Rhoda (1974–1978): Season 1, Episode 1 - Joe - full transcript

- MY NAME
IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.

I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX,
NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.

I'VE ALWAYS FELT
RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.

THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER
LIKING THAT LIKED ME

BACK WAS FOOD.

I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.

IT LASTED 17 YEARS.

I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.

I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.

MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS
ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.

I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF
THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.



MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO
THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY

FROM HOME.

EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO
MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD,

AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.

NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.

NEW YORK, THIS IS
YOUR LAST CHANCE.

[DOOR BUZZER]

- WHO IS IT?

- UH,
THIS IS CARLTON.

YOU KNOW, YOUR DOORMAN?

- YES,
I RECOGNIZE YOUR SLUR.

- THERE'S A LADY DOWN HERE,
SAYS SHE'S YOUR SISTER,

BUT YOU DON'T LOOK
ANYTHING LIKE HER.

- DON'T REMIND ME.



SEND HER UP.

- OK,
BUT I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE.

- RHODA?

- YEAH?

- RHODA, I'M OVER HERE.

- OH, THERE YOU ARE!

[BOTH TALKING AT ONCE]

- NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- NO,
IT'S NOT HEAVY.

- OH, BRENDA.

OH, LOOK AT THIS.

WHAT A--OH, IT'S
A GREAT PLACE.

OH, HEY, WHY DID
YOU DO ALL THIS?

YOU MADE A SIGN.

BALLOONS, EVERYTHING.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE REALLY HERE.

- HA HA HA.

SO, TELL ME EVERYTHING.

I WANT TO HEAR IT ALL.

WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH YOUR LIFE?

- OH,
YOU KNOW, THE SAME THINGS.

MOTHER PROBLEM, WEIGHT
PROBLEM, DATE PROBLEM.

- THAT'S TERRIFIC.

YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB PROBLEM.

- HEY! THAT'S RIGHT.

I GOT PROMOTED AT THE BANK.

NOW, I'M A TELLER.

- HEY, THERE YA GO.

THAT'S TERRIFIC,
THAT'S TERRIFIC.

- AND THE BEST THING ABOUT
BEING A BANK TELLER IS THAT

YOUR LEGS DON'T SHOW.

- BRENDA, WHY DO I GET
THIS FEELING I'M LOOKING

IN AN OLD MIRROR?

OH.

TAKE IT FROM ONE WHO WENT
THROUGH IT AND SURVIVED.

THINGS ARE GONNA GET BETTER.

- YEAH?
- OH, I PROMISE.

- SO, SO TELL ME.

WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON
IN YOUR LIFE?

- OH, LET'S SEE.
WHERE TO START?

UM...NOTHING.

- YEAH,
I WOULDN'T MIND DOING NOTHING

IF I LOOKED AS THIN
AS YOU DOING IT.

- THANKS, BUT THIS
DOES NOT COME EASY.

I MEAN,
BRENDA, ONE BITE OF A SARA LEE

ANYTHING, I INFLATE
LIKE A RUBBER RAFT.

- SARA LEE.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH
THEIR FROZEN CHEESECAKE?

- AN OLD FRIEND.

- HEY, COME ON,

I'LL SHOW YA AROUND
THE REST OF MY PLACE.

IT'LL TAKE
OUR MINDS OFF FOOD.

THIS IS MY KITCHEN.

- OH, HA HA.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- WHO IS IT?

- IT'S ONLY ME.

- JUST A MINUTE.

ARE YOU READY FOR MOM?

- YEAH, SURE.

I MEAN, IT SHOULD
BE INTERESTING.

I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED MA
AND JET LAG AT THE SAME TIME.

- OK,
HERE WE GO.

- RHODA.

AH.

- HOW YA DOING?

- AH. SO, HOW COME
YOU'RE NOT WEARING A BRA?

- MA,
I'M 33 YEARS OLD.

- ALL THE MORE REASON.

IF YOU WERE YOU 10,
YOU WOULDN'T NEED ONE.

BRENDA, I'M VERY
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU
LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

BUT THERE'S A DRUNK
SLEEPING IN YOUR LOBBY.

YOU OUGHT TO TELL
THE DOORMAN.

- THAT IS THE DOORMAN.

- WELL,
ANYWAY, IT'S NICE TO BE

WITH MY TWO GIRLS,
RHODA FAY AND BRENDA FAY.

