Quincy M.E. (1976–1983): Season 8, Episode 4 - Dying for a Drink - full transcript

Doctor Quincy is going to
reautopsy one of my cases?

It's not what she did that was
wrong. It's what she didn't do.

Lorraine Linderman is in the
advanced stages of alcoholism.

I'm not an alcoholic!

Take a good look and
see what I see every night.

You're a drunk, Lorraine.

You know what it's like
making love to a drunk?

But because her
disease is alcoholism,

your response was to insult
her and to humiliate her.

Her drinking was not my problem.

The woman is sick, she
has a treatable disease.



We better get to her
fast, before it's too late.

Gentlemen, you
are about to enter

the most fascinating
sphere of police work,

the world of forensic medicine.

Good afternoon, doctors.

Everyone have a nice lunch?

Uh-oh.

Dr. Quincy, there's really
nothing to "uh-oh" about.

Uh-oh. It's a whopper.

No, really, it's nothing.

I'm just adding a reautopsy
of the Whitlock case

I don't remember
doing a Whitlock...

It wasn't your case.
Dr. Linderman did the initial post,

but the insurance company
is disputing the results.



I don't understand. Doctor
Linderman is usually so thorough.

I agree.

But the family claims Doctor
Linderman made a gross error.

That figures if she
did it on a Friday.

I beg your pardon, Dr. Wirtz?

Oh, nothing...

Well, if you'll excuse me,
gentlemen, my patients await.

Well, here it is.

Doctor Linderman! Yes?

I know it's Friday and as always
you're anxious to get out of here,

but would you kindly pay
attention to what you're doing!

You've ruined my blood specimen!

I did what?

My specimen from
the Holcomb case...

You mixed the blood from your
case with it and ruined both samples.

I'm terribly sorry, Doctor.

I don't know how I made
such a stupid mistake.

I do.

Even your friend, Doctor
Quincy, has to reautopsy

one of your cases
from last Friday.

Reautopsy one of my cases?

Yeah, the Whitlock
case, if memory serves.

Doctor Quincy is going to
reautopsy one of my cases?

I've never had one of my
cases reautopsied, never.

Maybe it's about time.

Can you honestly
say you're surprised?

I'm late.

Would you take the rest of the
tissue specimens for me, okay?

Will do.

Oh, my.

How could Doctor Linderman
have been so wrong?

It was an honest mistake.

Quincy, this was her third
"honest mistake" this month.

This department
depends on its accuracy.

There is no room here for
so-called honest mistakes.

Not when they happen
with that kind of frequency.

I won't tolerate it.

Lorraine Linderman is one of
the finest pathologists we have.

You remember when I got in
hot water over the Hellinger killing?

Lorraine worked with Sam
around the clock for two days

to prove Hellinger's
death was no accident.

That was some of the finest forensic
work that's ever been done here.

I remember.

- It was good work.
- Let's give her
the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe she's having some
personal problems or something.

I'm sure whatever it is
can be straightened out.

- Then you
straighten it out with her.
- Me? Why me?

Do I look like Dear Abby?

Listen, you work
very closely with her.

I'm sure that she would open
up with you. What do you say?

And besides, Quincy, I'm getting
pressure from the top to get rid of her.

You know how much
I don't want to do that.

- All right, I'll talk to her.
- Thank you.

It's the least I could do.

Is Doctor Linderman here?

Uh, actually, Doctor Quincy,

Doctor Linderman had
to leave a little early today.

I'm sorry I missed her.

When she comes in Monday,
would you have her see me please.

I'll tell her first thing.

You didn't expect to catch
Doctor Linderman here

on a Friday afternoon, did you?

As a matter of fact, I did. What's
so special about Friday afternoons?

Nothing, nothing.

Len, is there some friction
between you and Doctor Linderman?

Of course not. Whatever
gave you that idea?

You did.

You've been throwing her more
jabs than Schmeling threw Louis.

It's... it's nothing.

It's none of my business.

What's none of your business?

Doctor Quincy, if
you'll excuse me,

I'd like to finish this post and
get home on time for a change.

Hello.

No, Mr. Linderman,
she's not here.

No, she just left a
few minutes ago.

She said she had a bridal
shower for her friend, Louise.

Right, right, the shower.

Yes, sir.

Good-bye.

Hello. I'm home.

I'm sorry I'm a little late.

A little late? Try
four and a half hours.

