Rawhide (1959–1965): Season 6, Episode 12 - Incident of the Wild Deuces - full transcript

Mushy has phenomenal luck at poker, but learns that being wealthy is a mixed blessing. Coaxed into a game in town while getting supplies, he wins $1500. Back in camp the drovers fawn on him so much that they neglect their duties to the consternation of trail boss Gil Favor. Chewed out by Favor, Mushy secretly quits his trail-cooking job and heads for town. Rowdy and Wishbone follow him. Mushy has even more luck this time, winning half the saloon and all of owner Lorelei Mears' cash. So she can finagle her losses back, she has the sheriff throw Rowdy and Wishbone in jail on trumped-up charges. When the two are released they have their own idea on how to recoup Mushy's wealth, and Mushy realizes the best disposition of his wealth.

Ho.

I've forgotten what
a town looked like.

I'd like to know what it is about
this that would prod your memory.

One good spit would
land out in the country.

Well, are you coming?

Oh, yes, sir, Mr. Wishbone.

What's the matter
with you today, boy?

You're moping around
like a calf with a colic.

I got a feeling in my stomach
something's gonna happen.

It probably already has.

You must've had some of
Wishbone's flannel cakes this morning.



Smart aleck.

Bites the hand that feeds him.

You want me to come in the store
and start carrying out the supplies?

No, not with a colicky stomach.

You just stay right here till I get
some turpentine and sugar down you.

Good morning.

Heh. Good morning.

WISHBONE: Mushy.

- Yes, sir?
- You mind your manners.

MUSHY: Give you a hand?

Well, make that two,
brother, and you got a deal.

Well, I'll hold it for you.

Well, it might be safer
the other way around.

No, you just go ahead and
take a poke at it, reverend.



[CHUCKLES]

I don't know much
about your judgment,

but I sure like your faith.

REVEREND: There, it looks fine.

Well, I don't know about your
faith, but I sure like your aim.

[CHUCKLES]

Are you building a
new church, reverend?

Even the mighty oak must start

from the humble
beginnings of an acorn.

Well, I ain't got much,
but I'd be glad to...

No, no, no. No, thank you, son.
You've done enough already.

Well, I wasn't intending on
spending it on anything special.

Then just let it jingle.

Ain't nothing like a little
spending silver in a man's pocket

to make the day
stand up and shine.

Well, if you say so, reverend.

Yeah, I say so.

It was only a dollar, Lord.

And besides, he looked like
he needed it worse than we do.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

MAN 1: Four.

WOMAN: How about you?

MAN 2: Come on.

MAN 3: Here we are.

- What about you,
ladies? MAN 1: Yeah.

MAN 4: Beats me.

I better quit while I
still got eating money.

Come back again, Walt.

Don't I always, Lorelei?

- Bye, Walt.
- Seat open, cowboy.

Oh, no, thank you.

It's a friendly game.

So are you in or out?

We'll even let
you start the deal.

But Mr. Wishbone,
he told me to be careful

sitting across from
a man if I gambled.

Since you're a woman...

[CHUCKLES]

Nice that you noticed. Sit down.

- Thank you.
- Dealer's choice, five and ten limit.

How many chips?

Oh, I'll take that many.

I'd like to play seven-card
stud, deuces wild.

What kind of poker is that?

- Well, first you deal two down...
- I know how to play.

Lorelei, you're gonna
put up with this?

Trailblazer has a
policy of dealer's choice,

and that's what it is.

You don't mind if we
skip the introductions

and get right to the
game, do you, handsome?

Oh, no, ma'am.

There'll be plenty of time for that
later after we've played a few hands.

Yes, it'll take about that many.

Deal.

Yes, ma'am.

One,

one,

one,

one,

one.

Two, two,

two, two, two.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Mr. Favor, this crew's
getting mighty hungry.

Yeah, well, there's
jerky in the chuck wagon.

Well, not anymore.

We ate all of that
about two hours ago.

