Reaper (2007–2009): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Home Stretch - full transcript

You know what?
I'm thinking of getting rid of my cell phone.

You're gonna
go BlackBerry?

No no, I'm gonna go old school...
pager and pay phone.

You selling dime bags out
of your mom's car again?

I'm just sick and tired of people being able
to reach me whenever they want.

You know, it's like,
"I want to talk about blah blah blah.

I have a medical emergency."
I don't care.

I just want to get off
the grid for a while, crazy guy style.

- I'll catch you guys back at the house.
- Okay.

What the hell?
Where am I?

Great. No no,
this is just great.



See, I was supposed to be
getting a hot stone massage,

but instead I'm with my buddy.
Wonderful.

The Devil brought us
here, you idiot.

Oh, idiot. Nice.
Real mature, bro.

You're short.

Yeah, next to a weird
Frankenstein monster like you.

What are you,
like 5'4", 5'5"?

- Screw you.
- All right, fellas. Take it easy.

Just take it easy.
Everybody just breathe.

Yeah, would you look at that, huh?
Makes me sick.

All the CO2 spewing
in the air polluting our planet,

choking our beautiful
Mother Earth.

Did you know that global warming is
the biggest threat facing us today?

Really?
You care about global warming?



Yes I care, 'cause it can destroy
our planet.

And if that happens,
that jackass upstairs

can count all
the casualties as innocents.

That means I won't get
any of the souls.

Zero.

So yeah, man,
I've gone green.

Dad, if you want me to start
driving an electric car,

you just say it.
I'll do it.

You know what
I would really love

is if one of you would
step up and prove yourselves

worthy of being
my second in command.

But I can see
that's not possible.

So since time
is of the essence,

we're going to have
a little contest.

Two vessels,

one escaped soul.

The first one of you
who brings this guy back to me in hell

will become
my right-hand man...

my human representative
in this realm

serving at my side
as we create hell on earth.

The loser however
will be cast out.

No financial support,
no clothes, no car.

Just an eternity of endless
toil as one of my minions.

Put quite simply,
your life will be garbage.

My life already is garbage.

Well, then we'll just have to
find a way to make it worse.

Good luck, my sons.

- Hey, I'm here to kick your ass.
- What?

I don't care what I have to do to win,
but I am going to catch this soul.

I deserve to be
by Dad's side.

I couldn't agree more.

No no, seriously,
I want you to win.

I'll even help
you if you want.

I don't know what
mind-games you're playing,

but I'm not buying it.

Oh, one more thing.

Oh, what the hell, man?!

Ass-whuppin'
Morgan style.

Believe.

Jelly is jelly,
whether it's grape or cherry.

- But I don't like cherry.
- I just... whoa whoa.

Why is there a small Mexican
lady in our kitchen?

- It's my grandmother.
- It's what?

- Also, she's not Mexican.
- What? You're...

- Not Mexican either.
- You're not?

So what are you?
What, are you black?

Ethiopian? You're not Asian,
I know that's out.

Don't tell me,
American Samoan.

We've been friends for how long
and you don't know I'm Puerto Rican?

Benjamin, I don't see
colors, all right?

No, seriously, I don't.
I'm red-green color blind.

It's called dichromasy.
It's very painful for me.

So what it boils down to is that no,
I can't ever be a jet fighter pilot,

but yes, I can have
a commercial fishing license.

And that's good,
but it's no jet fighter pilot.

Look at all this junk food
I found in the fridge.

You eat all wrong.

How you doing, Grandma?

You remember Sock.

No.

Hey, good to see you too.

I'm going to plant
some veggies

so you can eat like men.

How do you expect to
find a decent girl

when you don't take care
of yourself, Benjamin?

Actually, Benjamin
has a pretty hot thing

going with a nice
young lady named Nina.

Uh, my personal shopper.
Thank you, Sock.

- Sure.
- Nina's my personal shopper.

She helps get me my hats,
shoes, assorted men's wear.

What did you say you were gonna plant
back there, Grandma?

Because I'm actually
into eggplant myself.

You know, maybe you could
take a look at the garden

and see if maybe we could
make a nice eggplant plant.

Maybe.

Vamonos, Chico.

Don't forget

you have your cousin's
confirmation party tomorrow night.

