Queer Eye (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Below Average Joe - full transcript
A subdued stand-up comic who lacks self-confidence after a major weight loss is swimming in big, baggy clothes. And he still lives with his parents.
- What have we got, Jonathan?
- Okay, we're gonna go see a Joe Gallois.
Nominated by his friend Ian
and brother, Paul.
He lives in his childhood bedroom
at his parents'.
- A 33-year-old man living at his parents'?
- How are you getting laid?
My name's Joe Gallois,
I'm 33 years old,
I live right outside Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm a stand-up comedian.
And on top of it, that bedroom
is a mix of a comic-book store
and a sports-memorabilia store.
- You're not getting laid.
- What every woman wants to see.
Wonder how his parents feel
about him being in the house.
I'd say not that good.
Joe is interesting. Of the kids,
he was the quietest, but the funnier one.
He, quote, "works" as a stand-up comedian,
but he's "rarely paid."
- Joe's got a show at the end of the week,
- Rarely.
which is his opportunity
to debut a new look
and get him out of his parents' house
and into a lady's bed.
Joe and Paul started comedy
around the same time,
but Paul's the more "successful" one.
- Oh, sibling rivalry never works out well.
- How close is his bedroom
- to your parents' bedroom?
- Next door.
- Birth control.
- Yes, he's safe from getting pregnant.
Yeah.
I'm nominating Joe, because
he is a little bit of a late-starter,
getting out of his parents' house,
and he's sort of an underdog.
His nominator says
he recently lost 115 pounds.
- One-one-five, yes.
- He's on a good path.
- That means there's... A motivation.
- There's a will.
His culinary skills are limited
to the microwave, Antoni.
- Love a good microwave meal.
- Yes.
If he's not working, he's living at home,
why doesn't he cook?
- Right?
- He's busy being depressed.
- I think we're gonna learn... Yeah.
- You took it real low.
I know, that made us all real sad.
- We're making a lot of assumptions.
- I apologized to the viewers. It's fine.
All right, guys, let's go.
- Watch out, it's steep.
- Yes, yes.
- Hello?
- It's the Fab 5.
- Hello, hello.
- We're getting wet.
Hey. How are you doing?
How are you doing?
- We're looking for Joe. Where's his room?
- Upstairs.
- Safe to go there?
- Go ahead.
Joey.
- What's going on?
- How's it going?
Hey, I'm Bobby.
Nice to meet you. Give me a hug.
Oh, my gosh.
A 12-year-old lives here.
Hi, you've got a look of fear.
Don't be scared. Nice to meet you.
This room is a mess.
What's going on here?
When's the last time you changed these?
When did your mom
change these sheets?
What year was that? I don't remember.
There's stuff you haven't parted with.
Exactly.
I can't get over this dust.
It's outrageous.
How are you?
We've just bombarded your house.
- You're blown away.
- A little overwhelmed. Yeah.
Everything about Joe, from the hair
to the way he's standing,
like a deer in headlights who was like:
What is going on here?
You can just tell he's not
as confident as he should be.
We're safe, this is what we do.
We wrestle.
This is what we do.
You sound like a little girl, Tan.
What's going on? These do not look
like they fit you anymore.
- Uh, they're a little big. I'm an XL.
- Not anymore.
- Tell us about your weight.
- I lost 115 pounds.
You're gorgeous. Yes.
- I kept going to the gym every day.
- Nice.
Eating better and being active.
That chest is inviting me
to lay my head on it.
Inviting me to lay my head.
- Not while wearing this sweater.
- This is a Bob Saget classic.
- This is double XL. We could fit two here.
- What's with all the VHS tapes?
There's a VCR here. I never parted
with them yet. I just never...
Tan.
Not in the closet again.
You were there too long.
- Oh, my God, no.
- How does that work?
You almost destroyed Tan.
Not the moneymaker.
- I love a good cheese hat.
- It's stinky. When you were 10, 12,
was that your favorite time?
Everything's from that era.
I never got rid of the stuff,
but, yeah, I enjoyed my childhood.
Joey's really stuck in time.
The room of a 12-year-old.
How much time do you spend
on a grooming moment?
- Um... About five minutes.
- You will do five?
I'll shave what I need to shave
to clean this up.
Are you, like, scared
of owning your sexiness sometimes?
I guess so. I'm not used to the idea.
- 'Cause you don't believe it yet?
- Yeah, I don't see myself as that.
- Yeah. You're gonna.
- I'm waiting.
Sexy time.
You're giving me Patrick Dempsey,
take-your-top-off,
hold-me-till-the-pain-goes away.
Like, "I will change your tire,
I will pay your bills, I will provide."
- I will do none of those things, but yeah.
- You might.
Yes. I got a black light.
I just wanna see how much stuff there is.
You should be wearing gloves.
Maybe he's doing it in the shower.
It's cleaner.
So, I have to ask. I had to find you.
Your son's 33, living next to you.
How do you feel?
Hello. I wanna talk about
these bowling shirts.
What's the fascination?
Like, you've got a lot.
They're something above a T-shirt,
but not formal.
But you're my age,
and honestly, you dress like my dad.
Do you feel cool?
- No. Never, never.
- All right, good. So...
- I know, I know.
- Look at this.
- I love you.
- I know, it hurts my heart a little bit.
There's a certain passivity to Joe
that I don't quite have figured out yet.
He's a comedian,
so you'd expect that he would be lively
- and commanding.
- It's all going on behind a wall.
My biggest issue is, they're so big.
If you're dressing for a larger body,
you can't feel sexy when you're in that.
I know that you've not been as successful
as you wanted to be at comedy.
Use all the tools, like make sure
your hair's good, your outfit,
to make sure
you've done the best you can. Yeah?
He's not 15 anymore,
so he can stay for now.
- I'd like to see him leave.
- How can we help?
I think just boosting him along and,
you know, giving him some more confidence.
- Oh, my God. What is that?
- Also these are, like, way too big now.
There's nothing worse than ending up
on a date and thinking:
- "Ugly underwear."
- What would you do?
I'd be like, "I'm sorry,
I've gotta feed my cat."
- You are not this size.
- That is huge.
No one's been down here in a little bit.
Old product graveyard.
Why haven't you moved out yet?
Doing comedy,
I just haven't had the money.
- How has comedy been working for you?
- Uh, it's fun, I enjoy it.
Well, if your dream and goal
is to be a comedian,
how much time
are you spending on yourself?
Not as much as I should.
I don't know how to enjoy myself.
That's my biggest problem.
I don't know how
in terms of letting loose.
We'll have to get rid of that.
Just do this. It's do the Bernie.
Do the Bernie with me.
- There you go, do the Bernie.
- Yeah.
I was upset when I black-lighted the room,
and I didn't see any bodily fluids.
Maybe it's because his parents' bedroom
is next door.
What I'd like you to do is go next door
and tell me if you can hear any
of the stuff I'll do.
I want it rowdy.
Mom, please don't watch this part.
Just fast-forward.
Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, God.
- And what if I do it back?
You can really hear it, can't you?
Yeah, I think we've solved it.
We solved it.
We could film a scene here.
Yeah, give it, work it.
- What do you mean? Why?
- Yeah, where's my camera?
Let me give you some Nicki Minaj.
Oh, beautiful. Oh, beautiful. Now you need
to pump it, pump it, there you go.
This is the sexiest thing
that's happened in this room.
- Sexiest thing in years.
- It's devastating, 'cause...
- He ain't shagging.
- No.
- No one.
- Hi, Booby.
Hey, what's up?
- We're not talking about your sex life.
- No one is.
Aw.
Remember when Beyoncé did that album
I Am... Sasha Fierce?
Maybe he was giving us I Am, then when
he gets on-stage, we'll see Sasha Fierce.
Where's a space
that you can completely be yourself?
- That room is shared with your parents.
- There's not really one.
Is there a basement? Can we see?
- Yeah, let's go down.
- We're heading to the basement.
Why aren't you here? What would you
think about moving Joe here?
I think this is a good launch pad
to eventually get out.
Don't share a wall
with your parents.
Moving Joe to the basement,
a no-brainer. His own entrance.
I love that.
Two floors away from his parents' bedroom,
which, for a 33-year-old, it's important.
- Yes.
- It'll give him independence.
- Love it.
- It's that baby step,
getting him out of his parents' house
and on his own.
What's your style?
I do a lot of commentary
and also self-deprecating humor.
Example of the self-deprecating humor?
I talk about how hard it is
to pick up women
- when your line is, "Sorry to bother you."
- Oh, yes, yes.
That's not a good line.
You know what would be better? Like...
Wait, no. Never mind, don't listen to me.
I don't know how to pick up women.
You do it with your legs,
not with your back.
- That was funny.
- That's good.
That was hilarious.
Oh, my God, who are you?
- That was good.
- Yeah, there's hope.
My granny used to say,
"Karamo, remember,
shit is the best fertilizer,
because it helps flowers grow."