Yeah, well, with Wishbone not back,
what are we gonna do about cooking?

I'll tell you what, Scarlet.

Let's see how clean
your hands are, huh?

Well, not me, boss. I got
too many enemies already.

[CARRIAGE APPROACHING]

[WOMEN LAUGHING]

Let go of me. Turn me loose now.

Or Mr. Favor's gonna be mad.

- You better stop it.
- Stop what, honey?

- We're just being neighborly.
MUSHY: Neighborly?

WOMAN 1: Why, honey,
you must be ticklish.

[WOMAN 2 LAUGHS]

MUSHY: Well, let go of me now.

Turn me loose.

Boss, you're not
gonna believe this.

No, but you go ahead
and try me anyways.

Well, you see, it
happened like this.

- We were in town and...
- Mm-hm.

Wish, why don't you tell him?

Me tell him? You're the ramrod.

That remains to be seen.

Well?

Oh, we got a visitor.

Lorelei Mears. She's the
owner of the Trailblazer in town.

I'll get her for you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Well, you see,
boss, it was like this.

Mushy wasn't feeling too good,

so we left him in the
wagon to just kind of relax

while we went in
to buy us supplies.

Please continue.

Well, then when we come
out, we couldn't find him.

And when we finally did, there
he was with all these women, and...

Go on.

ROWDY: End of the line, Lorelei.

Well, maybe for you,
cowboy, but not for me.

FAVOR: Poker?

QUINCE: Jumping Jehoshaphat.

It's the gospel truth. The darn
fool's gone and won himself $1,500

playing seven-card
stud, deuces wild.

Fifteen hundred and 47
dollars to be exact, Mr. Favor.

Got any complaints
to make, lady?

Yeah, well, you ever
heard of a loser who didn't?

Your boy's cut me
off a little too soon,

and all I want is a fair
sporting chance to win it back.

You can have all the
chances you want,

except not here and not now.

Hope that's sporting enough.

Then suppose I make
you a proposition.

Why don't you and your
boys come back to town

and I'll set up the evening?

Drinks on the house
and all the fun you want.

How does that sound, boys?

MAN 1: Yeah. MAN
2: That sounds great.

Anybody who wants to
take her up on her offer

can pick up his
draw on the way out.

Well, wait a
minute, trail boss...

That's just what I'm
gonna do, wait one minute.

Then I'm gonna start clearing
camp, and I'm starting with you, lady.

Well, fair enough.

I'll go in peace

if the big winner will
keep me company.

FAVOR: Mushy.

Yes, sir, Mr. Favor.

Just got an offer to quit the
cattle business. You wanna take it?

No, sir, I couldn't
leave the drive.

Alrighty.

Well, let's get moving.
Wishbone needs wood for supper.

Yes, sir, right away.

Watch that money. You
wanna start a stampede?

Oh, you will show
the lady to her horse

and the road back to town.

Come on, girls.

Let's get out of this cow camp.

Oh, and the rest of
you better get moving

before you get
stomped on by the herd.

ROWDY: You know,
Lorelei, Mr. Favor isn't all bad.

He just kind of acts tough.

In fact, deep inside, he's got a
soft spot as big as all outdoors.

Then that makes you
two of a kind, doesn't it?

- How's that?
- Well, you have a soft spot too.

Right between your ears.

Hyah!

[SIGHS]

[MUSHY WHISTLES]

Well, I suppose you think
you're real happy now.

Oh, yes, sir. I guess I'll be
happy till the end of my days.

That money's gonna be
nothing but trouble to you, boy.

Well, that ain't
right, Mr. Wishbone.

Well, we all work hard
to get money, don't we?

Some of us do.

Now, go over and get me
those biscuits, and hurry up.

Yes, sir.

- What you need, Mush?
- That pan of biscuits.

Oh, don't bother yourself.

- I'll get it for you, Mush.
- He told me.

- In a pig's eye he did.
- I'll get them.

