guns.

Yeah, but if they're anything like
my dad's lame-ass security guards...

Holy crap! I'm a genius.

My dad keeps cash
in his safe at the dealership.

Enough to make up
the difference probably.

I'm not gonna let you steal
from your own family.

That dealership is my legacy,
so technically,

I'd be borrowing money
from my future self.

And everything is insured, so
my dad will get a sweet payout.

Which is more than he deserves for all
the shiners he's given me over the years.

This is lunacy.

But it might be inspired lunacy.

How would we get it all done?

My dad's security guard
is only on duty at night,

after closing. So,

I'd hit the lot during the
day, probably lunchtime,

when my dad is usually
at Pop's with a customer,

trying to close a sale.

You could wear a Gargoyle mask,

so as not to get recognized.

And I, of course,
would come with you,

as we're in this mess together.

You can be my baby driver.

Just, please,
don't scratch my car.

Okay?

So we all received letters then,

to finish Ascension Night?

This was taped to my trailer.

Mine came to the dealership.

Thought you caught
the Gargoyle King, FP?

Tall Boy was using the game
as a cover to deal drugs,

but he wasn't
the one running around,

setting up chalices back
when we were in high school.

We're not really taking this
seriously, are we?

I think we have to assume that this
is real, if only for our kids' sake.

And then what?

I mean, we're just supposed to
leave them home alone all night

while we run around pretending
to be teenagers again?

May I remind you what happened
last Ascension Night?

Someone ended up dead.

We don't have any choice
in the matter.

We all know why this is
happening again, and now.

Two members of the original Midnight
Club are daring to get married,

to be happy,

and the Gargoyle King,
whoever or whatever he is,

wants to destroy that.
He is a vicious and petty god,

and if we don't finish
the game now,

the Gargoyle King is never
gonna leave us alone.

Yeah, maybe if we do this,
we catch the son of a bitch.

There's only one problem...

The letter says
we all have to participate.

I'll talk to Hiram.

All right, well,
it's settled then.

We finish the game we started.

Name.

Josephine McCoy.

All right, then.

Whenever you're ready.

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Oh, my God, Reggie, were you shot?
- Yeah.

I got the money, but turns out
there was security after all.

- Well, are you okay...
- Drive! Drive!

Thanks for your help, Toni.

Just remember
your promise to me.

Don't worry, babe, I have a mega
plan, and this is only step one.

Operation Fifty Shades
of Blackmail is underway.

What in God's name are
you Jezebels doing here?

Whatever mad, Sapphic caper
you're on,

I won't have you jeopardize
my thriving business.

Step down from the
Highsmith College Board

and revoke your ban
on my admittance,

or we'll go public with these
photos of your sorry clientele.

I am far from
ashamed of my work, Cheryl.

Need I remind you
that blackmail is

far more illegal than anything
that goes on at the Maple Club,

all of which is consensual.

How will your clients feel once
we publish their names and photos?

Don't test us, Mumsy.

We know how to dominate too.

Did it come through?

- Um...
- Come on, what's it say?

"Unfortunately, we are

unable to invite you
to callbacks this year."

I'm sorry, Josie.

I know I'm biased, Archie, but
I think I killed that audition.

I sang my heart out,

and it still wasn't enough.

Then, they're crazy.

- They don't deserve you.
- I've given so much to this,

and all along I've been saying,

"It's okay,
it'll be worth it."

I've built up so many walls to
focus on this one thing, and now...

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

- And I'm alone.
- Hey...

- you're not alone.
- I am.

I can't even get a date
to my mom's wedding.

That speaks volumes.

I'll do it.

What? Be my date?

I've been alone
these last few months,

either literally

or feeling like I'm
from Mars, and it sucks.

Yeah.

So, maybe I can help you
feel a little less alone.

Okay.

I can't believe I was shot.

You sure you don't
wanna go to a doctor, Reggie?

Nah, it's just a graze.

Besides, now I can say
I've been shot.

Except you can't, since we
want everyone to believe

that the Gargoyle gang robbed
your father's dealership.

Right. Right.

Okay.

Let's see how much money
we just comped.

And pray it's enough.

What? A dye pack?

Oh, hell. We're screwed.

I did it. I told my dad.

What? You did?
How'd it go?

He was quiet and weird at first,

but then okay, I think.

We went to Pop's afterwards
and got chicken pot pie.

Which is a good sign, right?

I am so proud of you, Moose.

Does that mean you'll be
my date to the wedding?

Yeah. And more importantly,

I think we should do it.
Spend the night together.

Only question is where?

Don't worry. I know the perfect
spot where no one will interrupt us.

Well, in a fortuitous
turn of events, Ms. Blossom,

Highsmith College's policy
not to admit legacy candidates

has been reconsidered. So, we
may proceed with our interview.

Respectfully,
Headmistress Patricia,

I know you only perform a limited
number of these one-on-ones.

With my qualifications,

legacy status or not,
I'm obviously a shoo-in.

Therefore, I'd like to
cede my time to another

unquestionably worthy candidate.

