Relic Hunter (1999–2002): Season 1, Episode 13 - Afterlife and Death - full transcript

Get out. No one's allowed in here
until i notify cairo.

Police. You stay where you are.

Whoa, whoa, here. I have a permit.
I'll show you.

One soul, many lives.

It's about reincarnation.

Yeah, i didn't think it was a cookbook,
claudia.

Everyone's soul is eternal, Nigel.

They're, like recycled through different
bodies, but they never change.

You inhabiting different bodies
is a frightening concept.

Make fun all you want...

but i met the author at a book signing,
and she said i was a very old soul.



You hate old. Everything in your world
has a shelf-life of fifteen minutes.

This is different.
She wants to do a deep reading on me.

She's almost certain i was
someone famous.

An actress maybe, you know,
like, jane fonda.

- Claudia, jane fonda's still alive.
- No way!

- We're going somewhere?
- Egypt.

Prominent archaelologist bruce adler
accused of stealing pharaoh's diamond.

You know this guy?

H e's an old friend. H e phoned last
night after he was released on bail.

What do you think happened?

I don't know,
but bruce has spent his life...

protecting egypt's history...

and the thought of him stealing
anything is ridiculous.

I have to go there and help him.



- H e's cute.
- H e's just a friend, claudia.

Maybe he'd like to show
his diamond to cleopatria.

H uh?

She also said i might be a
famous historical fixture.

Well, just for the record, it's
cleopatra.

Whatever. I love diamonds,
she loved diamonds.

I know, i saw the movie with liz taylor.

Liz taylor!

- Alive.
- No!

I'll just go make reservations.

The diamond was known as the
white light of pharoah thutmose.

Egyptologists have speculated about
it's existence for centuries...

but no one really knew if it existed.
This is a huge find.

I haven't heard a thing about it.

Well, bruce didn't want anyone
to know about it...

until he found funding to ex cavate the
site.

- Sydney, this is important.
- Okay.

- Jane fonda. Dead or alive?
- Alive, of course.

- No! But i never see her anymore.
- She got married.

Good as dead.

Bruce.

Sydney, thanks for coming.
You must be Nigel.

- H i.
- H i. H ave a seat.

Sorry about the choice of cafes. It's just
that not even the police come here.

You made bail.
What are you worried about?

That they'll arrest me for something else.

Are they involved?

Whoever stole the diamond...

bought off the police,
arranged to have me framed...

so that cairo would have no choice
but to have them hold me.

I was lucky enough to get the story
in the papers.

Otherwise, i wouldn't have made bail.

Any idea who stole it?

Well, i can think of half a dozen people
with enough clout to pull this off.

Whoever it is, i'm sure they're
out of the country by now.

Sydney, you don't know how much
this means to me...

that you came all this way
just to give me a hand.

Bruce, you know you've been
there for me a few times before.

Yeah.

All right. So where do you want to start?

Well, i'd say the pharaoh's tomb.
That's the last time you saw the diamond.

H mm. It'll be under heavy guard.

- Male guards, of course?
- Of course.

No.

Nigel, we did it before.
It worked like a charm.

No.

- It's the only way.
- There has to be another way.

I don't know what you're making such a
fuss about. You have very nice legs.

- How're you doing?
- Fine.

- U h, how long do you think...
- when i'm done... ow!

- Are you all right?
- Nothing a tourniquet won't fix.

- I'll just lay out your things.
- Ow! Ow.

- You're slouching.
- The basket is a little heavy.

Women that slouch are very unattractive,
Nigel.

- This isn't a beauty contest.
- We have to be authentic.

An authentic woman would slouch
with this basket on her head.

Fine, Nigel, you win. All right? Just
shh.

What do you want, woman?

- We have food.
- We have already eaten.

And wares.

What wares?

H mm.

What about the little one?

Nice.

Oh, a nervous one.

Are you ready to receive
what we have to offer?

Oh, yes. Very much ready.

Remember, you asked for this.

According to these hieroglyphics...

the diamond was found inside a meteor
that fell to earth...

Now, the egyptians believed
the gods sent it to pharaoh.

