Psych (2006–2014): Season 7, Episode 4 - No Country for Two Old Men - full transcript

Shawn & Juliet host a house-warming party. Juliet's parents attend, and it seems the step-father is a boring accountant. As he and Henry meet for lunch, it turns out the father has a few secrets involving gambling, debts and more.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Oh, Carlton.

What a great housewarming gift.

We could really
use these, um...

steak knives?

Those are ninja kunai
throwing blades.

For use in case
of a home invasion.

I suppose you could also
use them to carve animal flesh,

especially if said animal
is invading your home.

- Ah-ha.
- Mm.

- What's this? Oh.
- Oh!

Giant clown gloves. Finally,
a housewarming gift we can use.



Shawn, these are oven mitts.

Thank you, mom,
thank you, Lloyd.

You're so welcome, sweetie.

Well,
I-I believe a person

can't be too careful
when baking.

Which reminds me

of a very interesting story
about a client of mine.

And he owned a doughnut shop,

I believe,
that was in receivership.

- And--
- Lloyd.

I'm sorry, it's not the time

for one of my
accounting anecdotes.

Honestly, sweetie, it never is.

Besides, I didn't
marry you for your jokes.



I married you because you're
honest, and dependable,

and not to mention
incredibly sexy.

Oh.

Well, I think that's it
for the gifts, everybody.

Help yourselves to
an authentic Mexican buffet,

compliments of my dear father,

and the ladies from Ole Mole!

That's what I'm talking about.

Fan of Baja, California,
huh, Lloyd?

Oh, uh, yes, well, um,

I'm a bit of a geography nut.

With this new phone, I can dial
up maps from all over the world.

Uh, would you
like to see Swedish Lapland?

- Boy, would I?
- Just hold on a second.

See if I can...

get it.

Go ahead, I dare you.
Nothing gets past me.

Uh!

Don't worry.
I'll go and fix us a plate.

You know, babe, you're a much
better tennis player than me.

True.

It's amazing how fast
our lives change, huh?

You moved in with Jules,
I found the woman of my dreams.

Who neglected to tell you
she had a seven year old.

I gotta give it to you, buddy.

You sure are acting calm,
all things considered.

That's because
I'm not acting, Shawn.

I'm cool with it.
I'm a family man now.

Gus, don't be the remake
of Yours, Mine, and Ours.

For that matter,
don't be the original either.

It's okay to admit that you're
freaking out on the inside.

Maybe you don't understand

because you don't
have any children yet.

Don't worry, buddy.
It'll happen for you someday.

They grow up so fast,
don't they?

You met him a week ago.

I'll tell you, Julia,

I really expected your stepdad
to be a little different.

I thought Lloyd would be
a little more like--

Awesome? Like Frank.

Frank was a lowlife con man.

No offense, sweetie.

None taken.

- I think he was talking to me.
- Right.

I'm gonna go check on Lloyd.

See where those drinks are.

You know, Jules, first of all,

there is no longer a "you."
It's just "us."

We live as one now.

Matter of fact, we should start
thinking of a singular name

that covers both of us.

Juli-hawn, Shawn-iet,

there's also Shules,
if you're a fan of brevity.

Yeah, we're not doing that.

When Maryanne and I first met,

I was counseling her
in her accounting,

and I found
oh, so many discrepancies.

But the one thing
that I said to Maryanne...

You got to admit it'd be fun

if the two of them
became friends, though.

Come on, my dad
could use a new buddy.

Look, if a friendship
evolves, great,

but I think we should
stay out of it,

and let it happen naturally.

- You're right.
- Yeah.

Hello, this, uh--
this is Luther's, right?

I'd like to make
a lunch reservation for two.

My father, and soon-to-be
new best friend.

Wait--

Sorry, man, I'm not a fan
of nature, all right?

It's slow, it's overrated.

Hello.

Hey, Henry, it's Lloyd.

Listen, I'm gonna be a little
late to the restaurant.

I have to pick up a package

at a mailbox place
over on Presidio.

Oh, I know that place.

It's right around the corner
from where I live.

Why don't I just pick it up
on the way over?

Oh, no, I couldn't
ask you to do that.

Hey, it's no problem.

- You sure?
- No trouble at all.

You promise?

Lloyd, I could've
already gotten it by now.

