QI (2003–…): Season 8, Episode 6 - Happiness - full transcript

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[Events]
Format: Marked, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:22.96,0:00:26.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:29.60,0:00:36.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,\Nhello, hello, hello, and welcome.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:36.84,0:00:42.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's happy hour at QI,\Nbecause tonight we're all about\NH for happiness.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:42.60,0:00:45.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Get them in quickly while you can,\Nladies and gentlemen,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:45.48,0:00:48.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,because you've got four guests\Nfor the price of two.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:48.20,0:00:49.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The happy-go-lucky Andy Hamilton...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:49.64,0:00:54.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:54.56,0:00:56.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..the irresistibly chirpy\NRich Hall...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:56.84,0:01:02.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:02.32,0:01:04.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..that cheerful charlie\NPhill Jupitus...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:04.72,0:01:08.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:08.80,0:01:12.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..and someone who doesn't even know\Nthe meaning of the word lugubrious,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:12.24,0:01:13.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Alan Davies!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:13.32,0:01:17.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:20.28,0:01:24.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, your instruments of pleasure,\Nif you please. Andy goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:24.84,0:01:27.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,MANIC LAUGH
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:27.40,0:01:28.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And Rich goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:28.92,0:01:32.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CRAZY FEMALE LAUGH\NPhill goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:32.64,0:01:39.00,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,COMICALLY MENACING LAUGH\NAnd Alan goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:39.00,0:01:44.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SNORTING LAUGH
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:44.04,0:01:46.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, dear.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:46.08,0:01:48.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Right. Well, before we start,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:48.64,0:01:53.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to test your own contribution\Nto the sum of human happiness,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:53.08,0:01:56.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the QI Audience Pleasure Gauge.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:56.20,0:02:00.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time the pointer enters\Nthe red happy zone
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:00.28,0:02:02.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,as a result of something\Nthe audience likes,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:02.80,0:02:06.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I will award one or more of you\Na bonus, all right? For example...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:06.36,0:02:08.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:18.44,0:02:23.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, now to questions. What would\Nmake Britain a happier place?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:23.88,0:02:27.24,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,No more penalty shoot-outs.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:28.24,0:02:29.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Hope.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:29.52,0:02:31.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The Pope? Hope.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:31.08,0:02:32.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Not the Pope! Not the Pope, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:32.52,0:02:33.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I was going to say, that seemed odd.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:33.96,0:02:36.00,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought you said a grope.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:36.00,0:02:39.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,A grope or the Pope...\NI'll work on my diction!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:40.36,0:02:47.68,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I think moving Britain slightly\Nsouth to improve the climate\Nslightly would make us happier.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:47.68,0:02:51.84,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Could you do that just by putting\Nan outboard motor on Aberdeen? Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:51.84,0:02:56.24,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Probably more than one. I reckon\Nyou'd need a few, but if you had\Nenough you'd get it going.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:56.24,0:02:58.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Britain never wakes up\Nin the same latitude.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:58.68,0:03:02.44,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, you'd never know where you\Nare. You're just cruising the globe.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:02.44,0:03:03.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:03.72,0:03:07.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Like Somali pirates, but...\NCan we concentrate....?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:07.44,0:03:09.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:09.16,0:03:13.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. If we went back to pillaging\Nand looting and raping. Right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:13.60,0:03:16.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not sure what pillaging is,\Nbut looting and raping...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:16.84,0:03:19.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Fine... All right, looting, no rape.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:19.08,0:03:20.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. Pillage.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:20.48,0:03:21.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A minor pillage.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:21.72,0:03:24.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Minor pillaging. Yeah.\NWhat is pillaging?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:24.32,0:03:27.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's kind of sacking, ransacking,\Nstealing from,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:27.20,0:03:28.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,pilfering and taking things.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:28.76,0:03:31.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Burgling, taking,\NI think, pillaging.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:31.36,0:03:34.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's the same as looting? Yeah.\NKind of is, really, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:34.92,0:03:38.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Give everyone a mental age of six,\Nthat would make Britain happier.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:38.32,0:03:43.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We'd be very easily pleased.\NSweets... Well, the media\Nare working on that, aren't they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:43.52,0:03:45.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:45.64,0:03:47.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yeah!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:49.56,0:03:51.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I think you've hit...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:51.52,0:03:54.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I think you've hit\Nthe Happiness Gauge there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:54.52,0:03:58.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That was very good, well done.\NThe last dumbing-down. Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:58.28,0:04:02.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But of course, six-year-olds\Nprobably cry 70 or 80 times a day,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:02.92,0:04:06.80,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,which you... Do you?\NCos they can't go up and down stairs\Nwithout falling.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:06.80,0:04:08.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Which I can.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:08.28,0:04:09.80,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,70 or 80 times...?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:09.80,0:04:12.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Where is this six-year-old?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:12.28,0:04:15.