Ramy (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 8 - Episode #3.8 - full transcript
He was on drugs, on the streets,
begging so he can buy
more drugs.
But one day, when he was
searching for his next high,
he found what he was
truly seeking...
The most high.
In the name of Allah,
the most gracious,
the most merciful,
he's the world's
most popular sheikh,
with over 11 million
online followers,
the CEO of JustZam,
the only water
straight out of Mecca,
with added electrolytes.
He's tonight's keynote speaker
of this very conference.
Let's hear a big Takbeer
for Abu Bakar Miller!
Allahu Akbar!
Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
Bismillah.
This flame may hurt now...
But it is nothing
compared to the eternal hellfire
for those who do not submit.
Takbeer. Allahu Akbar!
Takbeer.
Allahu Akbar!
Takbeer!
Allahu Akbar!
We've connected today...
over our love for our deen...
In the spirit of giving.
And speaking of giving,
we are accepting donations
to the Believe Institute.
To make this easier,
we have created an amazing app.
We call it InstaZakat.
If you verify your bank,
you can give unlimited donations
to any Islamic organization.
And I...
have been crafting this talk
since Ramadan...
When I was deep into cave mode.
And I've entitled it
"The Quran
is the Original Block chain."
You know why?
Because it is.
But first, I have a surprise.
Let's give
a warm New Jersey welcome
to the Halal Brothers!
A man and a woman
are never alone.
There's always
an unseen presence.
If you're married, it's God.
If you're not,
it's the devil.
Show me the proof
for the vaccine.
Show me the trials.
Show me the trials.
This is a...
Lying to the people
under Allah's eyes.
Under Allah's eyes, you lie.
I don't...
I mean, I have a vaccine card.
It's a fake one.
I got it from this boy
in the East Village,
but it's another story.
But you don't need anything.
All you need is this.
See? Huh?
I'm clean.
Get your finger off the table.
Yo, dude,
I don't really fit in here.
No, dude, you're perfect.
Listen,
everyone's gonna come up.
They're gonna try
and convert you.
Then they're gonna see
the jewelry and buy stuff.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
No, no, it... it's great.
Okay, but how you are gonna
get to the Great White Sheikh?
Shadi's gonna get me in,
and, uh,
I'm gonna show him this.
If we can get him wearing it,
sales will go nuts today.
It'll be fucking
through the roof.
- Yeah.
- Allah's a good man.
You want something to drink?
Uh, the JustZam stuff
is really good.
- I can't. I'm fasting.
- I dropped the family tefillin.
It's an old rule
where you drop a scroll,
you gotta fast for 40 days.
It sucks.
I'm only on day three,
but I honestly think
my stretchmarks
might be going away.
Do I look thinner?
Um...
- Hey, cousin.
- The bar mitzvah's next door.
- Can I have a minute, please?
- Yeah.
- I need Mo Jr.
- In the right head space.
Come on, hug your uncle.
Come on. Give your uncle a hug.
- What's, uh... what's going on?
- Head space for what?
He's in the main event.
It's the Quran recitation...
Quranic Kids.
Uh, he's gonna go up there
and recite different parts
of the surah,
and then they, uh, score him
based off his pronunciation,
his... his tajweed,
and, uh, you know, his voice.
Gotta make sure it's a nice
voice, yeah, right, buddy?
It's, like, basically like
American Idol
but, you know, for Quran.
Is the Quran supposed
to be competitive like that?
If we get top three,
we get a free hajj trip
for the whole family, okay,
plus a PS5.
Why you putting so much
pressure on him, dude?
You don't even memorize
the Quran.
If he memorizes it,
it's like I memorized it.
God accepts the good deeds
of our children on our behalf.
All right, if you make them
better than you,
it's like I did it too.
Yeah, that sounds like
a really healthy relationship.
- Come on, let's warm up.
- Let's do Fatiha.
What is this, bro?
It's...
You're saying...
I mean, how many times
do we have to go over this?
It's okay, habibi.
Come on, man.
- Sorry, baba.
- Really, it's basics.
Yeah, I'll meet you guys
at the recital.
All right.
Look, I respect
the steps forward
you've taken to come here,
you know?
- It's really amazing.
- Thank you.
But I think you need
the Quran in your life.
I think you stopped too short,
you know?
Stopped with Moses.
Moses is amazing.
We love Moses.
Moses is a beloved prophet.
- Yes.
- But there's other prophets
that you should really
look into, you know?
Let's not start with Jesus,
bring up old wounds.
You know what I'm saying?
This could help you out.
