Queer as Folk (2000–2005): Season 4, Episode 6 - Episode #4.6 - full transcript

Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson enjoyed working with painter Sam Auerbach, but punches the 'vilest man I ever met' after some manual contact and the suggestion of a threesome with her dike partner. After a row witch Vic, Debbie wants no trace of him left, so Mike and Emmet move his last belongings, but find him deceased. Justin noticed studly Shane at Babylon, finds him in a bar and is invited to help him unpack as he's moving into Pittsburgh. Deb works out her guilt for being mean to Vic by slapping Brian and throwing him out for saying Vic's four years after his terminal diagnosis were a priceless gift, only Micheal understands him. Blake apologizes to Ted followed by a kiss, both greatly appreciated. Justin is in no mood to honor his bet with Brian, who instead gets a blow job from Shane, who afterward compliments Brian's gear but adds he's a doctor and alas notices a suspicious lump on his left testicle.

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six,

Shake it, dude.

Cue the pulse to begin

Cue the pulse to begin

Cue the pulse to begin

Cue the pulse to begin

That new campaign you
came up with for us

is a stroke of genius.

Oh, thanks, Charlie.

Of course.

I couldn't agree with you more.



So these are the people
who make you rich?

God love 'em.

And...

here's your cut of the action.

Brian...

The Concerned Citizens
for the Truth

would like to thank the
citizens of Liberty Avenue

for their generous support.

Brian, it was a gift,

a way of saying thank you.

Well, now it's my turn.

Besides, you know me.

I'll only blow it on
booze and debauchery

and the Armani
spring collection.



Well, in that case...

Case closed.

Jeanette and Anna
have their son back,

and an unfair decision's
been overturned.

Ah, congratulations, Mel.

Well, I owe it all to you.

Mmm... me?

For reminding me to have the
courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to accept
the things I can't.

Yeah, still working
on that myself.

Yeah, I tried to make it work, but, um,

living alone was just
too fucking lonely.

And too lonely
fucking. Right, Em?

Now she's living in sin.

Or right across the hall from it.

Just make sure to put
the toilet seat down.

Deb gets a little touchy.

Oh, 'specially at 2:00
o'clock in the morning.

'Cause I'd rather fall in

than have to put up with that
ingrate I used to live with.

The ingratitude of those publishers,

rejecting your second novel.

Well, when it comes to the bottom
line, there's no such thing as loyalty.

You'll find another publisher.

Attention. Attention, everyone.

Come with me.

He's gonna make a speech.

Um...

I'd like to thank my clients...

Um, my employees... oh.

And my friends

for being here tonight
to help launch Kinnetik.

It hasn't been easy.

They say that the
market is shrinking.

They say that it's the wrong
time to start a new agency.

Well, I say...

"Don't believe a fucking word."

Especially in advertising.

The guy's got balls.

You don't know the half of 'em.

Sis.

Sis.

Waitress!

Betty, hon, you want to
take table number five?

I'm busy.

Sure, Deb.

What can I get for you gents?

My fucking sister.

Justin, Justin.
Check this out.

What is it?

It's an e-mail, but
look who it's from.

Brett Keller.

The director?

Yeah, "Ratman 2",

"Pharmacy Cowboy",

"V-men".

He says he's a big fan of "Rage".

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Especially in the part where he says
he wants to make it into a movie.

Are you serious? A movie?

A movie? Who's making a movie?

Brett Keller would like to...

"float the possibility of turning
your brilliant comic book

into a live-action feature".

Oh my god!

Oh, Michael!

I... I always said you'd be
rich and famous one day.

I did. Oh my god, I... I
can't breathe. Oh, honey.

Deb, take it easy.

Ma, sit down.

Betty, could you bring some water?

Sure thing.

Are you all right, sis?

I'm perfectly fine. There's
no need to concern yourself.

Brett Keller wants to make
a movie out of "Rage."

Well, congratulations, you two.

When's the premiere?

He's taking his mother. You
can rent it at blockbuster.

When are you going to
let up on Uncle Vic?

