Rawhide (1959–1965): Season 5, Episode 22 - Incident of the Pale Rider - full transcript
Having been forced to kill a man in self-defense in town, back at camp Rowdy is faced with an ominous new drover who looks exactly like the man he killed in town! Rowdy, Hey Soos and Calhoun were in town to pick up supplies and some wired money. John Day holds up Rowdy, shoots Calhoun and is shot dead by Rowdy. Three days later when the trio return to the herd, they find Favor's newly hired drover Rivers, who has all the clothes, mannerisms and eerie mood of the dead John Day, but he shrugs off all questions. First, Rivers disturbs Calhoun so much that wounded Calhoun has a deadly relapse. Next, he frightens superstitious Hey Soos so much, that he is severely injured backing off over a cliff. Then he taunts Rowdy into a fight, hoping Rowdy will kill him and hang for it. It turns out that he is a long-thought-dead brother of John Day, and his future plans had depended on moving to new territory with the brother Rowdy killed.
♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
- Hyah!
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Keep movin', movin', movin' ♪
♪ Though they're disapprovin' ♪
♪ Keep them dogies movin' ♪
♪ Rawhide! ♪
♪ Don't try to understand them ♪
♪ Just rope and throw
and brand 'em ♪
♪ Soon we'll be livin'
high and wide ♪
♪ My heart's calculatin' ♪
♪ My true love will be waitin' ♪
♪ Be waiting at the end
of my ride ♪
♪ Move 'em on, head 'em up,
head 'em up, move 'em on ♪
♪ Move 'em on,
head 'em up, Rawhide! ♪
-(whip cracks)
-♪ Cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪
♪ Ride 'em in, let 'em out,
cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪
-♪ Rawhide...! ♪
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
- Hyah!
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin'. ♪
(whip cracks twice)
♪♪
♪♪
Comfy?
Amen and pass the plate.
All I need's a harp.
Different cloud, baby.
Well, I'm afraid I can't
help you with the cloud,
but you might find
a harp inside.
Six dollars?!
That's right, S-I-X.
It's between five and seven.
I'll even count it.
Over my dead body,
you'll count it.
I just came in to get
a few little odds and ends.
I didn't come in to buy out
your whole town.
A few odds and ends.
Look, you got 20 pounds
of flour,
you've got eight pounds
of sugar,
you got one big-bottom pot
which is right out
of a drummer's dream,
and you got a three-pound
skillet..
Now you call that just a few
odds and ends?
No more than a dab.
I'm gonna do all my major
shopping up in the next town.
Mister, if you don't put
six iron men in
this little pinky, you ain't
gonna move out of...
Good afternoon, Miss Abigail.
Good afternoon.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Oh, perhaps you should finish
with this gentleman first.
Oh, no, ma'am.
You go right ahead.
Sweet.
It's just
about that material I ordered.
Yes, ma'am.
I have it right here.
ABIGAIL: Thank you,
Mr. Haddlebird.
If you will just
put that on my bill.
Sweet.
For such a little girl,
that's a mighty big package.
For such a big boy,
that's a mighty tired try.
Sorry, ma’am.
For such a little girl,
that's a mighty big package.
See what I mean?
What did I do?
Oh, there goes
a dream with feet.
Jezebel had feet, too.
HADDLEBIRD: Prettiest thing
this side of halleluiah.
That'll be six dollars.
Hey, who's she?
Miss Abigail?
About the best thing
that ever happened to this town.
She owns
the Silver Slipper Salon.
Salon?
Really it's saloon,
but she doesn't like
the sound of the word.
She says it ain't elegant.
Well, no doubt about it.
You know, uh, Wish,
this wagon-loading
is kind of dry work.
Especially on a hot day.
I wonder, uh, if this salon...
They have drinks there?
High, short, just plain wet,
you name it, they've got it.
(chuckles)
Yeah, I could, uh,
go for a little something
to settle my gastric acidity.
Hey!
What about the rest
of your supplies?
You load them.
I'm thirsty.
This is what a salon looks like.
I'll still take a saloon.
Man can't even hiccup
in a place like this.
You gents read?
You can hang them on them pegs.
'Round here,
guns just ain't refined.
Oh, well,
we wouldn't want anybody
thinking we weren't refined.
WISHBONE: Oh, my, no.
We might give this salon
a bad name.
Well, absolutely.
You point, I'll pour.
That brown stuff
looks mighty good.
I'll take about three fingers.
You'll take sarsaparilla,
and not very much of that.
Uh, as for me,
I think about two fat fingers
of that tall one there.
Wish?
"When I am dead, my dearest..."
Something wrong?
Uh, who is that in that picture?
That's Captain Favor,
just like it says.
Must have been a fine man.
Died a hero.
He died?
Lookout Mountain.
Story goes he got his whole
company out before he went down.
Miss Abigail just can't stop
pining for that man.
And Miss Abigail is his...
Widow.
(whispering)
Widow.
Real shame.
Pretty woman like that
just pining away
for a man eight years dead.
It's a real shame.
Eight years dead.
A real shame.
I need some of that brown stuff.
Make it three.
Make it six.
All right, let's take it
from the beginning.
Got the supplies
and nobody got shot.
Good.
Nobody's in jail.
Nobody even got drunk,
hmm, right?
Right.
No trouble.
No trouble, no.
What's the matter?
Come on, you're squirming around
like you're ready
to hatch a keg of gunpowder.
Yeah, well... (chuckles)
that's possible.
And you with two
nearly full-grown daughters.
Mr. Favor,
it just isn't like you.
What just isn't like me?
Well, if you'd have just
told us all about it,
it'd have been no problem.
Maybe we could've, uh, even
helped out a little bit.
She's such a pretty thing, too.
Now come on,
there's no use denying it.
We've been together too long.
Well, I guess things like this
happen even to the best of us.
Yeah, if you'd rather have me
take care of it,
I'll handle it for you.
What's it all about?
Your widow.
My...
What?
He means your wife.
Uh, Miss Abigail.
The poor little thing.
Yeah, but boss,
the way you handled it...
Did you have to tell her
you were dead?
I am not dead.
I ain't got no widow.
My wife died during the war.
Now, you all know that.
But whatever you heard
in that town,
or saw or thought,
be it animal, vegetable,
or mineral,
is either a big mistake
or a flat-out lie.
Now, Mr. Favor,
pictures don't lie,
and yours is standing there
on her bar
just as big as life
and twice as true.
Well, I can see good sense
ain't gonna settle this.
I'll have
to take care of it myself.
Where is this, uh,
supposed widow of mine?
At a place called
the Silver Slipper.
It's a salon.
A saloon.
Hold the herd till I get back.
My widow...
Of all the pea-brained,
simple-minded stories
I ever heard.
