Risqué Business: Japan (2023-…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript
Guess what I did with my free time
when I toured in Japan?
I just checked out popular restaurants
after my schedule.
Right.
We're in Yokocho.
It's packed with small bars.
It's the perfect ambiance
- for drinkers like you and me.
- Exactly.
It's amazing.
SHIBUYA YOKOCHO
- Isn't it nice?
- It is.
A POPULAR SPOT
AMONG THE YOUNGER GENERATION
It's popular among the younger generation
as well as tourists.
And it smells delicious here.
- I smell something being grilled.
- Right.
Isn't the ambiance great?
This is what I'm talking about.
It's jam-packed with
these small tables.
This place is huge.
- It goes on and on.
- There's a lot more inside.
We came a little early.
The whole place will be packed
later in the evening.
- I think that's our guests.
- They must be.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Hi.
It's nice to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
My name is Sung Si-kyung,
and this is Shin Dong-youp.
Dong-youp and Si-kyung.
Yes, I'm Si-kyung.
Could you please
introduce yourselves?
I'm Hayato Hamada and I'm 35.
I work as a counselor.
A counselor?
I listen to people's concerns.
I've done over 5,000 sessions
over the last five years.
What kind of concerns?
A lot of them have
to do with dating.
I listen to various concerns that people
are psychologically affected by.
Japanese men grow up with AVs.
It's a part of their lives.
- Are you a big fan?
- I am.
HAYATO HAMADA (35)
COUNSELOR WITH OVER 5,000 SESSIONS
"AVS ARE A PART OF LIFE"
Hello, everyone.
We are a couple,
and we've been dating for four years.
We run a YouTube channel
under the name Sugarsalt.
I'm Karsey, and
I'm 29 years old.
My name is Momo, and I'm 26.
We used to be
sexless for a while.
I've never
said "I love you."
That's a little…
IN A FOUR-YEAR RELATIONSHIP
HAVE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR A YEAR
"WE USED TO BE SEXLESS"
There's someone named Momo
from a K-pop group.
- From TWICE.
- TWICE.
Do you like Momo?
Well, she's charming.
She's a great singer and dancer.
What about me?
You have a similar vibe.
- There is some resemblance.
- We're both from the Kansai region.
Do you use the dialect?
The three of us
are from the Kansai region.
Please use standard Japanese.
Otherwise, I won't
understand a word.
Hello.
My name is Kotoha Hatanaka
and I'm 26 years old.
Kotoha.
I'm a model.
They say that Japanese men
don't play a losing game.
- I know, right?
- Koreans just come out and say
"I like you" if
they're into someone.
KOTOHA HATANAKA, A LEADING GEN Z MODEL
"KOREA AND JAPAN ARE VERY DIFFERENT"
I did an exchange program
at Yonsei University.
It's not a very good school.
No way.
Yonsei is…
I'd say it's subpar.
Really? I thought it
was a good school.
- He graduated from Korea University.
- That's why.
- They're rival universities.
- Rivals, that's right.
I was kidding.
Yonsei University is very prestigious.
Korea University
is just a bit better.
I apologize.
- Why don't we have a toast?
- Cheers.
- Thank you for having us.
- Cheers.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
During our time in Japan,
we've met AV actors,
AV actresses,
ROLAND, the host…
ROLAND from the host club.
I've heard of him.
And we also met the
president of TENGA.
We only talked to people in the industry
about sex-related topics all day.
So now it feels strange
to talk about everyday stuff.
It feels strange to talk about
everyday things.
Kotoha, you've lived in Korea.
I bet you're well aware
of the cultural differences
between Korea and Japan.
You must know the cultural differences
between Korea and Japan.
What are some
of the differences?
There are a lot of things,
but the first thing I noticed
when I was in college
was that Japanese people
don't express their
opinions very well.
When I came back from Korea,
I found myself wondering,
"What is this person trying to say?"
I know, right?
Koreans are straightforward
and say what's on their minds.
They're straightforward.
Japanese people tend to
talk to themselves in a loud voice
so others can hear them.
Koreans don't really do that.
Instead of saying "It's hot.
Can I open the windows?"
Japanese people would say,
"It's warm in here."
That's so true.
It's a way of asking.
You're letting the
other person decide.
Japanese people don't tend to express
what they're really thinking.
It's in our culture
to not let our true feelings show.
Expressing your
thoughts indirectly
is the way we
communicate in Japan.
Here's a question.
Let's say you want
to ask your girlfriend
to spend the night with you.
How would you ask?
Remember when we were
coming home from Kamakura,
and you said that you
wanted to stay with me?
- What was it that you said?
- I don't remember.
At that time,
we both had a feeling
that neither of us wanted to go home.
- You both knew.
- But we couldn't say it.
- That's adorable.
