Rake (2010–2018): Season 2, Episode 3 - R vs Wooldridge & Anor - full transcript
Cleaver Greene is a dishonest lowlife
who spends his days
defending society's scum
and his nights carousing with them.
It is on, mofo!
I'm here to serve you with a summons.
Pardon?
Have you thought some more
about going back to work?
I don't want to go back to the Bar.
Ladies. The Thousand Lies
I Have Told, JM Doolan.
She a lawyer? Ex-prostitute.
Who was it? No-one.
Missy.
Jen, it seems JM Doolan's memoir,
A Thousand Lies I Have Told,
which records the author's life
as a high-class prostitute,
has sent shockwaves through both
Macquarie and Phillip Streets.
Do you have any insights
into JM Doolan's book
A Thousand Lies I've Told?
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Oh, God, no!
Craig Fraser
was so Catholic and guilt-ridden,
he always wept after intercourse.
Excuse me, Minister,
do you have any insight
into JM Doolan's book
A Thousand Lies I've Told?
I've never heard of it.
Surely you must have heard of it.
Not at all.
Nothing excited Marcus Wardell
more than wearing nappies.
Mr Justice O'Shea liked to be
locked in a confined space
while wearing a latex hood.
Well, maybe it's your fault!
Milo Markley had a tiny dick,
and this curse filled him
with an unrelenting rage.
Francine Pritchard took to hiding
a dildo under her judicial robes.
She used it in order to stay awake
during complex commercial trials.
Damian Chambers was not a client.
I saw him as someone
I ought to be in love with.
I saw him as a way out...
not only out of my life, as it was,
but also out of the law
of Mitchell Brown.
Mitchell was mercurial.
Oh, the blessings of a glad father
compass thee about.
Arise, and say how thou camest here.
How beauteous mankind is!
O, brave new world,
that hath such people in it.
Said virgin.
Oh, I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
Thanks for coming.
Highness. Oh, you're too kind.
Indeed I am.
You were the one snoring, right? No!
Mmm.
Oh, mate, that is a stinker! Really?
Apart from you. You are great.
And who'd dare to say you couldn't
play 15 so effectively?
Ivan!
Cleaver, I'd like you to meet
our illustrious director
and star, Ivan Uminsky.
Dosvedanya. Yes, it's great to meet you.
Listen, I don't want
to stay at this shit party.
Let's just go back to the hotel.
But they want to meet you,
they want to congratulate you.
For what - this fucking play?
Jesus, piece of shit Shakespeare!
Oh, Shakespeare.
Third time this week
the big dryer has broken down
before it consumes Caliban.
Honestly, do you really think
the problem with this show
is the big dryer breaking down?
Leave it.
Yes, yes! The fucking big dryer!
May we interrupt? Ladies! How are you?
Such a thrill to see you, Charlotte!
Did you enjoy the show, ladies?
Oh, yes, very much.
They did? Well, there you go, Charls.
Maybe it's not the worst
production of Shakespeare
in recorded history.
What would you fucking know?!
Oh, well, I know enough
to know that The Tempest
is Shakespeare's final great
testament to life and imagination,
and instead of setting it
on an Aegean island,
you've popped it
into a laundromat in Potts Point,
in which there's a spin dryer, that for
reasons probably unknown to the author,
is also some sort of a time machine.
Cleaver, enough.
I mean, what's next, mate?
Hamlet in a radiology clinic
on the Gold Coast?
Oh, Ivan! Fuck you! Let me go!
The Merchant Of Indooroopilly?
Ladies, let me introduce you...
The Two Gentlemen Of Wodonga?!
Let me go!
You know, you're right.
It was complete shit.
Cleaver Greene at your service.
How many?
I don't know, I haven't counted.
50? 100?
Yeah, 100 sounds about right.
100 murders?
Wow. How many have you got off?
My average is 51%.
That doesn't sound
very impressive, Mr Greene.
Not until you realise
99% of my clients are guilty.
My friend Emily and I
are making a short film,
for Tropfest.
It's about a couple of girls
who get away with murder.
Sort of Hitchcock meets Polanski.
Oh, yeah.
So, feel-good story, is it, then?
Jesus! Satre, Heraclitus, Nietzsche.
You love your light reading, don't you?
What can I say -
I'm a sucker for a nihilist?
Breakfast, darling.
Thanks, Mum.
Is that your mother?
Yeah.
Right. Right.
It's OK. She's cool.
OK, well, I'm sure she is,
but it's not really a good look, is it?
Why have you got pictures
of Charlotte Jardine
all around the place?
She's my aunt.
Aunt. Right. So, that's why you
were at the theatre last night.
How else do you think I got
opening night tickets?
Michelle. You're her niece Michelle.
Jesus! I was at your christening!
Michelle, how old are you?
How old do you think I am?
23. I'll be 16 in a couple of months.
Oh, shit! Fuck!
Don't worry,
you'll be invited to the party.
Oh, God!
Oh, Jesus, I didn't even think!
I swear to God!
Oh, Cleaver, you're not the first,
and besides, I invited you
back here, remember?
They'll be cool. How can they be cool?
How anyone be cool?
This is not... This is...
They shouldn't be cool!
It's a deeply heated situation.
Fuck! Fuck!
Taxi!
Hello? Baz.
No, listen, mate, now's not a good time.
Really? Who's the trainer?
Oh, yeah? OK.
They're approaching the bend.
Around the home turn,
and Canard Mort is leaving
the rest of the field for dead.
This two-year-old. 20:1 rank outsider.
He is streaking to a massive win.
Come on!
His first outing! Oh, come on!
Fuck! Oh!
This is the win of the carnival!
When did we last see a performance
as impressive as this?
Oh! Oh, yes!
Oh, no, she's lost the jockey!
The jockey has fallen off Canard Mort!
Dear God, the other riders
are trying to avoid Elliot,
and Canard Mort herself has come
to a complete halt.
Oh, what a tragedy.
Let's just hope there's a future
left for this plucky beast.
Dear, oh, dear, you've got to
fear the worst.
Did you know 'canard mort'
is French for 'dead duck'?
I do now.
Come on, mate.
A quick beating is a good beating.
You're 200 in the hole already, Cleave.
That's more than a beating, mate.
You know, I read about this bloke,
lost an eye at work,
got 100 grand pay-out.
Apparently there's this schedule
the insurance boys have got,
tell you how much an eye's worth,
or an arm or a leg...
Col. My question is this.
If one eye is worth 100 grand,
are both eyes worth 200?
OK, you're freaking me out.
Boss wants to have a word.
If I was you,
I would pull out all the stops.
Kirsty. Hey, Cleaver.
How lovely to see you. Yeah.
It's been too long.
Yeah, yeah. Shall we walk?
What a lovely idea.
You put me in a tricky position, Cleave.
200 grand's a lot of money,
and I don't want to have to hurt you,
you know, but I've got
a reputation to maintain.
I can't be seen to be being weak, right?
No, no, God, no.
The thing is, you were so kind
to me during Mick's trial,
and I've never forgotten that.
Truth is, I think about that... a lot.
Do you? Mm-hm.
Ah, that's lovely.
So, I don't want to make
any hasty decisions.
No, no, God! No, no.
I was wondering
if you would be interested
in coming and having a bite...
to eat with me... one time.
You know, that's a funny thing,
because I'm going to a party tonight
and I was asked
if I'd like to bring someone.
Would you like to come? Love to.
That's great. OK.
Um, I'll pick you up at seven.
Wonderful.
Oh, sorry. I should take this.
OK. Sorry.
Yeah? What did I tell you?
What did I fucking tell you?!
No, no, that is the wrong answer!
Listen, you tell him
if he doesn't deliver by Friday,
he's not gonna enjoy
waking up Saturday morning,
if he wakes up Saturday, you hear me?!
And cut.
That was really, really good.
That was great!
Holy shit.
So, what brand of bloody
and bizarre have we got here?
Movie shoot gone seriously wrong.
They're just schoolkids, barely 16.
You done with the knife?
Grollo. Guv.
Stunt knife. Use 'em all the time
in the movies.
Press this little button here,
blade retracts with pressure.
Release the button, it's a normal knife.
Where do two schoolgirls
get hold of that?
