Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 6, Episode 19 - I See Turtles - full transcript
Eileen and the gang decide to watch the hatching of the turtles and their descent into the sea.
[♪♪♪]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC STOPS]
That concludes
my interpretive dance piece
asking if you wanna watch
sea turtles hatch
tonight at sunset.
Whoa! Who could pass that up?
I'm in!
If we're gonna be at the beach,
that means we can go camping.
You know what goes with
camping and beaches?
B-b-b-b-bonfires!
ALL:
Sea-turtle-hatching-
beach-bonfire party!
[SEA GULLS CRY]
Where do we turn off
next, Eileen?
Hold on.
Let me check the directions.
Trail mix?
Oh, no!
This is my recreation bag!
I left the directions
in my school bag by mistake!
Wah-wahhh!
[MUNCHING]
Remember, Eileen,
if we get lost,
moss grows on
the south side of the tree.
North side. No worries,
I know exactly
where I left the directions.
[DIALING]
Hey, Margaret,
are you at home now?
Oh, great! You see
that bag on the counter?
It has directions
to Sunset Cove in it.
Can you read them to me?
Uh-huh.
No, we already passed that.
Slight right on Lefthand Road,
or...?
Gah!
This is taking forever!
Just put her on speaker.
[PHONE BEEPS]
MARGARET:
Did you get that?
Eileen?
Eileen, are you there?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
Oh, good.
If you get lost,
just remember
moss always grows on
the south side of the tree.
North side.
That's hilarious!
C.J. just said
the same thing!
Wait.
Am I on speaker?
I see the turn.
No more directions. Bye!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Welcome to Youth Topia!
Uh, thanks?
Can we go through?
Your membership cards, please.
Oh, no.
We're not members.
We wanna go
to the beach--
[GASPS]
Non-members!
Who's a non-member, Stan?
Is it these guys?
This is
a private spa.
Get out of here,
non-members!
We just wanna have
a beach-bonfire-
sea-turtle-hatching party!
Chah.
These simple non-members
are kinda cute
when they're mad.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Come on.
Let's park further down
and hike to the beach.
[LAUGHING CONTINUES]
MAN:
Did you hear him say
all that stuff?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Here!
Ugh!
Can you feel it?
Turtles for generations
have been laying their eggs
in this sand.
RIGBY:
No!
These tents
are pretty cool,
when they're not smashed
to bits.
I know, right?
I think it's about time
we got our snack on.
Eileen's got snacks
in the cooler.
Nice!
Remember,
only dry wood, Rigby.
Dry, schmy.
Big diff.
[SIGHS]
What's got you down?
We're doing
your turtle thing! Whoo!
It's just...
I wish Margaret could be here.
Why didn't you invite her?
Oh, yeah-- The whole Christmas
kiss thing with Mordecai.
I get why C.J.
doesn't like Margaret,
but Margaret's my friend.
I don't know.
I just wish
we could all be friends.
[♪♪♪]
We got wood!
Huhh!
It's almost time
for the turtles to hatch.
We've gotta find their nest!
You guys
go look for it.
Me and Mordecai will get
more firewood.
Come on, Mordecai.
Let's go.
But we just
got some!
It's like I don't want to
put Eileen in this position,
but I just can't stand to be
around Margaret right now.
Yeah.
But it doesn't change the fact
that Margaret and Eileen
are still friends.
She needs to know you're
okay with their friendship.
Yeah. I mean,
I know this trip is important
to her and everything,
but I can't help
what you did.
Uh, well...
Hey, look! Hey!
What's that light up ahead?
[♪♪♪]
[SNAPS]
And...breathe.
What are they doing with
those turtles?
MAN [ON TV]:
Here at Youth Topia,
we've dedicated ourselves
to discovering
the fountain of youth.
How have we accomplished this?
Simple-- Sea turtles!
There's science-y stuff
in turtles
that makes you look younger.
Just ask this doctor.
Huh?
MAN:
But enough of that egghead.
Let's see what this 90-year-old
man has to say about this.
[MUTTERING]
Wow.
That's really messed up.
Going to the beach for
the turtle hatching tonight?
You know it, man!
Gonna get me
a fresh new turtle.
The younger, the better!
