Resident Alien (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 13 - Harry, a Parent - full transcript

Previously, on
"Resident Alien"...

Hello, Harry.
I'm Goliath.

I needed to send you a message.

Look, I need more information
on this alien race

that you said is trying
to take over the Earth.

Here I go again, dragging
another guy into my mess.

You still got it, Coach.

You know, the Hard pack
tournament's coming up.

- It's my knee.
- Ew!

I've been training a lot.
I think I overdid it.

This package
is from Violinda.



Harry, look at this.

It was just you and me there.
No one else was there.

This makes no sense...

unless you're Goliath.

♪ No, I can't
forget tomorrow ♪

♪ When I think
of all my sorrows ♪

I knew it.
I knew it!

Honey, no!
Honey, stop!

Harry Nilsson's
"Without You"...

Relax.

Hey. Hey!

Honey, stop!
Don't hurt him!

♪ I can't give anymore ♪

♪ I can't live... ♪



Brown Bird's "Bilgewater" plays...

Laid back acoustic strumming...

*RESIDENT ALIEN*
Season 02 Episode 13

Episode Title: "Mining the Mind's Mines"
Aired on: September 08, 2022.

It was cold
in the Ice-Wind Desert.

But it was also lonely.

I was left there to die.

Alone.

I did not care at the time,

but thinking about it now...

It was very painful.

All my siblings
had already died.

I had killed them, of course.

And how did that
make you feel?

Having an absent father?

Mm.

It makes me feel vulnerable.

And how does that
make you feel?

Like you haven't
been listening

to a single word I've said.

And how...

I have been listening
to several words.

Good morning, sir.

I got you a little something.

Holy shit,
a dinosaur egg!

What?

Oh, I'm sorry, Deputy.
I got too excited.

Now, if it's not
a dinosaur egg,

you're gonna think
I don't like it,

but I'ma keep an open mind,
okay?

Aw, a Patience snow globe.

Thank you, Deputy.

You got a little,
mini town hall here.

Look at that...
A little, mini phone booth.

I wonder who's in this car?

Maybe it's Detective
Lena Torres coming to visit.

Okay, all right,
I see what this is.

Patience snow globe,
matchmaking...

You're trying
to get me to stay.

Now, see, I would think
if anybody was happy

about me moving,
it'd be you,

because then if I moved,

then, you know, maybe
you could be sheriff someday.

Me?

A sheriff... really?

Although I can't help
but notice

that UFO book on your desk.

You're gonna have to get rid
of some of these silly hobbies

if you want to be
taken seriously enough

to run this department.

UFOs aren't a hobby

as much as they are
objects in the sky.

No, I get it.
We all got our fantasies.

I mean, hell,
in another life,

I could have been one of those
Renaissance Faire guys, right?

But I can't be
pulling people over

wearing no suit of armor
on no horse.

And I damn sure
can't write them no ticket

with no jousting stick
or turkey leg

and a jug of mead in my hand.

Well, it's hard to argue
with that logic.

Doing a good job keeping up
for somebody who doesn't train.

It's the only way
I could spend time with you

these days.

I'll let you off easy.
We can walk a little bit here.

Let me off easy?

You're the one who's limping.

I went pretty hard
at the gym earlier today.

Maybe you remember.
Oh, that's right.

You were still sleeping.

Well, maybe you should
go a little less hard.

You know,
your body speaks to you.

It knows what it can handle.

Yeah.
Key word: My body.

Okay, let's just
keep things light.

Sorry.

Sorry, I just got to push to
get ready for the tournament.

It's stressing me out.

It's kind of my one shot

to prove I can still kick ass,
you know?

You're gonna kill it.

I just don't want you
to get hurt

because you pushed it too far.

I have to push.

If I'm gonna make it
through the qualifiers, I...

It's just my knee
is compensating

for my old ankle injury,
all right?

It's not a big deal.

Well, let's put
some snow on it.

We'll get the swelling down.

Oh, yeah, good idea.

Like, just stop parenting me.

Wow, D'arcy.

I'm... I'm sorry, Elliot.