- THAT'S NICE.
YOU KNOW, MA?

I ALWAYS WONDERED, IF YOU
LIKED THE NAME FAY SO MUCH,

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
NAME ONE OF US FAY?

- I DIDN'T LIKE IT THAT MUCH.

LISTEN, I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT
OF THINGS TO DO, SO YOU CAN

SEE THE FAMILY
AT YOUR CONVENIENCE.

- WELL...

- 6:30 TOMORROW.

- MA, GEE, TOMORROW--

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

- LISTEN, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER NOW.

I MEAN,
IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT.

JUST LET ME KNOW IN ENOUGH
TIME TO CANCEL THE CATERERS.

- RHODA, RHODA, IT'S
SOME GUY FOR YOU.

- YEAH? WHO KNOWS I'M HERE?

HELLO?

YES, IT IS.
WHO'S THIS?

STEPHEN?

I KNOW A LOT STEPHENS.

STEPHEN WHO?

STEPHEN SCHLOSSBERG?

I KNOW A LOT OF
STEPHEN SCHLOSSBERGS.

THIS GIVES YOU SOME IDEA OF
THE KIND OF LIFE I'VE HAD.

STEPHEN, WHERE DID YOU
GET MY NUMBER?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE
TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL?

I'M SORRY, STEPHEN, I
CANNOT GO OUT WITH YOU.

NO.

NO, I DON'T CARE
THAT YOU'RE 6'2".

UM, STEPHEN, I CAN'T GO OUT
WITH YOU UNLESS YOU TELL ME

EXACTLY WHO IT WAS THAT
GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER.

- YOU'LL LIKE HIM.

HE'S GOT LONG HAIR.

AND THIS TIME,
DON'T BE SO CHOOSY.

IF I WAS AS CHOOSY AS YOU,

YOU'D ONLY BE
3 YEARS OLD NOW.

HELLO, STEPHEN?

LISTEN, IF YOU'D LIKE TO STAY
OUT 'TIL 1 OR 2 SHOWING

MY DAUGHTER A GOOD TIME,
IT'S OK.

YEAH, WELL, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT GETTING INTO THE OFFICE

A LITTLE LATE.

NO, I'M SURE MY HUSBAND
WOULDN'T DOCK YOU.

HE'LL BE HERE AT 7:30.

- MM-HMM.

YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T GO
TO ACAPULCO ON MY VACATION.

BY COMING HERE,
I SAVED YOU

STEPHEN SCHLOSSBERG'S
AIR FARE.

- THAT'S AMAZING.

DO YOU REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN
PUTTING ON MAKEUP FOR AN HOUR

AND YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
YOU HAVE ANY MAKEUP ON?

- YEAH, THAT'S
THE WHOLE POINT.

IT'S A NATURAL LOOK.

THE MORE YOU PUT ON,
THE MORE NATURAL YOU LOOK.

- HOW DO YOU
KNOW WHEN TO STOP?

- WELL, WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE ALICE
COOPER, YOU WENT TOO FAR.

THERE.

I FEEL I OUGHT TO SIGN
THIS OR SOMETHING.

SO, BREN, YOU SURE YOU'RE
GONNA BE OK TONIGHT?

- SURE, I BABYSIT
EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT.

- YEAH?

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU HAVE A DATE?

- SO FAR, THAT
PROBLEM HASN'T COME UP.

- OH,
BRENDA, COME ON.

BELIEVE ME, IT'S
ALL GONNA WORK OUT.

NOW, LISTEN, TELL ME, WHERE
ARE YOU BABYSITTING TONIGHT?

MAYBE STEPHEN AND I
CAN GIVE YOU A LIFT.

- I DON'T NEED IT.

THE FATHER BRINGS
THE KID OVER HERE.

- OH.

- AND WHAT 'TIL YOU MEET HIM.

- REALLY SEXY.
- YEAH?

- HE'S THE KIND OF GUY--YOU
KNOW, UNDER HIS SUIT, THERE'S

THIS GREAT CHEST WITH
A MEDALLION ON IT.

I'VE BEEN TELLING HIM
A LOT ABOUT YOU.

I THINK HE'D GO OUT WITH YOU.

- THANKS A LOT FOR THE OFFER.

I APPRECIATE IT, BREN,
BUT I DRAW THE LINE.

MARRIED GUYS WITH MEDALLIONS.

DOUBLE LINE FOR
MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.

- HEY,
HE'S DIVORCED.

