Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (2004–2014): Season 1, Episode 4 - Moore Place - full transcript
Nick and Richard are self-confessed restaurant virgins. They've both had successful careers in the brewery business so when they bought Moore Place last summer they thought their dream had ...
This programme contains
very strong language.
'This week, I'm trying to save Moore Place Restaurant.
'The dining room's empty...
Where is everybody? '..and the food is shocking.'
That's a Yorkshire pudding. That is a pile of shit.
'I'll have to deal with possibly the worst waiter in the world...'
Oh, Zack, I'm fucked.
'..a crazy Frenchman...'
You're being a little fucker again.
'..and a chef obsessed with deep-fat fryers.'
If Mark bangs on again about the justification
to why I should accept that he cooks 99% of his food
in a fucking deep-fat fryer,
I'll put one up his arse sideways.
I'm bursting for a pee.
Esher, in the Home Counties.
Full of stockbrokers, ladies who lunch and golfers.
35,000 rounds of golf are played every year
on Esher's Moore Place course -
that should be more than enough to keep the attached restaurant full,
but none of the golfers ever go.
Nor does anyone else.
I've never seen such a sorry-looking dining room.
I have just a week to turn the place around, and that's a tall order.
Jesus Christ Almighty, a monstrosity. Erm...
First impressions, yeah, erm...
I'd turn it into an open prison for young offenders,
cos it looks fucking ghastly! My God!
I think this could be my toughest job yet.
I've come to try out the food.
More purple. Everywhere.
But the place is deserted.
Looks like I'm dining alone - not a good sign.
God knows what they're going to serve me.
The Camembert. Deep-fried camembert? Have I gone back in time?
Dear Lord, for what I'm about to receive,
may I not be poisoned for the fourth time in four months. Amen.
CRUNCHING
Jesus. It reminds me of rancid fish fingers.
That's disgusting. Thank God I've got some wine to wash it down.
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
It absolutely stinks. It's corked.
DISTANT CHATTER
Where is everybody?
Still, at least I can be sure no-one's watching me.
Mmm.
Next up duck a l'orange. I HAVE gone back in time.
It's the culinary equivalent of flared trousers.
Is the meal all right, then? Mm...
This duck tastes like it grew up in the 1970s.
It's not exactly fucking tender.
Is it popular, the dish? Duck a l'orange?
Not really. No. Have a little taste. SHE LAUGHS
It's quite tough, no?
That's really difficult to eat, yeah. I know. Want to spit it out?
No! Are you gonna swallow?
MOUTH FULL: Not at the moment, no.
Want some water?
It's still in there. Mm-hm.
You're still chewing.
THROUGH FOOD: Oh, my God. Don't swallow it.
SHE LAUGHS
Fuckin' hell.
Horrible food. No wonder this place is in trouble.
Clueless. Completely clueless.
But on the verge of being embarrassing.
Hm.
So what do you think about your meal? En anglais ou en francais?
En anglais.
VOICEOVER: I'm lost for words. Almost.
Merde.
Well, at least I wasn't poisoned,
so I've come back to meet the owners of this 1970s nightmare.
Richard. How are you?
Try to be nice.
Huge place.
Richard Hodgson and Nick hurst
have sunk all their money into this place and it's been a disaster.
It's like an old country house hotel, isn't it?
Historically, it was someone's house.
This empty room will be costing them nearly £100 an hour
for staff and overheads.
Your potential is fantastic, it's got character. It has.
It was a successful Berni Inn back when steaks were posh.
They used to do 200, 250 covers a day here, valet parking.
It's probably the last time it took real money.
Probably the only restaurant on the high street. Absolutely.
Aren't they ashamed to be still serving the same food
from the Berni Inn days?
And who's got the food background? Neither of us two.
None of you? Our background's drink.
I spent 15 years in the licence trade.
Richard sacrificed everything to buy this place.
If I can't help him, his family could be homeless.
I should have done this in my 20s,
when I didn't have children and didn't have a huge mortgage
and everything else.
We both sat there and thought "Shall we do it? Shan't we do it?"
And there were a few dark nights when we thought
"Maybe it's a bit risky and there's a lot of risk involved for us both."
Nick's put everything he's got into the business as well.
Running a restaurant is completely different from selling drinks.
No wonder the kitchen is such a nightmare.
I hope the best.
Herve was the French head chef when they took over.
But no-one liked his cooking - including me.
We gave people some shocking experiences,
I think it's safe to say.
Well, we taught them what the extremes were like.
People can be quite emotional about food -
"You've ruined my life." That type of thing.
I know how they feel.
Engine room - kitchen. Good afternoon.
Let's meet the rest of the kitchen team.
And...? Mark Robinson.
Mark Robinson calls himself executive chef -
whatever that means.
So you were a head chef somewhere else before you came here?
I trained as a chef, and then, er, became very disillusioned
and went off and got an IT and business degree.
Gave up cooking for a business degree?
Doesn't sound very passionate about food to me.
He was brought in to sort things out,
but all he's done is spend thousands of pounds on microwaves and fryers
and piss Herve off.
Come on, stroppy Frenchman.
Herve. Enchante. Enchante.
Good. And he said he doesn't like you.
There are two people in the dining room.
Let's see if their lunch is as bad as my dinner.
Almost everything seems to be deep-fried
And the oil smells like it hasn't been changed for months.
When you walk through the restaurant,
the first thing you smell is a tainted... Fried smell. Fried smell.
Almost a little bit like hospital food. Yes.
SIZZLING
Chef, why's there no anchovy fillets in the salade nicoise?
It's like kind of a salade nicoise, but is... They are old.
How many new potatoes around? Er... only one.
One new potato? Yeah. Fuckin' hell. For £9.50?
Any olives? Er... No.
Nothing's ready here! No beans cooked, no eggs cooked...
What's going on?!
Are we just in the shit cos we've got two customers for lunch?
This kitchen is a nightmare.
Mark was brought in to update the food,
but I can't see what he's done.
How can he get away with a menu like this?
And how would you describe the style, the food?
Erm... It's, erm...
The... The... The a la carte stuff that we do is very, erm...
Is very much "Here's a steak and three sauces you can have with it."
It's not a massive detraction from what they were serving before.
And three sauces are what?
Er... Brandy and mushroom, Stilton and bacon, and, er... peppercorn.
Jesus. Those three sauces sound a little bit Berni Inn-ish.
Well, they are. I mean, this is the thing. It's a bit 1976.
You can say that again.
A little nuked sauce...
Straight out of the microwave? It's an insult to cooking.
Ooh. In a bag? Damn. No wonder we need so many fucking microwaves.
Herve? What? Thank fuck I'm not hungry.
Parsley? Hey, come on, it wouldn't be the same without parsley.
Come on, get it on there.
There you go. Good old Berni. I know you love your parsley.
So far, they need a fucking rock up their arse
because if they continue the way they are doing now,
it's going to go down like a sack of shit.
And quite frankly, I don't think they actually care about customers.
And every dining room needs to care about customers.
Otherwise they don't come fucking back.
It's my second day in Esher,
where I'm trying to help the Moore Place Restaurant and Golf Club.
The food's stuck in the '70s.
HE SNIFFS Ah, Bisto.
As usual, there are no customers.
Today, how many's booked for lunch? None. Nothing. And tonight? None.
So... But we did have someone did come in to look at the restaurant.
It's either here or TGIs. Fucking hell. I'd rather go to TGIs.
Mark Robinson, the executive chef, should be tearing his hair out
but he's taking the day off.
You look different out of your whites.
You look like a monk on leave. HE LAUGHS
Thanks. I'm going to play golf later. Fancy a round?
Going to play golf(!)
We're supposed to be running an empty restaurant,
to get it off the ground, to get it moving
towards something semi-decent,
not fucking around on a golf course.
At least he knows there's something wrong
because he's hired a new head chef.
Now there are three - talk about too many cooks.
One's a joke Frenchman, the other's stuck in the '70s.
I hope Andy Trowell's from the 21st century.
You've really got your work cut out in there. I know.
And you can't go in with all guns blazing
and boot them all in the goolies within the first 24 hours.
You'll have no-one left. I know, I know.
How would you play this situation?
Narrow the menu down to begin with. Start off really simple.
And look what's going on locally.
Andy looks promising but I have to show him what he's up against.
What is that, Andy? Huh?
Looks like something out of the 19... What is that?
Jesus Christ! Painful. Looks like a dehydrated silicone implant.
Actually, it's a microwaved frozen deep-fried burger.
What is that? Caesar salad? Looks like a plate of worms.
God, it breaks my heart when I see this shit, you know that?
Herve, do you think that's nice? Yeah, it's not bad. Not bad?
Andy's worked at some really good places.
He's gonna need all his experience.
I notice instantly some Bolognese sauce in a jar.
They don't use that though, do they? I wouldn't like to say.
We'll ask our executive chef Mark.
He's as shocked as I am by this ready-made packet food.
Lazy cooking and it's more expensive than making it fresh.
Andy, smell that. That's what the smell is
downstairs in the dining room.
I mean, on a Sunday I bet you can smell it all over the building.
Jesus Christ, right down into your heart strings.
No wonder there's no fucking customers.
Herve... Yes? You're being a little fucker again.
How can we have a Frenchman here and we're buying French dressing?
Little fucker.
I'm impressed so far with Andy. He seems keen to make changes.
And this? Yeah, this what I want to get away from. This is...
And they put it on the menu as Brussel pate.
Brussels with chicken. It's just plastic crap. Yeah.
Now, they're definitely left from the Berni Inn. Fucking hell!
Frozen Yorkshire puddings. Ooh, lovely(!)
Andy could be the chef I've been looking for
and that means I can get out of the kitchen and work with the owners.
It looks like a deceased bridge club.
Why spend £10,000 painting the building a horrible colour
and nothing on improving the food?
The reason for doing it was to show people that place had changed hands,
that it was very different.
At night, we light it up with purple lighting. It looks fantastic.
But it has probably alienated some of our old core business.
The most important thing is to focus on the food
and get the food up to where it should be,
what we should be offering locals,
how we should be selling the food
and bringing in a bit of a bargain.
