Rake (2010–2018): Season 1, Episode 3 - R vs Dana - full transcript
Andre?
Hello. How is the future
of the family name?
Good.
Did you take care of Micaela, Eric
and Mama while I was away?
Yes, they're all dead. I killed them.
Good boy. Don't forget to put your
bike away when it stops raining.
Someone else might get killed.
Look at you.
Look at you. It's only been three
days, and you're more beautiful.
Yeah, look, there's two men from
the police here to see you, my love.
What about? I don't know.
It's some misunderstanding, I think.
Mr Dana, hello. I'm Detective
Turner. This is Detective Bradbury.
Gentlemen, you're welcome in my home.
Thank you. I wonder whether we might -
I'm a big fan, by the way.
I think I've cooked everything from
your Clean Tastes, Clean Life book.
Oh, you flatter me.
Yes, there's a certain situation
in the Blue Mountains.
I believe you own a restaurant there.
My husband owns
the best restaurant there.
I have two restaurants,
one there and one in Surry Hills.
She still talks about the spaetzle.
Both restaurants have hats.
That's good. They'll have warm heads.
Um, anyway,
what we're trying to determine is -
And he's opening another one
in Newcastle. Really?
A delicate situation has been -
Gentlemen, excuse me,
it's been a long drive.
May I have a moment to freshen up?
Mm, of course.
Enjoy.
Oh, it's great cake, by the way.
Ah, torte, yes.
He uses wild aniseed.
Ooh, that'd be it, then. Have some more.
Oh, yes, please.
Do you cook?
He's bolting.
Um -
Mr Dana, are you alright there?
We're placing you under arrest.
You have the right to -
What is going on here?
My husband is a saint.
Are you alright?
Sonia, whatever happens,
you know that I love you as much now
as I did the day I married you.
You are my light.
Sonia.
Mm.
Oh.
What will become of us all, Mr Wizard?
..abdomen was ruptured by the gunman.
See, I told you. He's a hero.
Says so in caps.
Point blank range.
How could the guy miss?
Looks like he'll be back on his feet
and bankrupting certain tax cheats
any minute now.
You're on page five.
"Faces tribunal for a record ninth time,
behaviour of such sustained
and questionable nature
drags the legal profession
into disrepute."
Oh, does it give an actual date when
the legal profession was in repute?
They're taking bets around here.
Five to four, they disbar you.
I got in it at three to one. Oh.
I've got a wedding to pay for.
Brian, yeah.
Bevan. Bevan.
Where are you going?
Time to clear my good name.
Thank you, Carla.
Oh no, no, no.
Thank you, Legs.
You know Tammy?
Not nearly as well as he should.
He was always with Missy.
Tammy, I need you to go with Cleave
for a couple of hours.
Anything particular you want me to wear?
Yes, actually. Very particular.
It's not going to be a pleasant task.
No, but he's brought this on himself.
Exactly.
We don't feel comfortable
about this, Cleave.
Very uncomfortable, in fact.
But our hands are tied.
Since when is it a breach of ethics
to root a client?
Everyone's doing it. It's hardly news.
Barrister Fucks Client.
24 tomorrow and sunny.
Ninth appearance, mate. Cocaine
charges, contempt, unpaid fines.
I know, I know.
You're still facing tax charges,
and now this.
It's my cock-up,
and I have to learn to live with it.
I don't blame anyone but myself.
Well, it's good to hear you say that.
We are all accountable
for our own actions.
You're right.
Oh, I think both of you know
my new assistant, don't you? Tammy.
Hi, Denny. Hey, Johnny.
Whilst not condoning these actions
in any way, shape or form...
Not for a moment, no.
..the evidence remains, at best, murky.
Now whilst this committee shares
considerable concern
about your eccentricities,
we would be loath... Most loath.
..to blight a career that has been
known for its service to justice.
Barney's in your office.
What, you just let him wander in there?
He has a brief for you.
Why didn't he email it?
I don't know. You could ask him.
Did you bother to enquire whether
he'd made an appointment to see me?
No. No-one makes appointments with you.
It'd be a total waste of time.
You'd forget and if you remembered,
you'd fail to keep them
because you suddenly decide
you need to gamble.
Or attend some sort of blood sport.
Barney's your best friend,
and he looks miserable,
and I am bringing him a cup of tea.
Miserable? Not angry?
No, just miserable. Good.
Good.
Here. Barnyard.
Dropping off a brief for you.
Thanks, mate.
Have you seen Scarlet?
Ah, is that a general
or a specific question?
Yes, I've seen her.
No, I haven't seen her recently.
I've been having
my gonads charcoal-roasted.
Oh, God. The committee. I forgot. Sorry.
Don't apologise.
She didn't come home last night.
She hasn't called.
She's probably at her sister's, mate.
Yeah, sure.
I feel like my guts are being
ripped out by grappling hooks.
Drink your tea.
Hey, what's the name of that mate of
yours we used on the Colling's case?
Martin someone?
Oh no, mate, you don't want
a private dick, believe me.
Simon Martin. I'll get you his card.
He doesn't need one!
Look, mate, if there is another he,
and I can guarantee you there isn't,
he's not the problem.
He'll be a good part of it.
You want to just go and have a look
at my appointments for the day?
Just talk to her, mate.
In a general way.
Don't get bogged down in detail.
What if she has found someone better?
Kinder, more giving,
able to properly love her?
I can guarantee you she hasn't.
I didn't want to involve you.
But you've known us both forever.
You know what she means to me.
Barnyard, she'll come back, mate.
Yeah.
Here's that brief.
You'll love this one.
A couple of silks
were sniffing all over it,
but I guaranteed him that you were
the only man in Sydney to handle it.
Hey, Cleave, can you tell us
what's happening, mate?
Oh guys, just here for a cheeseburger.
Come on, mate, we've been here all day.
Cleaver Greene to see George Dana.
I look into my Sonia's eyes
and what do I see?
I see the small village I used to go
for holidays with my family
in the Tyrolean mountains.
Table number six!
There was a softness there,
but there's also fire.
Never mistake her softness
for an absence of passion.
She's a very passionate woman.
Our lovemaking is as joyous
as it can only be,
as it can only be when a couple
have truly committed to each other.
But therein lies the rub, doesn't it?
More rosemary. Yeah, I suppose.
You are up on bigamy charges.
Because at the same time
as being married to
the Tyrolean village for 11 years,
you've also been married
to Monique Ciava for six years.
Six very, very happy years,
let me tell you that much.
Monique is like a truffle.
Table number seven!
She's so hard to find,
so, ah, so delicious.
I'm sure she is.
But she's a very pissed off little
truffle at the moment, isn't she?
Ah, I guess.
I have made both my wives so sad.
Is that duck?
Yeah. Keep moving!
Here he comes. There he is.
Hey, Mr Potter! Hello, Mr Potter.
Hello. I want you beside me.
No, no, this is your moment.
How are you enjoying your hero status?
Ah well, I don't really consider
myself a hero.
I just did what any normal person
would do, given the situation.
Would you do it again?
Yes, I would do it again.
Yes, ah, thank you very much. Nurse.
Did you enjoy your stay in hospital?
Ah no, I'd rather stay in a hotel
next time, I think. Thank you.
I am married to each one of them,
separately, in my heart.
Each one of them
is an equal part of my life.
That's still equally against the law.
This rabbit business, fantastic.
Stifado.
An apprentice could do it.
How have you managed
to conceal this for six years?
No-one ever asked.
I have two restaurants, the new one
coming. I'm always between them.
Is there a chance you might have thought
your first marriage
was technically not a marriage?
No. Why?
Why didn't you just divorce
the Tyrolean village?
I gave her a solemn oath before God.
Then why didn't you take the truffle
as your mistress?
She wanted a proper marriage
in a proper church
with all the trimmings. No, no, no. No.