- NO LINE.

- I THINK YOU'LL LIKE HIM.

HE'S REALLY NICE.

GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR,
GENTLE, SENSITIVE.

- YEAH? WHAT DOES HE DO?

- HE DEMOLISHES BUILDINGS.

HE OWNS A WRECKING COMPANY.

- GOOD FOR HIM.

I GUESS HE LOOKS
AT NEW YORK AS ONE BIG JOB.

THANKS A LOT, KID, BUT
I ALREADY HAVE A DATE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- OH.

AT LEAST SCHLOSSBERG
IS PUNCTUAL.

- STEVE?

- NAH.

THIS IS DONNIE.

HE'S FOR ME.
HEY, DON.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- OH.

STEVE.

- NO.
- OH.

- HEY, DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME.

NOW, YOU'VE GOT TO FACE
UP TO THIS, DONNIE.

YOU'RE NOT TOO OLD
TO NEED A BABYSITTER.

- I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.

- NOW, LOOK.

I'M GOING OUT TONIGHT,
AND I WANT TO HAVE

A GREAT TIME.

NOW, IF I'M WORRIED ABOUT
WHAT YOU'RE DOING EVERY SINGLE

MINUTE, I WON'T BE HAVING
A GREAT TIME, WILL I?

YOU UNDERSTAND?

- I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.

- OH.

TALK TO HIM, WILL YA?

- HEY, DONNIE, THAT
"SESAME STREET."

IT'S A REALLY GREAT
SHOW, ISN'T IT?

- HEY,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK

DOWN TO HIM.

- WHADDAYA THINK OF
"MEET THE PRESS," DON?

I GOTTA TELL YA SOMETHING.

YOU NEED A BABYSITTER,
AND YOU GOT NO CHOICE.

- THAT'S THE WAY
TO TALK TO HIM.

HELLO, LINDA?

YEAH, LISTEN, I'M ON MY WAY
OVER THERE NOW, AND WE'RE LATE,

SO WHY DON'T YOU MEET
ME DOWN IN THE STREET?

THAT'S SILLY.

WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO
YOU DOWN IN THE STREET?

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

OK, I'LL MEET YOU
IN THE LOBBY.

THE LOBBY, TOO?

- ISN'T HE, UH--

- YES,
BRENDA, HE IS.

THAT IS AN EXCITING MAN.

THAT'S A VERY EXCITING
MAN THERE ON THE PHONE.

I WONDER WHAT'S
WRONG WITH HIM.

- YOU WANT ME TO FIX YOU UP?

- BRENDA, LIST--IF I WANTED TO
GO OUT WITH HIM, I WOULD JUST...

ASK HIM MYSELF.

- WOW.

- GOOD CHOICE OF WORD.

- OK, OK.

HELLO.

- HI.

I'M, UH, BRENDA'S
SISTER, RHODA.

JUST VISITING HERE.

I'M FROM MINNEAPOLIS.

- OH, YEAH, I COULD
TELL FROM YOUR ACCENT.

- HA HA. YOU'VE GOT
A GOOD EAR, THERE.

I MEAN, MOST PEOPLE THINK
I'M FROM SAINT PAUL.

AHH.
YOU WANNA GO OUT SOMETIME?

- UH, SURE.

- WOW.

- UH,
THE KNICKS ARE BACK

IN TOWN TOMORROW.

YOU WANNA GO?

- TOMORROW?

- YEAH.

- UH, SURE, YEAH.

TOMORROW IS PERFECT.

I'M NOT DOING
ANYTHING TOMORROW.

TELL MA TO CANCEL
THE CATERERS.

- GREAT.

I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7.

- GOOD.

- OK,
DONNIE, I'LL SEE YA LATER.

AND LISTEN, IF YOU HAVE TO GO,
UH, BE SURE YOU LIFT

UP THE SEAT.

- THANK YOU.

- UH,
HEY, UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

- JOE.

- OK.

- WOW.

YOU ARE FANTASTIC.

I AM REALLY GONNA LEARN
A LOT FROM YOU.

- BRENDA, I MEAN, I, RHODA
MORGENSTERN, JUST ASKED THIS

TERRIFIC GUY OUT, AND, UH,
HE SAID "SURE."

OH, I THANK YOU,
"MS. MAGAZINE."

I NEVER COULD HAVE
DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.

WHOO!

- JOE, I HAD
THE GREATEST TIME.