I hate Hector, Grandma,
but I will be there.

What's up?

You don't want Grandma
to know you're dating Nina?

The woman can see evil, Sock.
See it.

Remember how she knew Sam had
something to do with the Devil?

You don't think she'd
figure out Nina's a demon?

Yeah, probably.

But maybe she'd be proud
that her grandson is railing a hot demon.

A demon who is way out
of his league, I might add.

She would disown me.

That seems a bit much.

But I do know how you
Mexicans have a spicy temper.

Okay, so we're all set.

Congratulations.
Welcome to the Work Bench team.

Oh, and...

this is for you.

Thank you so much.

This is such a blessing.

And let me promise you

I'm going to work
my sack off.

Okay. Okay.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So I was thinking that
maybe we could drive

to the cemetery tomorrow
and look for Alan.

I'm working a double shift
tomorrow.

Oh, well, I'm giving
you the day off.

Oh, okay.

- What?
- No, it's just...

I seriously doubt
Alan's gonna help me get out of my deal.

- He's too afraid of the Devil.
- Oh.

Well, it's worth a shot,
right?

Yeah yeah,
I guess it is.

Okay, well, I think we should
pretend to be mourners.

It's less conspicuous
that way.

And there's a funeral
that we can hit up at 4:00.

We're crashing a funeral?

Yeah. Don't you want us
to get back together?

- I do.
- Okay. Good.

- Okay, so how are we gonna do this?
- I think we should split up.

Ben, why don't you take the funeral
and you can keep a lookout from there?

Me and Sock can pretend to
be mourning at the gravesites

and, I don't know, why don't
you go back to the work shed?

- Okay.
- Uh, actually, Andi,

- I think maybe I'd better handle the funeral.
- Why?

Well, it's gonna require
some real acting

and I just don't think
you have the chops, Benji.

I find you
to be over the top.

Hey, go big
or go home, dawg.

- What is wrong with him?
- I don't know.

So do you
like funerals or...

How did you know her?

She was my high school
English teacher.

Same.

God, what I wouldn't give to be sitting in
her classroom one more time.

You know, just reading
and learning and reading.

I don't know if it'll help, but me
and some other students

are having a candlelight vigil.
You should come.

Definitely.
That'd be awesome.

I mean, yeah yeah.
Yes.

That will be
very sorrowful.

Alan.

Alan, hey,
wait wait wait!

Hold on,
I just want to talk.

There he is!

It's okay.
It was her time.

She was only 46.

Shh shh.
Shut up.

You know what
I mean, right?

A prayer from Psalms.

For we know that
neither death nor life

nor angels nor any
other creature...

...shall be able to separate
us from the love of God

which is in Christ Jesus.

- Uh...
- What's going on?

Nothing. Just boys
being boys, right?

Read the...

read the Bible.

Hey, sorry.

That was a really
powerful service.

- How's it going?
- He won't talk.

Well, maybe he just needs
a little bit of encouragement.

Know where we are, Alan?

At the track.
Look familiar?

We know you were
a gambling addict, Alan.

Yeah, and you're out
of hell on a technicality,

so if you sin once
you'll be sent back immediately.

Now if I remember correctly,
gambling is a sin.

- Uh-oh.
- So here's the deal.

You tell us how you got out
of your deal with the Devil

or we open this door
and we leave you here.

Now maybe you march on home
to your little cemetery there

and everything is hunky-dory.
But maybe, just maybe,

you take this fresh $100 bill I got right here
and these racing forms,

hop on in there and see how the ponies
are running today, huh?

Place a couple bets just
like the good old days.

Whiffaroo.

Hey, guys, it's not cool.
All right?

- Just take me home.
- You sure?

'Cause the races are gonna
start any minute now.

- Please, I'm serious.
- They got slot machines and keno.

Wait, guys.
Guys, wait.

Video poker, scratch offs,
twin quin.

- Okay, Sock, stop.
- Hmm? Hmm?

- Come on, Alan.
- Oh, go go!

Just let me bet this race.
I need someone to bet $100

on the sixth horse to show.
It's a lock.

Someone help me out here.
Why are you people ignoring me?

Hey, guys, thanks
for the impromptu torture session.

