QI (2003–…): Season 8, Episode 8 - Hypothetical - full transcript

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[Events]
Format: Marked, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:30.16,0:00:31.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, hello!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:31.76,0:00:39.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello, hello, hello, hello,\Nhello, and welcome to QI,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:39.00,0:00:43.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,where we bring you a television\Nfirst - a quiz show with no answers.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:43.00,0:00:45.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, tonight we depart from\Nthe certainties of
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:45.52,0:00:49.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,everyday life to explore the realm\Nof hypothetical questions.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:49.92,0:00:51.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Or do we?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:51.40,0:00:57.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a job for only the very\Nfinest minds, by which I mean\Nthe potential Johnny Vegas...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:57.16,0:01:00.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:00.56,0:01:03.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..the possible Sandi Toksvig...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:03.20,0:01:06.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:06.60,0:01:09.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..and the increasingly-unlikely\NAlan Davies.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:09.84,0:01:12.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:14.52,0:01:20.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, tonight is\Nthe 99th recording of QI,\Nand to celebrate, we have with us
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:20.16,0:01:23.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the man who thought it all up\Nin the first place.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:23.52,0:01:27.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He can dish it out, but let's see\Nif he can take it. Mr John Lloyd!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:27.92,0:01:29.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:31.84,0:01:36.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They all have\Nappropriately-quizzical buzzers.\NSandi goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:36.04,0:01:39.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,'Erm.' ..Johnny goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:39.52,0:01:44.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,'Hmm.' ..John goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:44.00,0:01:47.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,'Ooh, erm.' ..and Alan goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:47.04,0:01:50.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,'Oh, sir, sir! I know! Me, sir!'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:50.64,0:01:56.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, as if! And let's\Nopen our minds now to\Nthe possibilities of question one.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:56.48,0:02:02.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the best way to\Nweigh your own head?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:05.04,0:02:06.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Any thoughts?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:06.56,0:02:10.08,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, cut it off, obviously,\Nwould be the most accurate way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:10.08,0:02:13.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, then someone else could\Nweigh it, but you couldn't, you see?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:13.52,0:02:15.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON BLARES
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:16.00,0:02:20.72,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That would be the problem.\NYou wouldn't... You introduced us,\Nand you normally introduce me last.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:20.72,0:02:25.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. It slightly caught me out,\Nand I was applauding myself. Oh!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:26.40,0:02:32.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Alan Davies!" I was\Napplauding myself insincerely!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:33.52,0:02:36.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what Soviet leaders do,\Nisn't it? Or chimpanzees.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:36.88,0:02:40.24,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,One or the other. One or the other.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:40.24,0:02:44.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Why would you want to weigh\Nyour own head? It's a boys' thing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:44.16,0:02:47.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine a woman married to\Na scientist, she's wormed the dog
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:47.08,0:02:51.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and fed the children\Nand got everything sorted and\Nher husband gets home and says,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:51.24,0:02:54.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"Good news, dear -\NI've weighed my own head."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:54.04,0:02:57.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It may not seem the most useful\Nthing to do, but it employs
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:57.72,0:03:00.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,interesting scientific ideas\Non which we all depend.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:00.96,0:03:05.24,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it that thing...?\NDavid Frost used to tell\Nthat joke for years and years.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:05.24,0:03:10.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you want to lose\N12lbs of unsightly fat?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:10.60,0:03:12.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Cut off your head.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:12.48,0:03:15.72,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that his joke?\NHe used to tell that a lot, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:15.72,0:03:19.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What is one of\Nthe most famous ancient moments\Nof scientific discovery?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:19.64,0:03:25.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it Archimedes in the bath?\NArchimedes in the bath. What did\NArchimedes do, and why did he...?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:25.40,0:03:27.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Just put your head in a bucket?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:27.36,0:03:30.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, right. Is that right?\NI have no idea.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:30.40,0:03:32.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Join in!\NI was going to weigh meself -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:32.96,0:03:34.76,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,go to the swimming baths, right,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:34.76,0:03:38.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and bob, and then get people to\Nfeed me until I sank.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:40.08,0:03:44.76,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Then come back out and\Nweigh meself again, yeah?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:44.76,0:03:47.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It sounds much more scientific!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:47.28,0:03:50.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,So by displacement of the water,\Nyou can tell?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:50.76,0:03:54.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, take a bucket of water,\Nand you drop your head in,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:54.20,0:03:59.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and because water and the density\Nof your head are about the same,\Nyou get a very close approximation
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:59.68,0:04:01.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,by the water that you displace.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:01.40,0:04:05.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You could put apples in to make it\Nfun. You could bob for apples, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:05.56,0:04:08.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And what did your head weigh\Nwhen you tried this?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:08.64,0:04:11.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What would you say is\Nthe average weight?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:11.08,0:04:15.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The University of Sydney has\Na department where they weigh heads\Nquite a lot,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:15.28,0:04:18.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and they have a pretty good average.\NBy dunking them in buckets?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:18.60,0:04:21.80,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't actually dunk them\Nin buckets. Is it 12lbs?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:21.80,0:04:27.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's four and a half to five kilos,\Nwhich is...? That's 2.2 kilos,\Nsomething like that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:27.48,0:04:30.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Not far... Yeah, 2.2...\NIt's about 12lbs.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:30.92,0:04:32.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, about 12lbs. Well done.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:32.40,0:04:34.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll give you\Nthe point for 12lbs, John.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:34.48,0:04:37.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I've negotiated\Nsome points! Yeah!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:37.32,0:04:40.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Surely you should give\Nthose points to David Frost!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:40.32,0:04:45.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,If only he hadn't cut his head off!\NWhat if you get\Nan air pocket in your ears?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:45.20,0:04:47.12,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A pocket? You know, the air pockets.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:47.12,0:04:49.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. But the air cavities\Nare cancelled out...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:49.68,0:04:52.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Take your fingers out -\Nyou won't hear the answer.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:54.28,0:04:56.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:58.12,0:05:03.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The bones. You have bones\Nthat are denser than water and air\Npockets that are lighter than water.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:03.24,0:05:08.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And together, it does seem that\Nthe head averages about water,\Nso it's a good displacement test.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:08.96,0:05:14.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But there is a modern piece of\Ntechnology that can do it to\Nfrightening degrees of accuracy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:14.08,0:05:18.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Bound to be a laser\Nor something like that.\NNo, it's a CAT scan, a CT,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:18.56,0:05:23.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and they can tell the density of\Nevery little tiniest part\Nof the brain and the skull
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:23.76,0:05:29.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and all the rest of it\Nand tot it all up. My dad's got\Nheavy eyes. Has he now?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:29.04,0:05:31.40,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:31.40,0:05:35.92,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You've weighed his eyes?\NNo, we've not weighed 'em, but he's\Nvery fearful of leaning forward.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:35.92,0:05:37.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is he?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:37.68,0:05:42.84,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, he doesn't like\Nleaning forward because he thinks\Nthey're going to come out.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:42.84,0:05:46.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Are they on springs,\Nlike those things you can buy?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:46.08,0:05:50.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,No! We got rid of Novelty Dad!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:50.48,0:05:53.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This is Mental Dad! Right!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:53.08,0:05:57.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,My grandfather had\Ntwo glass eyes, and yet he could see.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:57.52,0:06:03.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So what happened was sad,\Nhe lost one eye - he wasn't\Ncareless, he was ill -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:03.28,0:06:06.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and he had a glass eye made\Nwhich was exactly like