- That's so cute.
So who asked first?
- He did.
- What did he say?
"I don't feel like
going home yet."
You pretty much said it.
I was too embarrassed to ask her
to spend the night together,
so I first told her how I felt.
I said, "I don't feel like going home,"
meaning that I wanted to stay with her.
So I caught onto
what he was implying, so I asked,
"Why don't we stay together
until morning?"
- So it was her who asked.
- I said it as well!
Well, in the end…
I was trying to feel her out.
- You didn't want to be the instigator.
- That's not true.
You're definitely Japanese.
- That's not it.
- Honestly,
I did want him to be
a bit more straightforward.
They say that Japanese men
don't play a losing game.
They don't play a losing game.
They won't ask anyone out
unless they think they have a chance.
It only happens after confirming
each other's feelings.
Koreans just come out and say
"I like you" if they're into someone.
They're straightforward.
But Koreans also say
"I love you" so frequently
that I started to wonder
if they actually mean it.
In our case, I
don't really say it.
"I love you" sounds like a line
out of a movie.
It feels unnatural.
It doesn't feel familiar.
It sounds like a
line from a movie
or lyrics from a song.
Instead, we say,
"I like you a lot"
or "I like you."
We say "You're the most precious"
or "I'm thankful to be with you."
Japanese people express love
in indirect ways.
Have you never said
"I love you" to Momo?
I wouldn't say never,
but I've never said "I love you"
in a serious way.
He's said it in a
lighthearted way.
What a coward.
Does that make me a coward?
You're not his favorite.
I prefer to show it through my actions
rather than words.
Most Japanese men are like that.
They don't really
express their affection.
Especially not in public.
You're right.
I heard they tend to
express their love better in private.
Tsundere.
Dong-youp is a married man.
Do you tell your wife
you love her often?
I say "I love you"
every morning as I wake up.
Like a habit.
Because if you can't say it,
you'll never be able to.
If you can't say
"I love you" in a relationship,
you'll never be able to say it.
That's why I always
tell my wife I love her.
Same with my son, my daughter,
and my father.
When I told him that I loved him,
he was over the moon.
The more often, the better.
He thinks it should be said
as often as possible.
- That's amazing.
- So full of love.
I really wanted to ask you this.
Q. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS
ON THE PERILLA LEAF DEBATE?
In Korea, perilla
leaves are a side dish.
The leaves stick together,
so it's difficult to separate them
with your chopsticks.
So we help the other person
by holding the rest of the leaves down.
Do you think that's okay?
Let's say Kotoha is Momo's friend,
and she's having trouble separating them.
Then Karsey swoops in
and helps her without saying a word.
- You wouldn't like that?
- Of course not.
This is like…
indirect kissing.
INDIRECT KISSING
That's what I
don't like about it.
It'd be better if the boyfriend
asked his girlfriend first.
- So I'd do it.
- Indirect helping.
Indirect helping.
Japanese people sure
love being indirect.
Here's another question.
Let's say Hayato
is your boyfriend.
Momo is your best friend.
She's your best friend.
She's about to go out,
but she's carrying coffee and other stuff.
She's holding coffee
and other stuff in her hands
and it's cold outside.
The weather's
absolutely freezing.
What if your boyfriend
came and did this?
- He did this.
- Zipped her up.
Would you be okay with that?
I don't think you should
zip anyone up to begin with.
That's not something
you do for someone.
Not even for a close friend.
But it's freezing
and she might catch a cold.
- Why not carry the stuff for her instead?
- I'd just tell her to put it down.
Which is worse?
Zipping someone up because it's cold?
Or pulling the zipper down
because it's hot?
That has to be worse, right?
I hate both of them.
I'd be amazed by that.
You would probably
get arrested for the latter.
I have a question.
In Korea,
it's common for men
to tie their girlfriends' shoelaces.
When I told Japanese
men about this,
they were really surprised.
In Japan, people would think
that the girlfriend
is making her boyfriend do it for them.
I wouldn't do it for a friend.
Although maybe I would
for someone I really like.
Are there any debates
like this in Japan?
I have one.
I come across topics like this
during my sessions.
I often hear about boyfriends
being on social media
and liking or leaving comments
on photos of pretty women
or women wearing
revealing clothes.
And they ask what it means.
What do you guys think?
Actually, once…
You've heard of TikTok, right?
Karsey was sitting across from me
scrolling through TikTok,
and there was a
mirror behind him.
And I could see reflections
of gravure idols in the mirror.
He just kept watching.
I was looking at it
in the mirror thinking,
"What the heck is
going through his mind?"
TikTok keeps showing you
recommended videos.
I happened to be watching a video
that I happened to come across,
- which she happened to see in the mirror.
- That's suspicious.
I didn't have any other reasons
for watching the video.