Here. Read the Quran, hmm?
This is really nice.
I like this.
- What size ring are you?
- I'm a 13.
Salaam alaikum.
I said salaam alaikum.
Yeah, it doesn't really feel
like you're
wishing peace upon me.
What are you doing backstage?
You're talking to Abu Bakar,
right?
I'm doing business,
just like you.
How dare you?
You know this is
my best event all year.
There's enough room
for both of us.
You don't have to get
so competitive.
- No, there isn't.
- You took the best spot, A17.
I'm down by D34,
next to the female
genital mutilation booth.
And you know what?
They're taking all my shine.
Well, it's an important issue.
It's happening
all over the world.
I'll fucking mutilate you.
- Okay.
- Look, I-I gotta go.
I hope everything's good
for you, in shall ah.
- Hey, don't...
- Don't "in shall ah" me,
you little piece of shit.
You know, you...
You think you can be
a good Muslim for one day
and then Allah's gonna forget
about all the bad things
you've done?
Brothers and sisters,
make your way to the main stage
for the Sufi Center
of North Jersey,
presented by Sheikha Khadijah
and Zainab Malik.
I repeat, please make your way
to the main stage
for the Sufi Center
of North Jersey.
As humans, we must
be taught everything we know.
Running comes naturally to us,
but in order to run properly,
we have to be taught.
Uh, instinctively,
we move in ways that are...
inefficient
or cause us to get hurt.
To be a good runner,
we must learn from someone
who knows how to run.
We must learn from a runner.
Um, even standing...
Standing is one of the most
natural things we do,
and yet most of us don't know
how to stand properly.
So to stand correctly,
which is to have your knee
bent slightly so you get
a good center of gravity
and good circulation,
isn't something
most of us know naturally.
We have to be taught.
This is also true
when it comes to... the heart.
In our schools, we are taught
the heart physically,
but we have to be taught
how to navigate the heart
in the unseen.
This is a space
we strive to create
at the Sufi Center
of North Jersey.
So now here we are,
asking if you may support
our center
however Allah allows you to,
to support my father,
Sheikh Malik,
and Sheikha Khadijah,
a teacher of the heart.
Our center has faced
some difficulties recently.
Uh, some years ago,
we accepted donations
from a particular individual
whose funds are currently
under investigation,
which has put us
under investigation.
I heard about this.
They're under investigation
for taking money
from some Emirati guy.
What to look for, we know how...
- Really?
- FBI. Poor woman.
- To know yourself...
- Poor and alone.
This is to know God.
It's one flipping music cue,
and you've messed it up
twice already.
I am sponsoring your visa,
for Allah's sake.
Sheikh, I-I'm sorry.
The... the Halal dudes, they sent
me their tracks last-minute,
and... and... and the soundboard
I'm using,
it was different
than the one I'm used to.
Different from the one
you're used to DJ'ing
to kaffirs in the East Village
or in the flipping
boat shack in Cairo?
- Sheikh...
- 'Cause I will pull your visa
faster than you can eat
a can of fuul.
You got me?
Yo. Yo.
Ramy, this really isn't
the time, bro.
Salaam alaikum, brother.
Keefak?
Shadi. Yes.
Out.
Uh, alaikum al-salaam,
Sheikh Abu Bakar.
It's, uh... it's so good
to meet you.
My name's Ramy.
I just wanted to come here
and tell you
that what you did out there
was one of the most beautiful
things I've ever experienced.
It was so... spiritual.
I am humbled.
Al-humbled-Allah.
I spent many years of tafkeer
honing my vibe.
And... and your vibe
seems really honed.
But I, uh... I thought maybe
I could give you a gift
that could, uh,
add to it a little bit.
Ma shall ah.
This is beautiful.
Thank you, Sheikh.
Uh, it's for my company,
M-Maktoub Jewelers.
And we'd be honored
if you ever wanted...
So it's 100 grand
for a promo post.
Or we can do a 70-30 split
on any sales
directly linked to my Instagram.
And then all the proceeds
just go
to the Believe Institute,
of course.
Yeah, I-I can't do more
than do 20%.
In shall ah.
Look at us.
Negotiating like a couple
of merchants in Medina.
In shall ah, my brother.
But you gotta give me the 20%.
Feel me?
- Yeah.
- I don't call you.
You call me. You hear me?
Yeah, yeah. I call you.
I don't wanna
have to look you up.
Yeah. In shall ah.
It's asr. Let's pray.
Um...
I'm, uh...
W-W-What are you doing?
