Queer Eye (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - To Gay or Not Too Gay - full transcript
An emotional makeover helps the self-proclaimed "Straightest Gay Guy in Atlanta" come out to his stepmother and make peace with his past.
Party time, guys.
Guys, you realize this is the first party
we've been invited to
while we've been in Atlanta?
- So excited.
- Can't wait.
The guy that we're meeting today,
his name is Anthony "AJ" Brown.
He's from Atlanta, Georgia.
He is 32 years old.
His friend Al is the one
who nominated him.
He's the one who invited us
to this party, so we can surprise AJ.
- So, next up on the stage...
- AJ.
The salon is our pregame spot.
That's where our celebrations are
and where we start.
It's my sister's birthday.
Perfect opportunity
for the Fab 5 to see him.
I wanted to nominate AJ because
he needs work in a lot of different areas.
My name is AJ Brown.
I work as a civil engineer,
and I expand airports.
It's been an ongoing thing in our group
that, you know, I need a little help.
His home is very, very interesting.
His man cave is a cave.
'Cause in a cave you find a lot
of different things that don't belong.
There shouldn't be a tire in his closet.
AJ is not the most stylish.
I call him, like, a corny schoolboy.
I do see a difference
when he's just out on his own
and when he's out with us.
I am one person at work.
I am a different person around my family.
I'm a completely different person at home.
I have a boyfriend.
- Yeah.
- Yes, I love that.
- He is a catch.
- Congratulations, AJ.
- Good for him.
- He has a boyfriend named Drey,
but he keeps his love life private to most
because he's not openly gay.
- Ah.
- I'm lying to a lot of people.
- How much you want?
- All of it.
At times I am very self-conscious
of looking gay,
or looking like, you know,
people can tell my preference
just by my clothes or,
"Oh, this is how gay people dress."
I still haven't come out
to the people I need to come out to.
One of AJ's biggest life regrets is not
coming out to his dad before he died.
- Aw.
- Since things are getting really serious
with Drey, he wants to come out
to his stepmom. That's really great.
Our mission is to help AJ come out
to his stepmom at the end of this week.
- Yeah. That's awesome.
- Yes.
- Close.
- Got it.
Where is the salon?
Oh, they are going in.
- What's up?
- How are you doing?
- I'm good.
- Hi, Tan.
How about some booze?
- Jonathan brought the brownies.
- What kind of brownies are those?
- Nice jacket.
- Thank you.
Where's his man? Come here, come here.
- What's the favorite thing he wears?
- Nothing.
- He wears nothing? I appreciate that.
- He looks very starched.
- Yeah.
- In a can.
Yeah. This is amazing.
I can't believe I'm meeting you already.
- Love surprising you.
- Random.
- It's Al's fault.
- He set this up.
Absolutely.
We have had such a great time
partying with you all.
Unfortunately, we got work to do.
You're coming with us.
- When?
- Right now.
Bye.
Yes.
You're getting in the car.
Show us where you live.
- Oh, right now? Oh, God.
- Oh, no.
- It's dawning on him.
- Just breathe.
Oh, my God, honey.
- Whoa, ceilings?
- This place is really cool.
I don't think he needs our help.
Oh, never mind.
- Holy shit. What in gay hell, AJ?
- It looks like you live at a Goodwill.
How long have these been on this bed?
I'm not a fan of laundry.
But if it got that big,
give it to Goodwill.
Clearly you're not wearing
any of those clothes.
Where do you sleep?
- Living room.
- Why? You have this cool bedroom.
I have nowhere to put stuff.
You have a closet.
You don't seem like you hang anything up.
- Heaps of space.
- Right. A ton of space in that closet.
- You have random money lying around.
- Tan, I found a dollar bill.
- Is there a reason?
- Random.
- Are you a stripper?
- I always can use a one.
- The bathtub's amazing.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Princess Diana,
I'm still not over it.
I'm not over it!
Crusty underwear.
Those underwear don't move
when you lift them.
Really, the only things I could keep,
that I like, I do like this, we can
keep this. I got my keep pile.
- I need to wash my hands.
- Okay.
There's a stereotype
that gay men are all expert designers,
perfect at color coordination,
but not all know how to do that.
I'm giving you Beyoncé, hold up. Yes.
Whoa, what is...? What is this?
- Is this for like a themed party?
- This is the '90s, but come on.
No, I think that's for like
a leather-daddy sexy party type thing.
It is?
Am I right? Your arms just crossed.
Am I right? Wait...
- Tell me you got more.
- What else do you have?
- Yes, I wanna see.
- There must be other stuff.
- This is crazy.
- Look, there's a swing.
Oh, push me, daddy.
Watch out, watch out.
It's gonna support us. You can do it.
What have we got?
Things are about to get gay
Super gay, leather gay
Leather, leather, leather gay
I heard that, girl.
- Who's trying it on?
- Me.
- You start from the back.
- Feels nice.
Super comfy. It's like sweatpants.
- That a harness?
- It is.
- I love a harness situation.
- There you go.
- Now I understand the swing...
- Yeah.
- Now I understand the swing.
- It's hot.
- Come here.
- Bring it over here.
This is opening up all new doors
about this little "shy" AJ.
You into some freaky shit.
You ain't fooling nobody.
Where's your clippers?
I've never seen a black man
- that does not have clippers.
- I saw clippers.
- There's clippers.
- Where?
- You didn't dig around. Gotta go deep.
- Honey, I love...
- How often do you use this?
- Never.
- You never use this?
- No. Mm-mm.
- What?
- Come on. This is...
I don't wanna mess up.
Best thing I can do is not touch it.
- I got you. We'll sort that out.
- Okay.
Oh, wow.
- You have nine containers of almond milk.
- Yeah.
I use them in my shakes, cereal,
and I just like to drink almond milk.
Borderline obsessive.
- Want me to make you something?
- Yes. Wanna make me a smoothie?
- Yeah.
- Make me a protein smoothie?
So, what are dishes you had
when growing up?
- We would have a lot of, like, Tex-Mex.
- Yep.
Um, a lot of Mexican-inspired foods,
like enchiladas, tamales.
And this is with your father
and your...
My stepmom, she's Mexican.
She always makes tamales.
When I go over there,
she gives me a whole bag.
The only time I eat a real meal
is when I go to her house.
Come on, you're a grown man. You have
to know how to make your own food.
- What's in here?
- It's, uh...
It smells a little herbaceous.
- Mm. Tasty.
- It's like if you took a chalk
and if you crushed it into powder form,
it's very textural.
- Okay.
- This is really weird.
What is the reason
why you're not using your bedroom?
I like sunlight when I wake up,
so, I come out here and I can wake up
to the sun, rather than:
So, when the sun comes up,
you wake up?
- Yeah.
- I wish that worked for me.
But would you rather wake up to
natural light or have a functional space
- that you could use?
- Functional space.
So, I can have friends over,
everybody comes here, and like:
"There's a bed in your living room."
- The swing.
- Yeah, it's a good stress-reliever
and my friends get on it...
- You want this to stay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Or some form of it somewhere.
- A swing somewhere.
- In the bedroom?
Hey.
In the ideal world,
if you were out to everybody,
would these be the clothes you're wearing?
I could dress better. I would wear
more form-fitting clothes, nicer shoes.
Mm-hm. I wanna get you into more street,
younger style
because this is an outfit that
somebody much older would wear.
I want you to actually feel sexy,
look sexy.
- And hopefully Drey...
- I feel I look...
- Yeah.
- I feel sexy.
I love that you have confidence,
but I wanna turn it into swaggy sexy.
Yeah. Just don't make me look feminine
or just some regular guy on the street.
- Keep me original, still.
- I like that.
I wanna mention one word you said.
Feminine.
Why are you concerned about that?
And it's a concern for a lot of gay guys.
My friends are more free
with what they wear and I couldn't do it.
I'm hoping you'll spend time with us
and get used to the fact that
you being your true self
isn't going to offend anybody.
People won't cause you an issue
because you're being yourself.
And if they're concerned,
that's on them. You're happy.
This is such a beautiful painting.
Um, this is a painting my dad had
in his house.
Um, after he passed,
I ended up getting it.
So, now it hangs in my house.
Were you close with your father?
Yeah, we're really close,
but he didn't know a big part of me.