There's nothing you can't find
online these days.
Friend of mine got a bazooka
off eBay once.
Why am I not surprised?
I don't really get out much.
The last year's been really tricky,
what with taking over
Mick's business and everything,
and I really...
I didn't think I had it in me.
You know, I really...
God, I really didn't think that
I could have someone's legs broken.
But after the first few, it's... Yeah.
Well, you've gotta love your work.
Yeah! Yeah.
Look, thank you for a fantastic night.
You had a good time, didn't you?
Had a great time.
Yeah.
Well, goodnight.
You know it's still early?
I guess it is.
You did what? You heard me.
You rooted Mick's wife?
Are you out of your mind?!
Mate, I had no choice. I'm 200 down.
There was talk of blinding.
I don't know how to play this one.
I'm not surprised.
Are you free for lunch?
No, Cleave, I'm not going to see you.
Oh, Barn, come on, this is serious shit.
This is exactly the sort of shit
I don't want to be a part of any more.
Look, I... I need a mate, alright?
I hated going behind Scarlet's
back on that Fenton thing.
I can't do it any more.
Mate, I'm not asking you
to go behind her back.
I'm just asking you
to have a bloody drink.
They are the same thing, Cleave.
So, no more drinks,
no more lunches, no more cases.
Do you understand? Goodbye!
In other news,
two schoolgirls face
charges of manslaughter
after a tragic accident
whilst shooting a short film.
Police have confirmed that
an 18-year-old man was stabbed to death
after a so-called stunt turned deadly.
The girls,
who both attend the prestigious
private school Kelly House,
appeared to be in shock
as they were taken away by police
for questioning.
Kelly House released a statement
early this morning,
but did not comment specifically...
Charls.
Oh, Charls. Come on.
Come on. It's alright. It'll be alright.
It'll be alright. It'll be right.
We need you, Cleave.
Yeah, listen, anything I can do
to help. Anything, I'll be there.
So, you'll defend Michelle?
I meant anything in an abstract sense.
What?
Well, I can't... I mean, I'm too
close to... I'm too close to you.
I'm emotionally involved. I can't...
But that's exactly what we want...
someone we know will be in our corner.
Oh... This isn't about money, is it?
I mean, we're not asking
for a freebie...
No! No! It's... Well, then, what is it?
I've been there for you, Cleaver,
in some of your darkest moments!
Yeah.
I need you now. My niece needs you now.
It was one of the first things
she asked for
after they charged her.
What was?
She said, 'I want Cleaver Greene
to defend me.'
They're here, Cleave. Fine. Show 'em in.
Michelle. Hey, Cleaver.
Lovely to see you, despite
the unfortunate circumstances.
Charls.
Cleaver, you've met my sister
Caroline and her husband Ted.
Yes. Hi. Hi.
It's been a while. Please.
This is my instructing solicitor
Lincoln Lincoln.
Miss Jardine, it's an honour.
I'm a huge fan.
I must've seen
A Day's Remembrance... 12 times.
Alright, marvellous.
Could we get on with it now?
I don't know now.
I'm not sure of anything.
I thought I pushed the button in.
Em says she thought she pushed it in.
So, if Em pushed it in,
I may have released it.
Cleaver, is this really necessary?
Uh, look, we're going to have to
put Michelle in the box,
and she'll face tougher questions
than this.
But she's just an actor, Cleaver.
She isn't the one that bought the knife.
But she is the one we have on film
plunging it through the deceased's ribs.
She's a child!
Be that as it may, Ted,
the charge is manslaughter.
She's being tried as an adult.
Look, we'll adjourn
for the day there, OK?
Oh, um, Miss Jardine?
Um, if you don't mind,
could I just grab a quick...
Cleave, could you take...
If you just press the button...
It's not...
Lenses these days are amazing.
You just keep pressing
the button. I'll...
Thank you, thank you.
Just press...
Thanks.
Thank you, thank you.
Can I just... Oh!
Hi.
Fuck! What are you doing?
Well, I thought we could use
a moment alone.
I've been thinking about you.
Where are your parents?
In reception waiting for me.
Are you crazy?!
Take a breath, Cleave.
Everything's cool.
No, everything is not cool.
You told me you and Emily
were making a film about two girls
who get away with murder.
What can I say?
Life imitates art.
I'll call you later, gorgeous.
Oh, 'back in 20 minutes'!
I HATE 'back in 20 minutes'!
What does it even mean? What it mean?!
We don't know if he's been gone
for 1 minute, he's back in 19,
or if he's been gone
for 19 minutes, be back in 1!
So, if you think about it,
he's actually bought himself
a 40-minute window of opportunity.
Why can't they specify a time, huh?
It's now six o'clock.
I expect I'll be 20 minutes,
so I'll be back at 6:20.
How friggin' hard can it be?
You do the arithmetic, huh?
Because I have paying customers
and I care.
I guess he left 19 minutes ago.
Yeah.
For Christ's sake, just don't let
him get under your skin.
Harry. Harry, David. Come on.
How are you, mate?
Alright? Huh?
Alright, fuck the pleasantries.
Listen, let's sort this shit
out here, OK?
It doesn't have to go to court.
Yes, it does. You defamed me.
Alright, I said some things, you
said some things.
Let's call the whole thing quits.
Come on, I'll take you out
for a drink, what do you say?
Cleaver, I am a public figure,
and you deliberately set out
to damage my reputation.
Oh, you didn't set out to damage mine?
Damaging your reputation is like
trying to make shit stink!
If you're so upset about it, why
don't you make a counterclaim...
Alright, fine, mate. I'm trying to
be the reasonable one here...
'Cause you know I'll plead true,
and you know I'll win...
We'll take it into court
and waste their fucking time...
You're a disgrace of a human being!
More than happy to do it.
I'll see you inside.
Your Honour, in a former life,
the plaintiff, Mr Potter,
was briefed by the Australian Tax Office
to act in a matter against me...
a matter from which, I might add,
the ATO ultimately withdrew.
The plaintiff's defeat in this case
left him in what I would describe
as a dangerous state of mental health,
which was compounded
by the discovery that,
prior to their engagement,
I had been a long-time sexual
partner of his then fiance.
Having already pursued me
like a serial killer in one life,
the plaintiff was then able to use
parliamentary privilege
to savage my reputation in the next.
So, you see, Your Honour,
it is the plaintiff himself
who is the root cause of this matter.
This man is after vengeance
and not justice,
and I would therefore
respectfully request
that Your Honour dismiss it.
Yes, well, not in a month
of Sundays, Mr Greene.
What of mediation?
Your Honour, we have twice
written to Mr Greene
requesting mediation,
but he has not replied.
Your Honour, I would be more
than willing to attempt mediation.
I am completely persuaded
by Your Honour's argument.
Yes, well, I made no argument,
Mr Greene.
I merely asked a question.
But it was a question
laced with insight, Your Honour.
I'm so sorry.
He should be here in a second.
Would you like another coffee
or some water?
No, thank you. I'm fine.
Damian Chambers. Mitchell Brown!
My chapter's bigger than yours.
Hi.
So, how do you want to handle this?
Maturely, of course. Got a coin?
Read the whole thing...
Heads.
Hi, Mr McGregor. I'm Scarlet Meagher.
I'm sorry. Have you read
that book by the hooker?
Er, I am aware of it, yes.
Well, a very reliable source
just told me
that the bloke who's into nappies
is our transport minister.
Have a seat!
Would you like a drink?
I'm fine, thanks.
Engels? So my parents tell me.
Are you a leftie?
Pretty much. Is that a problem?
Pretty much, but I'm told
these days it's fashionable
to have opposition voices
inside the tent.
Helps to know what bullshit
they're gonna come up with.
So, you were at the Bar.
Criminal prosecution, mainly.
Mm-hm. Why the shift? I have three kids.
Three days a week here will be easier
than running
a full-time private practice.
Yeah, well, you're gonna have
to try harder than that, Engels.
You've got to want it.
Oh! Hold the friggin' phone.
It says here you were suspended
from practice for a year.
That's right. Well, what did you do?
I, uh...
I cross-examined a friend.
Rush of blood to the head.
Pretty bloody silly mistake,
if you ask me.
Things were a little tough at home
at the time.
