Quantum Leap (1989–1993): Season 2, Episode 7 - Thou Shalt Not... - February 2, 1974 - full transcript

Sam leaps into a rabbi to prevent his host's sister-in-law from falling for a sleazy author.

Leaping back as a deejay in 1959,

I got to rock out with an up-and-coming
singer named Chubby Checker.

But not everybody wanted
to "twist the night away."

So I was here to fight for
freedom of expression...

no matter what form it took.

And just when I was getting
into the groove of things,

the Big Bopper decided
I should change my tune.

And today,
Karen Basch is a bat mitzvah.

Rabbi. Nu?

Oy vey, I'm the rabbi.

Rabbi. Hi.

Hi. How you doin'?

Oh, Rabbi, I don't think you
know my husband, Harold.

- Uh.
- Say hello, Harold.

Of course I know your
husband, Harold.

- Have a good time. Okay.
- Thank you.

The Basch family would like to welcome
you all on this joyous occasion...

and ask that you join them
in the traditional breaking of the bread.

So, Rabbi Basch, would you join
your brother on the stage...

and lead us all in the blessing
over the bread?

Sam, say that.

- Omeyn.
- Omeyn.

- Take a hunk out of the bread.
- Uh-huh.

Little bite.

That was good.

- How'd you know that?
- Hmm?

Oh, my fourth wife, Ru... Oh, no, sorry.
My third wife, Ruthie, was Jewish.

She taught me the basics.
Course, the more complicated stuff,

the weddings and the circumcision,
uh, you're on your own with that.

- Circumcisions?
- Mm, yeah.

Look at Rabbi Basch.
What is he doing?

What's with the rabbi?

Uh, I don't know.

Who cares?
Are you gonna eat the knish?

- Put that down.
- Leave me alone.

David, it's time for you
to lead the hora.

Oh, the hora.
Sam, I love the hora.

I saw Fiddler On the Roof five times.

I hope you never leap in
as a Rockette.

Now, follow me.
Do what I do, okay?

Joe. Hey, great party.

- Thanks for inviting me.
- It's my pleasure.

Gee, I haven't seen you much
down at the beach this past year.

Yeah. Yeah, I buy a second house,
I never get a chance to use it.

Well, you can always use it
as a tax write-off.

Hi, Irene.

- Hi, Bert.
- Thanks.

Rabbi, it was a fascinating
sermon this morning.

I'd love to be able to quote you
in the new book I'm writing.

Sure. Uh, why not? Huh!

- Joe, have you seen Karen?
- There she is.

Ohh. Oh!
She's with Michael Kornbloom.

I think she likes him.

Joe, would you like
to dance with me?

No. Not now, Irene.



You should've danced with her.

Is that advice from my brother
or my rabbi?

Because I don't need it
from either.


I'm sorry.

I told ya I haven't
danced for years.

No, it-it's okay, Bert, really.
You're fine.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

He's been a widower for two years.

A man shouldn't grieve
for that length of time.

- Especially one his age.
- He's been tryin' to get over it.

- How do you know?
- Uh, w-well, you can tell just by, uh,

lookin' at him.

Such a waste,
especially for a man...

who's so good... hearted.

Uh, uh, please, Rabbi, sit.

- Oh, well, I've gotta go.
- Me too.

I'll talk to you later, Shirl.

- Rabbi, lovely service.
- Oh, thank you.

Rabbi, I have to talk to you.

- Now?
- Eh, tomorrow.

I don't wanna disturb your dinner.

Say, noonish?

Fine. Noon-Noonish.

Oh, Sam, look at this food.

God, I wish a hologram could eat.

Look at that. Creamed herring,
lox, bagels, knishes.

Over here's gefilte fish.
Ruthie made the best gefilte fish.

- You should try some of that.
- Yeah, I-I'll just...

Put a little
horseradish on it. It's fantastic.

Okay. I'll just stick
to the roast chicken.

You don't know what
you're missing, Sam.

Al, what I'm missing
is why I'm here.

I mean, I came here for
more than lunch, didn't I?

Yeah. Sure.
You came here for her.

- "Her" who?
- "Her" her.


She's about to destroy her life.

According to Ziggy,

in the year...



Oh, it's Jewish years. Ha-ha!

Yeah. Okay. Uh, in 36 hours
she's gonna ruin her life...

by... having a one-night stand?