I don't wish to
discuss my brother.

I'm still waiting on
that side of slaw.

Just because he didn't invite
you to his dinner party?

It's not just that.

He obviously just doesn't
want me around any more.

You know that's not true.

He has his own life now. That
doesn't mean he loves you any less.

Hey.

Remember what you always told me?

"Blood is thicker than
marinara sauce."

If that's how she wants it,
there's nothing you can do,

except go on with your life.

Thanks.

I thought we might arrange the
landscapes according to season.

Lindsay?

Hmm? Oh. Oh, sorry, Sidney.

I said I was thinking we could arrange
the landscapes according to season.

Sure. Great idea.

What are you reading?
Your horoscope?

Huh. The new Auerbach mural.

Ah. I stopped by yesterday
to take a peek.

Pretty amazing.

I've always loved his work.

He's always evolving and
always challenging himself.

Hey, Sidney,

what would you think of doing
an exhibit of his work

in conjunction with the mural?

It'd be a dream come true.

Except that it won't.

His New York rep already told
the Carnegie Gallery "No".

Well, there's no harm in
asking him ourselves.

My horoscope said, "take a chance".

I suggest that it's time to get
our head out of the stars,

and get back down to earth.

Now, I think

we should arrange the
landscapes into seasons.

Okay.

He wants to make
"Rage" into a movie.

Brian: So?
Cynthia: Brett Keller. That's fantastic.

Are these rates firm?

As my abs.

I bought one of those machines.

Did you hear what I said?

Yeah, he wants to
make it into a movie.

Tell them we'll book
the next three issues

if they knock off 15%.

Aren't you proud of me?

I'm going to be rich.

Good. Now you can pay
back the thousands I spent

on your aborted education.

Who needs school when
you have a picture deal?

You still won't have a degree.

I already have an idea
for the first feature.

Assuming, of course, there are
going to be numerous sequels.

J.T. Gets even with his bashers,

goes to Hollywood
and becomes a star.

Wow! Where'd you
get that brainstorm?

How about we go to Babylon
later and celebrate?

Sorry. It's a school night.

Cynthia, when is the
deadline on that run?

Noon tomorrow.

Hey, Spielberg.

Ho.

One drink.

Oh, okay.

Here you go, honey.

I put some miniature
marshmallows on top.

Oh-h! I love miniature
marshmallows.

I've always thought of
them as angels' balls.

It's good to know they got 'em.

Whoa! That is one
fucking red door.

It's not "fucking red",
it's "jungle red".

And I figured, since you're the
most colourful person on the block,

why not have a door to match?

Hah! It's nice.

Hey, Teddy!

Hey, Deb.

Hi, honey. Wanna come in
for some hot chocolate?

Uh... no.

Uh, thanks, I'm not...
I'm not staying.

Too bad.

Well, if you change your mind,

I got a fresh bag of
angels' balls. Hmm!

Well, aren't you going to
make some caustic remark?

About what?

My moving in with Deb?

You know, "Now Emmett's
got his own personal fag hag."

I think it's a great idea.

Living alone would've
driven you nuts,

and I'm sure Deb enjoys
having a new roomie.

So all in all, I'd say it's
an ideal arrangement.

Almost as perfect as
your working for Brian.

I told him he's betting
on a loser, but...

wouldn't be the first time a long
shot came from behind, I guess.

We'll call you Seabiscuit.

As, uh...

as part of my recovery,

I'm trying to make
amends for my behaviour.

So I've written letters
apologizing to everyone.

Michael, Ben, Brian, Mel and Linz...

you.

Hmph. Last, as always.

Dammit, emmett, you
know you're not last.

Or least.

It's very admirable, Ted.

Admitting your mistakes.

Did everyone forgive you?

So far.

Must make you feel better.

Can't tell you how relieved I am.

Good for you.

But what's reading this
letter... Going to do for me?

Hmm?

Will it take away all the
damage that's been done?

All the pain that's been inflicted?

Will it make up for my feeling
inadequate and helpless?