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I'm just saying...\NWhat does Uncle Stephen do?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:15.12,0:04:19.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:20.32,0:04:22.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I try and teach them Latin.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:23.56,0:04:27.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They just don't seem\Nto be able to like it!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:27.00,0:04:29.24,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Not the British Museum again!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:30.92,0:04:32.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, don't!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:32.12,0:04:35.68,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't like foie gras,\NUncle Stephen!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:35.68,0:04:37.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:39.44,0:04:43.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, boo and boo.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:43.28,0:04:46.40,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"This is prosecco,\Nand this is real champagne..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:46.40,0:04:48.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm not telling you again!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:50.48,0:04:52.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Otters.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:52.08,0:04:55.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Otters. I'd vote, yeah. Otters lying\Non their backs, playing with stones.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:55.60,0:04:56.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Sea otters.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:56.88,0:04:58.16,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It makes me happy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:58.16,0:05:01.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, if you see an otter,\Nyou just feel happy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:01.96,0:05:05.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think if every home had an otter...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:05.44,0:05:10.84,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"An otter in every house.\NI promise!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:10.84,0:05:15.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,If one's empirical about this,\Nand said "Which do we think might\Nbe the happiest country on Earth?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:15.64,0:05:18.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you think there's ever been\Nany agreement?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:18.04,0:05:19.68,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,The Otter-man Empire?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:19.68,0:05:22.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:22.44,0:05:23.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Up it goes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:23.60,0:05:25.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Very good.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:27.00,0:05:28.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That was good.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:28.80,0:05:32.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the things that appears\Nto be a great index of happiness
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:32.52,0:05:38.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,is not wealth itself,\Nbut a lack of huge disparity\Nbetween rich and poor.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:38.52,0:05:43.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In countries where really\Nthere isn't much of a gap\Nof that sort of nature...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:43.92,0:05:46.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a famous sketch,\Nyou may remember, from TW3
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:46.56,0:05:49.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,with John Cleese and Ronnie Barker\Nand Ronnie Corbett.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:49.16,0:05:52.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But where there isn't\Nthat kind of differential,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:52.28,0:05:54.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,it seems people are happier.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:54.40,0:05:57.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Even in the last 13 or 14 years\Nin Britain,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:57.96,0:06:04.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the gap has widened considerably,\N10% since '97 when John Major's\Ngovernment ended.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:04.68,0:06:07.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The gap between rich and poor\Nhas widened.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:07.20,0:06:09.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's very difficult.\NHow do you measure happiness?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:09.64,0:06:11.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you ask people if they're happy?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:11.24,0:06:14.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And are they reliable guides\Nof their own happiness?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:14.08,0:06:18.88,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,The things they do to each other\Nwill tell you whether they're happy\Nor not. That's a very good...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:18.88,0:06:22.04,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Happy people are less inclined\Nto glass people in pubs.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:23.16,0:06:26.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. There's no unit of happiness,\Nis there? That's the problem.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:26.32,0:06:27.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No international unit of...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:27.72,0:06:29.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No feliciton, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:29.84,0:06:35.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There are apparently ways\Nof measuring happiness, but none\Nof them is particularly reliable.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:35.48,0:06:38.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,An interesting thing is that\Nif you take someone
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:38.96,0:06:42.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who's got enormous reason,\Napparently, to be very happy,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:42.04,0:06:44.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,say they've just won the pools\Nor the lottery -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:44.48,0:06:46.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,this was a test\Nthat was done in 1978 -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:46.40,0:06:51.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and someone who'd had\Na catastrophic car crash\Nthat might have paralysed them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:51.24,0:06:55.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, at the time,\None is extremely happy\Nand the other unbelievably unhappy,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:55.60,0:07:01.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,but within a very short time\Nthey both level out and return to\Nthe same state they were in before.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:01.64,0:07:04.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So people have a bedrock level of...\NThey kind of do.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:04.32,0:07:11.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. Bhutan was the first country\Nto have a gross measure\Nof happiness, the GNH.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:11.08,0:07:14.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Gross National Happiness.\NNo television there, do they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:14.12,0:07:17.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't for a very long time,\Nor traffic lights.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:17.16,0:07:21.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The king declared happiness\Nof the people the guiding goal\Nof development,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:21.12,0:07:25.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and he banned unhappy TV shows,\Namongst other things.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:25.32,0:07:28.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Traffic lights never make you happy,\Ndo they? No, they don't.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:28.12,0:07:32.60,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And they tried it in Slough.\NNo traffic lights and no television?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:32.60,0:07:35.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, they tried... It was called\NMaking Slough Happy,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:35.60,0:07:40.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,including such things\Nas doing good turns, laughing daily\Nand watching less television,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:40.40,0:07:45.