Rel (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Windy City Politics - full transcript

Rel is taped in front of
a live studio audience.

What's up, y'all?
Nat's got some great news.

All right, Rel, Pop,

you know I been looking
for a job ever since

I got out of jail, right? Okay.

So Dollar Store said no. Okay?

Then the second Dollar Store said no.

Okay?

And then I didn't realized

that you have to have your own
car to drive Uber, but..

I didn't give up.



I hope, somewhere in this story,
that you got a job.

Pop, I got a job, baby.

Congratulations, man.

Where you working at, man?

Y'all are looking at
the new administrative assistant

for the office of
Alderman Willie Littles.

What?

Come on, man, that's a great job.

Guess it's a good thing those
Dollar Stores turned you down.

- I'm proud of you, son.
- Oh, thank you, Pop.

Um, thanks to Brittany,
though, you know.

For hooking the whole thing up.

Well, actually,
my homegirl Tia hooked it up.

See, she owed me a favor



for helping her out
with her Halloween costume.

She went as Rachel Dolezal.

Ooh.

The black white lady?

That's a hard costume.

Wait, wait, wait.

You talkin' about fine-ass Tia, right?

- Yep.
- You know what's crazy?

I saw her in a grocery store
a few days ago

and I was gonna go speak to her then.

I was moving my cart too fast,

and I ran into the sample lady and...

All the ham was spilled
all over my body,

it was just kind of weird.

So, uh...

would you mind
still hooking that up? Huh?

She only dates powerful men.

Wait a minute.

What's that supposed to mean?
I'm powerful.

I'm a nurse. Huh?

You know how powerful you gotta be

to pronounce somebody dead?

Look, Rel, forget about Tia.

I'm not letting you nowhere near her.

Besides, if I got any chance

of getting my own
clothing store someday,

I'm-a need friends
in the alderman's office.

They control everything
in this community.

She's right.

That's politics in the Windy City.

Or, as I call it, Windy City Politics.

You know where they got
that name don't you?

Yes, Dad.

Look, everybody thinks
it came from the wind.

But it came from politicians
sitting in a room, talking.

All that hot air, moving around.

Wind. Wind, going around.

Political wind.

Windy City Politics.

Oh, man.

The office of Alderman Willie Littles.

You know, somebody smashed
this same window

when the Cubs won the World Series?

History.

What do you mean, history, okay?

- History, schmistory. Where's Tia at?
- What, you...

you're here for Tia?
I thought you was here for me

to walk your brother
to his first day of work.

You a grown-ass man. This ain't
the first day of school.

Nat.

- Welcome.
- Thank you, ma'am.

I appreciate the opportunity.
Anything I can do

to improve the community, I will.

- Great.
- And, uh,

I'm his, uh...

I'm his big brother, Rel.
You know what I mean?

I'm, uh, Brittany's
best friend, you know?

Mm-hmm

You remember me, right?

Yeah, didn't I see you
at the grocery store?

Nah, that wasn't me,
you know what I mean?

I mean, I look like a lot
of dudes with glasses, you know.

People say I look like T-Pain
all the time.

Uh, hey.

Nadine, can you help Nat
with his paperwork?

Okay. Take care, Rel.

Hey.

- What's up?
- Look,

first of all, honestly, I just...

I just want to thank you

for, uh, looking out
for my brother, Nat.

You know, this is a good job for him.

That's why I'm about to go
to work at the hospital.

You know, I'm a nurse. I save lives.

That's great. The medical profession

is one of the pillars
of our community.

That's me.

You know, I'm a cool cat,
and I'm a pillar, you know,

which makes me a caterpillar.

You get it? Caterpillar?

- You put it together.
- Yeah.

Pardon me, Caterpillar.

Hey, Tia. Here's the shirt you bought.

Hey, Brittany. Thank you so much

for bringing this. I
can't wait to wear it.

No problem.
Listen, I know you're real busy,

so me and Rel can get out your way.

But listen, if any retail spaces
become available, you let...

Absolutely. You know
I'm-a let you know.

- All right, cool. Thank you, girl. Okay.
- Okay, take care. Rel, it was nice

to see you.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

What'd you do that for? I was
about to seal the deal with her.

Rel, you called yourself
a caterpillar.

Yeah, you right.

Hey, Nat.

I want to introduce you
to Alderman Littles.

Alderman, this is Nat,

our new administrative assistant.

Of course.

He's a part of that, uh, Ex-Con
Ex-cel Program we're starting.