I'm taking Richard down the high street
to find out where his ex-customers are eating.
Can't believe how close together all the restaurants are on one street.
Esher's made up of wealthy City types, ladies that lunch
and, surprisingly, thousands of Americans
who work for a big conglomerate in the area.
Red Peppers. Totally packed in there.
A lady there actually drinking champagne.
Spend per head, lunch? £15-20, but it's churning all the time.
There's a good example. Yeah, very good.
Richard's a businessman and I want him to see
how much money these places are taking.
There are 23 restaurants on the high street, so competition is fierce.
but I bet most people don't even know
there's a restaurant at Moore Place.
Quick challenge - I'm going to ask this family, I'm going to stop them
and say "Have you heard of Moore Place?"
Do you know what it is? Do you know where it is?
Come and try us for lunch. Have you heard of Moore Place?
No.
Have you heard of Moore Place? Unfortunately not. You haven't?
Have you heard of Moore Place? Yeah, up the road. Up the road there.
Have you been? Have you used it? No, I don't like the colour of it.
It strikes me as being an eyesore.
Another purple building there. It's a funeral directors!
You didn't copy that, did you? No!
What, Moore Place? Yes, before they painted it a strange colour.
You're not a fan of the colour? No.
If we paint it differently tomorrow, would you come back next week? Yes.
There we go.
I'll get two brushes, you can have one of them
and I'll have the other.
So, in a survey on the colour... Uh-uh!
I think this trip's opened his eyes
to the potential of his own restaurant.
And it's given me an idea for the new menu.
The plan is to give the restaurant a new direction
and get people talking about Moore Place.
The deep-fried shit has to go
and the parsley round the plates and the chopped tomato...
That... That's fucking '70s crap at its best.
Gordon, I have no desire to spend the rest of my working days
smelling of fat.
There's... You know, thousands of Americans that live locally
that is the most amazing market to tap into.
There's no reason why you can't have, not American-themed restaurant
but an American influence.
But get the place famous for two or three dishes. Sure.
When someone's driving past - "Oh, Christ, look there's Moore Place.
"They've got the best burger in Esher." Yeah.
Who gives a shit? It's a talk point.
Whether it's the best burger or the best chowder, it doesn't matter.
But, as usual, Mark has a problem.
My concern is how that would go down
with, erm...any of the older clientele
that we've got that come in.
OK. Is that keeping the business afloat? No.
No, there you go. No disrespect. I've gone into restaurants before
where everyone's been nervous about
the existing old farty boring bastards that sit there
and take a two-week holiday between courses and dribble throughout.
The Viagra coming with the coffee. No, no!
We're looking for new, vibrant, young, exciting customers,
that are going to be loyal to this place for the next ten years.
Can we fuck off in the kitchen now? Absolutely. Fucking hell.
Stay focused, one direction,
American-style cafe, upbeat, friendly service,
bloody good food, and stick to it.
And if Mark bangs on again about the justification to why
I should accept that he cooks 99% of his food in a fucking deep-fat fryer
and to why they've spent, what? £12,500 on six fucking microwaves,
I'll put one up his arse sideways.
Why don't we do a couple of burgers up for Richard and Nick?
My organic burger, made with totally fresh ingredients,
is miles away from Mark's deep-fried crap.
Nothing wrong with a burger when it's done like this. Lovely.
Oh!
Herve, welcome to proper cooking.
And it's cheaper to make than bought-in silicone implants.
Tomato chutney. A nice raw cherry tomato chutney with shallots.
Put a little bit of Parmesan on, toast them.
The celebration burger. Lovely.
So far, Nick and Richard have shown little interest
in the food they're serving.
What's the verdict?
That...is fantastic. That... That is. That's awesome.
Brilliant. And that's the talking point, that is.
I ate at Moore Place and the burgers are awesome.
You've got to go there and have one.
Fresh, meaty, isn't it? Just...
Because burgers are traditionally so badly done,
what an opportunity to really excel.
I can almost see them counting the money they could make
with my American theme.
Burgers and corned beef hash,
pecan pie, peach Melba and smoked haddock chowder.
The most important thing about this particular soup
is it's done up in the morning. Clam chowder, made up.
We're using potatoes and clam juice to thicken it.
We've gone a little step further and poached some quails' eggs,
then pour the chowder over the haddock, over the clams.
The quail eggs still nice and runny inside. It's lovely.
You take a spoon and think "Cor, fucking hell. That's moreish."
The food is really coming together.
This is the corned-beef hash with hollandaise, finished with mustard.
Not difficult at all. Not at all.
Exceptional. Really like that.
Finally we're getting somewhere. Now all we need is some customers.
35,000 golfers use this place every bloody year, you know that?
And there's a small percentage of them
actually get in to that bloody restaurant through there.
So the idea now is go round there, stalk them a little bit on the green
and ask them to taste this amazing food.
I'm taking Kim, one of the waitresses,
and Andy to entice them in with the food.
Morning, sir. How you doing? Would you like a quick burger?
Sir, there we are. Thank you very much. What's this in aid of?
This is in aid of Andy. I'm the new chef
in the restaurant in Moore Place.
I haven't been in that place for three years, four years now.
I used to come down on a Sunday.
And we booked a breakfast and we had a tee booked
and it just took so long to get breakfast out... That's interesting.
Well, we had to tee off and had to leave breakfast
and I ain't been in there since.
Nick and Richard can't keep an empty restaurant going forever.
We have to fill the dining room and make customers come back.
This is a beautiful mini hamburger
with a nice, fresh tomato chutney on top.
Charcoal grilled. Would you be so kind as to have a quick taste
and just give us a little insight? Yeah, pleasure.
What do you think? This is gorgeous.
Your wife's gonna go mad now, look.
You've spilt it all down your jumper.
I wonder how many of these golfers are ex-customers?
Just trying to get people into the restaurant, try my good food.
Is there a theme to your menu? Chowder, great burgers,
corned-beef hash, beautiful roasts. Knickerbocker Glories...
Would you come to the restaurant? Oh, we certainly would.
Cheers. Thank you very much. Really nice.
There are three days of the year
when all restaurants, however bad, are full -
New Year's Eve, Valentine's Night and Mother's Day.'
What are you doing on Mother's Day? That's a good point...
It's Mother's Day this Sunday
and it could be make or break for Moore Place.
Well, maybe book a table for Mother's Day.
That's this weekend. Sunday.
Pecan pie? It's slightly heavy on the rum,
which makes it a little bit special.
This is nice. Possibly try us out one day?
We will try you out. Thank you! Definitely.
Three down, 34,997 to go.
Hopefully we've enticed some disgruntled customers back
and made some new converts.
My next task - to sort out the waiters.
It's Friday night and time is running out
for practising on customers - all nine of them.
It's Andy's night off and so Mark's running the kitchen.
Yeah, I just want them squared up straight. You know...
Peter, it's not square. Just square them up!
So why is he in the dining room?
I just want them straight.
Tonight I want to see if the waiters can push the new menu.
..on a bed of spinach topped with a fried egg.
That sounds great, actually. It is nice. I tried it yesterday.
I've changed my mind already!
Well done, Kim! One corn-beef hash.
Less butter on the spinach next time. OK, quick.
Smoked haddock chowder, which is a soup. It's with... with...
Come on, Peter!
It's got haddock fish, it's got... It's got...
What was the thing it was? Partridge? Quail.
No! The customers know more than him.
Can I have the Camembert? Two of those, please.
Oh, God. They've ordered the Camembert.
Chest up, hey?
Zack looks so shy. I'm not sure he can walk and talk at the same time,
never mind sell the new menu.
There you go, that's it!
How was your starter? (It's semi-cooked.)
Now things are going wrong in the kitchen as well.
Mark can't even make the deep-fried Camembert.
It's frozen.
And I thought it was his speciality!
Two more.
Are they better? It's melting but they're full of fat now.
If it's under-ripe cheese, it's gonna be a lot harder to get runny.
Even if you cook it from frozen,
it's never going to go runny because it's not right.
Now the chef's gone into the dining room.
That's pretty much one member of staff for every two customers.
And there are no vegetables on the main course
and they need my help to serve them.
How are they ever gonna manage with more than nine customers?
Everything they've touched so far this evening
is fucking overcooked, undercooked,
unripened deep-fried Camembert.
And, erm... (No veg.)
I'm really worried. This dining room will be full on Sunday.
There could be as many as 150 customers. We don't stand a chance.
And if it continues to go like it is now,
there'll be more fucking Camembert inside the pot plants.
Shocking. I mean, really fucking shocking.
Dining room. Absolutely crucial.
We can't do without you and you can't do without us.
And we've got to establish that teamwork
and we've got to come together as a team and think together as a team.
And then never forget the most important person is the customer.
So as a very straightforward exercise,
Nick and I are gonna arrive in the dining room for the first time.
We've got a table booked for 1.30 for lunch today. Ready?
Sit me down, present the menu and sell me this restaurant.
Peter's been here for 15 years so he should know what he's doing.
Good afternoon, Mr Whitehurst. Nice to see you! Mr Ramsay!
Long time, no see! I got a nice table for you!
Well, you can't fault his enthusiasm.
Still or sparkling for both of you? Sparkling for me. Sparkling.
Erm, I'll have a beer, actually.
Kim's been a waitress for five years.
She's charming, but has no real training.
A beer. Bitter? Bitter. OK.
The lamb perhaps? The lamb? Yeah, I'm not too partial...
Zack's only been here a week. He knows nothing, really nothing.
Where's it from, the lamb? I'm not too sure. OK.
Ooh, soup of the day, what's that? Not too sure either, sorry.
May I have some water, please? Still or sparkling?
Yeah, still, please. Still. Fresh or...
Fresh or...? Oh, God! Fresh or from the pond on the ninth green!
They have less than 48 hours to master the new menu
and be able to sell it to the customers.
It's got bits of mussels in it.
It's not actual fish, is it? I'm not sure.
Right... It's seafood. Yeah, it's seafood soup.
It's got some white fish there. It's got cockles. Cockles. Cockles?