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which resulted in a 33% upswing\Nin their Life Satisfaction Index.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:45.68,0:07:49.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think one of the important things\Nwould be to get rid\Nof the name Slough.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:49.28,0:07:52.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I fear you're right.\NIt's not a very happy name, is it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:52.36,0:07:54.36,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They should change it to Yippee!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:54.36,0:07:57.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The weird thing is,\Nthat would probably work.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:57.16,0:07:59.72,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Where are you from?" "Yippee!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:59.72,0:08:04.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"Where do you live?" "Yippee!"\NIt would be fantastic.\NWhat a brilliant idea.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:04.08,0:08:06.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yippee, Berks. Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:06.52,0:08:10.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Brilliant. Staines is quite close.\NStaines...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:10.12,0:08:11.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:11.96,0:08:14.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not right.\NWe call Staines Woo-hoo!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:14.84,0:08:16.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. Yippee and Woo-hoo!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:16.88,0:08:19.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Hull. Bad... Hull?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:19.88,0:08:20.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:20.96,0:08:23.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Hot-Diggedy would be a good name\Nfor it. Hot-Diggedy for Hull.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:23.76,0:08:26.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Brilliant!\NThis is a superb movement.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:26.56,0:08:29.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This really could make a difference,\Nbecause we're human beings.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:29.72,0:08:31.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,We respond emotionally to things.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:31.56,0:08:35.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It may seem trivial,\Nbut wouldn't that be great\Nif you lived in Hot-Diggedy?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:35.40,0:08:38.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Hot Diggedy,\Nright outside of Zippedy-Do-Dah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:38.08,0:08:40.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:40.80,0:08:43.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The only trouble is\Nwhen there's an accident there,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:43.52,0:08:47.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and the newsreader has to say...\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:47.36,0:08:50.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"The bus turned over in Hot-Diggedy,\Nand..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:50.00,0:08:54.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like a headline I saw\Nin Ireland. "Cork man drowns."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:54.04,0:08:58.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:00.84,0:09:03.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, happiness, happiness!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:07.60,0:09:09.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:09.24,0:09:11.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You guys are bending the needle.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:11.60,0:09:13.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,His name was Bob. Come on!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:13.28,0:09:15.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:17.80,0:09:18.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, well.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:18.92,0:09:23.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow. I think I've won this. I'm not\Ngoing to answer another question.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:25.28,0:09:27.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,All the surveys indicate\Nthat economic equality
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:27.88,0:09:30.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,is what promotes the greatest good\Nfor the greatest number.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:30.84,0:09:33.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The other things that make us happy,\Nof course, are friends.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:33.92,0:09:36.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But how many real friends\Ndo you have?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:36.52,0:09:38.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,RICH: Just one. James Taylor.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:38.40,0:09:39.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:39.72,0:09:43.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,One friend you have in him, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:43.04,0:09:45.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ANDY: I've got to four. Four friends.\NYou've counted, have you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:45.88,0:09:48.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, I'm not sure about him.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:48.52,0:09:53.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He once spiked my drinks\Nand stole my trousers when I was...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:53.28,0:09:56.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Definitely cross him out.\NHe's coming off the list.\NWhich did he do first?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:56.80,0:09:58.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:58.72,0:10:02.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Drinks first, Phill.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:02.08,0:10:04.44,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know, maybe he's agile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:04.44,0:10:09.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We say that a friend will come over\Nto your house and help you move,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:09.24,0:10:11.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and a good friend\Nwill help you move a body.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:12.64,0:10:14.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's good.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:14.60,0:10:16.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I have two good friends.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:16.72,0:10:19.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:19.08,0:10:21.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh! Rich!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:22.00,0:10:26.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's disturbing. There is this\Nthing called a Dunbar number.\NDoes that mean anything to you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:26.44,0:10:28.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it's about 100 and something.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:28.32,0:10:33.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're right. There was a professor\Nof evolutionary anthropology\Nat Oxford University called Dunbar,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:33.60,0:10:36.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who calculated,\Nif calculation is the right word,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:36.92,0:10:39.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that we can't have more\Nthan 150 friends.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:39.28,0:10:43.52,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And obviously some of us have a very\Nhigh doctrine of friends... 150?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:43.52,0:10:47.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. He defines it this way.\NI don't even know 150 people.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:47.40,0:10:49.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a network.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:49.20,0:10:52.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought he was going to say five.\NWell, I know what you mean.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:52.20,0:10:53.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He defines this friendly network
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:53.52,0:10:58.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,as "containing the people\Nyou wouldn't feel embarrassed\Nto join at the bar
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:58.32,0:11:02.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"in the transit lounge\Nof Hong Kong airport at 3am."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:02.76,0:11:04.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:04.24,0:11:06.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah, there are thousands of them(!)
