Relic Hunter (1999–2002): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Headless Nun - full transcript
When Sydney's plane crashes, she's asked by a groups of nuns to find the head of another nun, who was decapitated several centuries ago.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Faster, faster!
Faster.
MAN: We burned the village.
The furious are sure to follow.
Who is that?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[PANTING]
[GASPS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MAN: Who is she?
He cut her
head off.
MAN: God! She's
an holy one.
That's a bad
sign.
I could not
see that she was a
nun.
She will explain
that to god.
We'll all burn
in hell.
[GUNSHOT]
[MOANS]
[SHOUTING]
Hurry, the villagers
are coming!
SYDNEY: Halifax tower this is
CA139-er requesting
a phone patch,over.
Sydney, where
are you?
A few minutes
from the coast.
I'm gonna gas up
in Halifax and head
home.
How'd it go?
The settlement
was untouched.
I picked up some
unbelievable pieces.
Rasmussen's crown?
That's a
roger.
Yes!
Ian McKenzie was there
looking for it too.
It wasn't easy giving
him the slip, but, I
finally did.
Well, you were
more determined as
usual.
This time, anyway.
NIGEL: You don't give yourself
enough credit. You
underestimate yourself.
SYDNEY: Thanks Nigel.
Got an ETA of 1600 hours.
And, where's Claudia?
NIGEL: In class.
She doesn't have a
Wednesday class.
No, a yoga class.
Call Blaine at the museum,
tell him the crown is safe and
sound and all his.
Right. Will do.
Well, it should be plain
sailing from here on in.
I mean, flying.
You know what I mean.
Roger that.
CA139-er out.
Mackenzie!
Sydney. Ah-ah-ah-ah.
It's nice to see you.
I promised this to
a Saudi prince.
[GRUNTING]
[GUNSHOT]
[CRACKLING]
[GRUNTING]
Give it back now and I'll
only break your right arm.
[WIND HOWLING]
Bit of bad luck.
I always knew
you were a jerk.
[SPARKING]
[SHOUTS]
[SINGING]
[ENGINE REVVING]
[CRASHING]
[GASPING]
[GASPS]
You're all right. It's just a
slight concussion, that's all.
Oh, I thought I'd...
No, you survived the crash.
Heaven's much nicer than this.
I hope you don't mind
we went through your things
looking for some
identification.
We found your
name on your
passport.
And, when we searched
the Internet for more
information we
found more than we ever could
have imagined.
You're a relic hunter,
that's why you're here.
What's why I'm here?
You find things
that are lost.
And, we've been praying for
someone to help us.
What are you looking for?
Sister Evangeline.
Oh, a missing person is more
the job of the police.
Not in this case.
Sister Evangeline
disappeared four
hundred years ago.
CLAUDIA:
Femalist revolution,
Nigel.
I mean, no more women
in ugly shoes telling us we're
just the same as men...
because I mean, we're not.
We're different
and we should enjoy it.
I mean, I love my breasts.
But, we're also not
different, either, which
is also very cool.
I mean, women are just as
mean and horny and power
hungry as men are,
maybe even more.
You don't look good.
Do you ever consider
what it's all about?
What what's all about?
Why we are here, why
we exist, what really is the
nature of our being.
I know, I'm asking questions
that don't have answers.
I never do that.
[PHONE RINGING]
Ancient studies.
Sydney, yo. Yeah,
he's here... kind of.
Pick you up?
Mm hm.
Not at the airport,
at the... what?
[ENGINE REVVING]
Excuse me.
I'm sorry but,
I'm afraid I'm
lost. I'm...
I'm trying to
get into town.
Oh, it's about two miles
down the road.
Turn left at the sign
that says town.
Where are you
going in town?
Um, the Sisters
of Mercy Convent.
Oh, turn left at the
second set of
lights,
right on Bathurst.
It's about two blocks
down on your right.
You really know your
way around.
I live there.
You're a nun?
Don't worry, it's
not contagious.
No, of course not.
I'm sorry. It's just...
well, you don't
look like a nun.
The penguin thing.
Black on black on black.
I'm an idiot.
No, you're normal.
People get
into the habit of
expecting habits.
That's changed.
Can I give you a lift?
No, thank you, I've
got another five
miles to run.
Training for a triathlon.
Bye.
Bye.
Um...
Excuse me, Sister,
I was wondering if you
could help...
Sydney?
You haven't! Did you?
I mean, I've been thinking
about things as well, but, god.
Well, that's the point,
of course,
isn't it? God.
Well, I...
I meant it only as an
exclamation of emphasis,
not as anything derogatory.
Are you finished?
Why, yes,
I think so.
Are you?
Okay, relax. I just needed
something to wear after
the plane crash.
I couldn't resist trying
the whole thing on.
What do you think?
Looks hot.
How are you feeling?
Fine.
God. Good! We're um...
booked
on a plane out of
Halifax.