I'm sorry.

Just, let's...
Let's keep running.

I think I need to go home.

I'll see you later.

Hey.

Ben Hawthorne says
he doesn't want

to pay for therapy
this morning.

Apparently, you weren't
listening to him?

I wasn't.
He is boring.

Look, I don't blame you
for being distracted.

You know, you just found out
you were this Goliath guy,

which also makes you father
to an alien baby

that was kidnapped,
which is kind of a lot.

I'm only distracted because
the alien baby was taken away

before he could tell me

which alien race
is taking over the Earth.

I do not care about
this father-baby stuff.

Harry, it's human nature
to care about your offspring.

It is human nature,
not alien nature.

We do not care
if our children die,

as long as they die in a ditch

and not in the road

where they will make it bumpy
for our vehicles.

Selfish children.

Okay, look,
I'm still confused.

The future you sent the
past you a message, but how?

Do you have a time machine?

Wait.
Can we go back in time?

There is no such thing
as a time machine.

The only effective way
to travel through time

is through... is through...

There is no word for it.

Uh...

In English,

a portal, I guess, is the
closest thing you could say.

Mm.

But you would
not understand it.

Try me.
Portals. Go on.

A portal is a split

in the fabric of time.

Okay.

Uh, well,

the fabric of time,

and it is like a...

Sort of like a poly-wool blend.

As the accelerating atoms
speed up,

it causes the fabric to peel
sort of nubbins because...

Harry, you don't know what
you're talking about, do you?

No, I don't.

My people have
never figured it out.

I guess I went
through an existing portal

left by another alien race.

What?

There are only two alien
species that use portals.

The Greys.

But it is not them.

They have no use for humans,

except to probe
their elimination holes.

But there is one more.

Who?

Alpha Draconians.

They use portals.

Are they dangerous?

Not the same way
as Greys are,

but they are good
at disguising themselves.

They can look human.

God!

What the hell?

Were you just picking my nose?

Alpha Draconians, their
nostrils are pleasure zones,

so if you were
an Alpha Draconian,

then you would've liked that!

Well, I didn't like it,
and if you do it again,

I will break your finger.

Obviously, you are human,
so you passed!

- Hey, honey.
- Hey.

Missed you this morning
with your early therapy,

so I brought you a juice box...

- Ah!
- And a sandwich.

Thank you.
I am dying of thirst.

Uh-huh.

- Throw it out.
- Oh.

Oh, hey, you know
how we've been

so excited about
the resort moving in?

- Uh-huh.
- Well, now I'm thinking

maybe it's not such
a great idea after all.

What? Why not?

I just think Patience
is really great the way it is.

Maybe a resort
would change it too much.

Wow, look at you.

"Pretty great the way it is"?

I never thought
you'd say that about Patience.

I know.
I guess I'm a convert.

- Hmm.
- Okay, I'm headed to the gym.

Love you.

Love you too.

We're still doing
the resort, though.

- What?
- The resort.

You know, I, uh...

I think it's good for the town.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I know,
but you know,

I don't think
we should support it, so...

Yeah, I think we should.

Ah.

Okay.

I see what you're doing.

After your presentation,
I told you

to stick by your guns
no matter who is against you.

- Mm-hmm.
- That's... I get it.

You're doing great.
It's great.

But it's me, you know,
so it's different.

Mm, how?

Because I'm not
for it anymore.

Oh, I see.

But I am.

Yeah.

So...

Well, I guess we'll just
have to agree to disagree.

I agree.

That's great.

Ah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

All right.

- Love you.
- Love you.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Ow, ow, ow.
- Oh, my God.

What happened, Jujube?

Oh, I had
to give Kevin a bath.

He got the squirts
from an egg roll

he found under the couch.

I need more thread.

I only got enough
for "attacked by a cat,"

not for "bathes a cat."

Don't move.

Don't cats usually
lick themselves clean?

Yeah, but Kevin hates
the taste of Oil of Olay.

Hey, oh,
while you're up,

I need a refill
on these pain meds.

Are you serious, dude?