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:06.76,0:11:11.88,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I was going to say, I've never\Nbeen embarrassed to join anyone\Nat a bar in my life.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:11.88,0:11:14.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a peculiar definition.\NIt's an odd one.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:14.16,0:11:17.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is there something about\Nthis particular transit lounge?\NI don't know!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:17.56,0:11:22.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But 150 does turn out to be quite\Na special number amongst\Npeoples and groups.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:22.20,0:11:25.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the average size of traditional\Nhunter-gatherer communities,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:25.44,0:11:30.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,religious groups such as the Amish,\Nand English villages at the time\Nof the Domesday Book.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:30.08,0:11:32.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It also occurs\Nall over the modern world.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:32.16,0:11:37.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the number of Christmas cards\Nthe average person sends,\Napparently, 150.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:37.72,0:11:42.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The size of a company in all\Nmodern armies is 150, as opposed\Nto a battalion or platoon.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:42.40,0:11:47.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's also close to the average\Nnumber of friends people have\Non Facebook, which is 130-odd.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:47.44,0:11:52.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So it is a strangely...\NIt seems to be the number\Nbeyond which it's too many,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:52.52,0:11:55.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and any less than that\Nis a closer friend.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:55.60,0:11:58.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,When we say friend we mean someone,\Nas you say... We like.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:58.84,0:12:01.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Who'll bury a body for you. Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:01.08,0:12:06.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you all on Facebook? No?\NI don't really go on the computer.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:06.40,0:12:09.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I read a prediction the other day\Nthat said, at the current rate,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:09.40,0:12:13.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in ten years' time, one in three\Nmarriages in America\Nwill be people who met on-line.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:13.96,0:12:16.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's already one in eight.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:16.00,0:12:18.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's amazing, isn't it? Oh, God.\NIs that bad?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:18.40,0:12:20.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You just fill out a lot of forms,\Ndon't you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:20.56,0:12:26.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"Here's everything I like."\NNo, they don't necessarily meet on\Ndating sites. Some will be, I agree.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:26.12,0:12:28.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ANDY: How do you meet if you're not\Non a dating site? Join a group.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:28.96,0:12:30.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You join a group?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:30.04,0:12:33.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You join a Facebook group with\Nlike-minded people. Oh, right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:33.24,0:12:34.84,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They send you witty remarks.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:34.84,0:12:38.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Eventually, you send them\Na photograph of your genitals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:38.20,0:12:39.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:39.48,0:12:40.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You know!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:40.96,0:12:42.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoa!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:42.24,0:12:43.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHING AND CHEERING
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:48.20,0:12:51.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, Alan, that's the most popular\Nso far, the genitals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:51.72,0:12:53.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Photograph of the genitals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:53.24,0:12:57.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's just like a normal courtship,\Nthen? But done digitally? Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:57.16,0:12:59.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. Exactly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:59.48,0:13:02.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel quite bad for the Amish\Nin this situation,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:02.00,0:13:04.92,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,because they're not going to meet\Npeople on Facebook, are they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:04.92,0:13:09.44,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless we create an Amish Facebook\Nwhere you write everything\Nabout yourself on a sheet of paper,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:09.44,0:13:12.60,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and put it in a barrel\Nin the middle of the village.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:12.60,0:13:15.12,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Which people can just dip\Nin and out of, you know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:15.12,0:13:17.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ah, raised a barn today. LOL."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:17.28,0:13:20.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:23.36,0:13:24.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And they have AMG -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:24.56,0:13:26.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Ach, mein Gott!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:26.88,0:13:29.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:29.04,0:13:32.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, how can you tell if a friend\Nis really pleased to see you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:32.88,0:13:34.68,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, well...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:34.68,0:13:36.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:36.36,0:13:40.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I would guess from the picture\Nthat your teeth expand.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:40.36,0:13:42.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:42.76,0:13:44.88,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Pupils dilating,\Nsomething like that?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:44.88,0:13:47.04,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Or they let off a pheromone?\NSomething happens?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:47.04,0:13:49.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it's interpretation\Nof the smile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:49.12,0:13:51.96,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh. So if you're going...you're not?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:51.96,0:13:57.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. And it's become sort of\Nalmost a cliche for us to say that\Nthey don't smile with their eyes,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:57.52,0:14:00.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,but this wasn't known about\Nuntil the 19th century.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:00.36,0:14:04.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a Frenchman who\Nhad nothing better to do than\Nto electrocute people's faces
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:04.32,0:14:08.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to make their lips turn\Nupwards without their eyes moving.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:08.48,0:14:09.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There we are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:09.72,0:14:11.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:11.96,0:14:15.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what he liked to do.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:15.84,0:14:18.80,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a job! He's only ten years old,\Nthat boy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:19.92,0:14:24.40,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"As you can't have real sideburns,\Nhave these electric ones."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:24.40,0:14:30.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,His name was Guillaume Duchenne, and\Nhe defined a true smile as having\Nto involve the face and the eyes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:30.96,0:14:34.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And what he discovered was that\Nyou can't control your eyes,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:34.08,0:14:35.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't make your eyes smile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:35.72,0:14:38.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's involuntary, whereas\Nyou can make your lips smile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:38.68,0:14:42.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,These are some\Nrather horrifying attempts