Change in plans. We're going
to stay and help the nuns find
Sister Evangeline.
Sister Evangeline?
Well, just her body.
Her head's buried
under the statue.
Right, and they became
separated because?
SISTER MARY:
The poor thing
was murdered.
Just thought you'd like to
know your clothes are dry.
And, you must be Nigel.
Hi.
The man responsible sailed
over with Samuel Champlain.
The French explorer?
No one knows what
happened exactly
but, Champlain was
shocked by the deed.
He executed the murders
and gave all he owned
to the nuns.
Yes. Sailed back to France,
a man very spiritually confused.
I had almost given up
hope of finding her.
And, then Sydney
was delivered
from the heavens.
Something like that.
Sister, do you have any idea
where Champlain's fort was?
Mm hm.
You're standing
on top of it.
The convent was built
where the fort had been.
We discovered the remains
when our foundation was
being replaced.
The tunnels are
remarkably intact.
They've never
been excavated?
We wanted to,
of course,
but, the cost.
Maybe we can find
something to start with.
Well, if you see
Sister Evangeline,
ask her to lend a hand.
You don't really
believe that,
of course.
That Sister
Evangeline is here,
watching over us?
Never seen her, but,
I've certainly felt her
presence.
It's right down there...
just follow the
foundation walls.
Do you mind?
Oh...
help yourself. I'll get
your rooms ready while
you're working.
We're staying here?
[CREAKING]
NIGEL: Here we go again.
[RATS SQUEAKING]
SYDNEY: Watch your step.
[CREAKING]
[CRASHING]
This way.
Must be where the
murderers spent their
last days.
[BANGING]
[ECHOING]
Come back tomorrow,
I'll bring some tools.
It's a sad fact of life...
but, the days of relying on
charitable donations are a
thing of the past.
How do you make ends
meet, Sister? Fruitcakes
and doilies?
Wow... looks like
Silicon Valley.
We compile and maintain
databases for over two hundred
companies around the world.
You set this up?
Derek did, a local builder.
Now it's the bank, helped
us get our loan.
Angels appear when you
need them the most.
Sometimes they even
land in the field.
[LAUGHING]
I'm fine.
Spoke to Sister Mary,
she said the washroom is
the first door on the left...
and assured me it
is strictly a
nun-free zone.
Good night.
Good night.
[DOOR CREAKS]
Hi.
Hi.
It's... there's
been a mistake.
They said the...
this facility...
there wouldn't be...
there... there wasn't
supposed to be any women...
nuns, people...
it was supposed
to be nun-free.
Well, no one told me.
Apparently not.
I... I have to
leave now.
No, no. You
don't have to go.
Yes, I do,
very much.
I'm through
with the shower.
You are.
I mean, you are?
And, I think you were in the
middle of brushing your teeth.
How's your room?
My room? It's...
[STAMMERING]
it's perfect.
And, your bed?
My bed? Well, it's...
Like a rock, huh?
Yeah, absolutely.
Nuns used to sleep
on wooden planks.
We've come a long way.
Leave your window open.
The ocean breeze is
lovely and you can hear the
foghorn from the point.
Oh, I love the fog.
I'm English.
I noticed.
[CHUCKLES]
Make yourself at home.
Thank you.
[DOOR CREAKING]
Oh, my god. I'm
such a klutz.
They say that
cleanliness is next
to godliness.
I pray that is true.
[DOOR CREAKS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Fire!
Fire! Fire!
Well, I'm not exactly
sure what I saw.
I mean, it was too dark to
actually see a face.
If there
was a face.
It was Sister Evangeline.
She set that fire.
The fire department says
it was probably caused by
faulty wiring, Sister.
She's sending us a message.
Well, if she did,
I wish she'd used e-mail.
Uh...
Sister Grace doesn't
believe we should be
involved in computers.
I'm going to go
take a look around.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
This fire wasn't an accident.
C-40 blasting cap
or, what's left of it.
Where'd it come from?
Over there.
Someone used it
to start the fire.
And, how can you be
so sure of that, miss?
C-40's used exclusively
at construction sites.
Since I haven't been
whistled at all day, I think
you need a cop out here.
I am a cop.
Then you'll be wanting this.
That fire could have
burned this place to
the ground.
If there's any chance
that it was arson,
you damn well find
out who it is.
We will.
Oh! Excuse me.
We haven't been
introduced. I'm
Derek Bushin.
I've heard about you.
You've done a lot for
the sisters.
Yeah, well, now
it's a total loss.
And, Sister Mary was only
a day away from signing
an insurance policy.
You're kidding.
I know the agent she was
working with, so, hopefully,
I can work something out.
Can I ask you why
are you looking for
Sister Evangeline?
Part of what I do is
search for relics.
Every relic tells
a human story, gives
us insight into our lives.
Sister Evangeline's life
was a beautiful story.
Well, four hundred
years is a long time.