Her husband finds out and
it destroys their marriage,

and her daughter
never gets over it.

- I can't believe that.
- Neither can I.

What's wrong with a good
old-fashioned one-night stand?

Unless you're married.

I'm saying it's hard for me to believe
that Irene would be unfaithful.

Why? If she was...

And then he was...
And then if they both, you know, were...

Well, trust me. It can happen.

- What ya got here?
- It's from Michael Kornbloom.

Tony Orlando & Dawn
on an eight-track tape?

You're gonna get a lot of use
out of this. What's this?

A puka-shell necklace.

Oh, I think this guy likes you.

- Daddy.
- Hmm?

Did you see what
Michael Kornbloom got me?

Michael Kornbloom.
Bobby Kornbloom's little brother?

Geez, Bobby used to come over here
all the time. You ever see him?

- I think he's away at Yale now.
- That's right. He was going to Yale too.

Aw, damn. I forgot to fill
up, and the tank is on empty.

What time is it? Oh!

Well, if I don't fill up today, I'm gonna
have to wait in line Monday morning.

The gas shortage.

Yeah, it's a real pain in the
butt, isn't it?

Karen, tell your mother that I've,
uh, gone to the gas station.

Can I come with you?

To the gas station?
Why would you wanna do that?

David, come on.

I'll see ya later.

- We're eight, maybe nine back.
- Ah, it's no big deal.

Just a good excuse
to get out of the house.

Why would you want an excuse
to get out of the house?

Ah, you know.

So, what'd you think of the UCLA game?
It was pretty wild, huh?

I, uh... I missed it.

You, David Basch, missed Bill
Walton's first loss in three years?

Geez, when we were kids,
we would've killed to see that.

You remember all those nights
Dad'd pack us in the car...

and take us to the Pavilion?

And he'd buy us the hot dogs,
the T-shirts, whatever we wanted...

just as long as the Bruins won.

Dad and his sons.

He was sure proud.

You know somethin'?
I almost can.

That's what life's all about...

taking your son
to a basketball game.

You ever take Karen?

- To a basketball game? No.
- Well, she might like it.

Naw, it's not the same with a girl.

How about Irene?

Well, we used to go.

We don't go anymore.

We don't do anything anymore.

In fact,

for the first time in 22 years,

I've been thinking about
having an affair.

I don't think he meant it.
He just was upset.

Well, maybe they both should have one.
Get it out of their system.

Have an affair? Be unfaithful?

Well, sometimes I think
fidelity is highly overrated.

Uh, nobody
looks at the downside.

There's a downside
to being faithful?

Of course.
It discourages social interaction.

Look, Sam, if all the men
in all the world could freely...

socialize with all the women in all
the world, there would be no war.

- Until their wives found out.
- Good point.

- Hmm.
- Well, maybe your mission here...

isn't to keep, uh, Irene or Joe
from having an affair.

It's just to see that
neither of them finds out...

- about the other one.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.

Fidelity is the basis
of a good relationship.

Course, I couldn't expect you
to understand that, could I?

My relationships have all been good.

It's my marriages
that haven't worked out.



I heard talking.
I thought you were in here with Joe.

No, I just, um... was praying.

Always the rabbi.

Oh, I wish I had your faith.

So do I.

- Well, I better set the table.
- Want me to help you?

No. No, no.
You go out there. You relax.

- This is my temple.
- Okay.

- "Sushi"?
- No, "sushi."

- Nice try, but that's not a word.
- What do you mean, it's not...


"Hose." A big six points.

Are you letting me win?

No way. It's just...
I got lousy letters...

all vowels, no consonants.


- Uncle David?
- Hmm?

Do you ever wanna get married?


uh, I have kind of an unusual lifestyle.

But someday, um, I want to, yeah.

Do you ever think about it?

Who she'll be?
What she'll look like?

Do you?

All the time.

I'm gonna marry someone very cute,

someone who laughs a lot
and has fun.


who never yells.

- Don't tell anyone, okay?
- No, no. I won't.

Wow. You play?

Karen, what's wrong?

That's Danny's guitar.


- The meat's a little tough, isn't it, Joe?
- No, it's fine.

No. You can say.
It's a little tough.

- It's that, uh, new butcher on, um...
- Irene, the meat is fine.

I can go back to Glicksman's.
Mother, he said it's fine!