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:06.64,0:06:08.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,his other perfectly-working\Nblue Scandinavian eye,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:08.48,0:06:14.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and then he had one made that was\Nbloodshot, and it was known as\NGrandpa's party eye.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:14.28,0:06:17.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He kept it on the mantelpiece.\NWhen he was going out,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:17.36,0:06:21.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,he'd take out the false one\Nand he'd put in the bloodshot one
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:21.04,0:06:26.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and he'd say, "I'm going out now and\NI shan't be back till they match."\NOh, that's brilliant!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:26.64,0:06:32.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Absolutely brilliant! Fantastic!\NAPPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:32.12,0:06:35.36,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought he had\Ntwo glass eyes like that!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:35.36,0:06:41.32,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Did he have a hole at the back\Nwhere somebody put their hand?\NWas your granddad Nookie Bear?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:41.32,0:06:44.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,On the subject of heads, do you know\Nanything about Sir Francis Drake?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:44.80,0:06:46.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't mean Sir Francis Drake.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:46.40,0:06:49.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But as I've mentioned him,\Ndo you know anything about him?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:49.84,0:06:52.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:54.20,0:06:57.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Something to do with bowling.\NYeah, that's right. Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:57.36,0:06:59.72,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,He was in the Navy!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:00.72,0:07:03.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's move on\Nfrom Francis Drake! Thanks!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:03.12,0:07:05.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What do you know about\NSir Walter Raleigh?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:07.76,0:07:09.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He invented the bicycle.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:09.96,0:07:13.12,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,His wife carried his head around\Nafter he died.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:13.12,0:07:14.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Excellently correct.\NIn a velvet bag.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:14.96,0:07:19.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,In a velvet bag. A red velvet bag,\Nyes. Sir Walter was executed...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:19.08,0:07:24.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I see why John had to invent\Na show for this kind of information\Nhe carries around with him!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:24.32,0:07:27.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Much as Lady Raleigh carried around\Nthe head.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:27.80,0:07:31.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It was on Buzzcocks last week.\NWas it?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:32.68,0:07:38.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What sort of a bag? Was it\Na sealed bag, like a cool box? I\Ndon't know. People did keep heads.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:38.92,0:07:41.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There was an Archbishop of\NCanterbury who was killed
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:41.44,0:07:47.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Peasants' Revolt and they've\Nstill got his head in the church\Nin Sudbury where... There it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:47.00,0:07:51.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The flesh has rotted off,\Nbut it's been there continuously\Nsince he was killed...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:51.04,0:07:56.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,As it rots away, you empty\Nthe bag out and rinse it\Nand pop it back in? Nature helps.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:56.52,0:07:59.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The flies and the maggots eat it\Nall up, and the bacteria.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:59.80,0:08:04.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I bet it was years before anybody\Nwanted to sit next to her at dinner.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:04.16,0:08:05.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure that's true.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:05.28,0:08:09.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,People going, "Oh, she's not\Ngoing to bring the head, is she?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:10.28,0:08:14.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Very fine. Don't know how\Nwe got there but, like many of
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:14.24,0:08:17.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the questions in tonight's show,\Nthere's no one correct answer.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:17.20,0:08:21.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But dunking your head in a bucket\Nmight be a good start.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:21.12,0:08:25.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And if that hasn't got you\Nscratching your head, when might you\Nengage in paradoxical undressing?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:28.48,0:08:31.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a known thing,\Nparadoxical undressing.\NIt's a phrase that is used.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:31.84,0:08:35.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not made up by us.\NYou're undressing but\Nyou're actually dressing?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:35.96,0:08:37.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No. It's not really paradoxical.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:37.32,0:08:39.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it physics? Something physics\Nor mathematics? No.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:39.72,0:08:42.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it counter-intuitive undressing?\NThat's much more what it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:42.48,0:08:46.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So taking your clothes off if Jeremy\NClarkson asks you would be...?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:49.16,0:08:52.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Meow! Would be silly.\NIt's taking your clothes when
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:52.68,0:08:56.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,taking your clothes off looks like\Nthe worst-possible idea\Nyou could have.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:56.64,0:08:58.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it some effect of hypothermia?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:58.20,0:09:00.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's exactly what it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:00.64,0:09:04.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It may be mental, it may be\Nphysical. It's not quite understood.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:04.44,0:09:06.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, that is very unpleasant!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:06.32,0:09:07.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it is!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:08.68,0:09:11.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Can we go back to\Nthe previous picture?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:12.28,0:09:17.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it's one of the peculiar\Nside effects of hypothermia,\Nwhen you're actually dying of cold,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:17.36,0:09:22.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,almost the last thing you do,\Nvery commonly - not always -\Nis take all your clothes off.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:22.64,0:09:27.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,People think it may be\Na delusional thing, but it is\Nalso part of the fact that
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:27.40,0:09:33.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,your blood vessels near your skin\Ntend to just give up and open, and\Nit may be that people feel very hot.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:33.60,0:09:36.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you never survive\Nonce you've got to that stage,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:36.28,0:09:41.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't ask someone why they did\Nit, but it is a common thing to do.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:41.08,0:09:45.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I went in freezing water once,\Nand I screamed a lot and swam about,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:45.20,0:09:50.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and then I got out and I was\Ncompletely shocking, livid pink\Nand felt hot.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:50.20,0:09:52.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Perhaps seconds from death, then.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:52.32,0:09:56.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe you were! Maybe you're\None of the few who survived it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:56.00,0:10:03.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. Well, what sort of temperature\Ndo you think would start you\Non the road to hypothermia?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:03.16,0:10:08.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Body temperature -\NI don't mean outside temperature.\NWhat's the temperature in here?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:08.32,0:10:09.60,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Really, I'd say pretty quickly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:09.60,0:10:14.96,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think it would have to drop\Nmuch. Maybe four or five degrees\Nbelow normal body temperature?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:14.96,0:10:16.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically, that's right.\N35 degrees Celsius.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:16.64,0:10:19.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Once your body temperature\Nstarts to get below that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:19.56,0:10:24.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And, interestingly,\Nin the coldest cities in the world,\Nhypothermia is very rare.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:24.92,0:10:28.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's more common where\Nit doesn't get very cold at all.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:28.12,0:10:31.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a very remarkable Briton\Ncalled Lewis Pugh.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:31.96,0:10:37.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you heard of Lewis Pugh?\NHe's a man who's able to control\Nhis own body temperature.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:37.20,0:10:38.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He does endurance cold swimming.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:38.80,0:10:42.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the only person known to\Nscience who can do what he can do.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:42.56,0:10:46.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He can swim in cold conditions\Nunlike anybody else,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:46.56,0:10:50.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and he is able to raise\Nhis body temperature at will.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:50.44,0:10:52.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's completely startling.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:52.24,0:10:54.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He's a superhero.\NHe can stop himself shivering.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:54.40,0:10:58.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He's really an incredible figure,\Nand we contacted him.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:58.12,0:11:00.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And he said that he thought...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:00.12,0:11:03.72,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,He said he's not coming in here\Ncos it's freezing!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:03.72,0:11:08.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He said he thought he could do this\Nbecause he had trained himself\Nover years
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:08.24,0:11:10.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,to do these endurance swims\Nin incredibly-cold waters,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:10.76,0:11:14.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and then his body, as it were,\Nsaw it coming and prepared for it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:14.52,0:11:18.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That was his only explanation. Cold\Nwater has a bad effect on a boy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:18.28,0:11:22.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I bet he doesn't fill his\Nswimming trunks when he gets out.\NThere may be that!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:22.92,0:11:25.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, this is not that unusual.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:25.48,0:11:27.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,We went on this yoga thing recently.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:27.64,0:11:31.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Mmm? And the yoga teacher was\Nsaying that