- It's a great way to break up the day.
- Sorry to bother you.

If you just told us what we needed to know,
we'd leave you alone.

- Not possible.
- Why not?

Because if I talk to you, I'll be back on
the Devil's radar.

He's be trying to tempt
me back to hell non-stop.

Although
going back to hell

would be better than living
cooped up in this little postage stamp.

Must be tough.

What choice do I have?

Hi.

I brought Vietnamese food.

I thought maybe we
could go watch a movie. Flying later.

Yeah, great.
Thanks.

You going somewhere?
You got on your going-out chain.

Uh, yeah.

I have to go to my little
cousin's confirmation.

And I was gonna
invite you, sweetie,

but everyone's gonna be
speaking Spanish there.

There'll be all these
strange people to meet.

I knew you'd hate it.
Be wicked boring.

No, that sounds like fun.
I'd love to go.

That's really sweet.
Thank you.

Really.
But it's okay.

Do you not want me there?

I do.

It's not that.

It's my grandmother.
She...

sort of has the eye.

The eye?

She can see evil.

And since you're a demon,
I'm not sure she'd approve.

Well, you're a grownup, Ben.
Why can't you just stand up to her?

Because she's scary.

That lady does
Pilates every day.

Her core right here,
the lady is rocking a sixer.

Benjamin, vamonos.

- Is that her?
- I won't be long, okay?

So just stay here,
relax, watch some TV, do the dishes.

And we'll talk about
it later, all right?

Okay.

Okay, ya voy.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

You can't let her
be bullying you.

Besides,
I'm like 90% not evil.

That's less evil than most humans.
She's gonna love me.

Please don't do this.
Don't do this. Don't.

Hi, I'm Nina.

So nice to meet you.

Abuelita, Nina is
a friend of mine.

And she was thinking
of coming to the party.

That thing is not
going to my party.

You keep her
away from me.

Far away.

Listen.
Look at me. I'm sor...

I'm sorry.

I promise this whole thing
will work itself out, okay?

I'll call you
when I get back.

Ahem!

Hey, man.

Sorry I slapped you.
It was wrong.

Even if it was
incredibly satisfying.

So you still up for lending
me a hand with this thing?

Helping me win this?

'Cause I'm having
a teeny bit of trouble.

I can't believe this.

All right, his name
is Bud Brown.

Pretty bad dude...
adultery, theft, murder.

Says he owned a chop shop by the piers.
Have you checked that out?

Not yet.

- What about his apartment?
- Huh?

- Oh, I didn't read that far down.
- What have you done?

What, I'm here, aren't I?

Huh.

What is he building
in there?

I don't know.

Hey, let me see your vessel.
That one looks different than mine.

I'm pretty sure
they're the same.

All right, so the Devil
didn't say that the winner

was the one who vesseled him,
just the one who sends him back to hell.

So I'm gonna go in there
and capture him.

Then I'll give you the vessel,
you drop it off at the DMV

and then, boom,
you get the credit.

Good plan, man.

Hi.

Uh, I was just wondering
if you guys bought spare auto parts,

'cause I have an old car
I no longer use

and it's got some
pretty good stuff.

Get out.

I don't think so, Bud.

It's not working.

Hey!

Yeah, so you can get us
in at 7:30, right?

Okay, great, but will you
just make sure I get a window seat?

Last time I was in
the middle of the restaurant

I could just barely
hear myself think.

No no no, thank you
very much.

All right.

See you tonight.

Hey, you're alive.

What the hell did you
do to my vessel?

I broke it.

And I gave you a real
fire extinguisher.

What? Why?

- I almost got killed in there!
- I know.

Just figured once you were gone this
whole competition would get a lot easier.

Are you an idiot?

I don't know how
I can be any more clear.

I don't want to win!

Sticking to your story.
Nice.

No, Morgan, you've got
to believe me.

Boring.

Seriously, we didn't have
any bigger gloves than that?

Hey, where've you been?

Dealing with Morgan
and this stupid contest.

I'm trying to let the idiot
win and he won't let me.

I wish I looked
like Morgan.

He's such
a handsome gentleman.

Yeah, he's got the perfect
body for clothes.

