Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 32 - Pam I Am - full transcript
Benson try to win over a dome employee named Pam by sneaking her hot wings.
[♪♪♪]
Need to get the carousel
winterized.
Also check into swit--
Ohh!
Sorry about that.
No, I'm sorry.
I just get so caught up
in my work.
Me, too.
Hey, wait a sec.
I have the exact same
clip...
board.
You're Benson.
How'd you know?
I've been watching you.
Or, I mean,
not in a-a creepy
stalker way. It's my job.
Right.
So...how's that
fax working out?
Oh.
It's okay.
Well, I think
it's really cool.
Yeah, I get a lot
of important messages
from Langer
and the dome big wigs.
And in an emergency, got
the old speed dial here.
If you hear
this baby ringing--
Geez.
I am so sorry.
Oh, no worries.
Just one of Langer's
terrible protein bars.
He only allows "sanctioned food"
in the dome-itory.
What I wouldn't give
for some hot wings.
Wait.
You like hot wings?
Uh, yeah! It's literally
my favorite food.
Me, too. Well, maybe I'll just
have to swing by your lab
and drop some off.
Oh, yeah?
[CHUCKLES]
You're gonna sneak
past the guards?
Maybe I will.
Well, if you do that,
then you'll be
my favorite person ever.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[SIGHS]
[PAGER BEEPING]
Oh, geez. Langer.
I got to go.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
It was nice.
[WHISPERING]
By the way, it's Pam.
What?
Ohh. My name is Pa-a-a-a-m!
[SIGHS]
Pam.
RIGBY: [SINGSONG VOICE] Benson.
Wha...?
Dude, what's wrong
with your face?
He's glowing.
I've never seen him
like this before.
Yeah.
It's weird.
I just met
the most amazing girl.
We had a real chemistry.
Gross. Benson,
I'm trying to eat here.
Eat?
The wings!
I got to get her wings!
How can I ask her out
if I don't have wings?!
Wait, Benson,
that's our stuff!
Hey, want to go
to the spot?
Yeah, I do.
[BOTH GUFFAW]
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
What would Pam want?
Regular?
One order of re--
}
No, wait. Spicy.
One order--
What if she doesn't like spicy?
I'll get half spicy.
They're just wings, buddy.
Just wings?
These wings might decide
whether or not I get to go out
with the girl of my dreams.
Everything has to be perfect!
Mommy,
I'm scared.
Uh, sir,
if you can't decide,
I'd recommend
the Big 50 Special.
It's a bucket of 50
different kinds of wings,
and it comes
with a liter of ranch.
Yeah, that actually sounds
pretty good. I'll get that.
You want those crispy
or crunchy?
How crispy is "crispy"?
[ALL GROAN]
[♪♪♪]
Got to get in there.
These wings aren't
getting any warmer.
Hmm.
Bingo.
Fellas!
Mondays. Am I right?
[COUGHS]
Anyways, got an important fax
from Langer. [SIGHS]
Just gonna pop in and see
what the old boss man wants.
Not until
we frisk you, sir.
Guys, it's me.
Benson.
Manager...
of the park...this park.
Sorry, buddy.
It's regulation.
Cool. Cool.
That's cool.
[INHALES]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
This is outrageous!
Frisk me?
I should frisk you!
This is my park!
There's got to be
another way in here.
Jackpot.
[GRUNTS]
Oh. I see your
little game, Langer.
However, I happen to know
that statistically,
the most common pass code is
one...two...three...
four...five.
Uh...six?
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
Aah! [GROANS]
So, it's a numbers game, is it?
Let's play.
One, one, one, one,
one, one, one! Aah!
One, one, one, one, one,
one, two! Aah! Geez!
One, one, one, one,
one, one, three! [GROANING]
Agh. This is crazy.
Oh, Benson.
[LAUGHS]
Have some dignity.
Aah!
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[SCREAMING IN DISTANCE]
Aah!
This is my park!
I should know the stupid code!
What are you two
doing here?
Shh.
Listen.
Man, we should have just pounded
him and took those wings.
Seriously.
If I got to eat any more
of that lousy
dome-itory food,
someone's getting
a pounding!
What the heck?
The sound from the guard post
bounces off of the dome
and back down to
this exact spot.
It's science.
I don't think you guys
should be wasting your time
eavesdropping on--
Delivery for Langer.