Okay, the number is 227.
It's easier if you just

give 'em the number,
and not my name, all right?

2-2-7.

- Got it.
- You want to write that down?

Lloyd, I said I got it.
I'm not senile, you know.

No, I only say that

because I sometimes
have trouble remembering things.

It's 227. Did I say that?

Lloyd, I'm hanging up now.

Okay, did I say 227?

Hello?

Hi, there.
I need to pick up a package.

Box number?

2-2...

What is that third number?
Six?

You're asking me?

I can't believe
I forgot the damn number.

Maybe I am going senile.

Anyway,
it's under "Lloyd French."

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Get in!

Damn, they're gone!

- What the hell's happening?
- Buckle up, Henry!

♪Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!♪

You forgot the number,
didn't you?

You're seriously gonna
blame me for what just happened?

Don't worry,
they won't come after us.

- How do you know?
- This is their car.

All right, Lloyd,

you wanna tell me
what the hell's going on?

Well, as far as I can make out,

those Mexican gentlemen
want what's in this package.

No crap. What's in there?
What is it, drugs?

Oh, no, no.

The contents
are nothing illegal.

No, you have my word on that.

Well, your word
means diddley-squat

to me right now, Lloyd.

I'll bet you're
not even an accountant.

I most certainly am.

In fact, if you ever
need your taxes done...

In fact, I have a--

Hands on the wheel, Lloyd!

All right, Lloyd.
What's going on, really?

I'm delivering this package
to an old friend

in exchange for forgiveness

of a somewhat sizeable
gambling debt.

How sizeable?

Oh, somewhere between
$1 million and $10 million.

Who are you calling?

Lassiter.
Gotta report all this.

Could you do me a big favor
and hold off on that?

I'm asking you as a friend.

Friends don't lie to friends

and then get them
shot at, Lloyd.

You know,
I just had major surgery.

I'm sure this is not
good for my healing process.

- Yeah, can you--excuse me.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That was wrong of me.

Gimme one good reason I
shouldn't punch you in the face.

Glass jaw, winning smile.

Please don't.

All right.

Hear me out.

Then we can go to the cops,
I promise.

You got one minute.

This is my last debt.

All I have to do
is deliver this package,

and my slate is clean.

And you expect me to believe

what's in this box
is not illegal.

I swear on Juliet's life.

Maryanne, Juliet, the boys.

They all think that
I'm this boring accountant.

Finding out I'm just another
Frank is gonna kill them.

Please.

And afterward, we drive
straight to the police station.

Absolutely.

I was thinking a pinkberry
on the way back--

Lloyd, don't push it.

I smell cumin.

I specifically
asked for no cumin.

Mm, what smells so good?
It smells like cumin.

Help yourself.

- Sweet.
- What're you doing here, man?

I thought you were spending
the day with Rachel and Maximus.

Oh, I'm on a break while
she takes him to the eye doctor.

Gotta give him credit, man.

The way you're
handling this whole thing,

if it was me, I'd be
freaking out that she has a kid.

I'm the exact opposite.

In fact, I wish Rachel
had more kids.

I wish we were
the black Von Trapps.

- O'Hara, we just got a call.
- What is it?

Shots fired outside
a mailbox place on Presidio.

I know that place.
It's near my dad's.

Really?

Well, that's interesting--
the witness described

a middle-aged bald guy
in a Costco Hawaiian shirt

fleeing the scene,
getting into a Cadillac SUV

being driven by another
middle-aged bald guy

in a yellow tie.

You set up a lunch
for them, didn't you?

I thought we agreed to let
things happen naturally.

Okay, first of all,

why is everyone
so high on nature?

And what's the harm
in the two of them sitting down

to a nice gentlemen's lunch?

Because Lloyd
is a former gambling addict,

and I'm pretty sure
he's up to his old tricks.

Wait a minute.

"One Can Never Be
Too Careful While Baking" Lloyd?

Yes, I did
a background check on him

when he started dating my mom.

He'd been clean,
so I didn't want to tell her.

Is it weird that I like Lloyd
a little bit more now?

That is weird.

Put an APB on the caddy.

I'm heading over
to the mailbox place now.

I am coming with you.

Dude, you don't have to come.

Oh, no, it's cool.

Seriously, you should
go be with your family.