Or erase all those memories of you
descending into your addiction,

while you tried to
drag me down with you?

Well... sorry, Teddy.

You'll just have to get your
feel-good fix from someone else.

That's so tight.

That's so cool. Oh!

Whoa!

First I'm going to pay
off my mom's house,

then I'm going to put a down
payment on a house for us.

Then I'm going to buy a car.

A Porsche Carrera.

It's only a two-seater.

Don't worry.

We'll let you ride in it once
in a while. Right, Ben?

Right, pal.

Although I don't know
which fantasy's crazier,

the one you're watching or the
one you're telling yourselves.

Why is it so crazy?

Just because he says he
wants to make it into a movie

doesn't mean it will
ever see the light of day.

This part's so cool.

I don't know why not.

I can just see rage doing
something like that.

Those guys talk big, but...

we'll see if they deliver.

Who's going to play Rage?

Tom Cruise.

Brad Pitt.

Those geezers?

You got to get Ashton Kutcher.

Where are you going?

Some of us non-Hollywood types have
a faculty meeting in the morning.

Come on, stay and
watch for a few minutes.

I'll sit on your lap.

Brett Keller film isn't my thing.

"V-men" was one of the
top grossers of last year.

All that proves is there're
a lot of people out there

who don't mind settling for
mindless entertainment.

That's why I like it.

Don't come to bed too late.

Fucking awesome!

Sam need this done now.

I'll just thin out the cadmium and
then add more white to the red.

Excuse me, I'm looking
for Mr. Auerbach.

Excuse me, is Sam Auerbach here?

You call this a bagel?

You might say his
presence is everywhere.

A lox wouldn't be
caught dead on this.

Sorry, Sam.

If I were you, I'd flee his
wrath as fast as you can.

Will someone find me a real bagel?

And a shmeer.

I'm on it, Sam.

Gotta run.

I don't know how the hell Andy
lived in this godforsaken burg,

but I sure as hell
know why he left.

Mr. Auerbach?

Yeah. Who are you?

My name is Lindsay Peterson.

I need that paint mixed.

Where the fuck is Jerome?

You just sent him out for bagels.

Huh... Mr. Auerbach, I'm a
tremendous fan of your work.

I-I-I... I think you're probably
the most brilliant painter...

I know. I know. I'm, uh...

you'll excuse me a moment, I
gotta pee like a son of a bitch.

I'll speak quickly.

I'll try to hold it.

Thank you.

I'm from the Sidney Bloom Gallery and
we were hoping we might interest you

in a show of your recent works, including
perhaps some drawings for the mural?

Why don't you just take
it up with my agent?

I feel the personal touch
is always the best.

Miranda, honey,

uh, would you just, uh,

take these brushes
up there for me?

Sure, Sam.

Thanks, sweetheart.

See, now that's what I
call the personal touch.

If I have to listen to Moaning
Mona cry one more time about

how she misses her pills,
I'm going to shove

a goddamn Percocet
down her throat myself.

There's a lesson in every story.

Yeah. And the lesson today was:

You can be a hopeless addict,

you can destroy your life and
the life of everyone around you,

but don't bore your audience.

Just keep coming.

I know, I know.

Mona will work her steps
and you'll work yours.

Yeah.

Except I seem to have forgotten
where my steps are leading me.

Sobriety. Wholeness.

I don't mean that.

Look, if what Emmett
says was true,

that the only reason that
I'm writing these is so that

everyone will forgive me and I
can feel good about myself,

then that's really no different than
the way I was using them before.

In which case he was
right not to accept it.

Look, I know it's upsetting.

The person you most wanted
to hear you, refused to listen.

But you can't be responsible
for his reaction.

Just spare me the A.A.
bullshit, would you?

You offered him your truth.

Yeah, "my truth".

That's all that matters.

Well, if that's all that matters, how come
you've never offered me your truth?

You know, I'm going
to skip the coffee.

I'll see you later.

Sis.

I'm so glad you're here.

I guess I kinda overreacted
the other night, but, uh,

you know me.