(chuckles)
Uh, hey, look, uh, Jim, uh,
you take over, will you?
Make sure everything's
all right.
Whoa, where are you going?
You don't think
I'm gonna miss this, do you?
Wait for me.
What about supper, Mr. Wishbone?
At a time like this,
who cares about food?
But I'm hungry.
Like the saying goes,
a picture's worth
a thousand words.
You do see the resemblance,
don't you?
FAVOR:
"Sing no sad songs for me."
(groans)
Here you are, gents.
Liquid dynamite.
Guaranteed to stir up...
Up...
You better leave the bottle.
I think it's found a friend.
Oh, sure, gents, sure.
(chuckles)
It's on, uh...
It's on the house.
It's got to be a mistake.
Here, try a little of this.
It might scare it away.
All right, all right.
The picture is legitimate.
I even remember
it was taken in Nashville
at a wedding.
(chuckling)
Well, it wasn't my wedding.
Look, there's got to be
a simple explanation.
Yeah, just a simple little case
of mistaken identity.
Captain Favor?
You see something green, boy?
Wrong color.
Ghosts wear white.
It's... it's him.
Back from the grave.
Now, look...
ABIGAIL:
Is there something I can do?
I'm sure that
whatever this is all about
is simply a misunderstanding.
Abraham tells me that there
seems to be a cattleman here
who has some kind...
(quietly):
of a problem.
It's been a long time, Abby.
Gil?
This sure isn't any case
of mistaken identity.
(panting):
Well... it can't be.
It can't... be.
Abby.
(excited chatter)
Well, don't just stand there!
No, no, you-you wanted
to handle this all by yourself.
- Why, you... -Her room...
I mean, your wife's room
is at the top of the stairs,
Captain Favor.
Uh, thanks.
Wish!
Sing no sad songs
for me, Captain.
Do you know, that's
a real nice epitaph.
(disgusted groan)
♪♪
(excited chatter)
Why, it's just like something
out of one of them fairy tales.
Just like he came back
from the dead.
I've heard Mr. Favor called
an awful lot of things,
but Prince Charming and spirit
isn't two of 'em.
Yeah, well, by the time
he and his widow finish up there
he's liable to add
a few more names to his list.
♪♪
Come here. This first.
You're gonna need it.
It really is you.
Oh, yeah.
And alive, and not
your dearly departed.
It's you.
Come on.
Oh, no.
I have a feeling I'm
going to need a clear head
more than I'm
going to need that.
I'll settle for a clear memory.
Well, where shall we start?
How about downstairs?
Come on, let's go.
Uh, oh... no,
Gil, I...
I still feel a little faint.
Well, then you'd better
get used to it, Abby.
Because by the time
you finish explaining
how come you're using my name
without benefit of clergy,
I've got a hunch you're
gonna feel a lot fainter.
- No, Gil, please... -Now, look,
what do you want me to do,
go down there and tell them
I was killed in a battle
that I never even saw?
That Dan was the best man,
and I was the groom in
that picture taken downstairs?
No, look, no more lies,
I promise.
J-Just hear me out, and...
and then you can do
whatever you have to do.
Well, I'm an idiot,
but all right.
Let's start with
that picture downstairs.
Last time I saw it,
Dan was standing alongside me.
Lieutenant Daniel
Beaumont Fletcher.
The pride of Virginia.
He was the most decorated man
in his regiment.
Yeah, well,
Dan was a good soldier.
He was a little boy, Gil...
all dressed up in gold and gray,
with a white horse to ride
and a silver saber to rattle.
But without all those things,
without the flags and the bugles
and the glory...
he was lost...
helpless.
So you cut him
out of the picture?
Not until I had cut him
out of my life.
After the war...
there wasn't anything
left in Virginia for Dan.
We came west
to start from scratch.
Only Dan's education had
somehow skipped over that word.
There was no root or hog
for Daniel Beaumont Fletcher.
For him, everything
had to start neck high
with champagne to wash it down.
One big idea after another
came tumbling down until...
Well, you might say I... I made
an interesting saloon hostess.
At least it kept
one of us out of jail.
He tried to hold up a store.
Then he killed a man.
Only it wasn't a man.
It was a boy.
♪♪
They didn't bother with a trial.
I was lucky.
They only used
preheated axle grease
and secondhand straw on me.
Abby...
I washed all the grease off,
but it took me over a year.
A lifetime at the bottom
of a dozen wells
to learn that...
no amount of soap
would ever take the stench
out of the one and only thing
Dan had left me.
His name.
So, you launched
the good ship Favor.
It was either that
or to learn to live
with mud for the rest
of my life.
Oh, Gil, don't you see?
Your name gave me
a one-way ticket
back into the human race.
It gave me respectability.
The legend of the war hero
who never existed?
That was the frosting
on the cake.
It gave me the halo to wear
with my widow's weeds.
And also made me owner
of this place
six months after I walked
through the front door
with two dollars in my purse.
And to live with a lie.
I tried living
with the truth, Gil.
I have the scars that prove it.
Oh, I know, I know.
A sin has many tools,
and a lie is the handle
that fits them all,
but what was my sin?
Creating a war hero
eight years dead
that still lives
in his widow's heart?
Was it wrong for me
to let this town
put me on a pedestal and call me
Miss Abigail instead of...
You gave me all this, Gil.
Please don't take it away.
Folks don't hurry like this
unless it's a celebration.
Or a funeral.
You don't think
that Mr. Favor would...
What do you mean?
Shoot a woman just for passing
herself off as his widow?
Unless she was his widow.
Yeah.
(indistinct chatter)
BARTENDER:
Ain't no doubt about it,
Captain Favor
right down to his boots.
I should know-- I been looking
at his picture long enough.
Oh, that man's been
dead and buried for nine years,
-come next month.
- Jebidiah, there's always them
that's got reasons
for disappearing,
especially cavalry officers.
Like old Stonewall used to say,
"All flash and no cash.”
Ha-ha! Uh...
Rowdy, I'm getting worried.
Don't you think
we ought to go up there?
(chuckles) We do,
and we'll probably come down
a lot faster than we went up.
(chuckles)
Depends on how many of us go up.
(indistinct chatter continues,
piano playing slowly)
Where's the boss?
He's busy-- and that's
what you're supposed to be.
Who's minding the herd?
Oh, well, the night hawks
are still on out there.
Yeah, but who's in charge?
Well, Clay'll be back
in a little bit.
- Mushy's there.
- Oh, Mushy!
It was because of Senor Favor.
W-We didn't know what to think.
Yeah.
Well, I have to admit, it ain't
often he comes up with a widow.
Will one of you please
tell us what's going on?
Well, whatever's going on
is going on up there
behind that door.
They been up there
for the better part of an hour.