Ugh, I'm suffocating, Shawn.

Last week I was my own man.

Now, every time I turn around,
there they are.

I don't want to be
the black Von Trapps,

I want to be I Am Legend,
that's the truth of the matter.

You want to be
the only man left

in a post-apocalyptic world.

Just take me with you.

Go, Henry.

Lloyd, what're we doing here?

Where is your friend?

Close by.

Whoa, whoa, hey, Lloyd.

Lloyd, you never said anything
about taking an airplane.

Fairly certain I did.

- No, you said "One stop."
- Yes, exactly.

We get in the plane,
and then we make one stop.

That's not what you said.

Okay, fine.
Agree to disagree.

You lied to me.

My friend lives
just a short way from here.

We'll get back
before you know it.

Out of the plane, Lloyd.

We really should be going.

We're not going anywhere.
You're under arrest.

Henry,
we're practically family.

And need I remind you,
you're not even a cop anymore.

Let's go, Henry!

Whoa! Lloyd! Lloyd!

Wait! Wait!

Damn it!

It's just about four pounds.

- Maybe 3, 3.7.
- All right.

Detective Lassiter, SBPD.

I'm gonna need the tapes from
your store's security cameras.

Pronto.

Let's go, squirrel-face.
Tapes. Crime is money.

Lassiter.

Lloyd is still not picking up.

Yeah, I'm just getting
my dad's voicemail again.

Are you getting anything

to help us figure out
who might be shooting at them?

Uh-hmm...

unfortunately,
Indian food impairs my gift.

Especially curried crab.
I'm crab blocked.

Hey, why didn't you tell me

about Lloyd's
shady past earlier?

I was embarrassed for my mom.

He has the worst track record
when choosing men,

and not just Lloyd and my dad.

First, there was
Joe the embezzler.

Then Al the drunken pickpocket.

And then Steve, who sold
defective above-ground pools.

- Above-ground pools?
- Yeah.

That is quite a streak.

All I know is that
relationships are tough.

And sometimes,
a man just needs his space.

Dude, you were with Rachel and
Maximus for what, half a day?

Shawn, time is relative.
It's semantics.

- I don't think it's semantics.
- You don't know.

All right, call came in
from an employee

at a private airfield
out on Route 7.

Apparently a single-engine plane
just took off

with two men matching
Henry and Lloyd's description.

They were also being shot at
by a bunch of guys

matching the description
from our shooters here.

Oh, my God,
this is just getting worse.

Did they say
where they were headed?

They didn't file a flight plan.

- Can we track them with radar?
- Transponder's been turned off.

But it took off to the south,

and they've only got enough fuel
for about 300 miles.

Big fan of Baja, California,
huh, Lloyd?

I'm a bit of a geography nut.

I'm no longer crab blocked.
I know where they're going.

What?

Don't worry, Henry.

Things are gonna go much
smoother from here on in.

Oh, you look tired.
Why don't you grab a nap?

You stole this airplane,
you stole the Cadillac.

Those are felonies.
You are in big trouble.

Oh, relax.

No one stole anything.

I rented this plane,
and I'm fairly certain

those Hispanic gentlemen stole
that Cadillac from someone else.

That should make you
feel better.

- It doesn't. Not one bit.
- Well, then this will.

After we deliver the package,
lunch is on me.

Because I know
a place down here.

It makes a delicious
chicken sandwich.

Is that the border fence?
Did we just cross the border?

Well, if you ask me,
we should get rid of that fence.

You know?

This is America. It's the land
of equal opportunity.

Let everybody in!
Am I wrong, here?

You didn't say anything
about going to Mexico.

I did too. I said,
"My friend lives to the south."

That's it.
Turn the plane around.

No, no, I can't do that.
We're practically there.

And...

Uh-oh, good thing, too, because
we are almost out of fuel.

What? What--

I survived
a bullet to the chest

only to go down
in a fiery plane crash?

No one is going to crash.

I've done this so many times
on the simulator.

Simulator?

Are you telling me that you've
never actually landed a plane?

Not that many times.

Not ever.

This look even to you?

Oh...

This is pretty even, right?
Okay, here we go...

Whoops, that's too much.

Ah, that's too little.

And they say to breathe.

And... how you doing?
You all right?