- I'll do it for you.
- Who asked for your help?

He was talking to me.

How'd you like a mouth full
of knucklebone for supper?

WISHBONE: Break it up!

Break it up, I said!

[ALL LAUGH]

If that don't cool you off, I
got another bucket that will.

- You hurt any, Mr. Quince?
- No, but they're gonna be.

Now, look at this mess.

Pick up those biscuits.

MUSHY: Sorry, Mr. Wishbone.

No, don't pick them up. I
gotta make a new batch.

Well, what are you all
just standing around for?

Clear out of here. There ain't
gonna be any supper for an hour.

You and your money.

It was only an
accident, Mr. Wishbone.

I didn't do it on purpose.

But money's supposed
to be good, ain't it?

Ain't it supposed to?

Supposed to be good.

[MEN YELLING & WHISTLING]

Yo, Quince!

Let's get that
lead steer moving.

They're beginning
to spread wide.

[MEN YELLING]

A lot of potholes in the middle
and the water's rising fast.

That ain't gonna help any.

No, we can't split the herd
on both sides of the river.

Just keep moving.

Well, you're not
singing this morning.

Money got you worried?

Maybe.

That's one of the big troubles
with having money, all that worry.

Well, I never worried
about it before.

You never had it to
worry about before.

I never looked at it that way.

Got any plans for
when you get to Denver?

Buying yourself a new
suit? Things like that?

I don't know exactly.

- I'll do something.
- Something?

You'd think a man
with $1,500 in his kick

can have some better idea of
what to do with it than something.

Yes, sir.

Hey, Wish, you better
put keels on them wagon

as you fix on
taking them across.

That's real considerate of
you to ride all the way back here

just to tell me that.

Now, what is it you really want?

Well, nothing special.

Just thought maybe Mushy
would let us take a gander

at all that money
in the daylight.

How would you like a gander
at a long-handled meat chopper?

Oh, don't get so huffy, Wish.

How about it, Mushy?
Like to show it to us?

I can't, I got it hid away.

Well, I hope you hid it real
good so the rats don't get to it.

Well, at least they
identified themselves.

Now get out of here
and leave him alone.

Well, all right with me if
he don't care what happens.

Oh, wait a minute, Mr. Quince.

What about them rats?

Well, they just like to chaw
on money. Make nests out of it

- and things like that.
- They do?

SCARLET: I even heard
of fellows having money

ruined by water and mold.

Ain't you, Toothless?

Crumbles up just like cornbread.

Oh, my goodness.

QUINCE: Well, now, you
could put it in the bank.

And you just happen to
have one in your hip pocket?

Nope, wouldn't recommend
a bank. Too risky.

They're always getting robbed.

Doggone, I never
thought of that.

Oh, I'll bet.

What do you think
we ought to do?

Well, Mushy, the onliest thing I know
to do with money is to go into town

and have one
wild hairy wingding.

Well, I never did that before.

Tell you what, I'll go in
town and show you how.

No, no. Toothless is just
funning with you, Mushy.

Now, the proper thing
to do with that money

is to invest it in a
good sound proposition.

What's a proposition?

It's how to get your pockets
picked while you're watching.

Mushy, when are
you gonna wake up?

Well, I'm awake, Mr. Wishbone.

They're just trying to
be helpful, that's all.

Helpful?

I'm gonna give you one
second to clear out of here

before I pound you
into those saddles.

Now, wait a minute.
It was only an idea.

Get! Get out of here!

And you, get that thing packed
and get that wagon out of here.

Yes, sir.

Oh!

[MEN YELLING & WHISTLING]

[YELLING & WHISTLING CONTINUE]

Well, come on!

[MEN YELLING]

FAVOR: Mushy, let's
get that wagon moving.

Well, come on!

Let's get some
ropes on that wagon!

I'll get it.

QUINCE: We'll save you, Mushy!
TOOTHLESS: We'll save you, Mush!