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:31.64,0:11:36.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,these sadhus in India can do\Nthis body-raising thing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:36.08,0:11:39.32,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,And in fact, they did\Nsome scientific experiments\Nin the States,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:39.32,0:11:43.12,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,where they shipped in these guys,\Nyou know,\Nlittle wiry guys with turbans on,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:43.12,0:11:48.20,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and they put wet towels on them. \NAnd they'd turn up their own\Nbody temperature and they would
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:48.20,0:11:51.96,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,literally steam the towels dry\Nin a few minutes. Extraordinary.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:51.96,0:11:55.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you hire these people? Yeah!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:55.56,0:11:58.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,What an act. They'd get on\NBritain's Got Talent.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:58.12,0:12:03.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That would be really good!\N"What are you going to do?"\N"I'm going to dry this wet towel."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:08.40,0:12:12.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You could do patterns on wet towels\Nwith your hands. It's art!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:12.20,0:12:17.16,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought if you were going\Ninto cold, you needed to lower
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:17.16,0:12:20.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,your body temperature\Nso it wasn't such a shock.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:20.12,0:12:24.68,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You have a cold drink in a cold\Nplace, a hot drink in a hot place.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:24.68,0:12:28.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, it does seem likely, but...\NAre the SAS just wrong about that?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:28.28,0:12:34.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, maybe. But maybe for the\Nextremes that he goes under, it's\Nmore important for him to stay warm.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:34.00,0:12:36.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,But when people do that sauna thing
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:36.60,0:12:40.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and jump into the snow,\Nwhy don't they get hypothermia?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:40.64,0:12:43.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They're not in it long enough,\NI think.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:43.12,0:12:45.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, they're pissed, usually.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:45.44,0:12:47.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Cos they're\NScandiwegian. Scandiwegian.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:47.72,0:12:49.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We can't resist a drink, I'm afraid.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:49.80,0:12:53.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Very true. Anyway, paradoxically,\Nthe last thing people do
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:53.84,0:12:59.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,when they're freezing to death is\Ntake their clothes off. But how\Ncan I tell if I am actually dead?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:01.00,0:13:04.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well... How can one tell\Nif a person is actually dead?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:04.20,0:13:06.36,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A roomful of people are cheering.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:11.96,0:13:14.84,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,The 20-year-old malt is\Nbeing broken out.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:14.84,0:13:20.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We would weep at your death.\NYou can feel someone putting\Na pen in my hand and just going...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:20.24,0:13:21.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Rewriting my will.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:21.28,0:13:27.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You mean the vital signs don't\Ncount? Is that what's going to\Nset the ringer off? No.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:27.08,0:13:30.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a moot point.\NThere's the difference between\Nlegal death and medical death.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:30.80,0:13:33.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There's also... It's quite recent.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:33.52,0:13:40.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In the 1830s in France, there were\Nabout 30 different symptoms,\Nif you can call them that,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:40.60,0:13:43.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that people thought were\Ndetermining symptoms of death.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:43.04,0:13:46.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But nobody could be sure,\Nso they held a prize -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:46.24,0:13:50.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,quite a big prize,\Nover 1,000 francs -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:50.00,0:13:55.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,for the person who could come up\Nwith the best way of determining\Nif a person was dead.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:55.16,0:13:57.64,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They're watching EastEnders\Nwithout reaching to turn it off.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:57.64,0:14:03.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, it just pre-dated\Nthe first episode\Nof EastEnders, 1830...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:03.20,0:14:08.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The prize wasn't given till 1848,\Nand even when it was awarded,\Nmost of the medical establishment
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:08.80,0:14:12.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,refused to believe the winner,\Nwho was a young medical chap.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:12.20,0:14:14.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The Victorians used to use\Na trembling scarab.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:14.36,0:14:16.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It looked like a little scarab,\Nwith legs on,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:16.88,0:14:22.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and they put it on the head of\Nsomebody and watch to see if\Nit moved. If it didn't, that was...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:22.72,0:14:26.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There were things like that.\NThese were some of the ideas\Nthat didn't win.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:26.76,0:14:31.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Sticking a thermometer into\Nthe stomach to see if the patient\Nwas cool enough to be dead.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:31.84,0:14:33.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Attaching pincers to the nipples.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:33.64,0:14:36.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh! Yep.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:36.28,0:14:41.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Scalding the patient's arm\Nwith boiling water\Nto see if a blister appeared.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:41.56,0:14:44.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Did they try all of these\Non one person?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:44.12,0:14:47.44,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Agh! Oh!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:47.44,0:14:49.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't know...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:49.56,0:14:52.04,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"He's alive! Burn him!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:52.04,0:14:55.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't know about comas,\Nso they knew that people could
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:55.32,0:14:57.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,sometimes appear dead\Nand not respond to pain,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:57.80,0:15:00.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,so they knew that\Njust pain wasn't enough.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:00.52,0:15:04.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So that was the blister-forming.\NPutting leeches on a corpse's\Nbottom, apparently, one way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:04.56,0:15:09.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,This just sounds like a typical day\Nof my mum getting me up for school.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:10.72,0:15:17.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Sticking a long needle into the\Nheart with a flag on the end, and\Nthey knew that if the flag waved...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:20.80,0:15:22.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's such a sweet method!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:22.72,0:15:24.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's lovely!\NI'm talking about the 1830s.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:24.72,0:15:28.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it's not so long ago, really.\NCould you just put a mirror there?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:28.64,0:15:33.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The most-common method\Nthat had been used is to put\Na mirror in front of the...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:33.20,0:15:35.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And if it misted up...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:35.68,0:15:39.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't always hear the breath.\NBut there was a device that had\Nbeen invented
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:39.84,0:15:44.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in the 1840s that caused this young\Nfellow who won the prize...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:44.36,0:15:46.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He suggested the use of this device.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:46.48,0:15:50.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Stethoscope? A stethoscope.\NTo listen to see if the heart beat.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:50.08,0:15:53.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It seems so obvious to us,\Nbut lots of brilliant people...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:53.28,0:15:58.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It never occurred to them that\Nthe sound of the heart might be\Nthe determining factor.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:58.12,0:15:59.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Hans Christian Andersen used to
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:59.40,0:16:04.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,sleep with a sign next to his bed\Nthat said, "I'm not dead -\NI'm asleep."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:04.20,0:16:09.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And there were coffins with\Nbells inside that people could\Nring in case they woke up.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:09.16,0:16:11.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They were terrified of\Nbeing buried alive.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:11.28,0:16:15.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than a bell, they should just\Ngive them a saw and a spade. Yes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:17.44,0:16:19.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're a cruel man,\Nbut fair, Alan Davies.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:19.76,0:16:22.44,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,While you're ringing away\Ndown there, you could be...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:22.44,0:16:24.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There were special hospitals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:26.12,0:16:30.92,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Would you go out the top\Nor the side? I'd do the side.\NIt'd fall in otherwise.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:30.92,0:16:35.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's how a coffin lid is attached,\Nyou think the logical thing is\Nto push up.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:35.32,0:16:39.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Saw at the side and then kind of\Ngo up sort of gradually.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:39.28,0:16:42.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't go straight up.\NYou've thought this through, Alan.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:42.72,0:16:47.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I might also say,\N"Oh, bugger - I chose cremation."\NThat's the other one.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:49.16,0:16:51.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"How do I reassemble these ashes?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:51.76,0:16:57.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That is why Vikings put them\Nin a boat and set fire to it.\NDoubly sure. "Off you go."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:57.36,0:17:00.84,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,There's an actual word for it,\Nthe fear of being buried alive.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:00.84,0:17:06.32,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the 18th-century clown\NGrimaldi had a pathological fear\Nof being buried alive,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:06.32,0:17:09.96,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and he specified that when he died,\Nthey should cut off his head
