R.L. Stine's The Haunting Hour (2010–2014): Season 1, Episode 12 - Best Friend Forever - full transcript
12-year-old Jack Pierce performs an experiment at home, and finds himself saddled with a new best friend: Cheeky the Zombie.
[CLOCK CHIMES]
[CHILDREN'S VOICES ECHO]
[GEARS TICK]
[VOICES ECHO]
[♪♪♪]
[LOW SNARLING]
[♪♪♪]
JACK, GET IN HERE
AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!
I'M NOT LISTENING TO ANYTHING
UNTIL I SEE YOU START EATING.
IS THAT CLEAR, BUD?
EATING HAS COMMENCED.
TRY CHEWING SOME, TOO.
SIT DOWN, MOM.
JACK, WE'RE IN A HURRY,
AND I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED
PUTTING ON MY FACE.
BUT YOU ALWAYS SAY
"PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING."
OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU "A"
FOR EFFORT,
BUT WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
A MILLION TIMES.
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
HEARD MY HYPOTHESIS.
I'M READY TO BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR A PUPPY
'CAUSE I'VE LEARNED
MANY VALUABLE LESSONS
FROM MY PREVIOUS EXPERIMENTS.
THEY WEREN'T
EXPERIMENTS, JACK,
THEY WERE PETS,
AND THEY'VE ALL DIED!
NOTHING'S MADE IT THROUGH
THE FIRST WEEK WITH YOU.
THAT HAMSTER?
AND THEN THE RABBIT?
AND EVEN THAT LIZARD.
LET'S NOT LOSE SIGHT
OF THE FACTS, MOM.
THE HAMSTER RAN AWAY.
YEAH, BECAUSE YOU LEFT
THE CAGE DOOR OPEN, JACK!
I'M NOT EVEN SURE
THAT I'D TRUST YOU WITH A FISH
AT THIS POINT.
AW, LISTEN, HONEY,
I KNOW HOW BADLY
YOU WANT A DOG,
BUT MAYBE HAVING A PET
ISN'T SOMETHING
THAT YOU'RE READY FOR.
I CAN PROVE I'M READY!
I KNOW I CAN.
OKAY...
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT,
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO
GIVE ME SOME TIME,
AND THAT MEANS NOT ASKING ME
EVERY 20 MINUTES
FOR A DOG.
DEAL?
DEAL.
OKAY, I GOTTA GO.
I'M LATE.
[FOOTSTEPS RETREAT
QUICKLY]
I SAW YOU ON WORLD
OF WARCRAFT LAST NIGHT,
BUT YOU NEVER MADE IT
INTO ICECROWN CITADEL.
GUESS YOU COULDN'T GET
A 25-MAN RAID
TO TAKE YOU THERE.
YOUR LIFE IS SO SAD.
LEAVE ME ALONE, MITCH.
CATEGORICALLY
IMPOSSIBLE.
WE'RE WALKING
TO THE SAME CLASS.
HAVE YOU DONE
YOUR SCIENCE FAIR
PROJECT YET?
THE SCIENCE FAIR
IS SIX MONTHS AWAY.
MY MOM SAYS
THAT EARLY IS ON TIME,
ON TIME IS LATE,
AND LATE IS IDIOTIC.
I HAVE ALREADY COMPLETED
TWO EXPERIMENTS.
I JUST NEED TO DECIDE
WHICH WILL BEAT YOURS
BY A WIDER MARGIN.
OF COURSE,
IF YOU MAKE A LAME PROJECT
LIKE YOU DID LAST YEAR,
I SHOULD HAVE
NO TROUBLE BEATING YOU.
MY PROJECT ROCKED!
WHO ELSE DO YOU KNOW
WHO MADE ACTUAL LIGHTSABERS?
YEAH, AND THEN SET
THE JUDGE'S HAIR ON FIRE.
SMOOTH MOVE,
JAR JAR.
THE SCIENCE FAIR IS THE LEAST OF
MY CONCERNS RIGHT NOW.
GLAD TO SEE
YOU'VE ACCEPTED DEFEAT EARLY.
CLASS, AS YOU ALL KNOW,
TOMORROW'S WORM DISSECTION
HAS BEEN CANCELED
DUE TO NUMEROUS COMPLAINTS
TO THE OFFICE.
WORM-KILLING
IS INHUMANE, MR. FRANKLIN.
YES, I'M WELL AWARE
OF YOUR FEELINGS
ON THE MATTER, SALLY.
NOW, MOVING ON--
THOSE POOR,
INNOCENT CREATURES--
STOP BEING SUCH
A DRAMA QUEEN.
IT'S IN THE NAME
OF SCIENCE.