That was a one-month supply.

You should have plenty left.

Well, if you're saying they
should make the tiny writing

on the side larger
so I can read the amounts,

I agree with you.

What am I,
a bird of prey?

- Hey, D'arce.
- Oh, what's up?

- What are you doing here?
- Oh, nothing.

Just coming to see you.

Want to make sure you're coming
to my qualifiers tomorrow.

- Oh.
- Yup!

Talking to Asta.

Oh, tell her I said hi!

I can hear you, Judy. Hi.

That was fast.

She doesn't really care.
You know that, right?

Anyway, I invited my parents.

They'd love to see you,
make you feel worthless.

Oh, of course.
I wouldn't miss it.

Ooh, I could dig out
your Team D'arcy hat

that I made
for your Olympic trials.

How do you still have that?

Ooh, Harry Vanderspeigle.

Buddy, you want to come
to my event tomorrow?

Trying to pack the stands
with my biggest fans.

Then I will not come
because I am not your fan.

She is being oddly friendly,
so be polite.

Please, thank you.

I am not your fan.

- You're welcome.
- Okay.

Well, I guess
you don't want to eat

the best churros in Colorado.

I am a fan of churros.

Good.
Come on, we'll road trip.

You can get your mind
off things...

If there's anything
your mind is on.

I will go,
and you will buy me

hot grease-fried sugar sticks
that are shaped like okra.

Yay!

- Great.
- Okay.

- See you tomorrow.
- Okay.

Both: Team D'arcy!

Team D'arcy!

I was in it.
Three of us.

Hey.

So psyched
you're coming tomorrow.

Yay, friends.

Say, offhand... I was
just thinking this now...

What if you brought your doctor
bag thingy with you tomorrow,

in case I need,
like, I don't know,

a cortisone shot
before the race?

Also, I need you to refill
this prescription for me.

I dropped a bunch
down the drain.

Such a klutz.

If you are such a klutz,

then maybe
you should not be competing

in major sporting events.

Then you would not
need any pain pills.

You should be careful.

These can be very addictive.

Well, you make a good point.

We should probably all
just stay home tomorrow,

and then nobody
gets any churros.

No!

I need the churros.

I need the pills.

Oh, yes.

Oh, huh.

♪ Let the water rise ♪

♪ Lying on my back ♪

You knew where my mother was?

What?

When I was
in the third grade,

you knew where she was,
and you never told me?

The address was old,
even then.

She doesn't live there.

But it's an address.

It's a piece of her.

It doesn't matter
how small it is.

Maybe if I would
have found her,

and maybe...
Maybe she would have wanted me.

I'm sorry.

I didn't want
to get your hopes up.

I know.

♪ Watching stars collide ♪

♪ Watching stars ♪

Do I finally get
to meet Elliot?

He's coming today, right?

Uh, probably not.

Are we there yet?

Harry, we told you
the last time that you asked,

we will tell you as soon
as we're getting close.

Wait, he's not coming
to cheer you on?

What?
He knows about it, right?

Yeah, he knows.

I've been training my ass off.

I just don't think he's really
in the cheering-on mood.

I sort of pushed him away
the other day,

and he's probably
already swiping right

on some dental hygienist
from Denver

with health insurance
and a three-year plan.

That's a lot to unpack there.

Did you bring snacks?

Yep.

- Okay.
- Cereal.

Anyway, we know
you do this, but...

Yum!

I really felt like

maybe Elliot was worth
breaking your pattern.

I have to urinate.

I need to urinate.

Why do you sound like C-3PO?

Just say you have to pee.

- I have to pee-3PO.
- Wow.

- Ooh, that was good.
- All right.

You gotta whiz.
We got it.

- Go number one.
- Yeah, drain the lizard.

- Free to pee? You and me.
- Tinkle.

Make water.

Make water?
That's so gross!

Yes, all of those things!

Okay, well, you just
have to hold it, all right?

The adults are talking.

Can't you just play
"I Spy" or something?

- Ooh, yes.
- What is "I Spy"?