Did his face look like
he wasn't looking at gravure models?
Did he look like he
was watching the news?
That's right, he
looked really serious.
It happens to men often.
- Is it like eating because you're hungry?
- It's one of the three basic desires.
Very well then.
I watch those a lot.
On social media like
Instagram or TikTok,
feeds are AI-generated
according to your taste.
My feed is full of cars, sports,
and women in swimsuits.
Mine has dogs, cooking,
and women in swimsuits.
Q. DO YOU THINK JAPAN IS MORE
OPEN-MINDED ABOUT SEX THAN KOREA?
I didn't think so
when I lived in Japan,
but when I went to study abroad,
I learned that people
from other countries
have that kind of
impression of Japan.
The adult entertainment industry
is quite large.
More than anything,
we have a large AV industry in Japan.
- Are you a big fan?
- I am.
For men, AVs become a part of their lives
since they are students.
So I never thought
it was out of the ordinary,
but I recently found out
that some foreigners see it differently.
I had no idea.
So you're saying that AVs
are something that you grew up watching.
Q. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
YOUR BOYFRIEND WATCHING AVS?
I used to hate it at first.
I thought,
"He's with me."
"Why is he looking
at other naked girls?"
But as time passed,
I realized that it was
a completely different matter.
So recently, I've
been more tolerant…
Not tolerant, but
understanding about it.
Japanese men
grow up watching AVs.
Having a girlfriend is one thing.
Watching AVs is another.
AVs are for entertainment.
They're like a world of fantasy.
The act of watching AVs…
Momo.
Hayato is the one talking,
but Momo's eyes
are fixed on Karsey.
Hear me out.
AVs are for entertainment.
It's far from reality.
In a sense,
it's just like watching a movie.
That's a great excuse.
I was almost convinced.
Let's be honest here.
It's very different
from watching movies.
You just want the stimulation.
You're absolutely right.
You're absolutely right.
What's the reason you watch AVs?
Well…
Why do you watch them
when you have a girlfriend?
Why do you watch them?
They're two different things.
If you have high-end
yakiniku every day,
you're bound to
crave some McDonald's.
I've heard this excuse a lot.
I get it, Karsey.
I hear this all the time.
You're not McDonald's.
Are you sure?
Do the two of you watch AVs?
I don't speak Japanese.
He watches them for sure.
I don't watch them.
Do you know Mao Hamasaki?
Do you know Mao Hamasaki?
- No.
- She's an AV actress.
I've heard of her.
- I might have watched her videos too.
- You've watched her videos?
Seriously?
We interviewed
her the other day.
She takes a lot of pride
in her work as an AV actress.
She takes a lot of pride
in being an AV Actress.
She talked about
how the popularity of AVs in Japan
helped lower its sex crime rate
compared to that of other countries.
I thought that
was very interesting,
and it helped me
gain a new perspective.
I did some research on this
out of curiosity.
There isn't any factual data,
but a lot of people watch AVs
to fulfill their desires.
I guess there may
be a correlation.
In Japan, we say
the three basic desires
are appetite, sleep, and libido.
- That's true everywhere.
- Is it?
So if sexual desires play such an
important role in living a healthy life,
instead of keeping it in the shadows,
we should try to be more open about it.
Didn't the president
of TENGA say that?
Are you the president?
He said we needed
a healthy means to enjoy it.
It's not a bad thing.
- It's something natural.
- It's natural.
The thing is,
Si-kyung and I wouldn't usually
visit adult toy shops together.
We had never been to
an adult toy store in Korea
because we'd get recognized.
We went to one for the first time
when we came to Japan,
and there were so
many cool products.
Some of them had us thinking,
"What even is this?"
Do you often use adult products?
Are they popular
among younger generations?
Sex toys.
I've never used them.
- Have you?
- Yes.
I've used them in
the past with my ex.
Does it enhance pleasure?
Absolutely.
Do you have any recommendations
out of the ones you've used?
There's one that you can put in between
your genitals during intercourse,
and it vibrates
and makes it more pleasurable.
We got those as a gift
from the president of TENGA.
A vibrator that you can wear.
The president of TENGA gave us
a present that's similar.
In Japan, sexless relationships
are becoming more common.
Some people turn to sex toys
to satisfy their needs.
We used to be
sexless for a while.
That's when I realized
how important sex is.
Being in love and making love
are completely different things.
I felt really anxious
during that time.
Why did your relationship
become sexless?
It's been four years
since we've been together,
and Momo's really shy.
She rarely asks me
to sleep with her first.
I've always been the one to ask.
But there was a time
when the whole process
of getting prepared
and getting in the mood
felt like a hassle.
It's not that I didn't find her
attractive anymore.
I just felt like it
was too much work
- Did you find it cumbersome?