Yes but, Champlain's fort's
never been touched.
Maybe we'll be able to
make a lead out of it.
Well, look, let me know if
there's anything I can do.
I will.
NIGEL: Last one.
[GRUNTING]
SYDNEY: Give me a hand.
Just a little more.
Champlain's stockade.
Looks like he had room for
quite a few guests.
Those were ratty times.
Why is it prisoners always
write on the walls?
Maybe when you're about to
die you want to leave
something behind that lives on.
It doesn't look like
there is anything
left here but bad memories.
[SCREAMS]
Now, I have one of my own.
NIGEL: Someone fancied
himself an artist.
A tree.
Very good.
The guy that killed
Sister Evangeline
was named La Foret.
Forest in French.
Careful.
Got something.
What is it?
ELF.
Emil La Foret.
Cross must be where
Sister Evangeline is buried.
Why else would he
put it on the map?
If he didn't want anyone
to know where she was...
why did he draw a map at all?
[CREAKING]
[THUDDING]
Must be Sister Mary
or someone
from the convent.
Right.
Hello.
Who's there?
Hello.
Is there anyone there?
What was that?
There it is again.
Were you calling out for me?
Yes.
Horrible room.
Crime really didn't
pay back then.
La Foret left this behind.
It might lead us to
Sister Evangeline.
Watch your step, Sister.
Nigel!
Go, Sister, quickly.
Would you sit down, Nigel?
You're making me nervous.
I don't feel like sitting, okay?
I just came within inches of
losing my head.
Which seems to happen
a lot around here.
That thing, how do
you explain it?
Whatever it was,
it wasn't Sister Evangeline.
Of course not.
Sister Evangeline
was a woman of peace.
That could never
change regardless
of what happened to her.
Then what was it?
There's more to this than
meets the eye.
That's very comforting.
Take a look at this map.
See the way it lays out?
It's like looking at a
constellation of stars.
Connect the pictures
with a line and it
forms a triangle.
With the cross at the apex.
Sister Evangeline.
La bouche diabolique.
The devil's mouth.
Exactly.
Does that mean
anything to you, Sister?
I'm afraid none
of this does.
Well, four hundred years
ago the devil's mouth was
probably another landmark.
The only thing I do recognize
is this rock formation.
It's on the road leading
out to the coast.
Is there anyone here that
knows what this area used
to look like?
Paul. You should
talk to Paul.
Is Paul an historian?
Pot of junk.
Look at him the wrong
way to die.
Don't know how to
build things that last,
don't care about
nothing but, the god
almighty dollar.
Sister Mary said your
family's lived here for
three hundred years.
Three hundred and sixty seven.
Been downhill
most of that time.
She thought you might help
interpret this map.
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
Perhaps this is a bad time.
You might check
the gas tank.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Don't you want to talk?
Where you going to
in such a hurry?
That's the trouble with
the world these days,
everybody's in a hurry.
Windmill would
have been in the
Van Helsen place.
Mini golf course.
There's the rock formation that
Sister Mary mentioned.
Windmill was there,
Martin's grove there,
stream to the right.
When I was a youngster,
you'd come out here and see
nothing but fields.
Now, you got a yacht club,
housing estates, a golf club
behind there.
Sure it won't be long before
Starbucks'll be selling lattes
to the mountain bikers.
This is where the lines on
the map come together.
No cross, no tree, at least
not one that looks four
hundred years old.
And, nothing that looks
like a devil's mouth.
Stump.
The bloody bench
is built on a tree stump.
From its size, it could be
hundreds of years old.
No.
Sydney, is this sensible?
I mean, it's a two
hundred foot drop.
We're not jumping, Nigel,
we're climbing down.
But, what if
we slip, fall?
There are rocks in the water
and god knows what else.
You're being negative.
I'm being practical.
This is a piece of cake.
I've rappelled down
hundreds of cliffs.
Well I have a hard
time climbing
out of a bunk bed.
The secret is not
to look down.
That's what my father
taught me the first time
we climbed together.
You ready?
No.
Come on, Nigel.
Coming.
I suppose I can try
anything once.
Devil's mouth.
I was wrong. Totally.
I can't do this, not even once.
How am I supposed not to
look down when... when all
there is is down?
SYDNEY:
Just grab the rope
and close your eyes.
Right, good, thanks very much
for the advice.
Whoa!
Oh, god.
SYDNEY: Are you coming or not?
I'm... I'm coming...
[STRUGGLING AND SCREAMING]
I never want to have
to do anything like that
again, Sydney.
Paul says we've got
about half an hour before
the tide fills this up.
Not much of a cave, is it?
I stand corrected.
I've never seen
anything like it.
It's immense.
It's also a dead end.
Maybe.
We... we really
should get back.
I'm sure you're right.
No, wait.
Man-made.
Apparently.
La Foret.
Yes.
A door.
[THUDDING]
[CREAKING]
Nigel!