Queen of the drama queens.

So, uh, how about a
piece of kugelhof?

I just baked it.

That's what I miss. The
smell of your kugelhof.

I baked an extra one for you.

I'm sorry if you were hurt, sis.

You know that's the last
thing I'd ever want to do.

I know that, baby.

It's just that...

I'm entitled to my own life.

Who said you weren't?

Especially after all it
took for me to get it.

Hmm, you and me both.

So then let's be happy that...

we each finally have our own lives.

Well, yeah, you certainly do.

A sweet little apartment
and a boyfriend.

Life partner.

Life partner.

It's a miracle.

Of course, it takes a miracle
worker to make a miracle happen.

And I'm not just talking
about the good lord above.

I know, sis, I know.

How about a piece of kugelhof?

I'm talking sheer will and
hard work and sacrifices.

Lots of sacrifices.

You know, like my nursing
you myself when your

health insurance ran out.

Cleaning up your vomit
and wiping your ass.

Jesus Christ, if I have to hear about
you wiping my ass one more time...

Well, if I had to do it, you
can fucking hear about it.

I mean, who else would've
done it if it wasn't for me?

If I hadn't taken you in,
where would you have gone?

What would've happened to you?

I think we both know the answer
to that, so I'm just saying...

don't forget who put their life on hold,
so that you one day could live yours.

I'll never forget and
I'll always be grateful.

But I never asked or expected
you to sacrifice your life.

Well how else was it gonna happen?

By magic?

I'd be damned if I was gonna
let that disease get you,

not as long as I had one
ounce of strength left.

Why else do you think I did it?

"I thought you did it for me, mama".

What the hell is that
supposed to mean?

You think I did it for me?

If it gave you a sense of purpose,
a way to feel good about yourself.

You fucking little ingrate.

Look, this is my house. You
don't talk to me that way.

Your house?

Aren't you suddenly high and mighty?

I'm not even surprised.
You know, you...

you took what you needed,

and the first chance you got,
it was "So long, sucker!"

That's not true.

The hell it isn't!

You used me.

And you used me.

I think you'd better leave.

Don't even bother asking.
'Cause you know what?

I'm already gone.

Yeah. And don't bother coming
back until you say you're sorry.

And don't you worry, because
I'm never coming back.

I don't give a shit if
I ever see you again.

Oh, excuse me.

You want an apology?

Here's my apology:

Fuck you, little brother.

Fuck you.

You know the problem with our
extracurricular, one-fuck-only policy?

Is it that after a while,
you start asking yourself...

"Am I doing this because
I want to do it,

or because I need to do it?

And if I need to do it,

is it to prove to myself I'm
still young and attractive?

Or 'cause I think I'm
unworthy of being loved?"

Or maybe it's because I've had
every fuckable guy in this city.

What about him?

Ah...

the scent of fresh meat.

Thrill of the kill.

Hey, too bad, Simba.

It's me he's checking out.

In your dreams.

You want to bet?

What are the stakes?

If I win,

you take me on an all-expense
paid trip to "Ibeeza".

It's pronounced "Ibeetha".

And it's a long way to go
for a bathhouse with sand.

And if you win?

If I win...

You go back to school.

No fucking way.

Your call.

No, wait. Wait. All right.

Okay. You're on.

'Cause I know he was
checking me out.

Shit. He's gone.

He who hesitates doesn't get laid.

The man is a pig,

an absolute pig.

Ah, you know what they say
about meeting your heroes.

Whoever said it must have met him.

If I wasn't already a dyke, he'd've
sent me diving for the nearest muff.

And it's right here, baby.

You'd say I was...

attractive, wouldn't you?

Mmm, I have to shield my eyes
every time you walk in the room.

He looked right through
me, as if I was invisible.

But you should've seen the way he
went after his tramp assistant. Ugh.

Is that what you were wearing?

Mm, my wool coat.

What was the tramp assistant wearing?

Did you ever have a "Disco Barbie"?

You think I only played with G.I. Joe?