We'll do a little
Instagram Live,
'cause you gotta pray
with the ummah.
Yo, yo, yo, yo!
Salaam alaikum,
my brothers and sisters.
It's Sheikh AB, and I'm back.
I'm back at you
with a very special
companion here right now.
So without further "wudu,"
I'm bringing you Ramy.
He's the owner
of Maktoub Jewelry.
And my brother Ramy
has gifted me some ice.
Look at that. That's beautiful.
Ma shall ah, brother.
Why don't you tell people
where you source
your beautiful stones from?
- The stones are from...
- From the Middle East.
Subhanallah.
Sacred ice
from the sacred desert land.
Man, you are special.
You are special.
Why don't you lead the prayer?
You... you want me to lead?
A good imam
knows how to follow the youth.
Ah.
Allahu Akbar.
Disgusting, huh?
Hi, Zainab.
Uh, salaam, Sheikha.
I-I'm a very big fan.
- Alaikum al-salaam.
- Hi.
On behalf of our whole family,
uh, condolences
on what Ramy did to you.
He hasn't told us what happened,
but, huh, a quick divorce
like that,
it could only be because of him.
Um, can I please talk to you?
- I'm busy.
- Just a moment of privacy.
Um, I-I have a certain
problem I need help with.
Yes, that's been clear.
I know... I know I come off
a certain way.
But really, I'm just... I've been
feeling a lot of anger lately,
and I need someone to talk to,
someone to help me understand.
Okay, well, I can't help you
with your problems.
I really don't know
anyone who could.
Obviously not you.
Your father.
I need a curse lifted.
- He is not here right now.
- He's in the Gambia.
- Come on, Zainab.
- We're on the same side.
Ramy's the devil.
I have worked very hard
to not be in contact
with your family,
and it's not even about that.
I haven't even talked to my dad.
There's a lot we disagree on
at the moment,
and he is off the grid.
He's fasting and praying.
- Can he Zoom?
- What?
Everyone Zooms.
Zoom isn't going
to break your fast.
No, you can't Zoom with him.
I'm sorry.
Bismillah.
Thank you.
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
Next up,
we have Mohammad Aziz II.
- Let's go, Mo Jr.!
- You got this in the bag!
Clutch time, baby! Arab Mamba!
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
Uh, salaam alaikum, Sheikha.
Alaikum al-salaam.
I-I saw you speaking earlier.
Ma shall ah. It was beautiful.
Thank you, sidi.
- I wanted to talk to Zainab.
- I'm actually her...
I know who you are.
I'm sorry. She's not here.
Okay, it's just... just,
I-I wanna make
a donation to the center.
I-I know that you're struggling.
And I-I've been trying
to call Zainab.
I-I really only...
I just wanna tell her
that I'm sorry, and... and...
The greatest forgiver is Allah.
In shall ah,
everything in due time.
Salaam alaikum.
Are you able to donate today?
Uh, what...
What... what... what... what is this?
- I know.
- It's horrible to look at.
Khaled's case was one
of the most shocking ones.
He was arrested under
completely false circumstances.
- He... he... he's...
- He's still arrested now?
Like, they... they... they...
They have him now, arrested?
They've held him
under the charge of robbery.
No one even knows what he stole.
They use whatever they can
to take our kids.
- This is not... it's not right.
- There's, um... there's a mistake.
I know. We're trying to get
his case international...
No, you don't understand.
No, it's fucking...
It's fucked up.
There's a fucking mistake,
and I'm... I'm fucking...
I...
Ayala, Ayala, I need you
to call me back, okay?
Call me, 'cause we... there's...
It's... it's not about business,
but there's something...
You gotta call... we gotta talk.
Just please fucking...
What is that?
I'm in SLAA.
I didn't wanna tell you
'cause I didn't wanna
freak you out,
but I am a sex addict.
I got one week.
They gave me this token.
I'm not sure it's legit.
He gives out tokens
all the time.
I saw him give a guy a token
for being sober for 15 minutes.
It's like, who's he gonna fuck,
the guy giving out the tokens?
But it's been good for me,
you know?
Trying to keep it
straight and narrow.
Today was awesome,
being around all you Muslims.
Like, seeing the beautiful
communities
and the families,
it's like how I felt
on Shabbat, you know?
And when those kids
started reciting, man,
oh, my God,
it fucking rocked me.
Yeah.
I think I saw some signs.
- What... what...
- What kind of signs?
Just, like,
to reconnect, you know?
To, like, really, like...
get back in it.
And I just keep thinking
about what we're doing.