This is gonna be harder than the kitchen.
I used to work as a waiter and I'm sure I can show them how it's done.
Smoked haddock chowder. Beautiful, creamy, sweet.
Garnished with flakes of oak-smoked haddock,
finished with a wonderful poached quail egg.
Nice beef chowder. Beef chowder? Definitely not.
We also have a special on today - clam chowder.
The chowder? The chowder is a very nice platter.
Platter? Platter, no.
Nice short descriptive idea of the special.
Clam chowder, very strong-tasting.
I'm turning fucking grey. I'll have to read and go through the menu.
I'll give you the menu. There you go. Let me see what we've got.
Last time.
Sharp-tasting, got a special twist to it as we put a quail's egg in it.
A quail's egg in it. Much better. Quail's egg in it. Really good.
Even my pubes are going grey.
Garnished with an oaks of haddock. I'm sorry!
Garnished with... GIGGLING
Can you cook? No.
This whole thing is theatre
and this restaurant has to become a showcase and each and every customer
who's gonna eat in here on Sunday, gearing up for a bloody busy day
has to remember you. Yes.
And if they remember you and we serve good food,
boy, are they gonna come back.
And one last chance for Zack.
Here we go. I'm ready.
This one I can feel in my bones. I can see how relaxed you are.
You're looking good, you're cool. Bam! Give it to me.
The smoked haddock chowder is a very nice dish.
It has a nice creamy fishy, garnished with flakes and a nice...
smoked haddock in the middle.
It's been selling like hot cakes.
It would be funny if it wasn't for Mother's Day.
Oh, shit. We've only had, like, two days to prepare though.
Oh, fucking hell! You've got two days to prepare one fucking speech.
I've got 24 hours to get a fucking restaurant ready. Zack!
Zack!
I'm more than halfway through my time at Moore Place.
The food's better, the waiters have improved,
but without any customers it's all a bit pointless.
There are three days of the year
when every restaurant should be full, even purple ones -
New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day and Mother's Day.
And Sunday is Mother's Day.
Richard and Nick been taking bookings,
trying to claw back some money.
Table plan. The good news is what? We've got 11 booked.
No, we've got quite a bit more than that booked.
Hit me with it. 181. Shit! Confirmed?
I should be pleased, but I'm terrified.
I thought we'd struggle with 150, but 181?
It's making me feel worried slightly.
Bit ambitious? A bit ambitious, yeah.
But, you know, what we're trying to do and turn this place around
is take it up a division and get customers in here.
But what worries me is that they're still not turned on.
I think they've bitten off more than they can chew
with the amount of covers they want to do.
I'm as worried as Andy, but I have an idea - roast chicken,
just like your mother used to make, but with a twist -
carved at the table to take pressure off the kitchen.
You've cut a chicken before? Ha, nope.
You've cut a chicken before? No.
You've cut a chicken before? Many, many years ago.
Many, many years ago!
Rich? At home, of course.
Everyone's going to learn, including the owners.
JC, you thought you were coming down here for a round of golf.
No, you're not. I want you to do a chicken. Parfait.
I've brought in JC, one of my best maitre d's.
He knows everything there is to know about service
and about carving a chicken.
That's one of the classic cuttings we do.
First, cut off the legs.
Then separate the drumstick from the thigh.
Next, cut along the breastbone.
Keep the knife close to the carcass and take off the breast.
I will leave the skin myself here
and the customer can do what he want, yeah?
So we do one breast, one leg.
Turn the chicken over and remove the succulent oyster underneath.
That's a nice little piece of meat. Voila.
What are you doing on Sunday? Yeah, exactly!
LAUGHTER £4.50 an hour.
No, no, we'll push the boat out this time. £4.75.
The man's got talents.
Time for everyone to practise.
First time for you? First time for me. Chicken virgin.
Fork up the arse. Fork up the arse. Which is the arse?
So, legs off first. And then you go on to the breast.
The chicken has to be carved in three minutes
or the rest of the food will have gone cold.
It doesn't look like a chicken wing. Just looks like a bit of bone.
You cut the leg beautifully. Cut the drum off.
You've got the thigh there. Yeah, look, that's right!
Brilliant. You're just having problems with the breast. Yeah.
Tomorrow, they'll carve in front of customers.
And it'll have to look better than this.
LAUGHTER
So nice to see you in the shit.
That doesn't look pretty. Bit of cat food here.
Looks like the fucking fox has attacked it.
The chickens are coming on and it'll be so nice
to have chickens carved at the table,
and getting the waiters to take pressure
off our fucking shoulders on Sunday,
with gratin dauphinoise in the bowl on the table, fresh peas,
just come into season. Perfect.
So that's the major selling point for the dining room.
Instead of being positive about Mother's Day,
Mark's worrying about old customers who are expecting the 1970s menu
he's already sent out.
The people that have booked have seen this. Yeah.
As long as they know they're going to get beef, lamb, chicken.
They may have seen the menu, but they haven't tasted it. Absolutely.
So that's one fucking relief for me straight away.
I really want Mark to be right behind the changes.
Irrespective of how many we've got booked,
we're going to be in the shit big time. Yeah.
And if we can entice 25% of these customers on Sunday to return,
you know... We've got them. You've got them.
The simple truth is that Nick and Richard have got greedy
and overbooked.
They have to learn to care for their customers.
Do you think you're both now capable of running a restaurant?
As you've said, and as we've not made any bones about,
we're not food experts, we're not restaurant operators.
Our background's drink, so we've undoubtedly got lots to learn.
I think we need to be in here.
Certainly, in the short to medium term,
we need to keep building our capability.
If you are going to go up a division
and take it from strength to strength, you have to get firmer.
I have to do it every day.
There's a part of me that thinks, "Christ, you nasty bastard."
And now that you guys are physically hands-on,
I mean, really hands-on, it would be so good to keep control of it,
hold tight to those fucking reins.
If Richard and Nick serious about getting stuck in,
we could still get through Mother's Day.
I'm going to take them at their word and give them some real work to do.
I really wish I could repaint the building for tomorrow,
but at least I can do something about the inside.
The minute you walk in here, the first thing you look at,
you think... Little bit disoriented
because you're confused where the restaurant is.
At the moment, the customers are in danger of getting lost
on the way into the dining room.
Walk through, down to the right,
and then when you come into here, this is such a lovely area
and what I was thinking was, see all these plants?
Let's get this over here. Little bit of screen.
Maybe one of those little Indian screens.
Sectioned off, and it just gives a nice, smooth, clear flow-through.
If you don't catch them, they often feel... They often mill around here.
Almost a barrier. Disorientated.
Come through this door. You walk in,
the first thing you see... Coat rail. Horrible plastic coat rail.
So the area outside the restaurant is just as important as inside.
Very warm. It's even more intriguing now when you walk through...
You think wow. Beautiful entrance. Excellent. Where's the restaurant?
Oh, it's just down here, on to the right.
There's that natural little snake you can follow.
Everything is ready for Mother's Day.
Just one last test to see if Richard
can carve the chicken in less than three minutes.
Three minutes. HE WHISTLES
TIMER BEEPS How are you feeling?
Have you started? No, not yet.
How am I feeling? Overwhelmed. We've started.
Look at that big smart arse.
Have you been practising?
Only at home, every hour of every minute, every day.
One minute to go.
HE CHUCKLES
He's done it. Richard's ready to face his customers.
Been here before? Two minutes 20. Well done!
Can I just say that we've got 50 roast chickens for tomorrow to sell.
Let me think. That's 100 legs that could go into someone's lap.
LAUGHTER
Morning, guys.
The big day has arrived. And if we're going to give the diners
a Mother's Day to remember, we'd better get cracking.
Andy, how many chickens are going in?
Six chickens down that oven there,
we've got a chicken in there and then that whole tray of chickens.
As well as roast chicken,
Andy's cooking a ribeye of beef with all the trimmings.
And Herve? He's in charge of the Yorkshire puddings.
Herve! You cannot make Yorkshire pudding like this.
Fucking hell. Not exactly how your mother made them!
They're like bullets. Maybe have to cook them longer as well.
And hotter to start off with, just to get them rising.
Morning. You've got 15 chickens.
It'd be nice if you could do ten of them.
What, me personally? Yeah. Thanks for that.
I'm going to start to think about chicken.
OK, here we go, Herve.
Yorkshire puddings...
Wheee!
What do you reckon? Fifty-fifty.
Fingers crossed.
If my Yorkshire puddings rise, the kitchen will be almost ready.
Just one last pep talk for the waiters.
I just want you to stop crashing around.
Move around the dining room like a ballerina.
And see that wonderful floor out there?
Treat that like it's Swan Lake, gliding in and out of the tables.
If we get this right, Moore Place will really take off.
If not, we'll offend half the mothers in Esher.
Oh, we shouldn't be under this pressure on fucking Mother's Day.
Quick look? OK. Just stay there two seconds.
No, no... No, no, no! I don't want you blowing on them,
knocking them down.
Look at everybody standing here waiting for my...
Fuck off out of here!
Hoo!
Oh, fucking hell!
One more look, one more look, just in case I was imagining things.
Ready? Watch.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Like this.
Like a bun. Burger bun!
There we go.
Little bastard.
Right, come here, please. Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...
OK, look, that's what I'm trying to explain.
That's a Yorkshire pudding, that's a pile of shit, yes?
Right, where's that French little fucker? Come here. Herve!
End of story.
OK, 50 minutes to go, first table's arriving at 12 o'clock.
Andy, do you want to lead from the kitchen?
Thank you. OK, starters - smoked haddock chowder.
It's a creamy fish soup, garnished with oak-smoked haddock.
Main courses - roast chicken, carved at the table.
That's down to you guys.
Push the chicken! Traditional roast beef...
With Yorkshire puddings.
LAUGHTER
Je t'aime. Ah, Herve...
Christ, when you think this time last week,
we went from two to 180 for lunch today.
So I'm going to be in the dining room, right behind them,
giving them a little bit of support.
Because I think the kitchen's pretty much set, we're there,
but the dining room's still a little bit apprehensive.