My dad, he always acted a certain way,
and it sort of translated to me.
I feel like I needed
to put up the traditional front.
Makes sense. Everything you're
saying, you touching right here, like...
I'm talking about you're literally
hitting home with me, you know...
Not to say about others,
but in the black community,
- we walk the world already as black.
- We already have strikes against us.
I wish I did tell my dad, but I just
couldn't say it. Now I regret it.
Mm-hm. Yeah. So, that's why
it's very important for you
to share with your stepmother
that you're gay.
- You took a deep breath. What's going on?
- It's always a point of anxiety.
And I haven't told her for this long
for a reason.
I feel like that our relationship
will shift negatively.
That could have implications
for the rest of my life,
- and change the course of my life.
- A lot of fear
- about the unknown?
- Exactly, yeah. Yeah.
I need to take this step to move forward.
I plan on having a family
- and I want her to be a part of it.
- I'm happy to hear you say that.
By saying, "I wanna let you know
I'm inviting you into my life,
and I want you to be a part of it,"
- is the healthiest thing you can do.
- Exactly.
Fellas. Let's take a seat over here.
I have a clear plan
of how I know I wanna help AJ.
- How are you guys feeling?
- There'll be a lot of change going on
and what better way to celebrate that
than to have a little cocktail party?
- That'd be great.
- Will your stepmom be there?
It's about time for me
to show her my life.
- This is a time for celebration and pride.
- It's integration station.
It's integration station!
Let's do it.
- Yeah.
- All right, good.
I've been comfortable with being gay
a long time.
So, sometimes I forget people
need help coming out of their cocoon.
I came out at 15.
Being an openly gay black man
in the South was hard for me.
People told me,
"You're not gonna be able to do that.
You're too black. You're too gay."
If my gay black ass from the South
could do it,
your ass can do it.
So, just believe in yourself.
Not an option for me
to be closeted or to keep it to myself.
Sky's blue, grass is green.
Can't fight it.
Not all of us are in the spotlight.
Some of us fight the fight
by our daily action.
It doesn't always have to be out and loud.
It can be out and proud.
My father made a comment about,
"You certainly lead a discreet life."
So, I did like any boy would,
and I text him, "Hey, Dad,
so, I'm gay, and this is okay."
- We're heading to your stepmom's.
- Okay. All right.
You and Antoni and your stepmom's
gonna make some tamales.
- My hands are getting sweaty.
- What...? Oh!
- We're getting close.
- We're not telling her now.
- She doesn't even know what show this is.
- No. Let's make one thing...
You're telling your stepmom today
that you're on a makeover show.
They're making over your fashion,
your apartment.
We're here to make tamales. I'm glad
we had this conversation to clarify.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey. How you doing?
Good to see you. This is Antoni.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- These are for you.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
- They smell nice.
- What's going on in here?
- I was making some tamales.
- Who do you make all these tamales for?
- Me.
Every time he comes,
"You want to take some home?" "Yes."
- I make sure.
- I take all the tamales.
I love that.
She likes to make them for you, right?
I really enjoy it.
Can you show me
what you have going on in these pots?
We're gonna add the pork
and the garlic. Oregano.
- Mexican oregano?
- Yes.
I want him to spend time
and learn these lessons,
and start doing this in his home as well.
So, the husks are ready.
We already have the masa.
We use the leaf from the corn
and then you...
So, it's a thin layer.
You don't put too much?
Then we just put the meat in.
We're just gonna...
- It's a little like a cigar.
- Yeah.
- You fold this part?
- Yeah, you fold.
- Wow, perfecto.
- Perfect. Yeah.
I wanna know about AJ
when he was 12 years old.
- What kind of a boy was he?
- He's a really good kid. Quiet, smart.
- I was smart?
- Yes. I mean, you still.
If it wasn't for my dad,
I really probably would've dropped out
- and went to the Army.
- Really?
Every time I was having a bad time,
he said, "Dig through it,
and do your best,"
and that's just what I did,
even though there were times
when I wanted to just quit.
It sounds like he was
a really positive figure.
When Anthony Senior passed,
your relationship with AJ,
did you guys get closer to each other?
- We got closer.
- He told me, "Take care of Haide,
and make sure, um,
she doesn't have any problems."
That's sweet. Do you feel like
you can rely on this guy?
- Oh, yes. Always.
- Yeah?
I can call him anytime I need him
and he'll be here, yeah.
- Yeah.
- That's really lovely.
Yes. Very, very. I mean...
They both have this unconditional love
for AJ's father,
that's what brings them together,
but it's from the boundary distance.
Imagine if they were able to be open
and honest with one another.
It would take the relationship
to the next level.
So, Haide, I'm having a, um, party
and I have a lot to show you,
sort of the new me.
You'll come?
All right, okay. Sure.
Good, good.
- Maybe he'll cook for you.
- Can you?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Right?
- Yes, yes, yes.
I wanna see that.
The reason why I brought you in here is
because I wanna show you ways of dressing
that is still relatively conservative,
but also I wanna give you
pops of new color, new print
that actually makes sense for you.
- These cargo shorts.
- I wear them every day.
Are they utilitarian? Do you use
those pockets for something?
Yeah, they're full of stuff.
These are as tight as jeans can get,
and I put my sunglasses,
my cell phone and a full wallet in.
- You don't have these thighs, so...
- Hold on a second, all right?
This adds bulk in a weird place,
so it makes you look shorter.
Footwear, I wanna get you simple
white trainers, go with everything.
- And then polos.
- I actually do wear polos.
Oh, you do? Okay. How do you feel
about a pop of color?
I stay with just the darker,
more formal colors.
Not orange, not yellow,
or even a pink?
- I like the dark green.
- Good, me too.
So, let's get you in the fitting room.
Come with me, all right?
- All right. Got it.
- Thank you.
- Okay, AJ.
- All right.
Oh, my God. You are so ripped.
This is your size, this is your fit.
This is it.
I like the shirt,
the pants are too tight.
- Too tight?
- Yes.
- Really?
- If you had baggier jeans,
it just won't go with this
that you have going on here.
Let's talk about the fit.
I wouldn't go any bigger, any smaller.
It shows off your arms.
You've got the body, show it off.
- I like this.
- He's smiling.
- You like the way that you look in this.
- Yeah. I like this.
Good.
This conservative, masculine life
he wants to live,
I think is more what society expects
of him than what he truly feels inside.
I want an outfit that actually represents
the true AJ, who deep down,
truly wants to be the guy who's out.
- It's showing off all of my assets, too.
- That's what you want.
Still conservative. I can do this look.
I know you want to be conservative
and masculine.
However, I don't want that to limit you.
I think a large part of it is,
I do have a better-than-average body,
- so, I do try to hide it.
- Why? I wanna understand.
I associate a lot of gay people
showing off all of their bodies
and, you know,
focusing really hard on their looks.
- Those things don't matter to me.
- He's also conservative in his fashion.
He doesn't wear crazy colors.
You're not into crazy prints.
Yeah, I keep it really simple, it's about
good-fitting jeans and T-shirts.
Sexuality, it's always been
the secondary part of me.
Not that it was unimportant,
but it wasn't at the forefront
of how I present myself.
So, did the way you presented yourself
change after you came out or...?
In my first relationship with a guy,
I certainly experimented a little more.
We went on trips to Mykonos
and I wore brighter colors.
And shorter bathing suits.
- Is that what you wanted?
- I played with it.
I went a little extreme at first,
'cause I thought I had to,
'cause I was immersed in gay culture,
which was so new.
I didn't know gay people before.
Um, I realized,
I took a step back and I was like,
"This isn't me, this doesn't work."
And now there are other parts of me
that are more interesting,
that when I present myself
that sort of come out.
I think we go from one extreme to another
because we're out and we feel like
we should be who we wanna be.
That doesn't mean it's
who you settle into. Find what works.
It doesn't have to be uber-conservative
if that's not who you truly are.
It's not. I like to have fun, I like
to experiment, I like to, you know...
If I had to do it over again,
I'd probably be more true to myself.
Where are we?
You've been saying
you're ready to embark on this journey,
but you have fears.
Telling your stepmother,
coworkers that you're gay.
I wanted to take you somewhere
where you can get over those fears.
- Don't worry. Don't worry.