THEY'RE WORMS.
[GASPS IN SHOCK]
WORMS ARE THE DOGS
OF THE BUG WORLD.
IF MR. FRANKLIN
ASKED YOU
TO DISSECT YOUR DOG
IN THE "NAME OF SCIENCE,"
OR YOUR DOG,
OR YOURS, OR YOURS--
[MOURNFULLY]
I DON'T HAVE A DOG.
YOU'D PROBABLY ALL DO IT,
BUT I COULDN'T DISSECT
MY SWEET, LITTLE PHOEBE,
WHICH IS WHY
I CAN'T HARM A WORM!
[SNIFFLING]
CAN I GO
TO THE BATHROOM, MR. F?
PLEASE.
FOR YOUR HOMEWORK,
I AM GIVING YOU
SOME WIRE
AND TWO METAL RODS.
ATTACH THE WIRE TO THE RODS
ON ONE END,
AND TO THE TERMINALS
OF A SIX-VOLT BATTERY
ON THE OTHER.
FIND SOME HEALTHY SOIL,
STICK THE RODS IN THE GROUND.
YOU WILL BE SHOCKED
BY WHAT HAPPENS.
BRING A FEW TO CLASS,
AND WE WILL SEE WHAT
ELSE WE CAN LEARN
FROM THE WONDERFUL
WORLD OF WORMS.
FETCH IT!
COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT.
I'M SO
PROUD OF YOU.
YOU KEPT THEM ALIVE
FOR A WEEK.
[GIGGLING]
JACK?
CLASS IS OVER, JACK.
I'M GONNA GO UNEARTH
A MOTHER LODE OF WORMS,
MR. FRANKLIN.
[♪♪♪]
[TRUCK ENGINE STARTS]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
[MUD SQUELCHING]
WELCOME TO THE SURFACE, GUYS!
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT UP HERE,
I PROMISE.
I'VE GOT BIG PLANS FOR YOU.
OH, MAN, NOT ALREADY.
DON'T BE DEAD, DON'T BE DEAD,
DON'T BE DEAD...
SORRY ABOUT THAT, GUYS.
RULE NUMBER ONE,
AEROBIC RESPIRATION.
HAVE SOME O2.
TWO HOLES ENOUGH FOR YOU GUYS?
I THINK SO.
[SNARLING]
[NEARBY GROWLING]
LET'S GET YOU GUYS HOME.
YOU LOOK LIKE
THE LEADER OF THE GROUP.
I'M GONNA CALL YOU "SLICK."
[SNIFFS]
UGH...
FROM HERE ON,
YOU'RE GONNA BE CALLED "FUNKY."
[DRILL WHINES]
I'M ALMOST DONE.
YOU GUYS NEED SOME WATER,
AND THEN THIS'LL BE
HOME MOIST HOME!
[GROWLING]
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
DON'T WORRY, I'M ON IT.
STAY HERE.
[FROGS CROAKING]
STUPID RACCOONS.
MOM'S GONNA BE MAD.
[GROWLING]
[SLATHERING AND SNARLING]
[SCREAMS]
[ROARS]
[BRANCH TEARS]
OOF!
[SNARLING]
[GROWLING]
[BREATHING HARD]
[STUMBLES]
HUH?
[SIGHS IN RELIEF]
[GASPS]
[GROWLING]
[SCREAMS]
[GROWLING]
SOMEBODY, PLEASE!
DON'T EAT ME!
I'VE GOT
A LOT OF LIFE TO LIVE!
69.2 YEARS,
STATISTICALLY SPEAKING.
[ROARING]
[PANTING IN PANIC]
HRR...
[GROANING]
YOU FOUND MY GLASSES?
THANK YOU,
I THINK.
[GRUMBLES]
GOOD ZOMBIE.
GOOD BOY.
I'M JACK.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
[GROANS WARBLINGLY]
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET YOU
A BETTER NAME THAN THAT.
RIGHT, PAL?
[GRUMBLES]
HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
THIS'LL HAVE TO DO FOR NOW.
[GRUMBLES]: EEEEE.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
CLEAN YOU UP
BEFORE YOU CAN
COME IN THE HOUSE.
MOM SAYS
NO DIRTY PETS INSIDE,
AND DON'T TAKE THIS
THE WRONG WAY, BUT YOU SMELL.
LIKE, REEK-O-RAMA.
[GROANS]
YOU NEED A NAME.
[GROWLING]
HOW ABOUT... "CHEEKY?"
YOU'D LIKE THAT?
EEEEEE...
CLOSE, BUT NOT QUITE.
CHEEKY.
EEEEEE...
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, CHEEKY.
YOU'LL GET IT.