Oh, that poor little thing.
Well, now,
Mr. Favor's probably got her
cut down to toothpick size.
I don't know.
A pretty face can tone the bark
out of most any man.
You don't think
that Mr. Favor would...
Aw, no.
Not Senor Favor.
Never can tell.
(plays slow intro)
♪ The sun is peeking out ♪
♪ Over the mountain ♪
♪ It's shining in ♪
♪ A special way ♪
♪ On this, our wedding day ♪
♪ The mission bells ♪
♪ Will ring ♪
♪ Down in the valley ♪
♪ To tell the world ♪
♪ That you are mine ♪
♪ My love ♪
♪ Padre, padre ♪
♪ As we say "I do" ♪
♪ Bless us ♪
♪ Padre ♪
♪ For our whole life through ♪
♪ And as the sun ♪
♪ Goes down ♪
♪ Over that mountain ♪
♪ The stars will light ♪
♪ Our trail tonight ♪
♪ As we ride ♪
♪ Home tonight ♪
♪ In all the west I'll be ♪
♪ The happiest trail boss ♪
(chuckles)
♪ For on ♪
♪ This day ♪
♪ You gave me... ♪
(excited chatter)
♪ All your love. ♪ Huh.
Oh, it's pretty!
I'm so glad you're all here.
I just can't tell you
how... (sobs)
how happy I am.
I'm sure I don't have
to tell you who this is.
It really is Captain Favor!
Where has he been
all these years?
I, um, know this must come
as a big surprise to you all,
but there really is
a simple explanation.
You see, I was, uh, wounded at
the Battle of Lookout Mountain
in the war--
a... a head injury.
Well, afterwards, they, uh,
they called it "amnesia."”
Amnesia?
Yeah, well, that's the term
that they use
for temporary loss of memory.
You see, it's like a door closed
up here on a few yesterdays.
And it wasn't until I walked
in here and actually saw Abby--
I mean, Abigail--
well, the door opened again
and I remembered the most
important day of my life.
I know you'll all understand
what this means to me;
finding a lovely wife
that I never even knew I had
after all these years.
I know you're going to help us
celebrate, too,
so drinks on the house
and keep those doors
swinging wide!
(all cheering)
Look, Mr. Favor...
Later, sonny, later. I'm busy.
Sonny?
(lively music playing)
(men cheering)
Drink up, boys, drink up.
It's on the house.
I ain't thirsty.
Soreheads.
Well?
Well, what?
Well, you're the ramrod.
Do something.
I will as soon as I can
think of something to do.
Isn't that awful?
Worst sight I've ever seen.
(song ends, cheering)
Oh, such a handsome couple.
Why, you two just purely got
to have the best-looking
children in two counties.
Oh, Gil, this is Thelma
and Jebidiah Haddlebird.
How do you do?
You know, you might say
Mr. Haddlebird is the leading
citizen of Calvin.
Thanks to you, Miss Abigail.
I mean, Mrs. Favor!
By the way she's got this liquid
gold mine running,
there just ain't much business
left for the rest of us.
Course, now if you would change
your mind
and sell me an interest in
the Silver Slipper...
Dame Fortune if a fickle
gypsy, Jebidiah.
That's why I made a rule
to always spin the wheel alone.
THELMA:
Not anymore, dearie.
You've got the Captain to do
your thinking for you now.
Oh.
Mrs. Haddlebird, to everything
there is a season,
to every purpose a time.
I'm quite sure
that when the right time
comes for me to do the thinking
for both of us, we'll know.
"Flower of the broom,
take love away
and our earth is a tomb.”
(chuckles)
Oh, if only you could be
a dashing cavalry officer.
And ride a white charger?
Thelma, I ain't got the soul
for it.
(women chuckle)
Um, Mr. Favor...
Oh, Rowdy, say, it's about time
you got acquainted
with Mrs. Favor.
Darling, this is Rowdy Yates.
Amen and pass the plate.
You know, it may not sound
like a harp,
but at least it's loud.
Shall we.
(soft violin music plays)
Oh, Mrs. Haddlebird, I hope
you won't think I'm too rude
if I borrow your husband
for a little talk.
Oh, not at all, Captain.
I'll even buy.
(soft violin music playing)
Now she's got Rowdy.
Well, we got to do something.
I tell you,
we just can't sit here
and let her pick us off
one by one.
Yeah, we got to stick together.
We got to get Rowdy out
of there
if we have to pull him
by the heels.
Now remember, don't any of you
let her sweet-talk you
because between a woman's
yes and woman's no,
there isn't even room
for a pin to go.
Come on.
Gentlemen, this is
a celebration, not a funeral.
That, madam, is all in
how you look at it.
Come on, Rowdy, we got
some answers to get.
Yeah, all right.
Uh, you'll excuse us?
Do I have a choice?
Miss Ab... uh, Mrs. Favor,
if you would give me
the pleasure?
I've made it a rule of my life,
Mr. Amy,
to make business a pleasure,
and pleasure is my business.
(Amy chuckles)
Good, then it's settled.
Captain, if you can get
Miss Abi...
Mrs. Favor's name on a deed,
you got yourself
the fastest deal ever made.
Since when does a husband need
a wife to close a deal?
Now you just draw up
those papers.
I'll take care of Mrs. Favor.
Captain, I'll be back
as soon as I can.
Mr. Favor, I think this has gone
just about far enough.
We think it's high time
you told these people
there's some kind of mistake.
Mistake? (chuckles)
Since when is finding a lovely
wife a mistake?
- But...
- Uh, like you said, Wish,
pictures don't lie,
and there's mine,
big as life, twice as true.
Yeah, but what about the herd?
Yeah, but look, boss,
you got responsibilities.
Jim, I figure my responsibility
comes to my wife first of all.
I'm afraid you're gonna have
to take over the herd, Rowdy.
Me?
You see, Mrs. Favor and I, well,
we're planning on having
a little honeymoon to make up
for the one we never had.
But Mr. Favor,
you, you just can't leave us.
What would you have me do, Joe,
make my wife a widow?
No, I'm sorry, fellas,
you're gonna have
to take it from here.
Well, I guess you've made that
pretty clear.
Yeah.
Lots of luck, Mr. Favor.
(band plays
"Oh, My Darling, Clementine")
Certainly did enjoy
your hospitality.
- Thank you.
- Good night.
Best hoedown Calvin's
had in years. Good night.
- Thank you, sir.
- Good night.
Captain, you should turn up
more often.
Oh, if you need anything,
dearie, you just holler.
Thank you.
One'd never think anything
so romantic would happen
in a dust pot like Calvin.
- Good night.
- Good night.
One more handshake,
I might as well run for office.
He who has a thousand friends
has not one friend to spare.