- I'm scared.
- Hey there, Sean.
- Sean?
Nice to meet you.
Welcome to Treetop Quest.
Ready to zip-line an obstacle course?
- How high are these zip lines?
- Like 40-ish feet.
You conquer the fear.
Exposure therapy's what we call it.
- A little nervous?
- Yeah.
It's the fears that you have that has
kept you from doing what you need to do,
and live your life authentically
and open to others.
You'll conquer that now.
- By throwing me off a cliff? Okay.
- Yes.
AJ, he's one of those individuals that's
so ready to stay in their comfort zone.
Hold this part for me, right here.
I'll take care
of getting your belt tightened.
Anything that's gonna take him out of that
is gonna make him scared,
make him feel fear.
No point of holding on to fear
when you have love for yourself
and a love of a community
that's around you.
- Any last words for Drey before we go?
- Last words?
- We get to go over there?
- Like, where the kids are?
Yeah.
Sorry, homeboy.
This is all you getting challenged today.
You got this. Just leading you to where
it gets easy and smooth sailing.
Oh, heck, no.
You can do it.
- They progressively get scarier.
- Hold it steady. You got it.
- Um...
- Now, this is the test.
Oh!
Good job.
Ah, shoot. Who'd ever think of this?
I'll just jump from the plank.
- Hold on. You know what?
- What?
We need to make this more special
to show you have faith.
How? Oh, wow.
- That's freaky.
- Exactly.
This is it. This is that leap of faith
for your stepmother,
it's that leap of faith for
- Okay.
- a better AJ.
- Wait a minute.
- I got you.
- Right here.
- Where's the edge?
You're near the edge.
Falling can sometimes be hard,
and falling blind can even be harder.
But if he can trust himself
and face that fear,
he's gonna be showing up for himself
in a way he probably never has.
Every time I start, I just wanna like...
Listen. Leap of faith.
This is how OGs do it.
I got you.
- Great job.
- Yeah.
Just like his condo, he's got great bones.
And the way I wanna show him is by
showing him how cool his home can be
to match how cool he is.
Tile looks good. How long you have
till I can start setting the kitchen?
- An hour.
- Thank you.
There wasn't one space in AJ's place
that was being used for what it was
supposed to be used for.
So, I needed to make
every single space function
where he can have sleepovers
with his significant other in the bedroom
and basically really start living his life
as his true self.
I've brought you to see
my barber Sam, he does all my edges.
- What are edges?
- Like, your edges?
Oh, okay.
You didn't know what an edge was?
Jump into the hot seat.
My vision for you is this.
I wanted to see you
with a little temple fade.
- A more of a wave length on top.
- Yeah.
You've been trying to grow the beard in.
I feel like I miss your face.
- Are you telling me to cut my beard?
- I don't wanna get rid of it all.
- Let's shape it up, but keep the shadow.
- Cool.
Here's the thing, I'm just giving AJ
the confidence he needs
to get the F out from behind
that dang beard.
Boy, you're giving me so much sexy
face right now. I can't even handle it.
This is how he always was supposed
to look, always have felt.
Are you ready to see?
Wow.
Face is slay to the gods. Thank you.
Everything is just lit.
I have a chin.
I don't even recognize myself.
You look handsome AF.
Yes. Wow.
Shit, I look sexy.
- You look amazing.
- Thank you.
You're welcome, babe. Aw.
- Hey.
- Hey, Karamo.
You look amazing.
- So do you.
- Tan already dressed you.
- Yeah?
- Phenomenal. Look at your body.
Thank you.
Guys, he's here. Welcome home.
What is this? Oh, my God.
Welcome to your home.
Where am I? This is not my place.
We're on the wrong floor.
This is not mine.
Now you've got an adult man sofa.
You and Drey can lay out,
more room for friends.
You can actually have dinner parties.
And that amazing painting,
- that was your father's.
- Wow.
The black frame, it used to be gold.
I painted it black
because it makes the painting pop.
Down at the bottom left corner,
see the blue?
- Oh, yeah.
- It's your pillows. It's your curtains.
Wow, I keep looking around here
just like there's so much here.
I gave you some more work space
because this kitchen wasn't functional.
- I love the colors, and how you used my...
- Yeah, you had amazing countertops.
- And we put open shelves.
- Oh, my God. This is amazing. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- I love it.
I had a good canvas to work with.
We all did.
- Oh, and you kept my swing.
- I wouldn't get rid of that.
It's unique.
And then in here,
if you don't use this bedroom now...
This is your room. No longer...
- This is me?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God. This is amazing.
- There you go, let it out.
- Let it out.
- You think you can sleep in here now?
- I'm not leaving this room.
You said you slept in there
because you like to be woke up by the sun.
So, I've installed two of these.
And you set it to come on
at a certain time,
and it wakes you up with sunlight.
It's like a...
Oh, man, a piece of art in here.
Your closet not only was unfunctional,
but it made the room feel smaller.
I wanted to give you an exposed closet,
metaphoric.
Yes, queen!
So, that way you keep it organized.
An old door in this cool building
that wasn't being used,
so I turned it into a bookcase.
Put some books, pictures of your family.
My God. Some of these
I haven't even seen before,
like this one of me
and my dad together.
Wow.
I love it.
- It reminds me of home.
- It doesn't remind you of home.
- It is your home.
- Oh, okay.
- You're home.
- Yes. Wow.
This is so much more than I ever
thought it could be. I am overwhelmed.
We're gonna be making
this beautiful spread of
arepas con queso fundido
on grilled vegetables.
Queso is cheese, as you know.
- Fundido, it's melted.
- Yeah, fondue.
Grab one of these.
Put grated cheese, two whole blocks.
You put it in the oven at 400 degrees.
This is gonna take about seven minutes
to cook.
While the cheese is in the oven,
grill some veggies.
Indoor grill pan.
- It's infrared on the sides.
- It's a grill? Wow.
So, you take a bit of oil, a bit of salt.
All right, let's try it out.
That's the sound that I like.
You hear a little sizzle.
This cheese is ready to take out.
And here we have arepas.
So, now you can grab one of those, cheese.
Piece of asparagus,
like, shove that in there.
- That is real good. Mm-hm.
- This is 30 minutes of your life.
When you have friends over for drinks,
it's something they'll talk about.
I can't wait to see
the look on their faces
when they have a meal that I've made.
And I didn't order from somewhere else.
- How's it going?
- Good. Oh, man, I feel great.
- This is amazing.
- So, I know tonight's party
is not only to celebrate your friends,
but it's also for you
- to come out to your stepmom.
- Yes.
I'm feeling good. There's a plan,
I don't wanna put it out just yet.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
I support that. This is all about
how you want to orchestrate your journey
as you start to let these people
into your life.
My energy coming into this,
I wanna just be... Just good.
Just good and light.
And, um, you know, I can't do that
if I potentially think this goes south.
That's what the whole leap of faith was.
Do not let that fear hold you.
Don't let it hold you anymore.
You are the epitome
of what it is to be a strong,
beautiful black gay man.
You know, it's rare that I hear that.
And, you know, it was my father
that really kept lifting me up.
You know, kept encouraging me.
And just those words are something
I haven't heard
in a minute, so it's, um...
Hmm.
I just really needed this.
I really needed to hear it.
- Give me a hug.
- All right.
- Listen, I'm proud of you.
- Yeah.
- You've no idea how proud I am of you.
- Thank you.
When it comes to edges,
for guys that are a bit scared
of edge work,
haven't done it, the important thing
to remember is when you go like...
You're committing to making a new line.
That's where you can hurt yourself.
You have such a clean line to follow.
All I would do is come in
and work up to the line,
once you get close to it, let it go.
And then, for your chin,
the rule of thumb here is,
put your finger on your Adam's apple,
that's where your line should start.
That's just for your own maintenance.
When you need
to get it cleaned up over your ears
and you need to get work done,
that's when you go in to Sam.
This is your closet.
There's no hidden doors.
I'm done with the doors.
Everything is nice and neat,
and it has to be
'cause it's out in the open.
Getting dressed should be this easy.
A pair of jeans and something else
to complement it, a top,
which is a T-shirt, a polo,
a button-up shirt.
I've given you a lot of color.
- Ready to try on clothes?
- Yes.