Monique is a devout Catholic.
I have a suspicion that bigamy
isn't a big winner with the Pope.
My understanding was that
he prefers marriage over infidelity.
Well, the law in this country
prefers infidelity.
Did either wife have some sort
of life-threatening illness
that would have been exacerbated
by divorce?
Both exceptionally fit women.
Listen, you can go to prison for this.
No way! I cannot go to prison.
I have responsibilities to my wives,
my children, my restaurants.
George, you're a chef. Throw me a bone.
I love them.
No, no, no. The law takes
a very dim view of love, mate.
I'm going to need some happy snaps
of you and your kids,
as many as you've got.
How do I face them?
How are you guys off
for lightly chillied soft shell crab
nestled on a bowl
of Pernod-infused buckwheat noodles?
Move in with me.
What?
David, you're crazy. You hardly know me.
No, I want to be surrounded
by female skin unctions and pantyhose
over the shower rail, and photos.
You know, I don't even know
what your family looks like.
They look like everyone else's family.
Not if they had you as a daughter.
I'll stay until you're well.
No promises.
A wound like this
could take a lifetime to heal.
It was a mistake.
Really? Mm.
And here I was saying to myself,
what a well thought-out plan it was.
I'm sorry.
I was there too.
Why do we always
come back to this place?
We had our chance a thousand years
ago at uni and we blew it.
No, actually, you blew it.
And the last time we made love -
You weren't married to Barney.
Yeah, but I was in a relationship
with someone else.
I could put that down to having a
cement bag of coke up our nostrils.
Last night was different.
So that's how we evaluate romance
now, is it?
The ability to have sex without drugs?
Mm. Maybe it is.
Cleaver, I do really want -
Barney is the only decent man I know.
We cannot do this to him.
I'm not in love with Barney.
You have to be in love with him.
You must. And even if you're not, try.
Because he fucking loves you
and 93% of the world
lives with people
that they don't even care about.
Are you sure this is what you want?
I won't forget last night.
Please try.
Remember that bloke at our wedding?
I think he was your cousin.
He removed his teeth
and whistled I Did It My Way.
Joel. He's a bit simple.
Joel.
And everyone laughed
at the poor bastard, except you.
You got up
and you sang right along with him.
Is it really so awful living with me?
I'm dying here, Barney.
I want a different life.
I want a... I want a break from the law.
Maybe go back to my painting.
Eight months ago we made love in
a riverbed in the Northern Territory.
You said this
was the happiest you'd ever been.
Did I?
You sure you aren't just
constructing all this in your head
to give you a reason to leave
so you can run off
and have your little affair?
Mum, Mum!
I got two gold stars for spelling
Tyrannosaurus. Can you spell it?
Ah, T -
No. I-T.
At 3:30 in the morning I'm watching
this doco on the Nature Channel.
Right, so I take it the sleeping
thing's still not happening for you?
I just bought this knife that can
cut through frozen meat and cars
and you never have to sharpen it,
and I'm thinking rather than watch
another infotainment program,
and spend another 195 bucks
on another useless piece of shit,
probably safer
to watch the Nature Channel.
Do you want to sit down? No, I'm fine.
And, ah, they're playing this doco
on chimpanzees
which are, according to this show,
98.7% us.
There's this 1.3% genetic disparity
that has something to do with
our ability to program DVD players.
But essentially they are us,
and we are them. OK.
Do you know how chimps live?
The females hang about in a circle,
picking fleas off each other,
and worrying that young Bobo's
getting in with the wrong crowd,
and wishing their anal skin
was as red and swollen as Hilda's.
Do you know what the males are doing?
Boring the crap out of their ex-wives?
They're waiting for the babes to go
on heat, and when they do, it's war.
The alpha male
tries to beat the betas off,
but in the end, he either manages to,
or someone better looking
takes over the pack,
and the betas just go back
to watching the females
pick fleas off each other.
I'm guessing buried beneath all this
is some epiphany on your part?
We don't live how we're meant to.
This is why
humankind is in so much trouble.
Fuzz, your father's here!
We marry and are expected
to stay faithful to one woman
for the rest of our lives,
no matter how earth-shatteringly dull
that might be.
But 98.7% of our DNA's
telling us we're morons.
There's this 1.3% DVD programming part
telling us we're doing the right thing.
Did something happen this week?
I fucked my best friend's wife.
You fucked Scarlet? Oh shit, Cleaver!
How could you?
I didn't really mean to.
Oh my God, poor Barney! Poor Scarlet!
Oh, well, I didn't do it by myself.
Why on earth
would you do a thing like that?
I think my percentage chimp DNA
is higher than others.
O Heaven
That such companions thou'ldst unfold
And put in every honest hand a whip
To lash the rascals
Naked through the world!
Terrific. You can remember
Shakespearean quotes,
but you need Mum to remind you
when my birthday is.
Why do you think that is?
So you get a present.
How's the new love of your life?
She's great.
She's in your English class, yeah?
Yep. She's into Shakespeare, too.
Yeah. Hence the sudden interest.
Maybe.
'So, to understand
the character of Iago,
first you need to define a bad man.'
Alright.
Someone who...
..someone who wilfully,
with premeditation,
a clear understanding of their actions
and the weight of their consequence,
commits injury anyway.
Good. That's exactly what Iago does.
Ruins Othello's life,
and the whole time
he's pretending he's his best mate.
Who is this prick?
No, Iago's a much more
complex character than that.
His reasons
are psychological and nuanced.
No, he just wants something that's
not his and fuck everyone else.
No, that's a stupidly reductive
reading of the script, my friend.
You're an hour late for school, come on.
Mm. Mm.
Ah, it's building. Have you
spoken to Sonia, the first wife?
Doesn't want to know. Subpoena her?
Try and have a chat first.
Wife number two wants to melt
his balls and wear them as earrings.
Yeah, you can't blame her.
Why don't you go and lavish wife one
with some of the old Barnyard charm?
I have to go and see Judgy in chambers.
Why?
Social catch-up.
What the fuck is this I hear about
you intending to plead not guilty?
Bigamy is an offence
of strict liability, Cleave.
There's no defence to it
unless a spouse shoots through.
Is that the case here?
Not that I'm aware.
So? My hands are tied, Jim.
My client wants his day in court.
No, he wants another week in the press.
He knows public sympathy is building.
Don't let him do it, Jim.
He has no grounds.
I do. Crimes Act, Section 52.
Whosoever steals rocks, stones,
soil, sand or clay
from private or government land
is liable to six months imprisonment.
Under this statute,
my son should be doing hard labour
for nicking a couple
of igneous rocks up at Noosa.
You've been putting it
up your nose again.
The laws pertaining to bigamy are
just as absurd and just as outdated.
I hate to have
to break this to you, Cleaver,
and I know it doesn't accord
with your world view,
but the fact that you don't like
a law isn't a defence.
De facto relationships
now carry equal weight under law.
So do gay relationships.
So what does this mean?
That a gay guy
with a couple of long-term partners,
or a businessman who installs
his mistress in a flat up the Cross
should be similarly charged with bigamy?
We could fill the jails overnight.
That's a separate issue.
Jim, don't let -
No, Meg, it's the same issue.
Didn't you hear our Attorney-General
on the radio?
He was forced to admit
that there are probably hundreds of
polygamists in this state right now.
They're not being prosecuted. Why?
Because the vast majority of them
are Muslim.
And so the wives don't, or can't,
complain,
and the powers that be turn a blind eye.
Well, that's a cultural issue.
So culture's now a defence is it,
Jim? Great!
Well, if my client turns out
to be a Mormon, then -
Oh, don't go there, Jim. It's bullshit.
Jim, Jim, Jim.
Bigamy turns out to be a crime
only when
one of the wives cracks the shits.