You pick something you see,
and then you say,

"I spy with my little eye
something,"

and then we all have
to guess what it is.

Go for it.

I spy with my little eye

a way to contact
the Alpha Draconians.

Pull the car over right now,

or I will make water
on the floor!

- Okay!
- Jesus.

Okey-doke! Ooh!

Why is he going
so far away from the car?

Well, if his weenis

is anything like
his back-seat attitude,

he's probably self-conscious
about its childlike appearance.

Oh, hey!

Oh, my God.

You found it.
Incredible.

But not as incredible
as this other thing I found.

Who's Mary-Ellen Taylor?

Mary-Ellen, my mom.

Oh, my God.

Where was this?

I found it
under a box in Dan's closet.

This is in Taos.
This is super close to here.

Yeah, but she doesn't
live there anymore.

But maybe somebody does
who knows something about her.

You should go.

I don't know.

I mean, I...
I guess it's possible.

Wouldn't that be so amazing

if I could find out more about
my mom after all this time?

Like, even if it's just like,

"Yeah, she once sat
under that tree."

I mean, amazing.
Any tree.

She was probably
a lot like me, right?

Maybe?

Young,
in a difficult relationship.

I mean, maybe she had no choice
but to give me up, right?

Maybe she was protecting me.

If she's really like me,
she's regretted it ever since.

How many numbers is he going?

Both:
♪ You gotta be cool ♪

♪ You gotta be calm ♪

♪ You gotta stay together ♪

♪ All I know,
all I know ♪

♪ Love will save the day ♪

♪ Herald
what your mother said ♪

♪ Read the books
your father read ♪

♪ Try to solve the puzzles
in your own sweet... ♪

What song are we singing?

What the hell
happened to you?

And why are you
all grassy and sweaty?

I was peeing...

and I fell down in the grass.

But not in the pee grass!

In the dry grass.

- And then, I exercised.
- Ugh.

Oh, all right.

Well, I hope
you didn't pee on yourself.

I'm so sick of cleaning pee
out of that back seat.

- I don't want to do it again.
- Again?

I don't want
to talk about it.

Humans do not realize
what crop circles really are...

Alien emojis.

The complex circle
on the right

stands for my middle finger.

Welcome to the
Hard pack qualifying rounds!

Taking her practice run
right now

is World Cup champion
D'arcy Bloom.

Yeah!
Way to go, D'arcy!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah, D'arcy!
Go, baby!

Yeah, you're a baby!

You have to go!

Wow.

Aah!

Whoo!

Are you kidding me?
You're amazing!

Oh, I feel great.

You guys must be
bringing me good luck.

Oh, your parents
aren't here yet.

Oh, they never
come for warm-ups.

They'll be here later.

Hey, could you go
grab me a churro?

I'm at your service, my lady.

I'm like your pit crew today.

One churro coming up.

Get me one!

Hey, buddy,
I need you

to hook me up
with a cortisone shot, okay?

My knee is killing me.

I should not
give this to you.

The Internet says

the shot prohibits
inflammatory response

but can mask further damage
and re-injury,

resulting in permanent damage.

- Oh, it does.
- Mm-hmm.

But it also says that
D'arcy smashing you in the face

with her skis could
cause permanent damage, so...

Give me the shot.

You would make a good opponent
on the battlefield.

- You look like a biter.
- Mm-mm.

I'm a hair puller.

It also causes mood swings.

Maybe you will swing back
to being nice.

Ah, ow.

D'arce?

Where are you guys?
D'arce?

- Oh, D'arce.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Oh.

- Where were you?
- Oh.

I was just
showing Harry around.

I'm very interested
in sports.

Uh, go, team.

High-fives!

Keep your eyes on your balls.

Okay.

Oh, you have plenty of time
before first round.

You should go grab
a cider or something.

Oh, are you sure?

Yeah, go for it.

Okay.
Pit crew on hold.

- I'll see you later, superstar.
- See ya.

Bye.

No! No, never that!
Never that!

D'arcy number one.

D'arcy is number one.

He just fell.

He'll be fine in a day or two.