Fucking rolling up
and selling to Sheikh Eminem?
Starting to feel
really immoral, you know?
Starting to feel bad.
I don't know,
I thought us working together
was gonna be different.
You know, I thought, "Well",
"I'm searching for God,
and he's searching for God,
"and it's Jews and Muslims
working together.
It's a beautiful thing."
But, dude, I mean, we're so
fucking caught up in the money.
It's just bad now.
It's just bad, bad.
I have to get out.
- Yuval, like, you...
- You're the one who got me in.
How... how are you
getting out of this?
I'm sorry that I got you in.
But I-I'm... I'm done.
I'm done, man.
Dude, Ay...
Selim and... and Ayala
are... are gonna lose their shit,
all right?
You... you got a bunch of shit
that you gotta sell,
and... and you have
to get the money
by the weekend, all right?
Th-they'll...
They'll fuck you up, dude.
So... so please, just...
I-I think you're fasting
and you haven't eaten,
and you just gotta go home
and get some food, man.
Just... just get something.
You know, when you drop
the tefillin,
they say it's God telling you
that you've done wrong.
Dude, I know,
I know he's trying to tell me
that this isn't the move.
This business is not good.
I missed the first sign,
when he cut off
my fucking finger,
because I was too busy
eating pussy and eating ass.
But I got one week,
and I'm gonna try
to get another.
I'm looking for some, like,
really spiritual shit right now.
I'm sorry to leave you.
I really am.
What... what do you want me
to do with this, man?
Just don't forget me, man.
Please don't forget me.
Hey.
Are... are you leaving
for the night?
You just missed me, babe.
I'm sure you can go see
one of my colleagues.
No, I don't... I don't
wanna see a colleague.
It's not like H&R Block
or something.
I-I-I came to see you.
Are you... um, could we, like,
hang, uh, outside of here?
Uh, what's up with the car?
It's... it's vintage.
See, I don't really
do house calls, so...
Come on, look,
I'll... I'll... I'll pay you extra.
Like... very extra.
You gonna get the car door
for me?
'Cause I'm not really
a off-the-street kind of girl.
Could we, uh, try something?
What kind of thing?
Some things cost extra.
Like, hitting?
Depends. Who's hitting who?
You hitting me.
Oh, same price.
Like...
harder.
Now do it again.
Try this.
It's a plant, kanna.
It's natural.
It'll help you...
get rid of the stress
in your chest.
Don't worry.
I give it to sober guys.
This past Christmas,
our family... some of our family
gathered in Camp David,
and my brother gave us
bed nets as a Christmas gift.
I can do the same thing
here in America.
You can make
an individual contribution
to save somebody's life.
It's actually crazy
that these documentaries
are just right there,
right under our eyes,
It's part
of how the empire works.
They let it exist lo-fi,
floating around.
They make you feel that if it
was real, they'd delete it,
as if to say, like, "How could
the truth be out there?"
But it is out there.
They're under investigation
for taking money
from some Emirati guy.
Which has put us
under investigation.
I can hear you!
Khaled's case was one
of the most shocking ones.
He was arrested
under completely false
circumstances.
It was totally unjustified.
Help kids in Africa because
it's the right thing to do.
Shazaam!
They use whatever
they can to take our kids.
You could have spoken to Ramy.
What is the point of Diet Coke
if you're gonna have Pop-Tarts?
Zainab, the time
is fast approaching.
Pretty soon,
you'll have to talk to him.
You can't let this thing
hang over you forever.
He doesn't deserve
to talk to me.
He doesn't deserve anything.
He's a bad person.
I'm not saying he's not a man
of inconsistencies
or hypocrisies.
I eat Pop-Tarts.
But I also drink Diet Coke.
Bismillah.
This is not
a Pop-Tart situation.
I know.
But he came looking for you.
He paid your mehr.
As your sheikha,
I'm telling you,
you need to call him.
The decision isn't about you
alone anymore.
Let's pray fajr.
I need to take her
upstairs anyway.
Shh.
Ma shall ah.
Yo.
What?
Dude, it's, like,
5:00 in the morning, man.
Which is the best
time to play PlayStation.
Mo Jr.'s asleep.
Eman's asleep.
Hanan's asleep.
Who?
Get it together, man.
I need someone to play with.
Boo my?
Boo my.
Boom!
- Let me call...
- Let me call you back.
Boom!
Boo my! Boo my!
What...
Boom... Boom!
Fuck!
She isn't breathing.
She got into the cocaine
when she was trying
to get the food.
Oh, shit.
Give her the magical water.