Gary, I said I was sorry.

You knew I had
Louise's shower to go to.

And it lasted eight hours?

Well, no, but you
know what happened?

Janet got sick and I had
to take her home and then...

Her babysitter had car trouble,
uh, something with the battery

- and then we had...
- And what?

You had to squeeze
in four or five drinks?

Damn it, Lorraine,

you knew I had a plane to catch.

You always have
a plane to catch.

Well, I'm sorry. It's called
making a living, you know?

Now I'll be lucky if I
can catch the red-eye.

You didn't have to wait for
me. You could have gone.

And done what? Worry
about you all night?

Not knowing if you finally wrapped
the car around a tree or something.

I called all over
looking for you.

I told you, I had to
take Janet home.

You always have
an excuse, don't you.

A shower for Louise,
a class reunion,

always an excuse for
coming home this way.

Well, I am tired of it, Lorraine,
I've had it up to here with you.

Then why don't
you go... go ahead...

You're always
threatening to leave.

Why don't you get your
plane and stay there.

You're always away anyhow.

You know damn
well it's not by choice.

I can't help it if my clients
are spread all over the country.

I know. I realize.

I'd just like you to
be home a little more.

You're always on the road.

I go to work, I come home
and there's nobody here.

Why don't you stay home tonight.

You can catch a plane
first thing in the morning.

You know I can't. I've got a
meeting at eight tomorrow.

Lori, listen to me.
I've been thinking,

maybe your job is, well,
somehow getting to you.

I want you to think about taking
a leave of absence for a while.

Get away from the morgue,
stay home, pull yourself together.

But, Gary, you know how
important my job is to me.

I don't have children
to take care of.

Let's not get into
that now, okay?

Listen, I've gotta run.

You be a good girl
while I'm gone, right?

Damn you, Gary. Damn you!

Lawrence, it's after ten thirty,

did you give Doctor
Linderman my message?

Come in.

Thanks, Lawrence, she's here.

I'm so sorry I'm
late, Doctor Quincy,

but you know how
Monday mornings are.

Absolutely hectic.

I didn't even have
time to change yet.

I understand, I want
you to take a look at this.

I heard you reautopsied
one of my cases last week.

Whitlock.

I don't understand how I
could have been so wrong.

This is stupid.

Where was my head?

It was just dumb.

There is no excuse for this.

I should never have
jumped to a conclusion

without a complete analysis
of the stomach contents.

It was stupid of me.

You're being too hard on
yourself. We all make mistakes.

Not the kind I make.
Mine are doozies.

You're overreacting, honestly.

Well, how would you react

if your superior called you on the
carpet for a dumb, senseless mistake

that caused untold
grief to a family.

I'm not calling you on the
carpet and I'm not criticizing you.

I'm just pointing out an error
any one of us could have made.

We're a team here. I
backstop you, you backstop me,

just like the time you saved the
freight for me on the Hellinger murder.

You and Sam found the
mistake and cleared me.

I want to do the same for you.

I see.

"Don't worry about your
negligence, Lorraine,

- "I'll cover for you."
- I didn't mean that.

Lorraine, sit down.

I'd prefer standing,
thank you, Doctor.

Lorraine...

I certainly don't want to pry. I
don't know how to put this, but

are you having personal
problems of some kind?

No, everything is fine.

Well, then, if we're through,

I should finish the
Jankowski case.

I understand Lieutenant
Monahan is anxious for the results.

Lieutenant, did you get the results
from the Jankowski autopsy yet?

Oh, no. You mean to tell me
the D.A.'s still on their backs?

Maybe I'd better call Linderman
and see what's holding things up.

Main autopsy, Harper speaking.

Yeah, Harper,
Lieutenant Monahan.

Oh, hi, Lieutenant.

Listen, what about
that Jankowski case?

Uh...

Jankowski.

Yeah, right, right.

We didn't finish it yet.

What do you mean?
It's not done yet?

Well, the labwork's done
and so are the slides, but...

Look, Lawrence, give me
the bottom line, will you?

I can't hold the
suspect forever.

Now, when can I
expect the report?

Well, Dr. Linderman
should be back any minute.

We can finish up the results
and get it to you early evening?

Okay, then I'll expect it on my
desk no later than seven thirty.

Right, Lieutenant, seven thirty.

Oh, hello, Linda.

Come in.

- Good morning.
- What's so good about it?

