Raven's Home (2017–…): Season 5, Episode 13 - Munch Ado About Lunching - full transcript

Guess who.

Ted kleiner!
You came back!

Oh my gosh, I'm gonna have
to break up with my boyfriend

- so we can be together.
- Wow...

I see how it is.

I guess I'll have to find
someone else to give this to.

Check it out. I, um...

I got us necklaces
with our initials,

so people can c...

Who we B.

Is it real silver?



Come on, girl.
You know me.

Just don't get it wet.

I love it, Booker.

I love when you say my name.
Say it again.

- Booker!
- Don't say it like that.

Booker! Booker.

Now, what'd I say?
Next time you leave your project,

I'm not coming
to bring it to you.

You came down here
with my project

to tell me you're not
bringing me my project?

Dang it,
I am such a good mom.

Oh. What's that
around your neck?

That c better stand
for "chemistry."

- No, it, um, it stands for Cami.
- And I'm wearing a B for...



I get it. I
cracked the code. Thank you.

Mom, Cami's my girlfriend.

I'm sorry,
she's your what-what?

Baxter, what are you doing here?

You're a stay-at-home-mom.

Stay at home.

Oh, well, if I had a pantsuit
that looked like that, I would.

What is that around your neck?

- That B better stand for...
- It doesn't.

You're dating?

Cami, of all the people in
this school, you date a Baxter?

They're sneaky,
selfish, and fake.

Well, river as are shallow,
stuck-up, and...

And too short
to ride a roller coaster.

Oh, I can ride one!
I just don't want to!

Who doesn't wanna
ride a roller coaster?

Well, there are some people
that are allergic to heights!

Well, a-choos me.

- This is a disaster.
- You think so?

It's going way better
than I thought it would.

♪ Ha ha!
Let me tell you something ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

- ♪ But then life had other plans
- ♪ Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
Turn upside down ♪

♪ But you gotta get up
And take that chance ♪

- ♪ A new city, I'm finding my way
- ♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

- ♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
- ♪ You know I got it, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild
But you know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam caught up
In a crazy world, come on! ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ We get loud! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough But together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ When it's tough ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather
You know we gonna shine ♪

♪ There for each other
You know it's our time ♪

Yep, that's us.
*RAVEN'S HOME

Season 05 Episode 13
Episode Title: "Munch Ado About Lunching"

Aired on:
June 24, 2022.

Would you come on?

- Is your mom there?
- No.

- Is my mom there?
- No.

Man, nothing gets
between me and my girl.

Booker, how long
can we keep this up?

Just until graduation.

From college.

This is crazy. We have to
find a way to make this work.

I am so glad we figured out
this Booker and Cami situation.

Hey, what are you
doing tomorrow?

Uh, nothing. I'm totally free.

Perfect 'cause we're
having lunch with our moms.

Sorry, I forgot.
I'm actually busy

doing anything but that.

Cool! See you at noon!

Hoo...

Mm...

What you making, pop-pop?

My famous peach soufflé.

Tomorrow's my first day
back at the chill grill

since my heart attack,

and I just wanted to brush up
on some of my classics.

Looks so good!

Wish it smelled like peaches
when Booker does that.

I made that a million times.
I don't understand.

Well, it's just one soufflé.

Maybe I've been away
from the kitchen too long.

What if I lost my touch?

Hey, grandpa Vic.
I need your help.

I'm planning a lunch to get
mom and principal Rivera

to like each other.

Think you can whip up
a dish that says,

"now, what we fighting
about again?"

Are you kidding?

I can't even make
a lousy soufflé.

That's not true, pop-pop.

You just made a really
lousy soufflé!

Okay. What's the big emergency
I had to rush down here for?

How do you spell "delectable"?

That's it?
You couldn't have texted me?

How would I text you,
"how do you spell delectable?"

If I can't spell delectable?

Okay. D-e-I-e-c-table.

T-a-b-I-e.

What are you writing?

I can't tell you.

Can we skip the whole
"you try to keep a secret,

"I refuse to drop it,
you try to change the subject,

and I threaten to pour
water on your laptop" game,

and just tell me what
you're working on?

Fine!

You know San Francisco's
harshest food critic,

Melvin munch?

I'm him.

There's no way
you're Melvin munch.

Well, my uncle's
the actual Melvin,

but I'm writing
this week's column.