Take it around back.
What's that
pass code again?
[GROANS]
The code is "Langer."
L-A-N-G-E-R.
Got it?
Nice work!
[LAUGHS]
Ha-ha!
Uh...
Hmm.
Wait, wait, wait.
Uh-oh.
What the...?
[SCREAMING]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[GROANS]
What the heck is this place?
[WHISPERING]
Pam?
[ECHOING]
Pam?
[THUD]
Pam?
Hey, Pam.
[HISSING]
Aah! Aah!
What would you do
if we actually
caught someone
trespassing in here?
[CHUCKLING] Oh, man,
I'd give them a crazy beating.
They'd be like,
"No, please, don't hurt me!"
And I'd be like,
"I have to. It's my job."
Whomp, whomp, whomp,
whomp, whomp!
[♪♪♪]
[SNORING]
No way.
It's Pam!
Room 309.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
Pam!
Whoa!
Ohh!
[THUD]
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!
I brought wings!
[GASPS]
Oh, Benson! No way!
[DOOR OPENS]
Come on.
The perfect spot
for a picnic.
It sure is.
Now, I wasn't sure
what kind of wings you liked,
so I got a little bit
of everything.
Mmm. First non-dome food
in three weeks.
Mmm! Oh, my gosh.
Mmm. This is amazing.
Promise to sneak me a bucket
of these every day?
Yes.
Yes, I will.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh.
I also got ranch.
Uh, thanks,
but I'm really not a fan.
Me, neither.
Get out of here, ranch.
Nobody likes you, ranch.
Go find a salad!
[BOTH LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
♪ I don't care
if Monday's blue ♪
♪ Tuesday's gray,
and Wednesday, too ♪
♪ Thursday,
I don't care about you ♪
♪ It's Friday
I'm in love ♪
♪ Monday you can fall apart ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
break my heart ♪
♪ Oh, Thursday
Doesn't even start ♪
♪ It's Friday
I'm in love ♪
♪ Saturday, wait ♪
♪ Sunday always
Comes too late ♪
♪ But Friday never hesitate ♪
♪ I don't care
if Monday's black ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
heart attack ♪
♪ Thursday, never looking... ♪
Benson, this has been
the best lunch ever.
Pam, there's something
I want to say.
[CLEARS THROAT]
What's that noise?
I was just clearing my throat.
No, that noise.
[BOTH SCREAM AND PANT]
It's not working!
Grab something!
[♪♪♪]
Benso-o-o-o-n!
Pam!
Huh?
Pam!
[PANTING]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTING]
Oh, Pam,
I'm so sorry for getting you
into this mess.
I just wanted to get you
some hot wings because--
because I really wanted
to see you again.
Oh, Benson, you know, my life
is just work, work, work.
And even though
we're both about to die
a horrific and entirely
preventable death,
I'm really glad I got to
spend this time with you.
[♪♪♪]
[BURPS]
Sorry.
Sorry, I'm so...
What?
The burp.
Pam, you've got to burp.
[BURPS]
Nice!
It worked!
[LAUGHS]
Oh, my gosh.
That was crazy.
Benson,
you beautiful genius.
You did it.
You saved us.
[CLAPPING]
Yes, Benson,
you're very smart.
Langer!
Did you just see that?
[LAUGHING] Oh, no.
Wait, I meant the other thing.
You're very dumb!
You didn't burp yourself
to safety!
Your ranch turned on this
top-secret anti-gravity machine!
Look at this place!
I-I'm sorry, sir.
We were having lunch, and it--
it got out of hand.
Lunch?
Lu-- Like a...date?
Well, um...
Yeah,
like a date.
You told me that you were
too busy to date.
You know what?
Forget it.
I'm issuing a new policy
effective immediately.
There will be no dating
test subjects in this dome.
Both of you, report to
the decontamination room now!
[SCREAMING]
Hey, watch it.
Not in the face!
[SCREAMING]
[SOBBING]
[SCREAMING]
PAM:
I had a great time today.
[GROANS]
Me, too, memory of Pam.
[LAUGHS]
No, Benson, over here.
Huh?
Check your pocket.
A wing.
I snuck one out
for both of us.
Ahh, no way.
Pam, can we go out
when this is all over?
[CHUCKLES]
Of course, Benson.
[MUNCHES]
[LAUGHS]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[RIGBY AND MORDECAI LAUGHING]
Get back to work!