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:42.00,0:14:44.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,to try and make people smile!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:44.24,0:14:47.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,These are all the QI researchers,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:47.32,0:14:50.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,bending over backwards for the show.\NIt's disturbing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:50.56,0:14:53.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Couldn't he get\Na different volunteer?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:53.64,0:14:55.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:55.40,0:14:59.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Poor Barry! Day 60 - "Aaargh!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:59.48,0:15:02.20,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Day 61 - "Gaarh!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:02.20,0:15:07.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The second one from the bottom,\Nit looks like the bloke's\Ncome at him from a different side.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:07.96,0:15:10.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He's been surprised as well.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:10.48,0:15:14.68,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, there is actually, Andy,\Na third probe you can't see.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:14.68,0:15:17.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:17.04,0:15:20.24,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Mr Duchenne actually gave them\Nnumbers. So 58 is,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:20.24,0:15:22.92,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"I forgot my mother's birthday."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:22.92,0:15:26.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"61, left the gas on."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:26.08,0:15:27.40,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not left the gas on,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:27.40,0:15:30.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,that's "I've just trodden on a cat\Nand it's died."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:30.12,0:15:34.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:34.76,0:15:37.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The real smile is called\Nthe Duchenne smile,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:37.92,0:15:43.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and with only the mouth smiling,\Nit's known in the trade\Nof happiness studies, gelotology,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:43.32,0:15:45.04,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,it's know as... A Gordon Brown.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:45.04,0:15:48.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:53.44,0:15:57.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, a false smile is known\Nin the trade as a Pan Am smile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:57.24,0:16:00.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,because that was the airline,\Nsince defunct, of course,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:00.36,0:16:05.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,where it was considered they had\Nthe stewardesses who had the most\Nplasticky false smiles,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:05.96,0:16:08.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,where the eyes are not smiling. Oh.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:08.32,0:16:15.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The Gordon Brown smile, the weird\Nthing about it was you'd see the\Nmoment where he'd decide to smile,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:15.04,0:16:18.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and that is the...\NThat kills any smile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:18.60,0:16:22.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You actually see... You hear\Na "clunk", and then there's a smile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:22.68,0:16:25.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You know it's not natural.\NYes, I agree.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:25.84,0:16:28.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Meanwhile, the girl on the left.\NYeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:28.12,0:16:31.60,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Is she wearing anything\Nunder her coat?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:31.60,0:16:35.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, if somebody's really pleased\Nto see you, you can see it\Nin their eyes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:35.88,0:16:40.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what would you do to a waiter\Nwho drew a smiley face on your bill?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:40.00,0:16:41.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not a fan of the smiley face.\NNo?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:41.68,0:16:45.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't mind them\Nintroducing themselves. Right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:45.08,0:16:48.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,The weird thing is, a waiter goes,\N"Hi, I'm Stephen, I'm your waiter."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:48.64,0:16:52.04,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,If you call them Stephen for\Nthe rest of the night, "Stephen,"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:52.04,0:16:56.20,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and they come up, they get\Nquite annoyed about halfway\Nthrough the main course.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:56.20,0:16:58.20,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"Stephen, this meal is really good."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:58.20,0:17:01.28,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You tell them lots of things\Nand use their name all the time,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:01.28,0:17:03.72,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,then you get a sad face\Non your bill.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:03.72,0:17:06.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER\NIt's like personalised numberplates.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:06.52,0:17:09.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,If you ever see a car go by and\Nit's got REG on it and he gets out,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:09.64,0:17:12.68,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and you go, "All right, Reg?"\Nthey don't like it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:12.68,0:17:14.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They're idiots, then, aren't they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:14.56,0:17:19.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a friend who's a producer\Non Broadway, and when he's in\NJoe Allen's, an actors' restaurant,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:19.60,0:17:22.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and he wants attention at the table,\Nhe goes, "Oh, actor,"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:22.76,0:17:24.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which is very mean.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:24.72,0:17:26.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,How rude. Very rude, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:26.44,0:17:30.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The stewardesses don't like that\Non planes when you go, "Nurse!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:30.08,0:17:31.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:31.76,0:17:32.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Hate it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:32.88,0:17:35.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I shouldn't have even said\N"stewardess". What are they now?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:35.76,0:17:37.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it cabin crew? Something?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:37.16,0:17:39.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ANDY: Attendants.\NRICH: Attendant.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:39.24,0:17:42.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,AUDIENCE MEMBER: Cabin crew!\NCabin crew? Cabin crew!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:42.44,0:17:46.52,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You work out of Stansted,\Ndon't you? I'd recognise\Nthat accent anywhere.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:46.52,0:17:49.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:53.00,0:17:54.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, we're pushing the needle!