Karen, don't use
that tone of voice with me.

It was my fault.
Um, I think I upset Karen...

when I wanted to play...
Danny's guitar.

It's all right, Uncle David.

Well, maybe it's
time someone played it.


- It's been a year, Joe.
- I don't wanna talk about it.

- It's time we set the headstone.
- Headstone?

- Irene.
- David,

will you be conducting
the ceremony,

or should Joe and I
prepare something to say?

- I said, I don't want to discuss it.
- It's important.

Damn it!
Just drop it!

They'd lost a son.
This family was being torn apart...

because no one wanted
to deal with Danny's death.

Would anyone mind
if I spent the night?

They're, uh, fumigating
over at my... place.

Of course not.

Is this, uh, where I'm sleeping?

It's the only extra bed.

Would you like a...
soft pillow or a firm pillow?

Uh, f... Uh, f-firm, please.

Danny loved this room.

Of course, he said he couldn't wait
to leave to go to Yale, but he loved it.

He brought a lot of
friends up here, and...

when he was 16, he said he wanted
to bring girls up in here.

I said, "No."

I mean, girls here?

"What's the matter, Mom?
Don't you trust me?"

"You, I trust.
It's the girls I'm worried about!"

And he laughed.

Do you remember his laugh,

- He had a great laugh.
- Yeah.

I couldn't say no to Danny when he laughed.
Not when he laughed.

He laughed when I told him
that Joe and I were nervous...

about he and Mark
going backpacking alone in Europe.

I had to talk Joe into letting him go.
I had to.

Danny loved you for that.

Do you think he loved me
when the plane crashed?

Oh, David.

Do you think he was thinking
of me when he was dying?

He loved you, Irene.

He loved you
when you were with him.

You'll always be with him.

Oh, God.

I killed... I...

I killed him. I killed him. I ki...

- No. No.
- I killed my Danny!

No, you didn't kill him.
The accident killed him.

It's not your fault.

- Joe thinks so.
- Joe is wrong.

Did you want a firm pillow, right?

Uh, yeah, f-firm. That'd be great.

I'll get it. It's, uh, I-in the closet.

My God, it's me.

I'm Irene's lover.

I don't believe this. I'm the one?

I'm Irene's lover?
How could this happen?

Well, if she gives ya a little
wink, and you put the glom on her...

Al, I'm being serious.
What am I gonna do now?


- Nothing?
- Nothing.

You're Irene's future lover, right?

- Right.
- Well, don't do it,

and promise... that you won't
have an affair with Irene.

- I promise.
- Okay. No problem.

Let's leap.

I'm not going anywhere.

Try clicking your heels
together three times and saying,

- "There's no place like home."
- Figured this was too easy.

Is Irene falling
in love with me?

I don't know.
I think she's falling in need with you.

I think she needs for you to...

to help her get back to
the man she really loves.

- Joe.
- Yeah.

And to keep the family together.

You know, I think that's what it's about.
It's about family.

I... I never realized...

how much family meant to me
until after Ruthie was gone.

I know what you mean, Al.

You know, sometimes I wish
I could go home, but I... can't.

Then all I have is what I can remember,
which... is not a whole hell of a lot.

What you've got is here now...
right here, right now.

This is your family.
This is your home for now.

So don't let it fall apart.

Make it work, Sam.

No, no. Karen, please.
Put the knishes over there. Okay?

I don't even know why I'm here.

You are here because
I need your help.

- Need a hand?
- Bert.

It's kugel.

Aha. It looks great too.

Yeah, my-my wife, Delores,
used to make it for me.

As a matter of fact, uh, I haven't
had any of this since she died.

- I'll make you one.
- Oh, you don't have to do that.

I'll buy this one. How much?

Well, it's for charity,
so you can give whatever you want.

Well, you're... you're always
doing something, aren't you?

I like to keep busy.

I know what you mean.
After my wife died I...

I just plunged myself
totally into writing.

What's your book about?

Well, actually, it deals with
something we both have in common...

the loss of a loved one.

You know, it-it just occurred
to me that maybe if we talked

you might be able to
contribute something.

No, really, Bert.
I'm very uncomfortable about that.

I understand. I mean, I thought it
would be difficult, too, but, uh,

I found it to be
very therapeutic.

Uh, that's a professional opinion
coming from a nonprofessional.

Your mother looks like
she's enjoying herself.