Do you believe that?
About the meteor, i mean?

Oh, i know it's true. I found
the diamond resting on a piece of it.

There.

Now, it was said that the diamond's
white light would lead thutmose...

on his journey through the afterlife.
Now, that's standard stuff. But this...

this isn't.

- What are those rays?
- I don't really know.

But thutmose was an incredible warrior.
H is armies were unstoppable.

Maybe the diamond was
more than just a flashlight.

What? Are you suggesting it was some sort
of laser weapon from, uh, somewhere, uh...

- out there?
- I don't know.

Well, the hieroglyphics are probably just
the work of an egyptian spin doctor.

I mean, it's clever mythology at best,
sydney... allegory.

Bruce -

is there anyone on your
short list of thieves...

that walks with a limp favouring his left
foot?

Omar moustaffa. H e was wounded in the
six day war against the israeli's...

while running away. A real hero.

- H e's been down here.
- What?

Take a look at the footprints.

H e left a deeper imprint with his right
foot than with his left foot.

- You're right.
- So where do we find him?

H e runs an import/export office in cairo...

basically, a small-time fence for
lower-priced artefacts stolen from dig sites.

Well, he hit the big time with your
diamond.

Yeah.

- What?
- N ext time, i'd definitely go with size six.

You think he left the country
with the diamond?

Yeah. The question is -
where did he go to sell it?

- Check the hardware.
- You got it.

- Nothing in his desk.
- Auto-dial numbers have been nuked.

The hard drive's been wiped, too.

Auto-redial? It's too easy.

That's why he might
have forgotten about it.

Royal hotel, mr. Boote speaking.

Yes, good morning, mr. Boote.
U h, i'm call from mr. Moustaffa's office.

U h, has he arrived yet?

Oh, this afternoon. Yes, of course.
U h, no, no, no message.

As a matter of fact, if you wouldn't mind
not mentioning i rang?

H e's so cross when i get disorganised.
You are so kind.

- Sydney. How long has it been?
- It's not something i keep track of.

- I miss our little adventures.
- What are you doing here, ko?

I've intercepted one of mr. Moustaffa's
enthusiastic conversations...

about his latest find.
It sounded very interesting.

And you know where he's gone.

Oh, let me get that information for you.

Oh, clumsy girl,
did i just erase the last number?

- I could kill the three of you.
- That's one option.

Or you could tell me where moustaffa is
and i'll let you all go.

Well, that's another. But then,
that's not half as much fun. No pain.

I can certainly feel yours!

- why did he let us go?
- you've got me.

Don't worry about it, let's just get
out of here. Drive!

A good location for moustaffa.

This area's the heart of one of the
biggest diamond markets in the world.

- The guys with the briefcase?
- Carrying fortunes in them.

I'm so sorry. Are you all right?

It's better for people to think that
you're with someone in this part of town...

- if you don't mind.
- Ah, the red-light district.

Yeah, another reason
for moustaffa to stay here.

English. I love the english.
I would do anything for the empire.

- Is... is... is that right?
- H mm... let me tell you...

ko's going to find us, you know.
It's just a matter of time.

Is he a relic hunter?

More a terrorist for hire. H e's not
interested in stealing and selling diamonds.

- What's he want it for then?
- That's what i was wondering.

- Ah, here we are. The royal Hotel.
- Yes. Where's Nigel?

Mmm... mmm-hmm... u h-huh...

you know, no one's going to give us
moustaffa's room number.

No, not unless we've got
a very good reason.

Sydney, thank god. I seem to be having
trouble communicating with karla.

Karla? You're already on a first-name
basis.

I can't make her understand
that i'm not interested.

- Saying no is a good way to start.
- I tried that, of course. She just kept talking.

Nice outfit. You mind if
i talk to you for a second?

- Mr. Boote?
- Yes.

I have an appointment to see
mr. Moustaffa.

Yes?

Omar said you might show me
to his room discretely.

Of course.

Show this young lady to suite 303.
U se the staff lift.

Thanks. Beat it.

Let's go. I want to get this over
with before anybody else arrives.

- Someone's inside.
- Moustaffa.