[♪♪♪]
Need to get the carousel
winterized.
Also check into swit--
Ohh!
Sorry about that.
No, I'm sorry.
I just get so caught up
in my work.
Me, too.
Hey, wait a sec.
I have the exact same
clip...
board.
You're Benson.
How'd you know?
I've been watching you.
Or, I mean,
not in a-a creepy
stalker way. It's my job.
Right.
So...how's that
fax working out?
Oh.
It's okay.
Well, I think
it's really cool.
Yeah, I get a lot
of important messages
from Langer
and the dome big wigs.
And in an emergency, got
the old speed dial here.
If you hear
this baby ringing--
Geez.
I am so sorry.
Oh, no worries.
Just one of Langer's
terrible protein bars.
He only allows "sanctioned food"
in the dome-itory.
What I wouldn't give
for some hot wings.
Wait.
You like hot wings?
Uh, yeah! It's literally
my favorite food.
Me, too. Well, maybe I'll just
have to swing by your lab
and drop some off.
Oh, yeah?
[CHUCKLES]
You're gonna sneak
past the guards?
Maybe I will.
Well, if you do that,
then you'll be
my favorite person ever.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[SIGHS]
[PAGER BEEPING]
Oh, geez. Langer.
I got to go.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
It was nice.
[WHISPERING]
By the way, it's Pam.
What?
Ohh. My name is Pa-a-a-a-m!
[SIGHS]
Pam.
RIGBY: [SINGSONG VOICE] Benson.
Wha...?
Dude, what's wrong
with your face?
He's glowing.
I've never seen him
like this before.
Yeah.
It's weird.
I just met
the most amazing girl.
We had a real chemistry.
Gross. Benson,
I'm trying to eat here.
Eat?
The wings!
I got to get her wings!
How can I ask her out
if I don't have wings?!
Wait, Benson,
that's our stuff!
Hey, want to go
to the spot?
Yeah, I do.
[BOTH GUFFAW]
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
What would Pam want?
Regular?
One order of re--
}
No, wait. Spicy.
One order--
What if she doesn't like spicy?
I'll get half spicy.
They're just wings, buddy.
Just wings?
These wings might decide
whether or not I get to go out
with the girl of my dreams.
Everything has to be perfect!
Mommy,
I'm scared.
Uh, sir,
if you can't decide,
I'd recommend
the Big 50 Special.
It's a bucket of 50
different kinds of wings,
and it comes
with a liter of ranch.
Yeah, that actually sounds
pretty good. I'll get that.
You want those crispy
or crunchy?
How crispy is "crispy"?
[ALL GROAN]
[♪♪♪]
Got to get in there.
These wings aren't
getting any warmer.
Hmm.
Bingo.
Fellas!
Mondays. Am I right?
[COUGHS]
Anyways, got an important fax
from Langer. [SIGHS]
Just gonna pop in and see
what the old boss man wants.
Not until
we frisk you, sir.
Guys, it's me.
Benson.
Manager...
of the park...this park.
Sorry, buddy.
It's regulation.
Cool. Cool.
That's cool.
[INHALES]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
This is outrageous!
Frisk me?
I should frisk you!
This is my park!
There's got to be
another way in here.
Jackpot.
[GRUNTS]
Oh. I see your
little game, Langer.
However, I happen to know
that statistically,
the most common pass code is
one...two...three...
four...five.
Uh...six?
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
Aah! [GROANS]
So, it's a numbers game, is it?
Let's play.
One, one, one, one,
one, one, one! Aah!
One, one, one, one, one,
one, two! Aah! Geez!
One, one, one, one,
one, one, three! [GROANING]
Agh. This is crazy.
Oh, Benson.
[LAUGHS]
Have some dignity.
Aah!
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[SCREAMING IN DISTANCE]
Aah!
This is my park!
I should know the stupid code!
What are you two
doing here?
Shh.
Listen.
Man, we should have just pounded
him and took those wings.
Seriously.
If I got to eat any more
of that lousy
dome-itory food,
someone's getting
a pounding!
What the heck?
The sound from the guard post
bounces off of the dome
and back down to
this exact spot.
It's science.
I don't think you guys
should be wasting your time
eavesdropping on--
Delivery for Langer.
Take it around back.
What's that
pass code again?
[GROANS]
The code is "Langer."