OK? It's petty vengeance, at best.
I'm telling you for once in your
miserable life, show some ticker.
Your argument has some merit, Cleave.
Oh, you are a weak, weak man, Jim!
18 years I spent married to that cow.
Look, try not to make a mockery
of my ruling when this hits court,
or I'll crucify you.
Jim.
Sonia Dana? My name's Barney Meagher.
I'm a lawyer assisting your husband.
I clearly did not love him
the way he needed to be loved.
I failed him. I drove him
into the arms of another woman.
I'm sure you didn't. You've got
every right to feel angry.
But if your husband goes to prison,
it's your children who'll suffer.
I am aware of that.
I will help him whatever way I can.
That's very good of you.
I always knew in my heart
I wasn't meeting his needs.
You sense it, don't you?
That gnawing sensation, way down inside.
You hope you're wrong,
but you know you're not.
Never know when they're
going to hurt us, or how to stop it.
When you love, you're a prisoner.
When you love and
you're not loved back, it's hell.
I tried so hard to make George happy.
I supported her when
she dropped out of law for a year.
Paid for art classes.
I paid for his first restaurant.
In the end, you could buy them India.
It wouldn't mean a damn thing.
Nothing.
Are you the same with both wives?
No, I suppose not. Sonia likes me
to be the dominant one
and Monique prefers me
quiet and supportive.
Which is most you?
Different women bring out
different things. Who remembers?
In the end, you are what women want, no?
How'd you make out
with the Tyrolean village?
Oh, she's on side. She's a lovely,
warm woman. Very vulnerable.
Do you have any comments?
Yeah, yeah, but on side?
Yeah.
Your Honour, Mr Dana knowingly,
and with full appreciation
of the penalties involved,
contravened Section 92 of the Crimes Act
by choosing to marry two women
and raise two separate families
at the same time.
He hid this arrangement from both women
and fully intended
to maintain this lifestyle
until one of his wives
discovered the truth.
The defendant has committed
a devastating and fundamental
breach of trust
that has destroyed the lives
of two families.
One shudders to think of the impact
such deceit will have
upon the lives of six innocent children.
Mr Greene.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our Crimes Act is littered with
offences that are meaningless today.
It is an Act
that was promulgated in 1900.
Now admittedly, there have been
many amendments since.
But still, in many sections,
it reflects the fundamental hypocrisies
that were inherent in Victorian Britain.
Things have changed,
ladies and gentlemen.
And in an age where morality
is a peculiarly individual matter,
Mr Dana has committed no real crime.
Mrs Dana, the second.
Did you marry George Dana
on August 30, 2004?
I did.
Were you aware that George
was already married at the time?
Of course not.
No further questions.
Er, my client has treated you
very shabbily, hasn't he?
We stood at the altar before God,
and my parents,
and George promised
that he would be true to me forever.
And then what?
A friend sang Wind Beneath My Wings.
I meant more after that.
He was violent, wasn't he?
No. Never.
He's a very gentle man. Really?
But mentally cruel.
He was my fairytale prince.
And now he's destroyed everything
that we've worked to build.
Which was what, again?
A wonderful life together.
Children.
A home.
Sorry, which one of these has George
failed to deliver on, Mrs Dana?
I mean, you have the house,
the three lovely children.
If you so choose,
you can still have a life together.
He has another entire family.
So, to understand,
if you had remained ignorant
of the existence
of the other wife and children,
you would still be deliriously happy?
He's deceived me.
Isn't it entirely possible
that when he was with you,
he was being completely sincere,
and when he was with the other
Mrs Dana, he was also sincere?
You can only be sincere with one person.
Oh. That's a Catholic thing, isn't it?
Your Honour!
I withdraw it. No further questions,
thank you, Your Honour.
With Your Honour's indulgence...
You want more?
..I have written down on these cards,
questions lifted directly
from Scott Nowell's
Guide To Being A Great Dad.
Ah, Mr Dana, what is
your second child's favourite toy?
From my first marriage?
Let's start there.
Micaela.
A little donkey she calls Mr Jasper.
And from second?
Roman.
His favourite toy
is Peter Patch the elephant.
Right.
Tell me about the favourite sport
of your youngest son,
from your first marriage.
Eric.
Eric is soccer mad.
Every Saturday,
I have to take him to the game,
then I go to the Blue Mountains
to take my eldest daughter
to her basketball,
then I have to hurry back to Surry Hills
to take my little one
to her evening ballet class.
Your Honour!
He's a model father
in all but one minor respect.
He loves his children.
He loves his wives.
He was doing it all
for his own gratification.
How can circumnavigating the
bloody continent three times a week
and supporting six children,
two houses and two wives
be at your own gratification?
He was just trying
to escape the inevitable boredom
that comes with a long-term marriage.
We certainly know about that.
You've just summarised
the position of the law, Meg.
Due to some
hairshirt Calvinist tradition
or premature bottle feeding,
you believe that all people should
suffer through marriage until death.
No reprieves,
just jail for anyone who gives in
to the inevitable boredom.
There is a small get-out-of-jail
clause called divorce. Thank God.
He didn't want to divorce them.
He loves them.
Let's adjourn for the day.
I might have more energy for this
tomorrow.
I doubt it.
There is someone else.
Keep your shirt on, Barn!
She admitted it.
Shit. OK.
Did she say who?
No.
Good. I mean, good that you've
opened up a line of communication.
She said she loves someone else
and she needs to find herself.
Why in times of crisis
do women speak fluent cliche?
Are you OK?
I locked myself in the study.
Put on some Diamond.
Tried to take stock of my life.
Are you sure she's not leaving you
because of your musical taste?
You don't even know
how to get depressed properly.
Can we go out for a drink?
Please.
There's a hint of passionfruit in this.
Bit too sweet.
Oh fuck, mate.
It's not a bloody wine tasting.
We're supposed to be getting shit-faced
and weeping
about the futility of existence.
I'm the only one holding my end up.
I'm used to being positive.
Well, try not to be, OK?
You've brought me
to this bloody lawyers' bar.
Full of men
with irritable bowel syndrome.
Let's go somewhere where I feel a
bit more like a gynaecologist, yeah?
Scarlet hates the routine.
She hates
how ordinary our life has become.
I love our little walks around Bronte.
You know, lunches at the pub.
Why does everyone want a big life?
Oh, no!
I told you it was a lawyers' bar.
She even admitted he was hopeless.
An indulgent, tragic,
middle-aged failure.
Right, well, there you go.
I suppose it could just be the sex.
She said
he wasn't even all that good in bed.
I just don't get it.
Ah, Cleaver.
Ah! Barney, you remember Melissa.
Yeah. Barney. Hi, Cleaver.
Hello, Melissa. Don't you just love
this place, eh? Our kind of crowd.
We have a booking. Table for six.
Potter.
Is Scarlet here?
If you two'd like to join us -
She's having an affair.
Right. I'm sorry.
Don't think I meant
to say that out loud.
Hope it all works out.
How are you, Cleaver?
I'm tickety-boo.
Good to see you, mate.
I'll call you. Thanks, mate.
Can we get a double vodka martini
and a passionfruit whip
for my father here?
Can we put it on their table,
please? We're with them.
So here I was, six,
on one train going to Orvieto
holding the wrong man's hand
and my parents were on a train for
Florence with the wrong daughter!
Good Lord, it's Clark Kent!
No, it's Superman.
G'day, Norton. How is my wounded hero?
It's just a kryptonite flesh wound.
I believe you know everyone here,
except for Melissa, my, well,
the love of my life.
Hello, Melissa. David
has certainly kept you a secret.
So how's that ATX thing going?
Oh, it's a bloody goldmine.
I swear, there's
another house and pool in it.
Run for another 18 months, at least.
Excuse me.
What are you drinking, sweetheart?