All right.
That wasn't so bad, was it?

Smooth sailing from here on in.

Hello, Lloyd.
Welcome to Mexico.

Easy, easy, easy.

Oh, that hurts.

Oh, come on.

I'm surprised
to see you, Lloyd.

You're not a very
popular person down here.

Your friend used to bet on
every bull fight and card game

from here to Cabo San Jose.

He was also known for leaving
town without paying his debts.

First of all,
he's not my friend.

That's a bit harsh,
don't you think?

Lamas, maybe you haven't heard

I don't gamble anymore,
I haven't for years,

and I paid back
everything I owe.

Really? Then what are you
doing here, Lloyd?

I could not be more innocent.

You see, Henry and I
came down here

to pick up some of your
excellent Coca-Cola.

I don't know why,
but yours tastes better.

It's because we use real sugar.

Oh.

But I know that is not
why you are here.

Word has it you're here

to deliver
a very important package

to Pablo Nunez.

That Pablo Nunez?

I happen to know
you still owe him mucho dinero.

And I think in this package
are the engraving plates

recently stolen
from the U.S. Mint.

The same plates Pablo

has been trying
to get his hands on.

Well, this is worse
than I thought, Lloyd.

You've involved me in
a serious federal crime, here.

Henry, I admit I haven't
always been up front with you,

but I swear to you
on Julia's life--

Stop swearing on her life!

The plates are not in that box.

And I'm supposed to
believe that.

Yes.

Believe I've earned that.

- After all, I've saved your life.
- What?

No, I'm gonna
go a step further.

I've improved your life.

How the hell have you
made my life better?

Well, for starters,
you're on vacation.

And you're already getting
the basis of a really nice tan.

There's only one way
to find out the truth.

Cuff links?

That's what's in the box?

You are lucky

that I got to you
first, amigos.

Because if you were to try
to pass this off to Pablo,

when he thought he was
getting the engraving plates,

you would have
a serious problem.

Well, as I said,
we're just down here for pop.

Can we go now?

Yes.

But forget about
your delicious soda,

straighten out
your flight plan, and leave

before something muy malo
happens to you guys.

That's exactly
what we're going to do, Lloyd.

Thank you, Lamas.
May I?

Thank you for your time.

Shawn,
I can't believe you made me

stop and pick up
these chickens.

Look, Jules, you can't find
prices like this in the states.

We actually would've lost money
by not buying them.

Chickens, son.

My God, my mom
is gonna be so devastated

when she learns
the truth about Lloyd.

People aren't always
as they seem.

I mean, look at me.

I seem like this
great dad and whatnot.

The truth is
I abandoned my family.

- I'm a black stereotype.
- Wow.

So many things
wrong with that statement,

I don't even know
where to begin.

Actually,
that's not true at all.

You're no one's father.

Shawn, it's semantics.

- No, it's not semantics.
- Yes, it is, Shawn, it's se--

Would you two stop jabbering

and start looking
for Henry and Lloyd?

Look, Lassiter did me a solid,

and he's holding off the chief
for 24 hours,

so we have to find them.

You already told us that
in the car, Jules.

Well, I need
to cover my bases, guys.

For who?

Think we need to go this way.

Yes, sir.

- Uh-huh. Thank you.
- De nada.

Oh, Henry,
you gotta try one of these.

San Carlos is known
for its sopapillas.

I'm not hungry, Lloyd.

Mm, your taste buds
will thank you.

See, what you do
is you take a little honey,

and you put it
right in the middle,

and bam! You are in
Mexican pastry heaven.

I don't want
any damn sopapillas, Lloyd.

What I want to know is how the
hell we're gonna get outta here.

We have no car, no money...

no shoelaces.

I still don't understand why
Lamas had to confiscate mine.

Oh, yeah, well,

that's standard
Mexican police procedure.

That's why
whenever I'm down here,

I make sure to wear loafers.

Well, that's
a lot of help to me now.

- Thank you.
- Come on. Come on.

Have a sopapilla.

Hi, I'm Mr. Sopapilla.

I would like you to eat me.

Come on, eat me.
Eat me.

I smell something.

Battered...

fried...

sweet.

Sopapillas!

Oh, my God.

Mm, one more.

- Come on, you know you want it.
- No.

And why are you still wearing
that stupid jacket in this heat?