And that is what I want for Joe,
to realize this shit show he's living in
is actually the tools that we're gonna use
to make him this amazing man and comic.
I don't wanna pull focus from his act, but
I want people to think, "He looks good."
Mojo's the word for him. I don't know
if he's never had it or if he lost it.
Or maybe with the weight loss,
it's a step in gaining that back.
If we can help unmask him,
get him out from hiding behind that beard
and this narrative of, "I live with
my parents. Things didn't work out.
I got my hands in my pockets,
I don't know who I am."
I wanna bust him out. You gotta own it.
Like, be like the straight version
of how I own it. Like:
- Have you ever been to this mall before?
- Never.
Okay, it's awesome.
This store, I think we're
gonna find what you need.
All right.
Joe's style now, quite frankly,
is a lazy style. They're just clothes.
- Where do you normally shop?
- Uh, at Kohl's or Target or Walmart.
Okay.
He's getting on-stage,
and even if his jokes aren't landing,
I wanna make sure his look lands,
his brand lands.
I want you to shop in stores dedicated
for men and for men our age.
We're trying to get you to the point
where people know,
even if we cut off your face...
- They'd know it's me.
- On-stage, we know that's Joe.
So, that's why I'm bringing in
some great shirts.
I want a solid and a print. You can rotate
that through different jeans.
You can wear it with shorts
and look dressed up. Okay, next.
Denim.
Every man's closet
should be dark blue jeans,
a black jean and a mid-wash jean.
Okay, a dark blue, and it's a slim fit.
Not gonna get you into a skinny.
I know it's appropriate for me,
but I'm a big fat homo.
- So, let's get you into a slim fit.
- A slim, okay.
- Ready to try it on?
- Yeah.
Okay, good.
Style is not fashion.
Fashion is not trendy after a season.
I couldn't give a shit about fashion.
Style is dressing the way
that you feel confident,
and what is appropriate for you,
your age, body type.
So, the reason why I've got these colors
together is the blues go nicely together.
I wanna make sure whenever
we're wearing a polo tucked in,
we'll pull it out a bit.
We won't have it too tucked in.
Not sure about the polo. It forms up
against the body, so it's still showing
- the spare tire sort of thing.
- Yeah, okay.
- I love the jacket.
- Good.
An easy change for that.
If you're not loving a polo,
you can put on
a button-down shirt underneath.
- Okay, ready? First things first.
- Yeah.
The thing that'll be difficult for you is
you don't hold weight in your shoulders.
But you do around your midriff.
So, you'll have to get a slightly
bigger size, roll up your sleeves,
and it'll make it look
like the shirt fits you properly.
Because it's the right size,
it's now slimming you.
It's not clinging too much.
- Right.
- And your jean is now going
to make you look taller than you are.
Then you could pop on a layer.
That bomber jacket that you had in school,
we're gonna give you a cooler version.
I can be quarterback of the football team.
- Ha, ha. Did you wanna be quarterback?
- I could throw.
They were the cool kids, right?
- Do you feel cool?
- Yeah, I feel cooler.
It just makes a huge difference.
You look 33,
and we're starting to create a brand
where it's cool, it's young.
Now that we've tried on things,
I've got questions for you.
Tell me about, what was the thing
that motivated you to lose the weight?
Um... It was one of those
now-or-never points.
If I don't lose the weight now,
as I get older, it'll be harder,
- and I just won't do it.
- When you look at yourself
dressed this way differently,
how does it feel?
I should've been doing this.
What was I waiting for?
When I see this, I think,
"He's a well-dressed man."
Keep it simple like this, classic.
This isn't going out of style
anytime soon.
It's making sure you look great,
but it's not a distraction.
Let's get you changed back
into your regular clothes.
- My civilian clothes.
- Yeah.
- Hey, y'all.
- Hey, brother.
- How are you?
- Good.
- I'm Antoni, nice to meet you.
- Paul.
I look forward to spending time with Joe,
getting to know his brother,
like being a detective.
I refuse to think
that he is this sterile, mojo-less dude.
I refuse.
- Is this fried?
- Fried pickles, smoke wings,
and that's a diner burger
and collard greens.
Mm.
- You started comedy at the same time?
- Yeah, back in 2009.
- 2009, so, it's been about eight years.
- Mm-hm.
People always ask us about whether
or not it creates a rivalry or anything.
- But not really.
- No.
I want him to succeed
as much as I wanna succeed.
Of course.
When you did that improv class
when you were 12 or 13,
they did this scene where it was like,
Jesus the teenage years. He played Jesus.
Offended a lady
whose kid's in the class.
The lady grabs the kid,
who was in the scene...
- Pulled him off-stage.
- The door kept swinging.
It swings back and forth.
You see him there on the wall, praying.
I'm like, "Comedy can get all sorts
of reactions, I want in."
Oh, my God.
Whatever the reaction you get,
it's a way to connect to other people.
Comedy allows you to realize others have
the same thoughts, makes you feel good.
When I'm off-stage, it's easier to talk
to them. The conversation started.
- If I didn't do comedy, I wouldn't talk.
- It makes more sense to me now.
- Tell me about the show this weekend.
- We're on the same show again
- for the first time in forever.
- Must be nice to get back together
- and do something.
- It'll be fun.
There'll be a lot of people.
- Are you both ready for it?
- We'll figure it out.
Joe's very reserved
and seems to keep a lot to himself.
But when we sit next
to someone we're close to,
they notice things about you.
Things you're too shy to admit.
You look like a homeless guy
with some kind of terminal illness.
You wear sweatpants like you're pregnant
and about to watch Dr. Phil.
- They're comfortable.
- Part of that is a fact.
Here's an easy one.
You still live with Mom and Dad.
You have half a tooth.
I do have half a tooth.
Don't ever drink in the shower.
- It's hard to roast your brother.
- Yeah.
- He's so lovable.
- He is a really lovable guy.
Despite the fact he lives in
a sports store mixed with a comics store.
All right.
- How'd it go today with Tan?
- It was good. Tried on pants.
- I didn't split them.
- That's always a good day.
That was my biggest fear. Don't split.
We are redoing a basement.
One thing I'm looking for you is storage,
and clever uses of spaces.
I'm picking out furniture
you'll be able to take with you,
and work in any place.
- Sweet.
- This space here,
they give you the square footage,
430 square feet.
This is a great size space,
and it's only slightly smaller
than the space I'm doing for you.
It feels so much bigger.
What's the vibe you're going for?
- Tell me what you wanna feel.
- That's a big philosophical question.
In terms of having people over, I want
a place that's inviting, a minibar,
a place where people can sit down.
Like a sectional might work.
Oh. You just said sectional and making
cocktails for friends, which is cool.
"I wish I had a place
where I could do this, have girls over,"
which makes me wanna engage with him
to figure out what that's all about.
I wanna do the back wall
full of tall bookcases,
so it draws the eye up
and makes your ceilings look taller.
We are in a basement.
so the ceilings are a bit shorter.
This is a sleeper sofa.
Wanna climb on that?
- Yeah.
- You can get a whole party in it, too.
Get down here.
If we party too much
and we passed out, this works.
So glad I wore deodorant.
- I am, too.
- I'm glad you did. You smell fresh.
- I like this kitchen.
- I love gray.
I'll put a kitchenette in your room.
We'll do lower cabinets,
countertop, a fridge underneath.
A microwave on top.
You'll have everything but the sink.
- This is actually so exciting.
- Kitchen set.
We're gonna stock up on everything here.
For 4.99, you can get the containers
you need for your meal prep.
In California, we use the small ones
for your different type of weed.
So, this is an awesome pot,
because it has a heavy bottom.
Insert joke here.
It tends to be thicker,
so it's not gonna burn as easily.
- That's not a good sound.
- Stay out of the kitchen.
I found smaller cocktail napkins there.
These are super-big for drinks.
Gonna be...
Gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go.
Karamo.
- Don't damage my car.
- Hate these carts.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Wanna hop in?
- This thing's so dirty.
- Where have you been?
- Don't worry about that.
You've been off-road or something.
When's the last time you had a girlfriend?
Uh...
- 2007-ish.
- So, have you dated any girls since then?
I've been on dates, but nothing
consistent. I have no social skills.
I truly believe that Joe has had many
missed opportunities for love,
for his career, but he didn't go after it
because his head was buried in the sand.
I want him to put himself out there.
I went to your Facebook,
because I was gonna friend you,
and your Facebook is horrible.
- Horrible?
- Yes. I also went to YouTube.
- There's nothing on there.
- Unless it's good, I don't put it up.
I have to tell you,
my thing is branding you,
helping you network,
and part of you figuring out
how you brand yourself
is putting yourself out there.
But for me to help you,
I kind of need to see you do that.
So, I called up some people.
- And I got a new audience.
- All right.
And Jonathan's here.
I hate my hair,
but people say they love it.
No, I love it.
Thank you so much.