[HAMMERING WORM ENCLOSURE]
DO YOU LIKE IT, CHEEKY?
EEEEEE....
I'LL TAKE THAT
AS AN AFFIRMATIVE.
[SLATHERING AND SNARLING]
OH!
YOU'RE SAYING "EAT," AREN'T YOU?
YOU'RE HUNGRY.
EEEEEE...
I'LL GO GET SOME FOOD.
STAY HERE.
[GASPS IN SHOCK]
CHEEKY!
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE!
BAD ZOMBIE!
[SLATHERING AND SNARLING]
SLOW DOWN, CHEEKY.
YOU DON'T WANT TO
CHOKE, DO YOU?
[SLATHERING]
BUT IF YOU DO CHOKE,
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN BE
MORE DEAD THAN YOU ALREADY ARE,
WHICH MEANS...
YOU CAN'T DIE
LIKE MY OTHER PETS!
YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER
THAN A DOG!
[FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
[SNIFFING]
SHE'S NOT GONNA LET ME KEEP YOU
IF SHE SEES YOU LIKE THIS!
QUICK, OUT.
COME ON, GET OUT!
WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU DO
TO THIS KITCHEN, JACK?
WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SMELL?
JACK, GET YOUR BUTT
IN HERE PRONTO!
OH, HEY, MOM.
I WAS, UH-- JUST, YOU KNOW--
I CAN'T EVEN
LOOK AT YOU RIGHT NOW,
THAT'S HOW UPSET I AM.
MAKING A MESS
LIKE THIS
IS NOT CALLED
BEING RESPONSIBLE, JACK.
[CHEEKY GROWLS]
DON'T YOU GROWL AT ME.
I'M SORRY, MOM,
I WAS ABOUT TO CLEAN IT UP.
YEAH, WELL,
LESS TALKING,
MORE DOING.
THIS CHEESE,
IT EXPIRED
THREE WEEKS AGO.
RANCH DRESSING,
IT EXPIRED...
LAST MAY!
THIS LETTUCE IS BAD.
AND THESE LEMONS
ARE MOLDY!
[GASPS]
GOD, THIS COTTAGE CHEESE
IS A PETRIE DISH.
[THUD]
THIS FRIDGE
IS A TICKING
TIME BOMB, JACK!
JACK!
I TOLD YOU TO KEEP
THE FREEZER DOOR CLOSED!
YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?
THIS IS MY MESS,
LET ME CLEAN IT UP.
YOU'VE HAD A HARD
DAY AT WORK.
COME ON.
YEAH,
AND I'M TIRED...
[GRUMBLING]
[BONES CRUNCH]
COME ON, YOU ZOMBIE.
[ZOMBIE GRUMBLING]
BAD ZOMBIE!
YOU HAVE TO STAY OUT HERE.
I'M YOUR MASTER NOW,
SO LISTEN
TO WHAT I SAY.
YOU HAVE TO BE
A GOOD ZOMBIE,
AND EATING MY MOM IS DEFINITELY
BAD ZOMBIE TERRITORY,
SO NO MORE OF THAT.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
[GROWLING]
[GROANS]
[SNIFFS]
[GROWLING]
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
IN THE HOUSE, REMEMBER?
BAD ZOMBIE, BAD!
FOR ME?
IS THIS SUPPOSED
TO SAY JACK?
JAAAAAA...
GOOD BOY, CHEEKY.
GOOD BOY.
JACK, YOU'RE GONNA
BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!
[GROWLING]
[KNOCKS BRISKLY]
YOU'RE STILL IN BED?
UH-HUH.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
DID SOMETHING DIE IN HERE?
UH-UH. NO.
I DON'T
WANT TO KNOW.
GET DRESSED.
[SNARLING]
OH, NO.
I TOLD YOU
NOT TO EAT MOM.
[GROWLING]
THIS NECKLACE
WITH MATCHING EARRINGS
ARE ONLY AVAILABLE
IN LIMITED NUMBERS,
SO ACT FAST.
THESE ARE NOT
GOING TO LAST LONG.
BEAUTIFUL...
OKAY...
MR. F.?
YES.
CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM?
SALLY, THIS IS BECOMING
AN EVERYDAY THING WITH YOU.
GOING TO THE BATHROOM
IS A NORMAL EVERYDAY THING.
YOU'RE A SCIENCE TEACHER.
YOU SHOULD
KNOW THAT.
FINE.
HURRY BACK.
WE'RE DISCUSSING
INSECT DIGESTION TODAY.
WHATEVER.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, MITCH?
ARE YOU WORRIED THAT
I MIGHT HAVE COME UP WITH
A BETTER SCIENCE FAIR
PROJECT THAN YOU?