The supplies, Mr. Quince.

The supplies, Mr. Quince.

Forget the money, Mr. Scarlet.

Forget that money.

Quince, Scarlet, Toothless!

You get back to the herd!

MUSHY: Get the
supplies, Mr. Quince.

Forget that money.

You get back or I'll
break your backs!

MUSHY: You're gonna say
nothing to me, Mr. Wishbone?

I wouldn't mind even if
you said something mean.

You just wait till
Mr. Favor gets back.

He'll say something mean to you.

MUSHY: Good evening, Mr. Rowdy.

Mr. Favor.

How did it go?

We finally picked up four more

two miles down the
stream off of a sandbar.

Two of them was so stove
in that we had to shoot them.

- Oh, that's 12 we
lost. FAVOR: Yeah.

And I'm afraid I can't
save much of the supplies.

That figures.

Well, we'll just have to make
do till we hit the next town.

And the wagon's pretty beat up.

At least that ain't
gonna be no problem.

Now that Mushy's
tucked away nice and safe,

we'll have plenty of time to fix
the wagon, won't we, Scarlet?

Like, all night, huh, Quince?

Yes, sir.

All right.

Mr. Favor.

Seeing how the wagon got busted
and the supplies all got spoiled,

and them cows dead and...

And you being sore and all,
I'd be glad to pay for everything.

Mushy, let's get this straight.

You put that money away
and you keep it out of my sight.

We've had nothing but
trouble because of that money.

And we ain't gonna have no
more trouble. You got that straight?

Huh?

You better get that straight.

Or you better start
looking for another job.

I'm sorry, Mr. Favor.

[SNORING]

Nice night, ain't it?

I guess so.

Why aren't you sleeping?

I can't sleep, Mr. Wishbone.

I keep seeing Mr. Favor and...

I sure am sorry.

- Here, drink that.
- I ain't thirsty.

Go on, drink it. It'll
make you feel better.

I don't think anything's
gonna make me feel better.

Not as long as I got all that.

Mushy, I guess it's time
you learn the facts of life.

Facts?

Extra money don't
mean extra things.

It just means
extra responsibility.

What responsibility?

Did I ever tell you the story of
the rich man and the poor man?

Well, sir, the rich man
and the poor man died

and got up to the pearly
gates at the same time.

But old St. Peter, he
let the rich man in first.

And there was a big party.

Angels and music
and singing and...

Well, finally, St. Peter remembered
that poor man back at the gates

and went and let him in.

Only by this time,
the party was all over.

And the poor man says:

"Well, why don't you
throw me a party?"

And St. Peter says,

"Well, poor man like you
comes in here every day.

A rich man don't
make it very often."

Now, that's what I mean
about money, Mushy.

It means

it makes life an awful lot
harder for those that's got it.

It means they gotta take
the responsibility for it.

And if you don't, that's
when the trouble starts.

Just like yesterday.

You understand?

I think so.

So you just remember and
not put your trust in money.

Put your money in trust and
everything will be all right.

Now, you drink that
coffee and get on to bed.

It's gonna be the sun
up before you know it.

Sure will, Mr. Wishbone.

Mr. Wishbone, thank you.

WISHBONE: Mr. Favor, Rowdy.

- Mr. Favor, look at this.
- Hmm.

I had even forgot
he could write.

- What's all the commotion?
- Mushy's run off.

What?

"I'm sorry I did
not do very good.

I am going to see Miss Lorelei."

Lorelei.

"So you will not have
to put up on me no more.

For a while. Maybe.

I think.

Fare thee well,
Harkness Mushgrove."

That must be on account of
what you said to him last night.

Well, he had that coming.

Oh, well, then that makes two of
us. I should've kept my big mouth shut.

- Yeah.
- Well, there's nothing much

we can do about it now.

Now, you know, everything
that happened yesterday,

that wasn't all his fault.

Yeah. It could've
happened to anybody.