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:09.96,0:17:13.84,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,to be sure that he wouldn't have to\Nring the bell in the coffin.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:13.84,0:17:18.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He wasn't just weighing it?\NYou put it in the bucket...!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:18.24,0:17:23.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A very Edgar Allan Poe-type thing,\Nisn't it? Though being walled up\Nalive is the classic fear.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:23.40,0:17:26.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So in Germany, in particular,\Nwhere they were most afraid of this,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:26.72,0:17:29.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,late in the 18th\Nand early in the 19th century,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:29.48,0:17:33.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,they actually had warm mortuaries\Nto encourage putrefaction.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:33.20,0:17:38.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So the smell said that,\N"He's definitely dead, cos, whoa!\NThat is very smelly."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:38.44,0:17:41.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not as obvious\Nas we might think.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:41.56,0:17:46.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you had really bad personal\Nhygiene but you weren't actually\Ndead? Yes. You could be...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:46.36,0:17:49.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That would be a problem.\N"He stinks, he must be dead!" Yeah!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:49.52,0:17:53.40,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"He's walking around,\Nhe's talking." "He's dead."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:55.64,0:17:58.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fear of death is\Nthanatophobia, of course.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:58.56,0:18:02.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But fear of being buried alive is\Ntaphophobia. T-A-P-H-O-phobia.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:02.84,0:18:06.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now it's time for a round of\Nquickfire hypotheticals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:08.80,0:18:11.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Quickfire hypotheticals!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:11.08,0:18:15.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Mmm! So, all you have to do is
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:15.00,0:18:18.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,tell me the first thing that\Ncomes into your head, basically.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:18.08,0:18:19.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a quickfire\Nhypothetical question.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:19.72,0:18:23.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's say you've found\Na fallen tree in the forest, right?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:23.40,0:18:29.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, it fell down before\Nyou arrived, but did it make\Na sound as it fell? 'Ooh, erm!'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:29.20,0:18:32.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No.\NKLAXON BLARES
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:35.28,0:18:37.92,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, no-one's going to say yes,\Nare they?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:37.92,0:18:41.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know where this question\Ncomes from, as it were?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:41.36,0:18:43.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a famous... Bishop Berkeley.\NBishop Berkeley, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:43.68,0:18:47.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Philosophical question, isn't it?\NThat if there's no-one\Nto hear a sound,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:47.44,0:18:51.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,is there a sound? It depends so much\Nwhat you mean by sound, doesn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:51.56,0:18:55.32,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, there isn't, because sound is\Nthe vibration of the ear drum.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:55.32,0:18:57.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no sound\Nif no-one hears it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:57.60,0:19:03.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It depends, because part of\Nthe definition of sound is that\Nthere has to be a recipient for it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:03.04,0:19:07.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There's the thing that makes\Nthe noise, its transmission\Nand its reception.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:07.12,0:19:10.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. But if there's no reception,\Nmaybe the noise doesn't exist.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:10.08,0:19:16.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Other things are still vibrating,\Nand whether that vibration counts\Nas a sound or not is a moot point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:16.08,0:19:18.04,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Sound is what happens in the ear.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:18.04,0:19:21.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There isn't sound if there's\Nno-one to hear it. A moot point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:21.52,0:19:25.24,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,If there's the speed of sound\Nand it's what happens in the ear,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:25.24,0:19:28.80,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,how do you get that speed\Nbetween that and your ear?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:30.92,0:19:32.84,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I'm...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:32.84,0:19:35.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:35.04,0:19:40.12,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe by the time that tree's\Nfallen and you've got there,\Nthat sound's halfway round the world
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:40.12,0:19:44.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and making someone else\Nvery nervous. "Agh!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:44.56,0:19:46.24,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Stephen, are you sure about this?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:46.24,0:19:48.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, no-one is sure.\NThat is the point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:48.44,0:19:50.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why it's a hypothetical.\NNo-one knows.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:50.68,0:19:55.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,To a semanticist or neurologist,\Nthey may say that sound is that,\Nbut to a physicist,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:55.16,0:19:57.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,they would say the propagation\Nof sound waves is sound.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:57.76,0:20:02.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether or not there is an ear\Nto vibrate, it is a sound wave...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:02.80,0:20:07.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I disagree that they are\Nsound waves... You may disagree,\Nbut that's... You're welcome to.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:07.56,0:20:13.76,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They only become a sound wave\Nwhen there's an ear to receive it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:13.76,0:20:17.72,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you remember we talked...?\NThe thing that really astonished me.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:17.72,0:20:22.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know that light's invisible?\NIt's the most extraordinary thing.\NIf you're in a dark vacuum...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:22.60,0:20:27.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,if you shoot a beam of light\Nacross the eyeballs, like that,\Nyou can't see it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:27.00,0:20:30.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you can only see what light\Nhits. Yeah, but what about sound?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:30.56,0:20:32.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,But people said\Nthat's a stupid answer
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:32.56,0:20:37.16,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,because the definition of light is\Nsomething that goes into your eye\Nand is then received.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:37.16,0:20:39.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Until it does that,\Nit's not light. Mmm.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:39.80,0:20:42.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But we have all kinds of things.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:42.24,0:20:46.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you saying that it's not sound\Nif it registers\Non a recording device
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:46.32,0:20:48.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that is left there\Nwithout a human there?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:48.68,0:20:50.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That it's bending the needle?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:50.00,0:20:56.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Does the machine not hear? Is it\Nnot a sound wave that is actually\Ncausing the machine to register?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:56.32,0:21:00.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, but in Bishop Berkeley's...\NI talked about you,\Nnot about Bishop Berkeley!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:00.96,0:21:05.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The point is, it's not as simple as\Njust to say yes or no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:05.28,0:21:07.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,JOHNNY: Go on, Stephen! Go on!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:07.80,0:21:10.16,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You've got him!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:10.16,0:21:12.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:12.04,0:21:17.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Good question. We would unfairly\Nhave forfeited someone who said yes,\Nas much as somebody who said no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:17.44,0:21:19.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You said there was no right answer.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:19.64,0:21:25.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why it's a good question.\NThere is no right answer.\NSo your yes, and your no are both...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:25.44,0:21:27.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Whatever I said would have been...?\NAfraid so.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:27.68,0:21:34.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,What if the tree fell down and there\Nwas no-one there to see it fall?\NIt should still be upright.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:34.28,0:21:35.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Very true.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:35.52,0:21:37.24,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,That's my only conclusion!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:37.24,0:21:38.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:38.92,0:21:41.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Alan,\Nare you keeping well?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:41.04,0:21:46.40,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah! But that tree fell over\Nand there was a hell of a bang!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:46.40,0:21:50.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. It's a quickfire hypothetical,\Ndon't forget, so we move on.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:50.92,0:21:55.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, all right. You're talking\Nto an... I can't do quickfire!\NYes, you can, darling.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:55.52,0:22:00.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,If a quickfire hypothetical round\Ntakes a really long time,\Nis it still a quickfire?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:00.44,0:22:02.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Good point! We'll find out!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:02.52,0:22:04.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:04.16,0:22:07.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Very good point.\NYou're talking to an alien\Nin a distant galaxy by radio.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:07.92,0:22:11.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,How could you explain\Nwhich is right and which is left?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:11.36,0:22:13.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Breaker, breaker.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:13.48,0:22:18.