He just needs
to keep his fluids up.

If he had cut back
on the caffeine,

like I told him last time,

he probably
wouldn't even be here.

You take away my coffee,
I might as well be dead.

And you're not supposed
to shame the patient.

Look, I told all the nurses
they could shame

and degrade you
if it keeps you alive.

Go on, Ellen,
tell him how bad it is

to be buttering his meat.

Try blue cheese butter
next time.

It's even better.

Look who has flowers.

Aw, you didn't have
to buy me those.

Oh, I didn't.
These are from Lena Torres.

Well, I'll be damned.
You were right.

You know I'm always right.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What are you two up to?

You always right about what?

Detective Torres
has the hots for you.

- Liv called it.
- Oh, God.

How often do y'all talk
about this crap, huh?

What, you got
a secret sewing circle

or something
I don't know about?

Okay.
We're just having fun.

It doesn't matter, anyway,

since you're
moving back to D. C.

- D. C.?
- Uh, it's nothing, Pops.

It's just something
that I was considering

that I, uh, shared privately
with the deputy.

You never said
it was private.

Everything I say
to you is private.

If I noticed you was on fire
and I told you,

I'd expect you
to keep it to yourself.

But then I'd die.

You'd die with honor.

I'm part
of this decision too,

- and I'm not moving anywhere.
- What?

You're the main one
always complaining

about everything
you miss about D. C.

I enjoy complaining.

Keeps my heart rate up.

Most important,

as hard as you try to hide it,

I can tell you're happy here.

You don't even know
what you're talking about.

You're afraid to be happy.

That don't even make sense.
I'm already happy.

I'm the happiest person I know.

I'm so happy all day long,

I whistle hallelujah out
of the crack of my ass!

I've never heard that.

Deputy Fred once did a fart

that sounded like
the opening chord

of "A Hard Day's Night,"
though.

Thank you.

Okay, I found a bunch
of stuff online

- about the Alpha Draconians.
- Mm-hmm.

They're a lizard people,
so, what,

we look for them
under rocks or something?

Also, are they poisonous
like Komodo dragons?

You do not need to worry.
I took care of it.

Wait, what do you mean
you took care of it?

When we stopped earlier,

that was on latitude 37 north.

It holds a specific energy
that amplifies alien signals.

I left them a note.

I thought you were peeing.

I did that too.

Okay, well,
what if they don't respond?

And how are they
gonna respond to that?

They will respond.

They are
egotistical chicken dicks.

Okay, well, now that
we've got some time to kill

before D'arcy's race,
we might as well spend it

worrying about what
some evil aliens are gonna do

now that you pissed them off.

Mm.

Actually...

I have another idea.

Can I help you?

Uh, hi.
Yeah, sorry to bother you.

This is gonna sound crazy,
but, um,

by any chance,
do you know a woman

who may have lived here
a long time ago

by the name
of Mary-Ellen Taylor?

What do you want?

Um, I apologize
for knocking out of the blue.

We were just in the area,
and I thought I'd take a shot.

I'm just looking
for any information

you may have about her
or where she went.

Like I said,
what information do you want?

I'm Mary-Ellen.

Look, I never set out
to be a mother.

And I wouldn't have
been a good one.

I totally get that,
and you were young.

Babies are expensive.

We live in America, sweetie.

Plenty of poor people
raise kids.

- Yeah.
- I'm just not the type.

Yeah, I mean, I was 16
when I got pregnant.

I couldn't imagine
taking care of a little life.

I could barely manage my own.

I liked my life
the way it was.

Yeah.

Still do.

So you've got a kid?

Her name is Jay.

Asta gave her up because
her husband was punchy.

I was in a bad relationship,

but that's done.

Jay is in my life now...

sort of.

I'll show you.

Excuse me a second.

Okay.

Hello?

Well, hello to you too.

Mm-hmm.

5:00 at blackjack.

No you won't, you asshole.

No, you haven't paid me back

since the last time
I spotted you.

Marty, hey, look,
I got to call you back.

I got some people here.

Yeah. No, just give me,
like, five minutes.