Fuck off, Norton.
Please, someone's going to come in.
You know I'm heartbroken.
You left the club without a boo
and I had to find another girlie
to tag team.
I'm out of it. For good. Mm-hm.
Please, I beg you.
Don't say a word to David.
So the whole time you were dining
out on the Supreme Justice here,
you were thinking of studying law?
Well, I had to do something
to keep me awake.
No, no, no, no.
Let's grab a cubicle.
Come on, I'll give you ten bucks.
You give me some oral.
Mate's rates,
because I am a mate of David's
and we don't want to stuff his evening.
If you're here for marriage advice,
don't do it.
It's an invention
by 12th Century legislators
to deal with progeniture.
I'm in trouble.
It's a long queue.
I don't have anyone else.
What happened to Harry,
sorry, Hero Potter?
I can't tell him. He can't know.
Oh, I'm sorry. How does this work?
You piss me off, tell me you don't
want me in your life anymore -
I had this school friend
and she met Robert at a party
when she was 23
and they talked together all night.
And then as the sun came up,
he proposed to her on the spot
and she said yes.
I've been there. Spiked punch.
And now they have three kids,
and they're always laughing,
and, oh fuck it, Cleave,
they just love each other.
I mean, is it so wrong for me
to just want that?
And that's what you have with David,
sorry, Harry?
Will you please help me?
Sonia Dana, despite all that's happened,
do you continue to love your husband?
Yes, I do. Very much.
Would you say he's been
a good father to your children?
He's a fine father.
They love him, he loves them.
And he's always provided adequately?
He's a generous man, always.
We're very comfortable.
So when it comes time for
the judge to hand down his sentence,
what would you like that outcome to be?
Seven years in prison.
So, even though - I beg your pardon?
Yes. I thought long and hard
about what you said
and you were right.
I was blaming myself
for not fulfilling his desires. So -
That'll be all. Thank you, Your Honour.
Your Honour, Mrs Dana the first
is a defence witness.
Surely my learned friend would like
to hear her complete testimony.
Yes, proceed, Mrs Dana.
We can only give what we have.
And I gave that.
And you abused it.
You're too greedy, George.
You expect too much.
Thank you.
Ms Makepeace?
No questions, Your Honour.
Mr Greene has done superbly.
George Dana is in most respects
a model husband, only twice.
The reality is, if Mr Dana
had married his first wife
and just decided to have a squalid,
shabby affair with Monique,
he would not be before us today.
Indeed, he could have still had kids
with his second great love,
he could have bought a house with her,
the law would take no umbrage.
But because Mr Dana chose
to do the honourable thing,
the thing that both women wanted,
which was to marry them,
Ms Makepeace now wants
to incarcerate him.
We have shown Mr Dana to be a generous -
Ah, Your Honour? Sorry to interrupt
the sermon on the mount.
Some information has just come to hand
that has great relevance to this matter.
Three wives!
Didn't you think when you were
charged, this fact might emerge?
I was hoping it wouldn't.
I don't know
if there's a law for trigamy!
Bugger me, I had the judge right here.
Right here! Who is she?
I met her in Newcastle.
Oh, the new restaurant, yeah?
Her name is Juno.
She is like a juniper berry.
She's got a sharp flavour
but with sweetness also -
I don't care if she carries
a seed pod on her back.
Stop marrying people!
I love these women.
Yeah, well now you're going to have
to learn to love men in showers.
I have no idea how to save you.
How did security ever let you in?
I need a minute of your time, mate.
You can't afford it, sunshine.
If you want to make an appointment,
speak to my girl.
I don't do appointments.
Alright, Cleaver, what's this about?
Our mutual friend, Melissa.
Who? Oh, the slut.
You don't know her,
you've never met her,
you know nothing about her past, OK?
Let her get on with her life.
She's earned that.
It's no skin off your nose.
Don't tell me you have feelings
for the slut, too?
My God! First David, now you.
I promise you,
I will drag you down to my level.
And not even I want to live there.
Cleaver, I eat miserable,
sad failures like you
on an hourly basis.
I will do with Miss Missy
whatever I fucking well feel like!
Are we clear on that front?
These damn lift doors.
I've been warning them about this.
I'm unchaining you.
You can have your precious freedom.
Barney, we should -
No, no, go.
Soar like an eagle.
I still have feelings for you.
I doubt you ever have.
That's not fair. That is so not fair.
I have always stood by you.
And I've never given you
a bloody reason not to!
OK, you're angry. You're hurting
and you're lashing out. I get that.
But we need to try to protect
what we have here -
I've been going through your artwork.
Allegorical Woman Three.
It's only allegorical, because you
couldn't make it look like a woman.
Barney,
you're just demeaning yourself now.
You'll regret this in the morning.
No, I regret not saying it earlier.
Your art is crap.
You have no discernible talent.
The idea you can give up the law
to paint is laughable.
Oh, hell.
I just put my foot
through Allegorical Woman's breast.
Or was that her foot?
Let's not delude ourselves here.
George Dana has no regard
for his many wives, children
or for the moral laws
that underpin our society.
There are no mitigating circumstances.
Mr Greene passes this crime off as
a piece of trivia, an anachronism,
a statute from the Palaeozoic era.
Why? Because it doesn't suit him.
If we were all allowed
to break laws that we disagree with,
society would be in chaos.
We could not enter into an agreement,
or transaction of any kind,
with any certainty.
Promises made under oath matter.
It is not enough to say
I don't like the law.
Mr Dana has proven himself
to be a liar and a criminal.
Mr Greene?
Oh.
Thank you, Your Honour.
If I wasn't dozing off, I think I
may have heard Ms Makepeace suggest
that marriage is an institution
that underpins our society.
But she's wrong.
One in two marriages now end in grief.
Here.
Five women's magazines,
picked at random.
Brad - The Affair I Had To Have.
Halle - I Want Him Back.
Marriage is now a sport.
It's not an institution.
May I?
The truth is,
George Dana, ladies and gentlemen,
is a man from a bygone era.
He's a man who still holds steadfastly
to the idea of honour and commitment
to those he loves.
He didn't set out
to break up the institution
of marriage or to hurt these women.
He still believes in it.
He may be its last true champion.
His sole purpose
was to make these women happy,
and it still is.
Jail terms for rapists,
murderers, paedophiles.
But not for George Dana,
a man who simply loved too much.
We find the defendant...
..guilty.
I agree with the prosecution
when they argue
that Mr Dana was aware of the law,
and knowingly deceived
three decent women.
Finally, some spine. That said,
I also find merit
in Mr Greene's argument
that the penalties under the law
greatly outweigh
the impact of the crime.
I believe Mr Dana did love his wives,
but he did knowingly break the law.
Worse, he lied to this court
by not declaring a third wife
and thus he proves himself again
a person of unreliable character.
I'm giving Mr Dana
a three-year sentence...
Yes.
..but I'm going to suspend all
but three months of that sentence...
Weak, weak man.
..and he must immediately divorce
at least two of his wives.
Try not to marry anyone
while you're inside, will ya?
My God, you were so pretty.
You look like your Mum. You can tell
she was Spanish, though.
You have changed a bit
around the cheeks and the chin.
It was taken near Cozumel, in Mexico.
Mum and Dad were a bit merry.
We'd all been laughing and swimming
and collecting sea shells together.
Well, they're here now
and welcome in our home.
Hey.
You're still up.
You know they've got this drill bit
that never needs sharpening?
Even after a hundred hours, into metal?
Listen, I don't know what
you did or said, but thank you.
Oh, I just had a friendly chat.
I think, I think Norton felt really bad.
David is a good, good,
warm-hearted man who loves me.
All this, and a tax lawyer.
And I know I can be happy with him.
But I don't know why,
when things turned to shit,
I came to you and not him.
Think I'm gonna buy this drill.