Oh, OK, look, here's the deal.
I like you, very impressed
by your experience,
but this matter of suspension
calls into question
your judgment and/or ethics,
and either way, that makes you
a little hot for me.
I'm sorry. If you'd just give me...
No, I've interviewed
four others for this job,
and they've all got
less experience than you,
and they're dull as fucking paint,
but they've got
good right-wing credentials
and they don't have a rap sheet.
It's been nice chatting.
OK.
Just for the record,
this so-called friend who
I shouldn't have cross-examined...
Yeah? He's no friend.
In fact, he's brought nothing but
chaos and despair into my life.
Yes, well, we all have people
like that in our lives.
And yours is Cleaver Greene, right?
Well, so is mine, as it happens.
Oh, the stories I could tell you.
Oh, well.
No, no. No, no, wait, wait. Wait.
I had no idea there were
such mitigating factors.
This is very hard for me to say,
but when I finished reading your book,
I couldn't help but think that
for all his hideous flaws,
being Mitchell Brown sounded
better than being Damian Chambers.
There's no point of comparison.
David, you two belong
in separate universes.
Mine being the universe
of the school prefect.
No! You used those exact words.
Well, you're quoting me
out of context...
I've toughened up
since you've been away.
David...
Let's go and get a drink or something.
David, I'm engaged.
Ah. Yeah.
Congratulations.
Wow. Who is he?
The leak site? Yeah.
What about it?
I'm engaged to Joshua Floyd.
- Hello?
- Got my email?
Yes.
You have a webcam. Don't need one.
Lincoln's right. The lenses on
these new phones are amazing.
One assumes you can't capture
images in low light,
but look at you.
Yes, look at me.
Mmm, I'm so pleased
you're my barrister, Cleaver,
because having had sex with you,
I know you can get me off.
Oh, you've had a good day
by the looks of things.
Bloody Internet.
Is yours down? I wish!
I wish it had never been invented.
The end of civilisation as we know it.
Bring back paper, quills,
and carrier pigeons.
What's happened?
Nothing.
Nothing. What's this stuff with Fuzz?
Um, he just said he had something
to tell us.
Oh, yeah? What's it about?
Well, whatever it is,
let's just be calm.
If he has a problem,
then we need to be supportive
and work through it
with him rationally, OK?
Yes, Sister Wendy.
Mum? In here, darling!
Hi, mate!
What is it? What's up?
There's something
I need to tell you guys.
I've been seeing this girl
for the last year or so.
It's been pretty full-on. We're in love.
Oh! Goodo. Why the secrecy?
It's Sally. Sally? Sally who?
I don't know any Sally.
Yeah, you do.
It's Sally from across the road.
I'm really happy. Right.
Am I right in assuming that
there's no Sally Jr over there?
All that exercise. You haven't
been jogging in the afternoons.
Not vertically, it would seem.
The thing is, guys, we're pregnant.
Ah. Mum?
Mum, what are you doing? Hey, Wendy!
Mum! No, no!
Sally! Wendy! Wendy, I wouldn't!
Sally! Mum, stop!
Mum, she's not home!
Sally, you get out here now!
Wendy, she's not... Treacherous bitch!
Wendy, she's not home!
What is wrong with you?!
She's got a boy your age!
Look, let's just go back inside
and talk about this rationally...
There is nothing rational
about this situation.
This is totally insane!
What - because of the age difference?
Well, just for starters, mate, yeah.
You are such a hypocrite!
I beg your pardon.
Oh, it's alright for middle-aged
men like you
to go around having girlfriends...
That is not the point! Isn't it?
Oh, it's not as if your father
is gallivanting around town
rooting 17-year-olds,
so don't you make this about him!
Yes, don't make it about me.
I knew you wouldn't understand!
Look, mate, you can't go around
dropping bombs
and then whinge when everybody screams.
Says the man who's made dropping
bombs into an art form.
Maybe I have, but when I fuck up,
I take the heat.
You think this is a fuck-up? Isn't it?
Are you telling us you planned this?
It's my child we're talking about!
It's not a fuck-up!
First his English teacher, now Sally.
You know he's never brought home
a girl his own age.
This is officially a pattern.
Mmm. What have we done to him?
Oh, bit early to start blaming
ourselves, isn't it?
We should be doing what
other 21st-century parents
do at times like this -
blame someone else.
You know, there's the school,
there's general societal malaise,
there's your mother, GFC,
tensions in the Middle East.
We can blame any number of phenomenon
before we have to shine the old
searchlight of truth on ourselves,
and when we do, my darling,
I think you'll discover that
it's pretty much your fault.
Excuse me?
You know, it's Oedipus,
it's all that shit.
You're the shrink. I'm not amused.
I'm not saying it was deliberate,
you know.
You obviously just brushed your
hand up against it
when you were giving him a bath
when he was four or something,
and that was it.
I don't know who I can trust.
You know, any one of my friends
could be targets.
It was bad enough when you were
cracking onto them,
but both of you.
They'll have to work out a roster
or something.
Oh, no. Here we go.
Do you think this could
affect your profile in any way?
Leave her!
Charlotte, can you release a statement?
My client, Emily Carlton,
is a 16-year-old.
She attends the prestigious
girls school Kelly House
on a half-scholarship.
She's a straight-A student,
second in her year.
She's a member of
the debating, swimming, hockey,
and tennis teams,
and an accomplished equestrian
in her own right.
She's a member of Amnesty
International, Greenpeace,
and was voted Young Lion
in her district last year.
Needless to say,
she doesn't have the slightest
whiff of a criminal record,
yet this fine young girl you see
standing before you
is accused of the most terrible thing.
Causing the death
of another human being.
Ladies and gentlemen,
everything my learned friend has
said in his opening address
can also be applied to my client,
except that my client
was first in her year,
captain of the debating team,
and attends Kelly House
on a full scholarship.
Isn't this a school night?
And by school night, I mean
'aren't you both out on bail'?
Do your parents have any understanding
of the word 'curfew'?
Oh, come on, Cleave.
We're dying to see your place.
Oh, my God!
You're a barrister
and you live like this?
No, he's only criminal.
I'm definitely going corporate, then.
You do make more money
in corporate, right?
Listen, you two...
We're not very happy with you, Cleaver.
Really? Really.
Oh, well, am I going
to get some notes now?
Well, you know, your heart just
didn't seem to be in it today.
Are you OK?
We wanted to let you know
if there's anything we can do
to help you lift your game.
So, what is this - blackmail, yeah?
If I don't get you off,
your iPhone footage goes viral
and you cry rape and the judge
declares a mistrial
and the whole thing disappears,
is that the plan, Michelle?
The master plan, along with
bumping into me at the theatre.
You're right. He is a little
jaded and cynical, isn't he?
Yeah, but still very cute.
I guess. We better go.
Yes, we better.
See you, Cleave.
Fuck.
Oh! Hello?
Who are they, Cleave?
Who are who?
Don't you fuck me round!
The girls in your flat!
Kirsty, where are you?
Are you having me followed?
You have two girls
and they're hookers, aren't they?
They're hookers dressed up
like schoolgirls!
No, no, they're not! They're not!
They're not hookers! They're not
hookers dressed up as schoolgirls.
They were actual schoolgirls.
I mean, they were the schoolgirls
who were on trial
for murdering the actor.
What? Remember, I told you about it.
I'm defending one of 'em.
Oh. Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, oh, that's alright.
You know, it's understandable
enough with me, I guess.
Oh, how can I make it up to you?
Oh, hello.
Hey. Hey.
Dry-cleaning? Yeah.
I can drop it off in the morning
on my way to the office.
I found $50 in your pinstripe.
Ker-ching!
Mmm, and this is your grey serge.
Mmm, thanks.
That's Cleaver's handwriting.
Yeah, it must be from ages ago.
Leonard Fenton, wasn't it?
No, no. Lawrence.
Lawrence Fenton, I seem to recall.
We'd represented Lawrence before,
so can we just keep this in perspective.
I didn't want to upset you.
It wasn't that big a deal.
It was big enough for you
to lie to me about it.
Don't make this a thing.
It was just a case.
It's not like I...
Well, go on. Finish your sentence.