All right.

Sorry about that.

He's a pain in my ass.

Ah, so this is Jay.

That is Asta's daughter.

You're supposed
to say something,

like, "she is pretty,"
or "she looks just like you."

Oh, it's fine.

I thought you said
you gave her up.

Uh, yeah, I... I did.

So then she's not
your daughter, right?

Uh, thank you so much
for the water, Mary-Ellen.

Um, we should go.

I know you need
to be somewhere.

You can take another cookie
if you want.

I don't have much
of a sweet tooth.

You know...

Excuse me.

Marty, what did I just say?

What?

No, it's all right.

They're about to leave.

Nah, nothing important.

It was... can you hold on a sec?

Was there something else?

Nothing important.
As a doctor...

smoke more.

I do not care
about my alien baby,

even though I have discovered
it is my offspring.

Asta's mother is just like me.

She would abandon Asta
in the Ice-Wind Desert

and never think of her again,

but Asta does not need
to know that.

It is only natural.

You were right to care
about my alien baby.

When you share genetic material
with a creature,

you cannot help
but care for it,

no matter how much
you pretend not to.

I know
what you're doing, Harry.

What am I doing?

You're trying
to make me feel better.

My mother
doesn't care about me.

You know, I always had
this hole in my past.

It was all a mystery.

Who was she?

You know,
what would she be like?

At least now,
the hole is filled.

Filled with garbage.

She is garbage.

She is a bag of shit.

Aw, that's sweet,
calling my mom shit.

She is poop.

Doo-doo.

- Turd.
- Caca.

- Crap.
- Number two.

Number three 'cause she's
all of them added together!

Thanks, Harry.

Next on the course,

for her final run of the day,

D'arcy Bloom!

All right.

All right, Bloom, you got this.
Do your thing.

Athlete, are you ready?

Three, two, one, go!

The Breeders' "Saints" plays...

♪ I like all
the different people ♪

♪ I like sticky everywhere ♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ You bet I'll be there ♪

♪ Hot metal in the sun ♪

♪ Pony in the air ♪

♪ Sooey and saints
at the fair ♪

♪ Saints alive,
you're saying ♪

♪ Walk in squares ♪

♪ The hid are out ♪

♪ Out for the year ♪

♪ It's a lot of face ♪

♪ A lot of crank air ♪

♪ Eroding around here ♪

Yes! Whoo!

Yes!

Looking for someone?

- You came!
- Of course I came.

You're incredible.
Holy shit!

Thank you for coming.
I'm so glad you're here.

Are you kidding?
I wouldn't miss it.

That's more than
I can say for my parents.

Ah, shit.

Ah, don't worry about them.

You got me and all of them.

So proud of you!

Go, go, go.

All qualifying skiers,

please head to the press tent
for a photo call.

That's, uh...

I gotta go to this.

Come with me.
It's dumb.

It's press photos.
It's really stupid.

I hate them.

Shut up.
You love this shit.

Honey.
Honey, try some of this cider.

- Oh.
- It's insane.

- Mm, amazing.
- That cost 8 bucks.

- What?
- Have a donut. It's 4 bucks.

$4 for a donut?
That's ridiculous.

Must be those
resort town prices.

You know what?

Actually, I will
have two donuts.

Probably had to beat out
ten other donut shops

competing for all the tourists.

That's how quality goes up.

The best I have ever had.
I mean, what is that?

What is that, coconut?

Mmm.

My God, you are so stubborn.

But hon, I thought
we agreed to disagree.

Yeah, well, nobody
means that, you know?

Did you see that, doc?

Feeling good.

Looks like maybe
your therapy is working.

Did you stop screaming
into a pillow

in the living room
every morning?

Gonna get another donut.

I scream into the pillow.

I am just going
to stare into this fire

until my eyes dry out.

Me too.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I just can't get Ben
off this resort thing.

You're a lawyer.

Why are you spending
so much energy worrying

about one man's opinion?

What do you mean?

I did some research on
temporary restraining orders,

which is what we would need
to halt progress

before a preliminary
injunction hearing.