Here's the thing. My friend, Joe,
who is absolutely gorgeous...
Look at him over there.
He's gorgeous.
He's here to do a set for you.
Give him your full attention
and love for ten minutes. Mr. Joe Gallois.
Yes, yes, yes.
- There you go.
- Yeah, you are so welcome.
If Joe wants to be in comedy,
he needs to command any room.
That's why I brought him here. If you can
command this crowd, you can make it.
A little bit about me, guys,
I lost 110 pounds the past year.
That is true. It's taken over my life.
It's affecting my relationships
with friends.
A friend of mine had a baby,
and I got to go visit.
I asked how much it weighed. My friend
was like, "It came out 7 pounds,
but now it's down to 6.5."
Instead of being concerned,
my first thought was, I said to him:
"Oh, what's its secret?
Is it little baby Pilates?"
Then the baby threw up,
and I was like, "Oh, it's bulimia."
I'm gonna be real. Joe is a funny guy.
But right now,
these jokes are not connecting.
I feel like he needs
a bit more confidence.
And then maybe this crowd
would be feeling him the way I am.
I was easily scared as a kid.
I used to be scared of vampires,
which is stupid, 'cause
there's too many rules for vampires.
And none of them make any sense.
Like, there's a rule where it's like,
vampires don't like garlic,
which sounds like a preference to me.
Vampires are like,
"We don't like garlic, not for us."
This is my favorite. Vampires will die
if you drive a stake through their heart.
Now, I'm no doctor,
but that goes for just about anybody.
Do you need to put that in the rule book?
Is there someone who got stabbed,
who was like: "Oh!
It's okay, I'm not a vampire.
This is fine."
All right, guys, thank you guys so much.
Thank you, American Legion.
- Really good.
- Good job, brother.
- Thank you.
- Good job. Play it.
What did you guys think
of Joe's performance?
You were great.
- Yeah.
- Real life is so funny.
- Hey, can we talk?
- Absolutely.
What did you think of Joe's performance?
I thought it sucked.
- I wasn't expecting that.
- Can't please them all.
- So, the performance wasn't good?
- No.
What didn't you like about it?
- Uh, the delivery.
- I gotta work on that.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Very good.
- Did you think Joe was funny?
- He was hilarious.
Thank you so much.
- I need one of those shirts.
- Thank you.
- Isn't it cute?
- Yeah.
Just enough skin.
- Bye, everybody. See you later.
- Bye.
My only note is, work on your eye contact
when you deliver your joke.
- That's what I was gonna say.
- Your timing was amazing,
the material was good,
but when you look down a lot,
you have that every single time,
it doesn't read.
- You need to be more assertive.
- You gotta own a room.
- It's underlining the self-esteem.
- It's all up in here.
I wanna rip your shirt
and nuzzle in your nook...
- I don't have many left.
- I won't. I love this facey-wacey.
Just get in there, and just give me a...
- My God.
- There we go.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
- He's just so strong.
- Wow, um, that's pretty good.
- Yes. Honey.
That was gorgeous.
So, here we are, come on in.
Mike is an extremely talented barber.
- All right.
- He'll handle your beard,
and the sides and the back of your hair.
I'll tag-team in and do the top.
- Awesome.
- I wanna change the shape of his hair.
There's no finish,
no polish, no pizzazz.
There's no story to be told
other than basic.
Like, he's just giving you
basic, basic, basic.
- Where do you wanna be in a year?
- On the road doing comedy.
- What steps do you need to take?
- I need to reach out to clubs,
- and bookers and stuff.
- Yes.
- Go to all those American Legions.
- An American Legions tour.
That'd be major. I love that story.
The sides are good.
Want me to jump in? Do the beard?
And we'll shave the neck
and do the beard after.
Yes. I love this, like,
hair shop for bros.
We're just a bunch of baby bros
who need to have gorgeous hair, too.
- We all need it.
- Yeah.
Feeling good.
How are you feeling?
Feel good.
You wanna get that beard off?
Yeah, let's do it.
Oh, my God, yes.
This is so cathartic.
I'm not gonna leave you with a mustache,
but do I like it? Yes.
Am I attracted to you?
A hundred percent.
I'll take that towel off
so I can look at you.
Let me see this. Keep your eyes closed.
Okay, like, I don't hate that.
While I want you to feel confident,
it's not completely
- about what you want right now.
- No, exactly.
- But I'm okay with you getting rid of it.
- Yo, yo, yo.
- Hey, girls.
- Hey, baby.
- Hi.
- How are you doing?
Good. Honey. I almost left him with
a Fred Mercury 'stache, but we didn't.
- Hold on. I'm already feeling this look.
- It's like Bambi being born.
Okay, so, here we go, it's happening.
And a-three, and a-two, and a-one.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
- Yeah, I like it. That looks good.
- It looks so good.
- Do you see the shape of your face?
- Yeah. I see the jawline and everything.
- Yeah, you do.
- I see both chins now.
No, don't say that.
This is your look.
Your face looks slender, you look great.
You look masculine, sexy, strong.
Before, one out of a hundred ladies
would wanna get with it,
and now, like, 98 out of a hundred
wanna get with it.
- But those two are gonna bother me.
- Exactly.
Thank you, after you, after you,
gentlemen, gentlemen.
Okay, so, you've got
your gorgeous surprise.
When we were together,
we talked about the fact
that you need to brand yourself
and know how to network.
But part of branding,
with this brand-new way you're looking,
we need to get some images
that show how you look.
- So, we have a photo shoot set up for you.
- Right, all right, yeah.
- You're about to be a model.
- This look on you. Don't be nervous.
Don't be nervous.
This is Philippe, this is Bryan.
Bryan, I'm Joe.
And so, they are photographers,
they have their own studios, B&P Studios,
which are amazing,
and they'll take great shots for you
that you can start using
to brand yourself.
People don't need to see the old you.
- No, they need to see this me.
- This guy, got it.
- Need to see all this.
- Yeah.
You can't be in this,
so we're gonna change.
So, I've got a look for you.
This is gonna be amazing.
I'm gonna teach him how to pose.
- You're good at that.
- So are you.
You're good at it in a boyish way.
Yeah, I'm more like:
Yeah, right, exactly, but I go like:
See if I can do your way and you can
do my way. You can butch it up.
- No, you can't purse the lips.
- Okay.
- If you butch it up, you gotta...
- Just really...
It's just relaxed.
Okay, okay, okay.
So, you see my face?
- It's totally relaxed. So, it's like...
- There you go, straight up.
Guys, look at our new Joe.
Look how cute he looks.
Wow!
- Give me a twirl.
- Work it.
- Walk up with that confidence.
- There you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When we're talking about your brand,
we think about the comedy you're doing.
It's self-deprecating.
We figure out a way you can emote that,
so the audience can see that guy.
- Okay?
- I have a problem smiling, though.
- Loosen it up, be you.
- Yeah.
Every time you hear it click, don't
move your whole body. Just a little.
- All right.
- And just relax.
Let go, relax.
It's just you and me, they're not here.
Take your time to find your brand.
- I don't know what it's going to be.
- Okay.
Yeah.
- Like...
- There we go, see?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Like, "Did I fart in her face again?"
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- Oh, yes, that's good.
Awesome.
Do something like this.
I still want self-deprecating ones.
Yeah, that's it, and then be silly.
- You made it your own.
- That's exactly what I wanted.
That look on your face,
don't change it, it is cute.
Yes, there you go.
You're just like owning
your space and stuff.
Yes, work those glasses.
- Can we see?
- Of course.
- Oh, that's great.
- That's cute.
- Oh, my dear.
- All these are phenomenal.
- That's you.
- What a transformation, honey.
- You look sexy, confident.
- I'm amazed that I pulled that off.
- It's what we're saying.
- Two days ago, I wouldn't have.
You could have.
It's just you didn't know it.
- All right, yeah.
- I'm gonna be real.
I'm surprised that Joe had it in him,
because he's a little corny.
But my man Joe, he's feeling it.
That's what it's about.
Now you have something visual,
so you can see what we see,
- and believe in yourself.
- Absolutely.
What are you expecting
when you go in, Joe?
- Water slides and hot tubs...
- Good. That's what we've got.
Oh, my God, there's no window.
- You thought this was a window?
- For a moment.
LED lights
make it look like a real window.
So, you don't feel as much
like you're in a basement.
- Let's take your glasses.
- Take these off.
- Here we go.
- Yeah, oh, my God!
- It's gorgeous!
- It's your new space.
Holy shit.
- Bobby, it looks so great.
- You like it?
Oh, my God.
Look at him taking it all in.
This is so amazing.
- So, what do you think?
- I'm speechless, and I talk for a living.
Yeah, yeah.
Most bachelor pads are ugly,
like leather sofas and hand-me-down stuff.
But Joe's is really cool, and I wanted it
to reflect his comedic personality.
I'm like living on a set.
Can you imagine all the cute girls
you'll connect with deeply?