At least one of us is.

Karen, she could use
some support.

I thought that's what
husbands were for.

Karen, come on.

Oh, help! Somebody, please, help!

Help, someone!

Oh, my gosh!

You all right?
Oh, thank you, Rabbi, thank you.

Are you all right, Dr. Heimlich?

Uh, Rabbi, it's 12:00.

Our appointment, remember?

- Uh...
- Uh, yeah. Right.

Um, is there somewhere we could go
that's a little more private?

Now, what did you want
to, uh, see me about?

Rabbi, it was all my fault.

Your fault?

It was right after my father died,
and Howard,

he just didn't understand.

Howard, your husband?


I've been married
to him for 17 years.

Now I can't look at him.
I can't talk to him.

Ohh, Rabbi.

He seemed to know
exactly what I was thinking,

- what I was feeling.
- Howard?

- No, Bert.
- Bert?

Rabbi, I had an affair
with Bert Glasserman.


Here, here, here.

Thank you.

He-He said he was
doing research for his book,

and it just got out of hand.

Rabbi, what should I do?

I think we should set up
another appointment.


Here, let me help you with that.
Oh, thank you.

Looks like the bake
sale was a big success.

Oh, we made twice
as much as last year.

That's great.

David, I wanna thank you
for last night.

- Last night?
- For listening.

Oh, well, that's, um...
that's what a rabbi is for.

Oh, you're not just my rabbi.

Look, Irene...

No, David, you're my
brother-in-law and my friend,

and if it wasn't for you I don't know
where Joe and I would be right now.

It's been hard.

I know.

Sometimes it just feels hopeless.

You know what I think? I think you
and Joe need some time together.

You should go away,
just the two of you.

We haven't been to the beach house
for over a year. I loved that place.

- We were such a family there.
- Why don't you go this weekend?

Oh, I can't.
What about Karen?

I'll take care of her.

Thank you... again.

- Okay, is that it?
- Mm-hmm.

What's all this?

Well, you and I are
going to the beach house,

- and David is staying with Karen.
- It's a surprise.

Irene, you should've
discussed this with me.

- I can't go away this weekend.
- Why not?

'Cause I have too much to do.
I... I brought work home.

- Well, bring it along. I don't mind.
- Well, I do.

Joe, please.

Irene, don't you get it?

I don't want to go out there.

But you've always loved the beach.

Irene, if you wanna go, go!
But I am staying home.

Irene doesn't want to go to the beach
alone. She wants to be with you.

If she wants to be with me,
she can stay home.

Joe, she doesn't wanna be alone.

She-She wants to be with
you in a different atmosphere.

Will you just listen, Joe?
David understands.

David understands?

Well, if he's so smart,
why didn't you marry him?

Maybe I should have.

Joe, listen...

I wish Mom had married you too,
Uncle David.

Don't say that, Karen.

She, um...

Your father loves you
and your mother very much.

No, he doesn't.

He loves Danny.

I hate him for dying!

- I wish it was me.
- Don't say that.

Why doesn't Daddy love me?

He does. Karen, he just...

Ah, right now...

your Dad needs you to love him just
as much as you need him to love you.


I love you, Uncle David.

You know, it's... it's gettin' late.

You don't want Michael Kornbloom to
see you with bags under your eyes, huh?

- Good night.
- You better get some sleep.

- Good night.
- I love you.

How's it goin', Sam?

Ohh, not so good.

Yeah, well, it's gonna get worse.

- Bert Glasserman?
- Exactly.

The guy's a real slime-ball.

In the first place,
he's not a widower.

- His wife is still alive?
- He was never even married.

He just uses that
to get women for his research.

- For the book.
- Yeah. I read the stupid thing.

It was a best seller in '75
called Women In Pain.

- Ah!
- Irene is chapter six.

Whatever you do,
don't let her get near that yutz.


It's late. Go to bed.

Oh, Karen. Do you know
where your Uncle David went?

He asked for directions
to the beach house.

Sometimes I actually expect to see Danny
come running through that door,

covered in sand,
looking for something to eat.

But he never will again.

Never again.

I know how you feel, Irene. I...

I felt the same way
after my Delores died...

a void,

an emptiness in my life that...

that I thought
could never be filled.

In fact, for a long time, I...

I blamed myself for her death.

I blame myself too.

It takes a long time to heal,

if one ever does.