Maybe.

Yeah. That female scavenger
will pick him clean by noon.

You know, it's really
gonna be a shame

no one's there to kind
of look out for his interest.

All right, all right. You two
bleeding hearts get off my back.

You can go after him, but make
sure you get that money in the bank

before you bring him back.

WISHBONE: Yeah. ROWDY: Right.

"Fare thee well."

LORELEI: I'll bet 50.

I'm in.

ROWDY: Excuse us. Excuse
us. WISHBONE: Excuse me.

I bet 200.

- I'll raise you all I got.
- Oh, we're too late.

And he's bet it
on a pile of junk.

That gambling fool didn't
even look at his whole card.

Acts like he's trying
to give it away.

You know she's
got the other jack.

Mushy, you blind idiot.

Mr. Wishbone, Mr. Rowdy.

Well, I'm... I'll be
through here in a minute.

That's a pretty big raise.

You've caught me
a little short on cash.

We'll get your money. It's been
nice seeing you again, Lorelei.

LORELEI: Take your hands off
the table when you're not playing.

Joe, give me a pen.

JOE: Here you are.

I'm calling your raise.

ROWDY: Hmm.

LORELEI: How's the
Trailblazer to cover it?

Now let's see what
you're so proud of.

- Wait a minute. Deuces wild?
- That's right.

WISHBONE: That's five
aces. You can't beat it.

Oh, my goodness, I did it again.

- Let's get him out of here.
- Get the money, I'll get Mushy.

- Come on, let's go. LORELEI:
Wait a minute, cowboy.

The game isn't over.

As far as we're concerned it is, Lorelei,
unless you wanna play with matches.

It'll take me a couple of
days to raise some more cash.

I'll tell you something. We'll talk
about it on our way back from the bank.

Fair enough, but how about
a drink to celebrate first?

- No.
- No, thanks.

Everybody, drinks on the house.

Wait a minute now, don't you...?

Don't you consult your partner
before you give away the profits?

You keep pushing, cowboy,
and we'll both forget I'm a lady.

Well, how about it, partner?
Wouldn't you care for a little drink?

Yes, ma'am. I'd like
to have a sarsaparilla.

Well, step right up to the bar.

Thank you.

LORELEI: Joe. JOE: Yes, ma'am?

LORELEI: Give them all they want.
- Beer.

Beer.

Well, Lorelei, you're all heart.

I even give Christmas
baskets to trail bums.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You got yourself
in a fix, Lorelei.

LORELEI: Well,
I'll get out of it.

There are other
games besides poker.

All I need is a little time.

Walt, we've always been
good friends, haven't we?

Not good enough, but...

I can't win them all either.

That depends.

On what?

Those two cowboys
who broke it up,

it would help if they were
out of the way for a little while.

Say, a couple of hours.

There's nothing
I can do, Lorelei.

You could put them in jail.

They ain't broken any laws.

Well, think real hard.

They must have tracked
dirt on the boardwalk

or frowned at the mayor.

No.

No, Lorelei, I can't do it.

Well, I guess I'll just
have to call in some IOUs

to make up for the losses.

You know I can't pay them.

I know that, Walt.

And there's nothing I'd
like better than to help you,

but what can I do?

All right.

I'll think of something.

WISHBONE: Come on, let's go.

- Let's go to the bank, Mushy.
- I don't wanna go.

Would you stop acting
foolish and do like you're told?

But that money caused all
this trouble. I wanna get rid of it.

Well, that's why there's no
better place for it than the bank.

That don't get rid of it.

ROWDY: Sure it does.
You put it in the bank

and it's like you
don't have it anymore.

When you're old, like Wish here,
you got something to fall back on.

Any more smart out of you,
I'm gonna fall all over you.

Now, come on, behave yourself.

LORELEI: Hold on, partner.

We have things to talk
about. Let's go into the office.

Wait just a minute now.

- He's afraid of the dark.
- Let go of him, you jezebel.