Bookings have been staggered over two sittings,
so we'll be working for six hours straight.
This one for the peas...
After Zack's performance with the chowder, I've put him on bar duty.
Kim, Nick, Richard and Peter will be working the floor.
Andy's in charge of the kitchen with Herve as his right-hand man.
You got three minutes, Herve. How many's the chicken for? Four.
And the executive chef? Well, yeah, he's in charge of crockery.
OK, you've got three chowder bowls up there.
Happy Mother's Day!
Home-made burger...
It's a thick beef burger with a chargrilled bun...
And it tastes brilliant.
It will do Nick the world of good to meet some customers.
The burgers are selling well but at the moment, not enough chicken.
If just two or three of you want the chicken,
we'll bring it out to your table and carve it.
How come you're not selling any chicken?
It's not for want of trying.
We want to go for a break.
If they actually sell one chicken,
the rest of the dining room will start to see a little bit of magic
so they'll all start ordering, then, within an hour we'll run out,
which is exactly what we need.
Now there's a nice buzz coming out of the room.
They sound really...happy.
Here he comes. Give it to me.
Four chicken. Chicken for four. Well done! Well done, big boy.
Four roast chicken.
After all my doubts, it's Peter who sold the first chicken.
Sure enough, soon everyone wants one.
It's a mutant chicken!
My goodness me!
What's the idea of doing it at the table? To get the juices flowing?
Quite a lot of chicken.
How did you feel about having the chicken carved at the table?
Different? Made me feel a bit more hungry. Makes you more hungry?
Can't find the knuckle.
Think of the drumstick.
What's that bit? I've never seen that bit before.
It's nice, though, innit?
D'you want a bit of each?
Relax - it's only a chicken!
Everybody's rising to the occasion
and the first sitting's going really well.
Take two.
There you are. Thank you very much.
It's great to see the dining room full and feel the buzz.
Ooh! Thank you so much. Lovely.
But on the second sitting, the overbooking's causing a problem.
There are just too many people.
There's a table of 19 and a table of 15 and of 14
pretty much coming at the same time.
And it's not very good when you've got 48 people all at once,
because they've shafted the kitchen.
Nick and Richard have to learn a cardinal rule -
put the customers first, make them feel really special
and build a sense of loyalty.
I don't expect to come for a family meal and have to wait this long.
It's not a question of fast food -
we've been here an hour and a half and haven't have a starter.
Not a lot of explanation other than "We've been really busy."
We've kept cheerful, haven't we? Except for Colin.
Still, here we are. We learn and we don't come back again.
Have you ever had a chicken carved at your table? No.
Well, I've not done this many times either...
Kim's trying her best, but charming the customers just won't work.
They want to eat!
At least you know it's fresh though.
Another bottle of wine? Another bottle of wine, please.
Remember, unhappy customers destroy reputations.
How the fuck can you cook for nearly 50 people at one time? Yeah?
The food was very good. The rest of it, the structure, the organisation,
I'm sorry, mate, it doesn't happen.
The poor waiting staff! I mean, the girl's done her best
but she's the only one on her own.
The guys in the black shirts, that we think were the managers,
they were sitting down talking to their mates in the conservatory
and they only left two people serving everybody else in here.
I'd like to say goodbye, but I'm still waiting to pay the bill.
Let's hope Richard and Nick learn their lesson.
The dining room's empty now,
but it's has been full for the first time in a long time
and the vast majority of customers went away happy.
One chicken left.
OK, Herve? Bravo. Well done.
Thank you. Yes? Happy? Yeah.
Yeah, it's good working with Andy.
Yeah? Will you use my recipe for Yorkshire puddings?
They're not bloody French! I know... I don't do Yorkshire pudding.
Don't let him wind you up at the last minute
when everyone's knackered. We've got to the end of the day!
We've got to have some fisticuffs before he goes.
Everyone performed in the kitchen, even Mark.
It's an easy target at the end of the day.
Mark's not an easy target. Yeah, I am, you said earlier.
Lot of material to work with.
No, I just love it when you put "executive chef" before your name.
Hey! Hey... Aw! Goodnight.
And the waiters did a great job.
I'm really impressed with the way everyone pulled together.
That was fantastic. You were running around crazy, like proud cock.
Wow, this is full! This is heaving, this is buzzing.
Hey, I'm running it, and happy as Larry.
Since we've started, we've never had a day like we've had today.
D'you know what? At quarter to 12, lunchtime,
I didn't think you were going to do it.
I didn't think any of you were good enough to do it.
One complaint was that the food was taking too long
and the rest of the complaints were just customers arriving again
still not happy with that bloody colour.
Huh? That purple monstrosity.
Let's hope we've put Moore Place back on the map.
'Moore Place was a restaurant in crisis.'
Where is everybody? 'It felt more like a rest home.'
How many's booked for lunch? None.
'The food was deep-fried, microwaved or out of a packet.'
Fucking '70s crap at its best.
'Too many cooks and not one of them any good.'
Herve? Thank fuck I'm not hungry.
'And I met possibly the worst waiter in the world.'
Oh, Zack, I'm fucked.
I mean, really fucking shocking.
'But by the end of the week, things were improving.'
'Now I'm back to see what's changed.'
Oh, shit. They're still purple! Damn-damn-damn!
'My other biggest problem was with the executive chef.'
'I couldn't see the point.' You put weight on?
I've lost about a stone, actually.
No chef's jacket. That's even better news.
Not till tomorrow. 'At least he's out of the kitchen.'
Missing you already. Yeah, right(!)
'It's the first day of Andy's new menu.'
Morning, guys!
Herve, how are you? (MUTTERS)
Happy as ever(?) Miserable fucker. You well?
Andy, how are you? Good, thanks.
How many dishes tonight? Chicken Maryland...
The baked cod...
I've taken some of your ideas and added some of mine as well.
Good. The haddock chowder, the Waldorf salad
we did on Mother's Day.
The burger, how's that going? Very well.
Ooh - here he is.
You got mashed potato and chips only.
That's it. That's it.
Don't bring in your saute potatoes, that is all the veg there is.
'In 15 years here, Peter's never seen so many changes.'
Still good to see you being the ultimate pain in the arse.
These look nice. Nice apple tarts. Mind if I taste one?
Help yourself. How much do they cost to make? £1?
Yeah, if that. Peter - apple tart. Crispy.
'I hope he can taste the difference in the fresh food.'
Mmm! Delicious!
Isn't that better than that frozen shit you used to serve?
Absolutely. Lovely.
This place even smells different.
Do you think so? Yeah, it just smells...fresh.
The front's still purple. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day.
That's true.
Are the staff causing any problems?
Herve... He's... He seems to be working out all right.
He's a bit negative,
but once you get him on your way of thinking, he can see the improvements
Have you bollocked Mark yet?
Yeah, today. Oh, good!
How's Zack doing? Haddock chowder... Look at him. Sell it to me!
It's a creamy fish soup... garnished with flakes of oaked haddock and a nice quail egg.
'My God! He can do it. Let's hope the menu doesn't change too soon.'
Thanks, Zack! OK. New menu...and new start.
'Andy's exactly what this place needs.'
Moore Place burger, we have seared salmon on a champ mash...
'He cooked for 181 guests on Mother's Day. Everyone was happy - apart from a table of 19.'
'I hope Richard and Nick have learnt from that.'
It's all twos, threes, fours, sixes, no 19s. It's all good, easy stuff.
How many have booked? 27.
'Whether it's 20 customers or 200, service has got to match the food.'
One last thing - it really breaks my heart when I've put sauce on the plate
and the waiters throw all the plates up their arms.
If the sauce is nice and thick, but sometimes it...
It is not a Bernie Inn. Like gravy, soon as you move...
No thick sauces. No parsley! There are no tomatoes.
Thicken 'em up with cornflour. This is not a fuckin' Bernie Inn!
Two chicken Marylands, one French fries, one veg.
Thank you.
We got a new head chef about four weeks ago. Hopefully he'll stay.
'It's good to see Nick engaging with customers.'
What do you recommend for dinner?
I quite like the lamb.
I like the sound of the salmon as well. The special.
Yeah. Have we sold any yet?
Yeah, we've sold, er...three.
There we are. Our new menu is starting tonight.
'The waiters look happy and excited about the new food.'
Service!
Nice buzz tonight. Yeah?
Really nice. Presentation looks nice.
It's unfussy... I've never been a big fan of fried leeks, but that's a garnish.
Are you happy with the... not American restaurant,
but the theme to the food?
Happy, yes. I'd love to see far more bums on seats.
The biggest thing for me is we've got someone in the kitchen who cares as much as we do.
The staff said Sunday was the first time they'd taken food out that they knew wasn't coming back.
They say the starters were a knockout.
Thanks, Kim. 'They've got a real asset in Andy.'
We never, ever pretended to be restaurateurs. We're not.
You guys have the potential to go all the way,
if you remove yourself from the "best mates" scenario with staff, and tighten the screws.
You guys are smart, Kim's smart -
then Friar Tuck walks in wearing a fucking scruffy T-shirt and jeans.
Look at him now at that table.
Send him upstairs and say, "Fuck off out of here, go get a shirt on -
"cos you do look like a sack of shit."
I'm totally in agreement with you.
This is about discipline.
It's very hard to implement it when you're so close.
'The restaurant's not full every night, but turnover's up 20%.'
Superb. Thank you very much.
100 guests a day, six days a week, turning 18, 20 grand a week alone,
I swear to God, you guys have got a fucking gold mine on your hands.
Can I show you one more thing? I know, don't...
No, I want to show you how to play fucking golf.
Oh, just the one more thing(!)
Would you like me to clingfilm the pond, so we don't hear the splash?
'It's great to see the restaurant making money at last.'
'If they can attract as many diners as golfers, Moore Place can be a big success.'
I didn't know they'd be so bright.
Do they float? (CHUCKLES)
We'll see.
Ooh, I've got well left!
Fuckin' hell! And that was a fucking shit shot.
I've played a lot worse.
It's like me inviting you to my restaurant and fucking your omelette.
(LAUGHS)
That's what it's like. Pringle pants, socks, jumper...