[METAL CLANGING]
We haven't much time left.
We should come back after
the tide's gone out again.
Right, ridiculous
suggestion, of course.
SYDNEY: Looks
like a cathedral.
Sister Evangeline.
NIGEL: It's more
than Sister Evangeline.
La Foret must have figured he
couldn't risk coming back here.
Not after he chopped
a nun's head off.
He left a map for whoever
he would send back
to retrieve the
treasure for him.
It's a bloody fortune here.
Bloody might be the
right word for it.
What do you mean?
No one leaves a
fortune unprotected.
[RUMBLING]
Sydney! Come on,
grab my arm.
Thanks.
This is a miracle.
It certainly is.
I could have been killed.
We found Sister
Evangeline.
Well, what's left
of her, at any rate.
And, enough money to get
the nuns all the computers
they need
for another four
hundred years.
I'm afraid their credit's
already short.
This is what I meant by more
here than meets the eye.
You're way too clever
for your own good.
No, I've just had more
experience than the nuns
with guys like you.
But, he arranged the loan.
He also arranged
for the fire.
When the bank forecloses
he snaps it up,
gets it at fire
sale prices,
so to speak.
He's a developer.
It's just good business.
And, the convent's sitting on
the best real estate in town.
Which they wouldn't
dream of selling.
There are ways to make
people sell when they won't
do business with you.
SYDNEY: And, you don't
care who it hurts.
You know, it took a real
pro to set a fire like that
and, oh, you seem
to have exactly the same
size feet as our headless
Sister Evangeline.
DEREK: Way too clever.
Come on, the tide's coming in.
Let's get them down into the
cave.
What about all that?
No, we'll bring my truck back
for it tomorrow.
Let's go!
She's not going
to be happy.
Oh, Sister Mary's a survivor.
She'll get over it.
I was talking about Sister
Evangeline. You're making
a big mistake.
There are some things you
don't mess around with.
Oh, I worry about
a lot of things...
but, a nun who's been
dead for four hundred
years is not one of them.
Hurry up.
You're going to be
underwater in a few minutes.
You know that miracle you
were talking about, Sydney?
We could sure
use another one.
[DISTANT HOWL]
What the hell's that?
The wind.
That's not
the wind.
No, it's not.
You shut up.
It's the damn wind.
[GRUNTS]
[SNAP]
[SHOUTS]
[SCREAMING]
[SHOUTING]
It was the wind, wasn't it?
She's at peace now,
thanks to you.
We've got a lot to thank
Sister Evangeline for.
She is amazing.
I'm going to go
pack our stuff.
Right.
You know, it's...
it's well-known that
Sister Evangeline
had a strong voice
and a fierce temper.
Four hundred years ago.
Mm hmm.
Four hundred years ago.
Do you really
believe it was her?
Belief is a mysterious
thing, Nigel.
If we could prove what we
believed in, it wouldn't be a
belief any more, we would know.
I can't prove
it was Sister Evangeline,
but, if you believe
strongly enough, Nigel,
anything's possible.
Anything and everything.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm back.
Have you heard
the Lilith Fair CD?
I'm back.
Yeah?
I was gone.
Okay, what about
the Lilith Fair CD?
Isn't it amazing? I mean,
women celebrating women?
It's, like, completely
empowering.
Like, totally.
And, please get me
a cup of tea.
I don't think so.
Excuse me?
No tea.
What, are we out?
No.
Then what?
I don't get tea, Sydney.
No tea? Uh...
What about coffee?
No coffee.
No juice.
No milk. Not any more.
Might I ask why, Claudia?
It's a form of gender
enslavement.
I mean, you're only asking
me to do this because I'm
a woman.
No, I'm asking you because
I'm the woman you work for...
and you're my assistant.
See? My point exactly.
Subservience.
Speaking of subservient,
where's Nigel?
He won't be available
for a while.
Where is he?
Exploring.
Ours is a silent order.
We ask that our visitors
completely refrain from talking.
Of course,
of course.
We find we hear so much more
when we're not talking.
Oh, yes. Well,
of course, that's why
I've come, to
hear my own voice.
You're on a spiritual journey.
I suppose I am.
Just embarking.
Go slowly.
It can be a little
unsettling at first.
Yes.
One thing just
before I start.
Is there a phone?
Just in the
Monsignor's office.
Thanks.
It's just that
I'm having second
thoughts, Sydney.
You know, talking is
not allowed, apparently
we eat in our rooms.
I'm going to be alone
every single minute,
day and night.
I'm just not sure
I'm ready for this.
It's like running a bloody
marathon before learning
how to walk.
Claudia? What does
she want?
CLAUDIA: You and I need
to stick together, Nigel.
I mean, when you
think about it,
we're both oppressed.
Well, you're
repressed as well,
which is even worse.
But, anyway these servant's
tasks we're performing
are just demeaning
ourselves. I mean,
I was watching this
Limp Bizkit video last night
with this guy and he asked
me to give him a
shoulder rub because he's
got this pain in his--
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Faster, faster!