Marshal.

What's the trouble?

Well, my partner and I

were just going into the
office for a private business talk

when these two
gentlemen tried to interfere.

Well, uh...

That your money, mister?

So, what if it isn't?

I believe you'll find it belongs
to my partner here, marshal.

Then give it to him.

Good riddance.

But he's just holding
it for me, marshal.

That'll be up to the judge to
decide when circuit court convenes

day after tomorrow.

- What?
- You're under arrest, both of you.

- Wait just a minute. What charge?
- Attempted theft.

Any more talk, I may
think of something else.

- Let's go, partner.
- I told you we should've got rid of it.

Let's go.

Well, I'm certainly happy
that you were only joking

about arresting Mr. Rowdy
and Mr. Wishbone.

Oh, yes. The marshal
said they laughed about it

all the way back to camp.

Well, I have to do
something so us businessmen

could have a private
talk now, didn't I?

I didn't want my friends to get in
any trouble on account of that money.

Well, don't worry, Mushy.

You put it in the safe with
your own hands, remember?

Well, all the same, maybe I should've
put it in the bank like they said.

Now, it'll be just
as safe in the office.

I'll keep it for you, and
I won't even look at it.

That's awful nice of you, ma'am.

You're welcome to look at it,
though, any time you want to.

Thanks, I'll do that.

Well, Mushy, let's have one final
drink to celebrate our partnership.

Excuse me.

Then you can be on your way

since we both agreed that
I'm going to run the business.

Oh, just while you're away
driving cattle, of course.

Joe, give my partner
a drink. The best.

You bet. What'll it be, sir?

You call me sir?

Why, that's right,
sir. You are the boss.

Well, I'll have a
double sarsaparilla.

Coming right up, sir.

How does it feel being
a partner, Mushy?

Real good.

Yes, ma'am.

Now, that's the way I like to
see a big man handle himself.

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah, but I've been thinking.

If I'm an important
businessman and all,

maybe I ought to get some of
them fancy clothes. New suit maybe.

With a stiff collar
and maybe a hardhat.

Well...

That would take money.

You wouldn't mind opening
the strongbox for me, would you?

Oh, no need to bother, Mushy.

I can give you an advance
right out of the cash drawer.

Joe, give Mr. Mushgrove $50.

- Fifty dollars?
- You heard me.

Now, Mushy, let's
go right over here,

sit down and make
ourselves comfortable.

- Yes, ma'am.
- There you are.

Joe, bring over some of
that free lunch. A lot of it.

You could eat a little something
before you go back to camp,

- couldn't you, Mushy?
- Yes, ma'am.

Girls, come over here
and meet your new boss.

They've just been dying
to get better acquainted.

- Well, now, isn't he just the nicest?
- I'll say he is.

Whoever heard of
a handsome boss?

You just eat, drink and be merry,
baby, because tomorrow's a long way off.

JOE: Here comes lunch. Look out.
- Right here.

Kelly, watch yourself.
There we are.

- There you are.
- There you are, Mushy.

And here's 10, 30, $50.

We wouldn't want you to think

we don't take good
care of the boss, Mushy.

I guess I'm the luckiest
man in the world.

Why don't you eat
something, honey?

MUSHY: Mm.

[WOMEN LAUGH]

I'll bet she's got him plucked
cleaner than a boiled chicken by now.

Yeah, well, I ain't
worried about him.

It's us I'm worried about.

We did save one
thing out of the deal.

Look at that.

- Hey, that's the deed she signed.
- Yeah.

- How did you get this?
- Well, I asked for it, of course.

Hm. Didn't by any chance
light-finger anything else, did you?

Like enough money to
bail us out of this trap?

No.

Well, I did lift this
watch off of him.

I gave it to him
for his birthday.

I wasn't gonna
let her steal it too.

Yes, well, now we can just
count the hours till this trial begins.

[SIGHS]

MARSHAL: All right, you
boys can be on your way.