Ms. Antoinette Topaz,

future photojournalist and
Nobel Peace Prize recipient.

It's a pleasure to meet you,
Headmistress.

Knock 'em dead, babe.

And remember,
this is only step two.

Uh, yes, please. Have a seat.

- Do you have your portfolio with you?
- Yes, I do.

Whoever you are,
please be chill.

Oh, great. More teenagers.

Here's your money. Or as
much as we could get of it.

Veronica Lodge, I presume?

I can't believe your mom sent you
out here to sort out her mess.

Hey, I know she's cutthroat
but, man, that's cold as ice.

Sorry, are we supposed
to know you?

I'm Gladys Jones.

You might know my kid,

Jughead?

- What?
- Seriously?

You're Jughead's mom?

Mrs. Jones, if you could
give us a little more time,

I know we can get you
the rest of the money.

Just please don't break
our kneecaps.

I gotta say,

I do admire the fact that you two
came out here knowing you were short.

Shows you know how to
take responsibility.

Look at the two of you.

You kind of remind me a little
bit of me and FP back in the day.

So, I'll tell you what, I'm gonna
be sticking around for a while.

So, I will take your money, but
I'm gonna have to charge you a fee,

because I'm gonna need
to get it laundered.

- Every which way.
- Understood.

And then, we'll figure out
a payment plan for the rest.

But, in exchange, you're gonna
lend me those sweet wheels.

Not Bella.

Please, Mrs. Jones,
Reggie loves that car.

Then I'll make sure
I take real good care of her.

Oh, wait, one more thing.
Just as a favor,

don't tell Jughead about
our business.

I mean, if you do,
I'm gonna have to tell

Hiram about his missus going
behind his back for a cut,

and that'd be bad for all of us.

Greetings, Moose.

What the hell, Cheryl?
What do you what?

To apologize.

Outing you was wrong

for so many reasons.

It's a personal decision that I
shouldn't have taken from you.

I'm sorry.

Apology accepted.

And that's step three.
Bon appetit.

Cheryl?

I'm not saying what you did
was right,

but it kind of turned out okay.

I'm out to my dad now.

And Kevin and I, we...

We're finally gonna do it.

Tonight, in some secret bunker.

Well, well, well, Moose.

In that case, I'd bring a fresh
set of sheets, if I were you.

A lot of people have had sex
on that cot.

Feels like we never left.

'Cause we never did.

All right, the Gargoyle King wants
us to finish Ascension Night,

so we better start by finding
the chalices,

then we flip for our fates
and drink up. Game over.

You want us to drink poison?

Not quite. Penelope,
did you bring them?

The antidote to cyanide.

Drink it now, you'll be inoculated
for the next several hours.

Oh, come on.

All right, let's get these
chalices and get this over with.

Should we wait for the Lodges?

We're already here, Sierra.

Friends, good to see you again.

Although I'm certain not all
of you feel the same way.

Well, I sure as hell don't.

But we're here on a mission,
so let's get after it.

I know. Candles, it's dumb.

Nah, I get it.

Girl's bathroom is clear.

That's where I found
the chalices before.

- Did you check the trophy case?
- Yeah, we did. Nothing.

We searched the student lounge,

the closet where we found
Featherhead...

Second floor is clear.

- So is the cafeteria.
- And the library.

I don't understand.
The objective was simple.

Return to school, find the
chalices, finish the game.

What aren't we seeing?

Wait a minute, where's Penelope?

Penelope, what is it?

The hell does it mean?

It's a prank,
and we've been played.

Or...

it's just another iteration
of the game.

And what the Gargoyle King
wanted all along,

to distract us

- and lure us away from...
- Our kids.

- Mom?
- Hey, Dad.

- Josie, where are you?
- I'm rehearsing with Archie.

- What's going on?
- Archie, lock the doors, do not let anybody in the house.

It's locked, Dad.
What's wrong?

- Crap, it's my dad.
- My mom's calling me, too.

Do you think he knows about
the dealership?

- Mom?
- What's up, Dad?

- It's my dad.
- It's my mom.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hello?

- Jughead...
- Betty, where are you?

It's my hateful mother.

- Why are you calling, night hag?
- Cheryl, just do what I say.

Keep your bow close.

Josie is with Archie at Fred's.

- Veronica's with Reggie.
- Kevin's not picking up.

Cheryl, you don't know where
the Keller boy is, do you?

It's funny.

Part of me thought
this was never gonna happen.

I'm glad it did.

Betty, if that's you, I
reserved the bunker for tonight.

Betty!

What the hell is this?

- Who are you guys?
- What are doing?

Say something!

- Let go of me! Get your hand off me.
- Oh, my God. No!

Oh, my God, Moose, no!

Oh, my God.

What do you want?

Please. Please, let us go.

They want us to flip
for our fate.

We're not doing that.

We're not playing
your sick game, okay?

If we don't, they'll kill us.

- I'll go first. I'll go first!
- No, Kev...

Is this what you want?
Will this make you happy?

Drop the weapons!

- Don't move! Don't move!
- Dad!

They're from the RROTC?

What? Why?

Dad?

