Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 30 - Marvolo the Wizard - full transcript
Pops thinks he's mysteriously in medieval times and a wizard named Marvolo.
[♪♪♪]
[ALARM CLOCK RINGS]
[YAWNS]
[SINGSONG VOICE]
La, la-la, la-la, ah!
[WHISTLING]
Aah!
What in the dickens?!
[MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[SHRIEKS]
Aah!
Where did
the house go?!
I've gone back in time.
[GASPS]
Watch where
thou doth walketh!
Oh, my!
[GASPS]
[GRUNTS]
You like tomatoes?
How about
these tomatoes?!
Enhh!
How about another?
And another?
[CACKLES]
Oh, oh, oh!
Aah! Ooh!
[FLUTE PLAYS]
Ooh!
Aaah!
Eeh!
[WHIMPERING]
Bad show!
BENSON:
All right, now, I know things
have been crazy with
the dome and everything,
but thanks for getting up early
and setting up
for the renaissance fair.
This is gonna be
a big money-maker for us.
One last thing,
as of this moment,
your modern selves
are no more.
Mordecai and Rigby,
You'll be Mordicus
and Rignatius,
lowly street
vendors.
Skips, you'll be
Barnaby the ripped,
guard to
the king.
Fives and
Muscle Man,
you'll be Palom
and Porom, gatekeepers.
I'm not wearing this, bro.
This cut isn't flattering
to my butt.
And of course, I will play
King Edmund of Parklandia!
Where's my wizard?
Where's Marvolo?
If you mean Pops,
nobody's seen him all morning.
What?!
[GROANS]
He's the star
of our big closing ceremony,
"Marvolo vs. the dragon"!
We have a dragon?
Yes!
[♪♪♪]
Without a big closer,
the commoners will
demand refunds.
Find Marvolo, and don't
breaketh thy character,
or I'll smite thee
with unemployment!
The things I do for a paycheck.
I'm not gonna wear this.
I hope the power
doesn't go to his head.
[ADVENTUROUS
MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
Uh, excuse me?
Help?
I'm trying
to get to my own time.
What's the matter, love?
You lost?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Freak!
Oh, another fine mess
I've gotten myself into.
How will I ever get home?
RIGBY: [GROANS]
This costume is making
my butt itch.
Rignatius, stay in character,
or we're gonna get fired.
Oh, sorry.
Mine butteth itcheth.
No, wait-- Mine bottometh?
Me cheeks?
Yeah, that worketh.
Me cheeks itcheth!
Mordecai and Rigby!
I thought
I'd never see you again!
Oh, dude, Pops--
Uh, I mean Marvolo.
Marvolo?
No, it's me, Pops.
No, no, you are Marvolo,
huh, the wizard, yeah?
What's wrong
with your eye?
Listen, Marvolo, you have
a very important job to do.
You have
to defeat the dragon,
or everyone will
demandeth a refund.
Dragon?
I won't fight a dragon,
Mordecai and Rigby!
Marvolo, do you
want to be sacked?
Call us Mordicus
and Rignatius.
Yeah, the Mordecai and Rigby
you know haven't been born yet.
[GASPS]
Cometh with us,
and we shall
explain everything.
You don't want to make
King Edmund mad, do you?
Mad king?
[SCREAMS]
The king's
not gonna like this.
BENSON:
[SCREAMS]
What doth thoust mean
you lost him?
He got frightened
and fled.
He seems really confused,
my liege.
Impossible.
this doth be unacceptable!
Hey, man,
don't yell at us!
Pops is the one
flipping out.
[GASPS]
"Flipping out"?
Mine ears ache from
period-inappropriate prose.
Mayhaps a refund is
in order, auntie.
[GASPS]
Pay no heed!
The king wishes good tidings
on thee all!
BOTH:
Huzzah!
Now go forth
and encourage others
to spend coin
of their own.
What did I say about
breaking thine character?
BOTH:
Forgiveness! Forgiveness!
No matter.
It appears I must fetch
Marvolo mine-self.