I TOSSED AND TURNED ALL NIGHT.
WELL, IF YOUR
SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT
IS BETTER THAN BRINGING
A DEAD GUY BACK TO LIFE...
THAT'S RIGHT.
I SAID "DEAD GUY."
I HAVE A PET ZOMBIE,
AND HE'S AWESOME.
YOU'RE LYING.
THERE'S NO WAY.
COME BY MY PLACE
AFTER SCHOOL.
I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
JACK,
MITCH,
PAY ATTENTION TO THE LECTURE.
ALL RIGHT, TODAY,
WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS
THE UNIQUE BEAUTY
OF THE EARTHWORM
AND WHY THESE THINGS
ARE THE BEATING HEART
OF THIS PLANET...
[PANTING IN FEAR]
NO, NO, NO...
...DNA REPLICATION
AND RECOMBINATION...
...TODAY,
WE'RE GOING TO DO
A LITTLE BIT
OF DISSECTION...
[GROWLING]
[SCREAMS]
NO, NO, NO, NO.
PLEASE, EVERYBODY
CALM DOWN.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S MY ZOMBIE.
HE'S NOT COMPLETELY
TRAINED YET.
ALL RIGHT, WE ALL KNOW
SALLY'S TRACK RECORD
FOR OVER-REACTING.
SHE PROBABLY JUST SAW A SPIDER.
OR A DEAD GUY?
PLEASE, BACK TO
YOUR SEATS.
MEET ME IN THE HAZELNUT GROVE
BEHIND MY HOUSE.
OKAY, MITCH...
THAT INCLUDES YOU.
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
NOW...
[SNARLING AND ROARING,
SALLY SCREAMS]
NO, CHEEKY!
HELP! PLEASE!
KILL THAT THING!
I CAN'T KILL HIM,
HE'S ALREADY DEAD.
THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!
YOU'RE RIGHT,
NONE OF THIS IS POSSIBLE,
WHICH MEANS
NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU
IF YOU TRY TO TELL THEM.
COME ON, CHEEKY.
[SNARLING]
COME ON, CHEEKY!
HEEL, CHEEKY HEEL!
[GROWLING]
I WANT MITCH TO ADMIT
THAT I'M INTELLECTUALLY
SUPERIOR TO HIM.
YOU'RE NOT JUST MY PET,
YOU'RE MY CREATION.
PEHHHHH.
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
STOP!
WE'RE NOT PLAYING
RIGHT NOW.
CHEEKY!
[GROWLING]
WHERE ARE YOU?
CHEEKY!
HERE, CHEEKY!
HERE, BOY!
WATCH IT!
YOU MENTAL DEFECT.
HEY, I HAVE
AN "A" AVERAGE.
I HAVE AN "A-PLUS" AVERAGE.
WHERE'S YOUR WALKING CORPSE?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE WAS HERE A SECOND AGO.
YEAH, WHICH IS CODE FOR
"HE DOESN'T EXIST."
NOT TRUE.
YOU'RE LIKE THE DAVID BLAINE
OF MATHLETES--
ALL FLASH, AND NO FLASHCARDS.
A HYPOTHESIS
THAT WILL NEVER BE PROVEN.
YOU PUT THE "SUB"
IN "LACK OF
INTELLECTUAL SUBSTANCE."
[SCREAMS]
[CHEEKY SLATHERING
AND SNARLING]
I KNOW HOW TO SEE
IF YOUR BRAIN
IS AS SPECTACULAR
AS YOU SAY IT IS.
CHEEKY!
HE'S KIND OF
A CONNOISSEUR OF BRAINS,
BEING A ZOMBIE AND ALL.
PLEASE HAVE MERCY.
DON'T EAT MY BRAIN!
IT'S MY MOST PRIZED POSSESSION!
ADMIT THAT I'M SMARTER
THAN YOU.
BUT YOU'RE NOT!
ADMIT THAT
I'M SMARTER THAN YOU,
OR WE'RE HAVING
BRAIN TARTARE
FOR DINNER.
[CHEEKY SNARLS]
OKAY, I SWEAR!
YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ME!
YOU'RE THE SMARTEST KID
AT SCHOOL!
AND YOU CAN'T
TELL ANYONE
ABOUT MY ZOMBIE,
NOT BEFORE
THE SCIENCE FAIR.
OKAY, I WON'T TELL, I PROMISE!
LET HIM GO.
[CHEEKY GRUMBLES]
[MITCH RUNS AWAY,
PANTING IN FEAR]
OKAY, CHEEKY LET'S GO HOME.
[GROWLING]
[ROARS]
[THUD]
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[CROWS CAW]
[GROANING]
[CHAINS RATTLE]
CHEEKY?