Let me tell you this, young man.
Just because you sold drugs

doesn't necessarily mean
that you are a thug.

Understand that achieving
is believing.

Okay? We have to rectify
and correctify this community.

And that is why I'm so happy

- to put you back to work, son.
- Wow, thank you, seriously.

Because let me
tell you something, son.

There's no shortcut to success.

Okay, you got to put
your best foot forward.

You got to, uh, be focused, okay?

It can't be about the hocus pocus.

You know what I mean?
If you get put to the test,

you got to bring your best.

You get me?

Well, I'm-a leave you with this.

God bless you,

God bless the West Side of Chicago

and God bless the 28th Ward.

Wow.

- That Alderman Littles is some man.
- He is.

Nat, I'm really happy
to have you here.

Oh, thank you.

It's, um... it's nice to have someone

so young and fit in the office.

Hey, Nat.

You've been busy all week.
What's this?

Oh, I was just designing
a couple posters

for Alderman's next campaign.

Actually, right here,

this is my personal favorite.

Oh.

It's really great work.

Thank you.

Really... great.

Thank you.

There he is.

Mr. Nine-to-five. Mr. Working Man.

Mr. I Don't Need EBT Anymore.

I'm actually glad you're here.

I need to talk with you about Tia.

I knew it.

She's into me, ain't she?

Yeah, Brittany doesn't know anything.

Always hooking me up
with her disgusting friends.

Never the good ones.

No, bro, it's not that. Look...

I think Tia's hitting on me.

What?

Nah, man, get out of here.

Earlier she said
I did a good job on something,

right, and then she smacked my ass.

Come on, bruh.
That doesn't make any sense.

Okay? She seemed really into me.

What? When did she ever seem into you?

Brother, she called me a pillar
of this community. Come on.

Man, she calls everybody that
who walks in here.

Yesterday she called
Pretty Paul that, and he a pimp.

Okay, look,
that doesn't mean anything.

Okay? Me and her had a connection.

Did you or her have a connection?

No, no connection at all.
Look, I'm just trying

to do my work and stay out of trouble.

There's absolutely no
connection, what so ever.

Oh, hey, Rel

Oh, hey, Tia.

I see what it is.

See, because me and you are brothers

and you here every day,

she has transferred the vibe
me and her have to you, right?

What I have to do

is transfer that vibe back to me.

Okay. So, how we gonna do that?

Simple, brother. I'm-a ask her out.

Uh, hey, Tia.

Hey, Rel. You came to have lunch
with your brother?

No, you know,
not necessarily, you know.

I was down the street, man,
'cause, you know, there was a...

there was a pregnant lady
stuck in a tree.

You know,
and I had to climb up the tree

'cause I'm a athletic nurse,
you know what I mean?

Had to get her down,
and then she went into birth,

and then I had to, like,
deliver the baby,

so I need to wash my hands now.

That's what...

Wow. Well, the West Side of Chicago

owes you a great debt of gratitude.

You know something,
it's not all about that.

Just seeing that newborn baby's smile

is enough for me, you know.

So, uh...

I was wondering if, uh, you know...

you know, if you ain't busy,

you know, maybe I could
take you out to dinner

or, you know, go see a movie,
get some drinks.

No, thanks. I'm not interested in you.

Wow. I mean,

you could've gave me a soft no and...

then I ask again, and you
give me firm no and then...

Look, I don't mind being strung along.

Look, Rel, politics
is all about communication,

and I find direct communication
to be the most effective.

Man.

Windy City Politics.

So, did you transfer the vibe?

No. I tried it. Didn't work.

Shouldn't have come. Going to work.

Hey, Nat.

Come have a drink with me.

No, thank you. I was actually
just... just locking up.

I'm heading home right now, actually.

Oh, come on,
you're not gonna make your boss

drink by herself, are you?

Cheers.

- Okay, thanks.
- Nat, wait! Wait.

Ooh, you need to loosen up...

and smile more.

I'm working on that.

_ _

Hey, Nat. What's the damn problem?

I had my socks off.

And you know me:
when my socks are off,

I don't like to leave the house again.

Look, Dad,

today at work, my boss Tia...

she grabbed my junk.

I think I'm being sexually harassed.

Is Tia a man?

Is Tia ugly?

Oh, I can answer that.

She-she's, uh, she's very attractive,

but, um, she's one
of the meanest people

I've ever met in my life.

Then you are not being
sexually harassed.

You're only sexually harassed

when a woman's not attractive.