Things that bad?

I just asked Lorraine
Linderman to report to me.

I'm at the end of my rope,
I don't know what to do.

You know the Jankowski murder

Doctor Linderman was working on?

She never finished the
post yesterday afternoon.

This morning Monahan
and the D.A. climbed

up one side of my
back and down the other.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

I have no choice.

- I have to put
her on suspension.
- No, you do have a choice.

What?

Take her off the table for a while
and put her on sign-out cases.

- Sign-outs.
- Yeah.

Sign-outs.

That's a marvelous idea.

- Yes?
- Doctor Linderman is here.

I'll be right there.

Be kind to her.

Hello, Doctor Quincy. Lorraine.

Doctor Linderman,
if you'll come in now.

- Sandy, hold my calls.
- Yes, sir.

Oh, Doctor Quincy,
do you have a minute?

Yeah, sure, why?

It's about your expense report.

Thank you.

Doctor Linderman... Lorraine,

I almost don't know
where to begin.

You've been with us
for over three years now

and for the most part, your
work has been exemplary.

Dr. Asten, if it's about
yesterday I can explain.

No...

I'm sure you have a
perfectly valid reason

for not finishing that
Jankowski case on time,

but that's only the
tip of the iceberg.

I see. There's more.

Your absenteeism is, well,
much higher than anyone else's.

Tardiness and

these misjudgments on cases...

They weren't misjudgments,

they were mistakes.

I was trying to be kind.

All right, mistakes.

Major mistakes

on three cases this
last month alone.

I'm sorry.

I wish I could offer
you some excuse.

I can't.

If you're having
some health problems

or personal problems
or something...

No. Nothing like that.

Then what is it?

Well, uh...

You're not leaving
me any options.

So what I'm going to do is
assign you to sign-out cases.

Sign-outs?

What you're saying is that
you want me out of the autopsy

room to review
cut-and-dried cases.

Who can make a mistake
reviewing natural deaths,

is that what you're saying?

No. It's an important job.
You'll have responsibility...

But no cases to work on.

Just review circumstances
but don't touch a body.

Do you know how humiliating
that would be for me?

Lorraine, it's only temporary...

Doctor Asten, please, let's
make this easy on both of us.

My husband and I were
discussing this just a few nights ago

and I think he's right.

I should take a
break for a while,

a leave of absence, if you will.

But you don't have to
do that. I want you to stay.

No, my husband was right.

I need a rest from all this.

Doctor Asten, I'd like
a leave of absence.

All right, if that's
what you want.

- Thank you.
- Listen.

I'm very fond of
you. We all are.

Whenever you're ready to
come back, please, call me.

- I will.
- I'm not just saying...

What happened?

I just granted Lorraine Linderman
an indefinite leave of absence.

You did what?

She wanted it! Because her husband
convinced her she needs a rest.

You know, she
wouldn't talk to me.

I just know there's
something wrong.

Those Doctor
Linderman's records?

May I borrow them?

I have a friend in personnel
who could take a look at these

and maybe give us a
clue as to what's going on.

Our Department of Personnel?
Yeah. Margo Hennessey.

If you think it will help.

What have we got to lose?

Without talking
to her personally

and based just on her
medical records and work file...

I'm not positive,

- but...
- But, what?

Quincy, it's my considered
opinion that Lorraine Linderman

is in the advanced
stages of alcoholism.

Doctor Linderman? An alcoholic?

Listen, Quincy.

That file you showed me shows two
and a half years of sheer perfection.

I mean, that's not normal.

People do make
mistakes now and again.

Unless you're driven
by perfectionism.

I don't understand
how that applies here.

What I'm trying to tell you is,

so many alcoholics

have a driving need,
almost an obsession,

to control their environment.

They strive for perfection

and when they
can't achieve it sober,

alcohol at least gives them the
impression everything is perfect.

I never saw that in her.

That's because she kept it
pretty much under control.

Now, back here in March,

a few minor errors
started to creep in.

She had to redo
a few of her tests,

was cited for filing
the wrong case...

But that's not the
important stuff.

Then you see her file shows...

Starting with March 21st,

she began leaving earlier
and earlier on Fridays

and coming in later and
later the following Mondays.

The last three
Mondays of last month

- she called in sick.
- Coincidence?

Hangover.

My guess is

she used to drink moderately
after work during the week

and really pulls the plug out on
weekends. That's a pretty normal pattern.