- to get us into the mood.
Has that happened?
I think sex is an important part
of a relationship
and I enjoy having sex.
So that's never happened to me.
But many Japanese
men have told me
that when their girlfriends
turn them down for sex,
it's quite a shock to them.
So they're afraid to ask again
because they're afraid
of getting turned down.
In Japan, women hardly ever ask men
to have sex first.
So a lot of couples
become sexless this way.
You've never said no, have you?
No, I haven't.
He always asks first,
so I think about
taking the initiative sometimes,
but I feel too embarrassed.
That's the same for men.
Really?
I had no idea men
get embarrassed too.
I guess we're not
exactly embarrassed.
but we wonder,
"Is she tired?"
"Am I the only one
that wants to do it?"
"Is she just going along with it for me
even though she's not in the mood?"
That's sweet.
You can't help but think that way
if you're always the one that's asking.
- That's what you mean, right?
- Yes.
Sometimes you want your girlfriend
to be the one to ask first.
I'm aware of that,
but I'm just too shy to say it.
When someone
who is as shy as you
makes an effort like that,
he'll be really touched.
Cats never come to you
even if you call them.
They're not like dogs.
But when a cat comes
and lets you touch them,
you'd cry tears of joy.
You're like,
"What's going on?"
See? He's
already smiling.
Or maybe
she could talk directly
with his little guy.
Why do you make me
translate this kind of stuff?
He treats his thing
as a separate entity.
He even named it.
His little guy.
How are you?
"How are you?"
From now on,
I'll try talking to his little guy.
I'll ask him how he's doing.
That would be frightening.
Do you guys have
any questions about Korea?
We've been together for four years,
so we naturally think about marriage.
And in Japan, when
we talk about marriage,
there's a term
called "around thirty."
- The suitable age for marriage?
- Yes.
People start thinking about
getting married around that age.
I heard that people are getting married
a lot later in life in Korea.
Is it not in Japan?
Maybe compared to the past,
but people use spouse hunting apps
and go to spouse
hunting parties.
SPOUSE HUNTING:
ACTIVITIES DESIGNED TO HELP FIND SPOUSES
People get together and check out
each other's backgrounds and stuff.
Do you have
spouse hunting parties in Korea?
We do have something similar.
We have businesses that make matches
for people looking to get married.
Like a blind date?
There are blind dates too.
It's a bit more formal.
You meet people that
your parents prefer.
I guess that makes sense.
If you went to
a spouse hunting party in Korea,
would it be too embarrassing
to tell anyone about it?
We don't have
spouse hunting parties at all.
The culture is different.
Why do you want to get married?
Why do you want to get married?
I'm looking forward
to changing my last name.
MARRIED COUPLES IN JAPAN ARE REQUIRED
TO HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME
WOMEN CHANGE THEIR LAST NAMES
TO THEIR HUSBAND'S IN MOST CASES
This is something
I tell my younger friends.
Something he always tells
his younger friends is…
If you want to live comfortably,
you should live alone.
But if you want to live happily,
you should get married.
If you want to live happily,
you should get married
But the journey to
happiness is not easy.
The journey to happiness
is not easy at all.
But once you get to
the end of that journey,
you'll find true happiness.
Words to live by.
I hope you two will
find your happiness.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Why did you get married?
I'm really curious.
Do you just know
when you meet the one?
He wanted to stay a bachelor.
He partied like crazy.
I bet you were popular.
He partied like there
was no tomorrow.
I was going to
stay a bachelor all my life.
My wife was a producer
at a broadcasting station.
His wife was a producer
at a broadcasting station.
One day, I heard she was
getting married to another producer.
That news broke my heart.
It broke his heart.
I got goosebumps.
I called her to
say congratulations,
but it wasn't her
getting married.
The person getting married
was someone else with the same name.
It's just like a Korean drama!
I got off the phone
and started dancing.
He danced by himself…
out of relief.
So that made you
realize how you felt.
You were certain.
If it weren't for that,
I'd still be a bachelor.
He'd still be single.
Why aren't you
married, Si-kyung?
She's getting back at him
for what he said to her earlier.
He told us a lot of
things but in the end…
How about going to a
spouse hunting party?
Why would I do that?
Why don't you try it out
while you're in Japan?
I'm sure there's someone
out there for me.
RISQUÉ BUSINESS: JAPAN
If we were just tourists here,
we never would have experienced
the things we experienced
and we never would have met
the people we met.
You know what I learned?
Whatever your occupation is,
doing your absolute best at it
- is truly a valuable thing.
- Right.
It made me reflect
on a lot of things.
You know how we said
Japan is a sexually liberated country?
Apparently, Taiwan
is just as great.
I only know their
food is amazing.
Let's get together in Taiwan.
We're not done?