- Who else?
- I'm not so sure.

Who else would it be?

Ko. I know, it's not me, is it?
Where's moustaffa?

- Gone. I want that diamond.
- I know. You want it bad, don't you?

Five hundred million dollars,
if you deliver the diamond.

Who would pay a billion dollars
for a diamond, besides liz taylor?

I have buyers.

What is this stuff?

Well, i have never seen anything like it
before. What have you brought me, bruce?

- I was hoping you could tell us, theo.
- I wish i could.

Meaning?

The meteorite itself is comprised of
carbon, nitrogen, hydrogen...

copper, other trace elements, exactly
what we've seen in meteorites before.

But the diamond isn't a diamond...
there's no trace of carbon present.

- Then what's it made of?
- I don't know.

The refractive index of the material...

is so high that it actually absorbs light
and doesn't allow it to escape.

It's what a diamond does,
that's what makes a diamond sparkle.

It's holding light?

Exactly, inside the crystalline
structure.

It's like a... a belgian lace...

delicate and volatile.
I want to take a closer look.

The laser will illuminate the interior of
the crystal structure better.

Get down!

- Oh... oh...
- theo, you okay?

- In one piece, at least, yeah.
- What happened?

I'm sure i don't know.

Somehow, the laser altered
the molecular structure of the crystal...

and allowed the light inside to be
released.

And you were only working
with a sliver of it?

My god, what would happen if
a large piece were tampered with?

- As in cut.
- Well, it mustn't be cut...

the release of energy
could be catastrophic.

Is there any more of this material?

- Yes.
- May i see it?

I'm afraid not. It's been stolen.

Find it. Do whatever you have to do.
The... the stone must not be disturbed.

The hieroglyphics in thutmose's
tomb were right.

I know, i can't believe it.

Sydney, the finest diamond cutters
in the world are here in amsterdam.

As far as moustaffa knows, that stone's
the world's biggest diamond.

We've got to stop him before he blows
a hole in the middle of europe.

Sydney.

H ello, ko.

I suspected the stone had potential,
but i didn't know.

You've answered my questions.

Leave it alone, ko, it's too
dangerous, even for you.

Really? My offer stands. Fifty-fifty
when you deliver the stone, to me.

You've really got to work
on your people skills, ko.

We're big... Not big... i have mosquitoes?

- What is your destination?
- Let's go, guys. Off with it.

I know this is highly unusual.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Why don't you wait outside?
It'll only take a few minutes.

Yeah. But i have to stay in the cab.
It's... the policy of the company.

- Is that right?
- Yeah.

- What's your name?
- Volker.

- Volker.
- Yeah.

- Nice name.
- Oh, thank you.

- Hold this. This is my policy, volker.
- Yeah?

Now, why don't you to step outside
before i break your femur...

- you do know what a femur is, don't you?
- Yeah... here.

Let's go.

These guys, volker, i got to tell you.

How do you feel about going to
volkendam?

Oh, yeah.

Good, i'm glad you feel that way.
You're going there alone.

- Alone?
- Yes.

- I don't understand.
- And probably never will.

- Volkendam?
- Five hundred guilders.

- Well, that... that's... that's not
enough.

- That's a lot of money.
- Yeah, but it's not enough.

You ever heard of a tibia, volker?

Okay.

So this guy moustaffa, he's a ladies' man?

That's right.

No. No!

- wilkommen...
- very well, thank you. Same to you.

May i help you?

Perhaps.

I'm an old friend of omar moustaffa.

I'm in town on business and he told me
i should come and see you.

H e assured me that you would
be extremely helpful.

- C oncerning...
- c oncerning?

- Yes.
- Yes?

C oncerning...

well, concerning, that is,
in finding an escort.

- An escort.
- Yes.

I assure you, this will be no problem.

No? Really?

U m, he also said you might suggest
a place he enjoys.

- Plastic plastic.
- Plastic plastic? Sounds, um, lovely.

What is your preference? Perhaps
i can suggest someone.

My preference?
A little of this, a little of that, you know.

Of course. You're english.

- C onstanza.
- C onstanza?

Yes. She will be able to help you
with your problem.