Right now I'd settle
for the same number of enemies.
It'd be a lot easier
on the feet.
Let it go, boys.
We'll clean up in the morning.
Oh, Abe, I'll lock up.
Sure thing, Captain.
After eight years,
you two need me around like
a hen needs teeth. (chuckles)
(clears throat)
(chuckles)
As the crackling of thorns
under a pot,
so is the laughter of a fool.
Oh, Gil, they believed it,
even your fantastic amnesia
fabrication.
My compliments to you, sir.
Your charm was exceeded
only by your performance.
With a leading lady like you,
how could I miss?
Well, the curtain just went
down, Gil, remember?
Oh, not as far as Calvin
is concerned.
This town has "Till death do
us part” written all over it.
Well, uh, it's been a long day.
I, uh...
Yes, it certainly has.
Well, of course, you'll be
wanting to stay with your men.
Leave you, darling?
Why, what would
your friends think?
Then... you'll be staying here?
Dearest... where else?
Where else?
(chuckles)
Well, naturally, I, uh..
Well, I'll-I'll just get
some bedding out for you.
(chuckles)
"When I am dead, my dearest,
sing no sad songs for me."
(gasps)
Oh, oh, now you startled me.
I got a few things together,
a few blankets
and a spare pillow.
I-I thought you might
make yourself comfortable.
Of course, I realize it's
not too comfortable downstairs,
I mean, with the drafts
and everything,
but I thought with a few
blankets,
you might... find it
comfortable?
Well, I'm sure you can
manage just fine
without my help!
(sighs)
I don't know about
this, uh, sofa, Abby.
It's a little bit short.
Maybe, uh...
You wouldn't dare!
Y-You, you just
try to come in here
and you will be a dead war hero.
You forget, Abby...
You forget, Abby,
I'm an officer
and a gentleman.
ABBY:
Well, then, act like one.
(gasps)
Gil, what are you doing?
Just want to make sure
you're safe, baby.
Good night, darling.
(sighs)
Good night.
You know, being your widow
had its advantages.
But it also had
its drawbacks, too.
One of them was this
little ivory tower of mine
could pretty lonely at times.
What about you, Gil?
What have you been
doing since the war?
Besides driving cattle, I mean.
Gil?
Gil?
HADDLEBIRD:
Well, that about rips it.
You know, for a soldiering man,
you cut a pretty lean deal.
It takes two to make a deal,
Mr. Haddlebird.
I think it's a fair price
for the Silver Slipper.
ABBY:
It's what?
Just what is
the meaning of this?
If you'll excuse me...
Use a board, son.
Straighten her right out.
ABBY:
Captain Favor!
If you think that you can enter
into any business transactions
behind my back,
I must tell you
that your education
has been sadly lacking
in the ordinary, first-grade,
rudimentary application
of common sense.
I'll have you know that
I have been managing my affairs
very nicely, thank you,
for some time now,
without your help!
I'll just be a minute.
(crashing, glass breaking)
(loud crash)
(thudding)
- ABBY: Stop it! Ouch!
-(smacking noises)
- Gil, stop it! Stop it!
- Woman, dog, walnut tree...
The more you beat 'em,
the better they be.
ABBY:
Ouch! Gil, Gil, stop it!
Ouch!
Ouch! Stop it!
Gil, stop it.
All right, all right,
I'll listen.
Ow.
No, I'll listen.
I promise.
Just get this straight,
'cause I'm only
gonna say it once.
I only agreed to put on
this uniform for one reason:
to walk you out of a lie
the same way you walked into it,
with your eyes wide open,
but yesterday's a closed book.
But it has got to be my way.
Now, either you
go along with it,
or we'll go downstairs
right now, and tell
Mr. Haddlebird your right name.
Well?
Gil, I...
You've got ten seconds
to think about it.
One...
two...
three...
four...
Now, Mr. Haddlebird, I believe
we were about to close a deal.
(chattering indistinctly)
Here they come!
(murmuring)
(cheering)
MAN:
Best of luck.
(laughs)
Oh, look at them.
Just like a bride and groom!
Calvin'll never be
the same again.
We won't let you go unless
you promise to return.
(crowd cheering)
Smile, sweetheart.
This is your honeymoon,
not an execution.
(laughs)
(crowd cheering)
All I wanted to say was...
well, I... I can't
thank you enough.
Not only for taking care of...
my little bride for me,
but for helping us start
our new life together
among friends.
Isn't that right, dear?
- Huh?
-(cheering)
As old wood is best for burning,
an old horse to ride,
old books to read,
so too, old friends
are the best to have.
Now, we may not have known
each other for very long,
but... but to me,
you'll always be old friends.
Thanks.
(cheering)
Here it is, boy.
I thumbed it out myself.
You want to count it?
Oh, remember, we're old friends.
Boy, when you turn it on,
it comes out better than cotton
candy and Red River syrup.
(laughing)
Ever you elect to
go in politicking,
-you let me know.
- Will do.
(cheering)
Wave good-bye to
our friends, honey.
"Cotton candy
and Red River syrup.”
- Giddyup.
-(cheering)
What do you figure, Rowdy?
Think we ought to get started?
Yeah, I guess.
Might as well pack up, Mushy.
Shouldn't we wait
a little longer, Mr. Wishbone?
Nah, he ain't coming, Mushy.
You'd better do
as Wishbone says.
We got to get going.
All right, everybody.
We gotta get going.
(hoof beats approaching)
Senor Rowdy, it's Senor Favor!
Mr. Favor.
We thought you were
on your honeymoon.
You said you were gonna
go on your honeymoon.
Tell 'em.
Abby...
All right, all right.
We were never married.
I only used his name because
mine ran out of blue ribbons.
Well, but... his picture.
It was handy.
Y-You might call it a...
a marriage of convenience
by proxy.
A marriage of convenience
by proxy?
FAVOR: Her husband was
a friend of mine.
Taking his place as a war hero
who never existed
was the only way that I could
get his widow out of Calvin
with her reputation
all in one piece.
But Captain... uh, Mr. Favor...
How come you never
told us about this?
Well, it was the only way
to ensure
that your silence
would be golden.
For the Silver Slipper...
$5,000, from Cupid
and Mr. Haddlebird.
(sighs)
I guess there really wasn't
any other way, was there?
There's a stage depot
down the road a few miles.
You'll be able to get
a new start there.
As marriages go,
ours didn't last very long.
But it had its points.
Uh, Rowdy, uh...
the lady needs a driver.
Amen and pass the plate!
Uh, just a minute.
On second thought...
Toothless better do the honors.
Sure a lot safer.
Oh, yeah.
I'll, uh, take this along
just in case you get
any ideas again.
I ain't never had
no pictures took.
Well?