Subtitle translation
by: Sophia Ha
when I toured in Japan?
I just checked out popular restaurants
after my schedule.
Right.
We're in Yokocho.
It's packed with small bars.
It's the perfect ambiance
- for drinkers like you and me.
- Exactly.
It's amazing.
SHIBUYA YOKOCHO
- Isn't it nice?
- It is.
A POPULAR SPOT
AMONG THE YOUNGER GENERATION
It's popular among the younger generation
as well as tourists.
And it smells delicious here.
- I smell something being grilled.
- Right.
Isn't the ambiance great?
This is what I'm talking about.
It's jam-packed with
these small tables.
This place is huge.
- It goes on and on.
- There's a lot more inside.
We came a little early.
The whole place will be packed
later in the evening.
- I think that's our guests.
- They must be.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Hi.
It's nice to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
My name is Sung Si-kyung,
and this is Shin Dong-youp.
Dong-youp and Si-kyung.
Yes, I'm Si-kyung.
Could you please
introduce yourselves?
I'm Hayato Hamada and I'm 35.
I work as a counselor.
A counselor?
I listen to people's concerns.
I've done over 5,000 sessions
over the last five years.
What kind of concerns?
A lot of them have
to do with dating.
I listen to various concerns that people
are psychologically affected by.
Japanese men grow up with AVs.
It's a part of their lives.
- Are you a big fan?
- I am.
HAYATO HAMADA (35)
COUNSELOR WITH OVER 5,000 SESSIONS
"AVS ARE A PART OF LIFE"
Hello, everyone.
We are a couple,
and we've been dating for four years.
We run a YouTube channel
under the name Sugarsalt.
I'm Karsey, and
I'm 29 years old.
My name is Momo, and I'm 26.
We used to be
sexless for a while.
I've never
said "I love you."
That's a little…
IN A FOUR-YEAR RELATIONSHIP
HAVE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR A YEAR
"WE USED TO BE SEXLESS"
There's someone named Momo
from a K-pop group.
- From TWICE.
- TWICE.
Do you like Momo?
Well, she's charming.
She's a great singer and dancer.
What about me?
You have a similar vibe.
- There is some resemblance.
- We're both from the Kansai region.
Do you use the dialect?
The three of us
are from the Kansai region.
Please use standard Japanese.
Otherwise, I won't
understand a word.
Hello.
My name is Kotoha Hatanaka
and I'm 26 years old.
Kotoha.
I'm a model.
They say that Japanese men
don't play a losing game.
- I know, right?
- Koreans just come out and say
"I like you" if
they're into someone.
KOTOHA HATANAKA, A LEADING GEN Z MODEL
"KOREA AND JAPAN ARE VERY DIFFERENT"
I did an exchange program
at Yonsei University.
It's not a very good school.
No way.
Yonsei is…
I'd say it's subpar.
Really? I thought it
was a good school.
- He graduated from Korea University.
- That's why.
- They're rival universities.
- Rivals, that's right.
I was kidding.
Yonsei University is very prestigious.
Korea University
is just a bit better.
I apologize.
- Why don't we have a toast?
- Cheers.
- Thank you for having us.
- Cheers.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
During our time in Japan,
we've met AV actors,
AV actresses,
ROLAND, the host…
ROLAND from the host club.
I've heard of him.
And we also met the
president of TENGA.
We only talked to people in the industry
about sex-related topics all day.
So now it feels strange
to talk about everyday stuff.
It feels strange to talk about
everyday things.
Kotoha, you've lived in Korea.
I bet you're well aware
of the cultural differences
between Korea and Japan.
You must know the cultural differences
between Korea and Japan.
What are some
of the differences?
There are a lot of things,
but the first thing I noticed
when I was in college
was that Japanese people
don't express their
opinions very well.
When I came back from Korea,
I found myself wondering,
"What is this person trying to say?"
I know, right?
Koreans are straightforward
and say what's on their minds.
They're straightforward.
Japanese people tend to
talk to themselves in a loud voice
so others can hear them.
Koreans don't really do that.
Instead of saying "It's hot.
Can I open the windows?"
Japanese people would say,
"It's warm in here."
That's so true.
It's a way of asking.
You're letting the
other person decide.
Japanese people don't tend to express
what they're really thinking.
It's in our culture
to not let our true feelings show.
Expressing your
thoughts indirectly
is the way we
communicate in Japan.
Here's a question.
Let's say you want
to ask your girlfriend
to spend the night with you.
How would you ask?
Remember when we were
coming home from Kamakura,
and you said that you
wanted to stay with me?
- What was it that you said?
- I don't remember.
At that time,
we both had a feeling
that neither of us wanted to go home.
- You both knew.
- But we couldn't say it.
- That's adorable.
- That's so cute.
So who asked first?