Yeah, mine's getting old.
[COUGHS]
Ew!
[GASPS]
Eileen's turtles!
Come on.
We gotta warn her!
Turtles! Fresh out
of the eggs! Ugh!
BOTH:
Ugh!
Non-members!
Aah!
You guys are sick!
Yeah!
We're gonna call the cops!
They're already here.
They've got
lifetime memberships.
Ain't that right,
officers?
Looks like we got some
troublemakers here, Glenn.
Yeah.
Real turtle huggers, Hank.
Time to take 'em
to their shell--
Their prison shell!
Heh, see what I did there?
Aah!
Ugh!
Sit tight,
non-members!
Now let's go get
fresh baby turtles
so we won't
look old!
[CHANTING]
Turtles! Turtles! Turtles!
RIGBY:
I'm not seeing any turtles!
You sure this is the spot?
Give them a minute!
They're shy, misunderstood
creatures...
[WHISPERS]
Like me.
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
It's almost sundown.
Where are Mordecai and C.J.?
They're gonna miss it!
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
We've gotta get outta here
before those creeps
get the turtles!
Quick! Call Eileen!
[DIALING]
Come on, Eileen.
Come on, Eileen.
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
Huh?
Ugh! I forgot!
I took her phone from her
earlier!
Ugh! Well, the cops
are no good.
We gotta call somebody
for help!
[SIGHS]
I can't believe I'm doing this.
[DIALING]
It's moving!
It's moving!
They're hatching!
MAN: Right on time.
Thanks for making
our job easier.
Gauge 'em and cage 'em,
Glenn.
but you're
officers of the law!
Why are you doing this?
'Cause without these turtles,
my face would look like
a ball of raisins
and an old leather jacket.
Look-- In the sand!
No turtle can resist
the cage.
No, little ones!
It's a trap! Don't go in!
"Lettuce" persuade them,
Glenn.
See what I did there?
No.
[GROWLS]
Let those turtles go!
[GRUNTS]
Sand-boning!
Aaah!
Get to the turtles!
Ugh!
Oof! I got my rights!
Don't worry.
You'll understand
when you're older.
[LAUGHS]
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
Hey! Could it be?
Chopper 6, right on time!
Margaret's dad?
Are we late
for the beach-bonfire-
turtle-hatching party?
Unique New York.
Unique New York.
Okay, I'm good, Murray.
Let's roll it.
We're here
at lovely Sunset Cove,
where a scene that's anything
but lovely is happening.
Youth Topia Spa is allegedly
using baby sea turtles
for anti-aging purposes.
Youth Topia employees, do you
care to comment on this?
BOTH:
Uh...
MARGARET:
And you--
You're officers of the law!
What do you have to say
for yourselves?
Well-- Ugh!
There you have it, folks.
The use of baby sea turtles
may make you less gross
on the outside,
but it's sure to reveal how
gross you are on the inside.
[GRUNTS]
Baby sea turtles,
listen to me!
You don't have to
make old people look young!
You can live!
You have a choice!
[♪♪♪]
Go, little ones!
Be free!
MORDECAI:
What is that?
I think those
are Eileen's turtles.
Fresh turtles!
Straight from the egg!
Huh?
[SCREAMS]
And...breathe.
Just keep breathing!
Keep breathing!
Aaaaah!
[GRUNTING]
Cancel my membership!
Oh! Ooh! Aah!
[♪♪♪]
[SCREAMING]
[YELPS]
Come on!
Let's get outta here!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Hey, Hank,
is that our cruiser?
Come on!
Let's bail!
[IN GRUFF VOICE]
Let's see if these cops
can fly.
Huh?
Do you see what I did there?
[HUMANS SCREAMING]
Whoa!
Turtles are awesome!
Eileen!
Are you okay?
I'm fine. But how did you know
we were in trouble?
C.J. called
and told me the whole story!
Wait! C.J. called you?
On the phone?
On your phone, actually.
C.J.!
Somebody had to save
those turtles.
We couldn't call
the cops,
so the news was
the next best thing,
and we know
a newswoman. Besides,
I figured you wanted all
of your friends here for this.
[SNIFFLES]
Oh, you guys!
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
C.J.:
Uh... Eileen?