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That would do it, would it?\NJust by saying, "Breaker, breaker,"\Nhe would know...?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:18.52,0:22:23.40,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it would depend\Nwhat height mast they had,\Nbut yeah, he should...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:26.08,0:22:31.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There's got to be alien truckers!\NIt's a fair point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:31.76,0:22:36.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd tell 'em what's left and right\Nand if he's got a Smokey on his ass.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:36.60,0:22:38.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:38.20,0:22:41.20,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Wouldn't it be\Na very boring conversation,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:41.20,0:22:45.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,because the nearest galaxy's,\Nwhat, four light years away?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:45.00,0:22:47.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we'd have to\Nuse the word hypothetical.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:47.68,0:22:52.80,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's a hypothetical conversation.\NHypothetically, are we looking at\Nany common reference point?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:52.80,0:22:54.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the point. You can't...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:54.32,0:22:58.44,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Can you see Mars?\NWe're on the right of Mars."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:58.44,0:23:01.84,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Can you see this spot on Jupiter?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:01.84,0:23:04.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, you'd have to have\Nsomething to reference.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:04.08,0:23:07.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't... Semantically, there is\Nno explanation for left or right
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:07.16,0:23:09.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,without reference to a physical\Nworld that someone can identify.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:09.88,0:23:13.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't explain it\Njust by language.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:13.00,0:23:15.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the point of the question.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:15.04,0:23:18.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,If they visited in a ship, you could\Ngive them a temporary tattoo.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:18.56,0:23:24.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, you could do that,\Nwhich is why we framed the question\Nso specifically, saying that...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:24.56,0:23:27.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Or talking on a radio.\N..temporary tattoos were out.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:27.20,0:23:31.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah, sorry. I'm just a problem\Nsolver by nature! No, it's good!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:31.56,0:23:37.00,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And anyway, they might not have...\NCos we always draw them\Nin that shape with two eyes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:37.00,0:23:40.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,What if they've got four eyes\Nand eight arms?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:40.28,0:23:45.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Exactly, they may not be symmetrical\Nin any way. They might have other\Ndimensions and all sorts. Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:45.56,0:23:49.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They might have 19 versions of left.\NImagine that on a sat nav!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:51.80,0:23:53.68,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Left...ish!" "Not that one!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:53.68,0:23:56.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"That one!" "L...eft!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:56.48,0:24:00.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do we always draw them like that?\NI've no idea. Seems so strange.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:00.48,0:24:05.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They might just have one eye.\NCertainly, the ones that probed me\Nlooked nothing like that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:05.04,0:24:10.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you have a mnemonic\Nfor when you forget which is\Nleft or right temporarily?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:10.00,0:24:12.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you do that?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:12.00,0:24:13.68,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I walk into traffic.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:14.56,0:24:18.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorts it out straightaway! Yeah!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:18.32,0:24:22.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Why, do you have a problem? No,\NI don't, but if I have to think...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:22.48,0:24:26.80,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember the thumb I used to suck\Nwhen I was a very small child,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:26.80,0:24:29.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,that that's my right hand.\NLike a therapy session, this.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:30.76,0:24:33.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a wonderful story about\Na famous ocean-liner captain.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:33.48,0:24:38.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He had a little box that he kept\Nin his pocket, and every time\Nthey came into port,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:38.48,0:24:41.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,he'd open up the box, look\Nand put it away.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:41.32,0:24:44.00,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And after many, many years' service,\Nhe finally died.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:44.00,0:24:46.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,His second in command said,\N"I must look inside."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:46.96,0:24:51.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And he opened up the box and it said,\N"Port, left. Starboard, right."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:52.32,0:24:55.80,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That's brilliant. You want to\Nget that right, though, don't you?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:55.80,0:25:00.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, that's the point, though.\NYou can't really find out.\NSo, our next hypothetical.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:00.36,0:25:04.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Take someone who has been blind\Nfrom birth, right,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:04.04,0:25:08.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and let him or her handle\Na sphere and a cube.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:08.08,0:25:15.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And then, there's a new operation\Nthat amazingly comes and restores\Ntheir sight and you show them
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:15.00,0:25:19.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the sphere and the cube.\NWill they be able to tell\Nwhich is which just by looking?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:19.68,0:25:24.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you think it's the first thing\Nthey'd want to do?\NNo, that's why it's hypothetical.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:24.64,0:25:27.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But it has been done.\NIt is really interesting...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:27.12,0:25:29.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I think the answer is,\Nno, they can't.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:29.56,0:25:34.68,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,The information that their eyes\Ntell them is meaningless junk\Nfor quite a while. Exactly right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:34.68,0:25:37.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,One's tactile and one's sensory,\Nit would be different.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:37.20,0:25:41.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right. But to us, it seems\Nso obvious that perhaps we overlook
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:41.64,0:25:46.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,how used we are to relating the feel\Nof a corner to the look of it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:46.08,0:25:48.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,This is cutting-edge neuroscience,\Nisn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:48.28,0:25:52.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. There was a case recently\Nwhere somebody had been blind for,\NI don't know,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:52.60,0:25:56.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,years and years and years,\Nand they restored his sight,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:56.08,0:26:00.40,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was able to see\Nhis own children\Nfor the first time in years.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:00.40,0:26:03.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,And he literally didn't recognise\Nthem. It was like fuzzy lines.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:03.64,0:26:08.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It took two weeks or something\Nfor him to realise,\Nto assemble the information...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:08.08,0:26:10.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,When they took the beards\Nand the hats off.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:10.76,0:26:12.48,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, I couldn't resist it!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:12.48,0:26:14.44,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:14.44,0:26:18.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you done the reverse thing,\Ngoing to the restaurant\Nwhere it's completely dark?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:18.76,0:26:22.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I went to one in Berlin called the\NNocti, where it's absolutely blind.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:22.40,0:26:24.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you been? No, but I mean to go.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:24.88,0:26:27.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's blind people who serve you.\NYes, that's right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:27.52,0:26:31.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They walk around with great ease.\NDoes it make a difference\Nto how you eat?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:31.84,0:26:35.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Does it taste different? Yes,\Nit does. That's really the point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:35.08,0:26:36.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They talk you through the food.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:36.84,0:26:41.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You feel it and you smell it\Nand you use all these other things\Nthat you usually forget
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:41.84,0:26:47.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,to use cos you're looking at people\Nand you just look down and see\Nhow well-arranged it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:47.20,0:26:50.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead, it's quite animal.\NThe weird thing is going to the loo.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:50.76,0:26:55.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This waiter takes you by the hand\Nand kind of threads you\Nthrough the tables.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:55.44,0:27:00.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You go into a passageway, he closes\Na door into the restaurant,\Nso that stays dark,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:00.20,0:27:03.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and he opens the other door\Ntowards where the loos are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:03.60,0:27:08.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He doesn't actually take the old\Nchap out or anything like that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:08.04,0:27:10.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless you tip him very well.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:10.32,0:27:12.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless you tip him very well!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:12.04,0:27:17.68,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You can go to Little Chef\Nand you're served by people\Nwith complete indifference.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:17.68,0:27:21.20,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an amazing sort of experience.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:21.20,0:27:24.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Not since Heston Blumenthal\Ntook over! Surely not!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:24.48,0:27:26.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, that's quite right.\NAbsolutely spot on.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:26.88,0:27:30.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, a lorry load of birds are\Nbeing weighed on a weigh bridge.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:30.56,0:27:36.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,At some moment, all the birds\Nsimultaneously rise off\Ntheir perches and flap in the air.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:36.60,0:27:39.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So they're all alive?\NOh, yeah. They're all alive.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:39.04,0:27:44.00,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Does the lorry weigh less? Yes.\NWhen they rise up in the air?\NYes. No.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:44.00,0:27:45.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Got a yes and a no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:45.76,0:27:49.80,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They're not in contact\Nwith the actual thing? No.\NSo it would weigh less.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:49.80,0:27:52.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it sealed, the lorry?\NIt's a closed...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:52.16,0:27:55.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's got a tailgate, it's locked up,\Nthey're inside, you can't see them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:55.96,0:27:59.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But wouldn't there be pressure\Nfrom the air? Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:59.28,0:28:02.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It weighs the same,\Nand it's got something to do...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:02.64,0:28:06.88,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's something similar to\Nif you weigh yourself\Nand then you do a number two