Goodnight.
Closed Captions by CSI
Hello. How is the future
of the family name?
Good.
Did you take care of Micaela, Eric
and Mama while I was away?
Yes, they're all dead. I killed them.
Good boy. Don't forget to put your
bike away when it stops raining.
Someone else might get killed.
Look at you.
Look at you. It's only been three
days, and you're more beautiful.
Yeah, look, there's two men from
the police here to see you, my love.
What about? I don't know.
It's some misunderstanding, I think.
Mr Dana, hello. I'm Detective
Turner. This is Detective Bradbury.
Gentlemen, you're welcome in my home.
Thank you. I wonder whether we might -
I'm a big fan, by the way.
I think I've cooked everything from
your Clean Tastes, Clean Life book.
Oh, you flatter me.
Yes, there's a certain situation
in the Blue Mountains.
I believe you own a restaurant there.
My husband owns
the best restaurant there.
I have two restaurants,
one there and one in Surry Hills.
She still talks about the spaetzle.
Both restaurants have hats.
That's good. They'll have warm heads.
Um, anyway,
what we're trying to determine is -
And he's opening another one
in Newcastle. Really?
A delicate situation has been -
Gentlemen, excuse me,
it's been a long drive.
May I have a moment to freshen up?
Mm, of course.
Enjoy.
Oh, it's great cake, by the way.
Ah, torte, yes.
He uses wild aniseed.
Ooh, that'd be it, then. Have some more.
Oh, yes, please.
Do you cook?
He's bolting.
Um -
Mr Dana, are you alright there?
We're placing you under arrest.
You have the right to -
What is going on here?
My husband is a saint.
Are you alright?
Sonia, whatever happens,
you know that I love you as much now
as I did the day I married you.
You are my light.
Sonia.
Mm.
Oh.
What will become of us all, Mr Wizard?
..abdomen was ruptured by the gunman.
See, I told you. He's a hero.
Says so in caps.
Point blank range.
How could the guy miss?
Looks like he'll be back on his feet
and bankrupting certain tax cheats
any minute now.
You're on page five.
"Faces tribunal for a record ninth time,
behaviour of such sustained
and questionable nature
drags the legal profession
into disrepute."
Oh, does it give an actual date when
the legal profession was in repute?
They're taking bets around here.
Five to four, they disbar you.
I got in it at three to one. Oh.
I've got a wedding to pay for.
Brian, yeah.
Bevan. Bevan.
Where are you going?
Time to clear my good name.
Thank you, Carla.
Oh no, no, no.
Thank you, Legs.
You know Tammy?
Not nearly as well as he should.
He was always with Missy.
Tammy, I need you to go with Cleave
for a couple of hours.
Anything particular you want me to wear?
Yes, actually. Very particular.
It's not going to be a pleasant task.
No, but he's brought this on himself.
Exactly.
We don't feel comfortable
about this, Cleave.
Very uncomfortable, in fact.
But our hands are tied.
Since when is it a breach of ethics
to root a client?
Everyone's doing it. It's hardly news.
Barrister Fucks Client.
24 tomorrow and sunny.
Ninth appearance, mate. Cocaine
charges, contempt, unpaid fines.
I know, I know.
You're still facing tax charges,
and now this.
It's my cock-up,
and I have to learn to live with it.
I don't blame anyone but myself.
Well, it's good to hear you say that.
We are all accountable
for our own actions.
You're right.
Oh, I think both of you know
my new assistant, don't you? Tammy.
Hi, Denny. Hey, Johnny.
Whilst not condoning these actions
in any way, shape or form...
Not for a moment, no.
..the evidence remains, at best, murky.
Now whilst this committee shares
considerable concern
about your eccentricities,
we would be loath... Most loath.
..to blight a career that has been
known for its service to justice.
Barney's in your office.
What, you just let him wander in there?
He has a brief for you.
Why didn't he email it?
I don't know. You could ask him.
Did you bother to enquire whether
he'd made an appointment to see me?
No. No-one makes appointments with you.
It'd be a total waste of time.
You'd forget and if you remembered,
you'd fail to keep them
because you suddenly decide
you need to gamble.
Or attend some sort of blood sport.
Barney's your best friend,
and he looks miserable,
and I am bringing him a cup of tea.
Miserable? Not angry?
No, just miserable. Good.
Good.
Here. Barnyard.
Dropping off a brief for you.
Thanks, mate.
Have you seen Scarlet?
Ah, is that a general
or a specific question?
Yes, I've seen her.
No, I haven't seen her recently.
I've been having
my gonads charcoal-roasted.
Oh, God. The committee. I forgot. Sorry.
Don't apologise.
She didn't come home last night.
She hasn't called.
She's probably at her sister's, mate.
Yeah, sure.
I feel like my guts are being
ripped out by grappling hooks.
Drink your tea.
Hey, what's the name of that mate of
yours we used on the Colling's case?
Martin someone?
Oh no, mate, you don't want
a private dick, believe me.
Simon Martin. I'll get you his card.
He doesn't need one!
Look, mate, if there is another he,
and I can guarantee you there isn't,
he's not the problem.
He'll be a good part of it.
You want to just go and have a look
at my appointments for the day?
Just talk to her, mate.
In a general way.
Don't get bogged down in detail.
What if she has found someone better?
Kinder, more giving,
able to properly love her?
I can guarantee you she hasn't.
I didn't want to involve you.
But you've known us both forever.
You know what she means to me.
Barnyard, she'll come back, mate.
Yeah.
Here's that brief.
You'll love this one.
A couple of silks
were sniffing all over it,
but I guaranteed him that you were
the only man in Sydney to handle it.
Hey, Cleave, can you tell us
what's happening, mate?
Oh guys, just here for a cheeseburger.
Come on, mate, we've been here all day.
Cleaver Greene to see George Dana.
I look into my Sonia's eyes
and what do I see?
I see the small village I used to go
for holidays with my family
in the Tyrolean mountains.
Table number six!
There was a softness there,
but there's also fire.
Never mistake her softness
for an absence of passion.
She's a very passionate woman.
Our lovemaking is as joyous
as it can only be,
as it can only be when a couple
have truly committed to each other.
But therein lies the rub, doesn't it?
More rosemary. Yeah, I suppose.
You are up on bigamy charges.
Because at the same time
as being married to
the Tyrolean village for 11 years,
you've also been married
to Monique Ciava for six years.
Six very, very happy years,
let me tell you that much.
Monique is like a truffle.
Table number seven!
She's so hard to find,
so, ah, so delicious.
I'm sure she is.
But she's a very pissed off little
truffle at the moment, isn't she?
Ah, I guess.
I have made both my wives so sad.
Is that duck?
Yeah. Keep moving!
Here he comes. There he is.
Hey, Mr Potter! Hello, Mr Potter.
Hello. I want you beside me.
No, no, this is your moment.
How are you enjoying your hero status?
Ah well, I don't really consider
myself a hero.
I just did what any normal person
would do, given the situation.
Would you do it again?
Yes, I would do it again.
Yes, ah, thank you very much. Nurse.
Did you enjoy your stay in hospital?
Ah no, I'd rather stay in a hotel
next time, I think. Thank you.
I am married to each one of them,
separately, in my heart.
Each one of them
is an equal part of my life.
That's still equally against the law.
This rabbit business, fantastic.
Stifado.
An apprentice could do it.
How have you managed
to conceal this for six years?
No-one ever asked.
I have two restaurants, the new one
coming. I'm always between them.
Is there a chance you might have thought
your first marriage
was technically not a marriage?
No. Why?
Why didn't you just divorce
the Tyrolean village?
I gave her a solemn oath before God.
Then why didn't you take the truffle
as your mistress?
She wanted a proper marriage
in a proper church
with all the trimmings. No, no, no. No.