WHERE ARE WE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LET ME GO.
[GRUMBLING] PEHHHHHH....
[SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]
[CHILDREN'S VOICES ECHO]
[GEARS TICK]
[VOICES ECHO]
[♪♪♪]
[LOW SNARLING]
[♪♪♪]
JACK, GET IN HERE
AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!
I'M NOT LISTENING TO ANYTHING
UNTIL I SEE YOU START EATING.
IS THAT CLEAR, BUD?
EATING HAS COMMENCED.
TRY CHEWING SOME, TOO.
SIT DOWN, MOM.
JACK, WE'RE IN A HURRY,
AND I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED
PUTTING ON MY FACE.
BUT YOU ALWAYS SAY
"PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING."
OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU "A"
FOR EFFORT,
BUT WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
A MILLION TIMES.
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
HEARD MY HYPOTHESIS.
I'M READY TO BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR A PUPPY
'CAUSE I'VE LEARNED
MANY VALUABLE LESSONS
FROM MY PREVIOUS EXPERIMENTS.
THEY WEREN'T
EXPERIMENTS, JACK,
THEY WERE PETS,
AND THEY'VE ALL DIED!
NOTHING'S MADE IT THROUGH
THE FIRST WEEK WITH YOU.
THAT HAMSTER?
AND THEN THE RABBIT?
AND EVEN THAT LIZARD.
LET'S NOT LOSE SIGHT
OF THE FACTS, MOM.
THE HAMSTER RAN AWAY.
YEAH, BECAUSE YOU LEFT
THE CAGE DOOR OPEN, JACK!
I'M NOT EVEN SURE
THAT I'D TRUST YOU WITH A FISH
AT THIS POINT.
AW, LISTEN, HONEY,
I KNOW HOW BADLY
YOU WANT A DOG,
BUT MAYBE HAVING A PET
ISN'T SOMETHING
THAT YOU'RE READY FOR.
I CAN PROVE I'M READY!
I KNOW I CAN.
OKAY...
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT,
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO
GIVE ME SOME TIME,
AND THAT MEANS NOT ASKING ME
EVERY 20 MINUTES
FOR A DOG.
DEAL?
DEAL.
OKAY, I GOTTA GO.
I'M LATE.
[FOOTSTEPS RETREAT
QUICKLY]
I SAW YOU ON WORLD
OF WARCRAFT LAST NIGHT,
BUT YOU NEVER MADE IT
INTO ICECROWN CITADEL.
GUESS YOU COULDN'T GET
A 25-MAN RAID
TO TAKE YOU THERE.
YOUR LIFE IS SO SAD.
LEAVE ME ALONE, MITCH.
CATEGORICALLY
IMPOSSIBLE.
WE'RE WALKING
TO THE SAME CLASS.
HAVE YOU DONE
YOUR SCIENCE FAIR
PROJECT YET?
THE SCIENCE FAIR
IS SIX MONTHS AWAY.
MY MOM SAYS
THAT EARLY IS ON TIME,
ON TIME IS LATE,
AND LATE IS IDIOTIC.
I HAVE ALREADY COMPLETED
TWO EXPERIMENTS.
I JUST NEED TO DECIDE
WHICH WILL BEAT YOURS
BY A WIDER MARGIN.
OF COURSE,
IF YOU MAKE A LAME PROJECT
LIKE YOU DID LAST YEAR,
I SHOULD HAVE
NO TROUBLE BEATING YOU.
MY PROJECT ROCKED!
WHO ELSE DO YOU KNOW
WHO MADE ACTUAL LIGHTSABERS?
YEAH, AND THEN SET
THE JUDGE'S HAIR ON FIRE.
SMOOTH MOVE,
JAR JAR.
THE SCIENCE FAIR IS THE LEAST OF
MY CONCERNS RIGHT NOW.
GLAD TO SEE
YOU'VE ACCEPTED DEFEAT EARLY.
CLASS, AS YOU ALL KNOW,
TOMORROW'S WORM DISSECTION
HAS BEEN CANCELED
DUE TO NUMEROUS COMPLAINTS
TO THE OFFICE.
WORM-KILLING
IS INHUMANE, MR. FRANKLIN.
YES, I'M WELL AWARE
OF YOUR FEELINGS
ON THE MATTER, SALLY.
NOW, MOVING ON--
THOSE POOR,
INNOCENT CREATURES--
STOP BEING SUCH
A DRAMA QUEEN.
IT'S IN THE NAME
OF SCIENCE.
THEY'RE WORMS.
[GASPS IN SHOCK]
WORMS ARE THE DOGS
OF THE BUG WORLD.