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:06.88,0:28:10.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and weigh yourself, you don't lose\Nthe weight of the number two.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:10.28,0:28:11.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:12.88,0:28:15.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, there we're in\Na slightly different territory.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:15.52,0:28:19.00,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,If you will crap on the scales...!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:24.68,0:28:28.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're right. The answer is\Nnot to poo on the scales!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:28.76,0:28:33.64,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no! Leave the scales,\Ndo the number two,\Ncome back to the scales!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:33.64,0:28:37.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course you do! The money\NI've wasted on enemas. No, I know!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:37.92,0:28:42.52,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it doesn't. It weighs the same,\Nand I can't remember the reason why.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:42.52,0:28:45.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So they all lift off\Nat exactly the same time?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:45.32,0:28:50.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The fact is,\Nit's the bird/lorry system...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:50.20,0:28:51.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it's weird, but...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:51.76,0:28:54.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it to do with it\Nbeing sealed? Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:54.92,0:28:58.08,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're carrying a bowling ball\Nand you're on the scales
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:58.08,0:29:00.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and you throw the ball\Nin the air... Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:00.64,0:29:03.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It will kill you, even though...!\NBecause it's sealed...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:03.32,0:29:08.32,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,And the air's moving, exactly.\N..you and the air have created that\Nweight, so wherever the birds put
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:08.32,0:29:10.44,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,themselves within there,\Nit still weighs the same.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:10.44,0:29:13.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're absolutely right.\NI mean, you can sort of test it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:13.88,0:29:15.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't pass it off that easily!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:15.56,0:29:19.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But interestingly,\Nif it's a open-top lorry and\Nthey're all sitting on the perch
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:19.92,0:29:24.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and they jump up, and they jump\Nslightly higher and then they're\Nactually out of the system,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:24.60,0:29:28.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,they're no longer\Npart of the lorry/bird system,\Nthen it would be lighter.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:28.68,0:29:30.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well done, everybody.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:30.08,0:29:33.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Perhaps now it's time to move on\Nfrom our hypotheticals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:33.12,0:29:35.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That was very quick(!)
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:35.20,0:29:42.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, hypothetical problems are\Nof course the curse of the practical\Nman, but how do curses work?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:42.60,0:29:46.40,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, someone curses you\Nand you think you've been cursed,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:46.40,0:29:49.24,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,so you change your behaviour\Nand bring about your downfall.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:49.24,0:29:51.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's kind of more or less\Nprecisely right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:51.76,0:29:56.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a negative version of\Nwhat effect? The placebo effect.\NYes, it is indeed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:56.12,0:29:59.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm on the wrong show - I should be\Non Mastermind! You should!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:59.88,0:30:03.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you saying it only\Nworks if you believe it? Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:03.16,0:30:06.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like a placebo. It is\Nactually called the nocebo effect.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:06.92,0:30:11.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,N-O-C-E-B-O,\Nas in noxious, as in harm.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:11.00,0:30:12.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I will harm, "nocebo" in Latin.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:12.96,0:30:17.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So if I made a voodoo doll of Johnny\Nand I stuck pins in it, it wouldn't\Nwork unless I sent him
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:17.32,0:30:21.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,a sort of picture on his phone\Nto show I'd done it? Yes, and he\Nbelieved, of course, that...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:21.72,0:30:25.16,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,The point is, you have to believe\Nit. You have to get a good likeness.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:25.16,0:30:28.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Otherwise Peter Kay would be\Nrolling round in pain somewhere.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:31.88,0:30:34.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That would never do.\NNow, other curses.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:34.16,0:30:37.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know what the 27 Club is?\NThere's a curse, supposedly. No.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:37.76,0:30:41.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it something to do with nearing\Nyour 30th birthday? Yes, it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:41.88,0:30:46.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a particular age, 27,\Nthat seems to resonate\Nin popular cultural history.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:46.32,0:30:50.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh... Is it people who died at 27?\NYes. Can you name some\Nwho died at 27?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:50.40,0:30:52.96,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,James Dean or someone like that?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:52.96,0:30:55.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, is it older than that?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:55.40,0:30:57.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Jim Morrison.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:57.24,0:31:02.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix,\NJanice Joplin. Woah!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:02.68,0:31:04.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. More. Sid Vicious.\NKurt Cobain. Brian Jones.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:04.80,0:31:09.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And Brian Jones in fact, yes.\NRobert Johnson of Crossroads fame.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:09.80,0:31:11.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,All 27, really? They're all aged 27.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:11.56,0:31:16.16,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Old enough to develop enough\Nof an intolerance to something\Nto keep doing too much of it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:16.16,0:31:19.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And young enough to be stupid enough\Nto keep doing too much of it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:19.20,0:31:23.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Probably right. It's the late 20s.\NIt's a very hazardous age. Clearly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:23.44,0:31:25.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know about the curse of\Nthe ninth? What would that be?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:25.96,0:31:27.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They all died on the ninth?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:27.76,0:31:29.88,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,No. This is getting ridiculous.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:29.88,0:31:32.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Was that a Roman legion?\NNot a Roman legion.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:32.04,0:31:35.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The Eagle of the Ninth, not that.\NNo, it's symphonies.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:35.28,0:31:38.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh! Oh, yes. You're not supposed\Nto write more than nine.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:38.12,0:31:43.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it's not that you're not\Nsupposed to, but it's a... Beethoven\Nwrote nine and then popped off.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:43.12,0:31:46.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You finish a ninth and you die\Nwhile writing the tenth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:46.16,0:31:51.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It happened to Dvorak, Beethoven\Nand Bruckner and Schubert.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:51.20,0:31:54.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What an unusual serial killer that\Nwas. That's the curse of the ninth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:54.52,0:31:57.08,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,If only they'd had CSI Vienna.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:01.12,0:32:04.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The nocebo effect is the placebo\Neffect's evil cousin.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:04.16,0:32:10.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, hypothetically, what would\Nhappen if Schrodinger put a\NSiamese cat in the fridge?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:10.12,0:32:14.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,In the fridge?\NYeah. Well, he wouldn't know\Nif it was alive or dead.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:14.76,0:32:17.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, good! You're referring to\NSchrodinger's cat, which is...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:17.56,0:32:21.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I've learnt about\Nthis on Horizon. Very good.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:21.12,0:32:24.00,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't know, until you open the\Ndoor, whether the cat is alive...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:24.00,0:32:28.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the sort of quantum paradox\Nof Schrodinger's cat, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:28.28,0:32:33.04,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You put a Siamese cat in the fridge?\NYeah. What is the question?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:33.04,0:32:35.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What would happen to the cat?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:35.68,0:32:37.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It would get cold.\NWhat would happen to the fridge?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:37.88,0:32:40.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They'd be less milk left, probably.