All the gear, no idea.
And no fucking bollocks. LAUGHTER
Right...
Ooh, look at that! Beautiful.
'This week, I'm trying to save Moore Place Restaurant.
'The dining room's empty...
Where is everybody? '..and the food is shocking.'
That's a Yorkshire pudding. That is a pile of shit.
'I'll have to deal with possibly the worst waiter in the world...'
Oh, Zack, I'm fucked.
'..a crazy Frenchman...'
You're being a little fucker again.
'..and a chef obsessed with deep-fat fryers.'
If Mark bangs on again about the justification
to why I should accept that he cooks 99% of his food
in a fucking deep-fat fryer,
I'll put one up his arse sideways.
I'm bursting for a pee.
Esher, in the Home Counties.
Full of stockbrokers, ladies who lunch and golfers.
35,000 rounds of golf are played every year
on Esher's Moore Place course -
that should be more than enough to keep the attached restaurant full,
but none of the golfers ever go.
Nor does anyone else.
I've never seen such a sorry-looking dining room.
I have just a week to turn the place around, and that's a tall order.
Jesus Christ Almighty, a monstrosity. Erm...
First impressions, yeah, erm...
I'd turn it into an open prison for young offenders,
cos it looks fucking ghastly! My God!
I think this could be my toughest job yet.
I've come to try out the food.
More purple. Everywhere.
But the place is deserted.
Looks like I'm dining alone - not a good sign.
God knows what they're going to serve me.
The Camembert. Deep-fried camembert? Have I gone back in time?
Dear Lord, for what I'm about to receive,
may I not be poisoned for the fourth time in four months. Amen.
CRUNCHING
Jesus. It reminds me of rancid fish fingers.
That's disgusting. Thank God I've got some wine to wash it down.
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
It absolutely stinks. It's corked.
DISTANT CHATTER
Where is everybody?
Still, at least I can be sure no-one's watching me.
Mmm.
Next up duck a l'orange. I HAVE gone back in time.
It's the culinary equivalent of flared trousers.
Is the meal all right, then? Mm...
This duck tastes like it grew up in the 1970s.
It's not exactly fucking tender.
Is it popular, the dish? Duck a l'orange?
Not really. No. Have a little taste. SHE LAUGHS
It's quite tough, no?
That's really difficult to eat, yeah. I know. Want to spit it out?
No! Are you gonna swallow?
MOUTH FULL: Not at the moment, no.
Want some water?
It's still in there. Mm-hm.
You're still chewing.
THROUGH FOOD: Oh, my God. Don't swallow it.
SHE LAUGHS
Fuckin' hell.
Horrible food. No wonder this place is in trouble.
Clueless. Completely clueless.
But on the verge of being embarrassing.
Hm.
So what do you think about your meal? En anglais ou en francais?
En anglais.
VOICEOVER: I'm lost for words. Almost.
Merde.
Well, at least I wasn't poisoned,
so I've come back to meet the owners of this 1970s nightmare.
Richard. How are you?
Try to be nice.
Huge place.
Richard Hodgson and Nick hurst
have sunk all their money into this place and it's been a disaster.
It's like an old country house hotel, isn't it?
Historically, it was someone's house.
This empty room will be costing them nearly £100 an hour
for staff and overheads.
Your potential is fantastic, it's got character. It has.
It was a successful Berni Inn back when steaks were posh.
They used to do 200, 250 covers a day here, valet parking.
It's probably the last time it took real money.
Probably the only restaurant on the high street. Absolutely.
Aren't they ashamed to be still serving the same food
from the Berni Inn days?
And who's got the food background? Neither of us two.
None of you? Our background's drink.
I spent 15 years in the licence trade.
Richard sacrificed everything to buy this place.
If I can't help him, his family could be homeless.
I should have done this in my 20s,
when I didn't have children and didn't have a huge mortgage
and everything else.
We both sat there and thought "Shall we do it? Shan't we do it?"
And there were a few dark nights when we thought
"Maybe it's a bit risky and there's a lot of risk involved for us both."
Nick's put everything he's got into the business as well.
Running a restaurant is completely different from selling drinks.
No wonder the kitchen is such a nightmare.
I hope the best.
Herve was the French head chef when they took over.
But no-one liked his cooking - including me.
We gave people some shocking experiences,
I think it's safe to say.
Well, we taught them what the extremes were like.
People can be quite emotional about food -
"You've ruined my life." That type of thing.
I know how they feel.
Engine room - kitchen. Good afternoon.
Let's meet the rest of the kitchen team.
And...? Mark Robinson.
Mark Robinson calls himself executive chef -
whatever that means.
So you were a head chef somewhere else before you came here?
I trained as a chef, and then, er, became very disillusioned
and went off and got an IT and business degree.
Gave up cooking for a business degree?
Doesn't sound very passionate about food to me.
He was brought in to sort things out,
but all he's done is spend thousands of pounds on microwaves and fryers
and piss Herve off.
Come on, stroppy Frenchman.
Herve. Enchante. Enchante.
Good. And he said he doesn't like you.
There are two people in the dining room.
Let's see if their lunch is as bad as my dinner.
Almost everything seems to be deep-fried
And the oil smells like it hasn't been changed for months.
When you walk through the restaurant,
the first thing you smell is a tainted... Fried smell. Fried smell.
Almost a little bit like hospital food. Yes.
SIZZLING
Chef, why's there no anchovy fillets in the salade nicoise?
It's like kind of a salade nicoise, but is... They are old.
How many new potatoes around? Er... only one.
One new potato? Yeah. Fuckin' hell. For £9.50?
Any olives? Er... No.
Nothing's ready here! No beans cooked, no eggs cooked...
What's going on?!
Are we just in the shit cos we've got two customers for lunch?
This kitchen is a nightmare.
Mark was brought in to update the food,
but I can't see what he's done.
How can he get away with a menu like this?
And how would you describe the style, the food?
Erm... It's, erm...
The... The... The a la carte stuff that we do is very, erm...
Is very much "Here's a steak and three sauces you can have with it."
It's not a massive detraction from what they were serving before.
And three sauces are what?
Er... Brandy and mushroom, Stilton and bacon, and, er... peppercorn.
Jesus. Those three sauces sound a little bit Berni Inn-ish.
Well, they are. I mean, this is the thing. It's a bit 1976.
You can say that again.
A little nuked sauce...
Straight out of the microwave? It's an insult to cooking.
Ooh. In a bag? Damn. No wonder we need so many fucking microwaves.
Herve? What? Thank fuck I'm not hungry.
Parsley? Hey, come on, it wouldn't be the same without parsley.
Come on, get it on there.
There you go. Good old Berni. I know you love your parsley.
So far, they need a fucking rock up their arse
because if they continue the way they are doing now,
it's going to go down like a sack of shit.
And quite frankly, I don't think they actually care about customers.
And every dining room needs to care about customers.
Otherwise they don't come fucking back.
It's my second day in Esher,
where I'm trying to help the Moore Place Restaurant and Golf Club.
The food's stuck in the '70s.
HE SNIFFS Ah, Bisto.
As usual, there are no customers.
Today, how many's booked for lunch? None. Nothing. And tonight? None.
So... But we did have someone did come in to look at the restaurant.
It's either here or TGIs. Fucking hell. I'd rather go to TGIs.
Mark Robinson, the executive chef, should be tearing his hair out
but he's taking the day off.
You look different out of your whites.
You look like a monk on leave. HE LAUGHS
Thanks. I'm going to play golf later. Fancy a round?
Going to play golf(!)
We're supposed to be running an empty restaurant,
to get it off the ground, to get it moving
towards something semi-decent,
not fucking around on a golf course.
At least he knows there's something wrong
because he's hired a new head chef.
Now there are three - talk about too many cooks.
One's a joke Frenchman, the other's stuck in the '70s.
I hope Andy Trowell's from the 21st century.
You've really got your work cut out in there. I know.
And you can't go in with all guns blazing
and boot them all in the goolies within the first 24 hours.
You'll have no-one left. I know, I know.
How would you play this situation?
Narrow the menu down to begin with. Start off really simple.
And look what's going on locally.
Andy looks promising but I have to show him what he's up against.
What is that, Andy? Huh?
Looks like something out of the 19... What is that?
Jesus Christ! Painful. Looks like a dehydrated silicone implant.
Actually, it's a microwaved frozen deep-fried burger.
What is that? Caesar salad? Looks like a plate of worms.
God, it breaks my heart when I see this shit, you know that?
Herve, do you think that's nice? Yeah, it's not bad. Not bad?
Andy's worked at some really good places.
He's gonna need all his experience.
I notice instantly some Bolognese sauce in a jar.
They don't use that though, do they? I wouldn't like to say.
We'll ask our executive chef Mark.
He's as shocked as I am by this ready-made packet food.
Lazy cooking and it's more expensive than making it fresh.
Andy, smell that. That's what the smell is
downstairs in the dining room.
I mean, on a Sunday I bet you can smell it all over the building.
Jesus Christ, right down into your heart strings.
No wonder there's no fucking customers.
Herve... Yes? You're being a little fucker again.
How can we have a Frenchman here and we're buying French dressing?
Little fucker.
I'm impressed so far with Andy. He seems keen to make changes.
And this? Yeah, this what I want to get away from. This is...
And they put it on the menu as Brussel pate.
Brussels with chicken. It's just plastic crap. Yeah.
Now, they're definitely left from the Berni Inn. Fucking hell!
Frozen Yorkshire puddings. Ooh, lovely(!)
Andy could be the chef I've been looking for
and that means I can get out of the kitchen and work with the owners.
It looks like a deceased bridge club.
Why spend £10,000 painting the building a horrible colour
and nothing on improving the food?
The reason for doing it was to show people that place had changed hands,
that it was very different.
At night, we light it up with purple lighting. It looks fantastic.
But it has probably alienated some of our old core business.
The most important thing is to focus on the food
and get the food up to where it should be,
what we should be offering locals,
how we should be selling the food
and bringing in a bit of a bargain.
I'm taking Richard down the high street
to find out where his ex-customers are eating.