ROWDY: How come?

Let's say I'm
campaigning for votes.

Gun belts are on
the rack in the office.

Where's Mushy?

Your wealthy friend?
Last time I saw him,

he was cutting a wide swath
through Tate's clothing store.

Come on, maybe
it's isn't too late.

Thanks for the
hospitality, marshal.

You got the friendliest
bedbugs I've ever seen.

Yeah, the whole town
brims with friendship, don't it?

Of course, that could
change any minute.

Was I you, I'd leave right now.

All three of you.

WISHBONE: Mushy.

What are you fellas doing here?

Looking for you,
you dandified jackass.

Well, Miss Lorelei said
you went back to camp.

Never mind that. You
got any money left?

Well, yes, sir, Mr. Rowdy.

About a dollar and 40 cents.

I don't feel so
good, I'd better...

What'd she do, poison you?

No, sir.

Must've been that
last turkey leg I had.

It couldn't have been
the ham and roast beef.

Or them pickles. They wouldn't
have upset me none particularly.

- I can't go on no more.
- Well, I'm surprised you got this far.

What happened to
the rest of the money?

Well, I bought
everything I wanted.

And a lot of things I
never even heard of.

And I spent the money
so fast, it came up $48.60.

And the rest of the money
is in Miss Lorelei's strongbox.

- Oh.
- She promised to save it for me.

Oh, then that finishes that.

Yeah.

I wouldn't be too sure, Wish.

Don't forget we
got this here paper.

Oh, well, it's
probably worthless.

Yeah?

Well, when I get through
with that female road agent,

she's gonna wish it was.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Well, well, well, if this
isn't a pleasant surprise.

Well, what's going on here?

Yeah, just step right in and
enjoy some real Texas hospitality.

Free drinks on the inside.

[CROWD CLAMORING]

LORELEI: Joe, have you
gone out of your mind?

Well, it's none of my
doing, Miss Lorelei.

Fella there in the office
is giving the orders.

He's got papers and everything.

Oh.

[CLAMORING CONTINUES]

Oh, hello, partner.

You're no partner of mine.
Get back to work, girls.

I was just getting
to know the help.

You can cry about it
on the way out, cowboy.

Afraid I won't
be going, Lorelei.

See this here deed
that you signed

- over to Mushy?
- Well, that...

That's right, it's the
deed to this place.

Got your signature on it.

Now, you see, Mushy, he...

He thought the pace
was getting a little too fast,

so he signed it over to me.

Hey, gee, that makes me half owner
of the Trailblazer now, doesn't it?

And I suppose those
free drinks outside

are an example of how you
expect the place to be run?

Well, no. Now, you see,
it's Big Foot Wallace day.

Big Foot Wallace,
he was a Texas hero.

And being a loyal Texan,
you see, I've gotta honor it.

Well, all right, you've had your
fun. I'm turning off the celebration.

Hold on, partner.

I recall reading somewhere

that the decision of one
partner is binding to the other.

- Right?
- What about it?

Well, I gave the order to keep
those drinks flowing till we're all out.

Now, you weren't around when
that decision was handed down, so...

You just kind of
gotta go along with it.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

- Yates? ROWDY:
Yeah, come right in.

- Which walls you want knocked out?
- Well, you see, it's this one here.

I thought we'd maybe knock it
out and stick it back about 30 feet.

Oh, well, that would
be easy. We'll just get...

You get out of here!

Wait a minute, partner.

You don't understand. I'm just
trying to help out around here.

I thought we'd
push this wall back,

make a real high-class
gaming room out of it.

Put in some roulette wheels and
one of those chuck-a-luck, faro outfits.

Do you have any idea
how much that can cost?

Mm-hm. Yeah, I do.

I figure

around the
neighborhood of $1,500?

Nothing to worry about, reverend.
He's gonna be fine, just fine.

Well, the wages of
gluttony take a heavy toll.