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:54.68,0:17:57.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,We can't see the needle!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:57.24,0:17:59.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's going up.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:59.36,0:18:02.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You've obviously commanded them\Nto applaud in this way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:02.48,0:18:05.32,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,This must be what it was like\Nin Soviet Russia.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:05.32,0:18:09.96,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time they went to anything,\N"Aaah! Yes! Clap! Laugh!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:09.96,0:18:13.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can see the guns!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:13.08,0:18:16.96,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You weren't allowed to be the first\None to stop clapping, were you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:16.96,0:18:18.88,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That would get you sent\Nto the gulag,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:18.88,0:18:21.96,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,so they would just clap for hours\Nand hours and hours!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:21.96,0:18:25.08,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A nation of people\Nwith bloody stumps!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:27.20,0:18:30.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oi! Oi!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:30.04,0:18:33.80,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Does the smiley face mean\Nthe waiter's pleased\Nwith what you've done,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:33.80,0:18:36.00,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,the way you've conducted yourself?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:36.00,0:18:38.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a way of getting a bigger tip.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:38.36,0:18:40.16,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And weirdly, it works. It works?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:40.16,0:18:43.68,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. ANDY: They should draw little\Notters, that would be better.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:43.68,0:18:46.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,On their backs, playing with stones.\NYeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:46.48,0:18:50.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Does that really work? Are you saying\Nthat gets a bigger tip?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:50.12,0:18:54.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yep. Drawing a smiley face,\Nintroducing your name,\Ntelling a joke, apparently.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:54.28,0:18:56.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,How about decent service?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:56.92,0:18:59.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think they've ever thought\Nof that. Might work.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:59.92,0:19:06.56,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that a suitable tip? If it is,\NI'm going to change everything.\NThat's fantastic. ?1.30.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:06.56,0:19:09.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is the nation of biggest\Ntippers? America, is it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:09.52,0:19:10.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,America, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:10.84,0:19:12.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What's considered the... 20%.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:12.92,0:19:14.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,20%?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:14.04,0:19:19.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But if it's bad service you take\Nthe tip and you put it in a glass\Nof water and turn it upside down,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:19.20,0:19:20.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and leave it on the table.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:20.56,0:19:25.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But you still leave it. If you\Nleave an American restaurant without\Ntipping, the waiter will chase you.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:25.64,0:19:30.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, sure. They'll run down\Nthe street after you and say, "Sir,\Nyou didn't tip." They really will.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:30.56,0:19:34.08,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They take your money and say, "Will\Nthere be any change with that?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:34.08,0:19:38.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, I think you'll find\Nthat's a 100 bill\Nand I've just had a cup of tea.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:38.28,0:19:40.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:40.04,0:19:42.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But what do we think in Britain\Nis right?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:42.24,0:19:44.36,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ANDY: 10%. 10%.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:44.36,0:19:47.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But the average left in British\Nrestaurants is apparently 8.5%.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:47.72,0:19:48.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Tight bastards.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:48.76,0:19:51.16,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the matter with you people?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:51.16,0:19:54.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Out of the Welsh and the English in\NBritain who are the bigger tippers?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:54.48,0:19:56.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll go Welsh. Yes, they are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:56.76,0:20:00.40,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,The English are the worst tippers in\Nthe UK. I'm not surprised by that!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:00.40,0:20:04.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I'm not either. The English\Nresent tipping. They do, don't they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:04.28,0:20:06.64,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think it's\Nthat they resent tipping.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:06.64,0:20:08.84,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I think they can't be bothered\Nto do the maths.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:08.84,0:20:10.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER\NProbably right!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:10.92,0:20:12.44,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what they resent...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:12.44,0:20:15.48,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"10% of 80p, that's what?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:15.48,0:20:17.52,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"Er, 5p..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:17.52,0:20:20.92,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the thing that counts against\Nnational happiness,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:20.92,0:20:24.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the process of splitting the bill\Nwith the bastard at the end. Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:24.68,0:20:27.32,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, I only had a beer and a salad,"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:27.32,0:20:30.88,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,with the drunk at the other end\Nwho's had nine white Russians.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:30.88,0:20:32.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:32.08,0:20:36.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DRUNKENLY: "Let's just split it,\Nyeah?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:36.44,0:20:37.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:37.96,0:20:40.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's true! It's so true.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:40.84,0:20:45.60,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,One day, you'll be the one\Nwho's had the nine white Russians.\NIt all comes around.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:45.60,0:20:49.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,If a waiter draws a smiley face\Non your bill, you might well\Nleave a bigger tip.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:49.64,0:20:52.72,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Where did Florence Nightingale\Ndo her most important work?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:52.72,0:20:56.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hospital. Where?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:56.32,0:20:59.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In a hospital. In a hostel\Nor a hospital? A hospital.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:59.36,0:21:02.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hospital. I think this was\Nin her bed. Yes, you're right!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:02.56,0:21:04.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You know a bit about her, clearly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:04.92,0:21:06.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think Florence Nightingale\Ncame back from the Crimea