Let me give you an example.

If I was working for Pam Grier

and she hit on me,
wanted to give me sex, bam!

I got to take that.

Next thing you know,

I've lost my job. Now I'm down
here working at the post office

bragging to other mailmen,
"You know I hit Pam Grier, man."

It's not even about
how she looks, man.

I'm uncomfortable, Pop.

Like, I just want to go to work,
do a good job.

I don't know what to do.

Okay, look here, little bruh.
I'm a male nurse.

I get sexually harassed
all the time, all right?

But do you think I'm gonna
report 80-year-old Doris

that's going through stage four cancer

'cause she caressed my thigh? No.

Okay?

I'm-a grab a fruit cup,
and I'm-a stare out the window.

Do you know how hard it is for a
ex-con to get a job these days?

And they put us all in the same damn
box, man. Murderers, gangsters.

All I did was sell ecstasy
to rich, white kids

and now their parents won't hire me.

I don't know what to do, man.

I'm-a be honest with you, right?

You are a ex-con

and she's a very successful
and beautiful woman.

Ain't nobody gonna believe you.

I'm just being straight up, bro,
like, for real,

I know I know you,
but if I heard this story,

I wouldn't believe you either..

Look, Nat,

this job is a big opportunity for you.

If you could stick it out,
maybe you should.

I'm trying to stick it out, bro.
It's tough.

Getting this job,

I thought I would finally
get some type of control

over my life, and now I just...
I feel... I feel powerless.

What would you do?

I already told you what I'd do.
Pam Grier, I'm in.

But if it makes you feel
uncomfortable,

I don't think any situation is
worth sacrificing your dignity.

So if you want to quit,
I understand it.

I'm-a support you as long
as you need it, but if I hear

a year from now that you regret

not hitting that,
I'll kick you out my house.

Look, man, look, don't worry about it.

M-Maybe you should talk
to Brittany about it, okay?

Her and Tia are really good friends.

She could probably help you.

No, listen, that's just
gonna make everything

way more complicated.

Do not say nothing to Brittany.

I got you.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, what do you know
about this Tia woman?

Wow, Rel.

Tia rejects you, and so
you gonna have your dad

pump me for information?

- What?
- Here's the information:

she don't like you. Okay?

She's way too powerful,

she's too accomplished,
and she's very well-connected.

And if you try to come at her
again, she gonna crush you.

So, Nat, how's the job going?

Well... Tia says I'm doing good.

Uh, hey, Tia, can I talk to you
for a second?

Sure, come in, close the door.

Hey, Tia, so, um,

look, I really need this job,

but I-I'm uncomfortable with you
touching me all the time,

so I would like for you to stop it.

No.

Damn, that was direct.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I guess I have no choice.

If the only way to make you stop
is to give you what you want,

then... let's have sex then.

Tia, I had a couple...

Young Nat, why is your nipples out?

_ _

What is going on in here Tia?

He just walked in here and said
he wanted to have sex with me.

No, no, no, no, no.
She was sexually harassing me

and I was just giving in.

Okay, it seems as if we have
a bit of a situation here.

Come here, Nat, take a walk with me.

I promise you, Mr. Alderman,
I'm telling you the truth.

Look, see, son,
in this particular situation

we are partaking in,

in this era of sexual
re-districtification,

I cannot possibly believe you.

Now what you have done is,

you've put Alderman Willie Littles

in a sticky situation,

and it's two things that
Alderman Littles don't do:

is sticky and situations. Okay?

Now I could appreciate
the difficult position

you have put yourself in,

and I don't want to see you
get into any trouble.

I definitely don't want any trouble.

And, right, that's my top concern.

I believe in second chances.

I've had a second, a third,
and a fourth chance.

I have so many illegitimate children,

not in Chicago,
but they are everywhere.

Look here.

I just want to give you
a second chance

on your second chance.

I really appreciate that,
Mr. Alderman. Thank you so much.

- No problem.
- Wait, did you just fire me?

It appears that way.

You got fired,

but you saying Tia
sexually harassed you?

Yes. She been harassing me
and touching me

the whole entire week, Britt.

Nat, are you sure?

You know you got a habit
of misjudging people.

Remember you thought
the lady down the block

was kidnapping kids

when she just ran
a licensed orphanage?

Okay, Brittany, relax, okay?

He's not lying, all right?

Tia's not who we thought she was.

She's just another one
of your disgusting friends.

- Nat, are you sure about this?
- Yeah, Britt.