Yes, even I, Raging Bull,

was indoctrinated at a young age

to the straight man's ideal
of feminine perfection.

Mmm. Well, that's what
she was wearing.

Well, there's your answer.

You expect me to walk around
in a spandex dish towel

and a couple of Post-Its?

I'm merely giving you the
same advice you gave me

when Larry Jacobs took over
the Arlen versus Arlen case:

"It isn't right. It isn't fair. It just is."

Remind me to keep
my big mouth shut.

Look. He's a man, you're a woman.
Gay, straight, it doesn't matter.

We all have our powers of persuasion.

If you want something out of him,
you've got to play his game,

'cause he sure as hell
isn't going to play yours.

Shit.

Problem?

I'm just waiting for an
answer to an e-mail.

Well, it must be pretty important.

Yeah, Michael and I wrote Keller back and
told him we're interested in his offer.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure big-time directors have
hundreds of calls and e-mails to answer.

He'll get back to you when he can.

That is, if he's still interested.

Why wouldn't he be?

You know how it is out
in Hollywood. They're...

hot on something one minute
and cold on it the next.

I'm sure he meant it.

I'm sure you're right.

What if he turns it
into a piece of shit?

We won't let him.

Once you sell it, he can
do whatever he wants.

Make Rage... straight.

Ready for lunch?

We need to get a lawyer.

For what?

Keller could turn Rage
into a singing warthog,

and there's nothing
we can do about it.

What have you been telling him?

To be careful, that's all.

It's not going to happen.

He told us he loves Rage
just the way he is.

How do we know he's
not just saying that?

Thank you.

Thank you very much, Ben.

Now if you don't mind, I would
appreciate it if you would just butt out.

Happy to.

It looks nice.

Well, we faeries have
a special gift for

reclaiming anything, no
matter how common, and

transforming it into
something magical.

Well, almost anything.

I, uh...

believe this is yours.

I thought I returned that to sender.

I know. I...

retrieved it from
the dead letter file.

Well I, uh... already
told Teddy that, um,

I think it's great that he's doing his
steps and writing his letters, but

it's about him, not me.

That's where you're wrong.

It's about you helping him and, uh...

yourself, to move on.

I have moved on. Thanks.

And, uh, so has Ted
without any help or, uh,

or forgiveness from me.

He's not asking for your forgiveness.

He's asking you to acknowledge
his pain for having hurt you.

After that, it's up to
him to forgive himself.

That's the eighth one so far today.

If I'd've known what a fleshpot this
was, I would've signed up years ago.

Not that I need it.

I have the perfect twink physique.

Then why don't you put it to use?

Did you just start here?

Yeah.

I'm new in town.

Score one for Pittsburgh.

My name's Brian.

Shane.

It's always nice to
see a fresh... face.

Okay. I'll give you a call then.

Shit. Hold on.

Could you actually
do a favour for me?

You know, it's not
everybody who can...

spread their legs like that.

I still can't go as far as I'd like.

Well, I would be happy
to help stretch you.

It was nice talking to you.

I got to go.

The man that got away, huh?

And I was halfway up his ass.

He must've heard
that nasty rumour.

You know, the one
about you having crabs.

Ah. I wonder how that happened.

Pack the sunscreen.
We're going to Ibiza.

Ah, I wouldn't ditch
my textbooks yet.

Mr. Auerbach?

Yeah?

You wanted a good bagel?
Here's a good bagel.

Go ahead, try one.

Hmm, you screamed
loud enough for them.

These from New York?

Tell Jerome to go to Solly's.
It's the best deli in Pittsburgh.

By the way, I'm Lindsay Peterson,

from the Sidney Bloom Gallery.

We met briefly the other day.

This can't be right.

Well, you coming?

Oh, oh-oh. It's okay, sweetheart. That's okay,
you're in the best of hands. There you go.

It's incredible.

It's a work of monumental importance.

Right up there with the Deco
series and the Santa Fe project.

Bring the bagels?

Mr. Auerbach...

Sam.