Coming up next
in our festival of classic thrillers,
two cold-blooded killers,
one hapless victim.
Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece Rope.
Have you seen Rope? What?
They're sociopaths, right?
Or psychopaths.
Bit of both, really.
So, I think they're my clients!
Or one of them is my client.
What - that little girl?
She can easily pass for 24, that girl.
Anyway, she and her friend
are both Hitchcock fans.
You know Rope is based on a true story.
Leopold and Loeb,
Chicago in the '20s, these...
Yes. Describe them.
Highly intelligent,
but emotionally infantile.
Go on.
Well, an IQ of 170
and the emotional maturity
of a five-year-old
is a pretty hairy combination,
psychologically.
From what I remember, these guys
believed they were supermen.
Supermen as in...
As in the Nietzschian view
that society was moving towards
the evolution of a superman
who would be beyond the laws
of good and evil.
Nietzsche.
I've always thought,
'Never trust men who wear capes.'
Are you sure you're on top of this?
Yes, I'm sure. You cannot cock this up.
Trust me, Cleave, OK.
I played Caiaphas in a school
production of Superstar.
I know what I'm doing. Jesus Christ.
Morning, Lou. Morning, Cleaver. Lincoln.
How was your evening?
Fine. How was yours?
Oh, you know, pretty relaxing.
Little bit of homework.
Watched a DVD.
Have you seen Hitchcock's Rope?
Oh, years ago, I think.
No, it's OK, Cleave.
It's a really interesting movie.
It's about these two young guys...
Yeah, yeah,
I'm sure Lou doesn't need to hear
about your evening highlights, mate.
Sorry, Cleave.
Rope? Yeah, I've seen that.
That's the one about the two
young thrill killers.
Oh, sorry, Cleave.
Oh, fuck.
And it transpires,
Your Honour, that this film Rope,
which depicts a premeditated murder
committed purely for the thrill of it,
was on the Kelly House Year Ten
visual arts curriculum.
Your Honour, I object.
O object in the strongest
possible terms.
Does my friend here really think
that he can bolster his paper-thin case
by tendering as evidence
a motion picture
made almost 50 years
before my client was born?
Your Honour, when the film
was made is entirely irrelevant.
For fuck's sake, guys,
what are we doing?
Are you just being silly? Bloody movies?
Have you seen this bloody movie, Robert?
These girls are carbon copies.
It's a joke, Robbo.
Cleaver's right, Lou.
It's also circumstantial.
I reckon they did it,
they set out to copy the movie,
only this time, of course,
they get away with it.
Then you should withdraw manslaughter
and hit 'em with murder.
Is that something
you're contemplating, Lou?
Because it would be a brave move
if all you've got's coincidence.
Nah. Alright, then.
Charge remains manslaughter.
Now, we all know
where this thing is going.
I'm not about to ruin these girls' lives
by sending them off to jail
for an accident,
so, please, can we wrap this thing up?
It's not good news, I'm afraid.
The judge has suggested
to the prosecution that...
he withdraw the manslaughter
charge and replace it with murder.
Now, I said if they did that,
that we'd immediately appeal
and take it all the way
to the High Court, if need be.
The judge has backed down,
but God knows what instructions
he's going to give to the jury.
Now, if the jury comes back
with a guilty verdict,
His Honour has indicated
that the girls will be doing
some serious time.
So, what options do we have?
Well, look, Emily was the director.
Emily bought the knife.
It was her house.
Emily was the one who downloaded Rope.
You were just an actor in this
thing, weren't you, Michelle,
so you had no influence over it
whatsoever, isn't that the case?
Darling.
OK, now, I need to have a quiet
word with Michelle, please.
Lincoln, my phone's died. Could
I possibly borrow yours, please?
Don't you have a landline?
I do, but I've been told that
my contract has expired.
It's gonna be OK.
OK, well, just be careful. It's got...
Hmm.
I'm the only thing
standing between you
and a lengthy jail term,
followed by a life of complete
misery, do you realise that?
I've been watching the judge.
I bet he's got daughters himself.
He's not about to give us serious time.
Really? Why would I lie to you?
To rattle me?
Maybe get me to strike some sort
of bargain with you?
Well, what sort of bargain
could I possibly strike?
You could have your little video
of us on 100 drives by now.
Exactly.
So, you know what the
consequences will be
if you don't get out there now
and do your fucking job.
I'd think very seriously about my
next step if I were you, Michelle.
I swear by Almighty God
that the evidence I shall give
shall be the truth,
the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth.
Please take a seat.
You and Emily have been best
friends for many years now.
We have, since we were five.
And you've studied and played together.
You've lived in and out
of each other's houses.
That's correct.
As close as friends can be?
You're also the smartest girls
in your class.
You're both exceptionally
well-read, both highly creative.
And through your Cinema Studies class,
you became devotees of Alfred Hitchcock.
You decided to emulate him
to make a film of your own.
I'm sorry, but when you say
'decided to emulate',
it wasn't me or even us.
It was Em who decided she wanted
to make the movie.
She wrote and directed it.
I was just an actress
without any influence, really.
She told me what to do.
She told you what to do.
Emily would like that, wouldn't she,
the girl who always came second.
Emily felt inferior to you, didn't she?
Objection! I'll allow it.
I don't know about that.
She was desperate to assert some
kind of superiority, wasn't she?
And this was the way
that she was gonna do it.
She was going to seduce you
into a situation
where she could direct you to
fulfil her own sick fantasies,
is that not the case?
Objection! Mr Greene, get to the point.
That is what happened,
isn't it, Michelle?
Emily is the one who turned
the knife into a weapon.
It was her plan, this was her idea.
You have to stop protecting her.
You lying bitch!
Emily! It was you!
You told me to download Rope...
Shut up, Em!
You picked up the guy at the party
and you told me that after
you stabbed him, you came!
This is completely outrageous!
Your Honour, I'd appreciate
an adjournment.
The Crown may wish
to amend the indictment
and replace the current charges with
charges of murder.
Why would I lie to you?
To rattle me, maybe get me
to strike some sort of bargain.
Well, what sort of bargain
could I possibly strike?
You could have your video of us
on 100 drives by now.
Exactly.
So you know
what the consequences will be
if you don't get out there now
and do your fucking job.
Apologies for the shitty framing.
She's a very ill girl, Charls.
You took advantage of her.
No.
Alright, I'll have anything that
incriminates you dealt with.
She still trusts me.
She idolises you.
She's barely 16.
She should have her whole life
ahead of her.
16 is the new 35.
I never want to see you again.
No. Figured that.
Miss Jardine? Miss Jardine?
Charlie?
Did you ever suspect...
Do you take any responsibility?
This has come as a great shock
to all of us in our family,
and our hearts go out
to the victim's family.
Obviously this is a tragic event,
and I'm still processing
the information.
It's very shocking. We just would
ask that you respect...
Nothing really changes, does it?
Tragically, no.
There's always one place
I know I can find you.
Yeah, well, there used to be two,
but that was when
I was a petulant child.
'Lost child'.
I think you'll find it's 'petulant'.
Oh, I wrote the fucking book,
Cleaver. It's 'lost'.
We should talk. Indeed we should.
I understand things are getting
right out of hand
in the Gaza Strip again.
I'm getting married, Cleave.
One engagement may look like
a misfortune.
Two look like a habit.
Why are you here?
I just want to talk to you. OK. Why?
Because you have an inquisitive mind.
Is that what you call it?
What would you say of my mind if I
told you that it had been seduced
by a 15-year-old sociopath?
Middle-aged men do not get
seduced by youth.
Oh, really? No.
You can't be seduced by something
you're already craving.
Saying that you'd been seduced
is just a bid for victim status.
Are you free for dinner tonight?
He gets in tomorrow.
O, brave new world that hath such
people in it.
I am effectively charged with treason.
Now, I could have fought extradition,
but I chose not to.
I have come home voluntarily.
It wasn't as though
I was touching the nipples.
I was metres away each time.
That's not a crime, is it?
I have my democratic rights
as a free citizen.
Sally! Come out and talk to me!
I have rights! It was my child too!
I can't believe you're asking us this.
The gall is gobsmacking,
even by your standards.
It's common practice.
Cleaver.
Oh, I'm sorry, I've forgotten
your name already.