Karamo, your lashes are open.
Did you get a perm?
- Did you get a lash perm?
- There's a lash perm?
- Ready for the first look?
- Yeah.
AJ, come on out.
You're gonna love this outfit.
Whoa!
- Yeah, you model one.
- Hey!
Come on.
Yeah!
Yes, daddy.
You look sexy as hell.
Gorgeous, slippery and sloppy.
- Honey.
- What you think?
That looks so big and gorgeous.
You know what I mean?
Kind of like that.
I love that you refuse to smile
the whole time.
I like that better.
I feel like you've been communicating
with your pecs.
- It feels good just to pop one.
- Totally, pop it.
- Stop the ogling, next look, a real one.
- Yes.
I'm still sweaty, I need a soda.
- That made you really uncomfortable?
- No,
just made me feel...
Want anything to drink? Is anyone thirsty?
I didn't make any money.
- All right.
- All right.
- Boys, you ready?
- Yes, honey.
- Yeah. The little smile.
- Oh, you look phenomenal.
Let me tell you why we've done it
this way. It's conservative.
But he wants a look
that takes him to his job.
He's on a construction site.
Don't want anything crazy.
We still want him to look cool,
but conservative.
Then he wants to go to a bar or a club,
or whatever else.
- Here's a way of doing it where...
- Yes, God, yes.
he's still keeping his style, his swag,
and I would happily tap that
at the bar or club.
He'd be the first guy I'd go up to.
Fantastic.
- Really?
- Yeah, man. Oh, my God, yeah, man.
- Thank you.
- You look amazing, truly you do.
When this week started, I expected
more of an external transformation.
But what I didn't realize was
this was a transformation inside.
I just wanna thank you, guys.
My life is forever changed.
And you guys have made, like,
a hard situation so much better.
I never want people to feel like that
they're not gay enough or straight enough.
It's about what's in your heart.
What's in your heart is like...
You are amazing, just the way you are.
Hearing your stories
that you've been through the same thing,
and you guys survived.
So, I'll probably survive, too.
- No problem.
- You'll thrive.
There's no right or wrong way to be gay.
No right or wrong way to come out.
It's your journey,
do it the way you wanna do it.
It is time for us to go.
Oh! Been such a fun week.
Enjoy your new home. Have fun tonight.
- I'm so proud of you.
- Bye, we'll miss you.
AJ, you kill it!
- Love you the best. Bye-bye.
- Bye, guys.
- We need to watch AJ.
- Yes.
- Antoni, will you get me a drink?
- Uh-huh.
- He's probably freaking.
- He was.
- Oh, AJ. You're not worried.
- Thank you.
- Let's see our baby AJ.
- Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I love this peach on him.
Maybe he wants
to wear the tank top.
You can't really, like, come out
in a wife-lover tanky to your mom.
We can tell this is our first gay
because he's taking forever to get ready.
Let's see, what would Tan do?
What would Tan do?
- This is massive, what he's doing.
- Yes.
It's not about the outfit,
it's about what he'll do.
Yeah.
- I love a man in the kitchen.
- He even put an apron on.
- I know.
- I didn't even tell him that.
It's like a dang farmer's market in there.
Aw...
Your future hubby's at the door.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What's up?
- Walk me through.
- All right.
Show me everything. Love the colors.
Some color in here.
- Look at the curtains.
- Sensible TV.
- Making use of the space.
- Check out the couch.
The bed has gone.
It's a real living space.
Aw...
I love them together.
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?
Look at you, all clean-shaven.
- Twirl, do a twirl.
- Let me see your jeans.
- You don't look like an insurance man.
- Old skinty jeans.
Let me give you guys the grand tour.
Oh, wow.
This is...
This is me right here.
I think I'm gonna cry.
- Look at these.
- Look.
- You actually get to sleep in your room?
- This one doesn't move.
Oh.
- Come on, freak.
- Tell us more about that.
Is something burning?
I hear it beeping over... What?
- What is that?
- What that might be?
It's my arepas.
Let it cool a little bit.
I don't know how to act really
'cause I've never seen you cook, ever.
I thought it was unwise
to have the friends there,
- but they calm him.
- That is his best group of friends.
AJ, we are so proud of you
for going through this.
We love and support anything that you do,
but we hope you will transform
from the inside out. The out is fabulous.
I know.
So, to AJ, to friends and lovers.
- Fuck the others. Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Can you help me?
- Yes.
Thank you. Grill some veggies
and add the veggies into that.
- So, are you in charge of cooking now?
- Well, I have gotten special instructions.
- This is called grilling vegetables.
- Okay.
Hey. How you doing?
- I brought tamales.
- Thank you, thank you.
Give me a hug.
- This is my friends.
- Hi.
- How you doing?
- Haide brought tamales.
- I'm Marcus.
- Haide, nice to meet you.
- Haide.
- Andre, nice to meet you.
I don't think she realizes
he's his partner.
- She doesn't.
- He's introducing both of his worlds.
I love your kitchen. It's nice.
- Did you see the, uh...?
- Yeah, I see the frame of it.
- I see, like, the colors more bright.
- Yeah.
More dramatic.
Oh, my gosh. Look at this.
- Yeah.
- Look at all those pictures.
Nice.
Yeah. I wish Dad were here
to see it, though.
I think about it every day,
and I miss him a lot,
and...
Like, I wish I would have talked
to him more, and, you know...
- I know he's proud of you.
- Yeah.
It's okay. It's okay.
All right.
Well, I wrote a letter that...
you know, I felt like me,
sort of just talking to him,
like he can hear.
Can I read the letter that I wrote to him?
- Yes.
- Okay. All right.
I'd love to.
Okay.
"Dear Dad... it hasn't rained in a week,
but as I reflect on you,
the sky has suddenly opened
and poured out everything
it can no longer hold.
Yesterday and countless other days,
I am overwhelmed by emotion
and it, too, pours out.
Through it all, I know you would want me
to live my fullest life,
carrying on your name and legacy
even further than you did.
And if what people say is true,
our loved ones really do look down on us
from heaven.
Then you already know
that I'm well on my way...
being what you want of me.
If what people say is true,
then you also know that I am gay.
These three words have been
an enormous wall between us.
I'm sorry for not tearing down the wall
sooner.
You were an incredible dad
and didn't deserve to be left out.
Love, your son."
So...
I thought it was important
to tell you, um, my truth
that I am gay.
I wish I could share this moment with Dad
and see how happy...
Happy I am.
And...
I'm happy for you.
- I'm sorry for keeping it from you.
- That's fine.
But the past six or seven years,
they've been... a trying time for me.
I've dealt with so much stuff
that I couldn't talk about.
And I shouldn't have hid it from you.
I don't think I would have been here today
if I didn't have some of the people,
friends and family like you.
Not being honest and, um...
I mean, I can't be just like...
I don't know, it just felt like a lie.
I don't have much family here,
and you are my family
and I don't wanna lose you.
Oh, you won't.
I'm always gonna be there for you.
- You are?
- Like I know you gonna be here for me.
Yes.
Okay, I'm relieved.
- Come on.
- Thank you.
Good job.
Do you know I have a boyfriend?
No.
- I'm very happy.
- Is he here?
He's here.
I just feel really good about him.
And I'm thinking about
possibly getting married, maybe.
- This is supposed to be a party.
- Okay.
Let me get myself together.
Okay. Thank you.
This changes everything.
Hello.
- That's him?
- Yeah.
- Is that him?
- Yeah.
This is Andre.
Nice to meet you...
I feel like I've made a lot of stride
towards my truer self.
Just get that weight off my shoulders,
'cause that was very oppressive
for a very long time.
Now I just live my life
because I'm worth it.
- What?!
- What?
- He's taken it from one to 100 with her.
- Yeah.
I can't tell you the feeling I have
to see AJ on this journey.
I'm so proud of him.
I just really hope that AJ knows
that who he is... is so phenomenal
and that it's going to inspire people
to be their authentic self.
We all know that feeling,
that conversation,
so we know how big this was.
So, cheers to him.
- Yeah, cheers, cheers to AJ.
- Cheers. Yeah.
Coming out is really hard,
even for me.
Did I get chased with pitchforks?
Absolutely.
Did it make me a really hard worker?
For sure.