[GROANS]
This is bogus--
Like,
super-lame-o-deluxe.
Yeah,
totally wack, guys.
By order
of mad King Edmund,
these two shall be punished
for the crime
of not staying
in character!
You maketh me sick!
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHTER]
[GROANS]
Fine.
I'll wear the costume.
Oh, Muscle Man,
Hi Five Ghost!
You are stuck in this
dreadful place, as well?
Our names are Palom
and Porom, sir.
The mad king's reign of
terror must end, Marvolo.
I'm not Marvolo!
Why does everybody
keep calling me that?
I just want to go home.
Only you can end this.
End this, Marvolo.
Yeah, end this.
Hey, seize Marvolo
by the order of mad King Edmund!
He's, like, really,
really upset about this.
Seize him!
[KNIGHTS GRUNTING]
Aah!
Go, bro!
Aah!
[WHIMPERS]
[BIRD SHRIEKING]
Aah!
No-o-o-o-o-o!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Huh?
[FANFARE PLAYS]
Marvolo the wizard,
a powerful dragon
hath descended upon us,
and only ye can stop it!
Oh, you must be
the mad king.
Look, Marvolo, if you don't slay
the dragon right now,
the commoners will
demand refunds,
and my kingdome
shall crumble!
For the last time,
stop calling me Marvolo!
[CRIES]
POPS:
Skips, am I back home?
I know not
of this Skips.
I am
Barnaby the ripped.
King Edmund hath sent me
to prepare ye
for battle against
the dragon, Marvolo.
What?
Oh, no.
Take this.
For the closing ceremony,
all you have to do is
point it at the dragon
and press ye button
to defeat it.
You can end all of this,
and we can go home.
The kingdome of Parklandia
awaits thee.
Everybody's telling me
I'm Marvolo.
Maybe I am Marvolo.
Who am I?
You are Marvolo.
No.
It can't be.
It is so.
I am you,
and you are me.
Then it doth be true.
Oh!
Yes.
You are ready.
It is time
to face your destiny.
End this.
I am Marvolo.
[FANFARE PLAYS]
Presenting King Edmond
of Parklandia!
My loyal subjects,
thank ye for joining me
on this glorious day.
I trust your experiences
in my kingdome
hath been
most pleasurable.
May we rejoice in hopes
that nothing bad should
ever happen.
[WIND WHISTLES]
I said,
"may we rejoice in hopes
that nothing bad should
ever happen"!
Yeah, yeah.
I heard you.
[GROANING]
[GATE CREAKING]
[♪♪♪]
[DRAGON SNARLS]
[APPLAUSE]
Fire--
The fire!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Oh, no!
This is truly
the greatest calamity
in the history of Parklandia!
There is only one wizard
who can put on end
to this reign of terror!
Presenting
Marvolo the wizard!
[♪♪♪]
[DRAGON SNARLS]
[GULPS]
Uh, ooh! Oh!
[SPECTATORS BOOING]
Man,
this is lame.
We should have gone
to the ren fair
over Eeast Pines
instead.
BOTH:
Ye olde refund!
Ye olde refund!
[ALL CHANTING]:
Ye olde refund!
Ye olde refund!
Fight, Marvolo!
Fight to the death!
[GROANING]
Oohhhhh!
Ooh!
Here!
Give me that!
Leteth go, man!
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[LAUGHS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Servant,
save ye king!
Marvolo, get thine wand,
and press the button!
Hm!
[DRAGON GROANS]
All right,
you big brute.
This ends now!
[DRAGON ROARS]
I did it?
Good show!
Aah!
BOTH: Pops!
[SCREAMING]
Best ren faire ever!
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
I did it!
I defeated the dragon!
Now I get to go home.
He's waking up.
[GROANS]
King Edmund, Barnaby,
Rignatius, and Mordicus?
No, Pops, it's us.
Everything is back to normal.
The park broke even,
and all is well.
But I was
in medieval times.
It was so real.