L-A-N-G-E-R.
Got it?
Nice work!
[LAUGHS]
Ha-ha!
Uh...
Hmm.
Wait, wait, wait.
Uh-oh.
What the...?
[SCREAMING]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[GROANS]
What the heck is this place?
[WHISPERING]
Pam?
[ECHOING]
Pam?
[THUD]
Pam?
Hey, Pam.
[HISSING]
Aah! Aah!
What would you do
if we actually
caught someone
trespassing in here?
[CHUCKLING] Oh, man,
I'd give them a crazy beating.
They'd be like,
"No, please, don't hurt me!"
And I'd be like,
"I have to. It's my job."
Whomp, whomp, whomp,
whomp, whomp!
[♪♪♪]
[SNORING]
No way.
It's Pam!
Room 309.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
Pam!
Whoa!
Ohh!
[THUD]
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!
I brought wings!
[GASPS]
Oh, Benson! No way!
[DOOR OPENS]
Come on.
The perfect spot
for a picnic.
It sure is.
Now, I wasn't sure
what kind of wings you liked,
so I got a little bit
of everything.
Mmm. First non-dome food
in three weeks.
Mmm! Oh, my gosh.
Mmm. This is amazing.
Promise to sneak me a bucket
of these every day?
Yes.
Yes, I will.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh.
I also got ranch.
Uh, thanks,
but I'm really not a fan.
Me, neither.
Get out of here, ranch.
Nobody likes you, ranch.
Go find a salad!
[BOTH LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
♪ I don't care
if Monday's blue ♪
♪ Tuesday's gray,
and Wednesday, too ♪
♪ Thursday,
I don't care about you ♪
♪ It's Friday
I'm in love ♪
♪ Monday you can fall apart ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
break my heart ♪
♪ Oh, Thursday
Doesn't even start ♪
♪ It's Friday
I'm in love ♪
♪ Saturday, wait ♪
♪ Sunday always
Comes too late ♪
♪ But Friday never hesitate ♪
♪ I don't care
if Monday's black ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
heart attack ♪
♪ Thursday, never looking... ♪
Benson, this has been
the best lunch ever.
Pam, there's something
I want to say.
[CLEARS THROAT]
What's that noise?
I was just clearing my throat.
No, that noise.
[BOTH SCREAM AND PANT]
It's not working!
Grab something!
[♪♪♪]
Benso-o-o-o-n!
Pam!
Huh?
Pam!
[PANTING]
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTING]
Oh, Pam,
I'm so sorry for getting you
into this mess.
I just wanted to get you
some hot wings because--
because I really wanted
to see you again.
Oh, Benson, you know, my life
is just work, work, work.
And even though
we're both about to die
a horrific and entirely
preventable death,
I'm really glad I got to
spend this time with you.
[♪♪♪]
[BURPS]
Sorry.
Sorry, I'm so...
What?
The burp.
Pam, you've got to burp.
[BURPS]
Nice!
It worked!
[LAUGHS]
Oh, my gosh.
That was crazy.
Benson,
you beautiful genius.
You did it.
You saved us.
[CLAPPING]
Yes, Benson,
you're very smart.
Langer!
Did you just see that?
[LAUGHING] Oh, no.
Wait, I meant the other thing.
You're very dumb!
You didn't burp yourself
to safety!
Your ranch turned on this
top-secret anti-gravity machine!
Look at this place!
I-I'm sorry, sir.
We were having lunch, and it--
it got out of hand.
Lunch?
Lu-- Like a...date?
Well, um...
Yeah,
like a date.
You told me that you were
too busy to date.
You know what?
Forget it.
I'm issuing a new policy
effective immediately.
There will be no dating
test subjects in this dome.
Both of you, report to
the decontamination room now!
[SCREAMING]
Hey, watch it.
Not in the face!
[SCREAMING]
[SOBBING]
[SCREAMING]
PAM:
I had a great time today.
[GROANS]
Me, too, memory of Pam.
[LAUGHS]
No, Benson, over here.
Huh?
Check your pocket.
A wing.
I snuck one out
for both of us.
Ahh, no way.
Pam, can we go out
when this is all over?
[CHUCKLES]
Of course, Benson.
[MUNCHES]
[LAUGHS]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[RIGBY AND MORDECAI LAUGHING]
Get back to work!
[♪♪♪]