But now,

I think she's lost control
even during the week.

Doctor Linderman?

She can't be an alcoholic.

Oh, why not? Because
she's a professional woman?

Professional women are
alcoholics, too, Doctor.

You're talking to one.

You? Yes, me.

I didn't know that.

Does it make a difference?

Of course not.

But why did it come
on so suddenly?

Why did it spring up in
the last three months?

Quincy, it didn't
just spring up.

That's the insidious part.

She's probably been
drinking for years.

She just finally lost control
of it in the last few months.

You mean because of the
progressive, degenerative

- nature of the disease?
- Exactly.

I got something in my shoe.

See...

A woman alcoholic
can drink for years

and never get a hangover.

As a matter of fact,

at the end of a long party
she can literally be the only one

on her feet who can
still function normally.

And then all of a sudden one day

she takes two drinks, and, boom,

she's in a blackout,
can't remember her name

or how she got where she is.

But if she knew her
drinking was out of control,

why didn't she come to me
or Doctor Asten or any of us?

First of all, she probably
doesn't make the connection

between her drinking
and her other problems.

And even if she thinks
she's drinking too much,

doctors, by and large, are
terrible at recognizing alcoholism.

Oops, no offense.

Anyway, Quincy,

what I'm trying to say is,

that a woman alcoholic

has little or no self-esteem.

She has no sense of identity,

no sense of worth or value,

she feels guilty and ashamed
at her inability to stop drinking...

Do you expect her to
sit across from a doctor

or an employer she hardly knows
and say "On top of everything else,

"I drink too much!"

Come on, Quincy.

It's the old double standard.

A male alcoholic is
somehow acceptable.

You know, the life of the party.

But a woman with
the same disease?

She's a lush, a drunk.

Someone to be hidden away

or discriminated against.

- I don't believe
that still exists.
- No?

Try this on,

a man gets drunk

and finds himself in a
motel room with two women.

When he tells his friends,
they say, "Boy, were you lucky."

Now, a woman gets drunk

and she finds herself in a
motel room with two men?

What do you think people
would say about her?

You think they'd call her lucky?

You're right. It's
a double standard.

What do we do now?

We try to get her into a
rehab program if she's willing.

That may not be that easy.

She's on an indefinite
leave of absence.

Oh, that's bad.

Her husband suggested it. He
thought it'd be the best thing for her.

Best for him, you
mean, worst thing for her.

- It could kill her.
- What are you talking about?

What does a leave of
absence does for her, huh?

It allows her to stay home

and have more
opportunity to drink more.

But I'm sure her
husband meant well.

Her husband is
protecting himself!

He gets Dr. Linderman
out of the public eye

so her behavior
doesn't embarrass him.

Trust me, Quincy,

most husbands of alcoholics
are a self-serving lot.

Look, I gotta go back now, okay?

Thank you for the lunch.

Oh, thank you.

Bye.

And, Quince,

we better get to her
fast, before it's too late.

Quincy, good morning.

Glad you're in early, we've
got a heavy load today.

Doctor Linderman's out
so we're short-handed.

I don't mind telling you
that Margo's diagnosis

of Lorraine absolutely
shocked me.

Me too.

By the way, I spoke to
Margo before I came in.

She's going to visit
Lorraine this morning.

- Maybe she can get
some help for her.
- I hope so...

I really hope so, Quincy.

She's such a...

Good morning, Doctors.

I see I have two
extra cases today.

We will be getting a new
pathologist soon, I hope.

Someone a little more
reliable perchance?

Dr. Wirtz, I'll take care
of my responsibilities

and you take care
of yours, thank you.

You know, Len, as a
pathologist, you're one of the best.

But as a human being, you stink.

- I beg your pardon.
- You heard me.

You've been working side by side

with Lorraine Linderman
for over three years.

How long have you known
she had a drinking problem?

- Too long.
- Did you ever say
anything to her?

Did you ever once voice
your concern or offer to help?

Her drinking was not my problem.

Oh, no, you're wrong, Doctor.

The woman is sick, she
has a treatable disease.

If it was cancer or heart
disease or a broken leg.

You would do everything in your
power to help her, to comfort her.

But because her
disease is alcoholism,

your response was to insult
her and to humiliate her.

And you, Lawrence.

How did you help her?

By covering up for her?
By ignoring her illness?