Take it. Take it.
begging so he can buy
more drugs.
But one day, when he was
searching for his next high,
he found what he was
truly seeking...
The most high.
In the name of Allah,
the most gracious,
the most merciful,
he's the world's
most popular sheikh,
with over 11 million
online followers,
the CEO of JustZam,
the only water
straight out of Mecca,
with added electrolytes.
He's tonight's keynote speaker
of this very conference.
Let's hear a big Takbeer
for Abu Bakar Miller!
Allahu Akbar!
Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
Bismillah.
This flame may hurt now...
But it is nothing
compared to the eternal hellfire
for those who do not submit.
Takbeer. Allahu Akbar!
Takbeer.
Allahu Akbar!
Takbeer!
Allahu Akbar!
We've connected today...
over our love for our deen...
In the spirit of giving.
And speaking of giving,
we are accepting donations
to the Believe Institute.
To make this easier,
we have created an amazing app.
We call it InstaZakat.
If you verify your bank,
you can give unlimited donations
to any Islamic organization.
And I...
have been crafting this talk
since Ramadan...
When I was deep into cave mode.
And I've entitled it
"The Quran
is the Original Block chain."
You know why?
Because it is.
But first, I have a surprise.
Let's give
a warm New Jersey welcome
to the Halal Brothers!
A man and a woman
are never alone.
There's always
an unseen presence.
If you're married, it's God.
If you're not,
it's the devil.
Show me the proof
for the vaccine.
Show me the trials.
Show me the trials.
This is a...
Lying to the people
under Allah's eyes.
Under Allah's eyes, you lie.
I don't...
I mean, I have a vaccine card.
It's a fake one.
I got it from this boy
in the East Village,
but it's another story.
But you don't need anything.
All you need is this.
See? Huh?
I'm clean.
Get your finger off the table.
Yo, dude,
I don't really fit in here.
No, dude, you're perfect.
Listen,
everyone's gonna come up.
They're gonna try
and convert you.
Then they're gonna see
the jewelry and buy stuff.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
No, no, it... it's great.
Okay, but how you are gonna
get to the Great White Sheikh?
Shadi's gonna get me in,
and, uh,
I'm gonna show him this.
If we can get him wearing it,
sales will go nuts today.
It'll be fucking
through the roof.
- Yeah.
- Allah's a good man.
You want something to drink?
Uh, the JustZam stuff
is really good.
- I can't. I'm fasting.
- I dropped the family tefillin.
It's an old rule
where you drop a scroll,
you gotta fast for 40 days.
It sucks.
I'm only on day three,
but I honestly think
my stretchmarks
might be going away.
Do I look thinner?
Um...
- Hey, cousin.
- The bar mitzvah's next door.
- Can I have a minute, please?
- Yeah.
- I need Mo Jr.
- In the right head space.
Come on, hug your uncle.
Come on. Give your uncle a hug.
- What's, uh... what's going on?
- Head space for what?
He's in the main event.
It's the Quran recitation...
Quranic Kids.
Uh, he's gonna go up there
and recite different parts
of the surah,
and then they, uh, score him
based off his pronunciation,
his... his tajweed,
and, uh, you know, his voice.
Gotta make sure it's a nice
voice, yeah, right, buddy?
It's, like, basically like
American Idol
but, you know, for Quran.
Is the Quran supposed
to be competitive like that?
If we get top three,
we get a free hajj trip
for the whole family, okay,
plus a PS5.
Why you putting so much
pressure on him, dude?
You don't even memorize
the Quran.
If he memorizes it,
it's like I memorized it.
God accepts the good deeds
of our children on our behalf.
All right, if you make them
better than you,
it's like I did it too.
Yeah, that sounds like
a really healthy relationship.
- Come on, let's warm up.
- Let's do Fatiha.
What is this, bro?
It's...
You're saying...
I mean, how many times
do we have to go over this?
It's okay, habibi.
Come on, man.
- Sorry, baba.
- Really, it's basics.
Yeah, I'll meet you guys
at the recital.
All right.
Look, I respect
the steps forward
you've taken to come here,
you know?
- It's really amazing.
- Thank you.
But I think you need
the Quran in your life.
I think you stopped too short,
you know?
Stopped with Moses.
Moses is amazing.
We love Moses.
Moses is a beloved prophet.
- Yes.
- But there's other prophets
that you should really
look into, you know?
Let's not start with Jesus,
bring up old wounds.
You know what I'm saying?
This could help you out.
Here. Read the Quran, hmm?
This is really nice.
I like this.