- WELL, ME, TOO.

I MEAN, I HAVEN'T
FELT THIS WAY--

- YEAH.
ME, TOO.

- ME, TOO.

- I MEAN, I GUESS
WE JUST SORT OF--

- WE SURE DID.
- YEAH.

- AND WE
HAVEN'T EVEN, UM--

- I KNOW.

- LOOK.

SINCE YOU ASKED ME OUT FIRST,
I WANTED TO ASK YOU THIS

BEFORE YOU BEAT ME TO IT.

- YEAH?

- HOW LONG ARE YOU
GONNA BE IN TOWN?

- 12 MORE DAYS, WHICH GIVES
US A LOT OF TIME TO SEE EACH

OTHER, IF YOU'D LIKE TO
GO OUT WITH ME.

- YOU DID IT AGAIN.

YOU BEAT ME TO IT.

HA HA HA.

- SORRY.

- OK,
I'LL CALL YA TOMORROW

AND WE'LL SET IT UP.
ALL RIGHT?

- GREAT, THAT'S TERRIFIC.

- GOOD NIGHT.

- GOOD NIGHT.

- I FORGOT MY KID.

- HELLO, ROY?

YEAH, THIS IS
RHODA MORGENSTERN.

YEAH, ROY, THE REASON I'M
NOT AT WORK THIS MORNING IS

BECAUSE I'M STILL IN NEW YORK.

I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE COLD.

YEAH, AND I'M
ALL STOPPED UP.

NOW, THE DOCTOR SAID IF I FLY,
WITH THE CHANGE IN CABIN

PRESSURE, SOMETHING VERY
EMBARRASSING COULD HAPPEN.

THAT'S RIGHT, ROY. [SNIFF]

NEVER TOO SICK
TO MAKE A JOKE.

BYE-BYE.

YEAH.

OH, AND THANK YOU
FOR YOUR CONCERN.

BUT I DON'T REALLY MEAN IT,
BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT MYSELF

ANOTHER WEEK IN NEW YORK.

- HEY!

- HA HA HA.

I KNOW,
WAIT 'TIL I TELL JOE, BRENDA.

- OH,
THAT'S GREAT.

- HEY,
LISTEN, HOW DID I SOUND?

WAS I NASAL ENOUGH?

- ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU SOUNDED SO REAL I
THINK I'M CATCHING IT.

- IT WAS THE ROBE, KID.

REALLY.

I COULD NEVER HAVE SOUNDED
THAT SICK WITHOUT THE FEEL

OF FLANNEL.

[DOOR BUZZER]

- YEAH?

- UH,
YEAH, THIS IS CARLTON,

YOUR DOORMAN.

I'VE GOT A SHORT, RED-HEADED
WOMAN DOWN HERE, SAYS SHE'S

YOUR MOTHER.

SH--SHOULD I SEND HER UP?

- IT'S MA.
WHADDAYA THINK?

- SEND HER UP.

IT'LL BE NICE TO SEE HER.

- SURE, NICE FOR YOU.

YOU'RE GOING OUT.

I GUESS YA BETTER SEND HER UP.

- I CAN'T FIND HER.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- NEVER MIND.

SHE FOUND US.

- OH,
RHODA, I'M SO GLAD I CAUGHT

YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT
FOR THE AIRPORT.

YOU SOUNDED SO SAD ON
THE PHONE LAST NIGHT.

I KNEW THERE HAD TO
BE SOMETHING WRONG.

YOU'RE NOT USUALLY THAT SAD
WHEN YOU SAY GOOD-BYE TO ME.

- OH, MA.

WELL, I'M NOT SAD ANYMORE,
BECAUSE I'M STAYING ANOTHER

WEEK IN NEW YORK.

- OH, GOOD.

- YEAH.

- WELL,
MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER

AGAIN, THEN.

TWICE WOULD BE NICE.

- GOOD, MA.
SURE WE'LL DO IT.

- WHEN?

- OH,
MA, LET'S JUST LEAVE IT

LOOSE, HUH?

I MEAN, WE'LL SET IT
UP LATER, I PROMISE.

I'M KINDA LATE RIGHT NOW.

I'M SORT OF IN A HURRY.

THERE'S SOMEONE I GOTTA SEE.

BYE.

- AH.

IT'S NICE HAVING HER HERE.

WHO IS SHE SEEING?

- A FRIEND.

- NOT THAT GUY WITH
THE FUNNY NAME, IS IT?