You don't need to bring them
through the house.
You got your own entrance.
Gave you empty cabinets,
to store your memorabilia and stuff.
And we wanna get you out of these glasses.
- Get this sexy set of contacts.
- Show those eyes.
We noticed this at the shoot.
As soon as you got your hair done,
as soon as we opened up your face,
you started to really make eye contact.
Do it more, show confidence.
We're good.
So much better.
Let's wear these more often.
He's framed your face so beautifully.
Show it off.
Come take a seat with me.
I went to your social media,
and I didn't see one place
that you call yourself a comedian.
Tell the audience what you're about.
Otherwise, you won't go to the level
that I know you can go to.
So, one of the things I did for you is,
I built you a website.
- Are you serious?
- I'm serious.
- Do you like?
- Yeah. Wow.
- So, I put together a new hashtag for you.
- Okay.
And this is part of your new brand.
Below Average Joe.
It made you laugh, see? It's funny.
This is the Joe that is gonna walk through
this world confident, sexy, strong.
- Okay.
- But on-stage, you're gonna brand yourself
with this guy who is self-deprecating,
is still figuring out life.
As we walked through
the American Legion,
they all said that's what they related to.
- Look how sexy you are in these photos.
- I know.
Let me see it.
Honey, she's arrived.
Hey, you look so good.
They've had their time,
now it's my time. Ready for this?
Okay. So, we've kept it simple,
'cause I've put all
of your buttoned-up shirts on one side,
- along with your blazers.
- Okay.
That'll make it easy to make your suit.
Everything goes from dark to light.
You can wear any of this in the day,
and then just throw on a jacket
or one of the shirts to layer up on-stage,
looks like you made an effort
when you wore it all day.
First, foundations. Underwear.
Burn your old underwear.
I'll throw it away,
it'll never see the light of day.
You'll wear this for us, yeah?
And I want to get you in your first look.
- Ready?
- Yeah.
- Nervous?
- No.
It's gonna be great, I promise.
Come on through.
- Boys, you ready for it?
- We are born ready.
When you come out,
I want you to give us, like, a walk.
Spin it around.
- That jacket.
- Yeah, yes.
Yes.
- I need more Naomi, less North Korea.
- Yeah.
You are killing it.
Come on, swag.
Yeah, what's it look like
with the jacket off?
It's like a Mark Ruffalo thing going on.
- Our boy looks good?
- He looks amazing.
- I think he's ready.
- Good.
Do me a favor, will you join us?
Come on the bed.
Get in the middle, lay down,
lay down on your new bed.
We didn't get to talk about it
'cause there was heterosexuals
cutting your hair yesterday,
but I sense there was something
that happened
that like I feel like you have
the beginning of healing going on.
I can see it in your body language.
When you stand next to me now,
dressed the way you are,
hair the way it is,
glasses off,
you carry yourself differently
than you did when we first met you.
The fact that we have achieved that
is fantastic, and that's what we wanted.
I'm feeling overwhelmed.
It's just incredible.
What you did
knocked me out of the park.
My expectations were like here,
and the results are like up here.
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
You got the comedy show.
Tell us how you feel.
Excited. I haven't performed
with my brother in a while.
That's fine,
but you'll steal the limelight.
They're not gonna know he's there.
Absolutely.
- Good.
- Yeah.
- The time has come that we must leave you.
- You gotta go.
- I got a show to get ready for.
- We are gonna miss you.
Yeah.
Good luck tonight, my man.
- See you.
- Good luck.
- Enjoy the space.
- You're like a pharaoh.
Stay in bed,
your minions are coming to hug you.
Good luck tonight, kiddo.
- Bye, Joe.
- Bye, Joe.
- Good luck tonight.
- Love you.
I'm excited about stepping out on that
stage for the first time as the new me.
I have a lot of faith.
I think he'll do well at his set.
The old Joe doesn't compare.
The new Joe is light years ahead
of where the old Joe was.
I feel like it's my own kid,
and I'm just like, "You can do it."
So, Joe Gallois.
- There you go.
- Aw.
- We've made it easy, Joe.
- What do you think he'll pick out?
I'm hoping it's gonna be a simple shirt
and some jeans, and a nice jacket.
- He's doing a stand-up.
- It's gotta be appropriate for it.
No, that's the exact thing
you have on already.
He's thinking it might be a woman,
so he's making it out like...
Yeah, what is he doing?
I'd love if he mounted the outfit.
No, focus on the clothes. On the clothes.
He's going after the blue pieces.
Yeah, he is. I said build up to color,
but I meant, like, tonight.
I forgot how truly flat he can be,
but I love him anyway.
- Yeah.
- Listen. Just because he's quiet
in real life doesn't mean
he won't pop on-stage.
I want him to give me some dynamicness.
He's putting on a jacket
that's a pop of color, I'm happy.
- He's making an effort.
- He looks good with it.
He should go for a black jean or gray,
we're almost there.
Like, this is reality television.
This is how terribly wrong it can go.
It's gonna be a good show.
It's gonna be good.
Yes, crowd.
Yes. Can one of these ladies
be a lady he can get?
Maybe.
Have you seen everybody else's fashion?
He's a step above everybody else.
Oh, yeah.
It's the guys who nominated him,
his brother and Ian.
Stand up, let's see you.
- Damn.
- Look at that jacket, nice.
- Yeah. What's it looking like out there?
- The crowd's packed.
His body language shifted
when his brother got there.
Super-proud of you.
- Thank you.
- You feel good? Give me a hug.
- Oh! One-handed hug?
- I know, that was an awkward hug.
But they're not touchy-feely brothers.
- I am with my brothers.
- But they're just not like that.
- Man, you look really good.
- Thank you.
Aw.
- Can't get over this.
- Yeah.
- Yup.
- His brother seems supportive.
Thank you guys for coming out tonight.
Come on, y'all, pump it up.
- Please be funny.
- He's gonna be great.
Please bless him. He's funny.
I'm, like, sweaty-palmed nervous for him.
It is my honor to bring up
my brother to this stage.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Joe Gallois 2.0!
All right, all right, guys.
Thank you so much for coming.
I've had quite a week.
I had five gay guys come over to my house.
Not usually. I had five gay guys
come into my house this week.
Or they came to my parents' house.
Made me over head to toe.
And, guys, I've upgraded.
I'm now in the basement.
What?
That's actually really good.
For the longest time,
I've been jobless, loveless and penniless.
I'm still most of those things, but my
parents have been there the whole time.
They wanna be proud of me,
but I've given them nothing.
They would find anything,
'cause they're good parents.
Like, I told my dad my car
passed its emissions test. He was elated.
He was like, "That's a 2001 Camry.
That's not a given. Good job."
A little bit about me.
This year, I've lost 110 pounds.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I had to lose the weight.
I was the biggest I ever was.
I hit rock bottom in terms of my weight,
and I was worried
I was gonna end up on a reality show.
What I was worried about
was ending up on the show Hoarders.
And the show
was just gonna be about my body.
The host comes in, starts grabbing me,
"What do you need these for?"
I'm like, "I don't know, the winter?
I'm storing. I'm storing nuts."
Guys, that's my time.
Thank you so much, thank you.
Been one crazy week.
Thank you guys so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
- Yes!
- Yeah!
Hey.
Thank you. Thank you for coming.
- Oh, who's this lady?
- Who are you with the orange nails?
Oh, he's holding on, too.
Yeah, I gotta be fast.
What?
- My man, my man got his swag.
- Did he mention a girl to anybody?
- No, he didn't mention a girl.
- Who is she?
- You checking around?
- Yes.
Okay, I'll be back.
- Who is that chick?
- He said, "coming back."
- Thank you so much. This is all you guys.
- You were great, too.
- Thank you.
- Nice little set, good job.
- They gave me business cards.
- That's what you do, pass them out.
- Peter, have a business card.
- Your jacket is incredible.
- Yeah.
- It's great.
- That is incredible.
- Shout-out for the jacket.
That was a whole new everything.
And I've watched you for years.
I didn't feel like you were
holding anything in.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Yes, he seems confident.
You made eye contact,
you were seamless, you were confident.
- Yeah.
- You seriously were incredible.
This was what we were teaching him.
Eye contact, look at people,
body language.
Be confident. You're the man, Joe.
I'm really glad you came.
This has been the craziest week,
and, like, I'm so glad
you were texting me back.
Uh-oh.
- She's touching him.
- Oh, God.
I know we've been hanging out a lot...
Are we actually going out?
Can we go out on a real date?
- Let's go on a real date.
- Yes!
Yeah!
He just got a date!
He just got a date!
He just got a date!
Yes! He got a date!
We have to do a big cheers.
- To Below Average Joe.
- To Joe.
To Below Average Joe!
Yeah, it's so weird, isn't it?
- What was the best part?
- What?
This. This is the best part.
If you've got too much jelly in the belly,
what you can do is layer up,
make that eye dance,
and then you'll distract
from your weak spot.