IF MR. FRANKLIN
ASKED YOU
TO DISSECT YOUR DOG
IN THE "NAME OF SCIENCE,"
OR YOUR DOG,
OR YOURS, OR YOURS--
[MOURNFULLY]
I DON'T HAVE A DOG.
YOU'D PROBABLY ALL DO IT,
BUT I COULDN'T DISSECT
MY SWEET, LITTLE PHOEBE,
WHICH IS WHY
I CAN'T HARM A WORM!
[SNIFFLING]
CAN I GO
TO THE BATHROOM, MR. F?
PLEASE.
FOR YOUR HOMEWORK,
I AM GIVING YOU
SOME WIRE
AND TWO METAL RODS.
ATTACH THE WIRE TO THE RODS
ON ONE END,
AND TO THE TERMINALS
OF A SIX-VOLT BATTERY
ON THE OTHER.
FIND SOME HEALTHY SOIL,
STICK THE RODS IN THE GROUND.
YOU WILL BE SHOCKED
BY WHAT HAPPENS.
BRING A FEW TO CLASS,
AND WE WILL SEE WHAT
ELSE WE CAN LEARN
FROM THE WONDERFUL
WORLD OF WORMS.
FETCH IT!
COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT.
I'M SO
PROUD OF YOU.
YOU KEPT THEM ALIVE
FOR A WEEK.
[GIGGLING]
JACK?
CLASS IS OVER, JACK.
I'M GONNA GO UNEARTH
A MOTHER LODE OF WORMS,
MR. FRANKLIN.
[♪♪♪]
[TRUCK ENGINE STARTS]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
[MUD SQUELCHING]
WELCOME TO THE SURFACE, GUYS!
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT UP HERE,
I PROMISE.
I'VE GOT BIG PLANS FOR YOU.
OH, MAN, NOT ALREADY.
DON'T BE DEAD, DON'T BE DEAD,
DON'T BE DEAD...
SORRY ABOUT THAT, GUYS.
RULE NUMBER ONE,
AEROBIC RESPIRATION.
HAVE SOME O2.
TWO HOLES ENOUGH FOR YOU GUYS?
I THINK SO.
[SNARLING]
[NEARBY GROWLING]
LET'S GET YOU GUYS HOME.
YOU LOOK LIKE
THE LEADER OF THE GROUP.
I'M GONNA CALL YOU "SLICK."
[SNIFFS]
UGH...
FROM HERE ON,
YOU'RE GONNA BE CALLED "FUNKY."
[DRILL WHINES]
I'M ALMOST DONE.
YOU GUYS NEED SOME WATER,
AND THEN THIS'LL BE
HOME MOIST HOME!
[GROWLING]
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
DON'T WORRY, I'M ON IT.
STAY HERE.
[FROGS CROAKING]
STUPID RACCOONS.
MOM'S GONNA BE MAD.
[GROWLING]
[SLATHERING AND SNARLING]
[SCREAMS]
[ROARS]
[BRANCH TEARS]
OOF!
[SNARLING]
[GROWLING]
[BREATHING HARD]
[STUMBLES]
HUH?
[SIGHS IN RELIEF]
[GASPS]
[GROWLING]
[SCREAMS]
[GROWLING]
SOMEBODY, PLEASE!
DON'T EAT ME!
I'VE GOT
A LOT OF LIFE TO LIVE!
69.2 YEARS,
STATISTICALLY SPEAKING.
[ROARING]
[PANTING IN PANIC]
HRR...
[GROANING]
YOU FOUND MY GLASSES?
THANK YOU,
I THINK.
[GRUMBLES]
GOOD ZOMBIE.
GOOD BOY.
I'M JACK.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
[GROANS WARBLINGLY]
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET YOU
A BETTER NAME THAN THAT.
RIGHT, PAL?
[GRUMBLES]
HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
THIS'LL HAVE TO DO FOR NOW.
[GRUMBLES]: EEEEE.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
CLEAN YOU UP
BEFORE YOU CAN
COME IN THE HOUSE.
MOM SAYS
NO DIRTY PETS INSIDE,
AND DON'T TAKE THIS
THE WRONG WAY, BUT YOU SMELL.
LIKE, REEK-O-RAMA.
[GROANS]
YOU NEED A NAME.
[GROWLING]
HOW ABOUT... "CHEEKY?"
YOU'D LIKE THAT?
EEEEEE...
CLOSE, BUT NOT QUITE.
CHEEKY.
EEEEEE...
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, CHEEKY.
YOU'LL GET IT.
[HAMMERING WORM ENCLOSURE]
DO YOU LIKE IT, CHEEKY?
EEEEEE....
I'LL TAKE THAT
AS AN AFFIRMATIVE.