Like the way the suit hangs
off his broad shoulders

He's got a barrel chest
and little narrow waist. And it's subtle,

but if you look closely you can notice all
the awesome muscle tone underneath.

Okay, yes, he's great.

He's also incredibly lazy.

That's why I want
to make sure he wins.

If the Devil is stuck with him for all eternity,
the whole world is a lot better off.

What are you guys doing?

We have an idea about how to convince
Alan to tell you the secret.

I appreciate the thought,
but I think Alan's a lost cause.

We got it. Alan's sick of being stuck
at the cemetery, right?

But he's got to be there
because the ground is consecrated.

What if we send him to a city where every
inch of the ground is consecrated?

Yeah, where he can
actually have a real life.

Where the Devil
couldn't find him.

All right, Alan, we've made
a little film for you.

It's a little rough still.
It's a bit spotty in places.

But it'll give you a good idea of how fun life
is gonna be in Vatican City.

'Cause it is.
It's gonna be off the chain.

So what do you think?

We can help you with plane tickets,
a passport... everything.

- And in return?
- You help me.

You tell me what you did
to get out of your deal with the Devil.

- Let's do this.
- Yeah!

- Serious?
- Yeah.

I can't live like this anymore.
It's driving me crazy.

Okay, I'm gonna
leave this with you.

But if this winds up on YouTube
I will sue your ass.

Have fun, all right?
Let's go.

Uh, have we started yet?

Not yet.
Here.

No need,
I brought my own.

Sandalwood.
It was her favorite.

How are you holding up?
Are you okay?

- I'm doing okay.
- Yeah?

- You?
- Oh, you know.

Baby steps.

Actually, I was thinking it might be good
to do something kind of fun tonight.

You know, shake it up,
get out of my own head for a while.

I could definitely
go for that.

Oh yeah? What do you say to a little
round of bowling?

Uh, or not.

Just an idea,
a leisure activity.

No, it's not that.
It's just, you know,

she just loved
bowling so much.

Wouldn't really seem right.

Of course, bowling.
I know, what an idiot.

I'm sorry.
I can't believe I forgot that.

When she rolled that 300 last year,
she was so proud.

Yeah, I know.

The elusive 300.

Man, the lady could roll.

So...

I brought a poem.

I thought maybe I could
read to the gang tonight.

You should save that
for Thursday night.

- What's Thursday?
- We're having a memorial service for her.

Another one?

This one's gonna
be more intimate.

Just her closest
family and friends

sharing their memories
and stories one more time.

- A final goodbye.
- Oh, I don't know.

Maybe we could go
bowling after that.

What time does it start?

You see Grandma out there
planting some healthy food?

Don't tell her, but I'm gonna throw those
veggies in the trash.

Come on, Chico, let's go in
the living room and wrestle.

Yeah.

Hi.

Maybe this is a bad idea,
but I like your grandson

way too much just
to let this go.

I'm not evil.

You're not seeing me
for what I actually am...

a fallen angel.

While I may know
what hell is,

I've also seen the highest
reaches of heaven.

And I can tell you
honestly,

that's where
I'd rather be.

- Have you met St. Peter?
- I have.

What is he like?

Oh God!

When you're around him
you just...

you feel this incredible
sense of calm.

It's quite amazing.

You're so lucky.

Uh, Nina, you probably
don't want to do that.

Ben, it's okay.
We're fine.

We're just having a chat.

Chico, no.

Abuela!
Oh my God. Abuela.

Hey, how's
your grandma?

Minor heart attack.
But she's doing fine.

She's gonna be there
a couple more days.

Minor heart attack, huh?
If I go out, I'm going out huge.

Double heart attack.

Left ventricle
all over you.

- Have you talked to Nina?
- No.

She flew off
right after it happened.

You know,
I specifically asked her

not to talk
to my grandmother.

I had it under control.
Does she listen to me? Not at all.

In all fairness,
the chihuahua did attack her.

I don't know what to do.

What do you guys
think about my pants?

- Are those pinstripe?
- Yeah, it's a very subtle stripe.

But still noticeable.
Well played.

Thank you. Going to a memorial service
tonight. Got to look good.

You still chasing after
that funeral chick? Persistent.

I know. I'm gonna convince her
she's done grieving tonight.