Mean.
- You're the one who ate the donut.
- Mean.
- Okay, we're gonna go see a Joe Gallois.
Nominated by his friend Ian
and brother, Paul.
He lives in his childhood bedroom
at his parents'.
- A 33-year-old man living at his parents'?
- How are you getting laid?
My name's Joe Gallois,
I'm 33 years old,
I live right outside Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm a stand-up comedian.
And on top of it, that bedroom
is a mix of a comic-book store
and a sports-memorabilia store.
- You're not getting laid.
- What every woman wants to see.
Wonder how his parents feel
about him being in the house.
I'd say not that good.
Joe is interesting. Of the kids,
he was the quietest, but the funnier one.
He, quote, "works" as a stand-up comedian,
but he's "rarely paid."
- Joe's got a show at the end of the week,
- Rarely.
which is his opportunity
to debut a new look
and get him out of his parents' house
and into a lady's bed.
Joe and Paul started comedy
around the same time,
but Paul's the more "successful" one.
- Oh, sibling rivalry never works out well.
- How close is his bedroom
- to your parents' bedroom?
- Next door.
- Birth control.
- Yes, he's safe from getting pregnant.
Yeah.
I'm nominating Joe, because
he is a little bit of a late-starter,
getting out of his parents' house,
and he's sort of an underdog.
His nominator says
he recently lost 115 pounds.
- One-one-five, yes.
- He's on a good path.
- That means there's... A motivation.
- There's a will.
His culinary skills are limited
to the microwave, Antoni.
- Love a good microwave meal.
- Yes.
If he's not working, he's living at home,
why doesn't he cook?
- Right?
- He's busy being depressed.
- I think we're gonna learn... Yeah.
- You took it real low.
I know, that made us all real sad.
- We're making a lot of assumptions.
- I apologized to the viewers. It's fine.
All right, guys, let's go.
- Watch out, it's steep.
- Yes, yes.
- Hello?
- It's the Fab 5.
- Hello, hello.
- We're getting wet.
Hey. How are you doing?
How are you doing?
- We're looking for Joe. Where's his room?
- Upstairs.
- Safe to go there?
- Go ahead.
Joey.
- What's going on?
- How's it going?
Hey, I'm Bobby.
Nice to meet you. Give me a hug.
Oh, my gosh.
A 12-year-old lives here.
Hi, you've got a look of fear.
Don't be scared. Nice to meet you.
This room is a mess.
What's going on here?
When's the last time you changed these?
When did your mom
change these sheets?
What year was that? I don't remember.
There's stuff you haven't parted with.
Exactly.
I can't get over this dust.
It's outrageous.
How are you?
We've just bombarded your house.
- You're blown away.
- A little overwhelmed. Yeah.
Everything about Joe, from the hair
to the way he's standing,
like a deer in headlights who was like:
What is going on here?
You can just tell he's not
as confident as he should be.
We're safe, this is what we do.
We wrestle.
This is what we do.
You sound like a little girl, Tan.
What's going on? These do not look
like they fit you anymore.
- Uh, they're a little big. I'm an XL.
- Not anymore.
- Tell us about your weight.
- I lost 115 pounds.
You're gorgeous. Yes.
- I kept going to the gym every day.
- Nice.
Eating better and being active.
That chest is inviting me
to lay my head on it.
Inviting me to lay my head.
- Not while wearing this sweater.
- This is a Bob Saget classic.
- This is double XL. We could fit two here.
- What's with all the VHS tapes?
There's a VCR here. I never parted
with them yet. I just never...
Tan.
Not in the closet again.
You were there too long.
- Oh, my God, no.
- How does that work?
You almost destroyed Tan.
Not the moneymaker.
- I love a good cheese hat.
- It's stinky. When you were 10, 12,
was that your favorite time?
Everything's from that era.
I never got rid of the stuff,
but, yeah, I enjoyed my childhood.
Joey's really stuck in time.
The room of a 12-year-old.
How much time do you spend
on a grooming moment?
- Um... About five minutes.
- You will do five?
I'll shave what I need to shave
to clean this up.
Are you, like, scared
of owning your sexiness sometimes?
I guess so. I'm not used to the idea.
- 'Cause you don't believe it yet?
- Yeah, I don't see myself as that.
- Yeah. You're gonna.
- I'm waiting.
Sexy time.
You're giving me Patrick Dempsey,
take-your-top-off,
hold-me-till-the-pain-goes away.
Like, "I will change your tire,
I will pay your bills, I will provide."
- I will do none of those things, but yeah.
- You might.
Yes. I got a black light.
I just wanna see how much stuff there is.
You should be wearing gloves.
Maybe he's doing it in the shower.
It's cleaner.
So, I have to ask. I had to find you.
Your son's 33, living next to you.
How do you feel?
Hello. I wanna talk about
these bowling shirts.
What's the fascination?
Like, you've got a lot.
They're something above a T-shirt,
but not formal.
But you're my age,
and honestly, you dress like my dad.
Do you feel cool?
- No. Never, never.
- All right, good. So...
- I know, I know.
- Look at this.
- I love you.
- I know, it hurts my heart a little bit.
There's a certain passivity to Joe
that I don't quite have figured out yet.
He's a comedian,
so you'd expect that he would be lively
- and commanding.
- It's all going on behind a wall.
My biggest issue is, they're so big.
If you're dressing for a larger body,
you can't feel sexy when you're in that.
I know that you've not been as successful
as you wanted to be at comedy.
Use all the tools, like make sure
your hair's good, your outfit,
to make sure
you've done the best you can. Yeah?
He's not 15 anymore,
so he can stay for now.
- I'd like to see him leave.
- How can we help?
I think just boosting him along and,
you know, giving him some more confidence.
- Oh, my God. What is that?
- Also these are, like, way too big now.
There's nothing worse than ending up
on a date and thinking:
- "Ugly underwear."
- What would you do?
I'd be like, "I'm sorry,
I've gotta feed my cat."
- You are not this size.
- That is huge.
No one's been down here in a little bit.
Old product graveyard.
Why haven't you moved out yet?
Doing comedy,
I just haven't had the money.
- How has comedy been working for you?
- Uh, it's fun, I enjoy it.
Well, if your dream and goal
is to be a comedian,
how much time
are you spending on yourself?
Not as much as I should.
I don't know how to enjoy myself.
That's my biggest problem.
I don't know how
in terms of letting loose.
We'll have to get rid of that.
Just do this. It's do the Bernie.
Do the Bernie with me.
- There you go, do the Bernie.
- Yeah.
I was upset when I black-lighted the room,
and I didn't see any bodily fluids.
Maybe it's because his parents' bedroom
is next door.
What I'd like you to do is go next door
and tell me if you can hear any
of the stuff I'll do.
I want it rowdy.
Mom, please don't watch this part.
Just fast-forward.
Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, God.
- And what if I do it back?
You can really hear it, can't you?
Yeah, I think we've solved it.
We solved it.
We could film a scene here.
Yeah, give it, work it.
- What do you mean? Why?
- Yeah, where's my camera?
Let me give you some Nicki Minaj.
Oh, beautiful. Oh, beautiful. Now you need
to pump it, pump it, there you go.
This is the sexiest thing
that's happened in this room.
- Sexiest thing in years.
- It's devastating, 'cause...
- He ain't shagging.
- No.
- No one.
- Hi, Booby.
Hey, what's up?
- We're not talking about your sex life.
- No one is.
Aw.
Remember when Beyoncé did that album
I Am... Sasha Fierce?
Maybe he was giving us I Am, then when
he gets on-stage, we'll see Sasha Fierce.
Where's a space
that you can completely be yourself?
- That room is shared with your parents.
- There's not really one.
Is there a basement? Can we see?
- Yeah, let's go down.
- We're heading to the basement.
Why aren't you here? What would you
think about moving Joe here?
I think this is a good launch pad
to eventually get out.
Don't share a wall
with your parents.
Moving Joe to the basement,
a no-brainer. His own entrance.
I love that.
Two floors away from his parents' bedroom,
which, for a 33-year-old, it's important.
- Yes.
- It'll give him independence.
- Love it.
- It's that baby step,
getting him out of his parents' house
and on his own.
What's your style?
I do a lot of commentary
and also self-deprecating humor.
Example of the self-deprecating humor?
I talk about how hard it is
to pick up women
- when your line is, "Sorry to bother you."
- Oh, yes, yes.
That's not a good line.
You know what would be better? Like...
Wait, no. Never mind, don't listen to me.
I don't know how to pick up women.
You do it with your legs,
not with your back.
- That was funny.
- That's good.
That was hilarious.
Oh, my God, who are you?
- That was good.
- Yeah, there's hope.
My granny used to say,
"Karamo, remember,
shit is the best fertilizer,
because it helps flowers grow."
And that is what I want for Joe,
to realize this shit show he's living in
is actually the tools that we're gonna use
to make him this amazing man and comic.