Was I the first male cheerleader
in my high school's history? Uh-huh.
Did that go over well?
Yes.
No, it didn't, it was a mess.
Guys, you realize this is the first party
we've been invited to
while we've been in Atlanta?
- So excited.
- Can't wait.
The guy that we're meeting today,
his name is Anthony "AJ" Brown.
He's from Atlanta, Georgia.
He is 32 years old.
His friend Al is the one
who nominated him.
He's the one who invited us
to this party, so we can surprise AJ.
- So, next up on the stage...
- AJ.
The salon is our pregame spot.
That's where our celebrations are
and where we start.
It's my sister's birthday.
Perfect opportunity
for the Fab 5 to see him.
I wanted to nominate AJ because
he needs work in a lot of different areas.
My name is AJ Brown.
I work as a civil engineer,
and I expand airports.
It's been an ongoing thing in our group
that, you know, I need a little help.
His home is very, very interesting.
His man cave is a cave.
'Cause in a cave you find a lot
of different things that don't belong.
There shouldn't be a tire in his closet.
AJ is not the most stylish.
I call him, like, a corny schoolboy.
I do see a difference
when he's just out on his own
and when he's out with us.
I am one person at work.
I am a different person around my family.
I'm a completely different person at home.
I have a boyfriend.
- Yeah.
- Yes, I love that.
- He is a catch.
- Congratulations, AJ.
- Good for him.
- He has a boyfriend named Drey,
but he keeps his love life private to most
because he's not openly gay.
- Ah.
- I'm lying to a lot of people.
- How much you want?
- All of it.
At times I am very self-conscious
of looking gay,
or looking like, you know,
people can tell my preference
just by my clothes or,
"Oh, this is how gay people dress."
I still haven't come out
to the people I need to come out to.
One of AJ's biggest life regrets is not
coming out to his dad before he died.
- Aw.
- Since things are getting really serious
with Drey, he wants to come out
to his stepmom. That's really great.
Our mission is to help AJ come out
to his stepmom at the end of this week.
- Yeah. That's awesome.
- Yes.
- Close.
- Got it.
Where is the salon?
Oh, they are going in.
- What's up?
- How are you doing?
- I'm good.
- Hi, Tan.
How about some booze?
- Jonathan brought the brownies.
- What kind of brownies are those?
- Nice jacket.
- Thank you.
Where's his man? Come here, come here.
- What's the favorite thing he wears?
- Nothing.
- He wears nothing? I appreciate that.
- He looks very starched.
- Yeah.
- In a can.
Yeah. This is amazing.
I can't believe I'm meeting you already.
- Love surprising you.
- Random.
- It's Al's fault.
- He set this up.
Absolutely.
We have had such a great time
partying with you all.
Unfortunately, we got work to do.
You're coming with us.
- When?
- Right now.
Bye.
Yes.
You're getting in the car.
Show us where you live.
- Oh, right now? Oh, God.
- Oh, no.
- It's dawning on him.
- Just breathe.
Oh, my God, honey.
- Whoa, ceilings?
- This place is really cool.
I don't think he needs our help.
Oh, never mind.
- Holy shit. What in gay hell, AJ?
- It looks like you live at a Goodwill.
How long have these been on this bed?
I'm not a fan of laundry.
But if it got that big,
give it to Goodwill.
Clearly you're not wearing
any of those clothes.
Where do you sleep?
- Living room.
- Why? You have this cool bedroom.
I have nowhere to put stuff.
You have a closet.
You don't seem like you hang anything up.
- Heaps of space.
- Right. A ton of space in that closet.
- You have random money lying around.
- Tan, I found a dollar bill.
- Is there a reason?
- Random.
- Are you a stripper?
- I always can use a one.
- The bathtub's amazing.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Princess Diana,
I'm still not over it.
I'm not over it!
Crusty underwear.
Those underwear don't move
when you lift them.
Really, the only things I could keep,
that I like, I do like this, we can
keep this. I got my keep pile.
- I need to wash my hands.
- Okay.
There's a stereotype
that gay men are all expert designers,
perfect at color coordination,
but not all know how to do that.
I'm giving you Beyoncé, hold up. Yes.
Whoa, what is...? What is this?
- Is this for like a themed party?
- This is the '90s, but come on.
No, I think that's for like
a leather-daddy sexy party type thing.
It is?
Am I right? Your arms just crossed.
Am I right? Wait...
- Tell me you got more.
- What else do you have?
- Yes, I wanna see.
- There must be other stuff.
- This is crazy.
- Look, there's a swing.
Oh, push me, daddy.
Watch out, watch out.
It's gonna support us. You can do it.
What have we got?
Things are about to get gay
Super gay, leather gay
Leather, leather, leather gay
I heard that, girl.
- Who's trying it on?
- Me.
- You start from the back.
- Feels nice.
Super comfy. It's like sweatpants.
- That a harness?
- It is.
- I love a harness situation.
- There you go.
- Now I understand the swing...
- Yeah.
- Now I understand the swing.
- It's hot.
- Come here.
- Bring it over here.
This is opening up all new doors
about this little "shy" AJ.
You into some freaky shit.
You ain't fooling nobody.
Where's your clippers?
I've never seen a black man
- that does not have clippers.
- I saw clippers.
- There's clippers.
- Where?
- You didn't dig around. Gotta go deep.
- Honey, I love...
- How often do you use this?
- Never.
- You never use this?
- No. Mm-mm.
- What?
- Come on. This is...
I don't wanna mess up.
Best thing I can do is not touch it.
- I got you. We'll sort that out.
- Okay.
Oh, wow.
- You have nine containers of almond milk.
- Yeah.
I use them in my shakes, cereal,
and I just like to drink almond milk.
Borderline obsessive.
- Want me to make you something?
- Yes. Wanna make me a smoothie?
- Yeah.
- Make me a protein smoothie?
So, what are dishes you had
when growing up?
- We would have a lot of, like, Tex-Mex.
- Yep.
Um, a lot of Mexican-inspired foods,
like enchiladas, tamales.
And this is with your father
and your...
My stepmom, she's Mexican.
She always makes tamales.
When I go over there,
she gives me a whole bag.
The only time I eat a real meal
is when I go to her house.
Come on, you're a grown man. You have
to know how to make your own food.
- What's in here?
- It's, uh...
It smells a little herbaceous.
- Mm. Tasty.
- It's like if you took a chalk
and if you crushed it into powder form,
it's very textural.
- Okay.
- This is really weird.
What is the reason
why you're not using your bedroom?
I like sunlight when I wake up,
so, I come out here and I can wake up
to the sun, rather than:
So, when the sun comes up,
you wake up?
- Yeah.
- I wish that worked for me.
But would you rather wake up to
natural light or have a functional space
- that you could use?
- Functional space.
So, I can have friends over,
everybody comes here, and like:
"There's a bed in your living room."
- The swing.
- Yeah, it's a good stress-reliever
and my friends get on it...
- You want this to stay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Or some form of it somewhere.
- A swing somewhere.
- In the bedroom?
Hey.
In the ideal world,
if you were out to everybody,
would these be the clothes you're wearing?
I could dress better. I would wear
more form-fitting clothes, nicer shoes.
Mm-hm. I wanna get you into more street,
younger style
because this is an outfit that
somebody much older would wear.
I want you to actually feel sexy,
look sexy.
- And hopefully Drey...
- I feel I look...
- Yeah.
- I feel sexy.
I love that you have confidence,
but I wanna turn it into swaggy sexy.
Yeah. Just don't make me look feminine
or just some regular guy on the street.
- Keep me original, still.
- I like that.
I wanna mention one word you said.
Feminine.
Why are you concerned about that?
And it's a concern for a lot of gay guys.
My friends are more free
with what they wear and I couldn't do it.
I'm hoping you'll spend time with us
and get used to the fact that
you being your true self
isn't going to offend anybody.
People won't cause you an issue
because you're being yourself.
And if they're concerned,
that's on them. You're happy.
This is such a beautiful painting.
Um, this is a painting my dad had
in his house.
Um, after he passed,
I ended up getting it.
So, now it hangs in my house.
Were you close with your father?
Yeah, we're really close,
but he didn't know a big part of me.
My dad, he always acted a certain way,
and it sort of translated to me.
I feel like I needed
to put up the traditional front.