Can't believe how close together all the restaurants are on one street.
Esher's made up of wealthy City types, ladies that lunch
and, surprisingly, thousands of Americans
who work for a big conglomerate in the area.
Red Peppers. Totally packed in there.
A lady there actually drinking champagne.
Spend per head, lunch? £15-20, but it's churning all the time.
There's a good example. Yeah, very good.
Richard's a businessman and I want him to see
how much money these places are taking.
There are 23 restaurants on the high street, so competition is fierce.
but I bet most people don't even know
there's a restaurant at Moore Place.
Quick challenge - I'm going to ask this family, I'm going to stop them
and say "Have you heard of Moore Place?"
Do you know what it is? Do you know where it is?
Come and try us for lunch. Have you heard of Moore Place?
No.
Have you heard of Moore Place? Unfortunately not. You haven't?
Have you heard of Moore Place? Yeah, up the road. Up the road there.
Have you been? Have you used it? No, I don't like the colour of it.
It strikes me as being an eyesore.
Another purple building there. It's a funeral directors!
You didn't copy that, did you? No!
What, Moore Place? Yes, before they painted it a strange colour.
You're not a fan of the colour? No.
If we paint it differently tomorrow, would you come back next week? Yes.
There we go.
I'll get two brushes, you can have one of them
and I'll have the other.
So, in a survey on the colour... Uh-uh!
I think this trip's opened his eyes
to the potential of his own restaurant.
And it's given me an idea for the new menu.
The plan is to give the restaurant a new direction
and get people talking about Moore Place.
The deep-fried shit has to go
and the parsley round the plates and the chopped tomato...
That... That's fucking '70s crap at its best.
Gordon, I have no desire to spend the rest of my working days
smelling of fat.
There's... You know, thousands of Americans that live locally
that is the most amazing market to tap into.
There's no reason why you can't have, not American-themed restaurant
but an American influence.
But get the place famous for two or three dishes. Sure.
When someone's driving past - "Oh, Christ, look there's Moore Place.
"They've got the best burger in Esher." Yeah.
Who gives a shit? It's a talk point.
Whether it's the best burger or the best chowder, it doesn't matter.
But, as usual, Mark has a problem.
My concern is how that would go down
with, erm...any of the older clientele
that we've got that come in.
OK. Is that keeping the business afloat? No.
No, there you go. No disrespect. I've gone into restaurants before
where everyone's been nervous about
the existing old farty boring bastards that sit there
and take a two-week holiday between courses and dribble throughout.
The Viagra coming with the coffee. No, no!
We're looking for new, vibrant, young, exciting customers,
that are going to be loyal to this place for the next ten years.
Can we fuck off in the kitchen now? Absolutely. Fucking hell.
Stay focused, one direction,
American-style cafe, upbeat, friendly service,
bloody good food, and stick to it.
And if Mark bangs on again about the justification to why
I should accept that he cooks 99% of his food in a fucking deep-fat fryer
and to why they've spent, what? £12,500 on six fucking microwaves,
I'll put one up his arse sideways.
Why don't we do a couple of burgers up for Richard and Nick?
My organic burger, made with totally fresh ingredients,
is miles away from Mark's deep-fried crap.
Nothing wrong with a burger when it's done like this. Lovely.
Oh!
Herve, welcome to proper cooking.
And it's cheaper to make than bought-in silicone implants.
Tomato chutney. A nice raw cherry tomato chutney with shallots.
Put a little bit of Parmesan on, toast them.
The celebration burger. Lovely.
So far, Nick and Richard have shown little interest
in the food they're serving.
What's the verdict?
That...is fantastic. That... That is. That's awesome.
Brilliant. And that's the talking point, that is.
I ate at Moore Place and the burgers are awesome.
You've got to go there and have one.
Fresh, meaty, isn't it? Just...
Because burgers are traditionally so badly done,
what an opportunity to really excel.
I can almost see them counting the money they could make
with my American theme.
Burgers and corned beef hash,
pecan pie, peach Melba and smoked haddock chowder.
The most important thing about this particular soup
is it's done up in the morning. Clam chowder, made up.
We're using potatoes and clam juice to thicken it.
We've gone a little step further and poached some quails' eggs,
then pour the chowder over the haddock, over the clams.
The quail eggs still nice and runny inside. It's lovely.
You take a spoon and think "Cor, fucking hell. That's moreish."
The food is really coming together.
This is the corned-beef hash with hollandaise, finished with mustard.
Not difficult at all. Not at all.
Exceptional. Really like that.
Finally we're getting somewhere. Now all we need is some customers.
35,000 golfers use this place every bloody year, you know that?
And there's a small percentage of them
actually get in to that bloody restaurant through there.
So the idea now is go round there, stalk them a little bit on the green
and ask them to taste this amazing food.
I'm taking Kim, one of the waitresses,
and Andy to entice them in with the food.
Morning, sir. How you doing? Would you like a quick burger?
Sir, there we are. Thank you very much. What's this in aid of?
This is in aid of Andy. I'm the new chef
in the restaurant in Moore Place.
I haven't been in that place for three years, four years now.
I used to come down on a Sunday.
And we booked a breakfast and we had a tee booked
and it just took so long to get breakfast out... That's interesting.
Well, we had to tee off and had to leave breakfast
and I ain't been in there since.
Nick and Richard can't keep an empty restaurant going forever.
We have to fill the dining room and make customers come back.
This is a beautiful mini hamburger
with a nice, fresh tomato chutney on top.
Charcoal grilled. Would you be so kind as to have a quick taste
and just give us a little insight? Yeah, pleasure.
What do you think? This is gorgeous.
Your wife's gonna go mad now, look.
You've spilt it all down your jumper.
I wonder how many of these golfers are ex-customers?
Just trying to get people into the restaurant, try my good food.
Is there a theme to your menu? Chowder, great burgers,
corned-beef hash, beautiful roasts. Knickerbocker Glories...
Would you come to the restaurant? Oh, we certainly would.
Cheers. Thank you very much. Really nice.
There are three days of the year
when all restaurants, however bad, are full -
New Year's Eve, Valentine's Night and Mother's Day.'
What are you doing on Mother's Day? That's a good point...
It's Mother's Day this Sunday
and it could be make or break for Moore Place.
Well, maybe book a table for Mother's Day.
That's this weekend. Sunday.
Pecan pie? It's slightly heavy on the rum,
which makes it a little bit special.
This is nice. Possibly try us out one day?
We will try you out. Thank you! Definitely.
Three down, 34,997 to go.
Hopefully we've enticed some disgruntled customers back
and made some new converts.
My next task - to sort out the waiters.
It's Friday night and time is running out
for practising on customers - all nine of them.
It's Andy's night off and so Mark's running the kitchen.
Yeah, I just want them squared up straight. You know...
Peter, it's not square. Just square them up!
So why is he in the dining room?
I just want them straight.
Tonight I want to see if the waiters can push the new menu.
..on a bed of spinach topped with a fried egg.
That sounds great, actually. It is nice. I tried it yesterday.
I've changed my mind already!
Well done, Kim! One corn-beef hash.
Less butter on the spinach next time. OK, quick.
Smoked haddock chowder, which is a soup. It's with... with...
Come on, Peter!
It's got haddock fish, it's got... It's got...
What was the thing it was? Partridge? Quail.
No! The customers know more than him.
Can I have the Camembert? Two of those, please.
Oh, God. They've ordered the Camembert.
Chest up, hey?
Zack looks so shy. I'm not sure he can walk and talk at the same time,
never mind sell the new menu.
There you go, that's it!
How was your starter? (It's semi-cooked.)
Now things are going wrong in the kitchen as well.
Mark can't even make the deep-fried Camembert.
It's frozen.
And I thought it was his speciality!
Two more.
Are they better? It's melting but they're full of fat now.
If it's under-ripe cheese, it's gonna be a lot harder to get runny.
Even if you cook it from frozen,
it's never going to go runny because it's not right.
Now the chef's gone into the dining room.
That's pretty much one member of staff for every two customers.
And there are no vegetables on the main course
and they need my help to serve them.
How are they ever gonna manage with more than nine customers?
Everything they've touched so far this evening
is fucking overcooked, undercooked,
unripened deep-fried Camembert.
And, erm... (No veg.)
I'm really worried. This dining room will be full on Sunday.
There could be as many as 150 customers. We don't stand a chance.
And if it continues to go like it is now,
there'll be more fucking Camembert inside the pot plants.
Shocking. I mean, really fucking shocking.
Dining room. Absolutely crucial.
We can't do without you and you can't do without us.
And we've got to establish that teamwork
and we've got to come together as a team and think together as a team.
And then never forget the most important person is the customer.
So as a very straightforward exercise,
Nick and I are gonna arrive in the dining room for the first time.
We've got a table booked for 1.30 for lunch today. Ready?
Sit me down, present the menu and sell me this restaurant.
Peter's been here for 15 years so he should know what he's doing.
Good afternoon, Mr Whitehurst. Nice to see you! Mr Ramsay!
Long time, no see! I got a nice table for you!
Well, you can't fault his enthusiasm.
Still or sparkling for both of you? Sparkling for me. Sparkling.
Erm, I'll have a beer, actually.
Kim's been a waitress for five years.
She's charming, but has no real training.
A beer. Bitter? Bitter. OK.
The lamb perhaps? The lamb? Yeah, I'm not too partial...
Zack's only been here a week. He knows nothing, really nothing.
Where's it from, the lamb? I'm not too sure. OK.
Ooh, soup of the day, what's that? Not too sure either, sorry.
May I have some water, please? Still or sparkling?
Yeah, still, please. Still. Fresh or...
Fresh or...? Oh, God! Fresh or from the pond on the ninth green!
They have less than 48 hours to master the new menu
and be able to sell it to the customers.
It's got bits of mussels in it.
It's not actual fish, is it? I'm not sure.
Right... It's seafood. Yeah, it's seafood soup.
It's got some white fish there. It's got cockles. Cockles. Cockles?
This is gonna be harder than the kitchen.
I used to work as a waiter and I'm sure I can show them how it's done.
