Rake (2010–2018): Season 1, Episode 7 - R vs Tanner - full transcript
God, what is that smell?
Mr Greene, you are in contempt.
Remove this man from my court
and place him in remand.
G'day, Tuva. How are you, mate?
I'm unchaining you.
I still have feelings for you.
I doubt you ever have.
You're doing coke again, aren't you?
You know you can't handle it.
If I was Joe Average
instead of Joe Sandilands,
I wouldn't be voting for us.
May I add something? Of course.
Can anyone here lend me a car
for the weekend?
I want you to talk to him about Vampira.
He hasn't spoken to me
since I kicked her out of my place.
David and I are getting married.
Oh, well, this is bloody riveting.
What's up, Dad?
What do you mean? You're smiling.
Yeah.
Weird, isn't it?
Attorney-General Joe Sandilands
has confirmed that
he is one of 14 state MPs
who has regularly attended
the exclusive Darlinghurst brothel
known as Club Jules.
Footage of Mr Sandilands
leaving the brothel
was released via YouTube last night.
In a statement released this morning,
the Attorney-General
expressed deep regret...
Oh, Joe. You poor bastard.
..let down his family, supporters
and his colleagues.
The Premier is yet to make a statement.
No luck, I'm afraid. You're kidding me.
No-one on this floor
has a single Panadol?
Panamax?
Disprin, aspirin, codeine,
Nurofen, in one form or another?
I'll take it anally if required.
What can I say?
This floor is loaded with booze,
coke, sex toys, debt, but no...
I don't need my resume
shouted back at me, woman!
Gun? Check.
Knife? Check.
Stockings?
You were in charge of the fucking
stockings, Tones. Bullshit, I was!
Good evening.
Uh.
Uh, I have the stepmother
of all headaches.
A headache, you say?
Yes.
I'd like something strong for it,
if possible.
Be with you in a moment.
Arggh!
Put your fuckin' hands in the air now!
Open the fuckin' till.
Hurry up, man!
Fellas, what are you doing?
Open it! Boys, you're on candid camera.
Shut up! Hurry up, mate!
I'd just cut my losses
and bolt if I were you.
I said, put your hands in the air.
Is that branch loaded, mate?
Shut up, smart-arse. Mate, I know
a thing or two about the law.
Not much, granted,
but if you just bolt now...
Hurry up! What are you doing?
I can't get it open! Leave it! Let's go!
Stay down!
Hurry up, Tones. Let's go!
Come on!
Ugh!
Oh fuck, Tones! Get up!
Tones, come on. Tones!
Tones! Come on, man!
You're in luck.
This should do the trick.
Fuckin' hell. Oh, fuck!
Where's my parade?
Beg your pardon?
He gets called a hero, he gets a safe
seat in Parliament, he gets my girl.
Ow. What do I get?
Hello?
Barn?
So are you gonna die?
Well, I've been thinking a bit
about it lately.
Barn!
Don't ever pull this stunt again.
I'm not your next of kin.
In fact, I couldn't imagine
a worse fate.
I had a mental blank.
You just don't get it, do you?
We don't exist any longer, Cleaver.
I'm not going to bail you out
or loan you any more money,
or listen to you rationalise
your pathetic self-indulgences.
Alright.
If you can't get over a little grudge -
A little grudge!
He screwed my wife.
Barn, it's you and me, mate.
Come on, we can get over this.
I'm already over it... mate.
I'm over it.
I'm over Scarlet, and I'm over you.
Ta-ta.
Sorry, this might be a little tight.
Ow, fuck!
Until I'm informed otherwise, this is
our house and they're our children.
OK.
Have you seen this?
'Glebe woman bashed and robbed.'
No, below that.
'Barista assault...'
'Barista assaulted
in Kings Cross chemist.'
Pretty funny, don't you think?
You haven't made a cup of coffee
for yourself since I've known you.
How come Glebe woman
gets a bigger story than me?
I mean, she's just Glebe woman.
Her only significant achievement's
having an address.
I at least have a profession.
Oh, I'd kill for a skinny latte
right now, thanks.
And how come Glebe woman gets bashed,
and I get assaulted?
I mean, 'bashed' sounds so much worse.
Oh, it's a blessing in disguise.
Well, it's a bloody good disguise.
You're briefed to appear
for Travis Simon Tanner,
who is alleged to have assaulted
and robbed...
Glebe woman.
And I'm gonna get the bugger off.
She's going to find out who's boss.
I'll show Glebe woman what it's like
to be below the fold.
Yes, you do that.
Oh, by the way,
can I have a muffin to go?
He's 19, he has two priors
as a juvenile for...
Violent assault and robbery.
Excellent.
Just got out of Grafton. This is
his first charge as an adult.
I'm not even going to try and hide
my disappointment, Simone.
I was hoping our Mr Tanner
might be innocent.
You see, I have a score to settle.
Well, before you fall into
a deep despond,
it seems very possible that
the police may have jumped the gun
and picked up an easy target.
How so?
Because whilst our Mr Tanner does
fit the description given by Ms...
Ja...
Jajou? Ja... Jajou...
Yeah, Glebe woman. Quite.
We have a witness who says
she saw him in the city
at precisely the time
the attack was alleged to have
taken place in Glebe on...
Glebe woman.
Really?
Yes.
And this, you see, is how
you came to get this brief.
How?
Apparently the witness
is a friend of yours.
Who?
It was about 8:00.
I was late to meet David,
so I bolted out onto Phillip Street,
and wham, we collided.
I dropped everything.
He was very apologetic and helped me
pick up my stuff,
and we chatted for a minute
and introduced ourselves.
And he told you his name? Yeah, Travis.
Travis Tanner.
Next morning, I'm listening to the radio
and after all that bullshit
about the election,
I hear this story
about this woman from Glebe...
Glebe woman.
Yeah, who was assaulted at about 8:00,
and that a Travis Tanner
had been charged.
Right. Nothing on the radio
about a barista from Kings Cross?
No.
Anyway, I thought there can't be
that many Travis Tanners.
So I give the Crown Defender's
office a call,
and I get his solicitor's name
and I tell her what I saw.
And?
And Simone and I got chatting and I
mentioned your name and...
Uh, any distinguishing features?
Yeah.
A barbed wire tatt on his shoulder.
His left, I think.
I've got to get back. OK.
OK.
You know this is proof, don't you?
Proof of what?
Proof of our spiritual connection.
We both witness assaults
on the same night.
In some cultures,
we'd be forced to marry.
Well, I guess we're lucky
we live in a city
where the spiritual
doesn't count for much.
What were you doing
in Phillip Street, Travis?
I'm stayin' in some shithole
near Central.
The halfway house? Yeah.
Went down to see the harbour
and the bridge and that.
Right. Were you gonna meet
some mates down there?
Nuh.
Just wanted to see the blue.
The colour blue? Yeah.
But it wasn't sunny that day, was it?
The night before, forecast was sweet.
Fine and sunny all day, but they're
all just full of shit.
Oh, don't get me started
on weathermen, mate.
How long did you stay
down by the harbour?
Probably... most of the day.
Despite the absence of the colour blue?
Blue would have been nice, but...
I just got to walk round
like a regular bloke.
Mm.
The sun went down,
and I just stared at the lights.
It was good.
And then you, uh, just walked back
to the old halfway house?
Yep.
Past the law school.
Why'd you go that way?
Huh! I don't know Sydney that well.
I'm from Taree.
But it was outside the law school
that you bumped into Ms Partridge.
