Red Oaks (2014–2017): Season 1, Episode 5 - Fourth of July - full transcript

All right, now let's get
on all fours like a cat.

And now your shoulders are going
to be directly over your wrists

with your knees centered under your hips.

Now round the back... mm-hmm...

to really open up that spine.

Deep inhale in.

And round the back.

And deep inhale in.

Beautiful.

Namaste.

- That was great.
- Thank you.



- Namaste.
- Thank you.

See you next week.

Good work today.

Thanks.

Are you enjoying class?

Oh, I can't tell you how nice it is

to have an hour a week just for myself

and not have to worry
about money or the laundry

or if my husband's going
to die in his sleep.

Good.

By the way, I'm throwing a little party

for the 4th of July this Saturday,

and I would love it if you could come.

Really?



Yeah. [Chuckle] Nothing fancy.

Just, you know, some friends,

the ones I didn't lose in the divorce.

What time?

[sigh] Let's see. We start at noon,

and it goes until we run out of tequila.

[laughing]

I'd love to.

Great.

Of course the Founding
Father smoked the ganj'.

Washington, Adams, Jefferson,

they all grew acres of this
shit on their plantations.

Hemp was a major cash crop.

Roll paper and sticky nugs.

You don't believe me? Check this out.

The Declaration of Independence?

It was written on hemp paper.

It's basically a giant Zig-Zag.

- Dude!
- Nice tie.

Don't tell the Russkies,
but it's just a clip-on.

Good morning, Mr. Getty.

Just the man I was hoping to see.

- Uh, me?
- Not you. You.

Park your little bicycle
with Wheezer and walk with me.

It's, uh, Wheeler.

That's what I said. I want to
talk to you about something.

- Pedro, is that the sign?
- Yes, sir.

God damn, it's supposed to be bigger.

High. Make sure it's high so it looks big.

Jesus Christ. I want to show you something.

Welcome back, Mr. Getty.

Thank you, Skip.

- How was Tokyo?
- Crowded.

Interesting people, the Japanese.

Just the whole way they do business.

Real motherfuckers.

They are three steps ahead

in every negotiation.

They... It's like an art to them.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

W... w... what is this?

Kebabs for the barbecue, sir.

Kebabs? What are we, in Beirut?

No, no. This is the 4th of fucking July.

Let's get some burgers,
some hotdogs, potato salad.

Come on, things Reagan would eat.

- Sorry, sir.
- All right.

- Yes, sir.
- All right.

Jesus Christ.

What do you want to talk to me about?

Yeah, yeah.

Take a look at this.

You notice anything?

Uh... y... your name isn't on it?

What else?

Who's Stan Feinberg?

An asshole.

Plastic surgeon.

Rarely attends club functions.

He's too good for them.

Like fixing tits makes him Jonas Salk.

- And you want to beat him?
- Yes.

You and I are going to train every day,

an hour a day, for the next six weeks.

No exceptions.

And Nash, he can fill
you in on Feinberg's game

so you can develop, like,
a little defensive strategy.

I don't understand.

Why isn't Nash coaching you?

What do you mean, why...

Because I'm hiring you.

Yeah, but he's head pro.

There's no decision to make here.

I'm not asking you, I'm booking you.

Okay, You'll pay me my regular rate?

Yes. I'll pay your regular rate

and a little bonus if I win.

What kind of bonus?

Seriously?

That's how you open a negotiation?

I didn't realize we were negotiating.

Well, then, you've
already lost, haven't you?

But you know what? I'm in a festive mood.

It's our nation's birthday.

I'm going to give you a do-over.

Come on.

I want a thousand dollars.

Okay, first of all, you
don't mention numbers.

Don't say a number. You
leave that for the lawyers.

- I don't have lawyers.
- Just pretend you do.

Right. Okay. Well, then, uh, uh...

then I want... rent.

Rent?

For a year. In the city.

Fine. Queens.

- Uh...
- Push me. Come on.

You know how badly I want it, so use it.

The Village. One bedroom.

Studio.

Uh, elevator building.

A walk-up.

Deal.

There you go.

See you on the court, coach.

Who are these people again?

I told you. Gayle is my yoga teacher.

What's her husband do?

She's divorced.

We don't have to stay long, do we?

Hush. Not long.

[ding]

You came.

[laughing]

Who is this?

Oh, that's my husband Sam.

Listen, we can't stay long.

Here, I brought you some tuna salad.

Thank you. Aw, don't you look festive.

I love your dress.

Thanks.

Come on in. The party's outside.

[laughter, chatter]

Yvonne, this is Judy from my Monday class.

Hi. Namaste.

Yvonne was my first yoga teacher.

Oh. Oh, that's great.

How long ago was that?

- Four years.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh. I'm sorry. My husband Sam.

You say your name was Juan?

Yvonne.

Oh, the J is silent?

Nonexistent.

Well, help yourself to wine and food.

[gasp] Deviled eggs.

Oh, Just one.

Hey!

Careful with this. It's quality shit.