[SLATHERING AND SNARLING]
OH!
YOU'RE SAYING "EAT," AREN'T YOU?
YOU'RE HUNGRY.
EEEEEE...
I'LL GO GET SOME FOOD.
STAY HERE.
[GASPS IN SHOCK]
CHEEKY!
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE!
BAD ZOMBIE!
[SLATHERING AND SNARLING]
SLOW DOWN, CHEEKY.
YOU DON'T WANT TO
CHOKE, DO YOU?
[SLATHERING]
BUT IF YOU DO CHOKE,
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN BE
MORE DEAD THAN YOU ALREADY ARE,
WHICH MEANS...
YOU CAN'T DIE
LIKE MY OTHER PETS!
YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER
THAN A DOG!
[FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
[SNIFFING]
SHE'S NOT GONNA LET ME KEEP YOU
IF SHE SEES YOU LIKE THIS!
QUICK, OUT.
COME ON, GET OUT!
WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU DO
TO THIS KITCHEN, JACK?
WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SMELL?
JACK, GET YOUR BUTT
IN HERE PRONTO!
OH, HEY, MOM.
I WAS, UH-- JUST, YOU KNOW--
I CAN'T EVEN
LOOK AT YOU RIGHT NOW,
THAT'S HOW UPSET I AM.
MAKING A MESS
LIKE THIS
IS NOT CALLED
BEING RESPONSIBLE, JACK.
[CHEEKY GROWLS]
DON'T YOU GROWL AT ME.
I'M SORRY, MOM,
I WAS ABOUT TO CLEAN IT UP.
YEAH, WELL,
LESS TALKING,
MORE DOING.
THIS CHEESE,
IT EXPIRED
THREE WEEKS AGO.
RANCH DRESSING,
IT EXPIRED...
LAST MAY!
THIS LETTUCE IS BAD.
AND THESE LEMONS
ARE MOLDY!
[GASPS]
GOD, THIS COTTAGE CHEESE
IS A PETRIE DISH.
[THUD]
THIS FRIDGE
IS A TICKING
TIME BOMB, JACK!
JACK!
I TOLD YOU TO KEEP
THE FREEZER DOOR CLOSED!
YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?
THIS IS MY MESS,
LET ME CLEAN IT UP.
YOU'VE HAD A HARD
DAY AT WORK.
COME ON.
YEAH,
AND I'M TIRED...
[GRUMBLING]
[BONES CRUNCH]
COME ON, YOU ZOMBIE.
[ZOMBIE GRUMBLING]
BAD ZOMBIE!
YOU HAVE TO STAY OUT HERE.
I'M YOUR MASTER NOW,
SO LISTEN
TO WHAT I SAY.
YOU HAVE TO BE
A GOOD ZOMBIE,
AND EATING MY MOM IS DEFINITELY
BAD ZOMBIE TERRITORY,
SO NO MORE OF THAT.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
[GROWLING]
[GROANS]
[SNIFFS]
[GROWLING]
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
IN THE HOUSE, REMEMBER?
BAD ZOMBIE, BAD!
FOR ME?
IS THIS SUPPOSED
TO SAY JACK?
JAAAAAA...
GOOD BOY, CHEEKY.
GOOD BOY.
JACK, YOU'RE GONNA
BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!
[GROWLING]
[KNOCKS BRISKLY]
YOU'RE STILL IN BED?
UH-HUH.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
DID SOMETHING DIE IN HERE?
UH-UH. NO.
I DON'T
WANT TO KNOW.
GET DRESSED.
[SNARLING]
OH, NO.
I TOLD YOU
NOT TO EAT MOM.
[GROWLING]
THIS NECKLACE
WITH MATCHING EARRINGS
ARE ONLY AVAILABLE
IN LIMITED NUMBERS,
SO ACT FAST.
THESE ARE NOT
GOING TO LAST LONG.
BEAUTIFUL...
OKAY...
MR. F.?
YES.
CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM?
SALLY, THIS IS BECOMING
AN EVERYDAY THING WITH YOU.
GOING TO THE BATHROOM
IS A NORMAL EVERYDAY THING.
YOU'RE A SCIENCE TEACHER.
YOU SHOULD
KNOW THAT.
FINE.
HURRY BACK.
WE'RE DISCUSSING
INSECT DIGESTION TODAY.
WHATEVER.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, MITCH?
ARE YOU WORRIED THAT
I MIGHT HAVE COME UP WITH
A BETTER SCIENCE FAIR
PROJECT THAN YOU?
I TOSSED AND TURNED ALL NIGHT.
WELL, IF YOUR
SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT
IS BETTER THAN BRINGING
A DEAD GUY BACK TO LIFE...