What did you think, it was too
personal to tell us so we could help her?

You thought it would
just go away on its own?

You're not being fair, Doctor.

You don't confront a woman
who drinks like she does.

Oh yes you do, Doctor.

She was slowly killing herself,

just as if she held
a gun to her head.

And what did you do about it?

You watched her
pull the trigger.

As part of my report, Doctor,

I had to examine
your medical history.

I know about the baby you lost

and your subsequent
hysterectomy.

But that's really none of the County's
business, is it, Ms. Hennessey?

I don't see how that has
anything to do with my job.

It's not just your job I'm concerned
about, Lorraine. It's your life.

Diazepam.

Pills are not one
of my problems.

What about alcohol?

What about alcohol?

Have you ever been drunk?

Of course, who hasn't?

Do you often drink alone?

Sometimes, you know, a
pick-me-up or something. So what?

You know what I used to do?

I used to buy my
liquor at different stores

so the clerks wouldn't
know how much I was buying.

And when the bottles were empty,

I used to hide them
around the house rather

than throw them
out so the garbage

man wouldn't know
how much I was drinking.

Do you ever do those things?

Miss Hennessey,

I know where you're going.

I'm not an alcoholic!

I'm not!

I am.

And it's not the end
of the world to admit it.

In fact, it feels pretty damn
good to finally identify your illness,

give it a name so you
know how to treat it.

Lorraine.

Try to understand

that you do have a choice
between drinking and not drinking.

Why don't you give
yourself the option

of just investigating the
choice of not drinking.

Very simply.

Just sit in on a recovery group.

There's lots of them.

I'm going to my group tomorrow,

it's called Women For Sobriety.

Why don't I pick you
up and we'll go together.

I don't know.

Let me talk to my husband.

You're not doing this for
him, you're doing it for yourself.

Okay.

You just think about it, huh?

Okay?

Call me, will you promise?

- Okay?
- Yeah, I'll call.

- Promise?
- I will call.

Lorraine, you don't need it.

And, and I don't want to
see you getting involved

with a bunch of drunks.

How would it look for a
respected doctor like you

to associate with those,

those kind of people?

Well, maybe I do have a problem.

- I don't know what else to do.
- No, but I do.

Look.

I know it's been rough on
you these last few months

with me going out
of town so much.

I couldn't help it, it's the
season... But, now it's over.

Now it's time for us.

What do you mean?

I was going to surprise
you, but, what the hell.

I made reservations for the
two of us in Puerto Vallarta.

We're going day after tomorrow.

Gary, why didn't you tell me?

I just did. That's all
you need, Lori, trust me.

A little break, a
little rest in the sun.

You don't need group
therapy, you need a vacation!

You're right!

Just the two of us,

a vacation together.

He's taking her away
on vacation. That's terrific.

Terrific?

Try terrible.

- Why?
- Oh, Quincy.

What do you suppose an
alcoholic does on vacation?

They relax, let their
hair down and drink.

Only on vacation,

drinking is not only acceptable,
it's encouraged by the environment.

I never thought of it that way.

Maybe you should talk to him,

explain the situation and I'm sure
he'd want what's best for his wife.

Oh, come on, please.

Maybe on the
surface, but deep down,

he really wants
what's best for him.

That's why I'm sure he persuaded
her not to go to the group.

Quincy, I've seen
this many times.

The man's a
classic co-alcoholic.

You mean he's got a
drinking problem too?

No, no, no.

See,

a co-alcoholic
unconsciously helps

and usually encourages an
alcoholic to continue drinking.

It gives them a sense of power

and control over the drinker.

And if and when
the female alcoholic

finally sobers up,

the male leaves.

Leaves her when she's sober?

That's right.

The sad fact is that
fifty times as many men

leave their alcoholic spouse
as the other way around.

I've seen it happen so
often I can set my watch by it.

Okay, but what do we do for
Lorraine Linderman right now?

There's nothing
we can do right now.

We just wait
until it gets worse.

Until the disease degenerates

to a point where she may find
herself choosing between life

and death from drinking,

and if that vacation with
her husband goes poorly,

she may make that
choice sooner than we think.

How the hell can you
embarrass me like that!

Oh, come on, Gary.

The waiter knew I
was only fooling around.

Lorraine, I don't understand why
you always have to step over the edge.

The trouble with you is you don't
know when you've had enough.

You said I could
have wine with dinner.