- What size ring are you?
- I'm a 13.
Salaam alaikum.
I said salaam alaikum.
Yeah, it doesn't really feel
like you're
wishing peace upon me.
What are you doing backstage?
You're talking to Abu Bakar,
right?
I'm doing business,
just like you.
How dare you?
You know this is
my best event all year.
There's enough room
for both of us.
You don't have to get
so competitive.
- No, there isn't.
- You took the best spot, A17.
I'm down by D34,
next to the female
genital mutilation booth.
And you know what?
They're taking all my shine.
Well, it's an important issue.
It's happening
all over the world.
I'll fucking mutilate you.
- Okay.
- Look, I-I gotta go.
I hope everything's good
for you, in shall ah.
- Hey, don't...
- Don't "in shall ah" me,
you little piece of shit.
You know, you...
You think you can be
a good Muslim for one day
and then Allah's gonna forget
about all the bad things
you've done?
Brothers and sisters,
make your way to the main stage
for the Sufi Center
of North Jersey,
presented by Sheikha Khadijah
and Zainab Malik.
I repeat, please make your way
to the main stage
for the Sufi Center
of North Jersey.
As humans, we must
be taught everything we know.
Running comes naturally to us,
but in order to run properly,
we have to be taught.
Uh, instinctively,
we move in ways that are...
inefficient
or cause us to get hurt.
To be a good runner,
we must learn from someone
who knows how to run.
We must learn from a runner.
Um, even standing...
Standing is one of the most
natural things we do,
and yet most of us don't know
how to stand properly.
So to stand correctly,
which is to have your knee
bent slightly so you get
a good center of gravity
and good circulation,
isn't something
most of us know naturally.
We have to be taught.
This is also true
when it comes to... the heart.
In our schools, we are taught
the heart physically,
but we have to be taught
how to navigate the heart
in the unseen.
This is a space
we strive to create
at the Sufi Center
of North Jersey.
So now here we are,
asking if you may support
our center
however Allah allows you to,
to support my father,
Sheikh Malik,
and Sheikha Khadijah,
a teacher of the heart.
Our center has faced
some difficulties recently.
Uh, some years ago,
we accepted donations
from a particular individual
whose funds are currently
under investigation,
which has put us
under investigation.
I heard about this.
They're under investigation
for taking money
from some Emirati guy.
What to look for, we know how...
- Really?
- FBI. Poor woman.
- To know yourself...
- Poor and alone.
This is to know God.
It's one flipping music cue,
and you've messed it up
twice already.
I am sponsoring your visa,
for Allah's sake.
Sheikh, I-I'm sorry.
The... the Halal dudes, they sent
me their tracks last-minute,
and... and... and the soundboard
I'm using,
it was different
than the one I'm used to.
Different from the one
you're used to DJ'ing
to kaffirs in the East Village
or in the flipping
boat shack in Cairo?
- Sheikh...
- 'Cause I will pull your visa
faster than you can eat
a can of fuul.
You got me?
Yo. Yo.
Ramy, this really isn't
the time, bro.
Salaam alaikum, brother.
Keefak?
Shadi. Yes.
Out.
Uh, alaikum al-salaam,
Sheikh Abu Bakar.
It's, uh... it's so good
to meet you.
My name's Ramy.
I just wanted to come here
and tell you
that what you did out there
was one of the most beautiful
things I've ever experienced.
It was so... spiritual.
I am humbled.
Al-humbled-Allah.
I spent many years of tafkeer
honing my vibe.
And... and your vibe
seems really honed.
But I, uh... I thought maybe
I could give you a gift
that could, uh,
add to it a little bit.
Ma shall ah.
This is beautiful.
Thank you, Sheikh.
Uh, it's for my company,
M-Maktoub Jewelers.
And we'd be honored
if you ever wanted...
So it's 100 grand
for a promo post.
Or we can do a 70-30 split
on any sales
directly linked to my Instagram.
And then all the proceeds
just go
to the Believe Institute,
of course.
Yeah, I-I can't do more
than do 20%.
In shall ah.
Look at us.
Negotiating like a couple
of merchants in Medina.
In shall ah, my brother.
But you gotta give me the 20%.
Feel me?
- Yeah.
- I don't call you.
You call me. You hear me?
Yeah, yeah. I call you.
I don't wanna
have to look you up.
Yeah. In shall ah.
It's asr. Let's pray.
Um...
I'm, uh...
W-W-What are you doing?
We'll do a little
Instagram Live,
'cause you gotta pray
with the ummah.
Yo, yo, yo, yo!