Have you considered
turpentine and sugar?

Uh-oh.

Quit moaning, Mushy.

You really think so, reverend?
The turpentine and sugar.

No doubt about it.

Why, I've seen horses
with a sprung fetlock

get a dose of that stuff
come up kicking on all fours.

What did I tell you?

You ought to pay
more attention to me.

Oh, I'm going to from now
on, Mr. Wishbone. I promise.

You sure you ain't
gonna stay mad at me?

Of course not. What do I
got to be mad at you for?

Well, the money.

It's an awful thing, ain't it?

Amen, brother.

Well, it isn't that bad.

Well, you and Mr. Rowdy
taking care of me

and looking after me like
this when I'm in trouble,

and I let them put you in jail.

Dreadful sin when a man
finds enough meanness in him

to turn from his friends.

Well, it wasn't really his meanness.
You see, it was that woman.

Oh, no, that money changed
everything, Mr. Wishbone.

All them things I bought, I
never enjoyed one of them.

Why, I...

I should've given the money to
the reverend for the new church.

Mushy, will you quit
running off with the mouth?

The Lord loves a cheerful giver.

But you can see he
isn't really that cheerful.

Yes, I am, Mr. Wishbone.

Well, just knowing that that
money ain't around anymore,

I'm beginning to
be awful cheerful.

Well, here you are, Mushy.

I got the money back for you.

Lorelei just bought
out your share.

Oh, no!

No?

Glory be.

Well, you take it, reverend,
for the new church.

Please.

What? After all the
trouble I went to get it back?

But ain't it right to do something
for the Lord, Mr. Rowdy?

He does a lot for us.

Answer him, you heathen.

Well, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Well, I appreciate all
you've done for me,

saving all the money
and everything,

but I ain't none too smart
to know what to do with it.

Besides...

Well, I got my friends
and a job and...

And a new suit.

And there ain't nothing else
I need in the whole world.

The Lord dealt you a
pat hand, didn't he, son?

Yes, sir.

I guess he did.

Now you're giving
it back to him.

Thank you, son.

And thank you too, brothers.

For sharing your friend's
blessed moment of charity.

Well, we was glad to do it.

Well, first thing I'm gonna buy
with this is a big supply of shovels.

Have to dig a good deep
hole for the foundation.

Oh, and you're all
welcome to join me.

- Shovels? REVEREND: Digging.

Good and deep.

Oh, heh, heh.

Well, thank you, reverend. No,
but we gotta back to the herd.

Yeah, you see I gotta make
supper for the herd. I mean, the men.

The drovers.

Maybe later.

Well, I wouldn't
mind digging a little.

Then you can dig a hole
and bury that suit in it.

Now, come on. Let's
get out of here. Bye.

A man really doesn't have to dig
to show the goodness in his heart,

does he?

[COWS MOOING]

SCARLET: Wish, are you sure?

Sure of what?

About Mushy there. He couldn't have
given away all that money, could he?

He not only could, he did.

Now, that means you parasites

are gonna have to find
yourself a new proposition.

Fifteen hundred dollars.

Well, we still got time
for a little penny ante.

It sure is good to be
back, Mr. Wishbone.

You're not gonna be back very
long if you don't get out of that suit.

Mr. Wishbone, you know, I won't
have to wait too long at the pearly gates.

Mushy, I said
get out of that suit.

Sure thing.

It sure is good to be back,
Mr. Quince. Mr. Scarlet.

Yup.

- Playing poker?
- Some call it that.

Can I sit in?

I thought you said you
gave all that money away?

I didn't give it all away.

I got a dollar left.

Well, that's better
than nothing.

Here, you can deal.

You know how to
play seven-card stud?

I've heard it mentioned
a couple of times.

Deuces wild?

You're dealing.

One, one,

one, one.

Two, two,

two, two.

Three, three,

three, three.

Rowdy.

Head them up!

Move them out!

[MEN YELLING]