Well, they tell me it was a law school.
I wouldn't know what the fuck it was.
It's a law school.
Mick. Col.
Can we have a private word?
We heard what happened the other
night at the chemist's.
Oh, yeah, you read the papers. Yep.
Couldn't grab us a short black,
could you, mate?
One of the boys just happens to be
the son of a good friend of mine.
Ah. The one who clobbered you.
Ah. Ah, indeed.
Not me for a change, eh, Cleave?
Yeah, that's right.
So do I get a credit?
The thing is, mate, the other kid,
Tony, he's dead.
Turns out he had some sort of
congenital brain defect.
Shit. Yeah, shit.
Well, I didn't need a neurosurgeon
to tell me that.
They're both fuckin' idiots.
And, you know, the pair of 'em
have always been embarrassments
to their families.
Fuckin' potheads.
But Josh, fair fuckin' dinkum,
even before he started on the weed,
he was just plain dumb.
His father's a very, very good
friend of mine.
Best break-and-enter man
in the business.
So I need to know
what really happened, Cleave.
Oh, well, look, I was still a bit woozy,
but, um, but I vaguely remember
one of them
clobbering the security camera
with a lump of wood
and hitting the other one...
Tony.
Tony, in the follow-through.
He didn't mean to do it.
It's manslaughter at worst.
Good.
His father thinks a stretch for
manslaughter will sort him out.
Teach him the trade. Sure. Yeah.
But murder, no.
His mother couldn't handle that.
Barney's missus has been briefed
for the prosecution.
Will that be a problem?
Well, not for me, mate. Golden rule.
You can't cross-examine a friend.
How are you? Thanks for coming.
Oh, that's alright.
Can't really trust the phones
at the moment.
How are you going?
Sal's given me two weeks
to find a new place.
Taken the kids to Bowral
until I move out.
She didn't know?
She knew, of course she knew.
It's not what I did, it's the
humiliation that she can't handle.
Have you spoken to Jules? Yeah, yeah.
I tried calling her, but...
Well, she's...
..lying understandably low.
There's a lot of
pretty pissed-off people.
What happened?
Someone hacked into the system.
You know, got the client list,
recognised a few names.
If they got the client list,
then they...
No, no, it's alright.
You don't need to worry.
It's not the girls they're
interested in, it's the celebs...
..you know, and the chances of
anyone putting two and two together
are a million to one.
I don't like those odds in this town.
Have you thought of telling David?
We're too far down the track, Joe.
You OK?
Sick of the bullshit.
Sick... of the bullshit.
Tell me, whe...
When we were, um, together at
the club, did you ever enjoy it?
We had a lot of laughs.
Yeah, I know we had a lot of laughs.
But the whole thing, did you ever...
Joe, let's not dwell on...
Didn't think so.
That's not what I meant.
That's exactly what you meant.
No, Cleaver was always the one
for you, wasn't he?
Oh, don't be stupid! No!
I remember at Jules' drinks parties,
your face would light up
when Cleaver came in, eh?
Off his tree.
Which he invariably was.
And then I'd go and look for you
a little later on
and you'd both be gone.
Did you fall in love with him?
Once or twice.
But to use an expression Cleaver's
fond of, he's a hopeless case.
Mm, another expression
that he's fond of -
hopeless cases are the only ones
worth fighting for.
You ever tell him what you felt?
Hm!
'For all sad words of tongue and pen
the saddest are these...
It might have been.'
You've already made
a joint decision to divorce.
What is it you seek to achieve
by coming to therapy?
It's for the children, primarily.
We've moved on from each other.
So we... we thought it would be a good
idea to see if someone could help us.
Mm, help them. Yeah, help the children.
That's who I meant by them.
I was just trying to be clear.
I think it was already pretty clear.
Yeah, it could have been clearer.
Alright. I'm sorry.
Alright, what are you playing at?
What do you mean?
Well, this Zen facade
is a little wearing.
It's not a facade.
Oh, bullshit. I feel OK, Scarlet.
It's as much a surprise to me.
I just... I feel OK.
The fog has lifted. No pain, no anger.
Just a desire and a need to move on.
So...
So, we move on.
That's what you want, right?
Yeah. OK.
Oh, yes.
I told you the patches
wouldn't work, Dava.
The only way the patches
are gonna work, mate,
is if you want to quit smoking.
And you don't want to quit smoking.
You're a committed smoker. So be it.
You're also one of the nation's
top silks,
so you shouldn't be reduced
to hanging around
in fucking toilet cubicles
puffing away like some adolescent boy.
So come on, mate, be a man.
Out and proud!
Jesus Christ, give it
a fuckin' rest, will ya?
You pricks are all the same.
You can't even have a piss
without talkin' shit.
Yes, sorry, I mistook you
for somebody else.
Meetin' some prick called Greene.
Where's he at?
Uh... yes.
The prick Greene is down the corridor
to the left, left again,
then straight ahead.
Look for a door marked Tolga Urdan.
Now, where was I?
Ms Tanner, did you visit Travis
when he was in Grafton?
Once or twice.
Look, he done what he done.
If you can't do the time,
then don't do the fuckin' crime.
Yeah.
It's just that this is your son's
first charge as an adult.
If it goes badly, it'll have a big
impact on the rest of his life.
We're here, aren't we? Just tell us
what you want us to say.
It doesn't work that way, Mrs Tanner.
Ooh, doesn't it?
You must be new at this, love.
? When I, good friend,
was called to the bar
? I'd an appetite fresh and hearty
? But I was as many young barristers are
? An impecunious party
? I'd a swallow-tail suit
of a beautiful blue
? And a brief which I bought
from a booby
? A couple of shirts and a collar or two
? And a ring that looked like a ruby
? He'd a couple of shirts
and a collar or two
? And a ring that looked like a ruby. ?
A statement issued by
the family this afternoon, Sandra,
stated that Mr Sandilands
was under considerable pressure
following revelations
about his regular attendance
at a now infamous Sydney brothel.
His suicide was met with shock
in Macquarie Street...
? Of all the money e'er I had
? I spent it in good company
? And all the harm I've ever done
? Alas, it was to none but me
? And all I've done for want of wit
? To mem'ry now I can't recall
? So fill to me the parting glass
? Goodnight and joy be with you all. ?
To Joe.
Joe.
Hey.
I don't think I've got another tear
left in me, Barn.
I know how you feel, Sal.
You don't see how
it could ever not hurt.
You resign yourself
to living with the pain.
But then one day, you wake up
and it's gone, hm?
And you begin again.
I'm having a dinner for Fuzz's
birthday at my place if you're free.
OK.
She's coming.
Who? Your mother?
Vampira.
Ah.
I've been thinking about my epitaph.
And?
I think I'm gonna go with
American Typewriter.
I'm sorry?
The font.
I've got no idea what it's
gonna say, but it'll look nice.
I was watching you chatting to Scarlet.
Had a sort of Proustian rush.
It's like it was 15 years ago, and we
were all at some party together.
I'd be acting the fool and you two
and Barney'd be rolling your eyes.
Fuck, I miss it.
I've lost you all.
Two of the most important things
a man can have,
a loving wife and dear friends,
and I've somehow managed
to lose all of you.
I fucking love you all.
Most of all you.
Hm.
What are you doing?
Just making a bad situation worse.
Mm.
Mmm, get out of the car.
Wendy... Get out of the car, please.
Did you see the list of so-called
celebrities from the club
they put in the paper?
It's a bloody outrage.