Salaam alaikum,
my brothers and sisters.
It's Sheikh AB, and I'm back.
I'm back at you
with a very special
companion here right now.
So without further "wudu,"
I'm bringing you Ramy.
He's the owner
of Maktoub Jewelry.
And my brother Ramy
has gifted me some ice.
Look at that. That's beautiful.
Ma shall ah, brother.
Why don't you tell people
where you source
your beautiful stones from?
- The stones are from...
- From the Middle East.
Subhanallah.
Sacred ice
from the sacred desert land.
Man, you are special.
You are special.
Why don't you lead the prayer?
You... you want me to lead?
A good imam
knows how to follow the youth.
Ah.
Allahu Akbar.
Disgusting, huh?
Hi, Zainab.
Uh, salaam, Sheikha.
I-I'm a very big fan.
- Alaikum al-salaam.
- Hi.
On behalf of our whole family,
uh, condolences
on what Ramy did to you.
He hasn't told us what happened,
but, huh, a quick divorce
like that,
it could only be because of him.
Um, can I please talk to you?
- I'm busy.
- Just a moment of privacy.
Um, I-I have a certain
problem I need help with.
Yes, that's been clear.
I know... I know I come off
a certain way.
But really, I'm just... I've been
feeling a lot of anger lately,
and I need someone to talk to,
someone to help me understand.
Okay, well, I can't help you
with your problems.
I really don't know
anyone who could.
Obviously not you.
Your father.
I need a curse lifted.
- He is not here right now.
- He's in the Gambia.
- Come on, Zainab.
- We're on the same side.
Ramy's the devil.
I have worked very hard
to not be in contact
with your family,
and it's not even about that.
I haven't even talked to my dad.
There's a lot we disagree on
at the moment,
and he is off the grid.
He's fasting and praying.
- Can he Zoom?
- What?
Everyone Zooms.
Zoom isn't going
to break your fast.
No, you can't Zoom with him.
I'm sorry.
Bismillah.
Thank you.
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
Next up,
we have Mohammad Aziz II.
- Let's go, Mo Jr.!
- You got this in the bag!
Clutch time, baby! Arab Mamba!
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
- Takbeer!
- Allahu Akbar!
Uh, salaam alaikum, Sheikha.
Alaikum al-salaam.
I-I saw you speaking earlier.
Ma shall ah. It was beautiful.
Thank you, sidi.
- I wanted to talk to Zainab.
- I'm actually her...
I know who you are.
I'm sorry. She's not here.
Okay, it's just... just,
I-I wanna make
a donation to the center.
I-I know that you're struggling.
And I-I've been trying
to call Zainab.
I-I really only...
I just wanna tell her
that I'm sorry, and... and...
The greatest forgiver is Allah.
In shall ah,
everything in due time.
Salaam alaikum.
Are you able to donate today?
Uh, what...
What... what... what... what is this?
- I know.
- It's horrible to look at.
Khaled's case was one
of the most shocking ones.
He was arrested under
completely false circumstances.
- He... he... he's...
- He's still arrested now?
Like, they... they... they...
They have him now, arrested?
They've held him
under the charge of robbery.
No one even knows what he stole.
They use whatever they can
to take our kids.
- This is not... it's not right.
- There's, um... there's a mistake.
I know. We're trying to get
his case international...
No, you don't understand.
No, it's fucking...
It's fucked up.
There's a fucking mistake,
and I'm... I'm fucking...
I...
Ayala, Ayala, I need you
to call me back, okay?
Call me, 'cause we... there's...
It's... it's not about business,
but there's something...
You gotta call... we gotta talk.
Just please fucking...
What is that?
I'm in SLAA.
I didn't wanna tell you
'cause I didn't wanna
freak you out,
but I am a sex addict.
I got one week.
They gave me this token.
I'm not sure it's legit.
He gives out tokens
all the time.
I saw him give a guy a token
for being sober for 15 minutes.
It's like, who's he gonna fuck,
the guy giving out the tokens?
But it's been good for me,
you know?
Trying to keep it
straight and narrow.
Today was awesome,
being around all you Muslims.
Like, seeing the beautiful
communities
and the families,
it's like how I felt
on Shabbat, you know?
And when those kids
started reciting, man,
oh, my God,
it fucking rocked me.
Yeah.
I think I saw some signs.
- What... what...
- What kind of signs?
Just, like,
to reconnect, you know?
To, like, really, like...
get back in it.
And I just keep thinking
about what we're doing.
Fucking rolling up
and selling to Sheikh Eminem?