Faster.
MAN: We burned the village.
The furious are sure to follow.
Who is that?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[PANTING]
[GASPS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MAN: Who is she?
He cut her
head off.
MAN: God! She's
an holy one.
That's a bad
sign.
I could not
see that she was a
nun.
She will explain
that to god.
We'll all burn
in hell.
[GUNSHOT]
[MOANS]
[SHOUTING]
Hurry, the villagers
are coming!
SYDNEY: Halifax tower this is
CA139-er requesting
a phone patch,over.
Sydney, where
are you?
A few minutes
from the coast.
I'm gonna gas up
in Halifax and head
home.
How'd it go?
The settlement
was untouched.
I picked up some
unbelievable pieces.
Rasmussen's crown?
That's a
roger.
Yes!
Ian McKenzie was there
looking for it too.
It wasn't easy giving
him the slip, but, I
finally did.
Well, you were
more determined as
usual.
This time, anyway.
NIGEL: You don't give yourself
enough credit. You
underestimate yourself.
SYDNEY: Thanks Nigel.
Got an ETA of 1600 hours.
And, where's Claudia?
NIGEL: In class.
She doesn't have a
Wednesday class.
No, a yoga class.
Call Blaine at the museum,
tell him the crown is safe and
sound and all his.
Right. Will do.
Well, it should be plain
sailing from here on in.
I mean, flying.
You know what I mean.
Roger that.
CA139-er out.
Mackenzie!
Sydney. Ah-ah-ah-ah.
It's nice to see you.
I promised this to
a Saudi prince.
[GRUNTING]
[GUNSHOT]
[CRACKLING]
[GRUNTING]
Give it back now and I'll
only break your right arm.
[WIND HOWLING]
Bit of bad luck.
I always knew
you were a jerk.
[SPARKING]
[SHOUTS]
[SINGING]
[ENGINE REVVING]
[CRASHING]
[GASPING]
[GASPS]
You're all right. It's just a
slight concussion, that's all.
Oh, I thought I'd...
No, you survived the crash.
Heaven's much nicer than this.
I hope you don't mind
we went through your things
looking for some
identification.
We found your
name on your
passport.
And, when we searched
the Internet for more
information we
found more than we ever could
have imagined.
You're a relic hunter,
that's why you're here.
What's why I'm here?
You find things
that are lost.
And, we've been praying for
someone to help us.
What are you looking for?
Sister Evangeline.
Oh, a missing person is more
the job of the police.
Not in this case.
Sister Evangeline
disappeared four
hundred years ago.
CLAUDIA:
Femalist revolution,
Nigel.
I mean, no more women
in ugly shoes telling us we're
just the same as men...
because I mean, we're not.
We're different
and we should enjoy it.
I mean, I love my breasts.
But, we're also not
different, either, which
is also very cool.
I mean, women are just as
mean and horny and power
hungry as men are,
maybe even more.
You don't look good.
Do you ever consider
what it's all about?
What what's all about?
Why we are here, why
we exist, what really is the
nature of our being.
I know, I'm asking questions
that don't have answers.
I never do that.
[PHONE RINGING]
Ancient studies.
Sydney, yo. Yeah,
he's here... kind of.
Pick you up?
Mm hm.
Not at the airport,
at the... what?
[ENGINE REVVING]
Excuse me.
I'm sorry but,
I'm afraid I'm
lost. I'm...
I'm trying to
get into town.
Oh, it's about two miles
down the road.
Turn left at the sign
that says town.
Where are you
going in town?
Um, the Sisters
of Mercy Convent.
Oh, turn left at the
second set of
lights,
right on Bathurst.
It's about two blocks
down on your right.
You really know your
way around.
I live there.
You're a nun?
Don't worry, it's
not contagious.
No, of course not.
I'm sorry. It's just...
well, you don't
look like a nun.
The penguin thing.
Black on black on black.
I'm an idiot.
No, you're normal.
People get
into the habit of
expecting habits.
That's changed.
Can I give you a lift?
No, thank you, I've
got another five
miles to run.
Training for a triathlon.
Bye.
Bye.
Um...
Excuse me, Sister,
I was wondering if you
could help...
Sydney?
You haven't! Did you?
I mean, I've been thinking
about things as well, but, god.
Well, that's the point,
of course,
isn't it? God.
Well, I...
I meant it only as an
exclamation of emphasis,
not as anything derogatory.
Are you finished?
Why, yes,
I think so.
Are you?
Okay, relax. I just needed
something to wear after
the plane crash.
I couldn't resist trying
the whole thing on.
What do you think?
Looks hot.
How are you feeling?
Fine.
God. Good! We're um...
booked
on a plane out of
Halifax.
Change in plans. We're going
to stay and help the nuns find
Sister Evangeline.
Sister Evangeline?