30 names. Did I get a mention?
I'm like a founding member.
I'm surprised Glebe woman
didn't get a guernsey.
I don't know what's going on.
I feel like a victim of identity theft.
Who'd want to be me?
Here we go. That's for you.
I'll have a Scotch, mate.
Joe was just sick of the bullshit,
I think.
I'll drink to that.
I saw him the morning he jumped, Cleave.
Oh.
Don't flatter yourself, babe.
There's nothing you could have done.
Wasn't there? No.
There wasn't. He sounded so lost.
He was sick of the bullshit.
That's what it was.
Well, I'm tired of it too.
Oh, fuck, Cleave!
I'm not even 30 and I'm tired of it.
Every day with David at some point,
I have to pretend to be someone I'm not.
I've lied to him about you,
about Joe, about the club.
I mean, it's exhausting.
Well, then, tell him the truth.
Fuck.
See how he takes it.
If you can't be real with him,
what's the fucking point?
You're real with me.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
What? I'm serious. You're real with me.
Who do you feel more real with?
Him or me?
It's not that simple. Isn't it?
You know the rules, baby.
It's my first time, actually. Really?
Mm. So how much for a kiss?
You got cash?
Yeah, how much?
200.
You always carry that much cash
with you?
I've been at a funeral.
? Mister
? Your eyes are full of hesitation
? Sure makes me wonder
? If you know what you're looking for
? Baby
? I wanna keep my reputation... ?
You OK?
Fantastic!
Could not be better!
? Oh, yes, sir, I can boogie
? But I need a certain song
? I can boogie
? Boogie, boogie
? All night long
? Yes, sir, I can boogie
? If you stay you can't go wrong... ?
Excuse me, sir.
I need you out of the fountain.
Gentlemen!
Sir, out of the fountain, please.
Barney!
You bloody idiot!
Cleave? Yeah, Mitch, how are ya, mate?
Good to see ya.
Listen, Barn, get out. Get out, mate.
I don't know him!
You know Mr Meagher, don't you?
We do, Cleave. We need him out of
the fountain. I don't know him!
I don't know him.
Get out of there! He's alright.
We've just been at Joe Sandilands' wake,
so he's a bit tired and emotional.
He'll be alright. He'll come with me.
Get out of there, Barney!
You need to sober up, Mr Meagher.
Come on, Barnyard.
Listen to your friend.
He's not my mate.
Come, you bloody idiot!
He's alright. I'll look a...
I'll get him out. He's alright.
Come on, Barney, you bloody idiot!
Get out of there!
Barney!
Come here, you bloody fool.
You bloody idiot!
You're gonna owe me big time.
What time do you call this?
Where have you been?
Mourning a friend.
You only met Joe a few months ago, Mel.
How drunk do you get when someone
you actually know dies?
I'm sick of this crap.
This self-indulgent Paris Hilton crap.
Paris Hilton?
You're comparing me with Paris Hilton?
You disappear, Mel, all the time.
You fucking disappear.
Dinners, lunches.
I take a nap, you're gone three hours.
At first I thought it was this
charming idiosyncrasy,
a sort of Audrey Hepburn
in Breakfast At Tiffany's.
But it's no longer charming,
nor is it idiosyncratic.
It is childish, self-indulgent,
thoughtless bullshit.
Not only are we getting married,
but I'm running for Parliament.
So I'm sorry, but I really need
to know where you were.
You said that your political career
wouldn't interfere with my choices,
that I could do my own thing.
Where were you last night?!
And don't try and get out of it
by giving me another fucking story
about your dead parents.
Come on, mate.
Come on, drink up.
That's it. Bit more. Oh, no.
I tried being you tonight.
And?
Oh, Christ, it must be awful.
Yeah, tell me about it.
I ended up in one of those bars,
the sort of places you go to.
And I paid this woman
200 bucks to kiss me.
I'd been feeling fine.
Here I was in this dark room,
strange woman, kissing her...
..and it all came back to me,
like a flood.
What did?
The pain, the anger, the fear.
I burst into tears
and then I threw up on her.
Oh, Jesus, Barnyard.
200 bucks.
Why on Earth, Minister,
would you deny the fact
that you can speak French?
Were you scared that if this
sensational news got out,
it might make you look un-Australian?
Well, it doesn't make you look
un-Australian, mate.
But I'll tell you what - lying about
it makes you look like an imbecile.
It's this sort of dumbing down,
constantly patronising...
Out we get. Home, James. Home, James.
Good boy. Just wait there for a sec.
Make yourself nice.
What have you done to him? Me?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The last time I saw this was when
you took him for his bucks night.
You're welcome, Red.
How could you let him get like this?
Nothing to do with me.
He did it all by himself.
It's never your fault.
I've been worried sick.
It's a little late to play
the concerned wife, Red.
How dare you! How dare you!
We buried a good friend yesterday
and I was worried about
how Barney would handle it.
Or is there something wrong with that?
Just go, will you?
And leave my family alone.
For what it's worth, Red, it looks
like he handled it quite well.
Fuck off!
I think we should ask them
to redraft this.
Parts of it aren't even coherent,
let alone accurate.
Mm-hm. Yeah, that's fine.
Look, I've changed my mind.
I'm going to do Cleaver Greene's cross.
But you said he was an old friend.
You can't cross-examine a friend.
I know what I'm doing, Louise.
But you could get into a lot of trouble.
Mr Greene,
you visited the pharmacy
for what purpose?
I ha...
I had a headache.
According to your statement,
the defendant and his now deceased
accomplice,
they entered the pharmacy
approximately two minutes after you.
The two of them then attempted
to rob the pharmacy.
Yes, that's right.
The accused beat you over the head
with a log, did he not?
He did.
Severely enough to see you off
to Emergency at St Vincent's?
Yes.
But you claim to
have remained conscious.
Enough to see the accused
beat his friend with the log?
Yes, well, he didn't beat him
with the log.
He was trying to take out the CCTV
camera and he m...
It was an accident.
Oh, an accident? Oh.
How can you be sure?
It... I'm sure.
Had you been drinking?
No.
Had you been taking
any illicit substances?
Cocaine, for example?
Ms Engels?
Credit, Your Honour. Short leash.
Thank you, Your Honour.
Do you need me to repeat the question?
No.
And the answer is no.
Mr Greene, have you ever been to
rehab for cocaine addiction?
Yes.
And when was that?
Two years ago.
Have you taken cocaine since you
were discharged from rehab?
Oh, are you gonna object
at some point, Rumpole?
Er, objection, Your Honour.
Sustained.
Mr Greene, you are a known associate
of Mr Michael Corella, are you not?
Yes. I defended him.
And Mr Corella is... is a friend of
the accused's father, isn't he?
Yes.
Mr Greene, do you currently owe
Mr Carella any money?
Gambling debts, perhaps?
Your Honour, I have had sexual
relations with that woman.
She is my best friend's wife and she
should not be cross-examining me.
Your Honour, this is intolerable.
I completely agree with
my co-copulator, Your Honour.
And plus, I've got another trial
kicking off in six minutes. Enough!
Ms Engels, my chambers. Now.
Delighted you could make it,
Mr Greene. Your Honour.
Only you and Beyonce
have the pulling power.
Shall we, then?
Let's.
So after the assault,
this so-called 'Glebe woman'
called the police
and you attended the scene.
Mrs Jarjoura's from Annandale, actually.
I beg your pardon?
The attack was in Glebe.
She's from Annandale. Are you sure?