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:06.72,0:21:11.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,where she'd done a lot of good stuff,\Nand then she took to her bed
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:11.28,0:21:14.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,in a rather sort of\Nattention-seeking way,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:14.60,0:21:17.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and was a bit of a pain the arse\NI suspect, but she made
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:17.28,0:21:19.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,the great and the good\Ncome to her bedside.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:19.48,0:21:22.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,She was such an icon\Nand she founded...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:22.20,0:21:25.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, British nursing\Nwas sort of founded by...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:25.84,0:21:29.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The odd thing is you said in the\NCrimea, having done a lot of good,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:29.08,0:21:31.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the strange thing is she felt\Nshe didn't do any good.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:31.60,0:21:32.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,She's right, she didn't.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:32.64,0:21:35.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You were three times more likely to\Ndie in Scutari, the hospital she ran
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:35.56,0:21:39.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,than you were in a rough field\Nhospital, because there was so\Nmuch infection.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:39.84,0:21:42.92,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It was a disastrous place\Nand there were reports that showed
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:42.92,0:21:46.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that the outcome of all the patients\Nunder her care was terrible.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:46.84,0:21:51.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,She thought this report would expose\Nher and she was ashamed in fact,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:51.28,0:21:55.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and she kind of had a decline.\NIt wasn't anything other than just
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:55.84,0:21:59.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,she thought her life, her career\Nand her reputation was over.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:59.04,0:22:03.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Went home, went to bed and stayed in\Nbed, but she lived, as you say,\Nover 50 years in bed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:03.64,0:22:06.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,She would awaken and start work\Nat five, writing letters
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:06.80,0:22:10.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and campaigning and doing all\Nthe good that she then did
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:10.20,0:22:12.36,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in laying down standards\Nof cleanliness.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:12.36,0:22:15.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But it was really to expiate the\Nfailure of her work in the Crimea,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:15.84,0:22:19.84,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which is quite surprising I think.\NYeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:19.84,0:22:23.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But if ignorance is bliss, then\Nprepare for a torrent of pleasure.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:23.24,0:22:26.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's time for General Ignorance.\NFingers on buzzers.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:26.80,0:22:32.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What is Africa's\Ndominant animal predator?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:33.64,0:22:37.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,By dominant, do we mean the one\Nthat kills the most things?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:37.24,0:22:39.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Kills the most other animals?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:39.92,0:22:41.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:41.08,0:22:43.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess, as a predator. Hyena.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:43.76,0:22:45.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is the right answer!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:45.60,0:22:49.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:53.36,0:22:56.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're on fire!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:56.00,0:22:57.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, because I watched something
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:57.80,0:23:01.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,where David Attenborough said,\N"The hyena is the biggest killer..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:01.56,0:23:05.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Most people might think it was\Nthe lion as the most dominant.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:05.12,0:23:07.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously mosquitoes\Nkill more humans.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:07.52,0:23:09.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But lions are lazy buggers.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:09.56,0:23:15.60,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They are. It's much more likely that\Na lion will scavenge the kill of a\Nhyena than the hyena that of a lion.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:15.60,0:23:19.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,We think of hyenas\Nas sloping away like jackals,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:19.52,0:23:22.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,but they're very intelligent.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:22.04,0:23:23.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There they are - spotty.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:23.44,0:23:26.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You wouldn't want one\Nround the house, necessarily.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:26.48,0:23:29.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You wouldn't want to be chased\Nby a pack of them. No, you wouldn't.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:29.52,0:23:35.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What's with the laughter -\Nthey laugh. What's that about?\NWhat does the laugh mean?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:35.20,0:23:37.00,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They're communicating.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:37.00,0:23:39.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a particular thing\Nthey're communicating.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:39.96,0:23:45.24,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They're watching Mr Bean.\NIt's popular in every country in the\Nworld - why wouldn't they like it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:45.24,0:23:49.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think they're laughing\Ncos they're remembering something\Nthat happened earlier.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:49.28,0:23:53.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yes. It's actually clan\Nsubmissiveness, supposedly.\NWould you like to hear it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:53.52,0:23:55.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Like to hear a hyena laugh?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:55.40,0:23:58.00,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you going to bring one in?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:58.00,0:24:01.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,HYENA LAUGHS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:04.72,0:24:05.80,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a good noise.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:05.80,0:24:11.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know as an acting trick -\Nif you are asked to laugh, some\Npeople find it very difficult.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:11.04,0:24:14.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's terrible\Nif it sounds false. Ha-ha!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:14.84,0:24:17.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But a simple physical technique\Nis...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:17.84,0:24:20.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Holding your breath.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:20.44,0:24:23.92,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No. No, it's the opposite. What you\Nhave to do is empty your lungs.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:23.92,0:24:25.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What most people do is go...\NHE INHALES