Yeah. I'm not supposed
to tell anyone,

but he's in Brazil
getting a butt lift.

That's awesome!

I know. He's going to
save a fortune on belts.

No, I meant that
you're writing the column.

Read it to me.

"There was a variety
of 'delectable'

"options on the menu.

The chef really tried.
I came hungry and left full."

No, that doesn't sound
anything like Melvin munch.

- Oh.
- You have to make it harsh.

Give it the old munch punch.

But I don't want to be mean
because I'm reviewing...

No, no, no, no, no.
It doesn't matter who you're reviewing.

It's not mean if it's honest.

- Hm.
- I should be writing this thing.

Ooh! I know! We'll get
your aunt to marry my uncle,

and then he'll be your uncle,

and then you could
cover for him! Huh!

Or I can just help you write it.

Alright.

But your aunt's
not getting any younger.

I'm headed to the store!

If you need anything,
get it yourself!

No, mom!

You can't go.

Why not?

Because...

Someone's here!
That's exciting.

What is really
going on right now?

This is for you!

Just a little
going-away present.

It's a fish.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

So, when are you leaving?

I can take you to the airport
right now if you want me to.

Alana, what are
you talking about?

I thought this was
a going-away party.

Where are your friends?

Oh. You don't have any.

Um, you told her it was
my mom's going-away party?

Yeah. I had to
think of something

she'd actually want to go to.

I hate to disappoint you, Alana,

but I'm not going anywhere,

so you can take this
back to the store.

I don't think the market
takes back used fish.

Cami, you said Raven
was leaving forever.

What is going on?

Okay, mom, Ms. Baxter...

We know that you
guys don't get along,

but Booker and I
really like each other.

Yeah. You know, and we brought
you guys down here to have lunch

and see if you could
Bury the hatchet.

I could think of somewhere

to Bury the hatchet.

Nobody burying the hatchet
but me. It's my house.

There's no hatchet.
Forget I said hatchet.

Let's just have lunch.

No, forget it.

- What are we gonna do?
- I have an idea.

Hey, mom.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about this lunch.

I didn't realize you'd be so...

Intimidated by principal Rivera.

Intimidated?

By her? No. She should be
intimidated by me.

I am not afraid
to have lunch with you.

I am a school principal.

I eat with people I don't
want to be around every day.

Well then, it looks like
we're having lunch then!

Looks like we are!

Let me go get you
a booster seat.

Sous vide chicken
on a bed of dandelions.

Now, that's farm-to-table.

Dandelions?

That sounds more like
lawnmower-to-table.

After yesterday's
soufflé fiasco,

I realized I need
to step up my game.

I can't have people thinking
Victor Baxter lost his edge.

Oh hey.

Try this.

Ice cream!

Yep.

Lentil ice cream
with an asparagus crumble.

That was... Unexpected.

That's what I'm going for.

Here.

It's on the house.

Okay, ahem,

"in conclusion, the entrées were
not what I thought they'd be,

but who doesn't
love a surprise?"

No, no, no.

Say this.

"The entrées were dreadful,

"and the only surprise is
that whoever cooked them

gets up in the morning
and calls himself a chef."

Woo. That's a gut punch.

It's a munch punch. Post it!

I just got an alert
that Milton munch

just posted his latest review.

I can't wait to see
what pathetic chump

he's taken down this week.

Oh no.

I can't believe it.

Melvin munch just
ripped the chill grill!

You reviewed the chill grill?

No.

We reviewed the chill grill!

B-but, we were mean!

We didn't pull
any munch punches!

You said it didn't matter
who we were reviewing

as long as we were being honest!

No, that's when I thought we
were writing about some ran do.

This is Mr. Baxter!

I can't believe you
got me into this.

I got you into this?

"The low light of the meal
is a chicken entrée

that tastes like
burnt hair and armpit"?

It's umami.

If anything,
it's got "hints" of armpit.

Are you okay?

I'm a professional, Alice.
I can take criticism.

Is someone chopping onions?

Someone's chopping onions!

Hey, Alice.

Uh, is he alright?

I mean, he looked pretty upset.

Some lousy food critic
made pop-pop cry.

I'm going to find them

and teach them what
armpit really tastes like.

Yeah, but nobody knows
who Melvin munch really is.