I mean, the press was most insistent
that she was a Glebe woman.
Well, as I say, the attack
was in Glebe, so I guess...
Mr Greene, is this at all relevant?
I'll move on, Your Honour.
So, uh, the pensioner
formerly known as 'Glebe woman'
was able to give you a description
of her assailant, was she?
Mr Greene, the victim's name
is Mrs Jarjoura.
Please answer the question, Constable.
Yes.
Constable, how did the assailant
attack Mrs, uh, Jarjoura,
if that's her name?
I'm sorry, Mr Greene?
Nothing, Your Honour. Constable, please.
She said he attacked her from behind.
Oh! So 71-year-old Mrs Jarjoura
was able to give you a description of
the man who attacked her from behind.
Amongst other things,
she was able to describe a tattoo
on her assailant's left arm.
Yes, the barbed wire.
Yes. Yes.
A barbed wire tattoo.
Have you ever seen one of those before
in your entire career, Constable?
Yes.
How many times would you estimate
you might have seen a barbed wire
tattoo in your career?
I don't know.
More than once?
I suppose.
Yes, twice? Three times?
300 times?
A lot. I don't know. Yes.
They're as common as muck,
aren't they, Constable?
Constable, how long was the interval
between Mrs Jarjoura's reporting
of the incident and the arrest?
I'd have to check the charge sheet,
but I'd say...
..an hour and a half.
Well, that's extraordinary.
Doesn't it make you feel safe,
ladies and gentlemen,
that in a town of over
four million people,
the constabulary can pin down
the bent needle in the haystack
in less than two hours?
Mr Greene, you are testing
the limits of my patience.
Constable, I put it to you
that there was no real investigation
of this matter.
There couldn't possibly have been
in the time frame.
I reject that.
I further put it to you, Constable,
that, conscious of the fact
that this assault took place
in the vicinity
of a well-known State-run halfway house,
you merely cross-referenced
your information
with the list of current known
occupants of that halfway house,
and bingo.
There was Mr Tanner, two-time loser
with a barbed wire tattoo.
Had to be him.
I reject that.
So are you pissed at Vampira
or are you pissed at Fuzz?
Both. But I'm also pissed at you.
Why? You know perfectly well why.
Because we kissed?
I don't want to talk about it.
Did it unsettle you a little?
Listen, tonight's going to be
difficult enough, OK?
Can we just...
Alright, fine, darlin'.
We'll keep it together.
It's his special birthday. I know.
She can screw him legally after tonight.
We should have had her charged
when we had the chance.
Who did you want charged? No-one, Mum.
Vampira? Mum, please.
It's a disgrace.
Better keep it down a little, Prue.
Or what, Cleave?
You'll ask me for a loan?
Did you ever get those pamphlets
I sent you on euthanasia?
And so, um, how's the new school, Fiona?
Fine. Good?
Hm.
Hm!
Got some, uh, bright students?
Some.
I must say,
I think it's a wonderful thing.
In my day, I couldn't have had a
relationship with my French teacher.
Fiona teaches English, Carm, and
she's no longer Finnegan's teacher.
You remember
we talked about that earlier?
I'm just saying that Finn
is a very lucky boy.
I am, Aunty Carm.
Fiona, you're such a pretty young thing.
Carm... Here we go. She's off.
I bet there are some hearts aflutter.
Indeed there are.
How old are you?
Anyone for some more chicken?
You don't look a day over 21.
Got any breasts?
I'm actually 28.
Excuse me. Funny, you don't look 28.
Or act it. I beg your pardon, Mum?
Nothing, darling. Mum!
When are you going to get it?
Fi and I are in love.
That's not going to change.
If anything changes
it's gonna be between you...
Fuzz, it's alright. Your mum's
a little stressed, yeah?
I mean, you both have to understand
that this has been a tricky thing
to adjust to.
Um, so let's just try and start
from scratch, shall we?
I'd like to, on this, your 16th
birthday, propose a little toast.
Which will go on till your 17th.
Fuzz, I've never seen you
looking so happy, mate,
and so I'd like to thank Fiona
for bringing us this joy...
I'm sorry.
Fi!
Fi, what's wrong?
What happened there?
It will be alright, darling, I promise.
Your mum's right, mate.
It's going to hurt like a bastard
for a while.
But it'll get better. No, it won't.
She was the one, Dad.
She's the only one.
No, she isn't.
It's better that she
came to her senses now
rather than in a year's time.
What do you mean, came to her senses?
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
You've been undermining this
relationship from the start,
the pair of you!
It's no wonder she left me!
Settle down, mate.
Your mum just meant that
it was always going to be tough.
At some point she was probably going
to meet a man her own age...
He's not of her own age, Dad!
He's even younger than I am!
He's at that new school that you
guys fucking drove her to!
Fuck!
Ha!
What's the technical term
for someone like Fiona?
Oh. Nut job. Yeah, that's it.
We've gotta let
that new school know. Yeah.
Oh. I'll call them in the morning.
No, I'll do it.
Really?
Oh, yes.
I must shoulder some of the load.
You got something on? Witness.
Ah, yes, that assault. The Glebe woman.
Yes, the Glebe woman.
I'd say good luck with that, but...
No, it'll be fine.
Be interesting to see what it's like
from the other side.
We're good, yeah? Yeah, we're good.
Excuse me.
Oi!
Miss, open the door.
I just need a minute.
Come on, open the door
or I'm gonna bust it down.
He said that they wouldn't be here.
He promised me they wouldn't be here!
The fuckin' little shit!
What's going on? What is it?
That's my family, Cleave.
That's my mum and my dad.
Those people...
..are your parents?
Unbe-fucking-lievable.
You are fucking kidding me.
Right.
So Dad wasn't a diplomat.
There was no being chased by bandits
in Honduras.
Those people are your parents.
I don't care if I never see them again.
I don't want to ever see them again.
But Travis is my little brother, Cleave.
I mean, he's had a shit life,
and it's all gonna be over
if he goes inside again.
Right, so he did it.
Yeah.
You know if you get in the witness
box and you lie and it's found out,
you will not only never practise law,
but you'll go to fucking jail.
Now, you might be fine with that. You
might think that's OK, that's cool.
I'm on a professional fucking
tightrope, Missy!
You know my reputation.
If I get the slightest gust of wind,
that's it for me. I'm over.
Done.
My name is Jane.
It's Jane Tanner.
Is it, Jane?
Well...
I've got a couple of questions
for you, Jane.
What did I ever do to make you think
that I would give a flying fuck
about where you came from, Jane?
Surely to Christ you know me well enough
to know that that
would make no difference.
Or do you really think
that I'm so fucking superficial
I deserve five years of bullshit?
I started the bullshit
long before I met you, Cleave.
I can't remember a time in my life
when it hasn't been bullshit.
Well, that's some consolation, Jane.
Mr Greene.
Mr Greene?
Do you recall the precise time
of your collision with Mr Tanner,
Ms Partridge?
Yes.
It was a little after eight.
I'd just finished a lecture.
I see.
And are you absolutely convinced that
it was the defendant, Travis Tanner?
Yes, I'm sure.
Thank you.
No further questions, Your Honour.
Really? What is this incident
at the chemist shop?
Oh, well, you want the whole story,
or the abridged?
I'll give you the whole story.
No, I don't want the whole story.
It's a good story. Mr Greene.
Thank you. Whatever for, Ms Partridge?
A drink's in order,
don't you think, Simone?
I do. So where do we start?
Oh, well, what? You mean
the chemist shop or the drink?
