ReBoot (1994–2002): Season 1, Episode 8 - Enzo the Smart - full transcript

Enzo's attempt to make himself twice as smart as everyone else only results in everyone else becoming twice as dumb as he is; and when a Game cube lands on them, it's up to Enzo to use the intelligence he does have to save the day.

(ReBoot - 1x08
Enzo the Smart
EN-SDH)

BOB, V.O.: I come
from the net,

through systems,

peoples,

and cities,

to this place...

Mainframe.

My format:

Guardian.

To mend

and defend.



To defend my
new-found friends,

their hopes

and dreams.

To defend them from...

their enemies.

(♪ instrumental)

(thunder)

(surging)

They say the User lives
outside the net,

and inputs Games
for pleasure.

No one knows
for sure...

But I intend
to find out.

ReBoot!





(indistinct yelling)

-Fire!

(boom)

(whistling)

(yelling)

(explosion)



(rumbling)

(click)

-I'll take him offline.

(boom)

Uh oh.

(boom)

-Run away!
-Backspace, backspace!

-DOT: Look out!

(blam)

Nail him,
little brother!

-You can't undo
my sister,

you dip-switch!

(boom)

(small explosion)

Yeah, that's
the ticket!

I just need a
bigger shot!

(whirring)

There!

Quick!

Bring out the mondo
cannon ball!

(clang)

(binomes groaning)

-Think it's big
enough, Enzo?

-I've got it all
processed, Dot!

Bigger is better!

We'll chip away
at his fort

blast by blast!

(groaning)

(clang)

Aloha, General User!

(bang)

(clunk)

Bummer.

-(whistling overhead)
-I should've used more powder!

Who-o-oa!

(blam!)

-BOB: Cool!

Glitch, stats!

-Bob! Hurry!

Big cannonballs!

Big powder!

It's our only hope!

-BOB: Shh...!

-ENZO: What are
you doing?!

That won't even
make a dent!

-BOB: Trust me.

(click, bang)

(boom)

(whistling
getting closer)

(BOOM!)

-SYSTEM VOICE:
Game over.

-DOT: Quality shot!

-BOB: Deleted HIM, huh?

-Yeah...



-BINOME: Alright, Bob!

-(cheering)
-Checked him out!

-What a shot!

-Multitasking ze
large parties...

ZIZ is what I hate!

-Bob, tell us again how
you beat the User!

-Yeah! Download
us, Bob!

-Well, I just spotted
his weak sector,

calculated the angle,

and fired!

-And POW!

Blasted to bytes!

-Yeah! Offlined!

-Deleted!
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

-BOB: What's with Enzo?

Is he fully functional?

-DOT: He's been like that
since the Game ended.

-BOB: Why so
glum, Enzo?

-I couldn't figure out
how to beat that User...

I must be Basic.

-Basic?! Whoa,

Don't be so rough
on yourself!

-Aw, you're just a
little kid, Enzo.

You'll get better
as you develop.

-Yeah, don't
worry about it.

It'll all come in time.

-Time! Hah!

Little kid?! Hmph!

I don't wanna
be smart later,

I wanna be smart NOW!

Hey...!



(slamming game puck)

(beep)

(walls whirring)

-PHONG: Perhaps you
will try later, my son.

As you know,

I can only
download wisdom

to those who beat
me at my game.

-Of course I'd lose,

I'm as Basic as
Basic can get!

I'm low-res,

downsized, erasable,

Hardly worth a backup!

Someone should
undo me, and--

-Enzo!

-Yes?

(sighs)

-Come.

You did not
win my game,

but maybe I can
help anyway.

I'm not supposed
to let anyone,

I mean, ANYONE
in here...

But, if you promise not
to touch ANYTHING...

I will show you
something.

-ENZO: Really?!

Alphanumeric!

I promise.

(Phong sighs)

-"YADDA-YADDA-YADDA."

(whirs)



-ENZO: Whoa!

Double-sided!

Super-cooled!

-The city's
Read-Only room.

A storehouse of
all information

since the very beginning
of Mainframe.

-Whoa!

Pixelatious!

-And my favourite way
to become smarter,

by reading.

If you promise not
to touch anything,

other than this window,

you may stay
in this room,

and scan the
files in memory.

-Okay, cool!

I wanna scan every README
file in the system.

-COMPUTER:
Processing request.

(beeping)

-PHONG: When
you finish,

just come out
this door.

Be careful, young Enzo.

Remember, that
anything worthwhile

takes time.