Oh, I'm hard to avoid, aren't I?
who spends his days
defending society's scum
and his nights carousing with them.
It is on, mofo!
I'm here to serve you with a summons.
Pardon?
Have you thought some more
about going back to work?
I don't want to go back to the Bar.
Ladies. The Thousand Lies
I Have Told, JM Doolan.
She a lawyer? Ex-prostitute.
Who was it? No-one.
Missy.
Jen, it seems JM Doolan's memoir,
A Thousand Lies I Have Told,
which records the author's life
as a high-class prostitute,
has sent shockwaves through both
Macquarie and Phillip Streets.
Do you have any insights
into JM Doolan's book
A Thousand Lies I've Told?
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Oh, God, no!
Craig Fraser
was so Catholic and guilt-ridden,
he always wept after intercourse.
Excuse me, Minister,
do you have any insight
into JM Doolan's book
A Thousand Lies I've Told?
I've never heard of it.
Surely you must have heard of it.
Not at all.
Nothing excited Marcus Wardell
more than wearing nappies.
Mr Justice O'Shea liked to be
locked in a confined space
while wearing a latex hood.
Well, maybe it's your fault!
Milo Markley had a tiny dick,
and this curse filled him
with an unrelenting rage.
Francine Pritchard took to hiding
a dildo under her judicial robes.
She used it in order to stay awake
during complex commercial trials.
Damian Chambers was not a client.
I saw him as someone
I ought to be in love with.
I saw him as a way out...
not only out of my life, as it was,
but also out of the law
of Mitchell Brown.
Mitchell was mercurial.
Oh, the blessings of a glad father
compass thee about.
Arise, and say how thou camest here.
How beauteous mankind is!
O, brave new world,
that hath such people in it.
Said virgin.
Oh, I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
Thanks for coming.
Highness. Oh, you're too kind.
Indeed I am.
You were the one snoring, right? No!
Mmm.
Oh, mate, that is a stinker! Really?
Apart from you. You are great.
And who'd dare to say you couldn't
play 15 so effectively?
Ivan!
Cleaver, I'd like you to meet
our illustrious director
and star, Ivan Uminsky.
Dosvedanya. Yes, it's great to meet you.
Listen, I don't want
to stay at this shit party.
Let's just go back to the hotel.
But they want to meet you,
they want to congratulate you.
For what - this fucking play?
Jesus, piece of shit Shakespeare!
Oh, Shakespeare.
Third time this week
the big dryer has broken down
before it consumes Caliban.
Honestly, do you really think
the problem with this show
is the big dryer breaking down?
Leave it.
Yes, yes! The fucking big dryer!
May we interrupt? Ladies! How are you?
Such a thrill to see you, Charlotte!
Did you enjoy the show, ladies?
Oh, yes, very much.
They did? Well, there you go, Charls.
Maybe it's not the worst
production of Shakespeare
in recorded history.
What would you fucking know?!
Oh, well, I know enough
to know that The Tempest
is Shakespeare's final great
testament to life and imagination,
and instead of setting it
on an Aegean island,
you've popped it
into a laundromat in Potts Point,
in which there's a spin dryer, that for
reasons probably unknown to the author,
is also some sort of a time machine.
Cleaver, enough.
I mean, what's next, mate?
Hamlet in a radiology clinic
on the Gold Coast?
Oh, Ivan! Fuck you! Let me go!
The Merchant Of Indooroopilly?
Ladies, let me introduce you...
The Two Gentlemen Of Wodonga?!
Let me go!
You know, you're right.
It was complete shit.
Cleaver Greene at your service.
How many?
I don't know, I haven't counted.
50? 100?
Yeah, 100 sounds about right.
100 murders?
Wow. How many have you got off?
My average is 51%.
That doesn't sound
very impressive, Mr Greene.
Not until you realise
99% of my clients are guilty.
My friend Emily and I
are making a short film,
for Tropfest.
It's about a couple of girls
who get away with murder.
Sort of Hitchcock meets Polanski.
Oh, yeah.
So, feel-good story, is it, then?
Jesus! Satre, Heraclitus, Nietzsche.
You love your light reading, don't you?
What can I say -
I'm a sucker for a nihilist?
Breakfast, darling.
Thanks, Mum.
Is that your mother?
Yeah.
Right. Right.
It's OK. She's cool.
OK, well, I'm sure she is,
but it's not really a good look, is it?
Why have you got pictures
of Charlotte Jardine
all around the place?
She's my aunt.
Aunt. Right. So, that's why you
were at the theatre last night.
How else do you think I got
opening night tickets?
Michelle. You're her niece Michelle.
Jesus! I was at your christening!
Michelle, how old are you?
How old do you think I am?
23. I'll be 16 in a couple of months.
Oh, shit! Fuck!
Don't worry,
you'll be invited to the party.
Oh, God!
Oh, Jesus, I didn't even think!
I swear to God!
Oh, Cleaver, you're not the first,
and besides, I invited you
back here, remember?
They'll be cool. How can they be cool?
How anyone be cool?
This is not... This is...
They shouldn't be cool!
It's a deeply heated situation.
Fuck! Fuck!
Taxi!
Hello? Baz.
No, listen, mate, now's not a good time.
Really? Who's the trainer?
Oh, yeah? OK.
They're approaching the bend.
Around the home turn,
and Canard Mort is leaving
the rest of the field for dead.
This two-year-old. 20:1 rank outsider.
He is streaking to a massive win.
Come on!
His first outing! Oh, come on!
Fuck! Oh!
This is the win of the carnival!
When did we last see a performance
as impressive as this?
Oh! Oh, yes!
Oh, no, she's lost the jockey!
The jockey has fallen off Canard Mort!
Dear God, the other riders
are trying to avoid Elliot,
and Canard Mort herself has come
to a complete halt.
Oh, what a tragedy.
Let's just hope there's a future
left for this plucky beast.
Dear, oh, dear, you've got to
fear the worst.
Did you know 'canard mort'
is French for 'dead duck'?
I do now.
Come on, mate.
A quick beating is a good beating.
You're 200 in the hole already, Cleave.
That's more than a beating, mate.
You know, I read about this bloke,
lost an eye at work,
got 100 grand pay-out.
Apparently there's this schedule
the insurance boys have got,
tell you how much an eye's worth,
or an arm or a leg...
Col. My question is this.
If one eye is worth 100 grand,
are both eyes worth 200?
OK, you're freaking me out.
Boss wants to have a word.
If I was you,
I would pull out all the stops.
Kirsty. Hey, Cleaver.
How lovely to see you. Yeah.
It's been too long.
Yeah, yeah. Shall we walk?
What a lovely idea.
You put me in a tricky position, Cleave.
200 grand's a lot of money,
and I don't want to have to hurt you,
you know, but I've got
a reputation to maintain.
I can't be seen to be being weak, right?
No, no, God, no.
The thing is, you were so kind
to me during Mick's trial,
and I've never forgotten that.
Truth is, I think about that... a lot.
Do you? Mm-hm.
Ah, that's lovely.
So, I don't want to make
any hasty decisions.
No, no, God! No, no.
I was wondering
if you would be interested
in coming and having a bite...
to eat with me... one time.
You know, that's a funny thing,
because I'm going to a party tonight
and I was asked
if I'd like to bring someone.
Would you like to come? Love to.
That's great. OK.
Um, I'll pick you up at seven.
Wonderful.
Oh, sorry. I should take this.
OK. Sorry.
Yeah? What did I tell you?
What did I fucking tell you?!
No, no, that is the wrong answer!
Listen, you tell him
if he doesn't deliver by Friday,
he's not gonna enjoy
waking up Saturday morning,
if he wakes up Saturday, you hear me?!
And cut.
That was really, really good.
That was great!
Holy shit.
So, what brand of bloody
and bizarre have we got here?
Movie shoot gone seriously wrong.
They're just schoolkids, barely 16.
You done with the knife?
Grollo. Guv.
Stunt knife. Use 'em all the time
in the movies.
Press this little button here,
blade retracts with pressure.
Release the button, it's a normal knife.
Where do two schoolgirls
get hold of that?
There's nothing you can't find
online these days.
Friend of mine got a bazooka
off eBay once.