Well, just her body.
Her head's buried
under the statue.
Right, and they became
separated because?
SISTER MARY:
The poor thing
was murdered.
Just thought you'd like to
know your clothes are dry.
And, you must be Nigel.
Hi.
The man responsible sailed
over with Samuel Champlain.
The French explorer?
No one knows what
happened exactly
but, Champlain was
shocked by the deed.
He executed the murders
and gave all he owned
to the nuns.
Yes. Sailed back to France,
a man very spiritually confused.
I had almost given up
hope of finding her.
And, then Sydney
was delivered
from the heavens.
Something like that.
Sister, do you have any idea
where Champlain's fort was?
Mm hm.
You're standing
on top of it.
The convent was built
where the fort had been.
We discovered the remains
when our foundation was
being replaced.
The tunnels are
remarkably intact.
They've never
been excavated?
We wanted to,
of course,
but, the cost.
Maybe we can find
something to start with.
Well, if you see
Sister Evangeline,
ask her to lend a hand.
You don't really
believe that,
of course.
That Sister
Evangeline is here,
watching over us?
Never seen her, but,
I've certainly felt her
presence.
It's right down there...
just follow the
foundation walls.
Do you mind?
Oh...
help yourself. I'll get
your rooms ready while
you're working.
We're staying here?
[CREAKING]
NIGEL: Here we go again.
[RATS SQUEAKING]
SYDNEY: Watch your step.
[CREAKING]
[CRASHING]
This way.
Must be where the
murderers spent their
last days.
[BANGING]
[ECHOING]
Come back tomorrow,
I'll bring some tools.
It's a sad fact of life...
but, the days of relying on
charitable donations are a
thing of the past.
How do you make ends
meet, Sister? Fruitcakes
and doilies?
Wow... looks like
Silicon Valley.
We compile and maintain
databases for over two hundred
companies around the world.
You set this up?
Derek did, a local builder.
Now it's the bank, helped
us get our loan.
Angels appear when you
need them the most.
Sometimes they even
land in the field.
[LAUGHING]
I'm fine.
Spoke to Sister Mary,
she said the washroom is
the first door on the left...
and assured me it
is strictly a
nun-free zone.
Good night.
Good night.
[DOOR CREAKS]
Hi.
Hi.
It's... there's
been a mistake.
They said the...
this facility...
there wouldn't be...
there... there wasn't
supposed to be any women...
nuns, people...
it was supposed
to be nun-free.
Well, no one told me.
Apparently not.
I... I have to
leave now.
No, no. You
don't have to go.
Yes, I do,
very much.
I'm through
with the shower.
You are.
I mean, you are?
And, I think you were in the
middle of brushing your teeth.
How's your room?
My room? It's...
[STAMMERING]
it's perfect.
And, your bed?
My bed? Well, it's...
Like a rock, huh?
Yeah, absolutely.
Nuns used to sleep
on wooden planks.
We've come a long way.
Leave your window open.
The ocean breeze is
lovely and you can hear the
foghorn from the point.
Oh, I love the fog.
I'm English.
I noticed.
[CHUCKLES]
Make yourself at home.
Thank you.
[DOOR CREAKING]
Oh, my god. I'm
such a klutz.
They say that
cleanliness is next
to godliness.
I pray that is true.
[DOOR CREAKS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Fire!
Fire! Fire!
Well, I'm not exactly
sure what I saw.
I mean, it was too dark to
actually see a face.
If there
was a face.
It was Sister Evangeline.
She set that fire.
The fire department says
it was probably caused by
faulty wiring, Sister.
She's sending us a message.
Well, if she did,
I wish she'd used e-mail.
Uh...
Sister Grace doesn't
believe we should be
involved in computers.
I'm going to go
take a look around.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
This fire wasn't an accident.
C-40 blasting cap
or, what's left of it.
Where'd it come from?
Over there.
Someone used it
to start the fire.
And, how can you be
so sure of that, miss?
C-40's used exclusively
at construction sites.
Since I haven't been
whistled at all day, I think
you need a cop out here.
I am a cop.
Then you'll be wanting this.
That fire could have
burned this place to
the ground.
If there's any chance
that it was arson,
you damn well find
out who it is.
We will.
Oh! Excuse me.
We haven't been
introduced. I'm
Derek Bushin.
I've heard about you.
You've done a lot for
the sisters.
Yeah, well, now
it's a total loss.
And, Sister Mary was only
a day away from signing
an insurance policy.
You're kidding.
I know the agent she was
working with, so, hopefully,
I can work something out.
Can I ask you why
are you looking for
Sister Evangeline?
Part of what I do is
search for relics.
Every relic tells
a human story, gives
us insight into our lives.
Sister Evangeline's life
was a beautiful story.
Well, four hundred
years is a long time.
Yes but, Champlain's fort's
never been touched.
Maybe we'll be able to
make a lead out of it.