- He did.
- What did he say?
"I don't feel like
going home yet."
You pretty much said it.
I was too embarrassed to ask her
to spend the night together,
so I first told her how I felt.
I said, "I don't feel like going home,"
meaning that I wanted to stay with her.
So I caught onto
what he was implying, so I asked,
"Why don't we stay together
until morning?"
- So it was her who asked.
- I said it as well!
Well, in the end…
I was trying to feel her out.
- You didn't want to be the instigator.
- That's not true.
You're definitely Japanese.
- That's not it.
- Honestly,
I did want him to be
a bit more straightforward.
They say that Japanese men
don't play a losing game.
They don't play a losing game.
They won't ask anyone out
unless they think they have a chance.
It only happens after confirming
each other's feelings.
Koreans just come out and say
"I like you" if they're into someone.
They're straightforward.
But Koreans also say
"I love you" so frequently
that I started to wonder
if they actually mean it.
In our case, I
don't really say it.
"I love you" sounds like a line
out of a movie.
It feels unnatural.
It doesn't feel familiar.
It sounds like a
line from a movie
or lyrics from a song.
Instead, we say,
"I like you a lot"
or "I like you."
We say "You're the most precious"
or "I'm thankful to be with you."
Japanese people express love
in indirect ways.
Have you never said
"I love you" to Momo?
I wouldn't say never,
but I've never said "I love you"
in a serious way.
He's said it in a
lighthearted way.
What a coward.
Does that make me a coward?
You're not his favorite.
I prefer to show it through my actions
rather than words.
Most Japanese men are like that.
They don't really
express their affection.
Especially not in public.
You're right.
I heard they tend to
express their love better in private.
Tsundere.
Dong-youp is a married man.
Do you tell your wife
you love her often?
I say "I love you"
every morning as I wake up.
Like a habit.
Because if you can't say it,
you'll never be able to.
If you can't say
"I love you" in a relationship,
you'll never be able to say it.
That's why I always
tell my wife I love her.
Same with my son, my daughter,
and my father.
When I told him that I loved him,
he was over the moon.
The more often, the better.
He thinks it should be said
as often as possible.
- That's amazing.
- So full of love.
I really wanted to ask you this.
Q. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS
ON THE PERILLA LEAF DEBATE?
In Korea, perilla
leaves are a side dish.
The leaves stick together,
so it's difficult to separate them
with your chopsticks.
So we help the other person
by holding the rest of the leaves down.
Do you think that's okay?
Let's say Kotoha is Momo's friend,
and she's having trouble separating them.
Then Karsey swoops in
and helps her without saying a word.
- You wouldn't like that?
- Of course not.
This is like…
indirect kissing.
INDIRECT KISSING
That's what I
don't like about it.
It'd be better if the boyfriend
asked his girlfriend first.
- So I'd do it.
- Indirect helping.
Indirect helping.
Japanese people sure
love being indirect.
Here's another question.
Let's say Hayato
is your boyfriend.
Momo is your best friend.
She's your best friend.
She's about to go out,
but she's carrying coffee and other stuff.
She's holding coffee
and other stuff in her hands
and it's cold outside.
The weather's
absolutely freezing.
What if your boyfriend
came and did this?
- He did this.
- Zipped her up.
Would you be okay with that?
I don't think you should
zip anyone up to begin with.
That's not something
you do for someone.
Not even for a close friend.
But it's freezing
and she might catch a cold.
- Why not carry the stuff for her instead?
- I'd just tell her to put it down.
Which is worse?
Zipping someone up because it's cold?
Or pulling the zipper down
because it's hot?
That has to be worse, right?
I hate both of them.
I'd be amazed by that.
You would probably
get arrested for the latter.
I have a question.
In Korea,
it's common for men
to tie their girlfriends' shoelaces.
When I told Japanese
men about this,
they were really surprised.
In Japan, people would think
that the girlfriend
is making her boyfriend do it for them.
I wouldn't do it for a friend.
Although maybe I would
for someone I really like.
Are there any debates
like this in Japan?
I have one.
I come across topics like this
during my sessions.
I often hear about boyfriends
being on social media
and liking or leaving comments
on photos of pretty women
or women wearing
revealing clothes.
And they ask what it means.
What do you guys think?
Actually, once…
You've heard of TikTok, right?
Karsey was sitting across from me
scrolling through TikTok,
and there was a
mirror behind him.
And I could see reflections
of gravure idols in the mirror.
He just kept watching.
I was looking at it
in the mirror thinking,
"What the heck is
going through his mind?"
TikTok keeps showing you
recommended videos.
I happened to be watching a video
that I happened to come across,
- which she happened to see in the mirror.
- That's suspicious.
I didn't have any other reasons
for watching the video.