Think it's safe to expect
a little tongue action after this memorial.

Maybe during, I don't know.
We'll see, who knows?

I'm gonna head back
to the hospital.

Thanks, friends.

No problem, Benji.
Always here for you, man.

Ahem.

Hi, I'm here to honor
the deceased.

Oh, of course.
Please sign in.

Mmm-hm.

Were you one of
Mrs. Simons' students?

I was, yeah.

But I like to think that I taught her
as much as she taught me.

Ah.

Well, I must say
her students certainly loved her.

Please go in
and have a seat.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey, Sock.
How are you holding up?

I'm pretty good,
you know?

Tell you what happened.
I woke up today

and I said to myself
out loud,

"Sock, you are
done mourning."

- Really?
- I did, really.

I've grieved...
just grieved so hard and for so long.

I just want to move on.
I want to embrace life.

I want to make out with strangers,
you know? We all should.

- Yeah, you're right.
- Yeah.

We should put this
death behind us and live.

You got it.

It's what Mrs. Simons
would have wanted.

Mrs. S.

I am so happy I met you.

You are
an amazing man, Sock.

I am, I know.

This is Nate,
my boyfriend.

He's really been
crushed by all this.

Yeah.
Your what?

Sock was just talking
me through my grief.

And it helped.
It really helped.

- Maybe you could help Nate too.
- Mmm.

We all really need
each other right now.

We can pull through this.

Okay, I'm out.

Excuse me.

Before we begin
the remembrances

I have a very important
announcement.

As you know, Mrs. Simons
was a philanthropist as well as a teacher.

So her dying wish was to bequeath
her entire fortune to her students.

So all of you students
who attended today's special memorial

will receive $10,000.

You'll then be asked to donate that money
to a charity of your choice,

any worthy charity,

as a way of honoring
Mrs. Simons' memory.

Thank you.

And I'm back.

Hi, do you have any direct
flights to Vatican City?

Rome's the closest?

Yeah, Rome is good.

No, it's for a friend.
His name is Alan Townsend.

Order up.

He'll call you back.

Sorry, you were
being rude.

And given the fact
that the two of you let the soul go,

I should think you'd
be a bit more ashamed.

You fellas ready to order?

Hi, yes. I would
love the chicken...

He will have nothing.

I'll have a cup of coffee...
black, two sugars.

Dad, allow me
to apologize.

You have any idea how
disappointed I am in you two?

I mean, to think
that one day one of you

might actually help me

guide mankind on a path
to destruction.

It just simply boggles
the mind.

- Right, but, Dad, let me explain.
- No, let me.

You know what I see
when I look at you, Morgan?

Hmm?

I see a big lazy puppy dog

with big puppy dog eyes

and a little puppy dog brain.

So eager to please
and yet so incapable.

Thank you, dear.

And you.

Such a whiny little baby.

Yeah.

You won't be
laughing tonight

when that soul finishes
what he's been working on.

- What's that?
- A portal.

Allowing his buddies,
a bunch of degenerate souls...

my hard-earned souls
by the way...

to escape from hell.

He needs to be caught.
Now.

Whenever you're ready.

Is that really
how he sees me?

A big lazy puppy dog?

Come on,
be honest, man.

You really care
what he thinks?

Yeah, he's my dad.

Yeah, but he's the Devil.

He's never gonna be a real dad.
He can't. It's impossible.

He's all I got.

I just want
to make him happy.

You know, I've lived my entire
life trying to measure up

and then failing miserably.

You know, you want
to do him right?

Let me help you
win this, okay?

Morgan, you have to believe me.
I don't like working for him.

I don't like knowing him.
I don't want any part of this.

- You being serious?
- I promise.

Okay.

Okay, good.
Let's do this.

Sorry, Bud.

We're gonna have to put
an end to your experiment.

Sorry, boys.

You're too late.

Hurry up, get him!
Get him!

Sam!

The vessel's not working.

Not on these two.
The vessel will only work on him.

Go!
I'll keep these guys busy.

Morgan, run!

Get out of here!

Sam, the vessel is gone.

Hey!

Thank you
for saving my life.

Bud, the soul...

you sent him
back to hell.

- You won the contest.
- What?

No.
No, l... l...