You were a mad king,
and you were there,
and you, and you,
and I was--
[GASPS]
Shhh.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES,
TIRES SCREECH]
[♪♪♪]
[ALARM CLOCK RINGS]
[YAWNS]
[SINGSONG VOICE]
La, la-la, la-la, ah!
[WHISTLING]
Aah!
What in the dickens?!
[MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[SHRIEKS]
Aah!
Where did
the house go?!
I've gone back in time.
[GASPS]
Watch where
thou doth walketh!
Oh, my!
[GASPS]
[GRUNTS]
You like tomatoes?
How about
these tomatoes?!
Enhh!
How about another?
And another?
[CACKLES]
Oh, oh, oh!
Aah! Ooh!
[FLUTE PLAYS]
Ooh!
Aaah!
Eeh!
[WHIMPERING]
Bad show!
BENSON:
All right, now, I know things
have been crazy with
the dome and everything,
but thanks for getting up early
and setting up
for the renaissance fair.
This is gonna be
a big money-maker for us.
One last thing,
as of this moment,
your modern selves
are no more.
Mordecai and Rigby,
You'll be Mordicus
and Rignatius,
lowly street
vendors.
Skips, you'll be
Barnaby the ripped,
guard to
the king.
Fives and
Muscle Man,
you'll be Palom
and Porom, gatekeepers.
I'm not wearing this, bro.
This cut isn't flattering
to my butt.
And of course, I will play
King Edmund of Parklandia!
Where's my wizard?
Where's Marvolo?
If you mean Pops,
nobody's seen him all morning.
What?!
[GROANS]
He's the star
of our big closing ceremony,
"Marvolo vs. the dragon"!
We have a dragon?
Yes!
[♪♪♪]
Without a big closer,
the commoners will
demand refunds.
Find Marvolo, and don't
breaketh thy character,
or I'll smite thee
with unemployment!
The things I do for a paycheck.
I'm not gonna wear this.
I hope the power
doesn't go to his head.
[ADVENTUROUS
MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
Uh, excuse me?
Help?
I'm trying
to get to my own time.
What's the matter, love?
You lost?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Freak!
Oh, another fine mess
I've gotten myself into.
How will I ever get home?
RIGBY: [GROANS]
This costume is making
my butt itch.
Rignatius, stay in character,
or we're gonna get fired.
Oh, sorry.
Mine butteth itcheth.
No, wait-- Mine bottometh?
Me cheeks?
Yeah, that worketh.
Me cheeks itcheth!
Mordecai and Rigby!
I thought
I'd never see you again!
Oh, dude, Pops--
Uh, I mean Marvolo.
Marvolo?
No, it's me, Pops.
No, no, you are Marvolo,
huh, the wizard, yeah?
What's wrong
with your eye?
Listen, Marvolo, you have
a very important job to do.
You have
to defeat the dragon,
or everyone will
demandeth a refund.
Dragon?
I won't fight a dragon,
Mordecai and Rigby!
Marvolo, do you
want to be sacked?
Call us Mordicus
and Rignatius.
Yeah, the Mordecai and Rigby
you know haven't been born yet.
[GASPS]
Cometh with us,
and we shall
explain everything.
You don't want to make
King Edmund mad, do you?
Mad king?
[SCREAMS]
The king's
not gonna like this.
BENSON:
[SCREAMS]
What doth thoust mean
you lost him?
He got frightened
and fled.
He seems really confused,
my liege.
Impossible.
this doth be unacceptable!
Hey, man,
don't yell at us!
Pops is the one
flipping out.
[GASPS]
"Flipping out"?
Mine ears ache from
period-inappropriate prose.
Mayhaps a refund is
in order, auntie.
[GASPS]
Pay no heed!
The king wishes good tidings
on thee all!
BOTH:
Huzzah!
Now go forth
and encourage others
to spend coin
of their own.
What did I say about
breaking thine character?
BOTH:
Forgiveness! Forgiveness!
No matter.
It appears I must fetch
Marvolo mine-self.
[GROANS]
This is bogus--
Like,
super-lame-o-deluxe.