Well, look, let me know if
there's anything I can do.
I will.
NIGEL: Last one.
[GRUNTING]
SYDNEY: Give me a hand.
Just a little more.
Champlain's stockade.
Looks like he had room for
quite a few guests.
Those were ratty times.
Why is it prisoners always
write on the walls?
Maybe when you're about to
die you want to leave
something behind that lives on.
It doesn't look like
there is anything
left here but bad memories.
[SCREAMS]
Now, I have one of my own.
NIGEL: Someone fancied
himself an artist.
A tree.
Very good.
The guy that killed
Sister Evangeline
was named La Foret.
Forest in French.
Careful.
Got something.
What is it?
ELF.
Emil La Foret.
Cross must be where
Sister Evangeline is buried.
Why else would he
put it on the map?
If he didn't want anyone
to know where she was...
why did he draw a map at all?
[CREAKING]
[THUDDING]
Must be Sister Mary
or someone
from the convent.
Right.
Hello.
Who's there?
Hello.
Is there anyone there?
What was that?
There it is again.
Were you calling out for me?
Yes.
Horrible room.
Crime really didn't
pay back then.
La Foret left this behind.
It might lead us to
Sister Evangeline.
Watch your step, Sister.
Nigel!
Go, Sister, quickly.
Would you sit down, Nigel?
You're making me nervous.
I don't feel like sitting, okay?
I just came within inches of
losing my head.
Which seems to happen
a lot around here.
That thing, how do
you explain it?
Whatever it was,
it wasn't Sister Evangeline.
Of course not.
Sister Evangeline
was a woman of peace.
That could never
change regardless
of what happened to her.
Then what was it?
There's more to this than
meets the eye.
That's very comforting.
Take a look at this map.
See the way it lays out?
It's like looking at a
constellation of stars.
Connect the pictures
with a line and it
forms a triangle.
With the cross at the apex.
Sister Evangeline.
La bouche diabolique.
The devil's mouth.
Exactly.
Does that mean
anything to you, Sister?
I'm afraid none
of this does.
Well, four hundred years
ago the devil's mouth was
probably another landmark.
The only thing I do recognize
is this rock formation.
It's on the road leading
out to the coast.
Is there anyone here that
knows what this area used
to look like?
Paul. You should
talk to Paul.
Is Paul an historian?
Pot of junk.
Look at him the wrong
way to die.
Don't know how to
build things that last,
don't care about
nothing but, the god
almighty dollar.
Sister Mary said your
family's lived here for
three hundred years.
Three hundred and sixty seven.
Been downhill
most of that time.
She thought you might help
interpret this map.
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
Perhaps this is a bad time.
You might check
the gas tank.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Don't you want to talk?
Where you going to
in such a hurry?
That's the trouble with
the world these days,
everybody's in a hurry.
Windmill would
have been in the
Van Helsen place.
Mini golf course.
There's the rock formation that
Sister Mary mentioned.
Windmill was there,
Martin's grove there,
stream to the right.
When I was a youngster,
you'd come out here and see
nothing but fields.
Now, you got a yacht club,
housing estates, a golf club
behind there.
Sure it won't be long before
Starbucks'll be selling lattes
to the mountain bikers.
This is where the lines on
the map come together.
No cross, no tree, at least
not one that looks four
hundred years old.
And, nothing that looks
like a devil's mouth.
Stump.
The bloody bench
is built on a tree stump.
From its size, it could be
hundreds of years old.
No.
Sydney, is this sensible?
I mean, it's a two
hundred foot drop.
We're not jumping, Nigel,
we're climbing down.
But, what if
we slip, fall?
There are rocks in the water
and god knows what else.
You're being negative.
I'm being practical.
This is a piece of cake.
I've rappelled down
hundreds of cliffs.
Well I have a hard
time climbing
out of a bunk bed.
The secret is not
to look down.
That's what my father
taught me the first time
we climbed together.
You ready?
No.
Come on, Nigel.
Coming.
I suppose I can try
anything once.
Devil's mouth.
I was wrong. Totally.
I can't do this, not even once.
How am I supposed not to
look down when... when all
there is is down?
SYDNEY:
Just grab the rope
and close your eyes.
Right, good, thanks very much
for the advice.
Whoa!
Oh, god.
SYDNEY: Are you coming or not?
I'm... I'm coming...
[STRUGGLING AND SCREAMING]
I never want to have
to do anything like that
again, Sydney.
Paul says we've got
about half an hour before
the tide fills this up.
Not much of a cave, is it?
I stand corrected.
I've never seen
anything like it.
It's immense.
It's also a dead end.
Maybe.
We... we really
should get back.
I'm sure you're right.
No, wait.
Man-made.
Apparently.
La Foret.
Yes.
A door.
[THUDDING]
[CREAKING]
Nigel!
[METAL CLANGING]
We haven't much time left.
We should come back after
the tide's gone out again.