Monique is a devout Catholic.
I have a suspicion that bigamy
isn't a big winner with the Pope.
My understanding was that
he prefers marriage over infidelity.
Well, the law in this country
prefers infidelity.
Did either wife have some sort
of life-threatening illness
that would have been exacerbated
by divorce?
Both exceptionally fit women.
Listen, you can go to prison for this.
No way! I cannot go to prison.
I have responsibilities to my wives,
my children, my restaurants.
George, you're a chef. Throw me a bone.
I love them.
No, no, no. The law takes
a very dim view of love, mate.
I'm going to need some happy snaps
of you and your kids,
as many as you've got.
How do I face them?
How are you guys off
for lightly chillied soft shell crab
nestled on a bowl
of Pernod-infused buckwheat noodles?
Move in with me.
What?
David, you're crazy. You hardly know me.
No, I want to be surrounded
by female skin unctions and pantyhose
over the shower rail, and photos.
You know, I don't even know
what your family looks like.
They look like everyone else's family.
Not if they had you as a daughter.
I'll stay until you're well.
No promises.
A wound like this
could take a lifetime to heal.
It was a mistake.
Really? Mm.
And here I was saying to myself,
what a well thought-out plan it was.
I'm sorry.
I was there too.
Why do we always
come back to this place?
We had our chance a thousand years
ago at uni and we blew it.
No, actually, you blew it.
And the last time we made love -
You weren't married to Barney.
Yeah, but I was in a relationship
with someone else.
I could put that down to having a
cement bag of coke up our nostrils.
Last night was different.
So that's how we evaluate romance
now, is it?
The ability to have sex without drugs?
Mm. Maybe it is.
Cleaver, I do really want -
Barney is the only decent man I know.
We cannot do this to him.
I'm not in love with Barney.
You have to be in love with him.
You must. And even if you're not, try.
Because he fucking loves you
and 93% of the world
lives with people
that they don't even care about.
Are you sure this is what you want?
I won't forget last night.
Please try.
Remember that bloke at our wedding?
I think he was your cousin.
He removed his teeth
and whistled I Did It My Way.
Joel. He's a bit simple.
Joel.
And everyone laughed
at the poor bastard, except you.
You got up
and you sang right along with him.
Is it really so awful living with me?
I'm dying here, Barney.
I want a different life.
I want a... I want a break from the law.
Maybe go back to my painting.
Eight months ago we made love in
a riverbed in the Northern Territory.
You said this
was the happiest you'd ever been.
Did I?
You sure you aren't just
constructing all this in your head
to give you a reason to leave
so you can run off
and have your little affair?
Mum, Mum!
I got two gold stars for spelling
Tyrannosaurus. Can you spell it?
Ah, T -
No. I-T.
At 3:30 in the morning I'm watching
this doco on the Nature Channel.
Right, so I take it the sleeping
thing's still not happening for you?
I just bought this knife that can
cut through frozen meat and cars
and you never have to sharpen it,
and I'm thinking rather than watch
another infotainment program,
and spend another 195 bucks
on another useless piece of shit,
probably safer
to watch the Nature Channel.
Do you want to sit down? No, I'm fine.
And, ah, they're playing this doco
on chimpanzees
which are, according to this show,
98.7% us.
There's this 1.3% genetic disparity
that has something to do with
our ability to program DVD players.
But essentially they are us,
and we are them. OK.
Do you know how chimps live?
The females hang about in a circle,
picking fleas off each other,
and worrying that young Bobo's
getting in with the wrong crowd,
and wishing their anal skin
was as red and swollen as Hilda's.
Do you know what the males are doing?
Boring the crap out of their ex-wives?
They're waiting for the babes to go
on heat, and when they do, it's war.
The alpha male
tries to beat the betas off,
but in the end, he either manages to,
or someone better looking
takes over the pack,
and the betas just go back
to watching the females
pick fleas off each other.
I'm guessing buried beneath all this
is some epiphany on your part?
We don't live how we're meant to.
This is why
humankind is in so much trouble.
Fuzz, your father's here!
We marry and are expected
to stay faithful to one woman
for the rest of our lives,
no matter how earth-shatteringly dull
that might be.
But 98.7% of our DNA's
telling us we're morons.
There's this 1.3% DVD programming part
telling us we're doing the right thing.
Did something happen this week?
I fucked my best friend's wife.
You fucked Scarlet? Oh shit, Cleaver!
How could you?
I didn't really mean to.
Oh my God, poor Barney! Poor Scarlet!
Oh, well, I didn't do it by myself.
Why on earth
would you do a thing like that?
I think my percentage chimp DNA
is higher than others.
O Heaven
That such companions thou'ldst unfold
And put in every honest hand a whip
To lash the rascals
Naked through the world!
Terrific. You can remember
Shakespearean quotes,
but you need Mum to remind you
when my birthday is.
Why do you think that is?
So you get a present.
How's the new love of your life?
She's great.
She's in your English class, yeah?
Yep. She's into Shakespeare, too.
Yeah. Hence the sudden interest.
Maybe.
'So, to understand
the character of Iago,
first you need to define a bad man.'
Alright.
Someone who...
..someone who wilfully,
with premeditation,
a clear understanding of their actions
and the weight of their consequence,
commits injury anyway.
Good. That's exactly what Iago does.
Ruins Othello's life,
and the whole time
he's pretending he's his best mate.
Who is this prick?
No, Iago's a much more
complex character than that.
His reasons
are psychological and nuanced.
No, he just wants something that's
not his and fuck everyone else.
No, that's a stupidly reductive
reading of the script, my friend.
You're an hour late for school, come on.
Mm. Mm.
Ah, it's building. Have you
spoken to Sonia, the first wife?
Doesn't want to know. Subpoena her?
Try and have a chat first.
Wife number two wants to melt
his balls and wear them as earrings.
Yeah, you can't blame her.
Why don't you go and lavish wife one
with some of the old Barnyard charm?
I have to go and see Judgy in chambers.
Why?
Social catch-up.
What the fuck is this I hear about
you intending to plead not guilty?
Bigamy is an offence
of strict liability, Cleave.
There's no defence to it
unless a spouse shoots through.
Is that the case here?
Not that I'm aware.
So? My hands are tied, Jim.
My client wants his day in court.
No, he wants another week in the press.
He knows public sympathy is building.
Don't let him do it, Jim.
He has no grounds.
I do. Crimes Act, Section 52.
Whosoever steals rocks, stones,
soil, sand or clay
from private or government land
is liable to six months imprisonment.
Under this statute,
my son should be doing hard labour
for nicking a couple
of igneous rocks up at Noosa.
You've been putting it
up your nose again.
The laws pertaining to bigamy are
just as absurd and just as outdated.
I hate to have
to break this to you, Cleaver,
and I know it doesn't accord
with your world view,
but the fact that you don't like
a law isn't a defence.
De facto relationships
now carry equal weight under law.
So do gay relationships.
So what does this mean?
That a gay guy
with a couple of long-term partners,
or a businessman who installs
his mistress in a flat up the Cross
should be similarly charged with bigamy?
We could fill the jails overnight.
That's a separate issue.
Jim, don't let -
No, Meg, it's the same issue.
Didn't you hear our Attorney-General
on the radio?
He was forced to admit
that there are probably hundreds of
polygamists in this state right now.
They're not being prosecuted. Why?
Because the vast majority of them
are Muslim.
And so the wives don't, or can't,
complain,
and the powers that be turn a blind eye.
Well, that's a cultural issue.
So culture's now a defence is it,
Jim? Great!
Well, if my client turns out
to be a Mormon, then -
Oh, don't go there, Jim. It's bullshit.
Jim, Jim, Jim.
Bigamy turns out to be a crime
only when
one of the wives cracks the shits.
OK? It's petty vengeance, at best.