It's like a steam bath
down here. Take it off.

Call me old-fashioned,
but I believe a man

should look well-dressed
wherever he happens to be.

Whatever.

Don't worry, Henry.

We're gonna get out of this.
Something will happen.

It always does. You see?

- Dos, por favor.
- No mas.

Hombre!

- That's...
- Man!

In Spanish.

What?

Was your
last customer American?

- Amer--Americano?
- Si, compre seis.

Ah. I have no idea
what he's saying.

What did he look like?

Muy elegante.

- That's Lloyd.
- Uh-huh.

And was he with another man?
El baldo?

Wearing a, uh, camiseta...
Costco?

Si.

Donde?

Yeah, yeah.

Gra--gracias. Gracias.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Do they observe
the 10-second rule down here?

- Oh, no.
- Yeah.

Stop it.

Lloyd.

- Pablo.
- Nunez.

It is so good
to see you, my friend.

You too.

- Is that what I think it is?
- Yes, sir.

Is that the package have
been searching so intently for?

Yes.

And by "yes,"
he means it's "a package,"

not necessarily
"the package."

Lloyd...

I ask you to bring me
something really important.

Something other men have died
trying to get their hands on.

And you...

totally delivered!

Yeah!

Wait--

All you really ever wanted
was a pair of crappy cufflinks?

Crappy?

Uh, please, Pablo.

My friend Henry
doesn't understand

how valuable those are to you.

These cufflinks
belonged to my father,

a poor, hard-working man

who always taught me
to do the honest thing.

It's not his fault
I never listened.

I crack them up.

Anyway...

his dying wish was to be buried

wearing these cufflinks.

He believed a man
should look his best,

wherever he may be.

Couldn't agree more.

At the funeral,
some lowdown dog

stole them off
my father's body.

Probably my cousin Pedro.

Or my other cousin Pedro.

Or his daughter, Pedrita.

They have been
missing for years.

When Lloyd told me
he could track them down,

I say, "This is impossible."

Well, here they are.

Tell me, who did you
have to kill to get these?

Oh, no, no.

It mostly involved googling,
trolling around on eBay.

But the point is
you have them back,

and my debt to you
is forgiven, yes?

Consider it
paid in full, amigo.

Oh, that is wonderful news.

Do you hear that, Henry?

My--my slate has finally
been wiped clean.

That's great.
Uh, Lloyd, could we go now?

Go?
No, no, we must celebrate.

I have a feast prepared.

I just installed
a discotheque in my basement.

No, you are staying
the night as my guests.

Well, that sounds
really tempting,

but my truck is parked
at a meter, and I--

You refusing my hospitality?

What Henry meant was, uh,

we would love to stay,
wouldn't we, Henry?

I never say no to disco.

Vamonos.

- What does that mean?
- Payaso.

- What's a payaso?
- I have no idea.

Detective Lamas.

Juliet O'Hara,
Santa Barbara P.D.

We would like
to report a kidnapping.

Really? Of who?

- Our fathers. Our padres.
- Did you see this happen?

No, but we have strong reason
to believe they were taken.

We would really appreciate it
if you would run a check

on all late-model
Range Rovers in the area.

I am sorry.

There is no evidence
to warrant such a search,

and my staff
is overworked as it is.

Ah. Enjoy that age.

It's a great one.
What grade is your son in?

- Second?
- He does not go to school.

He is too busy making
those sneakers you're wearing.

I kid you.

- He's a doctor.
- Oh.

I kid you again.

You're so gullible.

Detective Lamas,
I did see it happen.

But not with these eyes.

With this one.

Shawn Spencer, psychic.

El psychico?

I do not
believe in such things.

Contrary to your
stereotype of Mejicanos,

we are not all
superstitious idiots

who stand at the window
looking out for the Chupacabra.

Hey, who does he remind you of?

- Eric Estrada?
- No.

The Mexican version
of Lassiter.

Eh.

I gotta figure out a way
to get him to help us.

I'm getting some
very powerful psychic vibrations

about the people in this room.

For starters, Detective Ortiz

is about to go
into a diabetic coma.

- You ate sugar?
- I only had one bite.

- Guzman is back on caffeine.
- Can't help it. Get sleepy.

And there is not one, but dos

inter-office romances
happening here.