No. No, don't.

You've been through so much.

You need someone who...
who understands.

Someone who...
can feel your pain.

This is wrong.

It's... It's all right
to feel good, Irene...

to smile, to laugh,

to love,

and to be loved.

I have never done this before.

I know, I know. Neither have I.

- David.
- Could I come in?

Bert saw my lights on,

and, um, he came over.

- We've been talking.
- About your dead wife?

Well, it-it came up.

- We've both had tragic losses.
- Only hers was real.

What do you mean?

Bert never lost a wife,
because he's never been married.

- It's all a lie.
- What?

It's-It's not what you think,
Irene. I...

I try to identify with the women that I
interview... to feel what they feel...

- so that I can write from the heart.
- There have been others?

Well, it-it's not criminal to try
and understand female emotions.

- Emotional rape is a crime.
- This isn't rape. It-It's research.

- Well, I will not be researched!
- Irene, I...

- Uh!
- Irene, Irene. That's enough.

Now, look, Rabbi...

Oh, David,

I'm so ashamed.

There's nothing
to be ashamed of.

I just wanted someone
to talk to, and...

- Oh, God, I feel like such a fool.
- Shh, shh, shh. It's all right.

My brother and my wife.
I should have known.

- Joe, look...
- I don't wanna hear it!

Joe. Joe, look, I'm not gonna
let you walk away from this.

Were you eyeing her at my dinner table?
Did it happen in my home?

You don't know what
you're talking about.

Little Davey,
always the smart one.

Always the best.
You always got what you want.

Well, not my wife, David.
Not my wife!

Sam, he hit you!

That's great!
That means he still loves her.

- Let him hit ya again.
- Look, Joe...

I got ya, Sam.

- Uhh!
- I don't got ya, Sam.

- Come on. Get up! Fight me!
- Stop fighting!

Get up. Come on. Get up. Fight me!
Come on, come on. Fight me!

- No. Uhh!
- Joe, just stop! You're hurting him!

- Irene, I'll never forgive you for this!
- For this or for Danny?

I mean, that's what this is
really all about isn't it, Joe?

You know Irene and I
are not having an affair.

You've never forgiven her
for letting Danny go to Europe.

You think she wanted
him to die on that plane?

You're punishing her for something
she could have never prevented.

Then why does she keep
vacuuming his bedroom?

Cooking his favorite foods?
My son is gone!

And I don't understand why she
keeps vacuuming his damn bedroom!

When I sit in his room,

he's there.

He's at college or on vacation,
but he's there.

I feel him.

I keep driving...

past the park...

where he played little league,

and I see him sometimes
out in left field...


He's waving to me.

I loved him, Irene.
Oh, and he's gone.

- Oh!
- I know.

I know. I loved him too.

He was so good.
He was so smart.

He was so...
He was so alive.

Oh, God, I miss him so!

- I do too, Joe. I do too.
- I miss him.

Can you still love me?

- Can you?
- I will always love you.

Good, Sam.
You can really take a punch.

Mazel tov.

Uh, Bert Glasserman's book never
made it to the best-seller list.

Irene told someone named Bonnie
Teller about Bert's techniques,

and the-the word spread
like wildfire.

Six libel suits later,

the publisher yanked the book
before it ever hit the stands.

And Bert, he's got a life sentence
with a shrink.

- What about Irene and Joe?
- Uhh...

Oh, well, they wrote
a book themselves,

and it helped parents all over the country
deal with the loss of a child.

So I'd say it was a job well
done, my boy.

Leap in good health.

Go ahead. Bon voyage.
Auf Wiedersehen.

- Shalom.
- I don't think so.

- Omeyn.
- Omeyn.



You should go to her.

- I just... I don't know if I can.
- She needs you.

You lost a son, Joe.
Don't lose a daughter too.


Oh, Daddy, I love you.

I love you too.
I love you too.

Oh, baby.

I love you so.

Now, Sam?


I got you. You're dead.

Jimbo! What're you doin'?

Cory, get out of here. Jimmy's
supposed to be gettin' ready for work.

Look at you.
You're not even dressed yet.

Don't wanna be late
for this interview,

'cause I had to pull
some strings to get it.

So come on, come on.
Move it or lose it.

Oh, Jimmy.

If Mr. Samuels asks,
you're not retarded.

You're just slow.


Hurry up.

I'm retarded?