Why am I not surprised?
I don't really get out much.
The last year's been really tricky,
what with taking over
Mick's business and everything,
and I really...
I didn't think I had it in me.
You know, I really...
God, I really didn't think that
I could have someone's legs broken.
But after the first few, it's... Yeah.
Well, you've gotta love your work.
Yeah! Yeah.
Look, thank you for a fantastic night.
You had a good time, didn't you?
Had a great time.
Yeah.
Well, goodnight.
You know it's still early?
I guess it is.
You did what? You heard me.
You rooted Mick's wife?
Are you out of your mind?!
Mate, I had no choice. I'm 200 down.
There was talk of blinding.
I don't know how to play this one.
I'm not surprised.
Are you free for lunch?
No, Cleave, I'm not going to see you.
Oh, Barn, come on, this is serious shit.
This is exactly the sort of shit
I don't want to be a part of any more.
Look, I... I need a mate, alright?
I hated going behind Scarlet's
back on that Fenton thing.
I can't do it any more.
Mate, I'm not asking you
to go behind her back.
I'm just asking you
to have a bloody drink.
They are the same thing, Cleave.
So, no more drinks,
no more lunches, no more cases.
Do you understand? Goodbye!
In other news,
two schoolgirls face
charges of manslaughter
after a tragic accident
whilst shooting a short film.
Police have confirmed that
an 18-year-old man was stabbed to death
after a so-called stunt turned deadly.
The girls,
who both attend the prestigious
private school Kelly House,
appeared to be in shock
as they were taken away by police
for questioning.
Kelly House released a statement
early this morning,
but did not comment specifically...
Charls.
Oh, Charls. Come on.
Come on. It's alright. It'll be alright.
It'll be alright. It'll be right.
We need you, Cleave.
Yeah, listen, anything I can do
to help. Anything, I'll be there.
So, you'll defend Michelle?
I meant anything in an abstract sense.
What?
Well, I can't... I mean, I'm too
close to... I'm too close to you.
I'm emotionally involved. I can't...
But that's exactly what we want...
someone we know will be in our corner.
Oh... This isn't about money, is it?
I mean, we're not asking
for a freebie...
No! No! It's... Well, then, what is it?
I've been there for you, Cleaver,
in some of your darkest moments!
Yeah.
I need you now. My niece needs you now.
It was one of the first things
she asked for
after they charged her.
What was?
She said, 'I want Cleaver Greene
to defend me.'
They're here, Cleave. Fine. Show 'em in.
Michelle. Hey, Cleaver.
Lovely to see you, despite
the unfortunate circumstances.
Charls.
Cleaver, you've met my sister
Caroline and her husband Ted.
Yes. Hi. Hi.
It's been a while. Please.
This is my instructing solicitor
Lincoln Lincoln.
Miss Jardine, it's an honour.
I'm a huge fan.
I must've seen
A Day's Remembrance... 12 times.
Alright, marvellous.
Could we get on with it now?
I don't know now.
I'm not sure of anything.
I thought I pushed the button in.
Em says she thought she pushed it in.
So, if Em pushed it in,
I may have released it.
Cleaver, is this really necessary?
Uh, look, we're going to have to
put Michelle in the box,
and she'll face tougher questions
than this.
But she's just an actor, Cleaver.
She isn't the one that bought the knife.
But she is the one we have on film
plunging it through the deceased's ribs.
She's a child!
Be that as it may, Ted,
the charge is manslaughter.
She's being tried as an adult.
Look, we'll adjourn
for the day there, OK?
Oh, um, Miss Jardine?
Um, if you don't mind,
could I just grab a quick...
Cleave, could you take...
If you just press the button...
It's not...
Lenses these days are amazing.
You just keep pressing
the button. I'll...
Thank you, thank you.
Just press...
Thanks.
Thank you, thank you.
Can I just... Oh!
Hi.
Fuck! What are you doing?
Well, I thought we could use
a moment alone.
I've been thinking about you.
Where are your parents?
In reception waiting for me.
Are you crazy?!
Take a breath, Cleave.
Everything's cool.
No, everything is not cool.
You told me you and Emily
were making a film about two girls
who get away with murder.
What can I say?
Life imitates art.
I'll call you later, gorgeous.
Oh, 'back in 20 minutes'!
I HATE 'back in 20 minutes'!
What does it even mean? What it mean?!
We don't know if he's been gone
for 1 minute, he's back in 19,
or if he's been gone
for 19 minutes, be back in 1!
So, if you think about it,
he's actually bought himself
a 40-minute window of opportunity.
Why can't they specify a time, huh?
It's now six o'clock.
I expect I'll be 20 minutes,
so I'll be back at 6:20.
How friggin' hard can it be?
You do the arithmetic, huh?
Because I have paying customers
and I care.
I guess he left 19 minutes ago.
Yeah.
For Christ's sake, just don't let
him get under your skin.
Harry. Harry, David. Come on.
How are you, mate?
Alright? Huh?
Alright, fuck the pleasantries.
Listen, let's sort this shit
out here, OK?
It doesn't have to go to court.
Yes, it does. You defamed me.
Alright, I said some things, you
said some things.
Let's call the whole thing quits.
Come on, I'll take you out
for a drink, what do you say?
Cleaver, I am a public figure,
and you deliberately set out
to damage my reputation.
Oh, you didn't set out to damage mine?
Damaging your reputation is like
trying to make shit stink!
If you're so upset about it, why
don't you make a counterclaim...
Alright, fine, mate. I'm trying to
be the reasonable one here...
'Cause you know I'll plead true,
and you know I'll win...
We'll take it into court
and waste their fucking time...
You're a disgrace of a human being!
More than happy to do it.
I'll see you inside.
Your Honour, in a former life,
the plaintiff, Mr Potter,
was briefed by the Australian Tax Office
to act in a matter against me...
a matter from which, I might add,
the ATO ultimately withdrew.
The plaintiff's defeat in this case
left him in what I would describe
as a dangerous state of mental health,
which was compounded
by the discovery that,
prior to their engagement,
I had been a long-time sexual
partner of his then fiance.
Having already pursued me
like a serial killer in one life,
the plaintiff was then able to use
parliamentary privilege
to savage my reputation in the next.
So, you see, Your Honour,
it is the plaintiff himself
who is the root cause of this matter.
This man is after vengeance
and not justice,
and I would therefore
respectfully request
that Your Honour dismiss it.
Yes, well, not in a month
of Sundays, Mr Greene.
What of mediation?
Your Honour, we have twice
written to Mr Greene
requesting mediation,
but he has not replied.
Your Honour, I would be more
than willing to attempt mediation.
I am completely persuaded
by Your Honour's argument.
Yes, well, I made no argument,
Mr Greene.
I merely asked a question.
But it was a question
laced with insight, Your Honour.
I'm so sorry.
He should be here in a second.
Would you like another coffee
or some water?
No, thank you. I'm fine.
Damian Chambers. Mitchell Brown!
My chapter's bigger than yours.
Hi.
So, how do you want to handle this?
Maturely, of course. Got a coin?
Read the whole thing...
Heads.
Hi, Mr McGregor. I'm Scarlet Meagher.
I'm sorry. Have you read
that book by the hooker?
Er, I am aware of it, yes.
Well, a very reliable source
just told me
that the bloke who's into nappies
is our transport minister.
Have a seat!
Would you like a drink?
I'm fine, thanks.
Engels? So my parents tell me.
Are you a leftie?
Pretty much. Is that a problem?
Pretty much, but I'm told
these days it's fashionable
to have opposition voices
inside the tent.
Helps to know what bullshit
they're gonna come up with.
So, you were at the Bar.
Criminal prosecution, mainly.
Mm-hm. Why the shift? I have three kids.
Three days a week here will be easier
than running
a full-time private practice.
Yeah, well, you're gonna have
to try harder than that, Engels.
You've got to want it.
Oh! Hold the friggin' phone.
It says here you were suspended
from practice for a year.
That's right. Well, what did you do?
I, uh...
I cross-examined a friend.
Rush of blood to the head.
Pretty bloody silly mistake,
if you ask me.
Things were a little tough at home
at the time.
Oh, OK, look, here's the deal.