Well, I do know that
the review was posted

just a few minutes ago

from an ip address right
here in the restaurant.

Oh. Great.

Melvin munch must still be here.

Hm.

Alice is gonna expose us.

Relax. She's smart,

but I'm smarter.

Okay. So then, what's the plan?

Ah-da-da. Don't rush me.

Genius takes time.

You sure?

'Cause Alice came up
with a plan like that.

Principal Rivera,

I can't help but notice you
haven't touched your dino bites.

Perhaps the pizza nuggies
will be more to your liking.

Did you microwave
these all by yourself?

Why, yes, I did!
Thank you for noticing!

Alright, well,
my food's gone, so I'm gone.

Mom.

Please?

Mom, you've known
Ms. Baxter for a long time.

Surely there's one nice thing
you can think of to say.

Okay. Your house
doesn't look as cheap

as I remember.

- Cheap?!
- More Mac and cheese?

Say something nice
about principal Rivera.

You know, Alana? It's funny.

Every time I stand next
to you, I just feel so much...

Younger.

You telling me I look old?!

Tots! You both need more tots!

No! No, I do not need tots!

Alright?
I need to get out of here.

On second thought,
this is my house!

You need to get outta here!

I didn't want to come here
in the first place,

telling me I look old!

Yelling in Spanish...

I am so glad we figured out
this Booker and Cami situation.

On second thought! Alana,

can I talk to you in
the living room for a minute?

- I'm not going
anywhere with you.
- Fine, then you stay here.

You are not the boss of me.
I'm going to the living room.

should we let them go in there alone?

You wanna go in there with them?

You're right.
They'll be fine by themselves.

- Baxter, what do you want?
- Alana, listen, listen.

I know we don't agree
on a lot of things,

but I don't want our kids
together any more than you do.

No, I don't want our kids
together any more than you do.

- I just said that.
- No, I just said that...

Alana! Listen.

Shh.

- We have to break them up.
- I'm listening.

Okay, but we need to make
them think it's their idea.

We'll make them loathe each other
as much as we do.

That is not gonna be easy
because I really loathe you.

Aw. I loathe you, too.

Okay, munch.
Time to hack your laptop

and find proof
you wrote that review.

There we go.

Fake passports?

And loose jewelry?

This guy's not a food critic!

He's an international
Jewel thief!

I'm not getting
mixed up in this.

Gotcha now, munch.

Wait.

These are medical records.

Whoa.

This guy should really
cut back on the salt.

No, no, no...

Oh no...

I'm gonna be sick...

This app will analyze
today's review

to create a composite of
what munch really looks like.

Hm.

Thanks for letting me
use your laptop, Neil.

You gave her the laptop?

She took it.

In a matter of seconds,
I'll have my man.

This is not good.

Here it is!

Oh.

He's got two legs.

- So do I!
- Calm down.

Oh. And he's got two arms.

I'm done for.

Keep it together.

feast your eyes on Melvin munch!

Oh, I can't look.

Are you kidding me?!

- I am so sorry...
- Neil! Look.

This app is trash!

Sorry I wasted your
10 bucks on it, Neil.

You gave her the money?

She took it!

It's been 15 minutes.

- What do you think they're doing in there?
- Isn't it obvious?

They're bonding
and becoming best friends!

It's the pizza nuggies.

It's always the nuggies.

Girl, you are so right!

I don't know why we were
tripping in the first place!

- S-so you guys are getting along now?
- We can date?

Oh, of course you can.

I wouldn't want to stand
in the way of true love.

But you stand in
the way of everything.

That was the old me.

Raven and I talked,
and we decided we haven't been fair.

Yeah,
but if you're gonna date,

we should really
get to know each other.

Awesome. What do
you wanna know?

Um, I don't know. Oh!
Do you have any pets?

Yes! I have a cat
named snookeyboots.

What? What?

- Booker hates cats, don't you, Booker?
- You do?

Hate is a strong word.
You know,

I just don't like
the way they look

or smell or steal your
breath while you sleep.

Oh, they can get over that,
right, Bobby?

It-it's Booker.

Oh. Bobby was her
last boyfriend,

or, wait, was that
the one before...

Mom!

- How many befores were there?
- Couldn't tell you.

Once this girl gets bored,
they're gone.

But she never got bored of Ash.

- Ash? Who's Ash?
- Ash is nobody.