Starting to feel
really immoral, you know?
Starting to feel bad.
I don't know,
I thought us working together
was gonna be different.
You know, I thought, "Well",
"I'm searching for God,
and he's searching for God,
"and it's Jews and Muslims
working together.
It's a beautiful thing."
But, dude, I mean, we're so
fucking caught up in the money.
It's just bad now.
It's just bad, bad.
I have to get out.
- Yuval, like, you...
- You're the one who got me in.
How... how are you
getting out of this?
I'm sorry that I got you in.
But I-I'm... I'm done.
I'm done, man.
Dude, Ay...
Selim and... and Ayala
are... are gonna lose their shit,
all right?
You... you got a bunch of shit
that you gotta sell,
and... and you have
to get the money
by the weekend, all right?
Th-they'll...
They'll fuck you up, dude.
So... so please, just...
I-I think you're fasting
and you haven't eaten,
and you just gotta go home
and get some food, man.
Just... just get something.
You know, when you drop
the tefillin,
they say it's God telling you
that you've done wrong.
Dude, I know,
I know he's trying to tell me
that this isn't the move.
This business is not good.
I missed the first sign,
when he cut off
my fucking finger,
because I was too busy
eating pussy and eating ass.
But I got one week,
and I'm gonna try
to get another.
I'm looking for some, like,
really spiritual shit right now.
I'm sorry to leave you.
I really am.
What... what do you want me
to do with this, man?
Just don't forget me, man.
Please don't forget me.
Hey.
Are... are you leaving
for the night?
You just missed me, babe.
I'm sure you can go see
one of my colleagues.
No, I don't... I don't
wanna see a colleague.
It's not like H&R Block
or something.
I-I-I came to see you.
Are you... um, could we, like,
hang, uh, outside of here?
Uh, what's up with the car?
It's... it's vintage.
See, I don't really
do house calls, so...
Come on, look,
I'll... I'll... I'll pay you extra.
Like... very extra.
You gonna get the car door
for me?
'Cause I'm not really
a off-the-street kind of girl.
Could we, uh, try something?
What kind of thing?
Some things cost extra.
Like, hitting?
Depends. Who's hitting who?
You hitting me.
Oh, same price.
Like...
harder.
Now do it again.
Try this.
It's a plant, kanna.
It's natural.
It'll help you...
get rid of the stress
in your chest.
Don't worry.
I give it to sober guys.
This past Christmas,
our family... some of our family
gathered in Camp David,
and my brother gave us
bed nets as a Christmas gift.
I can do the same thing
here in America.
You can make
an individual contribution
to save somebody's life.
It's actually crazy
that these documentaries
are just right there,
right under our eyes,
It's part
of how the empire works.
They let it exist lo-fi,
floating around.
They make you feel that if it
was real, they'd delete it,
as if to say, like, "How could
the truth be out there?"
But it is out there.
They're under investigation
for taking money
from some Emirati guy.
Which has put us
under investigation.
I can hear you!
Khaled's case was one
of the most shocking ones.
He was arrested
under completely false
circumstances.
It was totally unjustified.
Help kids in Africa because
it's the right thing to do.
Shazaam!
They use whatever
they can to take our kids.
You could have spoken to Ramy.
What is the point of Diet Coke
if you're gonna have Pop-Tarts?
Zainab, the time
is fast approaching.
Pretty soon,
you'll have to talk to him.
You can't let this thing
hang over you forever.
He doesn't deserve
to talk to me.
He doesn't deserve anything.
He's a bad person.
I'm not saying he's not a man
of inconsistencies
or hypocrisies.
I eat Pop-Tarts.
But I also drink Diet Coke.
Bismillah.
This is not
a Pop-Tart situation.
I know.
But he came looking for you.
He paid your mehr.
As your sheikha,
I'm telling you,
you need to call him.
The decision isn't about you
alone anymore.
Let's pray fajr.
I need to take her
upstairs anyway.
Shh.
Ma shall ah.
Yo.
What?
Dude, it's, like,
5:00 in the morning, man.
Which is the best
time to play PlayStation.
Mo Jr.'s asleep.
Eman's asleep.
Hanan's asleep.
Who?
Get it together, man.
I need someone to play with.
Boo my?
Boo my.
Boom!
- Let me call...
- Let me call you back.
Boom!
Boo my! Boo my!
What...
Boom... Boom!
Fuck!
She isn't breathing.
She got into the cocaine
when she was trying
to get the food.
Oh, shit.
Give her the magical water.
Take it. Take it.