Sam. I wish you would reconsider
allowing us to do a show

that would trace this mural from
commission to concept to execution.

Using your sketches
and notes, we could...

Give me a hand, would you?

Me?

Take this brush.

Some riata red number 9. Hmm?

Don't know where they come
up with these crazy names.

Nice even strokes. All right?

That's it.

Yeah, that's the way,
yeah. Keep moving it.

Ah, I can't believe I'm actually
painting with Sam Auerbach.

Keep stroking.

W-what are you doing?

I told you, keep stroking.

Um... oh! Oh my god. Oh my
god, I'm so sorry, I'm...

I think you should know, I'm...

I'm happily married.

Yeah. Who's the lucky guy?

He's not a guy. He's a woman.

All the better.

Call her. We'll have a three-way.

Ow!

Ow, by dose!

You're bleeding.

No, no, no, no, no. It's just...
just a little riata red number 9.

Oh, you really must be a dyke
with a right hook like that.

You are the most repellent
man i've ever met,

even if you are a genius.

Hey.

What did you say the
name of that deli is again?

Vic's pots and pans have
moved more than I have.

First to Ted's, then your
mom's, now here.

She said she wanted all of it out of the
house before she could count to 10.

"That includes every
fucking teaspoon."

It's scary how well you do her.

I just wish they'd kiss
and make up already.

Uh, I know what you mean.

There's nothing more tedious
than those interminable feuds.

Uncle vic?

So what should we do with this?

Well, I'd put it away, but I
don't know where he wants it.

Then I guess we'd better
wake him up and ask him.

Uncle Vic, your movers are here.

With everything from Debbie's
kitchen except the sink.

Uncle Vic?

Uncle Vic?

Uncle Vic...

Two pink plate specials,

pork chop with mashed potatoes,

chicken fried steak, no vegetables.

But I changed for you, sweetheart.
So eat all your broccoli.

Where the hell is the pot pie? Did
you have to go kill a chicken?

Ma?

It's coming. It's coming.

I can't talk to you now, Michael.

It's important.

Can't you see my hands are full?

Betty's out sick, I'm
working two stations.

Ma, please.

Here you go, honey. Sorry.

I need the check please.

And I'll be right with you.

Deb, the pot pie's up

...growling for meat today.

Ma, will you put the
goddamn tray down?

What is so important that can't wait?

Come sit down.

I don't have time to sit down,
Michael. Just tell me. What?

It's Uncle Vic.

What about him?

Did he have a shit fit when you showed
up with all those pots and pans?

Well, I hope so, that son of a bitch.

Ma...

What?

Is Debbie not working today?

Uncle Vic is gone.

He passed away.

What the hell are you talking about?

We took the stuff over to him.

He was there...

in front of the tv.

I'm sorry, ma.

I called Rodney.

And the paramedics came, but...

I've gotta get my food.

It's okay, ma.

It'll wait.

You into football?

I hate football.

Then why are you watching it?

So some hot guy will come over
and ask me if I'm into football.

I'm Justin.

Shane.

I saw you at Babylon
the other night.

Oh?

Yeah.

You were cruising
the hell out of me,

then just disappeared.

Um... one of those emergencies.
Couldn't be helped.

Well, lucky for us,
I found you again.

You Pittsburgh guys
sure are friendly.

It's a small town with a big heart.

You've been here long?

All of a week.

Still living out of boxes.

Why don't I help you unpack?

Why don't you?

Hold it.

Say, aren't you the
guy from the gym?

Yeah, the one with
the bad case of crabs.

Fortunately, that's cleared up.

It's too late. I won.

You can book our flight tomorrow.

Nobody's going anywhere.

Bet's off.

Vic's dead.

Oh... that is really
low, even for you.

It's true.

Ma, you want to go
upstairs and lie down?

Ma?

Can I get anyone anything?

How about some tea, Deb?

Rodney?

No, thanks.

Deb, I'm so sorry.

Thank you, Sunshine.

What the fuck happened?

Uh, his heart.