Thank you.

This girl wants a diamond ring
better than most anything

there's nothing like a little rock
to make me love you round the clock

all the eyes will linger
on that sparkle on your finger

why do i suddenly feel like
i'm in a kubrick film?

- Moustaffa's got to be here.
- Yeah, let's start looking.

There's nothing like a little rock
to make me love you round the clock.

- U h, i don't think you want to do that.
- It's just a harmless smile.

- Nigel, you don't -
- sydney, i appreciate what you're...

trying to do, but sometimes,
you protect me too much.

I'm a grown man, after all, and i can
handle things more than you realise.

Suit yourself.

I admire your singing. Wonderful voice,
but... but i'm not interested.

Don't flatter yourself, pal, i was just
checking out the sweater. Calvin klein?

U m... banana republic.

- You okay?
- Yes, good, fine, thank you very much.

That's him, over there.

Oh. Well, while she's powdering whatever
it is she powders, i think i'll go fill in.

I haven't seen you here before.

This is my first time.

You know, for the right price,
i can be quite amusing.

And what would the right price be?

I like diamonds. Big diamonds.
You know what i'd really like?

The thutmose diamond.

I don't know what you're talking about.

H ere are the facts, mous'. You stole it...

you framed my friend bruce for it, and
brought it to amsterdam. We want it back.

The ancient egyptians had a most unusual
method of dealing with their lowlives.

Before they mummified the dead...

they ripped their brains out through
their nose with a hook...

for scum like you, they didn't
have to wait for them to be dead.

- I don't have the stone. I sold it.
- You sold it?

- This afternoon.
- To whom?

You don't know much about the
diamond business, do you?

- Nicholas van Holson.
- Yes.

Buys and sells diamonds
from around the world...

doesn't care where he gets them from,
nor do his clients.

Where do we find him?

H e's going to have the
diamond cut tomorrow.

H e's flown eric strombold in from
calcutta.

Strombold's the world's finest diamond
cutter.

- H e's known as the...
- don't even...

the cutter from calcutta?

- Yeah.
- Where is he now?

In his building. H e's invited an elite
group of clients to celebrate the cut.

- You'll never get close to the stone.
- Not unless we're invited to the party.

No. Whatever you're thinking, no.

Call this number, ask for c onstanza.

You're shaking. Aristocrats don't shake.

I may be vomiting soon.

Relax, would you?

The letter of introduction the earl sent
to van Holson for me is the perfect cover.

I'll handle the questions about the earl,
you just keep your eyes peeled for ko.

I'd feel a lot better if we
had some sort of game plan.

We do, that's why i asked you to
get the layout of the building.

- You did get it, didn't you?
- Of course. Off the internet.

The building used to be
a dutch trading company founded in...

- Nigel!
- So what's the plan?

We get in, we get the diamond,
and run like hell.

- How? When? Where?
- Don't sweat the small stuff.

- N ame, please.
- Phillip carlisle moth... roth!

Thank you.

The diamond must be behind
that curtain there.

How are we going to get at it?
I don't know yet. Let's take a look around.

Yes, well, i really don't think it's a
good idea to leave me... alone.

- You. You must be the earl's son.
- The earl. The son... i am... his son.

I just got a delightful fax from your
father.

H e... he sounds well.

Well, why shouldn't he be?
You know, rugby, cricket, polo.

- Don't know how he does it, really.
- In a wheelchair? N either do i.

H e... he said you'd be hard to fool.

- H e also said you were engaged.
- Yes, yes.

Where's the lovely lady?

Well, she's actually, um... well,
she's, uh...

very grateful to be here, mr. Van
Holson.

- My fianc?, sydney.
- Bailey. A pleasure, miss bailey.

I can't wait to see
what the fuss is all about.

We've been shopping forever
for an engagement ring.

- Perhaps this will be your last stop.
- It might be.

If you will ex cuse me,
i must get things started.

Now, what are we going to do?

Well, he's got to show off the diamond
before it's cut.

We'll just have to grab it and run.

Grab it and run? That's your plan?

- I'm improvising here, okay?
- Okay.