The chemist shop.
Closed Captions by CSI
Mr Greene, you are in contempt.
Remove this man from my court
and place him in remand.
G'day, Tuva. How are you, mate?
I'm unchaining you.
I still have feelings for you.
I doubt you ever have.
You're doing coke again, aren't you?
You know you can't handle it.
If I was Joe Average
instead of Joe Sandilands,
I wouldn't be voting for us.
May I add something? Of course.
Can anyone here lend me a car
for the weekend?
I want you to talk to him about Vampira.
He hasn't spoken to me
since I kicked her out of my place.
David and I are getting married.
Oh, well, this is bloody riveting.
What's up, Dad?
What do you mean? You're smiling.
Yeah.
Weird, isn't it?
Attorney-General Joe Sandilands
has confirmed that
he is one of 14 state MPs
who has regularly attended
the exclusive Darlinghurst brothel
known as Club Jules.
Footage of Mr Sandilands
leaving the brothel
was released via YouTube last night.
In a statement released this morning,
the Attorney-General
expressed deep regret...
Oh, Joe. You poor bastard.
..let down his family, supporters
and his colleagues.
The Premier is yet to make a statement.
No luck, I'm afraid. You're kidding me.
No-one on this floor
has a single Panadol?
Panamax?
Disprin, aspirin, codeine,
Nurofen, in one form or another?
I'll take it anally if required.
What can I say?
This floor is loaded with booze,
coke, sex toys, debt, but no...
I don't need my resume
shouted back at me, woman!
Gun? Check.
Knife? Check.
Stockings?
You were in charge of the fucking
stockings, Tones. Bullshit, I was!
Good evening.
Uh.
Uh, I have the stepmother
of all headaches.
A headache, you say?
Yes.
I'd like something strong for it,
if possible.
Be with you in a moment.
Arggh!
Put your fuckin' hands in the air now!
Open the fuckin' till.
Hurry up, man!
Fellas, what are you doing?
Open it! Boys, you're on candid camera.
Shut up! Hurry up, mate!
I'd just cut my losses
and bolt if I were you.
I said, put your hands in the air.
Is that branch loaded, mate?
Shut up, smart-arse. Mate, I know
a thing or two about the law.
Not much, granted,
but if you just bolt now...
Hurry up! What are you doing?
I can't get it open! Leave it! Let's go!
Stay down!
Hurry up, Tones. Let's go!
Come on!
Ugh!
Oh fuck, Tones! Get up!
Tones, come on. Tones!
Tones! Come on, man!
You're in luck.
This should do the trick.
Fuckin' hell. Oh, fuck!
Where's my parade?
Beg your pardon?
He gets called a hero, he gets a safe
seat in Parliament, he gets my girl.
Ow. What do I get?
Hello?
Barn?
So are you gonna die?
Well, I've been thinking a bit
about it lately.
Barn!
Don't ever pull this stunt again.
I'm not your next of kin.
In fact, I couldn't imagine
a worse fate.
I had a mental blank.
You just don't get it, do you?
We don't exist any longer, Cleaver.
I'm not going to bail you out
or loan you any more money,
or listen to you rationalise
your pathetic self-indulgences.
Alright.
If you can't get over a little grudge -
A little grudge!
He screwed my wife.
Barn, it's you and me, mate.
Come on, we can get over this.
I'm already over it... mate.
I'm over it.
I'm over Scarlet, and I'm over you.
Ta-ta.
Sorry, this might be a little tight.
Ow, fuck!
Until I'm informed otherwise, this is
our house and they're our children.
OK.
Have you seen this?
'Glebe woman bashed and robbed.'
No, below that.
'Barista assault...'
'Barista assaulted
in Kings Cross chemist.'
Pretty funny, don't you think?
You haven't made a cup of coffee
for yourself since I've known you.
How come Glebe woman
gets a bigger story than me?
I mean, she's just Glebe woman.
Her only significant achievement's
having an address.
I at least have a profession.
Oh, I'd kill for a skinny latte
right now, thanks.
And how come Glebe woman gets bashed,
and I get assaulted?
I mean, 'bashed' sounds so much worse.
Oh, it's a blessing in disguise.
Well, it's a bloody good disguise.
You're briefed to appear
for Travis Simon Tanner,
who is alleged to have assaulted
and robbed...
Glebe woman.
And I'm gonna get the bugger off.
She's going to find out who's boss.
I'll show Glebe woman what it's like
to be below the fold.
Yes, you do that.
Oh, by the way,
can I have a muffin to go?
He's 19, he has two priors
as a juvenile for...
Violent assault and robbery.
Excellent.
Just got out of Grafton. This is
his first charge as an adult.
I'm not even going to try and hide
my disappointment, Simone.
I was hoping our Mr Tanner
might be innocent.
You see, I have a score to settle.
Well, before you fall into
a deep despond,
it seems very possible that
the police may have jumped the gun
and picked up an easy target.
How so?
Because whilst our Mr Tanner does
fit the description given by Ms...
Ja...
Jajou? Ja... Jajou...
Yeah, Glebe woman. Quite.
We have a witness who says
she saw him in the city
at precisely the time
the attack was alleged to have
taken place in Glebe on...
Glebe woman.
Really?
Yes.
And this, you see, is how
you came to get this brief.
How?
Apparently the witness
is a friend of yours.
Who?
It was about 8:00.
I was late to meet David,
so I bolted out onto Phillip Street,
and wham, we collided.
I dropped everything.
He was very apologetic and helped me
pick up my stuff,
and we chatted for a minute
and introduced ourselves.
And he told you his name? Yeah, Travis.
Travis Tanner.
Next morning, I'm listening to the radio
and after all that bullshit
about the election,
I hear this story
about this woman from Glebe...
Glebe woman.
Yeah, who was assaulted at about 8:00,
and that a Travis Tanner
had been charged.
Right. Nothing on the radio
about a barista from Kings Cross?
No.
Anyway, I thought there can't be
that many Travis Tanners.
So I give the Crown Defender's
office a call,
and I get his solicitor's name
and I tell her what I saw.
And?
And Simone and I got chatting and I
mentioned your name and...
Uh, any distinguishing features?
Yeah.
A barbed wire tatt on his shoulder.
His left, I think.
I've got to get back. OK.
OK.
You know this is proof, don't you?
Proof of what?
Proof of our spiritual connection.
We both witness assaults
on the same night.
In some cultures,
we'd be forced to marry.
Well, I guess we're lucky
we live in a city
where the spiritual
doesn't count for much.
What were you doing
in Phillip Street, Travis?
I'm stayin' in some shithole
near Central.
The halfway house? Yeah.
Went down to see the harbour
and the bridge and that.
Right. Were you gonna meet
some mates down there?
Nuh.
Just wanted to see the blue.
The colour blue? Yeah.
But it wasn't sunny that day, was it?
The night before, forecast was sweet.
Fine and sunny all day, but they're
all just full of shit.
Oh, don't get me started
on weathermen, mate.
How long did you stay
down by the harbour?
Probably... most of the day.
Despite the absence of the colour blue?
Blue would have been nice, but...
I just got to walk round
like a regular bloke.
Mm.
The sun went down,
and I just stared at the lights.
It was good.
And then you, uh, just walked back
to the old halfway house?
Yep.
Past the law school.
Why'd you go that way?
Huh! I don't know Sydney that well.
I'm from Taree.
But it was outside the law school
that you bumped into Ms Partridge.
Well, they tell me it was a law school.