I like you, very impressed
by your experience,
but this matter of suspension
calls into question
your judgment and/or ethics,
and either way, that makes you
a little hot for me.
I'm sorry. If you'd just give me...
No, I've interviewed
four others for this job,
and they've all got
less experience than you,
and they're dull as fucking paint,
but they've got
good right-wing credentials
and they don't have a rap sheet.
It's been nice chatting.
OK.
Just for the record,
this so-called friend who
I shouldn't have cross-examined...
Yeah? He's no friend.
In fact, he's brought nothing but
chaos and despair into my life.
Yes, well, we all have people
like that in our lives.
And yours is Cleaver Greene, right?
Well, so is mine, as it happens.
Oh, the stories I could tell you.
Oh, well.
No, no. No, no, wait, wait. Wait.
I had no idea there were
such mitigating factors.
This is very hard for me to say,
but when I finished reading your book,
I couldn't help but think that
for all his hideous flaws,
being Mitchell Brown sounded
better than being Damian Chambers.
There's no point of comparison.
David, you two belong
in separate universes.
Mine being the universe
of the school prefect.
No! You used those exact words.
Well, you're quoting me
out of context...
I've toughened up
since you've been away.
David...
Let's go and get a drink or something.
David, I'm engaged.
Ah. Yeah.
Congratulations.
Wow. Who is he?
The leak site? Yeah.
What about it?
I'm engaged to Joshua Floyd.
- Hello?
- Got my email?
Yes.
You have a webcam. Don't need one.
Lincoln's right. The lenses on
these new phones are amazing.
One assumes you can't capture
images in low light,
but look at you.
Yes, look at me.
Mmm, I'm so pleased
you're my barrister, Cleaver,
because having had sex with you,
I know you can get me off.
Oh, you've had a good day
by the looks of things.
Bloody Internet.
Is yours down? I wish!
I wish it had never been invented.
The end of civilisation as we know it.
Bring back paper, quills,
and carrier pigeons.
What's happened?
Nothing.
Nothing. What's this stuff with Fuzz?
Um, he just said he had something
to tell us.
Oh, yeah? What's it about?
Well, whatever it is,
let's just be calm.
If he has a problem,
then we need to be supportive
and work through it
with him rationally, OK?
Yes, Sister Wendy.
Mum? In here, darling!
Hi, mate!
What is it? What's up?
There's something
I need to tell you guys.
I've been seeing this girl
for the last year or so.
It's been pretty full-on. We're in love.
Oh! Goodo. Why the secrecy?
It's Sally. Sally? Sally who?
I don't know any Sally.
Yeah, you do.
It's Sally from across the road.
I'm really happy. Right.
Am I right in assuming that
there's no Sally Jr over there?
All that exercise. You haven't
been jogging in the afternoons.
Not vertically, it would seem.
The thing is, guys, we're pregnant.
Ah. Mum?
Mum, what are you doing? Hey, Wendy!
Mum! No, no!
Sally! Wendy! Wendy, I wouldn't!
Sally! Mum, stop!
Mum, she's not home!
Sally, you get out here now!
Wendy, she's not... Treacherous bitch!
Wendy, she's not home!
What is wrong with you?!
She's got a boy your age!
Look, let's just go back inside
and talk about this rationally...
There is nothing rational
about this situation.
This is totally insane!
What - because of the age difference?
Well, just for starters, mate, yeah.
You are such a hypocrite!
I beg your pardon.
Oh, it's alright for middle-aged
men like you
to go around having girlfriends...
That is not the point! Isn't it?
Oh, it's not as if your father
is gallivanting around town
rooting 17-year-olds,
so don't you make this about him!
Yes, don't make it about me.
I knew you wouldn't understand!
Look, mate, you can't go around
dropping bombs
and then whinge when everybody screams.
Says the man who's made dropping
bombs into an art form.
Maybe I have, but when I fuck up,
I take the heat.
You think this is a fuck-up? Isn't it?
Are you telling us you planned this?
It's my child we're talking about!
It's not a fuck-up!
First his English teacher, now Sally.
You know he's never brought home
a girl his own age.
This is officially a pattern.
Mmm. What have we done to him?
Oh, bit early to start blaming
ourselves, isn't it?
We should be doing what
other 21st-century parents
do at times like this -
blame someone else.
You know, there's the school,
there's general societal malaise,
there's your mother, GFC,
tensions in the Middle East.
We can blame any number of phenomenon
before we have to shine the old
searchlight of truth on ourselves,
and when we do, my darling,
I think you'll discover that
it's pretty much your fault.
Excuse me?
You know, it's Oedipus,
it's all that shit.
You're the shrink. I'm not amused.
I'm not saying it was deliberate,
you know.
You obviously just brushed your
hand up against it
when you were giving him a bath
when he was four or something,
and that was it.
I don't know who I can trust.
You know, any one of my friends
could be targets.
It was bad enough when you were
cracking onto them,
but both of you.
They'll have to work out a roster
or something.
Oh, no. Here we go.
Do you think this could
affect your profile in any way?
Leave her!
Charlotte, can you release a statement?
My client, Emily Carlton,
is a 16-year-old.
She attends the prestigious
girls school Kelly House
on a half-scholarship.
She's a straight-A student,
second in her year.
She's a member of
the debating, swimming, hockey,
and tennis teams,
and an accomplished equestrian
in her own right.
She's a member of Amnesty
International, Greenpeace,
and was voted Young Lion
in her district last year.
Needless to say,
she doesn't have the slightest
whiff of a criminal record,
yet this fine young girl you see
standing before you
is accused of the most terrible thing.
Causing the death
of another human being.
Ladies and gentlemen,
everything my learned friend has
said in his opening address
can also be applied to my client,
except that my client
was first in her year,
captain of the debating team,
and attends Kelly House
on a full scholarship.
Isn't this a school night?
And by school night, I mean
'aren't you both out on bail'?
Do your parents have any understanding
of the word 'curfew'?
Oh, come on, Cleave.
We're dying to see your place.
Oh, my God!
You're a barrister
and you live like this?
No, he's only criminal.
I'm definitely going corporate, then.
You do make more money
in corporate, right?
Listen, you two...
We're not very happy with you, Cleaver.
Really? Really.
Oh, well, am I going
to get some notes now?
Well, you know, your heart just
didn't seem to be in it today.
Are you OK?
We wanted to let you know
if there's anything we can do
to help you lift your game.
So, what is this - blackmail, yeah?
If I don't get you off,
your iPhone footage goes viral
and you cry rape and the judge
declares a mistrial
and the whole thing disappears,
is that the plan, Michelle?
The master plan, along with
bumping into me at the theatre.
You're right. He is a little
jaded and cynical, isn't he?
Yeah, but still very cute.
I guess. We better go.
Yes, we better.
See you, Cleave.
Fuck.
Oh! Hello?
Who are they, Cleave?
Who are who?
Don't you fuck me round!
The girls in your flat!
Kirsty, where are you?
Are you having me followed?
You have two girls
and they're hookers, aren't they?
They're hookers dressed up
like schoolgirls!
No, no, they're not! They're not!
They're not hookers! They're not
hookers dressed up as schoolgirls.
They were actual schoolgirls.
I mean, they were the schoolgirls
who were on trial
for murdering the actor.
What? Remember, I told you about it.
I'm defending one of 'em.
Oh. Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, oh, that's alright.
You know, it's understandable
enough with me, I guess.
Oh, how can I make it up to you?
Oh, hello.
Hey. Hey.
Dry-cleaning? Yeah.
I can drop it off in the morning
on my way to the office.
I found $50 in your pinstripe.
Ker-ching!
Mmm, and this is your grey serge.
Mmm, thanks.
That's Cleaver's handwriting.
Yeah, it must be from ages ago.
Leonard Fenton, wasn't it?
No, no. Lawrence.
Lawrence Fenton, I seem to recall.
We'd represented Lawrence before,
so can we just keep this in perspective.
I didn't want to upset you.
It wasn't that big a deal.
It was big enough for you
to lie to me about it.
Don't make this a thing.
It was just a case.
It's not like I...
Well, go on. Finish your sentence.
Coming up next
in our festival of classic thrillers,
two cold-blooded killers,
one hapless victim.
Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece Rope.