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:40.00,0:32:41.96,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It would eat all the tuna melt.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:41.96,0:32:44.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,All the tuna melt would go, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:44.04,0:32:45.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But something quite\Nextraordinary would happen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:45.76,0:32:49.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It would turn into an ordinary cat.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:49.32,0:32:52.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, almost! Almost.\NIt would turn into a dog. No, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:52.68,0:32:55.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Nor is it that remarkable.\NIn seconds.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:55.52,0:32:57.96,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Meow! Woof!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:57.96,0:33:02.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's have a look at a Siamese cat\Nand see what's particular about it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:02.28,0:33:04.00,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,White body, black face. Ah!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:04.00,0:33:06.44,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,So it goes to a black body\Nand a white face.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:06.44,0:33:12.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's got a white body\Nand a black tail and black ears\Nand black mouth and black socks.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:12.36,0:33:14.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words, black extremities.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:14.04,0:33:17.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What is particular about the\Nextremities of any mammal?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:17.16,0:33:21.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They get cold... So if you put\Nthe whole animal in a fridge?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:21.08,0:33:24.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It goes black.\NIt goes black, Johnny.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:24.32,0:33:25.92,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,That's death, though, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:25.92,0:33:28.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There. That's what happens. Oh!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:28.84,0:33:31.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's fur has this peculiar colourant
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:31.72,0:33:36.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that keeps it pale in warm blood\Nheat, but only a small difference
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:36.64,0:33:40.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in temperature down and it will lose\Nthe white or gain the black,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:40.40,0:33:44.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,whichever way you prefer to look\Nat it. When you take it out,\Ndoes it go pale again?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:44.56,0:33:48.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, back to its normal colour.\NIt would be worth trying\Njust for the lark, wouldn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:48.60,0:33:50.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't like cats very much.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:50.76,0:33:54.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. So many cats,\Nso few recipes. I just think...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:56.52,0:33:58.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I just think it sounds like fun.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:58.64,0:34:02.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You can also try it\Non a Himalayan rabbit.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:02.00,0:34:06.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They have the same issue.\NBut please don't try it at home.\NPlease don't. No, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:06.20,0:34:09.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know about buttered cat?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:09.08,0:34:13.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a recipe, straightaway!\NDelicious. Buttered cat syndrome.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:13.28,0:34:18.00,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, you put butter on their paws\Nto stop them going home\Nwhen you've moved house.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:18.00,0:34:21.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There is that, but this is a kind of\Nparadox, because there are two laws.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:21.04,0:34:25.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,One is that if you have a piece of\Nbuttered toast and you drop it, what\Nhappens? It falls butter-side down.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:25.32,0:34:29.40,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you drop a cat, what happens\Nto the cat? It falls butter-side up!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:29.40,0:34:31.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:31.20,0:34:36.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It lands on its feet. So if you were\Nto put a piece of toast with the\Nbutter up and attach it to a cat...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:36.36,0:34:42.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah...! Right? What would happen\Nis the cat would drop and it\Nwould have to revolve forever.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:42.52,0:34:48.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the laws would compete\Nand it would be in total balance.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:48.68,0:34:50.88,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Would it work with margarine?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:50.88,0:34:55.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know.\NI think that law doesn't state\Nthat margarine falls downwards.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:55.44,0:34:58.32,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, what about I Can't\NBelieve It's Not Butter?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:03.20,0:35:06.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What if it was margarine but\Nthe cat believed it was butter?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:06.36,0:35:09.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah! The placebo effect. Exactly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:09.48,0:35:12.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Brilliant, brilliant!\NYou've all got the point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:12.96,0:35:16.96,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,What if cats discovered this\Nand started to migrate?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:16.96,0:35:20.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Where would they go?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:20.24,0:35:22.36,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:22.36,0:35:26.24,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just a cat with a piece of\Ntoast. I not going to dictate...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:26.24,0:35:29.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's just keep it from them.\NSo, yeah, yeah,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:29.36,0:35:31.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the point is, if you put a Siamese\Ncat in a fridge for long enough...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:31.96,0:35:34.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and actually it would have to be\Nquite a long time, probably weeks...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:34.40,0:35:37.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,it would go black.\NAnd you absolutely mustn't.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:37.88,0:35:41.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But after that voyage through a land\Nwhere there are no wrong answers,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:41.60,0:35:46.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,we come at last to one where there\Nis rarely a right one, the realm\Nof general ignorance.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:46.32,0:35:48.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So put your fingers\Non your buzzers and tell me...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:48.36,0:35:50.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're on death row, all right?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:50.44,0:35:53.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What can you tell me\Nabout your last meal?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:53.16,0:35:54.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,'Hmm.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:54.64,0:35:57.44,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's three courses.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:57.44,0:36:01.36,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Three courses? Yeah, and it's\Nabsolutely whatever you want.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:01.36,0:36:02.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Mm, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:02.92,0:36:05.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON AND BELL
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:05.32,0:36:08.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Not necessarily the case at all,\Nyou can order whatever you want.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:08.56,0:36:11.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You can only have what\Nthey've got in the kitchen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:11.68,0:36:14.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You know where there's\Na death row in England.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:14.20,0:36:16.92,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Tell. It's at the Lord's pavilion.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:16.92,0:36:20.48,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,The seating in the pavilion is\Nunreserved, so you have to get
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:20.48,0:36:24.52,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,there early in the morning for\Nthe Australian Tests, for example.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:24.52,0:36:30.36,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,But nowadays, a lot of the MCC\Nmembers are living to a very old age
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:30.36,0:36:34.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and they can't get there at six.\NSo the oldest...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:34.20,0:36:37.08,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I think there's about 18\Nseats or something in the row.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:37.08,0:36:41.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They have a seat,\Nthe oldest X number of members.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:41.76,0:36:43.92,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That's called death row
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:43.92,0:36:46.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,by the stewards.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:47.88,0:36:51.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't even choose what you're\Ngoing to have for your last supper?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:51.36,0:36:55.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In different states it varies, but\Nin some states there's a 20 budget.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:55.56,0:36:59.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In Florida, it's a 40 budget.\NSometimes they're really mean.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:59.16,0:37:02.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a figure called Philip\NWorkman who asked for a large
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:02.88,0:37:06.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,vegetarian pizza to be given to a\Nhomeless person as his last dinner,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:06.60,0:37:08.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and the prison officials refused.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:08.36,0:37:12.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And after this guy was executed,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:12.00,0:37:17.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,all kinds of homeless shelters\Nall over Tennessee, the state\Nwhere it happened, were sent
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:17.60,0:37:21.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,these vegetarian pizzas for homeless\Npeople by just ordinary Americans