Yes, a glass or two, but you drank the
whole damn bottle and ordered another.

This is a vacation, isn't it?

First vacation together in what?

Three years?

How 'bout a hug, huggy?

I must have had a
little too much sun...

Come on.

Where are we going?

You better lay down for a while.

Only if you join me, sailor.

Lorraine, for Pete's sake.

You don't love me
anymore, do you?

Lorraine, you're drunk!

Not drunk enough.

Not drunk enough to keep me

from feeling what I feel now.

Ever since the baby,

you haven't so much as
kissed me and meant it.

You think that's it, huh?

Do you?

Well then just take
a look in the mirror.

Take a good look and
see what I see every night.

You're a drunk, Lorraine.

You know what it's like
making love to a drunk?

So that's your
excuse this time, huh?

Well, you know what?

Why don't you just go and
find some floozy on the side.

What makes you think I haven't?

I see, now.

How could I have been so blind?

All those late nights,

all those sudden trips.

I wonder who's the bigger fool.

Me for believing you

or you for staying so long with
a person you despise so much.

Lorraine.

It's not like that.

Lorraine, I'm sorry.

Open up.

Lorraine?

Lorraine, open the door.

Lorraine, do you hear
me? Open the door!

Hello.

Margo, no, it's
okay, what's wrong?

What?

Is she okay?

Well thank God he was there.

Yeah.

I am glad she's finally
going to get some therapy.

Thanks for calling me.

Bye-bye.

I'm really glad
you're doing this.

I honestly think
it's the best thing.

I want you to get
well, I really do, Lori.

I know you do.

Lori, honest-to-God, I'm
sorry about that other woman.

I was just being selfish.

I never realized what
you were going through.

She...

I'm never going
to see her again.

All I care about is
you getting better.

Believe me, Lori.
That's all I want.

I hope so, Gary,
I really hope so.

Hi.

You ready?

About as ready as I'll ever be.

Bye.

They're talking about budget,
and I'm talking about human beings.

Oh, Lorraine,

I'm Dr. Morelli.

Call me Gail.

You want to sit in, Margo?

I'd love to, but I have
to get back downtown.

Here's Lorraine's file.

I couldn't put you in
better hands, Lorraine.

If you need me for any
reason, any reason at all,

- you be sure to call.
- Thank you.

I know you're very
nervous and a little jittery,

but I want you to know we're
all here for the same reason.

Every one of us has
felt exactly like you do.

No one could feel this bad.

You'd be surprised.

Every one of us is an alcoholic.

I say "is" because
there is no cure.

All we try to do is to
get sober and stay sober,

and we do it one day at a time.

Come and sit down.

Right over there.

Ladies, I'd like you
to meet Lorraine.

I...

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to do.

What we do here is
talk to one another.

We share our feelings

and our fears

and our experiences

and our frustrations.

But most important,

we learn and truly understand

that none of us is alone.

That we never have to be
alone with our illness ever again.

I think that's the most
important thing with all of us.

I mean, knowing
that we have support.

That there are a
lot of other women

who have the same
disease I have,

and know deep down
in their hearts how I feel.

Groups like this Women for
Sobriety and Alcoholics Anonymous,

wherever I go, I know
there's a support system.

Lorraine,

would you like to
share with the group

how you feel about being here?

I can't.

I know,

you feel embarrassed, alone,

even helpless.

But try to understand,

we're all helpless when
it comes to alcohol.

That's why we're here.

Try to accept that fact.

Just like a diabetic is
helpless against sugar,

your disease makes you
helpless against alcohol.

And I think every alcoholic
woman in the world

is made to feel embarrassed
and guilty about it.

God knows how guilty I felt

every day for the ten
years I was drinking.

I... I even tried suicide

because I couldn't
stand the guilt.

But I couldn't
even do that right.

Now, I thank God I
bungled my suicide.

And I realized that

I had nothing to
be guilty about,

nothing to be ashamed about.

I thank God for my sobriety.

We all are.

I promise you, Lorraine, soon.

Maybe not tomorrow or
the next day, but very soon,

you'll understand this.

You'll understand your illness

and the shame
you mistakenly feel

will vanish into thin air.

Francine, just so
you understand,

getting sober doesn't make
your problems disappear.

All it means is that you have to
face the same problems sober.

And it's not easy.

- What's the point?
- What?

What's the point?

If it just makes us feel
the pain more intensely?