I don't wanna pull focus from his act, but
I want people to think, "He looks good."
Mojo's the word for him. I don't know
if he's never had it or if he lost it.
Or maybe with the weight loss,
it's a step in gaining that back.
If we can help unmask him,
get him out from hiding behind that beard
and this narrative of, "I live with
my parents. Things didn't work out.
I got my hands in my pockets,
I don't know who I am."
I wanna bust him out. You gotta own it.
Like, be like the straight version
of how I own it. Like:
- Have you ever been to this mall before?
- Never.
Okay, it's awesome.
This store, I think we're
gonna find what you need.
All right.
Joe's style now, quite frankly,
is a lazy style. They're just clothes.
- Where do you normally shop?
- Uh, at Kohl's or Target or Walmart.
Okay.
He's getting on-stage,
and even if his jokes aren't landing,
I wanna make sure his look lands,
his brand lands.
I want you to shop in stores dedicated
for men and for men our age.
We're trying to get you to the point
where people know,
even if we cut off your face...
- They'd know it's me.
- On-stage, we know that's Joe.
So, that's why I'm bringing in
some great shirts.
I want a solid and a print. You can rotate
that through different jeans.
You can wear it with shorts
and look dressed up. Okay, next.
Denim.
Every man's closet
should be dark blue jeans,
a black jean and a mid-wash jean.
Okay, a dark blue, and it's a slim fit.
Not gonna get you into a skinny.
I know it's appropriate for me,
but I'm a big fat homo.
- So, let's get you into a slim fit.
- A slim, okay.
- Ready to try it on?
- Yeah.
Okay, good.
Style is not fashion.
Fashion is not trendy after a season.
I couldn't give a shit about fashion.
Style is dressing the way
that you feel confident,
and what is appropriate for you,
your age, body type.
So, the reason why I've got these colors
together is the blues go nicely together.
I wanna make sure whenever
we're wearing a polo tucked in,
we'll pull it out a bit.
We won't have it too tucked in.
Not sure about the polo. It forms up
against the body, so it's still showing
- the spare tire sort of thing.
- Yeah, okay.
- I love the jacket.
- Good.
An easy change for that.
If you're not loving a polo,
you can put on
a button-down shirt underneath.
- Okay, ready? First things first.
- Yeah.
The thing that'll be difficult for you is
you don't hold weight in your shoulders.
But you do around your midriff.
So, you'll have to get a slightly
bigger size, roll up your sleeves,
and it'll make it look
like the shirt fits you properly.
Because it's the right size,
it's now slimming you.
It's not clinging too much.
- Right.
- And your jean is now going
to make you look taller than you are.
Then you could pop on a layer.
That bomber jacket that you had in school,
we're gonna give you a cooler version.
I can be quarterback of the football team.
- Ha, ha. Did you wanna be quarterback?
- I could throw.
They were the cool kids, right?
- Do you feel cool?
- Yeah, I feel cooler.
It just makes a huge difference.
You look 33,
and we're starting to create a brand
where it's cool, it's young.
Now that we've tried on things,
I've got questions for you.
Tell me about, what was the thing
that motivated you to lose the weight?
Um... It was one of those
now-or-never points.
If I don't lose the weight now,
as I get older, it'll be harder,
- and I just won't do it.
- When you look at yourself
dressed this way differently,
how does it feel?
I should've been doing this.
What was I waiting for?
When I see this, I think,
"He's a well-dressed man."
Keep it simple like this, classic.
This isn't going out of style
anytime soon.
It's making sure you look great,
but it's not a distraction.
Let's get you changed back
into your regular clothes.
- My civilian clothes.
- Yeah.
- Hey, y'all.
- Hey, brother.
- How are you?
- Good.
- I'm Antoni, nice to meet you.
- Paul.
I look forward to spending time with Joe,
getting to know his brother,
like being a detective.
I refuse to think
that he is this sterile, mojo-less dude.
I refuse.
- Is this fried?
- Fried pickles, smoke wings,
and that's a diner burger
and collard greens.
Mm.
- You started comedy at the same time?
- Yeah, back in 2009.
- 2009, so, it's been about eight years.
- Mm-hm.
People always ask us about whether
or not it creates a rivalry or anything.
- But not really.
- No.
I want him to succeed
as much as I wanna succeed.
Of course.
When you did that improv class
when you were 12 or 13,
they did this scene where it was like,
Jesus the teenage years. He played Jesus.
Offended a lady
whose kid's in the class.
The lady grabs the kid,
who was in the scene...
- Pulled him off-stage.
- The door kept swinging.
It swings back and forth.
You see him there on the wall, praying.
I'm like, "Comedy can get all sorts
of reactions, I want in."
Oh, my God.
Whatever the reaction you get,
it's a way to connect to other people.
Comedy allows you to realize others have
the same thoughts, makes you feel good.
When I'm off-stage, it's easier to talk
to them. The conversation started.
- If I didn't do comedy, I wouldn't talk.
- It makes more sense to me now.
- Tell me about the show this weekend.
- We're on the same show again
- for the first time in forever.
- Must be nice to get back together
- and do something.
- It'll be fun.
There'll be a lot of people.
- Are you both ready for it?
- We'll figure it out.
Joe's very reserved
and seems to keep a lot to himself.
But when we sit next
to someone we're close to,
they notice things about you.
Things you're too shy to admit.
You look like a homeless guy
with some kind of terminal illness.
You wear sweatpants like you're pregnant
and about to watch Dr. Phil.
- They're comfortable.
- Part of that is a fact.
Here's an easy one.
You still live with Mom and Dad.
You have half a tooth.
I do have half a tooth.
Don't ever drink in the shower.
- It's hard to roast your brother.
- Yeah.
- He's so lovable.
- He is a really lovable guy.
Despite the fact he lives in
a sports store mixed with a comics store.
All right.
- How'd it go today with Tan?
- It was good. Tried on pants.
- I didn't split them.
- That's always a good day.
That was my biggest fear. Don't split.
We are redoing a basement.
One thing I'm looking for you is storage,
and clever uses of spaces.
I'm picking out furniture
you'll be able to take with you,
and work in any place.
- Sweet.
- This space here,
they give you the square footage,
430 square feet.
This is a great size space,
and it's only slightly smaller
than the space I'm doing for you.
It feels so much bigger.
What's the vibe you're going for?
- Tell me what you wanna feel.
- That's a big philosophical question.
In terms of having people over, I want
a place that's inviting, a minibar,
a place where people can sit down.
Like a sectional might work.
Oh. You just said sectional and making
cocktails for friends, which is cool.
"I wish I had a place
where I could do this, have girls over,"
which makes me wanna engage with him
to figure out what that's all about.
I wanna do the back wall
full of tall bookcases,
so it draws the eye up
and makes your ceilings look taller.
We are in a basement.
so the ceilings are a bit shorter.
This is a sleeper sofa.
Wanna climb on that?
- Yeah.
- You can get a whole party in it, too.
Get down here.
If we party too much
and we passed out, this works.
So glad I wore deodorant.
- I am, too.
- I'm glad you did. You smell fresh.
- I like this kitchen.
- I love gray.
I'll put a kitchenette in your room.
We'll do lower cabinets,
countertop, a fridge underneath.
A microwave on top.
You'll have everything but the sink.
- This is actually so exciting.
- Kitchen set.
We're gonna stock up on everything here.
For 4.99, you can get the containers
you need for your meal prep.
In California, we use the small ones
for your different type of weed.
So, this is an awesome pot,
because it has a heavy bottom.
Insert joke here.
It tends to be thicker,
so it's not gonna burn as easily.
- That's not a good sound.
- Stay out of the kitchen.
I found smaller cocktail napkins there.
These are super-big for drinks.
Gonna be...
Gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go.
Karamo.
- Don't damage my car.
- Hate these carts.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Wanna hop in?
- This thing's so dirty.
- Where have you been?
- Don't worry about that.
You've been off-road or something.
When's the last time you had a girlfriend?
Uh...
- 2007-ish.
- So, have you dated any girls since then?
I've been on dates, but nothing
consistent. I have no social skills.
I truly believe that Joe has had many
missed opportunities for love,
for his career, but he didn't go after it
because his head was buried in the sand.
I want him to put himself out there.
I went to your Facebook,
because I was gonna friend you,
and your Facebook is horrible.
- Horrible?
- Yes. I also went to YouTube.
- There's nothing on there.
- Unless it's good, I don't put it up.
I have to tell you,
my thing is branding you,
helping you network,
and part of you figuring out
how you brand yourself
is putting yourself out there.
But for me to help you,
I kind of need to see you do that.
So, I called up some people.
- And I got a new audience.
- All right.
And Jonathan's here.
I hate my hair,
but people say they love it.
No, I love it.
Thank you so much.
Here's the thing. My friend, Joe,
who is absolutely gorgeous...
Look at him over there.
He's gorgeous.