I didn't do anything.
You did everything.

I just...
I gave him a little push.

There's no vessel, right? There's no way
to prove which of us sent him back.

Right?

I guess you're right.

You're a good liar.
We'll just lie and tell the Devil you won.

- There's no proof otherwise.
- I could do that.

I do like lying.

Nice job.

You sure you're cool, man?

Just say you run a charity that helps
with the community or something.

Sock, I got this.
I know a lot about charities.

Oh, good.
Good man. Good.

Hello, Mr. Wysocki.

Hello again.

Oh, hello.
And you are?

This is my associate Ben.

He runs a nonprofit-
based organization

that I am very very
passionate about.

I will be donating
the money to him.

What type
of charity is that?

He reads to
the blind people

and delivers food to hungry
orphans on Christmas.

Sock, please,
allow me.

While it is true that
I'm involved

in various
community activities,

the most important thing that
I do is work in my laboratory.

You see...

how can I put this?
I'm creating a machine

that will help
the entire world.

An invention that
will help liberate...

mankind.

Please, do tell.

It's a straw.

A self-sucking straw.

And it will help people
who have problems

using their jaw enjoy
the wonders

of using a straw.

There you go.

Sir,

I'd like to call this
invention the Straw-to-matic.

A self-sucking straw.

Okay, sounds good to me.

I just needed something
to put on the form here.

Straw-to-matic.

Good.
There's your money.

All the best.
Thanks for everything.

And I'm sure somewhere up
there Mrs. Simons is smiling.

Yeah.
Yeah, probably.

- Good day to you, sir.
- And you too.

A self-sucking straw.

How long have you been sitting
on this gold mine, Benjamin?

I guess I thought about
it when I was eight.

You thought about this
when you were eight

and you didn't tell
anybody until now?

Well, I told my mom and dad,
but they didn't get it.

'Course not, they're idiots.
Now listen to me.

We're gonna take that 10 grand,
use it as seed money

to build something
that's called a prototype.

After that happens,
ka-ching.

What do you mean
living expenses?

He's talking to Alan.

You want a full row of seats to yourself?
You know how much that costs?

No, that wasn't part
of the deal.

All right, whatever.
I'll call you back.

- What?
- He has a list of new demands.

He's afraid of being tempted so he wants
to fly in an aisle all by himself.

He wants money for
a one-bedroom apartment.

No no no,
he can't do this.

He says the deal's off
unless I meet all of them.

We're talking thousands
of dollars.

Ahem, would you excuse
us for a moment?

Be right back.

- Walk normal. Walk normal.
- Okay.

Just walk normal.

All right,
what are we thinking?

- Honestly, I'm torn.
- I know, me too.

I mean, on one hand
we got Sam's soul,

and yeah that
is important, right?

But on the other hand
you got the Straw-to-matic.

I mean, that's a straw that
sucks on your lips, Benjamin.

Sucks on your lips.
It hurts my brain how amazing that idea is.

- It's a once-in-a-lifetime idea.
- It's lightning in a bottle

You know what?
It's not like Alan's going anywhere.

But somebody could think of the
Straw-to-matic and beat us to the punch.

- All right, here's what we do.
- Okay.

We make our millions
and then we help Sam deal with Alan.

Why is there an envelope
full of cash out here?

- Huh? That is...
- For you.

We wanted it to be a surprise
to help you with Alan.

How'd you know
about Alan?

Do you want
the money or not?

Yes.
Thank you.

Ah, there he is.
Congratulations, man.

I knew you'd win the contest.
I knew it.

Even bet my secretary
that you would.

Now she owes me a diner
at Houston's.

No no, Morgan won.
He pushed the soul

through the portal.
I had nothing to do with it.

Oh, come on, Sammy.

You think I don't know what
goes down in my own house?

Enjoy it, man.

You're my
second in command.

What the hell
is going on here?

Well, we're celebrating Sammy's win.
Very impressive.

No, I keep telling him that I didn't win.
You did.

Hey, drop the false
modesty, all right?

We all know you wanted this
from the very beginning.

You screwed me?

You've been playing me
since the beginning?

No.
No, I wasn't. I wasn't...

You don't have to explain
anything to him.

He's a nobody.

He doesn't even deserve
your attention.