Let's cut to the bone, Mason.

Are you the Gargoyle King?

There was no poison
in those chalices.

I was just...

scaring them.

Right. Scaring them straight?

You set out to abduct
and terrorize your own kid.

How'd you talk your cadets
into helping?

I made it a quest.

The Gargoyle King told them
their brothers needed help.

When you are weak, I am weak.

The RROTC was the same way

when Tom Keller and I were
in high school.

Back then, us cadets did
everything together,

and no one was closer
than me and my best friend,

Tommy Keller.

Until I tried to kiss him.

Marcus...

When my parents found out
about my inclinations,

they sent me to the Sisters,
to get help for my...

weakness of character.

That's where I first met
the King,

and where I started playing
Gryphons and Gargoyles,

which I later learned Tommy
played too with his Midnight Club.

The Sisters cured me
of impure thoughts.

I became strong, as I
have been all these years.

But then, I heard Tom and
Sierra were getting married

just as my own son Moose

told me he was seeing Tom's boy,

who looks just like Tommy did.

When I...

You wanted...

to destroy
what you couldn't have.

The Sisters scared you

with the Gargoyle King, so you
thought you'd do the same...

to Moose and Kevin.

Man, the Sisters
did a number on you.

Tall Boy was using the costume
to sell drugs,

but Major Mason was using it
to, what, scare his kid?

We keep taking down Gargoyle Kings,
and they keep popping up again.

It's like playing Whac-A-Mole.

Yeah, but the true
Gargoyle King,

if there even is an ur-King,
is still at large.

Daddy?

- Jellybelly?
- What?

I'm sorry I was such a jerk
last time.

No, that's all right,
sweetheart. It's okay.

- Nice hat.
- You, too.

Hey, Jughead.

Hey, FP.

Hi.

What are you guys doing here?

I think what you meant to say
is, "Welcome home."

We're always happy
to see you, Gladys.

Just, uh, wish you had called

and told us you were
coming to visit.

Visit? Nah, me and JB are here
to stay awhile.

In the end, our folks
got the wedding they wanted.

The four of us, at Town Hall.

They said it didn't feel right
having a party

after everything.

So, what now?

Well, after everything that Kevin
and Moose just went through,

not getting into Julliard
doesn't seem like

such a big deal.

Honestly, I... I don't know.

Just take it day by day.

That's what I'm doing, too.

And the bummer is, I was gonna
suggest we sing together, Josie.

So, why can't we?

♪ I always wanted to see
the lights of Broadway ♪

♪ I always wanted to hear
the traffic roar ♪

♪ I always wanted to be a part of
New York City's great big heart ♪

♪ And now I am
I couldn't ask for more ♪

♪ People like us
We get through the day ♪

♪ Survive in the city
way better than most ♪

♪ We go through the motions
from nightcap to nightcap ♪

♪ Here but not here
With the heart of a ghost ♪

♪ People like us
We meet up some night ♪

♪ In a room full of strangers
who call themselves friends ♪

♪ It feels like a dream
But it's too hard to tell ♪

♪ Where the dream begins
and the real world ends ♪

♪ And where ♪

♪ Where do we belong? ♪

I'm glad it was too late
to cancel the cake.

It's beautiful.

You're beautiful.

I love you, Sierra.

I love you, Tommy.

I can't stay, Kev.

I just...
I came to tell you that.

I'm, uh, I'm moving to
Glendale to stay with my aunt.

Moose, your friends are here,
and I'm here,

- and you can live with any of us.
- Kevin...

I...

I can't live here.

At least not for a little while.

I'm gonna miss you, Marmaduke.

I'm gonna miss you,
Kevin Keller.

It's so messed up
what Major Mason did.

It's the Sisters' conversion
therapy. It twisted his soul.

Well, I'm glad we got you out
of that hellhole when we did.

I'll never forget the day
you saved me, T.T.

And, since you've done
so much for me,

I wanted to do
something for you.

Call it step four.

What's this?

A gang. If you want it.

You said you were missing
having the Serpents as a family,

so I found some other girls who were
looking for support or community,

or just good old-fashioned
fisticuffs,

and I thought maybe,
we could start a new family?

Cheryl, this is the most badass

and romantic thing
you've ever done.

Uh... Do we have a name yet?

How about

the Pretty Poisons?

Pretty by day, poison by night.

I love it.

You said
you have an update for me?

Yeah, but first...

You could have told us that the
secret buyer was Jughead's mom.

Wait, Gladys showed up?

I assumed that she would
have sent one of her deputies

scurrying up from Toledo.

Nope. And about Toledo, Mom,

I've got some news for you.

I don't think Gladys is
leaving anytime soon.

Everything's going
just how you said, Mom.

I've got Dad
wrapped around my pinky.

You're his weakness, baby.

Which means, we got
the whole town, JB.

Your old man's the sheriff,

the mayor owes us
serious cash. Hell,

even her daughter's
working for me now.

Oh, yeah,

we moved to the right place
at the right time.

I could feel it.

♪ Where ♪

♪ Where do we belong? ♪

Archie...

Can I kiss you?

Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
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