He's here to do a set for you.
Give him your full attention
and love for ten minutes. Mr. Joe Gallois.
Yes, yes, yes.
- There you go.
- Yeah, you are so welcome.
If Joe wants to be in comedy,
he needs to command any room.
That's why I brought him here. If you can
command this crowd, you can make it.
A little bit about me, guys,
I lost 110 pounds the past year.
That is true. It's taken over my life.
It's affecting my relationships
with friends.
A friend of mine had a baby,
and I got to go visit.
I asked how much it weighed. My friend
was like, "It came out 7 pounds,
but now it's down to 6.5."
Instead of being concerned,
my first thought was, I said to him:
"Oh, what's its secret?
Is it little baby Pilates?"
Then the baby threw up,
and I was like, "Oh, it's bulimia."
I'm gonna be real. Joe is a funny guy.
But right now,
these jokes are not connecting.
I feel like he needs
a bit more confidence.
And then maybe this crowd
would be feeling him the way I am.
I was easily scared as a kid.
I used to be scared of vampires,
which is stupid, 'cause
there's too many rules for vampires.
And none of them make any sense.
Like, there's a rule where it's like,
vampires don't like garlic,
which sounds like a preference to me.
Vampires are like,
"We don't like garlic, not for us."
This is my favorite. Vampires will die
if you drive a stake through their heart.
Now, I'm no doctor,
but that goes for just about anybody.
Do you need to put that in the rule book?
Is there someone who got stabbed,
who was like: "Oh!
It's okay, I'm not a vampire.
This is fine."
All right, guys, thank you guys so much.
Thank you, American Legion.
- Really good.
- Good job, brother.
- Thank you.
- Good job. Play it.
What did you guys think
of Joe's performance?
You were great.
- Yeah.
- Real life is so funny.
- Hey, can we talk?
- Absolutely.
What did you think of Joe's performance?
I thought it sucked.
- I wasn't expecting that.
- Can't please them all.
- So, the performance wasn't good?
- No.
What didn't you like about it?
- Uh, the delivery.
- I gotta work on that.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Very good.
- Did you think Joe was funny?
- He was hilarious.
Thank you so much.
- I need one of those shirts.
- Thank you.
- Isn't it cute?
- Yeah.
Just enough skin.
- Bye, everybody. See you later.
- Bye.
My only note is, work on your eye contact
when you deliver your joke.
- That's what I was gonna say.
- Your timing was amazing,
the material was good,
but when you look down a lot,
you have that every single time,
it doesn't read.
- You need to be more assertive.
- You gotta own a room.
- It's underlining the self-esteem.
- It's all up in here.
I wanna rip your shirt
and nuzzle in your nook...
- I don't have many left.
- I won't. I love this facey-wacey.
Just get in there, and just give me a...
- My God.
- There we go.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
- He's just so strong.
- Wow, um, that's pretty good.
- Yes. Honey.
That was gorgeous.
So, here we are, come on in.
Mike is an extremely talented barber.
- All right.
- He'll handle your beard,
and the sides and the back of your hair.
I'll tag-team in and do the top.
- Awesome.
- I wanna change the shape of his hair.
There's no finish,
no polish, no pizzazz.
There's no story to be told
other than basic.
Like, he's just giving you
basic, basic, basic.
- Where do you wanna be in a year?
- On the road doing comedy.
- What steps do you need to take?
- I need to reach out to clubs,
- and bookers and stuff.
- Yes.
- Go to all those American Legions.
- An American Legions tour.
That'd be major. I love that story.
The sides are good.
Want me to jump in? Do the beard?
And we'll shave the neck
and do the beard after.
Yes. I love this, like,
hair shop for bros.
We're just a bunch of baby bros
who need to have gorgeous hair, too.
- We all need it.
- Yeah.
Feeling good.
How are you feeling?
Feel good.
You wanna get that beard off?
Yeah, let's do it.
Oh, my God, yes.
This is so cathartic.
I'm not gonna leave you with a mustache,
but do I like it? Yes.
Am I attracted to you?
A hundred percent.
I'll take that towel off
so I can look at you.
Let me see this. Keep your eyes closed.
Okay, like, I don't hate that.
While I want you to feel confident,
it's not completely
- about what you want right now.
- No, exactly.
- But I'm okay with you getting rid of it.
- Yo, yo, yo.
- Hey, girls.
- Hey, baby.
- Hi.
- How are you doing?
Good. Honey. I almost left him with
a Fred Mercury 'stache, but we didn't.
- Hold on. I'm already feeling this look.
- It's like Bambi being born.
Okay, so, here we go, it's happening.
And a-three, and a-two, and a-one.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
- Yeah, I like it. That looks good.
- It looks so good.
- Do you see the shape of your face?
- Yeah. I see the jawline and everything.
- Yeah, you do.
- I see both chins now.
No, don't say that.
This is your look.
Your face looks slender, you look great.
You look masculine, sexy, strong.
Before, one out of a hundred ladies
would wanna get with it,
and now, like, 98 out of a hundred
wanna get with it.
- But those two are gonna bother me.
- Exactly.
Thank you, after you, after you,
gentlemen, gentlemen.
Okay, so, you've got
your gorgeous surprise.
When we were together,
we talked about the fact
that you need to brand yourself
and know how to network.
But part of branding,
with this brand-new way you're looking,
we need to get some images
that show how you look.
- So, we have a photo shoot set up for you.
- Right, all right, yeah.
- You're about to be a model.
- This look on you. Don't be nervous.
Don't be nervous.
This is Philippe, this is Bryan.
Bryan, I'm Joe.
And so, they are photographers,
they have their own studios, B&P Studios,
which are amazing,
and they'll take great shots for you
that you can start using
to brand yourself.
People don't need to see the old you.
- No, they need to see this me.
- This guy, got it.
- Need to see all this.
- Yeah.
You can't be in this,
so we're gonna change.
So, I've got a look for you.
This is gonna be amazing.
I'm gonna teach him how to pose.
- You're good at that.
- So are you.
You're good at it in a boyish way.
Yeah, I'm more like:
Yeah, right, exactly, but I go like:
See if I can do your way and you can
do my way. You can butch it up.
- No, you can't purse the lips.
- Okay.
- If you butch it up, you gotta...
- Just really...
It's just relaxed.
Okay, okay, okay.
So, you see my face?
- It's totally relaxed. So, it's like...
- There you go, straight up.
Guys, look at our new Joe.
Look how cute he looks.
Wow!
- Give me a twirl.
- Work it.
- Walk up with that confidence.
- There you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When we're talking about your brand,
we think about the comedy you're doing.
It's self-deprecating.
We figure out a way you can emote that,
so the audience can see that guy.
- Okay?
- I have a problem smiling, though.
- Loosen it up, be you.
- Yeah.
Every time you hear it click, don't
move your whole body. Just a little.
- All right.
- And just relax.
Let go, relax.
It's just you and me, they're not here.
Take your time to find your brand.
- I don't know what it's going to be.
- Okay.
Yeah.
- Like...
- There we go, see?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Like, "Did I fart in her face again?"
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- Oh, yes, that's good.
Awesome.
Do something like this.
I still want self-deprecating ones.
Yeah, that's it, and then be silly.
- You made it your own.
- That's exactly what I wanted.
That look on your face,
don't change it, it is cute.
Yes, there you go.
You're just like owning
your space and stuff.
Yes, work those glasses.
- Can we see?
- Of course.
- Oh, that's great.
- That's cute.
- Oh, my dear.
- All these are phenomenal.
- That's you.
- What a transformation, honey.
- You look sexy, confident.
- I'm amazed that I pulled that off.
- It's what we're saying.
- Two days ago, I wouldn't have.
You could have.
It's just you didn't know it.
- All right, yeah.
- I'm gonna be real.
I'm surprised that Joe had it in him,
because he's a little corny.
But my man Joe, he's feeling it.
That's what it's about.
Now you have something visual,
so you can see what we see,
- and believe in yourself.
- Absolutely.
What are you expecting
when you go in, Joe?
- Water slides and hot tubs...
- Good. That's what we've got.
Oh, my God, there's no window.
- You thought this was a window?
- For a moment.
LED lights
make it look like a real window.
So, you don't feel as much
like you're in a basement.
- Let's take your glasses.
- Take these off.
- Here we go.
- Yeah, oh, my God!
- It's gorgeous!
- It's your new space.
Holy shit.
- Bobby, it looks so great.
- You like it?
Oh, my God.
Look at him taking it all in.
This is so amazing.
- So, what do you think?
- I'm speechless, and I talk for a living.
Yeah, yeah.
Most bachelor pads are ugly,
like leather sofas and hand-me-down stuff.
But Joe's is really cool, and I wanted it
to reflect his comedic personality.
I'm like living on a set.
Can you imagine all the cute girls
you'll connect with deeply?
You don't need to bring them
through the house.
You got your own entrance.