Makes sense. Everything you're
saying, you touching right here, like...
I'm talking about you're literally
hitting home with me, you know...
Not to say about others,
but in the black community,
- we walk the world already as black.
- We already have strikes against us.
I wish I did tell my dad, but I just
couldn't say it. Now I regret it.
Mm-hm. Yeah. So, that's why
it's very important for you
to share with your stepmother
that you're gay.
- You took a deep breath. What's going on?
- It's always a point of anxiety.
And I haven't told her for this long
for a reason.
I feel like that our relationship
will shift negatively.
That could have implications
for the rest of my life,
- and change the course of my life.
- A lot of fear
- about the unknown?
- Exactly, yeah. Yeah.
I need to take this step to move forward.
I plan on having a family
- and I want her to be a part of it.
- I'm happy to hear you say that.
By saying, "I wanna let you know
I'm inviting you into my life,
and I want you to be a part of it,"
- is the healthiest thing you can do.
- Exactly.
Fellas. Let's take a seat over here.
I have a clear plan
of how I know I wanna help AJ.
- How are you guys feeling?
- There'll be a lot of change going on
and what better way to celebrate that
than to have a little cocktail party?
- That'd be great.
- Will your stepmom be there?
It's about time for me
to show her my life.
- This is a time for celebration and pride.
- It's integration station.
It's integration station!
Let's do it.
- Yeah.
- All right, good.
I've been comfortable with being gay
a long time.
So, sometimes I forget people
need help coming out of their cocoon.
I came out at 15.
Being an openly gay black man
in the South was hard for me.
People told me,
"You're not gonna be able to do that.
You're too black. You're too gay."
If my gay black ass from the South
could do it,
your ass can do it.
So, just believe in yourself.
Not an option for me
to be closeted or to keep it to myself.
Sky's blue, grass is green.
Can't fight it.
Not all of us are in the spotlight.
Some of us fight the fight
by our daily action.
It doesn't always have to be out and loud.
It can be out and proud.
My father made a comment about,
"You certainly lead a discreet life."
So, I did like any boy would,
and I text him, "Hey, Dad,
so, I'm gay, and this is okay."
- We're heading to your stepmom's.
- Okay. All right.
You and Antoni and your stepmom's
gonna make some tamales.
- My hands are getting sweaty.
- What...? Oh!
- We're getting close.
- We're not telling her now.
- She doesn't even know what show this is.
- No. Let's make one thing...
You're telling your stepmom today
that you're on a makeover show.
They're making over your fashion,
your apartment.
We're here to make tamales. I'm glad
we had this conversation to clarify.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey. How you doing?
Good to see you. This is Antoni.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- These are for you.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
- They smell nice.
- What's going on in here?
- I was making some tamales.
- Who do you make all these tamales for?
- Me.
Every time he comes,
"You want to take some home?" "Yes."
- I make sure.
- I take all the tamales.
I love that.
She likes to make them for you, right?
I really enjoy it.
Can you show me
what you have going on in these pots?
We're gonna add the pork
and the garlic. Oregano.
- Mexican oregano?
- Yes.
I want him to spend time
and learn these lessons,
and start doing this in his home as well.
So, the husks are ready.
We already have the masa.
We use the leaf from the corn
and then you...
So, it's a thin layer.
You don't put too much?
Then we just put the meat in.
We're just gonna...
- It's a little like a cigar.
- Yeah.
- You fold this part?
- Yeah, you fold.
- Wow, perfecto.
- Perfect. Yeah.
I wanna know about AJ
when he was 12 years old.
- What kind of a boy was he?
- He's a really good kid. Quiet, smart.
- I was smart?
- Yes. I mean, you still.
If it wasn't for my dad,
I really probably would've dropped out
- and went to the Army.
- Really?
Every time I was having a bad time,
he said, "Dig through it,
and do your best,"
and that's just what I did,
even though there were times
when I wanted to just quit.
It sounds like he was
a really positive figure.
When Anthony Senior passed,
your relationship with AJ,
did you guys get closer to each other?
- We got closer.
- He told me, "Take care of Haide,
and make sure, um,
she doesn't have any problems."
That's sweet. Do you feel like
you can rely on this guy?
- Oh, yes. Always.
- Yeah?
I can call him anytime I need him
and he'll be here, yeah.
- Yeah.
- That's really lovely.
Yes. Very, very. I mean...
They both have this unconditional love
for AJ's father,
that's what brings them together,
but it's from the boundary distance.
Imagine if they were able to be open
and honest with one another.
It would take the relationship
to the next level.
So, Haide, I'm having a, um, party
and I have a lot to show you,
sort of the new me.
You'll come?
All right, okay. Sure.
Good, good.
- Maybe he'll cook for you.
- Can you?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Right?
- Yes, yes, yes.
I wanna see that.
The reason why I brought you in here is
because I wanna show you ways of dressing
that is still relatively conservative,
but also I wanna give you
pops of new color, new print
that actually makes sense for you.
- These cargo shorts.
- I wear them every day.
Are they utilitarian? Do you use
those pockets for something?
Yeah, they're full of stuff.
These are as tight as jeans can get,
and I put my sunglasses,
my cell phone and a full wallet in.
- You don't have these thighs, so...
- Hold on a second, all right?
This adds bulk in a weird place,
so it makes you look shorter.
Footwear, I wanna get you simple
white trainers, go with everything.
- And then polos.
- I actually do wear polos.
Oh, you do? Okay. How do you feel
about a pop of color?
I stay with just the darker,
more formal colors.
Not orange, not yellow,
or even a pink?
- I like the dark green.
- Good, me too.
So, let's get you in the fitting room.
Come with me, all right?
- All right. Got it.
- Thank you.
- Okay, AJ.
- All right.
Oh, my God. You are so ripped.
This is your size, this is your fit.
This is it.
I like the shirt,
the pants are too tight.
- Too tight?
- Yes.
- Really?
- If you had baggier jeans,
it just won't go with this
that you have going on here.
Let's talk about the fit.
I wouldn't go any bigger, any smaller.
It shows off your arms.
You've got the body, show it off.
- I like this.
- He's smiling.
- You like the way that you look in this.
- Yeah. I like this.
Good.
This conservative, masculine life
he wants to live,
I think is more what society expects
of him than what he truly feels inside.
I want an outfit that actually represents
the true AJ, who deep down,
truly wants to be the guy who's out.
- It's showing off all of my assets, too.
- That's what you want.
Still conservative. I can do this look.
I know you want to be conservative
and masculine.
However, I don't want that to limit you.
I think a large part of it is,
I do have a better-than-average body,
- so, I do try to hide it.
- Why? I wanna understand.
I associate a lot of gay people
showing off all of their bodies
and, you know,
focusing really hard on their looks.
- Those things don't matter to me.
- He's also conservative in his fashion.
He doesn't wear crazy colors.
You're not into crazy prints.
Yeah, I keep it really simple, it's about
good-fitting jeans and T-shirts.
Sexuality, it's always been
the secondary part of me.
Not that it was unimportant,
but it wasn't at the forefront
of how I present myself.
So, did the way you presented yourself
change after you came out or...?
In my first relationship with a guy,
I certainly experimented a little more.
We went on trips to Mykonos
and I wore brighter colors.
And shorter bathing suits.
- Is that what you wanted?
- I played with it.
I went a little extreme at first,
'cause I thought I had to,
'cause I was immersed in gay culture,
which was so new.
I didn't know gay people before.
Um, I realized,
I took a step back and I was like,
"This isn't me, this doesn't work."
And now there are other parts of me
that are more interesting,
that when I present myself
that sort of come out.
I think we go from one extreme to another
because we're out and we feel like
we should be who we wanna be.
That doesn't mean it's
who you settle into. Find what works.
It doesn't have to be uber-conservative
if that's not who you truly are.
It's not. I like to have fun, I like
to experiment, I like to, you know...
If I had to do it over again,
I'd probably be more true to myself.
Where are we?
You've been saying
you're ready to embark on this journey,
but you have fears.
Telling your stepmother,
coworkers that you're gay.
I wanted to take you somewhere
where you can get over those fears.
- Don't worry. Don't worry.
- I'm scared.
- Hey there, Sean.
- Sean?
Nice to meet you.