Right, ridiculous
suggestion, of course.
SYDNEY: Looks
like a cathedral.
Sister Evangeline.
NIGEL: It's more
than Sister Evangeline.
La Foret must have figured he
couldn't risk coming back here.
Not after he chopped
a nun's head off.
He left a map for whoever
he would send back
to retrieve the
treasure for him.
It's a bloody fortune here.
Bloody might be the
right word for it.
What do you mean?
No one leaves a
fortune unprotected.
[RUMBLING]
Sydney! Come on,
grab my arm.
Thanks.
This is a miracle.
It certainly is.
I could have been killed.
We found Sister
Evangeline.
Well, what's left
of her, at any rate.
And, enough money to get
the nuns all the computers
they need
for another four
hundred years.
I'm afraid their credit's
already short.
This is what I meant by more
here than meets the eye.
You're way too clever
for your own good.
No, I've just had more
experience than the nuns
with guys like you.
But, he arranged the loan.
He also arranged
for the fire.
When the bank forecloses
he snaps it up,
gets it at fire
sale prices,
so to speak.
He's a developer.
It's just good business.
And, the convent's sitting on
the best real estate in town.
Which they wouldn't
dream of selling.
There are ways to make
people sell when they won't
do business with you.
SYDNEY: And, you don't
care who it hurts.
You know, it took a real
pro to set a fire like that
and, oh, you seem
to have exactly the same
size feet as our headless
Sister Evangeline.
DEREK: Way too clever.
Come on, the tide's coming in.
Let's get them down into the
cave.
What about all that?
No, we'll bring my truck back
for it tomorrow.
Let's go!
She's not going
to be happy.
Oh, Sister Mary's a survivor.
She'll get over it.
I was talking about Sister
Evangeline. You're making
a big mistake.
There are some things you
don't mess around with.
Oh, I worry about
a lot of things...
but, a nun who's been
dead for four hundred
years is not one of them.
Hurry up.
You're going to be
underwater in a few minutes.
You know that miracle you
were talking about, Sydney?
We could sure
use another one.
[DISTANT HOWL]
What the hell's that?
The wind.
That's not
the wind.
No, it's not.
You shut up.
It's the damn wind.
[GRUNTS]
[SNAP]
[SHOUTS]
[SCREAMING]
[SHOUTING]
It was the wind, wasn't it?
She's at peace now,
thanks to you.
We've got a lot to thank
Sister Evangeline for.
She is amazing.
I'm going to go
pack our stuff.
Right.
You know, it's...
it's well-known that
Sister Evangeline
had a strong voice
and a fierce temper.
Four hundred years ago.
Mm hmm.
Four hundred years ago.
Do you really
believe it was her?
Belief is a mysterious
thing, Nigel.
If we could prove what we
believed in, it wouldn't be a
belief any more, we would know.
I can't prove
it was Sister Evangeline,
but, if you believe
strongly enough, Nigel,
anything's possible.
Anything and everything.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm back.
Have you heard
the Lilith Fair CD?
I'm back.
Yeah?
I was gone.
Okay, what about
the Lilith Fair CD?
Isn't it amazing? I mean,
women celebrating women?
It's, like, completely
empowering.
Like, totally.
And, please get me
a cup of tea.
I don't think so.
Excuse me?
No tea.
What, are we out?
No.
Then what?
I don't get tea, Sydney.
No tea? Uh...
What about coffee?
No coffee.
No juice.
No milk. Not any more.
Might I ask why, Claudia?
It's a form of gender
enslavement.
I mean, you're only asking
me to do this because I'm
a woman.
No, I'm asking you because
I'm the woman you work for...
and you're my assistant.
See? My point exactly.
Subservience.
Speaking of subservient,
where's Nigel?
He won't be available
for a while.
Where is he?
Exploring.
Ours is a silent order.
We ask that our visitors
completely refrain from talking.
Of course,
of course.
We find we hear so much more
when we're not talking.
Oh, yes. Well,
of course, that's why
I've come, to
hear my own voice.
You're on a spiritual journey.
I suppose I am.
Just embarking.
Go slowly.
It can be a little
unsettling at first.
Yes.
One thing just
before I start.
Is there a phone?
Just in the
Monsignor's office.
Thanks.
It's just that
I'm having second
thoughts, Sydney.
You know, talking is
not allowed, apparently
we eat in our rooms.
I'm going to be alone
every single minute,
day and night.
I'm just not sure
I'm ready for this.
It's like running a bloody
marathon before learning
how to walk.
Claudia? What does
she want?
CLAUDIA: You and I need
to stick together, Nigel.
I mean, when you
think about it,
we're both oppressed.
Well, you're
repressed as well,
which is even worse.
But, anyway these servant's
tasks we're performing
are just demeaning
ourselves. I mean,
I was watching this
Limp Bizkit video last night
with this guy and he asked
me to give him a
shoulder rub because he's
got this pain in his--
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]