(slam)

-Yeah, but the
faster I go,

the more I'll know.

Thanks, Phong!

I'll show 'em how
smart I am...

I'll store every byte
of data in here!



-DOT: Cecil, have
you seen Enzo?

-What do I look like,

a nanny?!

(baby crying)

I think not!

Hmph!

-BOB: I hope he's okay.

-DOT: I'm sure
he's fine.

(beeping)

-This is gonna take millions
and millions of nanoseconds!

This might even take
one whole SECOND!

There's gotta be a
faster way to get smart.

I know!

Access information
on speed setting.

-COMPUTER:
Processing request.

Mainframe's clock
speed and bit-rate

determines how fast
sprites can run.

Faster clock speed
and higher bit-rate

equals greater
processing power.

-Uh, I just want
to be smarter.

-COMPUTER: Smarter
than what?

-Smarter than Bob!

No, wait!

Smarter than EVERYONE!

-How much smarter?

-Ooh.

Uhh...

Twice as much?

-COMPUTER:
Processing request.

Changes in sprite speed

must be made from the
clock-speed room.

-Okay... but how would
I ever get there?

(beeping)

No way!

Guided tour!

Coolness!

Hello?

-COMPUTER: Welcome to the
Mainframe clock-speed room.

Do you wish to be twice as
smart as everyone now...?

Or later...?

-Now!

-(whirring)
-COMPUTER: Processing request.

(rumbling)

-Whoa!

What's happening?

(pulsing)

Hey...

I'm not any faster...

(sighs)

Aw, crash it all.

Dude!

Everything's
gone 8-bit!

What happened?!



Phong! Phong!

(clang)

(clang)

(clang)

(clang)

(bonk)

There you are!

Hey, where did all
the colours go?

-PHONG: Looks like they're
all here to me...

Eh... do I know you?

-Has he gone
low-density or what?

I bet a Game cube fell
while I was inside.

I'd better get Bob!

(clang)

(cheering)

-CECIL:
Congratulations!

-ENZO: For what?!

-CECIL: For finding
a way out of here!

-Enzo!

-Wh-o-o-o-oa!

-Oof!

You are my hero!

-I am...?

-Why, we've been trying
to get out forever!

-You are so SMART!
-(whack, whack, whack)

-DOT: And I
am so lucky!

My brother,

the smartest boy
in all of...

Of...

Where...ever this is...

-(Bob gasps) Dot, Enzo!

Stand back!

Don't worry,

I'LL save you!

-Save us?

From what?

-Gee...

I'm not sure!

-(door opens)
-DOT: Is it from that...

that stranger...?

-Express delivery
for, uh...

Dot's... uh...

dinner?

-Why, yes! It is!

A-ha!

-No, Bob!

That's just the--!

-(crash)
-BOB: Rargh! Take that!

(clatter) and THAT!

-ENZO: Sorry
about that.

I don't know what
got into him.

Dot,

What's wrong with Bob?

Hello?

Enzo to Dot?

Come in?

-DOT: Hmm...!

Hats for sale!

Best price in town!

-No way...!

This isn't a Game...

I did this!

And I didn't make
MYSELF any smarter...

I made everyone
else DUMBER!

(slam)

-(slam)
-Hmph!

-(slam)
-Showoff.

-What have I done?!

I've gotta set the
clock-speed back to normal,

before the whole
city crashes!

(door slams)

(door slams)

(zip-board whirrs)

-DOT: Wooow...

These aren't just
for hats anymore!

Hey! C... come back!

You didn't pay
for that!

-Never fear,

for I, Bob,
will stop him!



-DOT: Stop!

-BOB: Cease and pause,

you hat-napper!

-Yeow!

-Port back here,
you varmint!

-Almost there...

-(long steady tone)
-Oh no!

-SYSTEM VOICE: Warning,
incoming Game.

Warning, incoming Game.

(surging)

-No, no, no!

-BOB: Hey...

How do you stop
this thing...?

(crash!)

Ohh, THAT'S how!

-Great!

Trapped in a Game
with these...

characters!

This better be
somethin' simple...

or we're in
major trouble!

-MIKE: Welcome to
Video Athlete!

Between the
deadly User,

and those oh-so-wacky
Mainframers!

Stay tuned for
thrilling action,

heart-pounding
suspense!

But first,

this message!

-Man!

Clock-speed doesn't seem to
affect Mike the TV at all!

I guess he couldn't
get any dumber.



ReBoot!

Coach?!

Oh great...

Uh oh...