All right, come on, let's get
these things packed up.
Mushy!
Well, uh, shall I form the
cattle into platoons, Captain?
Or should we just charge 'em
right into Denver?
At ease, Private.
At ease.
Private?
Head 'em up!
Move 'em out!
♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Keep movin', movin', movin' ♪
♪ Though they're disapprovin' ♪
♪ Keep them dogies movin' ♪
♪ Rawhide! ♪
♪ Rawhide...! ♪
Hyah!
(whip cracks twice)
- Hyah!
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Keep movin', movin', movin' ♪
♪ Though they're disapprovin' ♪
♪ Keep them dogies movin' ♪
♪ Rawhide! ♪
♪ Don't try to understand them ♪
♪ Just rope and throw
and brand 'em ♪
♪ Soon we'll be livin'
high and wide ♪
♪ My heart's calculatin' ♪
♪ My true love will be waitin' ♪
♪ Be waiting at the end
of my ride ♪
♪ Move 'em on, head 'em up,
head 'em up, move 'em on ♪
♪ Move 'em on,
head 'em up, Rawhide! ♪
-(whip cracks)
-♪ Cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪
♪ Ride 'em in, let 'em out,
cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪
-♪ Rawhide...! ♪
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
- Hyah!
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin'. ♪
(whip cracks twice)
♪♪
♪♪
Comfy?
Amen and pass the plate.
All I need's a harp.
Different cloud, baby.
Well, I'm afraid I can't
help you with the cloud,
but you might find
a harp inside.
Six dollars?!
That's right, S-I-X.
It's between five and seven.
I'll even count it.
Over my dead body,
you'll count it.
I just came in to get
a few little odds and ends.
I didn't come in to buy out
your whole town.
A few odds and ends.
Look, you got 20 pounds
of flour,
you've got eight pounds
of sugar,
you got one big-bottom pot
which is right out
of a drummer's dream,
and you got a three-pound
skillet..
Now you call that just a few
odds and ends?
No more than a dab.
I'm gonna do all my major
shopping up in the next town.
Mister, if you don't put
six iron men in
this little pinky, you ain't
gonna move out of...
Good afternoon, Miss Abigail.
Good afternoon.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Oh, perhaps you should finish
with this gentleman first.
Oh, no, ma'am.
You go right ahead.
Sweet.
It's just
about that material I ordered.
Yes, ma'am.
I have it right here.
ABIGAIL: Thank you,
Mr. Haddlebird.
If you will just
put that on my bill.
Sweet.
For such a little girl,
that's a mighty big package.
For such a big boy,
that's a mighty tired try.
Sorry, ma’am.
For such a little girl,
that's a mighty big package.
See what I mean?
What did I do?
Oh, there goes
a dream with feet.
Jezebel had feet, too.
HADDLEBIRD: Prettiest thing
this side of halleluiah.
That'll be six dollars.
Hey, who's she?
Miss Abigail?
About the best thing
that ever happened to this town.
She owns
the Silver Slipper Salon.
Salon?
Really it's saloon,
but she doesn't like
the sound of the word.
She says it ain't elegant.
Well, no doubt about it.
You know, uh, Wish,
this wagon-loading
is kind of dry work.
Especially on a hot day.
I wonder, uh, if this salon...
They have drinks there?
High, short, just plain wet,
you name it, they've got it.
(chuckles)
Yeah, I could, uh,
go for a little something
to settle my gastric acidity.
Hey!
What about the rest
of your supplies?
You load them.
I'm thirsty.
This is what a salon looks like.
I'll still take a saloon.
Man can't even hiccup
in a place like this.
You gents read?
You can hang them on them pegs.
'Round here,
guns just ain't refined.
Oh, well,
we wouldn't want anybody
thinking we weren't refined.
WISHBONE: Oh, my, no.
We might give this salon
a bad name.
Well, absolutely.
You point, I'll pour.
That brown stuff
looks mighty good.
I'll take about three fingers.
You'll take sarsaparilla,
and not very much of that.
Uh, as for me,
I think about two fat fingers
of that tall one there.
Wish?
"When I am dead, my dearest..."
Something wrong?
Uh, who is that in that picture?
That's Captain Favor,
just like it says.
Must have been a fine man.
Died a hero.
He died?
Lookout Mountain.
Story goes he got his whole
company out before he went down.
Miss Abigail just can't stop
pining for that man.
And Miss Abigail is his...
Widow.
(whispering)
Widow.
Real shame.
Pretty woman like that
just pining away
for a man eight years dead.
It's a real shame.
Eight years dead.
A real shame.
I need some of that brown stuff.
Make it three.
Make it six.
All right, let's take it
from the beginning.
Got the supplies
and nobody got shot.
Good.
Nobody's in jail.
Nobody even got drunk,
hmm, right?
Right.
No trouble.
No trouble, no.
What's the matter?
Come on, you're squirming around
like you're ready
to hatch a keg of gunpowder.
Yeah, well... (chuckles)
that's possible.
And you with two
nearly full-grown daughters.
Mr. Favor,
it just isn't like you.
What just isn't like me?
Well, if you'd have just
told us all about it,
it'd have been no problem.
Maybe we could've, uh, even
helped out a little bit.
She's such a pretty thing, too.
Now come on,
there's no use denying it.
We've been together too long.
Well, I guess things like this
happen even to the best of us.
Yeah, if you'd rather have me
take care of it,
I'll handle it for you.
What's it all about?
Your widow.
My...
What?
He means your wife.
Uh, Miss Abigail.
The poor little thing.
Yeah, but boss,
the way you handled it...
Did you have to tell her
you were dead?
I am not dead.
I ain't got no widow.
My wife died during the war.
Now, you all know that.
But whatever you heard
in that town,
or saw or thought,
be it animal, vegetable,
or mineral,
is either a big mistake
or a flat-out lie.
Now, Mr. Favor,
pictures don't lie,
and yours is standing there
on her bar
just as big as life
and twice as true.
Well, I can see good sense
ain't gonna settle this.
I'll have
to take care of it myself.
Where is this, uh,
supposed widow of mine?
At a place called
the Silver Slipper.
It's a salon.
A saloon.
Hold the herd till I get back.
My widow...
Of all the pea-brained,
simple-minded stories
I ever heard.
(chuckles)
Uh, hey, look, uh, Jim, uh,
you take over, will you?
Make sure everything's
all right.
Whoa, where are you going?
You don't think
I'm gonna miss this, do you?
Wait for me.
What about supper, Mr. Wishbone?
At a time like this,
who cares about food?
But I'm hungry.
Like the saying goes,
a picture's worth
a thousand words.
You do see the resemblance,
don't you?
FAVOR:
"Sing no sad songs for me."
(groans)
Here you are, gents.