Nobody whose name you wanted
to get tattooed on your ankle.

- Did you?
- N-no!

Woo!

Woo! That "no" sounded
like a strong "maybe"!

Cami, can we talk alone, please?

- I think that's a good idea.
- Why? Where you going?

What happened?
What happened?

What happened?!

- I can't believe this.
- I know.

Do you really hate cats?

Is that where we're starting?

We're starting with cats?
What about Bobby and ash?

Oh, oh, and Ted kleiner.
Did you date him, too?

I can't believe I forgot
about Ted kleiner!

I don't even know why my mom
is bringing up these names.

It's like she's trying
to cause problems.

I know. It's like they came
in here hating each other,

and now they're BFFS.

And now, they're laughing?

I am so glad we figured out
this Booker and Cami situation.

Mm-hmm.

I think keeping us apart is
what brought them together.

Alice, what are you doing?

I've been going
about this all wrong.

Melvin munch specifically
reviewed the chicken.

I'll just check pop-pops tickets
and see who ordered it!

That'll lead me right to him.

My ticket's in there,
and I ordered the chicken.

Distract her.

Hey, Alice. Uh,

did I ever tell you that
I am double-jointed? Yeah.

Check this out.

Are you sure
you're double-jointed?

No, I'm not.

Yes! Got him!

Oh, I'm dead.

Relax. I got your ticket.

Thanks, Ivy.

So, whose ticket
does Alice have?

Confess, munch.
You wrote that review.

You are what you eat,
you chicken!

What is going on out here?

I found Melvin munch!
Get your car, pop-pop.

He's on the run!
He won't get far on foot!

It doesn't matter.

That review is
all over the Internet.

My career is over.

No, it isn't.

You're an amazing chef.

I don't know.

Neil, you had the chicken.

Be honest. What did you think?

Wait. Neil...

You had the chicken?

I, uh...

Uh...

What was the question again?

Melvin munch was right.

I am a hack.

No, Melvin munch was not right.

How do you know?

Yeah, Neil.

How do you know?

Because I'm Melvin munch.

What?

Well... I'm impressed.

You almost had me.

You're a worthy adversary.

Him?

The only reason
he didn't get caught

was because I was one step
ahead of you the whole time.

He couldn't even write
that review without me.

I'm the worthy adversary.

Are you?

Because I just got
you to confess.

Dang it.

I'm really sorry, Mr. Baxter.

Why would you guys do that?
I thought you liked my food.

We do! We love it!

But, the stuff you
cooked today, it...

It just didn't taste
like the chill grill.

Well, I guess I did
go a little overboard

trying to prove to people
that I still got it.

And I went overboard
trying to be Melvin munch.

And I'm an innocent that got
pulled into Neil's web of lies.

Again, I am very sorry.

It's okay, Neil.

I guess we were both trying

to be someone that we're not.

Mr. B,

as my last official act
as Melvin munch,

I'm gonna rewrite
my review of the chill grill.

And I'm going to help.

Nope! Not falling
for that again.

I guess we finally found
common ground after all.

Just so happens to be the ground

where our kids'
relationship is buried.

I can't believe you just
said that about my mom!

All I said was that
she's controlling,

overbearing, and kind of insane.

Well, what about your mom?
You know she meddles so much,

she could win
a gold medal in meddling.

My mom is just trying
to look out for me.

Alright,
that's something I thought
my girlfriend would do.

And I thought my boyfriend
would always have my back.

- I guess I was wrong.
- I know I was.

Maybe we shouldn't
be together after all.

Oh, Booker.

Are you happy, mom?

You were right.

We did it! Up high, Baxter.

You just gonna leave me hanging?

We just broke them up.

Yeah, but I don't feel
so good about it now.

I mean, Booker's really upset,
and so is Cami.

So you wanna get
them back together?

You wanna spend
Thanksgiving at my house

for the next 20 years?

No, then I'd be crying.

Alright. Well,
I'm just glad it's over.

No, I'm glad it's over.

- I'm not doing this with you.
- I'm not doing this with you!

Get out!

And take your fish!

I think they bought it.

You, sir, are quite the actor.

And you are
a great leading lady.

They gave us no choice.

We're gonna have to keep
our relationship a secret.

Yeah. My mom's gonna kill me if
she finds out I'm lying to her.

Mine, too.

Totally worth it.