Hasn't been cut with a ton of
talcum powder and baby laxative.

Why do babies need laxative?

Fuck if I know. Do I look like Dr. Spock?

My point is be cool, okay?

Don't snort it all at once.

Don't mix it with anything.

Thanks, Party King.

[moaning]

Holy shit.

What the fuck are you looking at, asshole?

Misty: Get set, go!

Come on, come on, come on!

Whoo!

Oh, it's right there.

It's right there. Come on.

Come on, girls!

Don't let those boys win.

All right, get in there.

Nash: Don't tempt me, my little meerkat.

On your way with you. I'm only human.

Boychik.

Hey, got a minute?

I've got exactly two,

and I've got somewhere I need to be.

Getty asked me to coach
him for the club tournament.

Excuse me?

Apparently he's got a hard-on

for this guy Feinberg who's
won the last five years.

But, uh, I'm the head tennis pro.

I know.

Did Skip put you up to this?

No.

I see.

Look, I'm sorry, man.

It wasn't my idea.

I tried to tell him no,

but he said it's not my decision.

Well, good luck.

You're going to need it.

It'll be a cold day in hell

before Getty can defeat Feinberg.

Clumsy sheka foot faults
more than my nana farts.

Thanks.

Well, you know, now I don't feel so bad

asking you to cover my
shifts for the next few hours.

Uh, sure. What's up?

Between you and I and this cigarette,

I'm organizing a little
underground poker game

for myself and a few of
the other sporting gentlemen

here at the club.

What do I say to anyone
who asks where you are?

Tell them I have diarrhea.

Ah, Semper Fi.

You serve?

Army. Korea.

You in 'nam?

Two tours.

Sam.

Ricky.

I only did one tour in Inchon because...

- Man: Whoo!
- Man: Whoa, check it out.

Would you look at that? It's disgusting.

Disgraceful.

In my day, you showed a little respect

for the Stars and Stripes.

Amen, brother.

Yay! There you guys go!

Oh, my gosh, we have a winner!

Ha ha ha! Congrats, Allison.

Oh, your turn.

[mouthing]

Great job, you guys.

Hello.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I'm here for a lesson.

I thought you hated tennis.

I hate Gone With the Wind, too,

but I'll watch it if nothing else is on.

Well?

Uh, yeah.

I'll grab my racquet.

All right, some quick ground rules.

First of all, buy-in is $100,
so crack out your wallets.

If you cheat, that will cost you a hand,

as in I will cut off your hand

with a blade made of fine Egyptian steel.

- Is that clear?
- [laughter]

- Cheers to that.
- Absolutely.

To our independence.

Mm. 100, 200.

Ah. Can I be sure this is real?

Uh, let's just hit a little to warm up.

All right.

I'm warm.

Where did that come from?

My father made me take lessons

when I was little.

Okay.

[grunt]

You hear anything about this poker game

that the Indian fella's running?

- What Indian fella?
- The tennis pro.

I think he's Turkish, not Indian

Is there even a difference?

[laughing]

So switch to your left, then, man.

How is that any better?

Different half of your brain.

Trust me, it's a totally new experience.

Isn't that right, Wheeler?

Hey, Party King.

- [knock]
- Huh?

Aah!

[sigh]

Shit!

Good match.

Ahh. Yeah.

Try adjusting your grip a little.

It'll help with your kick serve.

- Okay.
- Also, you're making contact

too soon after your toss.
If you wait a sec longer,

You won't fall into the net so much.

Like this. Uh, ball is up here.

This guy's up here. Like that.

You're a good teacher.

Thanks.

And a gentleman.

Most guys would cop a feel.

Getty: Ahem.

Hello.

I thought you hated tennis.

It's growing on me.

Is it?

Where's Nasser?

He has diarrhea.

Nobody with a Middle
Eastern gut gets diarrhea.

Then I don't know where he is.

You don't know where he is?

Okay.

Come on, Skip.

So are you going to tell her?

Can't, man. Breaking the guy code.

Screw the guy code. LeFevre's a dick.

Yeah, but then everyone
would know I'm a snitch,

which wouldn't be a very
good rep for the Party King.

She deserves to know.

What if she gets pissed and quits Red Oaks?

Huh?

Why would she quit?

Wouldn't you? I mean...

would you still want

to see Karen every day at work

if you'd found out she
just fingered some dude?

And... And...

And let's not overlook the fact

that I'm a coward that doesn't want

to get his ass kicked by Lefevre.

Fuck it.

Wheeler! You fat little Ewok.

Hey, hey! Shouldn't you be parking my car?

Shouldn't you be sticking
your hands up Misty's skirt?

- What?
- I mean...

Why don't you turn around

and march your fat fucking
ass right out of here, okay?

Get out of my way.

D... don't! Don't!

Do not...

Do not touch me, you little pussy.

Misty!

Clumsy fuck.

Wh... Wh... Swim, you turd!

He can't.

[gasp]

Steve, help me get him out.

Jesus, he's heavy.

Just pull.

Fuck!