Smoked haddock chowder. Beautiful, creamy, sweet.
Garnished with flakes of oak-smoked haddock,
finished with a wonderful poached quail egg.
Nice beef chowder. Beef chowder? Definitely not.
We also have a special on today - clam chowder.
The chowder? The chowder is a very nice platter.
Platter? Platter, no.
Nice short descriptive idea of the special.
Clam chowder, very strong-tasting.
I'm turning fucking grey. I'll have to read and go through the menu.
I'll give you the menu. There you go. Let me see what we've got.
Last time.
Sharp-tasting, got a special twist to it as we put a quail's egg in it.
A quail's egg in it. Much better. Quail's egg in it. Really good.
Even my pubes are going grey.
Garnished with an oaks of haddock. I'm sorry!
Garnished with... GIGGLING
Can you cook? No.
This whole thing is theatre
and this restaurant has to become a showcase and each and every customer
who's gonna eat in here on Sunday, gearing up for a bloody busy day
has to remember you. Yes.
And if they remember you and we serve good food,
boy, are they gonna come back.
And one last chance for Zack.
Here we go. I'm ready.
This one I can feel in my bones. I can see how relaxed you are.
You're looking good, you're cool. Bam! Give it to me.
The smoked haddock chowder is a very nice dish.
It has a nice creamy fishy, garnished with flakes and a nice...
smoked haddock in the middle.
It's been selling like hot cakes.
It would be funny if it wasn't for Mother's Day.
Oh, shit. We've only had, like, two days to prepare though.
Oh, fucking hell! You've got two days to prepare one fucking speech.
I've got 24 hours to get a fucking restaurant ready. Zack!
Zack!
I'm more than halfway through my time at Moore Place.
The food's better, the waiters have improved,
but without any customers it's all a bit pointless.
There are three days of the year
when every restaurant should be full, even purple ones -
New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day and Mother's Day.
And Sunday is Mother's Day.
Richard and Nick been taking bookings,
trying to claw back some money.
Table plan. The good news is what? We've got 11 booked.
No, we've got quite a bit more than that booked.
Hit me with it. 181. Shit! Confirmed?
I should be pleased, but I'm terrified.
I thought we'd struggle with 150, but 181?
It's making me feel worried slightly.
Bit ambitious? A bit ambitious, yeah.
But, you know, what we're trying to do and turn this place around
is take it up a division and get customers in here.
But what worries me is that they're still not turned on.
I think they've bitten off more than they can chew
with the amount of covers they want to do.
I'm as worried as Andy, but I have an idea - roast chicken,
just like your mother used to make, but with a twist -
carved at the table to take pressure off the kitchen.
You've cut a chicken before? Ha, nope.
You've cut a chicken before? No.
You've cut a chicken before? Many, many years ago.
Many, many years ago!
Rich? At home, of course.
Everyone's going to learn, including the owners.
JC, you thought you were coming down here for a round of golf.
No, you're not. I want you to do a chicken. Parfait.
I've brought in JC, one of my best maitre d's.
He knows everything there is to know about service
and about carving a chicken.
That's one of the classic cuttings we do.
First, cut off the legs.
Then separate the drumstick from the thigh.
Next, cut along the breastbone.
Keep the knife close to the carcass and take off the breast.
I will leave the skin myself here
and the customer can do what he want, yeah?
So we do one breast, one leg.
Turn the chicken over and remove the succulent oyster underneath.
That's a nice little piece of meat. Voila.
What are you doing on Sunday? Yeah, exactly!
LAUGHTER £4.50 an hour.
No, no, we'll push the boat out this time. £4.75.
The man's got talents.
Time for everyone to practise.
First time for you? First time for me. Chicken virgin.
Fork up the arse. Fork up the arse. Which is the arse?
So, legs off first. And then you go on to the breast.
The chicken has to be carved in three minutes
or the rest of the food will have gone cold.
It doesn't look like a chicken wing. Just looks like a bit of bone.
You cut the leg beautifully. Cut the drum off.
You've got the thigh there. Yeah, look, that's right!
Brilliant. You're just having problems with the breast. Yeah.
Tomorrow, they'll carve in front of customers.
And it'll have to look better than this.
LAUGHTER
So nice to see you in the shit.
That doesn't look pretty. Bit of cat food here.
Looks like the fucking fox has attacked it.
The chickens are coming on and it'll be so nice
to have chickens carved at the table,
and getting the waiters to take pressure
off our fucking shoulders on Sunday,
with gratin dauphinoise in the bowl on the table, fresh peas,
just come into season. Perfect.
So that's the major selling point for the dining room.
Instead of being positive about Mother's Day,
Mark's worrying about old customers who are expecting the 1970s menu
he's already sent out.
The people that have booked have seen this. Yeah.
As long as they know they're going to get beef, lamb, chicken.
They may have seen the menu, but they haven't tasted it. Absolutely.
So that's one fucking relief for me straight away.
I really want Mark to be right behind the changes.
Irrespective of how many we've got booked,
we're going to be in the shit big time. Yeah.
And if we can entice 25% of these customers on Sunday to return,
you know... We've got them. You've got them.
The simple truth is that Nick and Richard have got greedy
and overbooked.
They have to learn to care for their customers.
Do you think you're both now capable of running a restaurant?
As you've said, and as we've not made any bones about,
we're not food experts, we're not restaurant operators.
Our background's drink, so we've undoubtedly got lots to learn.
I think we need to be in here.
Certainly, in the short to medium term,
we need to keep building our capability.
If you are going to go up a division
and take it from strength to strength, you have to get firmer.
I have to do it every day.
There's a part of me that thinks, "Christ, you nasty bastard."
And now that you guys are physically hands-on,
I mean, really hands-on, it would be so good to keep control of it,
hold tight to those fucking reins.
If Richard and Nick serious about getting stuck in,
we could still get through Mother's Day.
I'm going to take them at their word and give them some real work to do.
I really wish I could repaint the building for tomorrow,
but at least I can do something about the inside.
The minute you walk in here, the first thing you look at,
you think... Little bit disoriented
because you're confused where the restaurant is.
At the moment, the customers are in danger of getting lost
on the way into the dining room.
Walk through, down to the right,
and then when you come into here, this is such a lovely area
and what I was thinking was, see all these plants?
Let's get this over here. Little bit of screen.
Maybe one of those little Indian screens.
Sectioned off, and it just gives a nice, smooth, clear flow-through.
If you don't catch them, they often feel... They often mill around here.
Almost a barrier. Disorientated.
Come through this door. You walk in,
the first thing you see... Coat rail. Horrible plastic coat rail.
So the area outside the restaurant is just as important as inside.
Very warm. It's even more intriguing now when you walk through...
You think wow. Beautiful entrance. Excellent. Where's the restaurant?
Oh, it's just down here, on to the right.
There's that natural little snake you can follow.
Everything is ready for Mother's Day.
Just one last test to see if Richard
can carve the chicken in less than three minutes.
Three minutes. HE WHISTLES
TIMER BEEPS How are you feeling?
Have you started? No, not yet.
How am I feeling? Overwhelmed. We've started.
Look at that big smart arse.
Have you been practising?
Only at home, every hour of every minute, every day.
One minute to go.
HE CHUCKLES
He's done it. Richard's ready to face his customers.
Been here before? Two minutes 20. Well done!
Can I just say that we've got 50 roast chickens for tomorrow to sell.
Let me think. That's 100 legs that could go into someone's lap.
LAUGHTER
Morning, guys.
The big day has arrived. And if we're going to give the diners
a Mother's Day to remember, we'd better get cracking.
Andy, how many chickens are going in?
Six chickens down that oven there,
we've got a chicken in there and then that whole tray of chickens.
As well as roast chicken,
Andy's cooking a ribeye of beef with all the trimmings.
And Herve? He's in charge of the Yorkshire puddings.
Herve! You cannot make Yorkshire pudding like this.
Fucking hell. Not exactly how your mother made them!
They're like bullets. Maybe have to cook them longer as well.
And hotter to start off with, just to get them rising.
Morning. You've got 15 chickens.
It'd be nice if you could do ten of them.
What, me personally? Yeah. Thanks for that.
I'm going to start to think about chicken.
OK, here we go, Herve.
Yorkshire puddings...
Wheee!
What do you reckon? Fifty-fifty.
Fingers crossed.
If my Yorkshire puddings rise, the kitchen will be almost ready.
Just one last pep talk for the waiters.
I just want you to stop crashing around.
Move around the dining room like a ballerina.
And see that wonderful floor out there?
Treat that like it's Swan Lake, gliding in and out of the tables.
If we get this right, Moore Place will really take off.
If not, we'll offend half the mothers in Esher.
Oh, we shouldn't be under this pressure on fucking Mother's Day.
Quick look? OK. Just stay there two seconds.
No, no... No, no, no! I don't want you blowing on them,
knocking them down.
Look at everybody standing here waiting for my...
Fuck off out of here!
Hoo!
Oh, fucking hell!
One more look, one more look, just in case I was imagining things.
Ready? Watch.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Like this.
Like a bun. Burger bun!
There we go.
Little bastard.
Right, come here, please. Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...
OK, look, that's what I'm trying to explain.
That's a Yorkshire pudding, that's a pile of shit, yes?
Right, where's that French little fucker? Come here. Herve!
End of story.
OK, 50 minutes to go, first table's arriving at 12 o'clock.
Andy, do you want to lead from the kitchen?
Thank you. OK, starters - smoked haddock chowder.
It's a creamy fish soup, garnished with oak-smoked haddock.
Main courses - roast chicken, carved at the table.
That's down to you guys.
Push the chicken! Traditional roast beef...
With Yorkshire puddings.
LAUGHTER
Je t'aime. Ah, Herve...
Christ, when you think this time last week,
we went from two to 180 for lunch today.
So I'm going to be in the dining room, right behind them,
giving them a little bit of support.
Because I think the kitchen's pretty much set, we're there,
but the dining room's still a little bit apprehensive.
Bookings have been staggered over two sittings,
so we'll be working for six hours straight.
This one for the peas...
After Zack's performance with the chowder, I've put him on bar duty.