- JOE?

- YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.

IT'S NOT GOOD FOR HER TO SEE
THE SAME MAN NIGHT AFTER NIGHT

AFTER NIGHT.

- WHAT ABOUT YOU AND DAD?

- IT'S NOT GOOD.

SHE SHOULD BE
SEEING OTHER PEOPLE.

- OH, MA.

YOU COMPLAIN WHEN SHE'S SEEING
ONE GUY, YOU COMPLAIN WHEN

SHE'S SEEING A LOT OF GUYS,
YOU COMPLAIN WHEN SHE'S NOT

SEEING ANY GUYS.

THERE'S JUST NO PLEASING YOU.

- WHY ARE YOU TALKING
TO ME LIKE THIS?

- LIKE WHAT?

- LIKE WE WERE...EQUAL?

YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME
THE WAY YOU USED TO.

IT'S THESE TWO WEEKS WITH
RHODA BEING HERE THAT'S DOING

IT, ISN'T IT?

- OH, MA.

- I LEFT THE BRONX AT DAWN
TO COME DOWN AND PAY A VISIT.

HAVING TO GET PAST
THE DERELICTS IN THE SUBWAY,

IN THE STREETS--NOT TO
MENTION YOUR DOORMAN.

- MA?

IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME
FEEL GUILTY ANYMORE JUST

BECAUSE YOU CAME OVER HERE.

NO MORE.

- ALL RIGHT.

WHAT IF I SAID "I'M LEAVING
NOW, BECAUSE I HAVE A DAUGHTER

THAT I LOVED AND SACRIFICED
FOR ALL MY LIFE, WHO DOESN'T

WANT TO SEE HER MOTHER?"

- THAT WOULD DO IT.

- HEY!

WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

- HIYA. I'M HERE.
HOW ABOUT THAT?

- OH!

BUT WHY?

I MEAN, WHY AREN'T
YOU IN MINNEAPOLIS?

I SAID GOOD-BYE
TO YOU LAST NIGHT.

- BOY,
DID YOU EVER.

SO, THIS MORNING,
I CALLED IN SICK.

- WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER?

- OH, UH, UH...

THIS IS, UH, RHODA.

THE NICE LADY I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT.

THIS IS NOLAN ARTHUR,
MY PARTNER.

- OH.

- HE TAUGHT ME
EVERYTHING I KNOW.

- NICE TO MEET YA.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHO TO THANK.

- SO, UH, HOW LONG
ARE YOU GONNA STAY?

- OH,
ANOTHER WEEK, JOE.

WE COULD BE TOGETHER ALL WEEK.

ISN'T THAT GREAT?

- WELL, NOT REALLY.

I'M GOING OUT OF TOWN
TONIGHT ON A JOB.

- AW, WELL, THEN
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

- NO,
I'M GONNA BE OUT OF TOWN

UNTIL FRIDAY.

- FRIDAY?

NOW, WAIT.

THAT ONLY GIVES US NIGHT
BEFORE I HAVE TO LEAVE.

- I CAN'T HELP IT.

IT'S WORK.

- BUT I GOT OUT OF MY
WORK TO BE WITH YOU.

SEE, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU
WISHED I WASN'T LEAVING,

AND NOW I'M NOT LEAVING.

SO, UH, COULDN'T YOU TAKE
OFF A COUPLE OF DAYS?

I MEAN, CALL YOUR BOSS.

TELL HIM YOUR SICK.

- WHO AM I GONNA CALL? ME?

COME ON, I CAN'T DO THAT.

I'VE GOT RESPONSIBILITIES.

- OH, BOY. HMM.

I RISKED MY JOB FOR A FRIDAY.

THAT'S TERRIFIC.

- HEY,
I'M SORRY, RHODA, BUT I'M NOT

GONNA LET YOU MANIPULATE
ME INTO FEELING GUILTY

ABOUT WORKING JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE BEING POSSESSIVE.

- HOLY SMOKE.

MANIPULATE,

GUILTY AND POSSESSIVE,
ALL IN THE SAME SENTENCE?

IT'S A GRAND SLAM.

FORGET FRIDAY.

- HEY!

- YEAH, I SUDDENLY
GOT HOMESICK, HERE.

- WHERE ARE YA GOING?

- NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR.

- HEY, COME ON!
- NICE MANIPULATING YOU.

- HEY!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

- SO, THAT'S IT.