Damn. I'm going down there.

- Yo, Britt. Britt, wait.
- I'm going, Nat.

I can't do nothing right, bro.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
Just-just relax, bro.

- I didn't even last a week.
- It's not your fault.

Look, it's not your fault.

Everything is my fault, bro.

Okay, I'm tired of letting
you down, man.

I'm tired of disappointing Dad.

What's the point of me building
my life back up if I'm...

I'm just gonna mess it up anyway?

To be honest with you,
you ain't letting me down.

I feel like I let you down.

What do you mean, you let me down?

Look, little brah.

I remember when Mom, uh,
she brought you home

from the hospital, right?

You was a baby
in your little bassinet,

and I was just staring
and looking at you,

and just... I grabbed
your little hand,

and, you know, in that moment
I let you know

that I'd always protect you,

but when you needed me,
I didn't do that.

You got to understand something, bro,

when you went to jail, you know...

I pretty much blame myself for that.

Nat, you're one of my best friends,

you're not just my little brother.

And I felt bad, you know, dealing

with all the stuff I had
going on in my life,

and just focused on me,

and I forgot that my little
brother actually needed me.

Look, man, I mean, I got to be
responsible for my own mistakes.

But I need you to know something,

you've always been
a great brother to me.

And to be honest, I...

I always wanted to be like you.

You know, had a job,

a wife, a family.

I mean, I want it to turn
out better, of course, but...

Believe me, I did, too.

But you know something, Nat?
That's life, brah.

I'm gonna tell you this now.

You're gonna do so much more than me,

it's gonna be crazy.

I believe in you.

And I'm gonna be there with you
every step of the way

to make sure you accomplish
all the goals you want to do.

I'm proud of you, man.

I love you, bruh, come here.

- Love yo too, man.
- Huh.

Also, uh...

I'm sorry, uh,

tried to holler at the woman

who'd been sexually harassing you.

Man, it's okay.

I mean, you gotta take your shots

where you can take
your shots. I mean...

We need to talk
and you need to be honest.

Is this about me grabbing Nat?

You damn right it is.

Listen, Brittany.

I like letting men know
I'm more powerful than they are.

Guys have done a lot
worse to both of us

and gotten away with it.

Now it's our turn.

- Our turn?
- Mm-hmm.

Bitch, we ain't jumping rope.

We're trying to get it to where
everybody is respected.

And if you're doing this to
people, that'll make you

no better than the men you're
trying to get back at, Tia.

You know what, Brittany, don't come
in my office judging me on how...

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Look here, now.

I'm trying to record my podcast.

Want me to lose all 44
of my listeners?

Young Brittany, you're in
my office, you're loud.

Can I help you with something?

I'll tell you what you can
help me with.

You need to give my friend back
his job.

And tell Michelle Grope-bama
to back off of him.

My friend Nat has been working hard

to get his life back on track.

And he deserves a fair shot.

And if you don't give him one,

I'm gonna have a camera crew

down here,

and I'm gonna give them an interview

that tells them how
Alderman Littles has no morals

and no principles,

and how he turned a blind eye
to the He Too movement.

W-W-Wait. He, too?

Is that a movement?

Is He Too a thing?

It's a thing now.

Okay. Like... hey.

Look here, Ms. Brittany.

You seem a tad bit upset.

M-Maybe it's just a misunderstanding.

Look, take a seat. Let's just talk.

Okay, look at me. Let's conversate.

I may be your alderman,
but now I'm your alder-friend.

Let's reprogram this problem
and make it solutionable.

Can you believe they let me open

my own pop-up store for a month?

Congratulations, man,

- this is nice.
- Thank you.?

Mm. Alderman Littles, he's the man.

What?

You got this 'cause of
my sexual harassment.

You know that, right?

Like, this whole entire establishment

was built on my ass.

Well, your ass really
cut through the red tape.

Come on, son, look.

The system has been unfair
to women in the workforce

for over a hundred years,

you think it's gonna change
for men overnight?

Well, Windy City Politics.

As a community, we need to
recognize the importance

of non-gender-biased sexual harassment

at the workplace.

Be it man on man, woman on woman,

woman on man,
man on man, it doesn't matter.

We got to support the LGBTQRSTLMNOP,

sometimes "Y" community.

Alderman Littles does not see gender.

You right there,

I don't know if you're
my brother or my sister,

but does that matter? No.

Millie Bobby Brown
and regular Bobby Brown

exist in the same world.

And that is the community
we want to live in.

_ _