The doctor said his cholesterol was
sky-high from the meds he was taking.

No warning. Nothing.

I thought the meds were
supposed to keep you alive,

not kill you.

It doesn't always work that way.

I thought we'd have
more time than this.

You guys should've been
together a lot longer.

It's tragic.

Hamlet's tragic.

Platform shoes are tragic.

Vic was on his deathbed
four years ago.

All this was gravy.

He knew that.

What did you say?

Going this way.

Could've been a lot worse.

If you ask me, he was fucking lucky.

Nobody fucking asked you.

And who the fuck are you to decide
how long he should've lived?

Ah, the truth hurts.

Get this shithead out of my house.

Brian.

Wait up.

She's upset. Just tell
her you're sorry.

There's only one problem:

I'm not.

We just heard.

How's Debbie?

Nothing can keep a
good woman down.

Are you leaving?

They ran out of ice.

Brian? Did something happen?

Just go back in. We'll
be there in a minute.

Not me.

Where are you going?

We have a bet, remember?

I can't believe you're thinking
about sex at a time like this.

"At a time like this" is exactly when
you should be thinking about it,

before you can't.

Here you are.

Just taking a breather.

How are you holding up?

I'm not thinking about
me right now.

I don't think ma knows
what hit her.

Yeah.

What brian said sure didn't help.

Insensitive prick.

Well, the funny thing is,

Vic would probably
have agreed with him.

When he came back,

everybody thought he had a
couple months to live, tops.

You should've seen
what he looked like.

Not a pretty picture, I'm sure.

So whatever time he got

was a gift.

He was a lot luckier than most.

That may be true, but...

it wasn't brian's place
to shrug off his death,

especially to your mom.

He shrugs everything
off. It's who he is.

And you defend him.
It's who you are.

Look, I don't need to be told
how to respond or what to feel.

Certainly not by you. So...

if that's why you
came up here, then...

It's not.

I came to offer my
unconditional love and support.

And to let you know,

if there's anything I can do...

There is.

You can put everything else aside,

because right now, I
don't give a shit about...

that director, whatever his name is.

All I care about is helping
my mom get through this.

I just hope I can.

Did I wake you?

Uh, no.

No.

Come on in.

Okay, you should know, first
off I-I never wear this.

But, uh, tomorrow's
laundry day. So, uh...

It's okay. You look stunning.

So you, uh...

Just come from a meeting?

I did.

And who did you rescue tonight?

Actually, um...

me.

It was my turn to speak and, uh...

and basically what I said

was even though I've been
clean for over two years

and followed the programs, tried
to be a... a good counsellor...

Better than good. The best.

I still feel as though I've failed.

That's not true.

I-it is true. I...

I failed to make proper
amends to the one person

that I should've made
them to a long time ago.

Well, if you'd like
to write a letter,

I have plenty of stationery.

I don't want to write a letter.

What I want to do...

is this.

You know, maybe I should stay.

No, no. You go home
with Hunter and Ben.

Get some rest. I'm
here. Don't worry.

Bye.

Bye.

Everybody's gone.

Thank god.

I couldn't handle one more
hug or teary goodbye.

They understand.

Brought you my Aunt Lulah's
secret sleep potion,

warm milk and honey.

Guaranteed to soothe the nerves
and send you off to dreamland.

Well, that and half a Xanax.

Keep the pill.

Sure?

It'll help calm you.

Calm me?

How can I be calm?

After the way I talked to him.

I said I didn't care if
I ever saw him again.

My last words to him...

were "fuck you".

You two were always fighting.

And we always made up.

But not this time.

Like that?

Yeah.

I always like winning a bet.

You've got a great cock.

It's the first time anyone's
ever said that to me.

Thanks.

Although there is something
I'd like to talk to you about.

Why don't you give me a call?

Hmm. Sorry, I... don't do encores.

I'm a doctor.

What you want to do? Get
paid to probe my prostate?

I just thought you should know
you've got a lump on your left testicle.

If I were you, I'd have
it checked out.

The sooner the better.

Moo!