EILEEN:
Just a little longer.
[♪♪♪]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC STOPS]
That concludes
my interpretive dance piece
asking if you wanna watch
sea turtles hatch
tonight at sunset.
Whoa! Who could pass that up?
I'm in!
If we're gonna be at the beach,
that means we can go camping.
You know what goes with
camping and beaches?
B-b-b-b-bonfires!
ALL:
Sea-turtle-hatching-
beach-bonfire party!
[SEA GULLS CRY]
Where do we turn off
next, Eileen?
Hold on.
Let me check the directions.
Trail mix?
Oh, no!
This is my recreation bag!
I left the directions
in my school bag by mistake!
Wah-wahhh!
[MUNCHING]
Remember, Eileen,
if we get lost,
moss grows on
the south side of the tree.
North side. No worries,
I know exactly
where I left the directions.
[DIALING]
Hey, Margaret,
are you at home now?
Oh, great! You see
that bag on the counter?
It has directions
to Sunset Cove in it.
Can you read them to me?
Uh-huh.
No, we already passed that.
Slight right on Lefthand Road,
or...?
Gah!
This is taking forever!
Just put her on speaker.
[PHONE BEEPS]
MARGARET:
Did you get that?
Eileen?
Eileen, are you there?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
Oh, good.
If you get lost,
just remember
moss always grows on
the south side of the tree.
North side.
That's hilarious!
C.J. just said
the same thing!
Wait.
Am I on speaker?
I see the turn.
No more directions. Bye!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Welcome to Youth Topia!
Uh, thanks?
Can we go through?
Your membership cards, please.
Oh, no.
We're not members.
We wanna go
to the beach--
[GASPS]
Non-members!
Who's a non-member, Stan?
Is it these guys?
This is
a private spa.
Get out of here,
non-members!
We just wanna have
a beach-bonfire-
sea-turtle-hatching party!
Chah.
These simple non-members
are kinda cute
when they're mad.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Come on.
Let's park further down
and hike to the beach.
[LAUGHING CONTINUES]
MAN:
Did you hear him say
all that stuff?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Here!
Ugh!
Can you feel it?
Turtles for generations
have been laying their eggs
in this sand.
RIGBY:
No!
These tents
are pretty cool,
when they're not smashed
to bits.
I know, right?
I think it's about time
we got our snack on.
Eileen's got snacks
in the cooler.
Nice!
Remember,
only dry wood, Rigby.
Dry, schmy.
Big diff.
[SIGHS]
What's got you down?
We're doing
your turtle thing! Whoo!
It's just...
I wish Margaret could be here.
Why didn't you invite her?
Oh, yeah-- The whole Christmas
kiss thing with Mordecai.
I get why C.J.
doesn't like Margaret,
but Margaret's my friend.
I don't know.
I just wish
we could all be friends.
[♪♪♪]
We got wood!
Huhh!
It's almost time
for the turtles to hatch.
We've gotta find their nest!
You guys
go look for it.
Me and Mordecai will get
more firewood.
Come on, Mordecai.
Let's go.
But we just
got some!
It's like I don't want to
put Eileen in this position,
but I just can't stand to be
around Margaret right now.
Yeah.
But it doesn't change the fact
that Margaret and Eileen
are still friends.
She needs to know you're
okay with their friendship.
Yeah. I mean,
I know this trip is important
to her and everything,
but I can't help
what you did.
Uh, well...
Hey, look! Hey!
What's that light up ahead?
[♪♪♪]
[SNAPS]
And...breathe.
What are they doing with
those turtles?
MAN [ON TV]:
Here at Youth Topia,
we've dedicated ourselves
to discovering
the fountain of youth.
How have we accomplished this?
Simple-- Sea turtles!
There's science-y stuff
in turtles
that makes you look younger.
Just ask this doctor.
Huh?
MAN:
But enough of that egghead.
Let's see what this 90-year-old
man has to say about this.
[MUTTERING]
Wow.
That's really messed up.
Going to the beach for
the turtle hatching tonight?
You know it, man!
Gonna get me
a fresh new turtle.
The younger, the better!
Yeah, mine's getting old.
[COUGHS]
Ew!