[grunting]

Wheeler, you okay?

Shit, he's not breathing.

Fucking meat bag.

Go call an ambulance!

Come on, breathe.

Are you okay? What the hell?

He's cheating on you.

- What?
- Steve.

I know it's against the
guy code, but fuck it.

I saw him in the kitchen with some girl.

He was...

I'm sorry.

You deserve to know.

Hey, need some help?

Oh, thanks.

I don't know why they make
these cabinets so high.

- [shatter]
- Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.

- It's all right.
- I'm so sorry. Oh, I...

I will replace them.

Judy, stop.

I...

- Stop.
- I'm such a klutz.

You're adorable.

Woman: Any more ice?

There's some in the sink.

[sigh]

Sam! Let's go!

But I'm not finished talking to Ricky.

Now.

All right. I'll get the salad bowl.

Sorry.

Are you drinking on the clock?

I don't believe in clocks.

Must be why I've been called timeless.

Want a drip?

Okay, so I was wondering.

Um, when you said you'd help me

put together a modeling portfolio,

were you being serious?

As cancer.

'Cause...

I think I'm ready...

y... you know, just to have on hand

in case an opportunity comes up

for, like, a local ad or something.

Screw local.

You need to be thinking regional.

But if we're going to do this,

you need to put your complete faith in me.

Okay.

Okay.

Cool?

Snag that brew back?

- Oh. Yeah. Sorry.
- Thank you.

I call.

What have you got?

A full house.

- Ooh.
- Kings over 7s.

Herb, that's really good.

Um, well, I don't know

what you call my hand in your country,

but where I come from it's
known as a royal flush.

- Ohh!
- Son of a bitch.

He wasn't bluffing.

Ha ha ha ha ha! No, I was not!

Oh, my goodness, I am
fucking untouchable today!

Well, well, well. What
have we got here, gentlemen?

Uh, Mr. Getty, uh, well, uh...

Because it looks suspiciously

like you're gambling at my club

of the anniversary of our nation's birth,

which is strictly against Red Oaks' bylaws,

and you didn't have the
decency to invite me.

Yes, well, I can explain that.

- Ah, the game's over anyway.
- Yeah.

It was fun, gentlemen.

Do this again some time.

Will you give us a minute, please?

Man: Nice knowing you, Nash.

Right. Ah, that seems mathematic.

I'll get these out of your way.

Sorry. I would have
invited you. I figured...

Ah.

[muttering]

Sit down.

Yes. Okay.

All right.

Go ahead.

Sir?

Cut the deck.

High card wins.

Uh, what's the wager?

How much did you win?

It's, uh...

it's about 3 grand.

Okay.

Yeah.

Go ahead.

Hm.

That's a tough break. That's a tough break.

Okay.

Why don't you want me to coach you?

I like you, Nasser. I do.

Everybody likes you here:

the members, their wives.

You're an amusing guy. You're amusing.

I just...

I like my chances with the kid.

Galexa.

I'm sorry, sir?

Galexa.

That's the name

of my friend's pharmaceutical company.

The symbol is GLX.

You're going to want to write that down.

You didn't hear it from me.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

- Hey, you.
- Hey.

You hear what happened to Wheeler?

Is he going to be okay?

I think so.

You want to go watch the fireworks?

It's still pretty early.

Oh, we can go find a good
place to sit on the fairway.

No, no. Anybody can be a bass player.

Like, do you know how
much Michael Anthony drinks

during the course of one Van Halen concert?

It's like gallons.

Oh, hey, babe.

You know, it was kind of gross

watching you give mouth-to-mouth

to that little chub scout.

What the... Come on, babe. I...

Fuck off.

Misty!

Not so close to the house, Sam.

Ah. Please.

[fireworks exploding]

Oh, Judy, come on. They're starting.

Come on. Come out.

It's too many bugs.

I got spray.

Come here.

Enough. Enough.

Just hold still.

You're going to give me breast cancer.

Must be nice to have a
front row seat at the club.

Maybe next year David could sneak us in.

Whoa!

I've been thinking about it.

Hmm.

I think we should buy

a place in the Hamptons.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

I have a feeling this is
going to be a good year.

Child: Mom, look!

But you hate the Hamptons.

I'll get over it.

You realize this doesn't mean

she's going to want to
spend more time with us.

It doesn't mean she won't.

Beachfront?

Of course beachfront.

Mm.

Mm-mm! You're the best.

I really am.

♪
♪ [rock]

♪ Springtime ♪

♪ Crazy luck ♪

♪ Is what you've got ♪

♪ If you give it up ♪

♪ Well, then, you start to forget ♪

♪ They're bringing you down ♪

♪ You're riding it out ♪

♪ Just for that hungry feelin' ♪

♪ Makes you another friend ♪

♪ So you fight society ♪

♪ You fight society ♪

♪ You fight society ♪

♪ You fight society ♪

♪ Don't let them rearrange you ♪

♪ Into some kind of stranger ♪

♪ They're busting you short ♪

♪ You got to win ♪

♪ Society ♪