I wouldn't know what the fuck it was.
It's a law school.
Mick. Col.
Can we have a private word?
We heard what happened the other
night at the chemist's.
Oh, yeah, you read the papers. Yep.
Couldn't grab us a short black,
could you, mate?
One of the boys just happens to be
the son of a good friend of mine.
Ah. The one who clobbered you.
Ah. Ah, indeed.
Not me for a change, eh, Cleave?
Yeah, that's right.
So do I get a credit?
The thing is, mate, the other kid,
Tony, he's dead.
Turns out he had some sort of
congenital brain defect.
Shit. Yeah, shit.
Well, I didn't need a neurosurgeon
to tell me that.
They're both fuckin' idiots.
And, you know, the pair of 'em
have always been embarrassments
to their families.
Fuckin' potheads.
But Josh, fair fuckin' dinkum,
even before he started on the weed,
he was just plain dumb.
His father's a very, very good
friend of mine.
Best break-and-enter man
in the business.
So I need to know
what really happened, Cleave.
Oh, well, look, I was still a bit woozy,
but, um, but I vaguely remember
one of them
clobbering the security camera
with a lump of wood
and hitting the other one...
Tony.
Tony, in the follow-through.
He didn't mean to do it.
It's manslaughter at worst.
Good.
His father thinks a stretch for
manslaughter will sort him out.
Teach him the trade. Sure. Yeah.
But murder, no.
His mother couldn't handle that.
Barney's missus has been briefed
for the prosecution.
Will that be a problem?
Well, not for me, mate. Golden rule.
You can't cross-examine a friend.
How are you? Thanks for coming.
Oh, that's alright.
Can't really trust the phones
at the moment.
How are you going?
Sal's given me two weeks
to find a new place.
Taken the kids to Bowral
until I move out.
She didn't know?
She knew, of course she knew.
It's not what I did, it's the
humiliation that she can't handle.
Have you spoken to Jules? Yeah, yeah.
I tried calling her, but...
Well, she's...
..lying understandably low.
There's a lot of
pretty pissed-off people.
What happened?
Someone hacked into the system.
You know, got the client list,
recognised a few names.
If they got the client list,
then they...
No, no, it's alright.
You don't need to worry.
It's not the girls they're
interested in, it's the celebs...
..you know, and the chances of
anyone putting two and two together
are a million to one.
I don't like those odds in this town.
Have you thought of telling David?
We're too far down the track, Joe.
You OK?
Sick of the bullshit.
Sick... of the bullshit.
Tell me, whe...
When we were, um, together at
the club, did you ever enjoy it?
We had a lot of laughs.
Yeah, I know we had a lot of laughs.
But the whole thing, did you ever...
Joe, let's not dwell on...
Didn't think so.
That's not what I meant.
That's exactly what you meant.
No, Cleaver was always the one
for you, wasn't he?
Oh, don't be stupid! No!
I remember at Jules' drinks parties,
your face would light up
when Cleaver came in, eh?
Off his tree.
Which he invariably was.
And then I'd go and look for you
a little later on
and you'd both be gone.
Did you fall in love with him?
Once or twice.
But to use an expression Cleaver's
fond of, he's a hopeless case.
Mm, another expression
that he's fond of -
hopeless cases are the only ones
worth fighting for.
You ever tell him what you felt?
Hm!
'For all sad words of tongue and pen
the saddest are these...
It might have been.'
You've already made
a joint decision to divorce.
What is it you seek to achieve
by coming to therapy?
It's for the children, primarily.
We've moved on from each other.
So we... we thought it would be a good
idea to see if someone could help us.
Mm, help them. Yeah, help the children.
That's who I meant by them.
I was just trying to be clear.
I think it was already pretty clear.
Yeah, it could have been clearer.
Alright. I'm sorry.
Alright, what are you playing at?
What do you mean?
Well, this Zen facade
is a little wearing.
It's not a facade.
Oh, bullshit. I feel OK, Scarlet.
It's as much a surprise to me.
I just... I feel OK.
The fog has lifted. No pain, no anger.
Just a desire and a need to move on.
So...
So, we move on.
That's what you want, right?
Yeah. OK.
Oh, yes.
I told you the patches
wouldn't work, Dava.
The only way the patches
are gonna work, mate,
is if you want to quit smoking.
And you don't want to quit smoking.
You're a committed smoker. So be it.
You're also one of the nation's
top silks,
so you shouldn't be reduced
to hanging around
in fucking toilet cubicles
puffing away like some adolescent boy.
So come on, mate, be a man.
Out and proud!
Jesus Christ, give it
a fuckin' rest, will ya?
You pricks are all the same.
You can't even have a piss
without talkin' shit.
Yes, sorry, I mistook you
for somebody else.
Meetin' some prick called Greene.
Where's he at?
Uh... yes.
The prick Greene is down the corridor
to the left, left again,
then straight ahead.
Look for a door marked Tolga Urdan.
Now, where was I?
Ms Tanner, did you visit Travis
when he was in Grafton?
Once or twice.
Look, he done what he done.
If you can't do the time,
then don't do the fuckin' crime.
Yeah.
It's just that this is your son's
first charge as an adult.
If it goes badly, it'll have a big
impact on the rest of his life.
We're here, aren't we? Just tell us
what you want us to say.
It doesn't work that way, Mrs Tanner.
Ooh, doesn't it?
You must be new at this, love.
? When I, good friend,
was called to the bar
? I'd an appetite fresh and hearty
? But I was as many young barristers are
? An impecunious party
? I'd a swallow-tail suit
of a beautiful blue
? And a brief which I bought
from a booby
? A couple of shirts and a collar or two
? And a ring that looked like a ruby
? He'd a couple of shirts
and a collar or two
? And a ring that looked like a ruby. ?
A statement issued by
the family this afternoon, Sandra,
stated that Mr Sandilands
was under considerable pressure
following revelations
about his regular attendance
at a now infamous Sydney brothel.
His suicide was met with shock
in Macquarie Street...
? Of all the money e'er I had
? I spent it in good company
? And all the harm I've ever done
? Alas, it was to none but me
? And all I've done for want of wit
? To mem'ry now I can't recall
? So fill to me the parting glass
? Goodnight and joy be with you all. ?
To Joe.
Joe.
Hey.
I don't think I've got another tear
left in me, Barn.
I know how you feel, Sal.
You don't see how
it could ever not hurt.
You resign yourself
to living with the pain.
But then one day, you wake up
and it's gone, hm?
And you begin again.
I'm having a dinner for Fuzz's
birthday at my place if you're free.
OK.
She's coming.
Who? Your mother?
Vampira.
Ah.
I've been thinking about my epitaph.
And?
I think I'm gonna go with
American Typewriter.
I'm sorry?
The font.
I've got no idea what it's
gonna say, but it'll look nice.
I was watching you chatting to Scarlet.
Had a sort of Proustian rush.
It's like it was 15 years ago, and we
were all at some party together.
I'd be acting the fool and you two
and Barney'd be rolling your eyes.
Fuck, I miss it.
I've lost you all.
Two of the most important things
a man can have,
a loving wife and dear friends,
and I've somehow managed
to lose all of you.
I fucking love you all.
Most of all you.
Hm.
What are you doing?
Just making a bad situation worse.
Mm.
Mmm, get out of the car.
Wendy... Get out of the car, please.
Did you see the list of so-called
celebrities from the club
they put in the paper?
It's a bloody outrage.
30 names. Did I get a mention?
I'm like a founding member.