And both of them
involve Detective Lamas.

A married man.

Diablo.

Si.
Nice to meet you.

Giant clown gloves.

Finally, a housewarming gift
we can use.

They're oven mitts.

I am also sensing
that Detective Lamas

has not been truthful with us.

Our fathers, our padres
were here, weren't they?

Your skills
are very impressive.

Okay, I admit it.

They were here earlier,
and if they were kidnapped,

it was probably by Pablo Nunez.

It is widely known
Pablo has been seeking

the engraving plates
stolen from the U.S. Mint.

And I believe that Lloyd
and um, the bald one...

were trying to fool Pablo into
believing they have the plates.

Do you have an address
for this "Pabla" Nunez?

Pablo lives in a compound

guarded by his
own personal army.

We could really use your help

in getting
our fathers out of there.

That I cannot do.

I cannot risk the lives
of my men, however,

if you were to find out

that the plates
were on the premises,

I could call in reinforcements.

I see.

And I take it this
Pablo Nunez's compound

is located at this

"Las Gravedas"?

- Gravedas.
- Grav--grav-daz?

- Gravedas.
- Gramedes.

- Gravedas.
- Gravedas.

Yes.

"Jess"?

- Yes.
- I believe it's a soft "J."

- Yes.
- And it's located there.

- No.
- Mm.

That is where Pablo's men
shoot his enemies and bury them.

Usually first thing
in the morning.

While the Chupacabra sleeps.

Well, that's great.

Thank you for the hospitality.

It was wonderful.

I gotta say I had
a really great time.

That lobster thermador--

oh, it practically
melted in my mouth.

Are you sure you don't
want to stay any longer?

- Well...
- We could play tennis,

have a swim, and it's Tuesday,

which is the night
we play celebrity.

Oh, I love that game.

Yeah, well, we really have to
get back. Let's go, Henry.

All right.
It's been a pleasure.

- Amigo.
- Come back anytime.

- You.
- Yes.

- Stay out of trouble, huh?
- I'll--I'll try.

- Thank you again.
- Adios.

Jeez, what's the rush?

- Is that--
- Shh, shh.

The stolen engraving plates.

I came across them when I was
looking for the bathroom.

Lamas didn't know
that Pablo already had them.

Wait, wait, you stole

the engraving plates
from Pablo Nunez?

Are you out of your mind?

At first I was
afraid to take them,

but then I said, "What would
Henry do in this situation?"

So, I did it, I took them.
I knew you'd be proud.

Run!

Hey! Hey!

Serpico, Henry!

- Serpentine, you idiot!
- Oh.

Figure eight!

Let's get to the truck,
the truck!

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What're you waiting for?
Let's go, let's go!

Ah--I never learned a stick.

What, you can fly a plane,
but you can't handle a stick?

No.

Move over.

- Careful, I have--
- Okay, okay.

- I got it. I got it.
- Ow, ow.

Whoa.

Oh, hey, Nacho. Oh!

I should make you
dig yours and mine

for getting us into this mess.

I don't know if this is
the appropriate time

to be pointing fingers, Henry.

When exactly would be
the appropriate time, Lloyd?

We're about to die.

I usually don't
come out for the killings,

which shows you how special
you are to me, Lloyd.

And Henry, I was only
starting to get to know you,

but I was impressed
with the dance moves

last night on the dance floor.

- What was that dance?
- Cabbage patch.

Yes, cabbage patch.

Chico and Nacho can't stop.

All right,
so what are we gonna do?

- What's your plan?
- What?

What's the plan?

There's no plan.

But I'm open to suggestions.
What are your thoughts?

Me? You're the expert
in this situation.

All right.
I'll come up with something.

Well?

I've got nothing.
Total blank.

- What do you see?
- Uh...

Lloyd and my father

are digging their own graves.

It's grim.

But Pablo's henchmen appear
to be doing the cabbage patch.

Okay, we don't have a lot
of time, what's the plan?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.

Pablo has the engraving plates.

Oh, gosh.

Uh, Juliet,
I know this looks bad.

So, I'm gonna just
tell you the truth.

I was down here
doing this gentleman's taxes.

Oh, save it, Lloyd.
I know about your gambling.

You told her?

When did I have time
to do that, Lloyd?