Liquid dynamite.
Guaranteed to stir up...
Up...
You better leave the bottle.
I think it's found a friend.
Oh, sure, gents, sure.
(chuckles)
It's on, uh...
It's on the house.
It's got to be a mistake.
Here, try a little of this.
It might scare it away.
All right, all right.
The picture is legitimate.
I even remember
it was taken in Nashville
at a wedding.
(chuckling)
Well, it wasn't my wedding.
Look, there's got to be
a simple explanation.
Yeah, just a simple little case
of mistaken identity.
Captain Favor?
You see something green, boy?
Wrong color.
Ghosts wear white.
It's... it's him.
Back from the grave.
Now, look...
ABIGAIL:
Is there something I can do?
I'm sure that
whatever this is all about
is simply a misunderstanding.
Abraham tells me that there
seems to be a cattleman here
who has some kind...
(quietly):
of a problem.
It's been a long time, Abby.
Gil?
This sure isn't any case
of mistaken identity.
(panting):
Well... it can't be.
It can't... be.
Abby.
(excited chatter)
Well, don't just stand there!
No, no, you-you wanted
to handle this all by yourself.
- Why, you... -Her room...
I mean, your wife's room
is at the top of the stairs,
Captain Favor.
Uh, thanks.
Wish!
Sing no sad songs
for me, Captain.
Do you know, that's
a real nice epitaph.
(disgusted groan)
♪♪
(excited chatter)
Why, it's just like something
out of one of them fairy tales.
Just like he came back
from the dead.
I've heard Mr. Favor called
an awful lot of things,
but Prince Charming and spirit
isn't two of 'em.
Yeah, well, by the time
he and his widow finish up there
he's liable to add
a few more names to his list.
♪♪
Come here. This first.
You're gonna need it.
It really is you.
Oh, yeah.
And alive, and not
your dearly departed.
It's you.
Come on.
Oh, no.
I have a feeling I'm
going to need a clear head
more than I'm
going to need that.
I'll settle for a clear memory.
Well, where shall we start?
How about downstairs?
Come on, let's go.
Uh, oh... no,
Gil, I...
I still feel a little faint.
Well, then you'd better
get used to it, Abby.
Because by the time
you finish explaining
how come you're using my name
without benefit of clergy,
I've got a hunch you're
gonna feel a lot fainter.
- No, Gil, please... -Now, look,
what do you want me to do,
go down there and tell them
I was killed in a battle
that I never even saw?
That Dan was the best man,
and I was the groom in
that picture taken downstairs?
No, look, no more lies,
I promise.
J-Just hear me out, and...
and then you can do
whatever you have to do.
Well, I'm an idiot,
but all right.
Let's start with
that picture downstairs.
Last time I saw it,
Dan was standing alongside me.
Lieutenant Daniel
Beaumont Fletcher.
The pride of Virginia.
He was the most decorated man
in his regiment.
Yeah, well,
Dan was a good soldier.
He was a little boy, Gil...
all dressed up in gold and gray,
with a white horse to ride
and a silver saber to rattle.
But without all those things,
without the flags and the bugles
and the glory...
he was lost...
helpless.
So you cut him
out of the picture?
Not until I had cut him
out of my life.
After the war...
there wasn't anything
left in Virginia for Dan.
We came west
to start from scratch.
Only Dan's education had
somehow skipped over that word.
There was no root or hog
for Daniel Beaumont Fletcher.
For him, everything
had to start neck high
with champagne to wash it down.
One big idea after another
came tumbling down until...
Well, you might say I... I made
an interesting saloon hostess.
At least it kept
one of us out of jail.
He tried to hold up a store.
Then he killed a man.
Only it wasn't a man.
It was a boy.
♪♪
They didn't bother with a trial.
I was lucky.
They only used
preheated axle grease
and secondhand straw on me.
Abby...
I washed all the grease off,
but it took me over a year.
A lifetime at the bottom
of a dozen wells
to learn that...
no amount of soap
would ever take the stench
out of the one and only thing
Dan had left me.
His name.
So, you launched
the good ship Favor.
It was either that
or to learn to live
with mud for the rest
of my life.
Oh, Gil, don't you see?
Your name gave me
a one-way ticket
back into the human race.
It gave me respectability.
The legend of the war hero
who never existed?
That was the frosting
on the cake.
It gave me the halo to wear
with my widow's weeds.
And also made me owner
of this place
six months after I walked
through the front door
with two dollars in my purse.
And to live with a lie.
I tried living
with the truth, Gil.
I have the scars that prove it.
Oh, I know, I know.
A sin has many tools,
and a lie is the handle
that fits them all,
but what was my sin?
Creating a war hero
eight years dead
that still lives
in his widow's heart?
Was it wrong for me
to let this town
put me on a pedestal and call me
Miss Abigail instead of...
You gave me all this, Gil.
Please don't take it away.
Folks don't hurry like this
unless it's a celebration.
Or a funeral.
You don't think
that Mr. Favor would...
What do you mean?
Shoot a woman just for passing
herself off as his widow?
Unless she was his widow.
Yeah.
(indistinct chatter)
BARTENDER:
Ain't no doubt about it,
Captain Favor
right down to his boots.
I should know-- I been looking
at his picture long enough.
Oh, that man's been
dead and buried for nine years,
-come next month.
- Jebidiah, there's always them
that's got reasons
for disappearing,
especially cavalry officers.
Like old Stonewall used to say,
"All flash and no cash.”
Ha-ha! Uh...
Rowdy, I'm getting worried.
Don't you think
we ought to go up there?
(chuckles) We do,
and we'll probably come down
a lot faster than we went up.
(chuckles)
Depends on how many of us go up.
(indistinct chatter continues,
piano playing slowly)
Where's the boss?
He's busy-- and that's
what you're supposed to be.
Who's minding the herd?
Oh, well, the night hawks
are still on out there.
Yeah, but who's in charge?
Well, Clay'll be back
in a little bit.
- Mushy's there.
- Oh, Mushy!
It was because of Senor Favor.
W-We didn't know what to think.
Yeah.
Well, I have to admit, it ain't
often he comes up with a widow.
Will one of you please
tell us what's going on?
Well, whatever's going on
is going on up there
behind that door.
They been up there
for the better part of an hour.
Oh, that poor little thing.
Well, now,
Mr. Favor's probably got her
cut down to toothpick size.
I don't know.
A pretty face can tone the bark
out of most any man.
You don't think
that Mr. Favor would...
Aw, no.
Not Senor Favor.
Never can tell.