I'm surprised Glebe woman
didn't get a guernsey.
I don't know what's going on.
I feel like a victim of identity theft.
Who'd want to be me?
Here we go. That's for you.
I'll have a Scotch, mate.
Joe was just sick of the bullshit,
I think.
I'll drink to that.
I saw him the morning he jumped, Cleave.
Oh.
Don't flatter yourself, babe.
There's nothing you could have done.
Wasn't there? No.
There wasn't. He sounded so lost.
He was sick of the bullshit.
That's what it was.
Well, I'm tired of it too.
Oh, fuck, Cleave!
I'm not even 30 and I'm tired of it.
Every day with David at some point,
I have to pretend to be someone I'm not.
I've lied to him about you,
about Joe, about the club.
I mean, it's exhausting.
Well, then, tell him the truth.
Fuck.
See how he takes it.
If you can't be real with him,
what's the fucking point?
You're real with me.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
What? I'm serious. You're real with me.
Who do you feel more real with?
Him or me?
It's not that simple. Isn't it?
You know the rules, baby.
It's my first time, actually. Really?
Mm. So how much for a kiss?
You got cash?
Yeah, how much?
200.
You always carry that much cash
with you?
I've been at a funeral.
? Mister
? Your eyes are full of hesitation
? Sure makes me wonder
? If you know what you're looking for
? Baby
? I wanna keep my reputation... ?
You OK?
Fantastic!
Could not be better!
? Oh, yes, sir, I can boogie
? But I need a certain song
? I can boogie
? Boogie, boogie
? All night long
? Yes, sir, I can boogie
? If you stay you can't go wrong... ?
Excuse me, sir.
I need you out of the fountain.
Gentlemen!
Sir, out of the fountain, please.
Barney!
You bloody idiot!
Cleave? Yeah, Mitch, how are ya, mate?
Good to see ya.
Listen, Barn, get out. Get out, mate.
I don't know him!
You know Mr Meagher, don't you?
We do, Cleave. We need him out of
the fountain. I don't know him!
I don't know him.
Get out of there! He's alright.
We've just been at Joe Sandilands' wake,
so he's a bit tired and emotional.
He'll be alright. He'll come with me.
Get out of there, Barney!
You need to sober up, Mr Meagher.
Come on, Barnyard.
Listen to your friend.
He's not my mate.
Come, you bloody idiot!
He's alright. I'll look a...
I'll get him out. He's alright.
Come on, Barney, you bloody idiot!
Get out of there!
Barney!
Come here, you bloody fool.
You bloody idiot!
You're gonna owe me big time.
What time do you call this?
Where have you been?
Mourning a friend.
You only met Joe a few months ago, Mel.
How drunk do you get when someone
you actually know dies?
I'm sick of this crap.
This self-indulgent Paris Hilton crap.
Paris Hilton?
You're comparing me with Paris Hilton?
You disappear, Mel, all the time.
You fucking disappear.
Dinners, lunches.
I take a nap, you're gone three hours.
At first I thought it was this
charming idiosyncrasy,
a sort of Audrey Hepburn
in Breakfast At Tiffany's.
But it's no longer charming,
nor is it idiosyncratic.
It is childish, self-indulgent,
thoughtless bullshit.
Not only are we getting married,
but I'm running for Parliament.
So I'm sorry, but I really need
to know where you were.
You said that your political career
wouldn't interfere with my choices,
that I could do my own thing.
Where were you last night?!
And don't try and get out of it
by giving me another fucking story
about your dead parents.
Come on, mate.
Come on, drink up.
That's it. Bit more. Oh, no.
I tried being you tonight.
And?
Oh, Christ, it must be awful.
Yeah, tell me about it.
I ended up in one of those bars,
the sort of places you go to.
And I paid this woman
200 bucks to kiss me.
I'd been feeling fine.
Here I was in this dark room,
strange woman, kissing her...
..and it all came back to me,
like a flood.
What did?
The pain, the anger, the fear.
I burst into tears
and then I threw up on her.
Oh, Jesus, Barnyard.
200 bucks.
Why on Earth, Minister,
would you deny the fact
that you can speak French?
Were you scared that if this
sensational news got out,
it might make you look un-Australian?
Well, it doesn't make you look
un-Australian, mate.
But I'll tell you what - lying about
it makes you look like an imbecile.
It's this sort of dumbing down,
constantly patronising...
Out we get. Home, James. Home, James.
Good boy. Just wait there for a sec.
Make yourself nice.
What have you done to him? Me?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The last time I saw this was when
you took him for his bucks night.
You're welcome, Red.
How could you let him get like this?
Nothing to do with me.
He did it all by himself.
It's never your fault.
I've been worried sick.
It's a little late to play
the concerned wife, Red.
How dare you! How dare you!
We buried a good friend yesterday
and I was worried about
how Barney would handle it.
Or is there something wrong with that?
Just go, will you?
And leave my family alone.
For what it's worth, Red, it looks
like he handled it quite well.
Fuck off!
I think we should ask them
to redraft this.
Parts of it aren't even coherent,
let alone accurate.
Mm-hm. Yeah, that's fine.
Look, I've changed my mind.
I'm going to do Cleaver Greene's cross.
But you said he was an old friend.
You can't cross-examine a friend.
I know what I'm doing, Louise.
But you could get into a lot of trouble.
Mr Greene,
you visited the pharmacy
for what purpose?
I ha...
I had a headache.
According to your statement,
the defendant and his now deceased
accomplice,
they entered the pharmacy
approximately two minutes after you.
The two of them then attempted
to rob the pharmacy.
Yes, that's right.
The accused beat you over the head
with a log, did he not?
He did.
Severely enough to see you off
to Emergency at St Vincent's?
Yes.
But you claim to
have remained conscious.
Enough to see the accused
beat his friend with the log?
Yes, well, he didn't beat him
with the log.
He was trying to take out the CCTV
camera and he m...
It was an accident.
Oh, an accident? Oh.
How can you be sure?
It... I'm sure.
Had you been drinking?
No.
Had you been taking
any illicit substances?
Cocaine, for example?
Ms Engels?
Credit, Your Honour. Short leash.
Thank you, Your Honour.
Do you need me to repeat the question?
No.
And the answer is no.
Mr Greene, have you ever been to
rehab for cocaine addiction?
Yes.
And when was that?
Two years ago.
Have you taken cocaine since you
were discharged from rehab?
Oh, are you gonna object
at some point, Rumpole?
Er, objection, Your Honour.
Sustained.
Mr Greene, you are a known associate
of Mr Michael Corella, are you not?
Yes. I defended him.
And Mr Corella is... is a friend of
the accused's father, isn't he?
Yes.
Mr Greene, do you currently owe
Mr Carella any money?
Gambling debts, perhaps?
Your Honour, I have had sexual
relations with that woman.
She is my best friend's wife and she
should not be cross-examining me.
Your Honour, this is intolerable.
I completely agree with
my co-copulator, Your Honour.
And plus, I've got another trial
kicking off in six minutes. Enough!
Ms Engels, my chambers. Now.
Delighted you could make it,
Mr Greene. Your Honour.
Only you and Beyonce
have the pulling power.
Shall we, then?
Let's.
So after the assault,
this so-called 'Glebe woman'
called the police
and you attended the scene.
Mrs Jarjoura's from Annandale, actually.
I beg your pardon?
The attack was in Glebe.
She's from Annandale. Are you sure?
I mean, the press was most insistent
that she was a Glebe woman.