Have you seen Rope? What?
They're sociopaths, right?
Or psychopaths.
Bit of both, really.
So, I think they're my clients!
Or one of them is my client.
What - that little girl?
She can easily pass for 24, that girl.
Anyway, she and her friend
are both Hitchcock fans.
You know Rope is based on a true story.
Leopold and Loeb,
Chicago in the '20s, these...
Yes. Describe them.
Highly intelligent,
but emotionally infantile.
Go on.
Well, an IQ of 170
and the emotional maturity
of a five-year-old
is a pretty hairy combination,
psychologically.
From what I remember, these guys
believed they were supermen.
Supermen as in...
As in the Nietzschian view
that society was moving towards
the evolution of a superman
who would be beyond the laws
of good and evil.
Nietzsche.
I've always thought,
'Never trust men who wear capes.'
Are you sure you're on top of this?
Yes, I'm sure. You cannot cock this up.
Trust me, Cleave, OK.
I played Caiaphas in a school
production of Superstar.
I know what I'm doing. Jesus Christ.
Morning, Lou. Morning, Cleaver. Lincoln.
How was your evening?
Fine. How was yours?
Oh, you know, pretty relaxing.
Little bit of homework.
Watched a DVD.
Have you seen Hitchcock's Rope?
Oh, years ago, I think.
No, it's OK, Cleave.
It's a really interesting movie.
It's about these two young guys...
Yeah, yeah,
I'm sure Lou doesn't need to hear
about your evening highlights, mate.
Sorry, Cleave.
Rope? Yeah, I've seen that.
That's the one about the two
young thrill killers.
Oh, sorry, Cleave.
Oh, fuck.
And it transpires,
Your Honour, that this film Rope,
which depicts a premeditated murder
committed purely for the thrill of it,
was on the Kelly House Year Ten
visual arts curriculum.
Your Honour, I object.
O object in the strongest
possible terms.
Does my friend here really think
that he can bolster his paper-thin case
by tendering as evidence
a motion picture
made almost 50 years
before my client was born?
Your Honour, when the film
was made is entirely irrelevant.
For fuck's sake, guys,
what are we doing?
Are you just being silly? Bloody movies?
Have you seen this bloody movie, Robert?
These girls are carbon copies.
It's a joke, Robbo.
Cleaver's right, Lou.
It's also circumstantial.
I reckon they did it,
they set out to copy the movie,
only this time, of course,
they get away with it.
Then you should withdraw manslaughter
and hit 'em with murder.
Is that something
you're contemplating, Lou?
Because it would be a brave move
if all you've got's coincidence.
Nah. Alright, then.
Charge remains manslaughter.
Now, we all know
where this thing is going.
I'm not about to ruin these girls' lives
by sending them off to jail
for an accident,
so, please, can we wrap this thing up?
It's not good news, I'm afraid.
The judge has suggested
to the prosecution that...
he withdraw the manslaughter
charge and replace it with murder.
Now, I said if they did that,
that we'd immediately appeal
and take it all the way
to the High Court, if need be.
The judge has backed down,
but God knows what instructions
he's going to give to the jury.
Now, if the jury comes back
with a guilty verdict,
His Honour has indicated
that the girls will be doing
some serious time.
So, what options do we have?
Well, look, Emily was the director.
Emily bought the knife.
It was her house.
Emily was the one who downloaded Rope.
You were just an actor in this
thing, weren't you, Michelle,
so you had no influence over it
whatsoever, isn't that the case?
Darling.
OK, now, I need to have a quiet
word with Michelle, please.
Lincoln, my phone's died. Could
I possibly borrow yours, please?
Don't you have a landline?
I do, but I've been told that
my contract has expired.
It's gonna be OK.
OK, well, just be careful. It's got...
Hmm.
I'm the only thing
standing between you
and a lengthy jail term,
followed by a life of complete
misery, do you realise that?
I've been watching the judge.
I bet he's got daughters himself.
He's not about to give us serious time.
Really? Why would I lie to you?
To rattle me?
Maybe get me to strike some sort
of bargain with you?
Well, what sort of bargain
could I possibly strike?
You could have your little video
of us on 100 drives by now.
Exactly.
So, you know what the
consequences will be
if you don't get out there now
and do your fucking job.
I'd think very seriously about my
next step if I were you, Michelle.
I swear by Almighty God
that the evidence I shall give
shall be the truth,
the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth.
Please take a seat.
You and Emily have been best
friends for many years now.
We have, since we were five.
And you've studied and played together.
You've lived in and out
of each other's houses.
That's correct.
As close as friends can be?
You're also the smartest girls
in your class.
You're both exceptionally
well-read, both highly creative.
And through your Cinema Studies class,
you became devotees of Alfred Hitchcock.
You decided to emulate him
to make a film of your own.
I'm sorry, but when you say
'decided to emulate',
it wasn't me or even us.
It was Em who decided she wanted
to make the movie.
She wrote and directed it.
I was just an actress
without any influence, really.
She told me what to do.
She told you what to do.
Emily would like that, wouldn't she,
the girl who always came second.
Emily felt inferior to you, didn't she?
Objection! I'll allow it.
I don't know about that.
She was desperate to assert some
kind of superiority, wasn't she?
And this was the way
that she was gonna do it.
She was going to seduce you
into a situation
where she could direct you to
fulfil her own sick fantasies,
is that not the case?
Objection! Mr Greene, get to the point.
That is what happened,
isn't it, Michelle?
Emily is the one who turned
the knife into a weapon.
It was her plan, this was her idea.
You have to stop protecting her.
You lying bitch!
Emily! It was you!
You told me to download Rope...
Shut up, Em!
You picked up the guy at the party
and you told me that after
you stabbed him, you came!
This is completely outrageous!
Your Honour, I'd appreciate
an adjournment.
The Crown may wish
to amend the indictment
and replace the current charges with
charges of murder.
Why would I lie to you?
To rattle me, maybe get me
to strike some sort of bargain.
Well, what sort of bargain
could I possibly strike?
You could have your video of us
on 100 drives by now.
Exactly.
So you know
what the consequences will be
if you don't get out there now
and do your fucking job.
Apologies for the shitty framing.
She's a very ill girl, Charls.
You took advantage of her.
No.
Alright, I'll have anything that
incriminates you dealt with.
She still trusts me.
She idolises you.
She's barely 16.
She should have her whole life
ahead of her.
16 is the new 35.
I never want to see you again.
No. Figured that.
Miss Jardine? Miss Jardine?
Charlie?
Did you ever suspect...
Do you take any responsibility?
This has come as a great shock
to all of us in our family,
and our hearts go out
to the victim's family.
Obviously this is a tragic event,
and I'm still processing
the information.
It's very shocking. We just would
ask that you respect...
Nothing really changes, does it?
Tragically, no.
There's always one place
I know I can find you.
Yeah, well, there used to be two,
but that was when
I was a petulant child.
'Lost child'.
I think you'll find it's 'petulant'.
Oh, I wrote the fucking book,
Cleaver. It's 'lost'.
We should talk. Indeed we should.
I understand things are getting
right out of hand
in the Gaza Strip again.
I'm getting married, Cleave.
One engagement may look like
a misfortune.
Two look like a habit.
Why are you here?
I just want to talk to you. OK. Why?
Because you have an inquisitive mind.
Is that what you call it?
What would you say of my mind if I
told you that it had been seduced
by a 15-year-old sociopath?
Middle-aged men do not get
seduced by youth.
Oh, really? No.
You can't be seduced by something
you're already craving.
Saying that you'd been seduced
is just a bid for victim status.
Are you free for dinner tonight?
He gets in tomorrow.
O, brave new world that hath such
people in it.
I am effectively charged with treason.
Now, I could have fought extradition,
but I chose not to.
I have come home voluntarily.
It wasn't as though
I was touching the nipples.
I was metres away each time.
That's not a crime, is it?
I have my democratic rights
as a free citizen.
Sally! Come out and talk to me!
I have rights! It was my child too!
I can't believe you're asking us this.
The gall is gobsmacking,
even by your standards.
It's common practice.
Cleaver.
Oh, I'm sorry, I've forgotten
your name already.
Oh, I'm hard to avoid, aren't I?