(plays slow intro)
♪ The sun is peeking out ♪
♪ Over the mountain ♪
♪ It's shining in ♪
♪ A special way ♪
♪ On this, our wedding day ♪
♪ The mission bells ♪
♪ Will ring ♪
♪ Down in the valley ♪
♪ To tell the world ♪
♪ That you are mine ♪
♪ My love ♪
♪ Padre, padre ♪
♪ As we say "I do" ♪
♪ Bless us ♪
♪ Padre ♪
♪ For our whole life through ♪
♪ And as the sun ♪
♪ Goes down ♪
♪ Over that mountain ♪
♪ The stars will light ♪
♪ Our trail tonight ♪
♪ As we ride ♪
♪ Home tonight ♪
♪ In all the west I'll be ♪
♪ The happiest trail boss ♪
(chuckles)
♪ For on ♪
♪ This day ♪
♪ You gave me... ♪
(excited chatter)
♪ All your love. ♪ Huh.
Oh, it's pretty!
I'm so glad you're all here.
I just can't tell you
how... (sobs)
how happy I am.
I'm sure I don't have
to tell you who this is.
It really is Captain Favor!
Where has he been
all these years?
I, um, know this must come
as a big surprise to you all,
but there really is
a simple explanation.
You see, I was, uh, wounded at
the Battle of Lookout Mountain
in the war--
a... a head injury.
Well, afterwards, they, uh,
they called it "amnesia."”
Amnesia?
Yeah, well, that's the term
that they use
for temporary loss of memory.
You see, it's like a door closed
up here on a few yesterdays.
And it wasn't until I walked
in here and actually saw Abby--
I mean, Abigail--
well, the door opened again
and I remembered the most
important day of my life.
I know you'll all understand
what this means to me;
finding a lovely wife
that I never even knew I had
after all these years.
I know you're going to help us
celebrate, too,
so drinks on the house
and keep those doors
swinging wide!
(all cheering)
Look, Mr. Favor...
Later, sonny, later. I'm busy.
Sonny?
(lively music playing)
(men cheering)
Drink up, boys, drink up.
It's on the house.
I ain't thirsty.
Soreheads.
Well?
Well, what?
Well, you're the ramrod.
Do something.
I will as soon as I can
think of something to do.
Isn't that awful?
Worst sight I've ever seen.
(song ends, cheering)
Oh, such a handsome couple.
Why, you two just purely got
to have the best-looking
children in two counties.
Oh, Gil, this is Thelma
and Jebidiah Haddlebird.
How do you do?
You know, you might say
Mr. Haddlebird is the leading
citizen of Calvin.
Thanks to you, Miss Abigail.
I mean, Mrs. Favor!
By the way she's got this liquid
gold mine running,
there just ain't much business
left for the rest of us.
Course, now if you would change
your mind
and sell me an interest in
the Silver Slipper...
Dame Fortune if a fickle
gypsy, Jebidiah.
That's why I made a rule
to always spin the wheel alone.
THELMA:
Not anymore, dearie.
You've got the Captain to do
your thinking for you now.
Oh.
Mrs. Haddlebird, to everything
there is a season,
to every purpose a time.
I'm quite sure
that when the right time
comes for me to do the thinking
for both of us, we'll know.
"Flower of the broom,
take love away
and our earth is a tomb.”
(chuckles)
Oh, if only you could be
a dashing cavalry officer.
And ride a white charger?
Thelma, I ain't got the soul
for it.
(women chuckle)
Um, Mr. Favor...
Oh, Rowdy, say, it's about time
you got acquainted
with Mrs. Favor.
Darling, this is Rowdy Yates.
Amen and pass the plate.
You know, it may not sound
like a harp,
but at least it's loud.
Shall we.
(soft violin music plays)
Oh, Mrs. Haddlebird, I hope
you won't think I'm too rude
if I borrow your husband
for a little talk.
Oh, not at all, Captain.
I'll even buy.
(soft violin music playing)
Now she's got Rowdy.
Well, we got to do something.
I tell you,
we just can't sit here
and let her pick us off
one by one.
Yeah, we got to stick together.
We got to get Rowdy out
of there
if we have to pull him
by the heels.
Now remember, don't any of you
let her sweet-talk you
because between a woman's
yes and woman's no,
there isn't even room
for a pin to go.
Come on.
Gentlemen, this is
a celebration, not a funeral.
That, madam, is all in
how you look at it.
Come on, Rowdy, we got
some answers to get.
Yeah, all right.
Uh, you'll excuse us?
Do I have a choice?
Miss Ab... uh, Mrs. Favor,
if you would give me
the pleasure?
I've made it a rule of my life,
Mr. Amy,
to make business a pleasure,
and pleasure is my business.
(Amy chuckles)
Good, then it's settled.
Captain, if you can get
Miss Abi...
Mrs. Favor's name on a deed,
you got yourself
the fastest deal ever made.
Since when does a husband need
a wife to close a deal?
Now you just draw up
those papers.
I'll take care of Mrs. Favor.
Captain, I'll be back
as soon as I can.
Mr. Favor, I think this has gone
just about far enough.
We think it's high time
you told these people
there's some kind of mistake.
Mistake? (chuckles)
Since when is finding a lovely
wife a mistake?
- But...
- Uh, like you said, Wish,
pictures don't lie,
and there's mine,
big as life, twice as true.
Yeah, but what about the herd?
Yeah, but look, boss,
you got responsibilities.
Jim, I figure my responsibility
comes to my wife first of all.
I'm afraid you're gonna have
to take over the herd, Rowdy.
Me?
You see, Mrs. Favor and I, well,
we're planning on having
a little honeymoon to make up
for the one we never had.
But Mr. Favor,
you, you just can't leave us.
What would you have me do, Joe,
make my wife a widow?
No, I'm sorry, fellas,
you're gonna have
to take it from here.
Well, I guess you've made that
pretty clear.
Yeah.
Lots of luck, Mr. Favor.
(band plays
"Oh, My Darling, Clementine")
Certainly did enjoy
your hospitality.
- Thank you.
- Good night.
Best hoedown Calvin's
had in years. Good night.
- Thank you, sir.
- Good night.
Captain, you should turn up
more often.
Oh, if you need anything,
dearie, you just holler.
Thank you.
One'd never think anything
so romantic would happen
in a dust pot like Calvin.
- Good night.
- Good night.
One more handshake,
I might as well run for office.
He who has a thousand friends
has not one friend to spare.
Right now I'd settle
for the same number of enemies.
It'd be a lot easier
on the feet.
Let it go, boys.
We'll clean up in the morning.
Oh, Abe, I'll lock up.
Sure thing, Captain.
After eight years,
you two need me around like
a hen needs teeth. (chuckles)
(clears throat)
(chuckles)
As the crackling of thorns
under a pot,
so is the laughter of a fool.
Oh, Gil, they believed it,
even your fantastic amnesia
fabrication.
My compliments to you, sir.