But don't you worry.
Even though you lost

you get a nice
consolation prize:

10 bucks and a bus pass.

Enjoy.

Please, I'm not taking
your pity prize.

Oh really?
Even after you find out

that everything else is gone?
Your keys, your wallet,

your clothes, your car,
your condo... everything?

You looking for
these, buddy?

You're a dead man.
Dead man.

Oh, that guy, huh?

Lots of bark, no bite.

Wow.

I can't believe it.
This is actually happening.

I'll call you guys
when I get there.

Whoa whoa. Isn't there something
you want to tell us?

Oh, right.

- Right.
- Okay.

Well, what most people
don't know about the Devil

is that he can't resist
a competition.

Okay, so what does
that mean exactly?

You know that whole "Devil
Went Down to Georgia" thing?

He challenged the guy
to a fiddling contest.

He's so incredibly vain he doesn't think
that anybody can beat him at anything.

For me it was poker.

So I have to beat him
at poker?

No, you do
what you're good at.

Figure out what that is
and challenge him.

However, there's
one more step

to get the Devil to
agree to the challenge.

- Okay, what's that?
- I can't tell you that right now.

- We had a deal.
- Why? No.

Look, until I'm safe
standing on consecrated ground

I have to keep one ace
up my sleeve.

I promise you I'll call
you as soon as I step foot in the Vatican.

You have to believe me.
I want to help you.

I just wish I could be
there to see his face

when you do beat
the bastard.

Call me the second you land.

Do you believe him?

Yeah.
Yeah, I do.

You?

Yeah, I do.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- For your grandma.
- Oh, thanks.

- How's she doing?
- Better.

Doctor said it should just be a couple more
days and she could go home.

Ben, I'm really sorry
about what happened.

Sometimes when I get started
I just lose control.

I know.
It's fine.

Let's just forget it
and move on, all right?

Okay.

But we still have to
figure this out.

I mean, did you talk
to her yet about us?

I did.
And it's handled, baby.

Good.
What happened?

I told her
that I dumped you.

So now we can secretly date

and see where that takes us.
It's win-win.

Are you kidding me?

I don't have
another choice here.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to go to
the hospital right now

and tell your
grandmother you love me

and you want us
to be together.

- You serious?
- Why not?

Well, for one thing,
visiting hours are over.

- I couldn't get in.
- Ben, you could get in.

I don't want to put her
under that kind of stress.

I mean,
not in her condition.

You told me she was
feeling better.

- She's in the ICU.
- Our relationship is in the ICU.

Ben, you're letting
her bully you.

And now you're
bullying me.

You're not giving
me any choice.

I just want you
to be a man,

- have a backbone.
- Backbone?

You want backbone?
How about this? It's over.

Ben, don't say that
unless you mean it.

I mean it.

You broke my heart once
and I forgave you.

But not this time.

This time you're gonna
wish you never met me.

Tough bid,
my brother.

She's amazing woman.

I would kill that ass.

Alan just texted me.
His flight's about to take off.

I can't believe this.

I'm going to
beat the Devil.

I know.
How does it feel?

I feel like me again.

Does that make
any sense?

Yeah, totally.

I did it.
I beat the Devil.

I'm done.
Whoo!

- Whoo.
- Sorry.

I don't care.
It feels good.

So...

what are you gonna do
with your newfound freedom?

I might learn
a new language.

- Really?
- No, I'll probably just nap a lot.

Okay.

Thank you so much,
though...

- for sticking with me.
- Of course.

Okay, sorry.
Sorry.

I just had to do that.

Yeah yeah,
we just kissed a lot.

And I want
to do it again.

Me too.

But, uh,
we should, uh...

we should wait
until tomorrow.

I'll be out of my deal
with the Devil

and then we can kiss
as much as we want.

All right, that sounds
like a plan.

Thank you.

Hi, this is your captain
speaking.

We just got word
from the flight deck

that we need to go ahead
and make

an unscheduled
maintenance stop.

We apologize for
this inconvenience.

But the good news is
we'll be stopping in Las Vegas.

You will each receive
$100 in casino chips

to tide you over
while we're on the ground.

So please enjoy your time

in the gambling capital
of the world.

Can I get you
something to drink?