Well, as I say, the attack
was in Glebe, so I guess...
Mr Greene, is this at all relevant?
I'll move on, Your Honour.
So, uh, the pensioner
formerly known as 'Glebe woman'
was able to give you a description
of her assailant, was she?
Mr Greene, the victim's name
is Mrs Jarjoura.
Please answer the question, Constable.
Yes.
Constable, how did the assailant
attack Mrs, uh, Jarjoura,
if that's her name?
I'm sorry, Mr Greene?
Nothing, Your Honour. Constable, please.
She said he attacked her from behind.
Oh! So 71-year-old Mrs Jarjoura
was able to give you a description of
the man who attacked her from behind.
Amongst other things,
she was able to describe a tattoo
on her assailant's left arm.
Yes, the barbed wire.
Yes. Yes.
A barbed wire tattoo.
Have you ever seen one of those before
in your entire career, Constable?
Yes.
How many times would you estimate
you might have seen a barbed wire
tattoo in your career?
I don't know.
More than once?
I suppose.
Yes, twice? Three times?
300 times?
A lot. I don't know. Yes.
They're as common as muck,
aren't they, Constable?
Constable, how long was the interval
between Mrs Jarjoura's reporting
of the incident and the arrest?
I'd have to check the charge sheet,
but I'd say...
..an hour and a half.
Well, that's extraordinary.
Doesn't it make you feel safe,
ladies and gentlemen,
that in a town of over
four million people,
the constabulary can pin down
the bent needle in the haystack
in less than two hours?
Mr Greene, you are testing
the limits of my patience.
Constable, I put it to you
that there was no real investigation
of this matter.
There couldn't possibly have been
in the time frame.
I reject that.
I further put it to you, Constable,
that, conscious of the fact
that this assault took place
in the vicinity
of a well-known State-run halfway house,
you merely cross-referenced
your information
with the list of current known
occupants of that halfway house,
and bingo.
There was Mr Tanner, two-time loser
with a barbed wire tattoo.
Had to be him.
I reject that.
So are you pissed at Vampira
or are you pissed at Fuzz?
Both. But I'm also pissed at you.
Why? You know perfectly well why.
Because we kissed?
I don't want to talk about it.
Did it unsettle you a little?
Listen, tonight's going to be
difficult enough, OK?
Can we just...
Alright, fine, darlin'.
We'll keep it together.
It's his special birthday. I know.
She can screw him legally after tonight.
We should have had her charged
when we had the chance.
Who did you want charged? No-one, Mum.
Vampira? Mum, please.
It's a disgrace.
Better keep it down a little, Prue.
Or what, Cleave?
You'll ask me for a loan?
Did you ever get those pamphlets
I sent you on euthanasia?
And so, um, how's the new school, Fiona?
Fine. Good?
Hm.
Hm!
Got some, uh, bright students?
Some.
I must say,
I think it's a wonderful thing.
In my day, I couldn't have had a
relationship with my French teacher.
Fiona teaches English, Carm, and
she's no longer Finnegan's teacher.
You remember
we talked about that earlier?
I'm just saying that Finn
is a very lucky boy.
I am, Aunty Carm.
Fiona, you're such a pretty young thing.
Carm... Here we go. She's off.
I bet there are some hearts aflutter.
Indeed there are.
How old are you?
Anyone for some more chicken?
You don't look a day over 21.
Got any breasts?
I'm actually 28.
Excuse me. Funny, you don't look 28.
Or act it. I beg your pardon, Mum?
Nothing, darling. Mum!
When are you going to get it?
Fi and I are in love.
That's not going to change.
If anything changes
it's gonna be between you...
Fuzz, it's alright. Your mum's
a little stressed, yeah?
I mean, you both have to understand
that this has been a tricky thing
to adjust to.
Um, so let's just try and start
from scratch, shall we?
I'd like to, on this, your 16th
birthday, propose a little toast.
Which will go on till your 17th.
Fuzz, I've never seen you
looking so happy, mate,
and so I'd like to thank Fiona
for bringing us this joy...
I'm sorry.
Fi!
Fi, what's wrong?
What happened there?
It will be alright, darling, I promise.
Your mum's right, mate.
It's going to hurt like a bastard
for a while.
But it'll get better. No, it won't.
She was the one, Dad.
She's the only one.
No, she isn't.
It's better that she
came to her senses now
rather than in a year's time.
What do you mean, came to her senses?
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
You've been undermining this
relationship from the start,
the pair of you!
It's no wonder she left me!
Settle down, mate.
Your mum just meant that
it was always going to be tough.
At some point she was probably going
to meet a man her own age...
He's not of her own age, Dad!
He's even younger than I am!
He's at that new school that you
guys fucking drove her to!
Fuck!
Ha!
What's the technical term
for someone like Fiona?
Oh. Nut job. Yeah, that's it.
We've gotta let
that new school know. Yeah.
Oh. I'll call them in the morning.
No, I'll do it.
Really?
Oh, yes.
I must shoulder some of the load.
You got something on? Witness.
Ah, yes, that assault. The Glebe woman.
Yes, the Glebe woman.
I'd say good luck with that, but...
No, it'll be fine.
Be interesting to see what it's like
from the other side.
We're good, yeah? Yeah, we're good.
Excuse me.
Oi!
Miss, open the door.
I just need a minute.
Come on, open the door
or I'm gonna bust it down.
He said that they wouldn't be here.
He promised me they wouldn't be here!
The fuckin' little shit!
What's going on? What is it?
That's my family, Cleave.
That's my mum and my dad.
Those people...
..are your parents?
Unbe-fucking-lievable.
You are fucking kidding me.
Right.
So Dad wasn't a diplomat.
There was no being chased by bandits
in Honduras.
Those people are your parents.
I don't care if I never see them again.
I don't want to ever see them again.
But Travis is my little brother, Cleave.
I mean, he's had a shit life,
and it's all gonna be over
if he goes inside again.
Right, so he did it.
Yeah.
You know if you get in the witness
box and you lie and it's found out,
you will not only never practise law,
but you'll go to fucking jail.
Now, you might be fine with that. You
might think that's OK, that's cool.
I'm on a professional fucking
tightrope, Missy!
You know my reputation.
If I get the slightest gust of wind,
that's it for me. I'm over.
Done.
My name is Jane.
It's Jane Tanner.
Is it, Jane?
Well...
I've got a couple of questions
for you, Jane.
What did I ever do to make you think
that I would give a flying fuck
about where you came from, Jane?
Surely to Christ you know me well enough
to know that that
would make no difference.
Or do you really think
that I'm so fucking superficial
I deserve five years of bullshit?
I started the bullshit
long before I met you, Cleave.
I can't remember a time in my life
when it hasn't been bullshit.
Well, that's some consolation, Jane.
Mr Greene.
Mr Greene?
Do you recall the precise time
of your collision with Mr Tanner,
Ms Partridge?
Yes.
It was a little after eight.
I'd just finished a lecture.
I see.
And are you absolutely convinced that
it was the defendant, Travis Tanner?
Yes, I'm sure.
Thank you.
No further questions, Your Honour.
Really? What is this incident
at the chemist shop?
Oh, well, you want the whole story,
or the abridged?
I'll give you the whole story.
No, I don't want the whole story.
It's a good story. Mr Greene.
Thank you. Whatever for, Ms Partridge?
A drink's in order,
don't you think, Simone?
I do. So where do we start?
Oh, well, what? You mean
the chemist shop or the drink?
The chemist shop.
Closed Captions by CSI