Are you in?

When do we start?

Guess who's going to Vail

for the Hard pack tournament
in three weeks?

There she is, the...

Good job, best friend!

Okay. Come here. Speech!

All right, well, it really...

It really means a lot
that you are all here.

What did you do?

We love you, D'arce.

I love you the most!

Anyway, I want to introduce
Elliot, my boyfriend.

- Hi.
- Hi, Elliot.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Hey, Elliot.

Elliot, this is Asta.

Hey. Elliot.

Hey, come on, get in here.

I have heard so many things
about you... all good.

How about our girl,
though, huh?

Making the Hard pack tournament?

Yeah.

Well, you know what?

Uh, cider on me, everybody.

They are $8 each.

Okay, somebody buy
this champ a cider.

I got you.

- Get in here.
- Donut?

- Hi.
- Oh.

- Elliot!
- Yes.

♪ It's gonna be all right ♪

What the hell?

You okay on gas?

Yeah, I've got half a tank.

Asta?

Asta!

Uh, okay.

That makes no sense.

Are you okay, Harry?

No, I am not.

Let's go.

This is it.

This is where I saw
a UFO when I was ten.

What?

We were on a class
camping trip.

I tried to tell the teacher,
but he didn't believe me.

Okay, now, look,
no offense, Deputy,

but if you was ten years old,
right, how you know

it just wasn't
your imagination?

I saw it.

I know.

It's safer to be a skeptic.

But sometimes, don't you
want to see the world

as just a little bit magical?

You know,
when my mom was alive,

my dad, he was
a completely different guy.

You should have seen him.

He had this light
inside of him,

right, especially
when she was around.

He used to always say
he loved the sound of her key

in the door because
that's how he knew

the party was about to start.

But when she died,

that light went out,

just like, poof, just gone.

But he got to have it
for a long time.

I believe life tries
to give us gifts,

but we have to be open
to receiving them.

Yeah.

I can see that.

I mean, that's why
I keep coming back here.

I mean, sure, I feel silly
just sitting here

all alone like some weirdo.

But one of these times,
they might be back.

Now, see, that's
where you're wrong.

You don't think they're
going to come back?

Oh, no, I don't know
nothing about that.

I just know that you
are not all alone.

Okay, just tell me
you hate him.

You hate him. That's fine.
All right?

The sooner you say it,
the sooner I can dump him,

and we could just
go back to normal.

Elliot? No, I love him.

I... he's... he's lovely.

He's great, right?

If that's not it,
what's... what's going on?

Well, uh...

I met my mother today.

Oh.

Wow, wh... how'd it go?

Um...

D'arcy...

Come here.

Before today,
I thought parenting

meant an older human
taking care of a younger one,

feeding it, clothing it,

making sure it didn't
get eaten by wolves.

But sometimes it means
protecting them

emotionally too.

This protective instinct
isn't unique

to the biological child.

Humans parent
their partners too.

They parent their friends
when they need to be guided,

when they are afraid
or in danger.

But how do you parent
when you're in danger too?

- What the hell?
- You okay on gas?

Yeah, I have half a tank.

Asta?

Asta!

You are wrong.

It is not the Alpha Draconians
here on Earth.

And please,
stop sending them messages.

We don't need
those idiots down here.

You are the Greys.

What are you doing here?

The Greys have never
cared about the Earth.

Oh, my, you are so stupid.

When you say, oh my,
does that mean my?

Not yours.

There is an O in it.

Oh, yours.

- Oh, my.
- Oh, my?

Oh, my.

Is this a Grey saying?

It is an expression
like "wow!" and "holy shit!"

Why do you move so much
when you say it?

Because I'm freezing
my Grey dick off!

Oh, my.

We know who you are.

It's no use trying
to get in our way

because we will destroy you
and everyone you care about.

That makes no sense.

You okay, Harry?

What I learned today is that
sometimes parenting

means pretending to feel safe.

Oh, my God!

Was that guy in his underwear?

Even when you don't.

Get back here!

Don't hurt him, please!

Honey, stop!