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:25.32,0:24:28.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..then ha-ha! and it sounds false.\NBut if you empty your lungs...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:28.64,0:24:31.00,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,HE LAUGHS BREATHLESSLY
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:31.00,0:24:34.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,When people are seriously laughing,\Ntheir breath...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:36.44,0:24:39.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So what is the ?5 note made from?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:42.08,0:24:44.80,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Paper.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:47.96,0:24:50.68,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's just get that one out the way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:51.72,0:24:54.04,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Er, it's made out of money.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:55.00,0:24:57.52,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,No, cotton and linen. Oh.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:57.52,0:25:00.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Not made from wood at all.\NMoney isn't made of paper?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:00.20,0:25:03.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No tree had any part\Nin the making of your ?5 note.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:03.40,0:25:07.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is surprising.\NBut it's not very funny.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:07.48,0:25:10.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But I thought you'd like to know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:10.56,0:25:13.28,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I just find it extraordinary.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:13.28,0:25:18.48,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you? Thank you. It sounds like\Npaper when you tear it up and laugh\Nin the waiter's face.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:21.76,0:25:25.00,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's for the smiley face.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:25.00,0:25:26.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"Steven."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:26.68,0:25:30.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently called Steven, but you\Nwere saying it with a V, I could\Ntell. Yeah, totally.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:30.84,0:25:34.28,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well done, that's right. Nothing\Nmore to say. Bank notes are made
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:34.28,0:25:37.88,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,from cotton or linen, because\Nwood-based paper is far too fragile.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:37.88,0:25:42.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But what happens to your\Ngeneral mood as you get older?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:44.00,0:25:46.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:46.32,0:25:49.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You become more...sedated.\NOh, there's Phill again, look.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:49.56,0:25:52.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, I think...\NYou don't get grumpier.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:52.80,0:25:55.24,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I think you get happier.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:55.24,0:25:58.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a thing in the paper\Na while back,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:58.04,0:26:03.12,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,surprisingly showing people around\Nthe age of 81 were really happy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:03.12,0:26:06.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Presumably, that's just smugness.\NYou think, "I've made it to 81."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:06.64,0:26:08.72,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I don't know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:08.72,0:26:10.72,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Nothing. No change.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:10.72,0:26:13.32,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, essentially,\Nyou just stay much as you were.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:13.32,0:26:16.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Your general disposition\Nseems to be more or less fixed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:16.52,0:26:21.20,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Except you wear a newspaper\Non your head. Yes, the actual\Nbehaviour can be a little strange.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:21.20,0:26:24.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But the idea that men become grumpy\Nor women become grumpy is nonsense.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:24.96,0:26:28.12,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I've read that,\Nso I'll put that there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:28.12,0:26:32.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There's been the Baltimore\NLongitudinal Study of Ageing,\Nwhich has been running since '58...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:32.08,0:26:36.40,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's one of my favourite studies of\Nageing. It's one of the best. And\Nit's shattered a number of myths
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:36.40,0:26:41.20,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,about the ageing process,\Nincluding the belief that people\Nbecome more depressed and cranky
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:41.20,0:26:43.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,or withdrawn or rigid or\Nbad-tempered as they age.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:43.96,0:26:47.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, adults change little\Nafter 30 in those terms.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:47.84,0:26:51.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The grumpy old git probably\Nused to be a grumpy young git.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:51.52,0:26:53.76,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now it's time to separate\Nthe cheer from the gloom
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:53.76,0:26:58.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,as we consider the scores.\NOh, good gracious me.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:58.52,0:27:02.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In the lead, with a magnificent\Nfour points, it's Phill Jupitus!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:02.44,0:27:06.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:08.04,0:27:11.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Very happy score. And...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:11.16,0:27:15.84,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In second place with\Na very positive one point, Rich Hall!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:15.84,0:27:18.08,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:22.96,0:27:27.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And despite his brilliance, in third\Nplace with minus 15 - Andy Hamilton.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:27.52,0:27:30.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:33.32,0:27:37.80,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I know. Unhappily, at minus 35 -\NAlan Davies. Thank you.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:37.80,0:27:39.48,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:46.24,0:27:49.04,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It only remains for me to thank\NRich, Phill, Andy and Alan
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:49.04,0:27:54.56,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and to leave you with this.\NAt a dinner for Sir Harold and Lady\NMacMillan, hosted by the de Gaulles
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:54.56,0:27:58.24,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,at the Elysee Palace, Lady Dorothy\Nasked Madame de Gaulle if,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:58.24,0:28:02.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,after all her husband's\Nmany achievements, there was\Nanything she still wanted.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:02.52,0:28:05.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes," said the First Lady\Nof France. "A penis."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:05.96,0:28:10.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,At which, the General leaned over\Nand whispered discreetly,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:10.00,0:28:13.68,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, my dear, in English,\Nit is pronounced happiness."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:13.68,0:28:15.48,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Goodnight.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:15.48,0:28:18.04,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:34.52,0:28:37.56,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:37.56,0:28:40.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,E-mail [email protected]