Did his face look like
he wasn't looking at gravure models?
Did he look like he
was watching the news?
That's right, he
looked really serious.
It happens to men often.
- Is it like eating because you're hungry?
- It's one of the three basic desires.
Very well then.
I watch those a lot.
On social media like
Instagram or TikTok,
feeds are AI-generated
according to your taste.
My feed is full of cars, sports,
and women in swimsuits.
Mine has dogs, cooking,
and women in swimsuits.
Q. DO YOU THINK JAPAN IS MORE
OPEN-MINDED ABOUT SEX THAN KOREA?
I didn't think so
when I lived in Japan,
but when I went to study abroad,
I learned that people
from other countries
have that kind of
impression of Japan.
The adult entertainment industry
is quite large.
More than anything,
we have a large AV industry in Japan.
- Are you a big fan?
- I am.
For men, AVs become a part of their lives
since they are students.
So I never thought
it was out of the ordinary,
but I recently found out
that some foreigners see it differently.
I had no idea.
So you're saying that AVs
are something that you grew up watching.
Q. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
YOUR BOYFRIEND WATCHING AVS?
I used to hate it at first.
I thought,
"He's with me."
"Why is he looking
at other naked girls?"
But as time passed,
I realized that it was
a completely different matter.
So recently, I've
been more tolerant…
Not tolerant, but
understanding about it.
Japanese men
grow up watching AVs.
Having a girlfriend is one thing.
Watching AVs is another.
AVs are for entertainment.
They're like a world of fantasy.
The act of watching AVs…
Momo.
Hayato is the one talking,
but Momo's eyes
are fixed on Karsey.
Hear me out.
AVs are for entertainment.
It's far from reality.
In a sense,
it's just like watching a movie.
That's a great excuse.
I was almost convinced.
Let's be honest here.
It's very different
from watching movies.
You just want the stimulation.
You're absolutely right.
You're absolutely right.
What's the reason you watch AVs?
Well…
Why do you watch them
when you have a girlfriend?
Why do you watch them?
They're two different things.
If you have high-end
yakiniku every day,
you're bound to
crave some McDonald's.
I've heard this excuse a lot.
I get it, Karsey.
I hear this all the time.
You're not McDonald's.
Are you sure?
Do the two of you watch AVs?
I don't speak Japanese.
He watches them for sure.
I don't watch them.
Do you know Mao Hamasaki?
Do you know Mao Hamasaki?
- No.
- She's an AV actress.
I've heard of her.
- I might have watched her videos too.
- You've watched her videos?
Seriously?
We interviewed
her the other day.
She takes a lot of pride
in her work as an AV actress.
She takes a lot of pride
in being an AV Actress.
She talked about
how the popularity of AVs in Japan
helped lower its sex crime rate
compared to that of other countries.
I thought that
was very interesting,
and it helped me
gain a new perspective.
I did some research on this
out of curiosity.
There isn't any factual data,
but a lot of people watch AVs
to fulfill their desires.
I guess there may
be a correlation.
In Japan, we say
the three basic desires
are appetite, sleep, and libido.
- That's true everywhere.
- Is it?
So if sexual desires play such an
important role in living a healthy life,
instead of keeping it in the shadows,
we should try to be more open about it.
Didn't the president
of TENGA say that?
Are you the president?
He said we needed
a healthy means to enjoy it.
It's not a bad thing.
- It's something natural.
- It's natural.
The thing is,
Si-kyung and I wouldn't usually
visit adult toy shops together.
We had never been to
an adult toy store in Korea
because we'd get recognized.
We went to one for the first time
when we came to Japan,
and there were so
many cool products.
Some of them had us thinking,
"What even is this?"
Do you often use adult products?
Are they popular
among younger generations?
Sex toys.
I've never used them.
- Have you?
- Yes.
I've used them in
the past with my ex.
Does it enhance pleasure?
Absolutely.
Do you have any recommendations
out of the ones you've used?
There's one that you can put in between
your genitals during intercourse,
and it vibrates
and makes it more pleasurable.
We got those as a gift
from the president of TENGA.
A vibrator that you can wear.
The president of TENGA gave us
a present that's similar.
In Japan, sexless relationships
are becoming more common.
Some people turn to sex toys
to satisfy their needs.
We used to be
sexless for a while.
That's when I realized
how important sex is.
Being in love and making love
are completely different things.
I felt really anxious
during that time.
Why did your relationship
become sexless?
It's been four years
since we've been together,
and Momo's really shy.
She rarely asks me
to sleep with her first.
I've always been the one to ask.
But there was a time
when the whole process
of getting prepared
and getting in the mood
felt like a hassle.
It's not that I didn't find her
attractive anymore.
I just felt like it
was too much work
- Did you find it cumbersome?
- to get us into the mood.