Your charm was exceeded
only by your performance.
With a leading lady like you,
how could I miss?
Well, the curtain just went
down, Gil, remember?
Oh, not as far as Calvin
is concerned.
This town has "Till death do
us part” written all over it.
Well, uh, it's been a long day.
I, uh...
Yes, it certainly has.
Well, of course, you'll be
wanting to stay with your men.
Leave you, darling?
Why, what would
your friends think?
Then... you'll be staying here?
Dearest... where else?
Where else?
(chuckles)
Well, naturally, I, uh..
Well, I'll-I'll just get
some bedding out for you.
(chuckles)
"When I am dead, my dearest,
sing no sad songs for me."
(gasps)
Oh, oh, now you startled me.
I got a few things together,
a few blankets
and a spare pillow.
I-I thought you might
make yourself comfortable.
Of course, I realize it's
not too comfortable downstairs,
I mean, with the drafts
and everything,
but I thought with a few
blankets,
you might... find it
comfortable?
Well, I'm sure you can
manage just fine
without my help!
(sighs)
I don't know about
this, uh, sofa, Abby.
It's a little bit short.
Maybe, uh...
You wouldn't dare!
Y-You, you just
try to come in here
and you will be a dead war hero.
You forget, Abby...
You forget, Abby,
I'm an officer
and a gentleman.
ABBY:
Well, then, act like one.
(gasps)
Gil, what are you doing?
Just want to make sure
you're safe, baby.
Good night, darling.
(sighs)
Good night.
You know, being your widow
had its advantages.
But it also had
its drawbacks, too.
One of them was this
little ivory tower of mine
could pretty lonely at times.
What about you, Gil?
What have you been
doing since the war?
Besides driving cattle, I mean.
Gil?
Gil?
HADDLEBIRD:
Well, that about rips it.
You know, for a soldiering man,
you cut a pretty lean deal.
It takes two to make a deal,
Mr. Haddlebird.
I think it's a fair price
for the Silver Slipper.
ABBY:
It's what?
Just what is
the meaning of this?
If you'll excuse me...
Use a board, son.
Straighten her right out.
ABBY:
Captain Favor!
If you think that you can enter
into any business transactions
behind my back,
I must tell you
that your education
has been sadly lacking
in the ordinary, first-grade,
rudimentary application
of common sense.
I'll have you know that
I have been managing my affairs
very nicely, thank you,
for some time now,
without your help!
I'll just be a minute.
(crashing, glass breaking)
(loud crash)
(thudding)
- ABBY: Stop it! Ouch!
-(smacking noises)
- Gil, stop it! Stop it!
- Woman, dog, walnut tree...
The more you beat 'em,
the better they be.
ABBY:
Ouch! Gil, Gil, stop it!
Ouch!
Ouch! Stop it!
Gil, stop it.
All right, all right,
I'll listen.
Ow.
No, I'll listen.
I promise.
Just get this straight,
'cause I'm only
gonna say it once.
I only agreed to put on
this uniform for one reason:
to walk you out of a lie
the same way you walked into it,
with your eyes wide open,
but yesterday's a closed book.
But it has got to be my way.
Now, either you
go along with it,
or we'll go downstairs
right now, and tell
Mr. Haddlebird your right name.
Well?
Gil, I...
You've got ten seconds
to think about it.
One...
two...
three...
four...
Now, Mr. Haddlebird, I believe
we were about to close a deal.
(chattering indistinctly)
Here they come!
(murmuring)
(cheering)
MAN:
Best of luck.
(laughs)
Oh, look at them.
Just like a bride and groom!
Calvin'll never be
the same again.
We won't let you go unless
you promise to return.
(crowd cheering)
Smile, sweetheart.
This is your honeymoon,
not an execution.
(laughs)
(crowd cheering)
All I wanted to say was...
well, I... I can't
thank you enough.
Not only for taking care of...
my little bride for me,
but for helping us start
our new life together
among friends.
Isn't that right, dear?
- Huh?
-(cheering)
As old wood is best for burning,
an old horse to ride,
old books to read,
so too, old friends
are the best to have.
Now, we may not have known
each other for very long,
but... but to me,
you'll always be old friends.
Thanks.
(cheering)
Here it is, boy.
I thumbed it out myself.
You want to count it?
Oh, remember, we're old friends.
Boy, when you turn it on,
it comes out better than cotton
candy and Red River syrup.
(laughing)
Ever you elect to
go in politicking,
-you let me know.
- Will do.
(cheering)
Wave good-bye to
our friends, honey.
"Cotton candy
and Red River syrup.”
- Giddyup.
-(cheering)
What do you figure, Rowdy?
Think we ought to get started?
Yeah, I guess.
Might as well pack up, Mushy.
Shouldn't we wait
a little longer, Mr. Wishbone?
Nah, he ain't coming, Mushy.
You'd better do
as Wishbone says.
We got to get going.
All right, everybody.
We gotta get going.
(hoof beats approaching)
Senor Rowdy, it's Senor Favor!
Mr. Favor.
We thought you were
on your honeymoon.
You said you were gonna
go on your honeymoon.
Tell 'em.
Abby...
All right, all right.
We were never married.
I only used his name because
mine ran out of blue ribbons.
Well, but... his picture.
It was handy.
Y-You might call it a...
a marriage of convenience
by proxy.
A marriage of convenience
by proxy?
FAVOR: Her husband was
a friend of mine.
Taking his place as a war hero
who never existed
was the only way that I could
get his widow out of Calvin
with her reputation
all in one piece.
But Captain... uh, Mr. Favor...
How come you never
told us about this?
Well, it was the only way
to ensure
that your silence
would be golden.
For the Silver Slipper...
$5,000, from Cupid
and Mr. Haddlebird.
(sighs)
I guess there really wasn't
any other way, was there?
There's a stage depot
down the road a few miles.
You'll be able to get
a new start there.
As marriages go,
ours didn't last very long.
But it had its points.
Uh, Rowdy, uh...
the lady needs a driver.
Amen and pass the plate!
Uh, just a minute.
On second thought...
Toothless better do the honors.
Sure a lot safer.
Oh, yeah.
I'll, uh, take this along
just in case you get
any ideas again.
I ain't never had
no pictures took.
Well?
All right, come on, let's get
these things packed up.
Mushy!
Well, uh, shall I form the
cattle into platoons, Captain?
Or should we just charge 'em
right into Denver?
At ease, Private.
At ease.
Private?
Head 'em up!
Move 'em out!
♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
♪ Keep movin', movin', movin' ♪
♪ Though they're disapprovin' ♪
♪ Keep them dogies movin' ♪
♪ Rawhide! ♪
♪ Rawhide...! ♪
Hyah!
(whip cracks twice)