Yeah,
totally wack, guys.
By order
of mad King Edmund,
these two shall be punished
for the crime
of not staying
in character!
You maketh me sick!
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHTER]
[GROANS]
Fine.
I'll wear the costume.
Oh, Muscle Man,
Hi Five Ghost!
You are stuck in this
dreadful place, as well?
Our names are Palom
and Porom, sir.
The mad king's reign of
terror must end, Marvolo.
I'm not Marvolo!
Why does everybody
keep calling me that?
I just want to go home.
Only you can end this.
End this, Marvolo.
Yeah, end this.
Hey, seize Marvolo
by the order of mad King Edmund!
He's, like, really,
really upset about this.
Seize him!
[KNIGHTS GRUNTING]
Aah!
Go, bro!
Aah!
[WHIMPERS]
[BIRD SHRIEKING]
Aah!
No-o-o-o-o-o!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Huh?
[FANFARE PLAYS]
Marvolo the wizard,
a powerful dragon
hath descended upon us,
and only ye can stop it!
Oh, you must be
the mad king.
Look, Marvolo, if you don't slay
the dragon right now,
the commoners will
demand refunds,
and my kingdome
shall crumble!
For the last time,
stop calling me Marvolo!
[CRIES]
POPS:
Skips, am I back home?
I know not
of this Skips.
I am
Barnaby the ripped.
King Edmund hath sent me
to prepare ye
for battle against
the dragon, Marvolo.
What?
Oh, no.
Take this.
For the closing ceremony,
all you have to do is
point it at the dragon
and press ye button
to defeat it.
You can end all of this,
and we can go home.
The kingdome of Parklandia
awaits thee.
Everybody's telling me
I'm Marvolo.
Maybe I am Marvolo.
Who am I?
You are Marvolo.
No.
It can't be.
It is so.
I am you,
and you are me.
Then it doth be true.
Oh!
Yes.
You are ready.
It is time
to face your destiny.
End this.
I am Marvolo.
[FANFARE PLAYS]
Presenting King Edmond
of Parklandia!
My loyal subjects,
thank ye for joining me
on this glorious day.
I trust your experiences
in my kingdome
hath been
most pleasurable.
May we rejoice in hopes
that nothing bad should
ever happen.
[WIND WHISTLES]
I said,
"may we rejoice in hopes
that nothing bad should
ever happen"!
Yeah, yeah.
I heard you.
[GROANING]
[GATE CREAKING]
[♪♪♪]
[DRAGON SNARLS]
[APPLAUSE]
Fire--
The fire!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Oh, no!
This is truly
the greatest calamity
in the history of Parklandia!
There is only one wizard
who can put on end
to this reign of terror!
Presenting
Marvolo the wizard!
[♪♪♪]
[DRAGON SNARLS]
[GULPS]
Uh, ooh! Oh!
[SPECTATORS BOOING]
Man,
this is lame.
We should have gone
to the ren fair
over Eeast Pines
instead.
BOTH:
Ye olde refund!
Ye olde refund!
[ALL CHANTING]:
Ye olde refund!
Ye olde refund!
Fight, Marvolo!
Fight to the death!
[GROANING]
Oohhhhh!
Ooh!
Here!
Give me that!
Leteth go, man!
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[LAUGHS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Servant,
save ye king!
Marvolo, get thine wand,
and press the button!
Hm!
[DRAGON GROANS]
All right,
you big brute.
This ends now!
[DRAGON ROARS]
I did it?
Good show!
Aah!
BOTH: Pops!
[SCREAMING]
Best ren faire ever!
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
I did it!
I defeated the dragon!
Now I get to go home.
He's waking up.
[GROANS]
King Edmund, Barnaby,
Rignatius, and Mordicus?
No, Pops, it's us.
Everything is back to normal.
The park broke even,
and all is well.
But I was
in medieval times.
It was so real.
You were a mad king,
and you were there,
and you, and you,
and I was--
[GASPS]
Shhh.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES,
TIRES SCREECH]
[♪♪♪]