Welcome to Treetop Quest.
Ready to zip-line an obstacle course?
- How high are these zip lines?
- Like 40-ish feet.
You conquer the fear.
Exposure therapy's what we call it.
- A little nervous?
- Yeah.
It's the fears that you have that has
kept you from doing what you need to do,
and live your life authentically
and open to others.
You'll conquer that now.
- By throwing me off a cliff? Okay.
- Yes.
AJ, he's one of those individuals that's
so ready to stay in their comfort zone.
Hold this part for me, right here.
I'll take care
of getting your belt tightened.
Anything that's gonna take him out of that
is gonna make him scared,
make him feel fear.
No point of holding on to fear
when you have love for yourself
and a love of a community
that's around you.
- Any last words for Drey before we go?
- Last words?
- We get to go over there?
- Like, where the kids are?
Yeah.
Sorry, homeboy.
This is all you getting challenged today.
You got this. Just leading you to where
it gets easy and smooth sailing.
Oh, heck, no.
You can do it.
- They progressively get scarier.
- Hold it steady. You got it.
- Um...
- Now, this is the test.
Oh!
Good job.
Ah, shoot. Who'd ever think of this?
I'll just jump from the plank.
- Hold on. You know what?
- What?
We need to make this more special
to show you have faith.
How? Oh, wow.
- That's freaky.
- Exactly.
This is it. This is that leap of faith
for your stepmother,
it's that leap of faith for
- Okay.
- a better AJ.
- Wait a minute.
- I got you.
- Right here.
- Where's the edge?
You're near the edge.
Falling can sometimes be hard,
and falling blind can even be harder.
But if he can trust himself
and face that fear,
he's gonna be showing up for himself
in a way he probably never has.
Every time I start, I just wanna like...
Listen. Leap of faith.
This is how OGs do it.
I got you.
- Great job.
- Yeah.
Just like his condo, he's got great bones.
And the way I wanna show him is by
showing him how cool his home can be
to match how cool he is.
Tile looks good. How long you have
till I can start setting the kitchen?
- An hour.
- Thank you.
There wasn't one space in AJ's place
that was being used for what it was
supposed to be used for.
So, I needed to make
every single space function
where he can have sleepovers
with his significant other in the bedroom
and basically really start living his life
as his true self.
I've brought you to see
my barber Sam, he does all my edges.
- What are edges?
- Like, your edges?
Oh, okay.
You didn't know what an edge was?
Jump into the hot seat.
My vision for you is this.
I wanted to see you
with a little temple fade.
- A more of a wave length on top.
- Yeah.
You've been trying to grow the beard in.
I feel like I miss your face.
- Are you telling me to cut my beard?
- I don't wanna get rid of it all.
- Let's shape it up, but keep the shadow.
- Cool.
Here's the thing, I'm just giving AJ
the confidence he needs
to get the F out from behind
that dang beard.
Boy, you're giving me so much sexy
face right now. I can't even handle it.
This is how he always was supposed
to look, always have felt.
Are you ready to see?
Wow.
Face is slay to the gods. Thank you.
Everything is just lit.
I have a chin.
I don't even recognize myself.
You look handsome AF.
Yes. Wow.
Shit, I look sexy.
- You look amazing.
- Thank you.
You're welcome, babe. Aw.
- Hey.
- Hey, Karamo.
You look amazing.
- So do you.
- Tan already dressed you.
- Yeah?
- Phenomenal. Look at your body.
Thank you.
Guys, he's here. Welcome home.
What is this? Oh, my God.
Welcome to your home.
Where am I? This is not my place.
We're on the wrong floor.
This is not mine.
Now you've got an adult man sofa.
You and Drey can lay out,
more room for friends.
You can actually have dinner parties.
And that amazing painting,
- that was your father's.
- Wow.
The black frame, it used to be gold.
I painted it black
because it makes the painting pop.
Down at the bottom left corner,
see the blue?
- Oh, yeah.
- It's your pillows. It's your curtains.
Wow, I keep looking around here
just like there's so much here.
I gave you some more work space
because this kitchen wasn't functional.
- I love the colors, and how you used my...
- Yeah, you had amazing countertops.
- And we put open shelves.
- Oh, my God. This is amazing. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- I love it.
I had a good canvas to work with.
We all did.
- Oh, and you kept my swing.
- I wouldn't get rid of that.
It's unique.
And then in here,
if you don't use this bedroom now...
This is your room. No longer...
- This is me?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God. This is amazing.
- There you go, let it out.
- Let it out.
- You think you can sleep in here now?
- I'm not leaving this room.
You said you slept in there
because you like to be woke up by the sun.
So, I've installed two of these.
And you set it to come on
at a certain time,
and it wakes you up with sunlight.
It's like a...
Oh, man, a piece of art in here.
Your closet not only was unfunctional,
but it made the room feel smaller.
I wanted to give you an exposed closet,
metaphoric.
Yes, queen!
So, that way you keep it organized.
An old door in this cool building
that wasn't being used,
so I turned it into a bookcase.
Put some books, pictures of your family.
My God. Some of these
I haven't even seen before,
like this one of me
and my dad together.
Wow.
I love it.
- It reminds me of home.
- It doesn't remind you of home.
- It is your home.
- Oh, okay.
- You're home.
- Yes. Wow.
This is so much more than I ever
thought it could be. I am overwhelmed.
We're gonna be making
this beautiful spread of
arepas con queso fundido
on grilled vegetables.
Queso is cheese, as you know.
- Fundido, it's melted.
- Yeah, fondue.
Grab one of these.
Put grated cheese, two whole blocks.
You put it in the oven at 400 degrees.
This is gonna take about seven minutes
to cook.
While the cheese is in the oven,
grill some veggies.
Indoor grill pan.
- It's infrared on the sides.
- It's a grill? Wow.
So, you take a bit of oil, a bit of salt.
All right, let's try it out.
That's the sound that I like.
You hear a little sizzle.
This cheese is ready to take out.
And here we have arepas.
So, now you can grab one of those, cheese.
Piece of asparagus,
like, shove that in there.
- That is real good. Mm-hm.
- This is 30 minutes of your life.
When you have friends over for drinks,
it's something they'll talk about.
I can't wait to see
the look on their faces
when they have a meal that I've made.
And I didn't order from somewhere else.
- How's it going?
- Good. Oh, man, I feel great.
- This is amazing.
- So, I know tonight's party
is not only to celebrate your friends,
but it's also for you
- to come out to your stepmom.
- Yes.
I'm feeling good. There's a plan,
I don't wanna put it out just yet.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
I support that. This is all about
how you want to orchestrate your journey
as you start to let these people
into your life.
My energy coming into this,
I wanna just be... Just good.
Just good and light.
And, um, you know, I can't do that
if I potentially think this goes south.
That's what the whole leap of faith was.
Do not let that fear hold you.
Don't let it hold you anymore.
You are the epitome
of what it is to be a strong,
beautiful black gay man.
You know, it's rare that I hear that.
And, you know, it was my father
that really kept lifting me up.
You know, kept encouraging me.
And just those words are something
I haven't heard
in a minute, so it's, um...
Hmm.
I just really needed this.
I really needed to hear it.
- Give me a hug.
- All right.
- Listen, I'm proud of you.
- Yeah.
- You've no idea how proud I am of you.
- Thank you.
When it comes to edges,
for guys that are a bit scared
of edge work,
haven't done it, the important thing
to remember is when you go like...
You're committing to making a new line.
That's where you can hurt yourself.
You have such a clean line to follow.
All I would do is come in
and work up to the line,
once you get close to it, let it go.
And then, for your chin,
the rule of thumb here is,
put your finger on your Adam's apple,
that's where your line should start.
That's just for your own maintenance.
When you need
to get it cleaned up over your ears
and you need to get work done,
that's when you go in to Sam.
This is your closet.
There's no hidden doors.
I'm done with the doors.
Everything is nice and neat,
and it has to be
'cause it's out in the open.
Getting dressed should be this easy.
A pair of jeans and something else
to complement it, a top,
which is a T-shirt, a polo,
a button-up shirt.
I've given you a lot of color.
- Ready to try on clothes?
- Yes.
Karamo, your lashes are open.
Did you get a perm?
- Did you get a lash perm?
- There's a lash perm?