Gave you empty cabinets,
to store your memorabilia and stuff.
And we wanna get you out of these glasses.
- Get this sexy set of contacts.
- Show those eyes.
We noticed this at the shoot.
As soon as you got your hair done,
as soon as we opened up your face,
you started to really make eye contact.
Do it more, show confidence.
We're good.
So much better.
Let's wear these more often.
He's framed your face so beautifully.
Show it off.
Come take a seat with me.
I went to your social media,
and I didn't see one place
that you call yourself a comedian.
Tell the audience what you're about.
Otherwise, you won't go to the level
that I know you can go to.
So, one of the things I did for you is,
I built you a website.
- Are you serious?
- I'm serious.
- Do you like?
- Yeah. Wow.
- So, I put together a new hashtag for you.
- Okay.
And this is part of your new brand.
Below Average Joe.
It made you laugh, see? It's funny.
This is the Joe that is gonna walk through
this world confident, sexy, strong.
- Okay.
- But on-stage, you're gonna brand yourself
with this guy who is self-deprecating,
is still figuring out life.
As we walked through
the American Legion,
they all said that's what they related to.
- Look how sexy you are in these photos.
- I know.
Let me see it.
Honey, she's arrived.
Hey, you look so good.
They've had their time,
now it's my time. Ready for this?
Okay. So, we've kept it simple,
'cause I've put all
of your buttoned-up shirts on one side,
- along with your blazers.
- Okay.
That'll make it easy to make your suit.
Everything goes from dark to light.
You can wear any of this in the day,
and then just throw on a jacket
or one of the shirts to layer up on-stage,
looks like you made an effort
when you wore it all day.
First, foundations. Underwear.
Burn your old underwear.
I'll throw it away,
it'll never see the light of day.
You'll wear this for us, yeah?
And I want to get you in your first look.
- Ready?
- Yeah.
- Nervous?
- No.
It's gonna be great, I promise.
Come on through.
- Boys, you ready for it?
- We are born ready.
When you come out,
I want you to give us, like, a walk.
Spin it around.
- That jacket.
- Yeah, yes.
Yes.
- I need more Naomi, less North Korea.
- Yeah.
You are killing it.
Come on, swag.
Yeah, what's it look like
with the jacket off?
It's like a Mark Ruffalo thing going on.
- Our boy looks good?
- He looks amazing.
- I think he's ready.
- Good.
Do me a favor, will you join us?
Come on the bed.
Get in the middle, lay down,
lay down on your new bed.
We didn't get to talk about it
'cause there was heterosexuals
cutting your hair yesterday,
but I sense there was something
that happened
that like I feel like you have
the beginning of healing going on.
I can see it in your body language.
When you stand next to me now,
dressed the way you are,
hair the way it is,
glasses off,
you carry yourself differently
than you did when we first met you.
The fact that we have achieved that
is fantastic, and that's what we wanted.
I'm feeling overwhelmed.
It's just incredible.
What you did
knocked me out of the park.
My expectations were like here,
and the results are like up here.
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
You got the comedy show.
Tell us how you feel.
Excited. I haven't performed
with my brother in a while.
That's fine,
but you'll steal the limelight.
They're not gonna know he's there.
Absolutely.
- Good.
- Yeah.
- The time has come that we must leave you.
- You gotta go.
- I got a show to get ready for.
- We are gonna miss you.
Yeah.
Good luck tonight, my man.
- See you.
- Good luck.
- Enjoy the space.
- You're like a pharaoh.
Stay in bed,
your minions are coming to hug you.
Good luck tonight, kiddo.
- Bye, Joe.
- Bye, Joe.
- Good luck tonight.
- Love you.
I'm excited about stepping out on that
stage for the first time as the new me.
I have a lot of faith.
I think he'll do well at his set.
The old Joe doesn't compare.
The new Joe is light years ahead
of where the old Joe was.
I feel like it's my own kid,
and I'm just like, "You can do it."
So, Joe Gallois.
- There you go.
- Aw.
- We've made it easy, Joe.
- What do you think he'll pick out?
I'm hoping it's gonna be a simple shirt
and some jeans, and a nice jacket.
- He's doing a stand-up.
- It's gotta be appropriate for it.
No, that's the exact thing
you have on already.
He's thinking it might be a woman,
so he's making it out like...
Yeah, what is he doing?
I'd love if he mounted the outfit.
No, focus on the clothes. On the clothes.
He's going after the blue pieces.
Yeah, he is. I said build up to color,
but I meant, like, tonight.
I forgot how truly flat he can be,
but I love him anyway.
- Yeah.
- Listen. Just because he's quiet
in real life doesn't mean
he won't pop on-stage.
I want him to give me some dynamicness.
He's putting on a jacket
that's a pop of color, I'm happy.
- He's making an effort.
- He looks good with it.
He should go for a black jean or gray,
we're almost there.
Like, this is reality television.
This is how terribly wrong it can go.
It's gonna be a good show.
It's gonna be good.
Yes, crowd.
Yes. Can one of these ladies
be a lady he can get?
Maybe.
Have you seen everybody else's fashion?
He's a step above everybody else.
Oh, yeah.
It's the guys who nominated him,
his brother and Ian.
Stand up, let's see you.
- Damn.
- Look at that jacket, nice.
- Yeah. What's it looking like out there?
- The crowd's packed.
His body language shifted
when his brother got there.
Super-proud of you.
- Thank you.
- You feel good? Give me a hug.
- Oh! One-handed hug?
- I know, that was an awkward hug.
But they're not touchy-feely brothers.
- I am with my brothers.
- But they're just not like that.
- Man, you look really good.
- Thank you.
Aw.
- Can't get over this.
- Yeah.
- Yup.
- His brother seems supportive.
Thank you guys for coming out tonight.
Come on, y'all, pump it up.
- Please be funny.
- He's gonna be great.
Please bless him. He's funny.
I'm, like, sweaty-palmed nervous for him.
It is my honor to bring up
my brother to this stage.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Joe Gallois 2.0!
All right, all right, guys.
Thank you so much for coming.
I've had quite a week.
I had five gay guys come over to my house.
Not usually. I had five gay guys
come into my house this week.
Or they came to my parents' house.
Made me over head to toe.
And, guys, I've upgraded.
I'm now in the basement.
What?
That's actually really good.
For the longest time,
I've been jobless, loveless and penniless.
I'm still most of those things, but my
parents have been there the whole time.
They wanna be proud of me,
but I've given them nothing.
They would find anything,
'cause they're good parents.
Like, I told my dad my car
passed its emissions test. He was elated.
He was like, "That's a 2001 Camry.
That's not a given. Good job."
A little bit about me.
This year, I've lost 110 pounds.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I had to lose the weight.
I was the biggest I ever was.
I hit rock bottom in terms of my weight,
and I was worried
I was gonna end up on a reality show.
What I was worried about
was ending up on the show Hoarders.
And the show
was just gonna be about my body.
The host comes in, starts grabbing me,
"What do you need these for?"
I'm like, "I don't know, the winter?
I'm storing. I'm storing nuts."
Guys, that's my time.
Thank you so much, thank you.
Been one crazy week.
Thank you guys so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
- Yes!
- Yeah!
Hey.
Thank you. Thank you for coming.
- Oh, who's this lady?
- Who are you with the orange nails?
Oh, he's holding on, too.
Yeah, I gotta be fast.
What?
- My man, my man got his swag.
- Did he mention a girl to anybody?
- No, he didn't mention a girl.
- Who is she?
- You checking around?
- Yes.
Okay, I'll be back.
- Who is that chick?
- He said, "coming back."
- Thank you so much. This is all you guys.
- You were great, too.
- Thank you.
- Nice little set, good job.
- They gave me business cards.
- That's what you do, pass them out.
- Peter, have a business card.
- Your jacket is incredible.
- Yeah.
- It's great.
- That is incredible.
- Shout-out for the jacket.
That was a whole new everything.
And I've watched you for years.
I didn't feel like you were
holding anything in.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Yes, he seems confident.
You made eye contact,
you were seamless, you were confident.
- Yeah.
- You seriously were incredible.
This was what we were teaching him.
Eye contact, look at people,
body language.
Be confident. You're the man, Joe.
I'm really glad you came.
This has been the craziest week,
and, like, I'm so glad
you were texting me back.
Uh-oh.
- She's touching him.
- Oh, God.
I know we've been hanging out a lot...
Are we actually going out?
Can we go out on a real date?
- Let's go on a real date.
- Yes!
Yeah!
He just got a date!
He just got a date!
He just got a date!
Yes! He got a date!
We have to do a big cheers.
- To Below Average Joe.
- To Joe.
To Below Average Joe!
Yeah, it's so weird, isn't it?
- What was the best part?
- What?
This. This is the best part.
If you've got too much jelly in the belly,
what you can do is layer up,
make that eye dance,
and then you'll distract
from your weak spot.
Mean.
- You're the one who ate the donut.
- Mean.