Kim, Nick, Richard and Peter will be working the floor.
Andy's in charge of the kitchen with Herve as his right-hand man.
You got three minutes, Herve. How many's the chicken for? Four.
And the executive chef? Well, yeah, he's in charge of crockery.
OK, you've got three chowder bowls up there.
Happy Mother's Day!
Home-made burger...
It's a thick beef burger with a chargrilled bun...
And it tastes brilliant.
It will do Nick the world of good to meet some customers.
The burgers are selling well but at the moment, not enough chicken.
If just two or three of you want the chicken,
we'll bring it out to your table and carve it.
How come you're not selling any chicken?
It's not for want of trying.
We want to go for a break.
If they actually sell one chicken,
the rest of the dining room will start to see a little bit of magic
so they'll all start ordering, then, within an hour we'll run out,
which is exactly what we need.
Now there's a nice buzz coming out of the room.
They sound really...happy.
Here he comes. Give it to me.
Four chicken. Chicken for four. Well done! Well done, big boy.
Four roast chicken.
After all my doubts, it's Peter who sold the first chicken.
Sure enough, soon everyone wants one.
It's a mutant chicken!
My goodness me!
What's the idea of doing it at the table? To get the juices flowing?
Quite a lot of chicken.
How did you feel about having the chicken carved at the table?
Different? Made me feel a bit more hungry. Makes you more hungry?
Can't find the knuckle.
Think of the drumstick.
What's that bit? I've never seen that bit before.
It's nice, though, innit?
D'you want a bit of each?
Relax - it's only a chicken!
Everybody's rising to the occasion
and the first sitting's going really well.
Take two.
There you are. Thank you very much.
It's great to see the dining room full and feel the buzz.
Ooh! Thank you so much. Lovely.
But on the second sitting, the overbooking's causing a problem.
There are just too many people.
There's a table of 19 and a table of 15 and of 14
pretty much coming at the same time.
And it's not very good when you've got 48 people all at once,
because they've shafted the kitchen.
Nick and Richard have to learn a cardinal rule -
put the customers first, make them feel really special
and build a sense of loyalty.
I don't expect to come for a family meal and have to wait this long.
It's not a question of fast food -
we've been here an hour and a half and haven't have a starter.
Not a lot of explanation other than "We've been really busy."
We've kept cheerful, haven't we? Except for Colin.
Still, here we are. We learn and we don't come back again.
Have you ever had a chicken carved at your table? No.
Well, I've not done this many times either...
Kim's trying her best, but charming the customers just won't work.
They want to eat!
At least you know it's fresh though.
Another bottle of wine? Another bottle of wine, please.
Remember, unhappy customers destroy reputations.
How the fuck can you cook for nearly 50 people at one time? Yeah?
The food was very good. The rest of it, the structure, the organisation,
I'm sorry, mate, it doesn't happen.
The poor waiting staff! I mean, the girl's done her best
but she's the only one on her own.
The guys in the black shirts, that we think were the managers,
they were sitting down talking to their mates in the conservatory
and they only left two people serving everybody else in here.
I'd like to say goodbye, but I'm still waiting to pay the bill.
Let's hope Richard and Nick learn their lesson.
The dining room's empty now,
but it's has been full for the first time in a long time
and the vast majority of customers went away happy.
One chicken left.
OK, Herve? Bravo. Well done.
Thank you. Yes? Happy? Yeah.
Yeah, it's good working with Andy.
Yeah? Will you use my recipe for Yorkshire puddings?
They're not bloody French! I know... I don't do Yorkshire pudding.
Don't let him wind you up at the last minute
when everyone's knackered. We've got to the end of the day!
We've got to have some fisticuffs before he goes.
Everyone performed in the kitchen, even Mark.
It's an easy target at the end of the day.
Mark's not an easy target. Yeah, I am, you said earlier.
Lot of material to work with.
No, I just love it when you put "executive chef" before your name.
Hey! Hey... Aw! Goodnight.
And the waiters did a great job.
I'm really impressed with the way everyone pulled together.
That was fantastic. You were running around crazy, like proud cock.
Wow, this is full! This is heaving, this is buzzing.
Hey, I'm running it, and happy as Larry.
Since we've started, we've never had a day like we've had today.
D'you know what? At quarter to 12, lunchtime,
I didn't think you were going to do it.
I didn't think any of you were good enough to do it.
One complaint was that the food was taking too long
and the rest of the complaints were just customers arriving again
still not happy with that bloody colour.
Huh? That purple monstrosity.
Let's hope we've put Moore Place back on the map.
'Moore Place was a restaurant in crisis.'
Where is everybody? 'It felt more like a rest home.'
How many's booked for lunch? None.
'The food was deep-fried, microwaved or out of a packet.'
Fucking '70s crap at its best.
'Too many cooks and not one of them any good.'
Herve? Thank fuck I'm not hungry.
'And I met possibly the worst waiter in the world.'
Oh, Zack, I'm fucked.
I mean, really fucking shocking.
'But by the end of the week, things were improving.'
'Now I'm back to see what's changed.'
Oh, shit. They're still purple! Damn-damn-damn!
'My other biggest problem was with the executive chef.'
'I couldn't see the point.' You put weight on?
I've lost about a stone, actually.
No chef's jacket. That's even better news.
Not till tomorrow. 'At least he's out of the kitchen.'
Missing you already. Yeah, right(!)
'It's the first day of Andy's new menu.'
Morning, guys!
Herve, how are you? (MUTTERS)
Happy as ever(?) Miserable fucker. You well?
Andy, how are you? Good, thanks.
How many dishes tonight? Chicken Maryland...
The baked cod...
I've taken some of your ideas and added some of mine as well.
Good. The haddock chowder, the Waldorf salad
we did on Mother's Day.
The burger, how's that going? Very well.
Ooh - here he is.
You got mashed potato and chips only.
That's it. That's it.
Don't bring in your saute potatoes, that is all the veg there is.
'In 15 years here, Peter's never seen so many changes.'
Still good to see you being the ultimate pain in the arse.
These look nice. Nice apple tarts. Mind if I taste one?
Help yourself. How much do they cost to make? £1?
Yeah, if that. Peter - apple tart. Crispy.
'I hope he can taste the difference in the fresh food.'
Mmm! Delicious!
Isn't that better than that frozen shit you used to serve?
Absolutely. Lovely.
This place even smells different.
Do you think so? Yeah, it just smells...fresh.
The front's still purple. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day.
That's true.
Are the staff causing any problems?
Herve... He's... He seems to be working out all right.
He's a bit negative,
but once you get him on your way of thinking, he can see the improvements
Have you bollocked Mark yet?
Yeah, today. Oh, good!
How's Zack doing? Haddock chowder... Look at him. Sell it to me!
It's a creamy fish soup... garnished with flakes of oaked haddock and a nice quail egg.
'My God! He can do it. Let's hope the menu doesn't change too soon.'
Thanks, Zack! OK. New menu...and new start.
'Andy's exactly what this place needs.'
Moore Place burger, we have seared salmon on a champ mash...
'He cooked for 181 guests on Mother's Day. Everyone was happy - apart from a table of 19.'
'I hope Richard and Nick have learnt from that.'
It's all twos, threes, fours, sixes, no 19s. It's all good, easy stuff.
How many have booked? 27.
'Whether it's 20 customers or 200, service has got to match the food.'
One last thing - it really breaks my heart when I've put sauce on the plate
and the waiters throw all the plates up their arms.
If the sauce is nice and thick, but sometimes it...
It is not a Bernie Inn. Like gravy, soon as you move...
No thick sauces. No parsley! There are no tomatoes.
Thicken 'em up with cornflour. This is not a fuckin' Bernie Inn!
Two chicken Marylands, one French fries, one veg.
Thank you.
We got a new head chef about four weeks ago. Hopefully he'll stay.
'It's good to see Nick engaging with customers.'
What do you recommend for dinner?
I quite like the lamb.
I like the sound of the salmon as well. The special.
Yeah. Have we sold any yet?
Yeah, we've sold, er...three.
There we are. Our new menu is starting tonight.
'The waiters look happy and excited about the new food.'
Service!
Nice buzz tonight. Yeah?
Really nice. Presentation looks nice.
It's unfussy... I've never been a big fan of fried leeks, but that's a garnish.
Are you happy with the... not American restaurant,
but the theme to the food?
Happy, yes. I'd love to see far more bums on seats.
The biggest thing for me is we've got someone in the kitchen who cares as much as we do.
The staff said Sunday was the first time they'd taken food out that they knew wasn't coming back.
They say the starters were a knockout.
Thanks, Kim. 'They've got a real asset in Andy.'
We never, ever pretended to be restaurateurs. We're not.
You guys have the potential to go all the way,
if you remove yourself from the "best mates" scenario with staff, and tighten the screws.
You guys are smart, Kim's smart -
then Friar Tuck walks in wearing a fucking scruffy T-shirt and jeans.
Look at him now at that table.
Send him upstairs and say, "Fuck off out of here, go get a shirt on -
"cos you do look like a sack of shit."
I'm totally in agreement with you.
This is about discipline.
It's very hard to implement it when you're so close.
'The restaurant's not full every night, but turnover's up 20%.'
Superb. Thank you very much.
100 guests a day, six days a week, turning 18, 20 grand a week alone,
I swear to God, you guys have got a fucking gold mine on your hands.
Can I show you one more thing? I know, don't...
No, I want to show you how to play fucking golf.
Oh, just the one more thing(!)
Would you like me to clingfilm the pond, so we don't hear the splash?
'It's great to see the restaurant making money at last.'
'If they can attract as many diners as golfers, Moore Place can be a big success.'
I didn't know they'd be so bright.
Do they float? (CHUCKLES)
We'll see.
Ooh, I've got well left!
Fuckin' hell! And that was a fucking shit shot.
I've played a lot worse.
It's like me inviting you to my restaurant and fucking your omelette.
(LAUGHS)
That's what it's like. Pringle pants, socks, jumper...
All the gear, no idea.
And no fucking bollocks. LAUGHTER
Right...
Ooh, look at that! Beautiful.