- Ready for the first look?
- Yeah.
AJ, come on out.
You're gonna love this outfit.
Whoa!
- Yeah, you model one.
- Hey!
Come on.
Yeah!
Yes, daddy.
You look sexy as hell.
Gorgeous, slippery and sloppy.
- Honey.
- What you think?
That looks so big and gorgeous.
You know what I mean?
Kind of like that.
I love that you refuse to smile
the whole time.
I like that better.
I feel like you've been communicating
with your pecs.
- It feels good just to pop one.
- Totally, pop it.
- Stop the ogling, next look, a real one.
- Yes.
I'm still sweaty, I need a soda.
- That made you really uncomfortable?
- No,
just made me feel...
Want anything to drink? Is anyone thirsty?
I didn't make any money.
- All right.
- All right.
- Boys, you ready?
- Yes, honey.
- Yeah. The little smile.
- Oh, you look phenomenal.
Let me tell you why we've done it
this way. It's conservative.
But he wants a look
that takes him to his job.
He's on a construction site.
Don't want anything crazy.
We still want him to look cool,
but conservative.
Then he wants to go to a bar or a club,
or whatever else.
- Here's a way of doing it where...
- Yes, God, yes.
he's still keeping his style, his swag,
and I would happily tap that
at the bar or club.
He'd be the first guy I'd go up to.
Fantastic.
- Really?
- Yeah, man. Oh, my God, yeah, man.
- Thank you.
- You look amazing, truly you do.
When this week started, I expected
more of an external transformation.
But what I didn't realize was
this was a transformation inside.
I just wanna thank you, guys.
My life is forever changed.
And you guys have made, like,
a hard situation so much better.
I never want people to feel like that
they're not gay enough or straight enough.
It's about what's in your heart.
What's in your heart is like...
You are amazing, just the way you are.
Hearing your stories
that you've been through the same thing,
and you guys survived.
So, I'll probably survive, too.
- No problem.
- You'll thrive.
There's no right or wrong way to be gay.
No right or wrong way to come out.
It's your journey,
do it the way you wanna do it.
It is time for us to go.
Oh! Been such a fun week.
Enjoy your new home. Have fun tonight.
- I'm so proud of you.
- Bye, we'll miss you.
AJ, you kill it!
- Love you the best. Bye-bye.
- Bye, guys.
- We need to watch AJ.
- Yes.
- Antoni, will you get me a drink?
- Uh-huh.
- He's probably freaking.
- He was.
- Oh, AJ. You're not worried.
- Thank you.
- Let's see our baby AJ.
- Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I love this peach on him.
Maybe he wants
to wear the tank top.
You can't really, like, come out
in a wife-lover tanky to your mom.
We can tell this is our first gay
because he's taking forever to get ready.
Let's see, what would Tan do?
What would Tan do?
- This is massive, what he's doing.
- Yes.
It's not about the outfit,
it's about what he'll do.
Yeah.
- I love a man in the kitchen.
- He even put an apron on.
- I know.
- I didn't even tell him that.
It's like a dang farmer's market in there.
Aw...
Your future hubby's at the door.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What's up?
- Walk me through.
- All right.
Show me everything. Love the colors.
Some color in here.
- Look at the curtains.
- Sensible TV.
- Making use of the space.
- Check out the couch.
The bed has gone.
It's a real living space.
Aw...
I love them together.
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?
Look at you, all clean-shaven.
- Twirl, do a twirl.
- Let me see your jeans.
- You don't look like an insurance man.
- Old skinty jeans.
Let me give you guys the grand tour.
Oh, wow.
This is...
This is me right here.
I think I'm gonna cry.
- Look at these.
- Look.
- You actually get to sleep in your room?
- This one doesn't move.
Oh.
- Come on, freak.
- Tell us more about that.
Is something burning?
I hear it beeping over... What?
- What is that?
- What that might be?
It's my arepas.
Let it cool a little bit.
I don't know how to act really
'cause I've never seen you cook, ever.
I thought it was unwise
to have the friends there,
- but they calm him.
- That is his best group of friends.
AJ, we are so proud of you
for going through this.
We love and support anything that you do,
but we hope you will transform
from the inside out. The out is fabulous.
I know.
So, to AJ, to friends and lovers.
- Fuck the others. Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Can you help me?
- Yes.
Thank you. Grill some veggies
and add the veggies into that.
- So, are you in charge of cooking now?
- Well, I have gotten special instructions.
- This is called grilling vegetables.
- Okay.
Hey. How you doing?
- I brought tamales.
- Thank you, thank you.
Give me a hug.
- This is my friends.
- Hi.
- How you doing?
- Haide brought tamales.
- I'm Marcus.
- Haide, nice to meet you.
- Haide.
- Andre, nice to meet you.
I don't think she realizes
he's his partner.
- She doesn't.
- He's introducing both of his worlds.
I love your kitchen. It's nice.
- Did you see the, uh...?
- Yeah, I see the frame of it.
- I see, like, the colors more bright.
- Yeah.
More dramatic.
Oh, my gosh. Look at this.
- Yeah.
- Look at all those pictures.
Nice.
Yeah. I wish Dad were here
to see it, though.
I think about it every day,
and I miss him a lot,
and...
Like, I wish I would have talked
to him more, and, you know...
- I know he's proud of you.
- Yeah.
It's okay. It's okay.
All right.
Well, I wrote a letter that...
you know, I felt like me,
sort of just talking to him,
like he can hear.
Can I read the letter that I wrote to him?
- Yes.
- Okay. All right.
I'd love to.
Okay.
"Dear Dad... it hasn't rained in a week,
but as I reflect on you,
the sky has suddenly opened
and poured out everything
it can no longer hold.
Yesterday and countless other days,
I am overwhelmed by emotion
and it, too, pours out.
Through it all, I know you would want me
to live my fullest life,
carrying on your name and legacy
even further than you did.
And if what people say is true,
our loved ones really do look down on us
from heaven.
Then you already know
that I'm well on my way...
being what you want of me.
If what people say is true,
then you also know that I am gay.
These three words have been
an enormous wall between us.
I'm sorry for not tearing down the wall
sooner.
You were an incredible dad
and didn't deserve to be left out.
Love, your son."
So...
I thought it was important
to tell you, um, my truth
that I am gay.
I wish I could share this moment with Dad
and see how happy...
Happy I am.
And...
I'm happy for you.
- I'm sorry for keeping it from you.
- That's fine.
But the past six or seven years,
they've been... a trying time for me.
I've dealt with so much stuff
that I couldn't talk about.
And I shouldn't have hid it from you.
I don't think I would have been here today
if I didn't have some of the people,
friends and family like you.
Not being honest and, um...
I mean, I can't be just like...
I don't know, it just felt like a lie.
I don't have much family here,
and you are my family
and I don't wanna lose you.
Oh, you won't.
I'm always gonna be there for you.
- You are?
- Like I know you gonna be here for me.
Yes.
Okay, I'm relieved.
- Come on.
- Thank you.
Good job.
Do you know I have a boyfriend?
No.
- I'm very happy.
- Is he here?
He's here.
I just feel really good about him.
And I'm thinking about
possibly getting married, maybe.
- This is supposed to be a party.
- Okay.
Let me get myself together.
Okay. Thank you.
This changes everything.
Hello.
- That's him?
- Yeah.
- Is that him?
- Yeah.
This is Andre.
Nice to meet you...
I feel like I've made a lot of stride
towards my truer self.
Just get that weight off my shoulders,
'cause that was very oppressive
for a very long time.
Now I just live my life
because I'm worth it.
- What?!
- What?
- He's taken it from one to 100 with her.
- Yeah.
I can't tell you the feeling I have
to see AJ on this journey.
I'm so proud of him.
I just really hope that AJ knows
that who he is... is so phenomenal
and that it's going to inspire people
to be their authentic self.
We all know that feeling,
that conversation,
so we know how big this was.
So, cheers to him.
- Yeah, cheers, cheers to AJ.
- Cheers. Yeah.
Coming out is really hard,
even for me.
Did I get chased with pitchforks?
Absolutely.
Did it make me a really hard worker?
For sure.
Was I the first male cheerleader
in my high school's history? Uh-huh.
Did that go over well?
Yes.
No, it didn't, it was a mess.