THAT'S RIGHT.
I SAID "DEAD GUY."
I HAVE A PET ZOMBIE,
AND HE'S AWESOME.
YOU'RE LYING.
THERE'S NO WAY.
COME BY MY PLACE
AFTER SCHOOL.
I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
JACK,
MITCH,
PAY ATTENTION TO THE LECTURE.
ALL RIGHT, TODAY,
WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS
THE UNIQUE BEAUTY
OF THE EARTHWORM
AND WHY THESE THINGS
ARE THE BEATING HEART
OF THIS PLANET...
[PANTING IN FEAR]
NO, NO, NO...
...DNA REPLICATION
AND RECOMBINATION...
...TODAY,
WE'RE GOING TO DO
A LITTLE BIT
OF DISSECTION...
[GROWLING]
[SCREAMS]
NO, NO, NO, NO.
PLEASE, EVERYBODY
CALM DOWN.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S MY ZOMBIE.
HE'S NOT COMPLETELY
TRAINED YET.
ALL RIGHT, WE ALL KNOW
SALLY'S TRACK RECORD
FOR OVER-REACTING.
SHE PROBABLY JUST SAW A SPIDER.
OR A DEAD GUY?
PLEASE, BACK TO
YOUR SEATS.
MEET ME IN THE HAZELNUT GROVE
BEHIND MY HOUSE.
OKAY, MITCH...
THAT INCLUDES YOU.
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
NOW...
[SNARLING AND ROARING,
SALLY SCREAMS]
NO, CHEEKY!
HELP! PLEASE!
KILL THAT THING!
I CAN'T KILL HIM,
HE'S ALREADY DEAD.
THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!
YOU'RE RIGHT,
NONE OF THIS IS POSSIBLE,
WHICH MEANS
NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU
IF YOU TRY TO TELL THEM.
COME ON, CHEEKY.
[SNARLING]
COME ON, CHEEKY!
HEEL, CHEEKY HEEL!
[GROWLING]
I WANT MITCH TO ADMIT
THAT I'M INTELLECTUALLY
SUPERIOR TO HIM.
YOU'RE NOT JUST MY PET,
YOU'RE MY CREATION.
PEHHHHH.
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
STOP!
WE'RE NOT PLAYING
RIGHT NOW.
CHEEKY!
[GROWLING]
WHERE ARE YOU?
CHEEKY!
HERE, CHEEKY!
HERE, BOY!
WATCH IT!
YOU MENTAL DEFECT.
HEY, I HAVE
AN "A" AVERAGE.
I HAVE AN "A-PLUS" AVERAGE.
WHERE'S YOUR WALKING CORPSE?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE WAS HERE A SECOND AGO.
YEAH, WHICH IS CODE FOR
"HE DOESN'T EXIST."
NOT TRUE.
YOU'RE LIKE THE DAVID BLAINE
OF MATHLETES--
ALL FLASH, AND NO FLASHCARDS.
A HYPOTHESIS
THAT WILL NEVER BE PROVEN.
YOU PUT THE "SUB"
IN "LACK OF
INTELLECTUAL SUBSTANCE."
[SCREAMS]
[CHEEKY SLATHERING
AND SNARLING]
I KNOW HOW TO SEE
IF YOUR BRAIN
IS AS SPECTACULAR
AS YOU SAY IT IS.
CHEEKY!
HE'S KIND OF
A CONNOISSEUR OF BRAINS,
BEING A ZOMBIE AND ALL.
PLEASE HAVE MERCY.
DON'T EAT MY BRAIN!
IT'S MY MOST PRIZED POSSESSION!
ADMIT THAT I'M SMARTER
THAN YOU.
BUT YOU'RE NOT!
ADMIT THAT
I'M SMARTER THAN YOU,
OR WE'RE HAVING
BRAIN TARTARE
FOR DINNER.
[CHEEKY SNARLS]
OKAY, I SWEAR!
YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ME!
YOU'RE THE SMARTEST KID
AT SCHOOL!
AND YOU CAN'T
TELL ANYONE
ABOUT MY ZOMBIE,
NOT BEFORE
THE SCIENCE FAIR.
OKAY, I WON'T TELL, I PROMISE!
LET HIM GO.
[CHEEKY GRUMBLES]
[MITCH RUNS AWAY,
PANTING IN FEAR]
OKAY, CHEEKY LET'S GO HOME.
[GROWLING]
[ROARS]
[THUD]
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
[CROWS CAW]
[GROANING]
[CHAINS RATTLE]
CHEEKY?
WHERE ARE WE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LET ME GO.
[GRUMBLING] PEHHHHHH....
[SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]