QI (2003–…): Season 16, Episode 10 - Episode #16.10 - full transcript
Hello, and welcome to QI,
where tonight we're enjoying
an absolute plethora
of painful punishments.
Please welcome the well hung,
drawn and quartered,
Jimmy Carr.
A cool cat of nine tails, Lee Mack.
Thank you.
An irony maiden, Alice Levine.
And with his neck on
the block, Alan Davis.
And their buzzers are
all suitably painful.
Jimmy goes...
WHIP CRACKS
Oh... Short but sharp, I think.
And Lee goes...
ELECTRICITY CRACKLES
Alice goes...
GUILLOTINE DROPS
And Alan goes...
COMMENTATOR: Tottenham Hotspur - 6,
Arsenal - 0.
The most painful cut of all.
Question one is all about the place
of eternal punishment.
So tell me, how many
circles does hell have?
Someone just went, seven.
SIREN SOUNDS
Was that for me?
Were you trying to...
That person was wrong.
No, not seven circles.
It's like Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire all over again,
with the coughing. Yes.
Seven. Five.
Five, why five?
Did you say hell
or the Olympic rings?
These are concentric
circles of doom that,
depending on how bad you've been...
Yeah, yeah. It just gets worse and
worse and worse and worse and worse,
and then the devil's in the middle.
Yeah, OK.
Who was the person who wrote
about the circles of hell? Dante.
Dante, so in Dante's Inferno...
Nine, nine circles of hell.
Absolutely, nine circles in hell.
So the first part of the epic poem,
the Divine Comedy.
So the seventh circle is the one
everybody talks about,
but there's nothing
special about it.
It's where murderers are punished.
Oh... Isn't there a weird thing
where murderers are punished there,
but then it gets worse
if you're a fraudster,
which I'm annoyed about.
APPLAUSE
It's just made like...
There's a murderer,
and then in a worse place there's me
and my accountant going, "What?!"
Well, you do strike me, Jimmy,
as someone that eventually
will murder, as well.
Thank you, Lee.
Just to get out of hell
one step at a time.
You're going to end up
in the eighth circle of hell.
The eighth?
where tonight we're enjoying
an absolute plethora
of painful punishments.
Please welcome the well hung,
drawn and quartered,
Jimmy Carr.
A cool cat of nine tails, Lee Mack.
Thank you.
An irony maiden, Alice Levine.
And with his neck on
the block, Alan Davis.
And their buzzers are
all suitably painful.
Jimmy goes...
WHIP CRACKS
Oh... Short but sharp, I think.
And Lee goes...
ELECTRICITY CRACKLES
Alice goes...
GUILLOTINE DROPS
And Alan goes...
COMMENTATOR: Tottenham Hotspur - 6,
Arsenal - 0.
The most painful cut of all.
Question one is all about the place
of eternal punishment.
So tell me, how many
circles does hell have?
Someone just went, seven.
SIREN SOUNDS
Was that for me?
Were you trying to...
That person was wrong.
No, not seven circles.
It's like Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire all over again,
with the coughing. Yes.
Seven. Five.
Five, why five?
Did you say hell
or the Olympic rings?
These are concentric
circles of doom that,
depending on how bad you've been...
Yeah, yeah. It just gets worse and
worse and worse and worse and worse,
and then the devil's in the middle.
Yeah, OK.
Who was the person who wrote
about the circles of hell? Dante.
Dante, so in Dante's Inferno...
Nine, nine circles of hell.
Absolutely, nine circles in hell.
So the first part of the epic poem,
the Divine Comedy.
So the seventh circle is the one
everybody talks about,
but there's nothing
special about it.
It's where murderers are punished.
Oh... Isn't there a weird thing
where murderers are punished there,
but then it gets worse
if you're a fraudster,
which I'm annoyed about.
APPLAUSE
It's just made like...
There's a murderer,
and then in a worse place there's me
and my accountant going, "What?!"
Well, you do strike me, Jimmy,
as someone that eventually
will murder, as well.
Thank you, Lee.
Just to get out of hell
one step at a time.
You're going to end up
in the eighth circle of hell.
The eighth?