Uh, palo, I noticed
that there are two graves

dug here,
and yet there are five of us.

Obviously,
you will have to share.

Yes, but I think
I speak for the group

when I say who shares with who?

- I am not going with Lloyd.
- Why do you hurt me?

Considering that Juliet and I
are the lone couple

in the group,
I think it's only fair

- that we have our own grave.
- Excuse me.

After all we've been through,
I've earned the right

to rest beside you
just as much as Jules.

All right, look,
if nobody wants to take Gus,

I'll take him, Lloyd,
why don't you go with those two?

Man, I'm nobody's charity case.

I demand to dig my own grave.

Enough! No more stalling.

I've been out here
too long already.

Fine. Give this to my son.

Tell him I was brave.

Okay.

You come with us, buddy.
We'll probably go three across.

Get in the graves!

Seems like a...I don't know
if this is a jump, or--

Mexican Lassie!

Mexican Lassie.

Way better than
American Lassie, by the way.

- Not unlike Coca-Cola.
- That's why you were stalling.

How did you know
Lamas would show up?

- Shawn texted me.
- When?

We've been held at gunpoint
the whole time.

I managed to do it while Pablo

and his henchmen
were doing the cabbage patch.

Uh, can I get my watch back?

Because of you,
Pablo left his compound

and gave us the opportunity
to arrest him

and recover
the engraving plates.

I've contacted your embassy,
and they are sending officials

to get the plates as we speak.

Well, it looks like
our work here is done.

Now, if you don't mind,
I have a family to get back to.

Via tostitos, Mexican Lassie.

Stop calling me that.

Can I talk to you
for one second?

Lloyd, no, you lied to my mom.

You're no better than Frank.

Okay, look,
I know you're upset with me.

And I--I don't blame you.

But all I ever wanted to do was
be the man you thought I was,

the man I tried
to become after...

meeting your mother.

Um, would you--

would you mind if we didn't

tell your mom
about any of this?

She's the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Well, you did
recover the plates.

I guess that does
count for something.

All right,
I will keep this to myself.

For now.

But, Lloyd, I'm watching you,
and I promise, if you ever--

Done. No more. No more.
No, I swear.

I will try to convince
the judge in Santa Barbara

to waive the charges
for stealing the Cadillac

and crossing
the border illegally,

but you have to take that plane
back to where it belongs.

- Okay, that's--I promise.
- O-okay.

That is terrific.

Okay, I need a copilot.
Who wants to go with me?

No way in hell.

Sensitive guy.

I'm gonna file a flight plan.
Be right back.

You all right?

You know, when we get back
to the United States of America,

I'm gonna set up
a little lunch for those two.

Or we'll just--we'll let
nature take its course.

Thank God you're okay.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Well, when you didn't
meet us at the eye doctor,

we came looking for you.

Detective Lassiter
explained everything.

We've been
so worried about you.

What I did, leaving like that
without calling you,

that was wrong.

I'm sorry I left, buddy.

- I'll never do it again.
- Whatever.

Why don't we go home, and
spend a quiet night together?

Just the three of us.

Great.

Good.

All right, all right, gracias.

Wow. I didn't know
you spoke Portuguese.

It's the police in San Carlos.
It's Lloyd.

Oh, my God, what happened?
Did his plane crash?

He didn't make it
onto the plane.

He stole the engraving plates
from the cops and disappeared.

I cannot believe
that he lied to me.

He lied to all of us.

He looked me in the eye
and told me that he had changed.

- What kind of a man does that?
- Whoa, hold on, hold on.

Let's think about this
for a second.

Lloyd's a free man, right?
He cheats debt,

so he turns around and steals
evidence from the police?

That doesn't make any sense.

Hell, even Frank wouldn't do
something like that.

The shooter at the mailbox place
worked for Lamas.

Man! That means Mexican
Lassiter's corrupt.

Mexican me?

The hell are you blabbering
about, Spencer?

Call the airport.
Tell 'em to get a plane ready.

What?

- Don't tell me what to do.
- Lloyd's being framed!

We're going back to old Mexico!

- Dude, you don't have to come.
- Yes, I do.

Man, you have
a serious problem.

I know.

Tell me what you know,
Mr. Spencer.

Lamas has been looking
for the plates the whole time.