I'm telling you for once in your
miserable life, show some ticker.
Your argument has some merit, Cleave.
Oh, you are a weak, weak man, Jim!
18 years I spent married to that cow.
Look, try not to make a mockery
of my ruling when this hits court,
or I'll crucify you.
Jim.
Sonia Dana? My name's Barney Meagher.
I'm a lawyer assisting your husband.
I clearly did not love him
the way he needed to be loved.
I failed him. I drove him
into the arms of another woman.
I'm sure you didn't. You've got
every right to feel angry.
But if your husband goes to prison,
it's your children who'll suffer.
I am aware of that.
I will help him whatever way I can.
That's very good of you.
I always knew in my heart
I wasn't meeting his needs.
You sense it, don't you?
That gnawing sensation, way down inside.
You hope you're wrong,
but you know you're not.
Never know when they're
going to hurt us, or how to stop it.
When you love, you're a prisoner.
When you love and
you're not loved back, it's hell.
I tried so hard to make George happy.
I supported her when
she dropped out of law for a year.
Paid for art classes.
I paid for his first restaurant.
In the end, you could buy them India.
It wouldn't mean a damn thing.
Nothing.
Are you the same with both wives?
No, I suppose not. Sonia likes me
to be the dominant one
and Monique prefers me
quiet and supportive.
Which is most you?
Different women bring out
different things. Who remembers?
In the end, you are what women want, no?
How'd you make out
with the Tyrolean village?
Oh, she's on side. She's a lovely,
warm woman. Very vulnerable.
Do you have any comments?
Yeah, yeah, but on side?
Yeah.
Your Honour, Mr Dana knowingly,
and with full appreciation
of the penalties involved,
contravened Section 92 of the Crimes Act
by choosing to marry two women
and raise two separate families
at the same time.
He hid this arrangement from both women
and fully intended
to maintain this lifestyle
until one of his wives
discovered the truth.
The defendant has committed
a devastating and fundamental
breach of trust
that has destroyed the lives
of two families.
One shudders to think of the impact
such deceit will have
upon the lives of six innocent children.
Mr Greene.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our Crimes Act is littered with
offences that are meaningless today.
It is an Act
that was promulgated in 1900.
Now admittedly, there have been
many amendments since.
But still, in many sections,
it reflects the fundamental hypocrisies
that were inherent in Victorian Britain.
Things have changed,
ladies and gentlemen.
And in an age where morality
is a peculiarly individual matter,
Mr Dana has committed no real crime.
Mrs Dana, the second.
Did you marry George Dana
on August 30, 2004?
I did.
Were you aware that George
was already married at the time?
Of course not.
No further questions.
Er, my client has treated you
very shabbily, hasn't he?
We stood at the altar before God,
and my parents,
and George promised
that he would be true to me forever.
And then what?
A friend sang Wind Beneath My Wings.
I meant more after that.
He was violent, wasn't he?
No. Never.
He's a very gentle man. Really?
But mentally cruel.
He was my fairytale prince.
And now he's destroyed everything
that we've worked to build.
Which was what, again?
A wonderful life together.
Children.
A home.
Sorry, which one of these has George
failed to deliver on, Mrs Dana?
I mean, you have the house,
the three lovely children.
If you so choose,
you can still have a life together.
He has another entire family.
So, to understand,
if you had remained ignorant
of the existence
of the other wife and children,
you would still be deliriously happy?
He's deceived me.
Isn't it entirely possible
that when he was with you,
he was being completely sincere,
and when he was with the other
Mrs Dana, he was also sincere?
You can only be sincere with one person.
Oh. That's a Catholic thing, isn't it?
Your Honour!
I withdraw it. No further questions,
thank you, Your Honour.
With Your Honour's indulgence...
You want more?
..I have written down on these cards,
questions lifted directly
from Scott Nowell's
Guide To Being A Great Dad.
Ah, Mr Dana, what is
your second child's favourite toy?
From my first marriage?
Let's start there.
Micaela.
A little donkey she calls Mr Jasper.
And from second?
Roman.
His favourite toy
is Peter Patch the elephant.
Right.
Tell me about the favourite sport
of your youngest son,
from your first marriage.
Eric.
Eric is soccer mad.
Every Saturday,
I have to take him to the game,
then I go to the Blue Mountains
to take my eldest daughter
to her basketball,
then I have to hurry back to Surry Hills
to take my little one
to her evening ballet class.
Your Honour!
He's a model father
in all but one minor respect.
He loves his children.
He loves his wives.
He was doing it all
for his own gratification.
How can circumnavigating the
bloody continent three times a week
and supporting six children,
two houses and two wives
be at your own gratification?
He was just trying
to escape the inevitable boredom
that comes with a long-term marriage.
We certainly know about that.
You've just summarised
the position of the law, Meg.
Due to some
hairshirt Calvinist tradition
or premature bottle feeding,
you believe that all people should
suffer through marriage until death.
No reprieves,
just jail for anyone who gives in
to the inevitable boredom.
There is a small get-out-of-jail
clause called divorce. Thank God.
He didn't want to divorce them.
He loves them.
Let's adjourn for the day.
I might have more energy for this
tomorrow.
I doubt it.
There is someone else.
Keep your shirt on, Barn!
She admitted it.
Shit. OK.
Did she say who?
No.
Good. I mean, good that you've
opened up a line of communication.
She said she loves someone else
and she needs to find herself.
Why in times of crisis
do women speak fluent cliche?
Are you OK?
I locked myself in the study.
Put on some Diamond.
Tried to take stock of my life.
Are you sure she's not leaving you
because of your musical taste?
You don't even know
how to get depressed properly.
Can we go out for a drink?
Please.
There's a hint of passionfruit in this.
Bit too sweet.
Oh fuck, mate.
It's not a bloody wine tasting.
We're supposed to be getting shit-faced
and weeping
about the futility of existence.
I'm the only one holding my end up.
I'm used to being positive.
Well, try not to be, OK?
You've brought me
to this bloody lawyers' bar.
Full of men
with irritable bowel syndrome.
Let's go somewhere where I feel a
bit more like a gynaecologist, yeah?
Scarlet hates the routine.
She hates
how ordinary our life has become.
I love our little walks around Bronte.
You know, lunches at the pub.
Why does everyone want a big life?
Oh, no!
I told you it was a lawyers' bar.
She even admitted he was hopeless.
An indulgent, tragic,
middle-aged failure.
Right, well, there you go.
I suppose it could just be the sex.
She said
he wasn't even all that good in bed.
I just don't get it.
Ah, Cleaver.
Ah! Barney, you remember Melissa.
Yeah. Barney. Hi, Cleaver.
Hello, Melissa. Don't you just love
this place, eh? Our kind of crowd.
We have a booking. Table for six.
Potter.
Is Scarlet here?
If you two'd like to join us -
She's having an affair.
Right. I'm sorry.
Don't think I meant
to say that out loud.
Hope it all works out.
How are you, Cleaver?
I'm tickety-boo.
Good to see you, mate.
I'll call you. Thanks, mate.
Can we get a double vodka martini
and a passionfruit whip
for my father here?
Can we put it on their table,
please? We're with them.
So here I was, six,
on one train going to Orvieto
holding the wrong man's hand
and my parents were on a train for
Florence with the wrong daughter!
Good Lord, it's Clark Kent!
No, it's Superman.
G'day, Norton. How is my wounded hero?
It's just a kryptonite flesh wound.
I believe you know everyone here,
except for Melissa, my, well,
the love of my life.
Hello, Melissa. David
has certainly kept you a secret.
So how's that ATX thing going?
Oh, it's a bloody goldmine.
I swear, there's
another house and pool in it.
Run for another 18 months, at least.
Excuse me.
What are you drinking, sweetheart?
Fuck off, Norton.
Please, someone's going to come in.