[GASPS]
Eileen's turtles!
Come on.
We gotta warn her!
Turtles! Fresh out
of the eggs! Ugh!
BOTH:
Ugh!
Non-members!
Aah!
You guys are sick!
Yeah!
We're gonna call the cops!
They're already here.
They've got
lifetime memberships.
Ain't that right,
officers?
Looks like we got some
troublemakers here, Glenn.
Yeah.
Real turtle huggers, Hank.
Time to take 'em
to their shell--
Their prison shell!
Heh, see what I did there?
Aah!
Ugh!
Sit tight,
non-members!
Now let's go get
fresh baby turtles
so we won't
look old!
[CHANTING]
Turtles! Turtles! Turtles!
RIGBY:
I'm not seeing any turtles!
You sure this is the spot?
Give them a minute!
They're shy, misunderstood
creatures...
[WHISPERS]
Like me.
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
It's almost sundown.
Where are Mordecai and C.J.?
They're gonna miss it!
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
We've gotta get outta here
before those creeps
get the turtles!
Quick! Call Eileen!
[DIALING]
Come on, Eileen.
Come on, Eileen.
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
Huh?
Ugh! I forgot!
I took her phone from her
earlier!
Ugh! Well, the cops
are no good.
We gotta call somebody
for help!
[SIGHS]
I can't believe I'm doing this.
[DIALING]
It's moving!
It's moving!
They're hatching!
MAN: Right on time.
Thanks for making
our job easier.
Gauge 'em and cage 'em,
Glenn.
but you're
officers of the law!
Why are you doing this?
'Cause without these turtles,
my face would look like
a ball of raisins
and an old leather jacket.
Look-- In the sand!
No turtle can resist
the cage.
No, little ones!
It's a trap! Don't go in!
"Lettuce" persuade them,
Glenn.
See what I did there?
No.
[GROWLS]
Let those turtles go!
[GRUNTS]
Sand-boning!
Aaah!
Get to the turtles!
Ugh!
Oof! I got my rights!
Don't worry.
You'll understand
when you're older.
[LAUGHS]
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
Hey! Could it be?
Chopper 6, right on time!
Margaret's dad?
Are we late
for the beach-bonfire-
turtle-hatching party?
Unique New York.
Unique New York.
Okay, I'm good, Murray.
Let's roll it.
We're here
at lovely Sunset Cove,
where a scene that's anything
but lovely is happening.
Youth Topia Spa is allegedly
using baby sea turtles
for anti-aging purposes.
Youth Topia employees, do you
care to comment on this?
BOTH:
Uh...
MARGARET:
And you--
You're officers of the law!
What do you have to say
for yourselves?
Well-- Ugh!
There you have it, folks.
The use of baby sea turtles
may make you less gross
on the outside,
but it's sure to reveal how
gross you are on the inside.
[GRUNTS]
Baby sea turtles,
listen to me!
You don't have to
make old people look young!
You can live!
You have a choice!
[♪♪♪]
Go, little ones!
Be free!
MORDECAI:
What is that?
I think those
are Eileen's turtles.
Fresh turtles!
Straight from the egg!
Huh?
[SCREAMS]
And...breathe.
Just keep breathing!
Keep breathing!
Aaaaah!
[GRUNTING]
Cancel my membership!
Oh! Ooh! Aah!
[♪♪♪]
[SCREAMING]
[YELPS]
Come on!
Let's get outta here!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Hey, Hank,
is that our cruiser?
Come on!
Let's bail!
[IN GRUFF VOICE]
Let's see if these cops
can fly.
Huh?
Do you see what I did there?
[HUMANS SCREAMING]
Whoa!
Turtles are awesome!
Eileen!
Are you okay?
I'm fine. But how did you know
we were in trouble?
C.J. called
and told me the whole story!
Wait! C.J. called you?
On the phone?
On your phone, actually.
C.J.!
Somebody had to save
those turtles.
We couldn't call
the cops,
so the news was
the next best thing,
and we know
a newswoman. Besides,
I figured you wanted all
of your friends here for this.
[SNIFFLES]
Oh, you guys!
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
C.J.:
Uh... Eileen?
EILEEN:
Just a little longer.
[♪♪♪]