He sent his deputies
to Santa Barbara

to intercept them from Lloyd.

But what Lamas didn't know
was that Pablo already had them.

And thanks to us,
Lamas ended up with--

- Lamas.
- That's what I said, Shawn.

- Lamas--
- Lamas.

- Will you stop it?
- Focus.

Lamas ended up with them.

But he still needed a patsy to
pin the theft of the plates on.

And who better than Lloyd?

A U.S. citizen
with a gambling problem.

We've been
investigating Lamas for crimes

on both sides of the border--
robbery, extortion, and murder.

He's a ruthless killer.

It's been two hours
since we got

the call that Lloyd
stole the plates.

You need to prepare yourself
that your stepfather

may already be dead.

I don't know about that.

Lloyd has a way
of getting out of tight places.

Could I ask you guys
a question?

Are you two guys
happy in your work?

I mean, is this--

is this where you thought
you'd be two years ago?

You know, same old rut,

and making people
dig their own graves,

and then shooting them?

I mean, I'm sure Lamas has
promised you some of that money

he's gonna print
with the engraving plates.

Oh, come on, guys.

I mean, look who's out here
doing the dirty work.

You two deserve your fair share.
Am I wrong here?

I see Lloyd.
He's alive.

Here.

Oh, no.

Lloyd!

There they go!

Stay inside!
Go, go, go!

Through here.

Oh, no.

Aw, damn you, Lloyd.

Even though you put me
through hell the last two days,

they were some of the best
I've had in years.

I felt alive.

It's not easy for me
to make friends,

but that's what you were to me.

A friend.

A damn good one.

Gonna miss you, buddy.

Uh, Lloyd?

Yeah, Shawn?

What the hell--

What you just said about me,
I feel the same way about you.

Uh--you--I...

What is that?

A bulletproof vest?
How long have you had that on?

Oh, this? Oh, I've had this
the whole time.

You don't think
I would come down

to such a dangerous place
without protection, do you?

I did.

If it makes you feel better,
I was gonna pick you up one,

but I just--
I don't know your size.

Absolutely unbelievable.

I thought about
giving you mine, but I--

well, I figured you'd be okay.

You're absolutely unbelievable.

Hey. Hey, excuse me.

You took a shot at point blank.
You recovered.

I don't have
your healing powers!

Are you mad?

Are you mad?

Are you?

Sensitive guy, eh?

I'm just glad this whole thing
is over, and you're okay.

I need to tell you something.

I haven't been
completely honest.

The truth is,
I was pretty freaked out

about this whole
instant family thing.

- Oh, Gus--
- Let me finish.

I wasn't ready to be a father.

I was afraid that I might be
a colossal failure.

But after watching Henry and
Lloyd over these past few days,

and seeing how well
Shawn and Juliet--

well, Juliet turned out,

in spite of who raised her,

I realized there's
a huge margin for error.

What I'm saying
is I'm fully onboard now.

I'm ready to get up in there.

Let's do this.

Whoa, Gus, slow down.

Maximus isn't even close to
being ready

for you to be his dad.

As far as he's concerned,

you're just a friend building
a shelving unit in my house.

Really?

Yeah.

Wait a second.

Does that mean I really have to
build that shelving unit?

- Yeah.
- Oh...

- And clean out the garage.
- Man!

Okay, shower caddy
from McNab, keep or return?

Well, we could use it to store

the his and hers
exfoliating bath gloves

in pink and baby blue
that Gus gave us.

I say keep.

You said anything to your mom
about all the stuff

that went down in Mexico?

I think Lloyd meant it when
he said he really loves her.

Just gonna keep my mouth shut.

For now.

You know,
in spite of everything,

I still think
it would've been cool

if my dad and Lloyd
had become BFFs.

- Ain't gonna happen.
- Yeah. Nature wins again.

I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I'm glad we're gonna be
family one day, Lloyd.

Oh, what a nice--
I feel the same way, Henry.

Is this a bulletproof vest?

You think I'd ever hang out
with you again without one?

Heh. That's good thinking.

Which reminds me,
I have one small favor to ask--

Lloyd.

Could you pass me a Coke Zero?

Thank you.

Which reminds me, Henry, um,

have you ever
been to a cock fight?

I know this guy
down in Encinata--

- Lloyd.
- Okay.