Has that happened?
I think sex is an important part
of a relationship
and I enjoy having sex.
So that's never happened to me.
But many Japanese
men have told me
that when their girlfriends
turn them down for sex,
it's quite a shock to them.
So they're afraid to ask again
because they're afraid
of getting turned down.
In Japan, women hardly ever ask men
to have sex first.
So a lot of couples
become sexless this way.
You've never said no, have you?
No, I haven't.
He always asks first,
so I think about
taking the initiative sometimes,
but I feel too embarrassed.
That's the same for men.
Really?
I had no idea men
get embarrassed too.
I guess we're not
exactly embarrassed.
but we wonder,
"Is she tired?"
"Am I the only one
that wants to do it?"
"Is she just going along with it for me
even though she's not in the mood?"
That's sweet.
You can't help but think that way
if you're always the one that's asking.
- That's what you mean, right?
- Yes.
Sometimes you want your girlfriend
to be the one to ask first.
I'm aware of that,
but I'm just too shy to say it.
When someone
who is as shy as you
makes an effort like that,
he'll be really touched.
Cats never come to you
even if you call them.
They're not like dogs.
But when a cat comes
and lets you touch them,
you'd cry tears of joy.
You're like,
"What's going on?"
See? He's
already smiling.
Or maybe
she could talk directly
with his little guy.
Why do you make me
translate this kind of stuff?
He treats his thing
as a separate entity.
He even named it.
His little guy.
How are you?
"How are you?"
From now on,
I'll try talking to his little guy.
I'll ask him how he's doing.
That would be frightening.
Do you guys have
any questions about Korea?
We've been together for four years,
so we naturally think about marriage.
And in Japan, when
we talk about marriage,
there's a term
called "around thirty."
- The suitable age for marriage?
- Yes.
People start thinking about
getting married around that age.
I heard that people are getting married
a lot later in life in Korea.
Is it not in Japan?
Maybe compared to the past,
but people use spouse hunting apps
and go to spouse
hunting parties.
SPOUSE HUNTING:
ACTIVITIES DESIGNED TO HELP FIND SPOUSES
People get together and check out
each other's backgrounds and stuff.
Do you have
spouse hunting parties in Korea?
We do have something similar.
We have businesses that make matches
for people looking to get married.
Like a blind date?
There are blind dates too.
It's a bit more formal.
You meet people that
your parents prefer.
I guess that makes sense.
If you went to
a spouse hunting party in Korea,
would it be too embarrassing
to tell anyone about it?
We don't have
spouse hunting parties at all.
The culture is different.
Why do you want to get married?
Why do you want to get married?
I'm looking forward
to changing my last name.
MARRIED COUPLES IN JAPAN ARE REQUIRED
TO HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME
WOMEN CHANGE THEIR LAST NAMES
TO THEIR HUSBAND'S IN MOST CASES
This is something
I tell my younger friends.
Something he always tells
his younger friends is…
If you want to live comfortably,
you should live alone.
But if you want to live happily,
you should get married.
If you want to live happily,
you should get married
But the journey to
happiness is not easy.
The journey to happiness
is not easy at all.
But once you get to
the end of that journey,
you'll find true happiness.
Words to live by.
I hope you two will
find your happiness.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Why did you get married?
I'm really curious.
Do you just know
when you meet the one?
He wanted to stay a bachelor.
He partied like crazy.
I bet you were popular.
He partied like there
was no tomorrow.
I was going to
stay a bachelor all my life.
My wife was a producer
at a broadcasting station.
His wife was a producer
at a broadcasting station.
One day, I heard she was
getting married to another producer.
That news broke my heart.
It broke his heart.
I got goosebumps.
I called her to
say congratulations,
but it wasn't her
getting married.
The person getting married
was someone else with the same name.
It's just like a Korean drama!
I got off the phone
and started dancing.
He danced by himself…
out of relief.
So that made you
realize how you felt.
You were certain.
If it weren't for that,
I'd still be a bachelor.
He'd still be single.
Why aren't you
married, Si-kyung?
She's getting back at him
for what he said to her earlier.
He told us a lot of
things but in the end…
How about going to a
spouse hunting party?
Why would I do that?
Why don't you try it out
while you're in Japan?
I'm sure there's someone
out there for me.
RISQUÉ BUSINESS: JAPAN
If we were just tourists here,
we never would have experienced
the things we experienced
and we never would have met
the people we met.
You know what I learned?
Whatever your occupation is,
doing your absolute best at it
- is truly a valuable thing.
- Right.
It made me reflect
on a lot of things.
You know how we said
Japan is a sexually liberated country?
Apparently, Taiwan
is just as great.
I only know their
food is amazing.
Let's get together in Taiwan.
We're not done?
Subtitle translation
by: Sophia Ha