THE END OF AN ALMOST
PERFECT VACATION.

- YOU KNOW, I REALLY FEEL
BAD ABOUT YOU LEAVING.

- I KNOW, I CAN TELL.

WHAT ARE YOU EATING?

- I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S HOW DEPRESSED I AM.

- WHAT IS IT?
- SOME KIND OF PIE.

- OH,
BRENDA, LISTEN.

WE GOTTA FACE IT. I MEAN,

THIS TRIP WAS BOUND TO COME
TO AN END SOONER OR LATER.

- I KNOW, BUT WHAT ABOUT
JOE AND YOU, AND YOU AND ME?

RHODA, YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE
A PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME.

- OH, BRENDA.

- I DON'T WANNA GET YOU UPSET.

- I'M NOT UPSET.

YOU GOT ANOTHER
FORK FOR THAT?

HMM.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

- WHAT?

- THIS IS BEEF POT PIE.

- A LA MODE.

- I KNOW.
BRENDA, LISTEN.

WE COULD BOTH SIT HERE AND EAT
UNTIL WE'RE A COUPLE OF SUMO

WRESTLERS, OK?

THAT'S NOT GONNA
ACCOMPLISH A THING.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- THAT'S MA TO TAKE ME
TO THE AIRPORT.

- OK.

OK.

OK.

I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR A LONG FIGHT.

I'LL JUST MAKE THIS SHORT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!

- THAT'S IT, HUH?

- I'M PARKED IN
A TOW-AWAY ZONE.

- WELL,
I'LL MAKE IT SHORT,

TOO, BECAUSE I'M
CATCHING A PLANE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

- I CAN SEE YOU GUYS WANT
TO CHAT, SO I'LL JUST LEAVE.

I CAN HEAR YOU, BUT I
PROMISE I WON'T LISTEN.

- JOE,
THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.

- WHAT ISN'T GONNA WORK?

- I DON'T KNOW, US.

- WHY NOT?
- I DON'T KNOW.

- WHY?
- I DON'T KNOW.

- OH,
I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA HAVE

TIME FOR THIS.

NOW, LOOK, I DROVE
HERE ACROSS TOWN.

I WENT THROUGH RED LIGHTS.

I ALMOST SIDESWIPED A BUS,
JUST TO TELL YOU, "I REALLY

DON'T KNOW YOU YET, BUT IF
YOU LEAVE TOWN, I DON'T KNOW,

I'M GONNA GO CRAZY."

- WOW.

- OK, JOE, I'M GONNA TELL YA
WHERE I'M AT.

AT YOUR OFFICE TODAY,
I WAS REALLY HURT.

WHEN YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T
SEE ME, I FIGURED IT WAS

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T
WANT TO SEE ME.

WELL, I'M TIRED OF BEING HURT.

I REALLY DON'T
LIKE BEING HURT.

- HEY.
- AND, SO--

- IF YOU DIDN'T NEED ME,
YOU WOULDN'T BE HURT.

IF I DIDN'T NEED YOU,
I WOULDN'T BE HURT.

SO, IN A FUNNY WAY, I'M KINDA
GLAD WE'RE HURTING EACH OTHER.

- THAT'S CRAZY.

I MEAN, THAT SCARES ME WHEN
I HEAR THAT, JOE,

BECAUSE, I CARE ABOUT YOU MORE
THAN ANY OTHER MAN I HAVE

EVER CARED ABOUT IN MY
LIFE, AND I'M AFRAID.

I'M NOT GETTING ENOUGH
OF THAT BACK.

- OK,
OK, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME

OF THAT BACK.

YOU WANNA KNOW
HOW MUCH I CARE?

A MINUTE AGO, I LOOKED OUT
THAT WINDOW AND I SAW THEM

TOWING AWAY MY CAR...

AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

THAT'S HOW MUCH I CARE.

- WOW.

- RHODA.

STAY.

PLEASE.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE STAYING,
OR ARE YOUR ARMS TIRED?

- BOTH.

- HA HA HA.

- YOU LIKE ME, HUH?

OK, JOE.

- NOW THAT WE'RE STRAIGHT...

I MEAN, WE ARE
STRAIGHT, AREN'T WE?

- YEAH, WE'RE STRAIGHT.

- OK,
I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

- YEAH?

- I LIED ABOUT THEM
TOWING AWAY MY CAR.

- NO, YA DIDN'T.