There's a light switch over there.
When i give you the signal, you hit it.

I'll make my move when it goes dark.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

In the twenty-seven years that i
have been in the diamond business,

i have never come across a stone
such as this.

It will become very special stones
for very special, discerning people.

So that you can get the full appreciation
of its magnificence...

i have arranged to have it cut
in front of your eyes.

Eric strombold is the only man in the world
that i would entrust to cut this diamond.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the cutting of the thutmose diamond.

I don't believe it.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

- What now, honey?
- I don't have a clue, dear.

Mr. Strombold will be cutting the diamond
this evening...

to mozart's viersehntes quartet in g,
an appropriate piece for an act of...

beauty and perfection.

H e could be anywhere in this building.
You're going to have to be my eyes, Nigel.

Right. Well, at least we know
it's a room with leaded windows.

- Got your walkie?
- Yes.

Is something wrong?

We just promised the earl we'd phone
as soon as we saw the diamond.

Don't be long.
The initial cut is about to be made.

Strombold will be ex ecuting a bulgari cut.

Some of you may be familiar with it.

Cutter's putting the stone in place.

Nigel, i think i've got it...
i don't have it.

For this, we having nothing but the best.
The most expensive laser cutter available.

- Nigel, i've got a problem.
- What's the matter?

There's a leaded glass office on every floor.

How many floors are in this building?

- Eleven.
- I don't have time to check all of them.

No, you don't.

H elp.

I'm sorry, sydney, i can't think of anything.

Well, keep trying.

Ladies room?

Sydney, the cutter's going to make his
cut any second now.

- Duck!
- What?

No, there's a duck emblem in the wall.

When i was checking the building's history,
i remember there was a company...

brown duck clothing.
They used to have offices here.

- What floor?
- The eleventh, i think.

- You think?
- I'm pretty sure. H urry, sydney!

H urry, hurry. Go, go, go!

Sorry, pardon me. Ex cited!

No!

Security.

- Did you get it?
- Let's get out of here.

You can't sell this to the highest
bidder, ko.

I believe in free enterprise.

- This could kill millions of people.
- Yes, that is unfortunate.

Nigel!

Now we're even for khartoum.

You will never get that diamond
out of amsterdam.

Tell that to the egyptian embassy.

And she cooks, too.

Sydney, one day, you are going to make
some man a very, very happy husband.

Whoa, kimosabe, slow down here.

- I didn't mean me.
- Why not?

It was just... it was just an
observation.

I was teasing, teasing. Relax, relax.
After what we've just been through...

i don't want to have anything to do with
diamonds for a long, long time.

Cheers.

I can't believe you didn't bring the
diamond back. That is so mean.

Claudia, it didn't belong to us.

Well, whatever happened to finders
keepers? I mean, that would certainly...

make this whole relic-hunting thing
a lot more interesting.

More interesting?

Claudia, the thutmose stone is an
incredibly important archaeological find.

And maybe scientific, too.

Bruce just called me from cairo.
H e said their hosting a symposium...

of scientists from around the world
that are coming there to study it.

- That's fantastic.
- I am, like, hyperventilating.

I'm sorry. It's just that you'd be
cranky, too,

if you had past lives like mine.

- Past lives?
- You, uh... you had your reading?

Totally depressing. I mean, we went back
a thousand years and i wasn't anyone.

What? No past lives at all?

No, a ton of lives,
just nothing cool. I mean,

no one famous or notorious or beautiful.

Just normal people...
god, i feel so common.

I mean, the closest thing that
i got to being an actress...

was cleaning shakespeare's house.

You're kidding. You knew the bard?

Who?

Claudia, history is made by everyone,
rich and poor, common and famous.

If this past lives thing is real, you've been
a part of a thousand years of amazing stuff.

Yeah, but didn't someone say that we all
get fifteen minutes of fame in our lives?

- Andy warhol.
- Yeah, okay. Well...

in twenty-seven lives, i didn't even get
fifteen seconds. That is not fair.

You're famous around here, claudia.

Really?

Yes, you've done things know one even
would think about doing.

- Was that a compliment?
- Absolutely.