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:21.44,0:37:24.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who wanted to honour his last\Nwishes, which is rather touching.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:24.84,0:37:29.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's lovely. But wouldn't it be\Nawful if you were about to die and\Nyou got a very limited menu? I know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:29.92,0:37:35.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And huge portions are pared down.\NThere was one inmate who requested\N24 tacos and he only got four.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:35.96,0:37:39.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, it's just..! Isn't it mean?\NYou're not allowed to smoke,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:39.64,0:37:42.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,even if you want to... It's hardly\Nworth being there! It almost isn't!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:42.76,0:37:46.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It almost isn't. And some of\Nthem get very mournful about this.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:46.76,0:37:48.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A fellow called Thomas Grasso.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:48.60,0:37:55.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,His last words in 1995 were,\N"Please tell the media I did not get\Nmy Spaghetti-Os. I got spaghetti.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:55.08,0:37:58.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"I want the press to know this."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:58.04,0:38:00.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's very forlorn, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:00.00,0:38:03.64,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Do they say to you,\N"Did you have anything from\Nthe mini-bar last night?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:03.64,0:38:07.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They probably do. The last question.\NI'd want a Kinder egg.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:07.56,0:38:09.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A Kinder egg, yes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:09.20,0:38:13.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd want some chocolate,\Na toy and a surprise.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:13.56,0:38:17.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,What's not to like? Just to distract\Nyou from death. You so would.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:17.60,0:38:24.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, in the USA, most states\Nplace strict restrictions on\Ninmates' special meals,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:24.16,0:38:27.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,as they're called. In some states\Nit isn't even their final meal.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:27.72,0:38:30.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They actually have it two weeks\Nor so before they're executed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:30.60,0:38:34.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So stop me when you know\Nwhat I'm talking about now.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:34.68,0:38:37.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an insectivorous mammal.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:37.04,0:38:39.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's found all round the world.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:39.32,0:38:43.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's active at night.\NIt's almost totally blind.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:46.12,0:38:48.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A bat. A bat?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:48.68,0:38:50.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON AND BELL
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:52.60,0:38:56.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No. You were so right until the\Nlast part. It's not blind, then? No.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:56.52,0:38:58.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Anteater, would you say?\NNo, not an anteater, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:58.72,0:39:03.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A mole. It's insectivorous, so it\Ncould eat ants. Is it a mole?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:03.24,0:39:05.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,A mole is the right answer.\NI said mole!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:05.84,0:39:08.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, did you? I'm sorry. Did he say\Nmole, ladies and gentlemen? Yes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:08.60,0:39:12.56,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,No, because sound is just a\Nthing and it didn't travel...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:16.28,0:39:20.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, if you didn't hear me say\Nmole, then I didn't say mole.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:20.12,0:39:22.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You need the points I suspect,\NAlan, after the bat thing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:22.68,0:39:28.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, there are about 1,100 different\Nspecies of bat and none of them\Nis sightless. Not one is blind.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:28.08,0:39:30.16,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Is the mole completely\Nsightless, then?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:30.16,0:39:33.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It can just about distinguish\Nbetween light and dark,\Nbut essentially it's blind.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:33.92,0:39:37.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It can tell if the telly's on or\Noff. Yes, if you like. It's a lot...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:37.80,0:39:39.76,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it can't tell\Nif it's on standby.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:39.76,0:39:42.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,How many moles do you think\Nthere are in Ireland? None.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:42.52,0:39:47.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're right, there are none.\NThey don't... They were very pally\Nwith the snakes. Well, they...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:47.28,0:39:50.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Glaciation and the separation of\NIreland from the rest of the place,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:50.20,0:39:52.92,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,they never got back because it was\Nthen an island. They could tunnel.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:52.92,0:39:55.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Like snakes... They could tunnel!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:55.04,0:39:58.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,If any animal could tunnel, it would\Nbe a mole. Oh, sweet. Look.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:58.04,0:40:02.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You say sweet, but almost certainly\Nall photographs of moles
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:02.32,0:40:06.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that are taken are of dead moles\Nbecause they fluff them up.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:06.80,0:40:10.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's terrible. And you can't tell\Ncos their eyes are always\Nlittle black slits.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:10.28,0:40:14.68,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like all those greetings card\Npictures of a cat on a deck chair or\Na cat hitting a mouse with a spoon.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:14.68,0:40:16.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They're all dead. Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:16.64,0:40:21.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I fear so. Yes, moles\Nare as blind as a proverbial bat.\NBats, perversely, aren't.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:21.44,0:40:24.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And, finally,\Nthe ultimate hypothetical question.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:24.16,0:40:25.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Which came first,\Nthe chicken or the egg?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:29.24,0:40:32.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Er, chicken. No!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:32.08,0:40:33.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON AND BELL
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:33.96,0:40:37.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The egg. The egg is the\Nright answer, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:37.20,0:40:40.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There's that old joke about the\Nchicken and egg have just made love
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:40.60,0:40:43.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and they're lying there\Nhaving a post-coital cigarette.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:43.28,0:40:46.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The chicken says to the egg, "Well,\Nthat answers that old question."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:51.92,0:40:56.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,As the great scientist JBS Haldane\Nsaid, "Anyone who can ask
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:56.20,0:40:58.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"that question obviously\Nhasn't understood evolution."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:58.44,0:41:02.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Because a chicken evolved from\Nreptiles that laid eggs themselves.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:02.40,0:41:06.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So those eggs were always coming\Nwell before there was a chicken,\Nthere were eggs.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:06.04,0:41:09.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So it did indeed\Ncome first, the egg.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:09.12,0:41:13.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, what's unique about chickens?\NWell, there are quite a few things
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:13.08,0:41:16.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that are unique about them, but the\Nmost obvious thing, looking at that?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:16.24,0:41:18.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What does it have\Nthat no other bird has?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:18.68,0:41:22.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Combs. No other animal has those\Nstrange combs on the head.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:22.68,0:41:25.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Thought to be something to do\Nwith temperature regulation.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:25.48,0:41:28.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They cool themselves down\Nwith the regulation of blood flow.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:28.52,0:41:32.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the longest recorded flight\Nby a chicken in time terms,\Nnot distance?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:32.80,0:41:36.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,13 seconds, isn't it,\Nsomething like that? Is it? Yes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:36.80,0:41:40.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, it is 13 seconds.\NIs it really?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:42.24,0:41:45.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:48.52,0:41:54.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't claim that's true,\Nbut that is one of the oldest\Ninternet pieces of trivia I know,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:54.08,0:41:59.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,apart from a duck's quack\Ndoes not echo and no-one knows why.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:59.00,0:42:01.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Which we know isn't true.\NNo, we know that isn't true.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:01.64,0:42:05.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, anyway, birds evolved\Nfrom egg-laying reptiles,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:05.08,0:42:08.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,so there were definitely eggs\Nbefore there were chickens.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:08.52,0:42:10.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So we emerge older\Nbut not much wiser
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:10.60,0:42:15.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,at the end of the only quiz show\Nto offer no answers,\Njust more questions.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:15.48,0:42:19.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But had there been answers,\Nlet's see who would,\Nhypothetically, have won.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:19.56,0:42:23.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And our theoretical winner tonight,\Nwith two points, is Sandi Toksvig!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:23.76,0:42:26.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:28.32,0:42:30.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Notionally in second place
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:30.92,0:42:33.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,is elf-master general,\NJohn Lloyd, with minus one!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:33.80,0:42:36.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:39.60,0:42:44.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,On paper, in third place,\Nwith an extremely creditable\Nminus seven, Johnny Vegas!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:44.44,0:42:47.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:48.04,0:42:53.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Finally, proving that it's\Nall academic and a dream,\Nwith minus 27, Alan Davies!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:53.28,0:42:56.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:00.32,0:43:03.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's all from this\Nhypothetical edition of QI.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:03.40,0:43:05.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Or is it? ..Yes, it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:05.64,0:43:08.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's good night from Sandi,\NJohnny, John, Alan and me.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:08.52,0:43:10.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Good night.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:10.04,0:43:12.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:20.92,0:43:24.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:24.04,0:43:27.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,E-mail [email protected]