-In the first
series of events,

The athletes will rack up
as many points as they can!

The more, the better!

But wait, there's more!

These scores determine
the starting positions

in the winner-take-all
final event,

THE ELIMINATOR!

Whoever wins the
Eliminator,

wins the Game!

But now, another word
from our sponsor.

-ENZO: Did you
hear that?!

We've gotta score as
many points as possible!

Or we're all...

(gulp)

wiped out!

-BOB: Don't
worry, coach!

I will help you win!

-DOT: WE will
help you win!

-Yup! You got it, Enzo!

-Winning is our format!

-Consider it inputted!

-No problem!

-BOB: Ahem...

Uh, there's just
one thing...

-ENZO: Yes?

-What are "points"?

-AAAAAAGH!

We're all gonna
be nullified!



-Let the games begin!

(clunk)

(whistle blows)

(zoom)

(grunts)

(audience cheers)

(grunts)

-Come on, team!

We can do it!

(clang)

-Teamwork, teamwork,
teamwork!

This is the hallmark
of the Mainframe team!

(clang)



-Ooh! He's not getting
up from that one!

(clang)

(clunk)

Ohh! You know
THAT'S gotta hurt!

What we have here

is a failure
to network.

(audience cheering)

-DOT: How are we
doing, coach?

Coach?

-MIKE: It's time for
the Eliminator, Enzo,

and the User is going to be
almost impossible to beat.

Because of his
high point total,

he's starting
with a big lead.

The Mainframers could
lose the game,

the entire sector
could be wiped out,

and we'll all be
mindless nulls.

How do you feel
right now?

-What a ridiculous
question!

How do you
THINK I feel?!

I feel rotten!

-I see. And what are
your strategic plans

for the rest
of the game?

-Strategic plans?!

I'm just gonna try
to win, that's what!

And I'm not gonna let my
team ruin it, either!

(audience cheering,
applauding)

-There you have it,
ladies and gentlemen!

And you heard
it here first,

Coach Enzo is
entering the game!



-BOB: Don't
worry, coach!

WE'LL help you
win the race!

(Enzo sighs)

-I was afraid
of that...



(whistle blows)

(crash)

-DOT: Coach!

-You okay?

(whirrs)

(pinball dinging)

(clang, thud)

-Okay, User,

I'm jammin' now!

-We are helping!
We are helping!

-Wh-o-o-o-a!

(crash)

(siren)

-And that sound means the
User is on his final lap!

C'mon, Enzo! Get up!

We don't wanna
be nullified!

Think of your city!

Think of your friends!

But most of all--!

(sobbing) Think
of my career--!

-ENZO: This
is hopeless!

I wonder what
Bob would do...

I mean the smart Bob.

That's it!

The smart Bob would
use his brains!

I had to transfer all of
you to the User's team,

because he REALLY
needs your help

to make it to the
finish line!

-Really?!

-(chattering)
-Okay!

-Help the User!

-ENZO: I've got some
ground to make up!

-(siren)
-That's it!

Final lap!

-We are helping!
We are helping!

(sobs)

-The User's at
the finish line!

(audience cheering)

-I am helping to make
your boots go faster!

(whirrs)

-I can't watch! (sobs)

(crash)

(no audio)

(audience cheers)

-Yes!

(sighs)

-That smashing,
come-from-behind victory

was brought to you by
soothing 32-bit lotion.

"Because you itch."

-SYSTEM VOICE:
Game over.

(sighs)

-You are my hero!

-A-A-AGH!

(rumbling)

(woosh)

Phew!

-What's our problem?

-I have no idea!

-ENZO: Phong!

-I hope you learned

you should always
pay attention

to the road signs.

-What in the network
are you talking about?

-Shortcuts lead to
dead-ends, my son.

-Wait a minute...

You knew all
along, didn't you?

-Oh, wha... what?

Uh, were you
talking to me?

-I learned a
lot, Phong.

More than I
wanted, but...

thanks anyway!

You're not gonna catch me
getting smart all at once!

No way!

-BOB: You think
he's sick?

-DOT: Has to be.

He's so quiet,

so still...

-BOB: He hasn't knocked me over
for at least a millisecond!

-DOT: Think we should call
a diagnostic program?

-That's enough
for today!

These things take
time, y'know.



- (thud)
-Oof!

-ENZO: Anyone wanna
go circuit racing,

Jet-ball? Speed port?

Net cutter? Jump Slot?
Spooling?

Vector-ball?

Bob?

-Naaah.
-Naaah.