You just said the
magic word, "feel."

Don't you see, alcohol
robs us of feeling,

any feeling.

I'm talking about
joy as well as pain,

love as well as hate,

serenity as well as anguish.

And to feel our emotions

and to express our feelings

is the beginning
of a whole new life.

And isn't that what you want?

A whole new life?

Without alcohol?

When I was drinking at my worst,

I knew I wanted to die.

Towards the end,

surrounded by all the death,

all the bodies that
crossed my table,

I used to think how

peaceful it must be.

No worries,

no anxieties,

no pain,

just everlasting sleep.

I don't know how many
times I thought about dying.

I would

look down at a body
on my table and think

how lucky they were

that their pain was over,

the pressure was gone for them.

After my baby died

and they stole from my body

the only organs that
made me a woman,

I wanted to die.

But I was afraid,

God, I was so afraid

and drinking

took the fear away,

it took the pain away,

it took the pressure off.

And then in the last few months,

no matter how much I
drank, the pain stayed,

it wouldn't go away.

So you finally got to the
point of choosing between

death and sobriety,

consciously knowing that suicide
is not a solution to your problems.

Yeah.

But it was really Gary who

pushed me over the
edge toward sobriety.

I don't know what
I'd do without him.

Things are going well with him?

All things considered, yes.

He's

been going to therapy, too now.

And, uh...

I really think our
relationship is,

well, more honest
than it's ever been.

That's great.

But I want you to remember
what I told you weeks ago,

we get sober for ourselves,

not for anyone else.

And if that sounds selfish,

so be it.

I know.

Believe me, I know.

Two ginger ales and a club soda.

Thanks, Diane.

What a waste,

I'm sitting in a bar
with two normies

and they order ginger
ale. What a waste.

Cheers.

Okay, now that you've
plied me with club soda,

you probably think I'll spill the
beans about Lorraine Linderman.

Never entered our
minds. How is she?

Coming along real fine.

She's been in the
group for over a month

now and making real progress.

She's getting real good
support from her husband.

I may be a bit premature,

but I think it's
looking good for her.

Listen, what about work?

Would it help her if she
came back to her job?

Oh, that's a
wonderful idea. Yes.

I think that would be great.

Terrific.

It wouldn't interfere
with her recovery?

An alcoholic recovers every
day of her life. It never stops.

Heaven knows we need her.

Probably as much
as she needs us.

Great! Drink up, boys,

the next round's on me.

Yes, Doctor Asten, all the
county paperwork is filed.

Margo Hennessey
took care of everything.

Well, just a little nervous,

but the thought of finally getting
back to work is music to my ears.

Eight sharp. Tomorrow. Okay.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Oh, Gary.

Tomorrow morning, eight a.m.
sharp, back to the grindstone.

I feel like a kid on
the first day of school.

What's that?

Where you going?

You don't have
another trip, now?

It came up suddenly.

- I've got to go for a few...
- Oh, Gary...

Lorraine, Lorraine.

I may not be coming back.

What are you talking about?

Look, I...

The truth is, I'm still seeing
Andrea, the woman I told you about.

- You mean to say that...
- No, please...

Please, Lorraine, listen to me.

I didn't want this to happen.

I tried to break it off after
we came back from Mexico.

But she was going through
some heavy stuff and...

And I wasn't?

- Lorraine, try to understand.
- Oh, I do.

You put it all in
perspective for me.

I understand it all.

You have every
right to want to go.

I haven't been
much of a wife to you.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh no, Lorraine, it...

No. Please.

Look, Lorraine.

Don't touch me.

Just leave.

Just go.

- How's it look, Marc?
- It looks good.

I know, but is it straight?

Doctor Quincy, I ask
you, is all this necessary?

Len, as much as I respect you,

if you say one derogatory word,

utter so much as a
tiny sarcastic remark,

you'll see a new
meaning to the word rage.

Okay, okay.

That won't be necessary, Doctor.

I think what she's done
is very courageous.

And I second the motion.

I hope all this doesn't
embarrass her.

Quincy, somebody's coming.

- It's only Doctor Asten.
- Don't spoil the surprise,

get away from the door.

- Quincy, I've got to talk...
- Talk, but as soon
as she comes in...

- Quincy!
- What's wrong?

I just got the report.

Lorraine Linderman
committed suicide

around three
o'clock this morning.

No.

Take that sign down!