You know I'm heartbroken.
You left the club without a boo
and I had to find another girlie
to tag team.
I'm out of it. For good. Mm-hm.
Please, I beg you.
Don't say a word to David.
So the whole time you were dining
out on the Supreme Justice here,
you were thinking of studying law?
Well, I had to do something
to keep me awake.
No, no, no, no.
Let's grab a cubicle.
Come on, I'll give you ten bucks.
You give me some oral.
Mate's rates,
because I am a mate of David's
and we don't want to stuff his evening.
If you're here for marriage advice,
don't do it.
It's an invention
by 12th Century legislators
to deal with progeniture.
I'm in trouble.
It's a long queue.
I don't have anyone else.
What happened to Harry,
sorry, Hero Potter?
I can't tell him. He can't know.
Oh, I'm sorry. How does this work?
You piss me off, tell me you don't
want me in your life anymore -
I had this school friend
and she met Robert at a party
when she was 23
and they talked together all night.
And then as the sun came up,
he proposed to her on the spot
and she said yes.
I've been there. Spiked punch.
And now they have three kids,
and they're always laughing,
and, oh fuck it, Cleave,
they just love each other.
I mean, is it so wrong for me
to just want that?
And that's what you have with David,
sorry, Harry?
Will you please help me?
Sonia Dana, despite all that's happened,
do you continue to love your husband?
Yes, I do. Very much.
Would you say he's been
a good father to your children?
He's a fine father.
They love him, he loves them.
And he's always provided adequately?
He's a generous man, always.
We're very comfortable.
So when it comes time for
the judge to hand down his sentence,
what would you like that outcome to be?
Seven years in prison.
So, even though - I beg your pardon?
Yes. I thought long and hard
about what you said
and you were right.
I was blaming myself
for not fulfilling his desires. So -
That'll be all. Thank you, Your Honour.
Your Honour, Mrs Dana the first
is a defence witness.
Surely my learned friend would like
to hear her complete testimony.
Yes, proceed, Mrs Dana.
We can only give what we have.
And I gave that.
And you abused it.
You're too greedy, George.
You expect too much.
Thank you.
Ms Makepeace?
No questions, Your Honour.
Mr Greene has done superbly.
George Dana is in most respects
a model husband, only twice.
The reality is, if Mr Dana
had married his first wife
and just decided to have a squalid,
shabby affair with Monique,
he would not be before us today.
Indeed, he could have still had kids
with his second great love,
he could have bought a house with her,
the law would take no umbrage.
But because Mr Dana chose
to do the honourable thing,
the thing that both women wanted,
which was to marry them,
Ms Makepeace now wants
to incarcerate him.
We have shown Mr Dana to be a generous -
Ah, Your Honour? Sorry to interrupt
the sermon on the mount.
Some information has just come to hand
that has great relevance to this matter.
Three wives!
Didn't you think when you were
charged, this fact might emerge?
I was hoping it wouldn't.
I don't know
if there's a law for trigamy!
Bugger me, I had the judge right here.
Right here! Who is she?
I met her in Newcastle.
Oh, the new restaurant, yeah?
Her name is Juno.
She is like a juniper berry.
She's got a sharp flavour
but with sweetness also -
I don't care if she carries
a seed pod on her back.
Stop marrying people!
I love these women.
Yeah, well now you're going to have
to learn to love men in showers.
I have no idea how to save you.
How did security ever let you in?
I need a minute of your time, mate.
You can't afford it, sunshine.
If you want to make an appointment,
speak to my girl.
I don't do appointments.
Alright, Cleaver, what's this about?
Our mutual friend, Melissa.
Who? Oh, the slut.
You don't know her,
you've never met her,
you know nothing about her past, OK?
Let her get on with her life.
She's earned that.
It's no skin off your nose.
Don't tell me you have feelings
for the slut, too?
My God! First David, now you.
I promise you,
I will drag you down to my level.
And not even I want to live there.
Cleaver, I eat miserable,
sad failures like you
on an hourly basis.
I will do with Miss Missy
whatever I fucking well feel like!
Are we clear on that front?
These damn lift doors.
I've been warning them about this.
I'm unchaining you.
You can have your precious freedom.
Barney, we should -
No, no, go.
Soar like an eagle.
I still have feelings for you.
I doubt you ever have.
That's not fair. That is so not fair.
I have always stood by you.
And I've never given you
a bloody reason not to!
OK, you're angry. You're hurting
and you're lashing out. I get that.
But we need to try to protect
what we have here -
I've been going through your artwork.
Allegorical Woman Three.
It's only allegorical, because you
couldn't make it look like a woman.
Barney,
you're just demeaning yourself now.
You'll regret this in the morning.
No, I regret not saying it earlier.
Your art is crap.
You have no discernible talent.
The idea you can give up the law
to paint is laughable.
Oh, hell.
I just put my foot
through Allegorical Woman's breast.
Or was that her foot?
Let's not delude ourselves here.
George Dana has no regard
for his many wives, children
or for the moral laws
that underpin our society.
There are no mitigating circumstances.
Mr Greene passes this crime off as
a piece of trivia, an anachronism,
a statute from the Palaeozoic era.
Why? Because it doesn't suit him.
If we were all allowed
to break laws that we disagree with,
society would be in chaos.
We could not enter into an agreement,
or transaction of any kind,
with any certainty.
Promises made under oath matter.
It is not enough to say
I don't like the law.
Mr Dana has proven himself
to be a liar and a criminal.
Mr Greene?
Oh.
Thank you, Your Honour.
If I wasn't dozing off, I think I
may have heard Ms Makepeace suggest
that marriage is an institution
that underpins our society.
But she's wrong.
One in two marriages now end in grief.
Here.
Five women's magazines,
picked at random.
Brad - The Affair I Had To Have.
Halle - I Want Him Back.
Marriage is now a sport.
It's not an institution.
May I?
The truth is,
George Dana, ladies and gentlemen,
is a man from a bygone era.
He's a man who still holds steadfastly
to the idea of honour and commitment
to those he loves.
He didn't set out
to break up the institution
of marriage or to hurt these women.
He still believes in it.
He may be its last true champion.
His sole purpose
was to make these women happy,
and it still is.
Jail terms for rapists,
murderers, paedophiles.
But not for George Dana,
a man who simply loved too much.
We find the defendant...
..guilty.
I agree with the prosecution
when they argue
that Mr Dana was aware of the law,
and knowingly deceived
three decent women.
Finally, some spine. That said,
I also find merit
in Mr Greene's argument
that the penalties under the law
greatly outweigh
the impact of the crime.
I believe Mr Dana did love his wives,
but he did knowingly break the law.
Worse, he lied to this court
by not declaring a third wife
and thus he proves himself again
a person of unreliable character.
I'm giving Mr Dana
a three-year sentence...
Yes.
..but I'm going to suspend all
but three months of that sentence...
Weak, weak man.
..and he must immediately divorce
at least two of his wives.
Try not to marry anyone
while you're inside, will ya?
My God, you were so pretty.
You look like your Mum. You can tell
she was Spanish, though.
You have changed a bit
around the cheeks and the chin.
It was taken near Cozumel, in Mexico.
Mum and Dad were a bit merry.
We'd all been laughing and swimming
and collecting sea shells together.
Well, they're here now
and welcome in our home.
Hey.
You're still up.
You know they've got this drill bit
that never needs sharpening?
Even after a hundred hours, into metal?
Listen, I don't know what
you did or said, but thank you.
Oh, I just had a friendly chat.
I think, I think Norton felt really bad.
David is a good, good,
warm-hearted man who loves me.
All this, and a tax lawyer.
And I know I can be happy with him.
But I don't know why,
when things turned to shit,
I came to you and not him.
Think I'm gonna buy this drill.
Goodnight.
Closed Captions by CSI