Psych (2006–2014): Season 5, Episode 6 - Viagra Falls - full transcript

Two former cops come out of retirement to help Shawn and Gus solve the murder of a former police chief.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -

Henry, you screwed up.

With all due respect, chief,
I got the guy.

- He had a partner.
- And I'll get him too.

You're a detective now.
Stakes are higher.

I'm not here to ride you.

You made a mistake.
Own up.

Don't do it next time.

I'll work overtime, sir.
I'll fix this.

No, you won't.

I gave the case
to Peters and Boone.

I get that,
they're the best we've got,

but, sir, believe me,
I can take...

You can leave now.

Yes, sir.

I've done business with
some shady people in my day,

but you two, you might just be

the worst of the worst.


You come and get me.

I'll squeeze the coward
out of the both of you.

What is today, casual Friday?

No, Shawn, it's my day off.

The chief wanted all
living bodies on hand.

You know who the victim is,
don't you?

Santa Barbara's
oldest lobsterman?

No, Shawn.
Herb Wilkins.

He's the best chief
this department's ever had,

and my boss for over 20 years.

Well, here's the good news,
looks like he lived

eight or nine decades
before he met his maker.

I'm gonna ask you
to be respectful here.

I will politely decline.

Come on, dad, I'm kidding.

All right, I get it.

Who are the old guys?

Boone and Peters,
veterans of the SBPD.

Worked under Herb
for many, many years.

Volunteers these days.

These guys are legends.

So are leprechauns,
but you don't see them

rolling out crime tape.

You guys wish you had
1/10 of the knowledge

these guys currently have.

Hey, buddy.

Good to see you.
Thank you, thank you.

Oh, come on.

Dad, these guys are retired.

The only thing they do now

is keep minors
from doing whip-its

at the 7-eleven.

These guys knew Herb

better than anyone
on the planet.

Quit being a wise-ass,

you two might
learn something here.

The only thing
I'm gonna learn from those two

is what time
the hometown buffet closes.

It closes at 8:00.


It closes at 8:00, Shawn.

As many of you now know,

the deceased is Herb Wilkins.

He was SBPD's
police chief for 20 years,

and we don't know
what this is yet,

but Herb's legacy
is to be protected.

Looks like the poor guy
offed himself.

He definitely did not
off himself.

I'm having a clear vision

on a cloudy day.

Herb Wilkins did not...

Kill himself.

Thank you,
Mr. Peters, is it?

If it's all right with you,
I'd like to continue.

My name is Shawn Spencer.

I am the psychic detective
for the...


Son, we don't mess
with the devil.

You better ride that goat
with someone else.

The devil.


All right, well, how else
would I know that he...

was wrapped up in duct tape.

Which explains why

he's missing hair on his wrist.

Sir, I am doing my best

to respect your legacy
and your wisdom,

the many world and civil wars
that you've both seen

and perhaps fought in.

And Herb was not killed
on this boat.

Chief, I can tell you

Herb did not die on this boat.

Nope, not on this boat.

Nowhere near this boat.

He was killed in another
location T.B.S.

It's "T.B.D.," Shawn.

- What's "T.B.S."?
- That's the superstation.

Is it really though?

- This is embarrassing.
- It's fine.

He hasn't said anything
I didn't already know.

My theory
will be proven correct

after a quick inspection
of Herb's gun.

One problem there,
Ricky Nelson.

This is not Herb's gun.

And you know that how?

Because Herb went to bed
every night

with his favorite six-shooter.

And he named it
"Darla Saidman."

His gun was Jewish?

And Herb wouldn't be caught

having an affair with a Beretta.

You know, I never named my gun.

How 'bout "Mr. Thunderstick"?

This Beretta was placed
on the deck by the killer.

And the serial number's
filed off.

Which makes it untraceable.

See what I'm talking about?

It's a nice suggestion,
Mr. Spencer.

Oh, I haven't done
anything yet, chief.

No, I was speaking
of your father suggesting

that we bring down
Peters and Boone.

All right, listen up, folks.

I will find this cop killer.

Wrong again, Rick.

Herb was carried on this boat,

one person under the arms,
one person on the feet,

which means we are looking for
two cop killers.

♪ In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity ♪

♪ I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity ♪

♪ if it's all right ♪

♪ then you're all wrong ♪

♪ why bounce around
to the same damn song ♪

♪ you'd rather run
when you can't crawl ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I know you know ♪

♪ that I'm not
telling the truth ♪

♪ I know you know ♪

♪ they just don't have
any proof ♪

♪ embrace the deception ♪

♪ learn how to bend ♪

♪ your worst inhibitions ♪

♪ tend to psych you out
in the end ♪

♪ I know you know ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I know you know ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I know you know ♪

So once upon a time,
they were good cops.

I have a gift, Gus,
and you have me.

Besides, we're both young,

It's virile, Shawn.

Point is it's a couple
of old tortoises

versus two young, swift hares.

The tortoise won the race.

Only because he was tired.

That makes no sense, Shawn.

I think we should relax,
take a load off,

have some of my dad's
yum treats,

and talk about
why Meshach Taylor

came back for mannequin two
when everyone else said no.

I want all teams in my office.

No, no.
No, dad.

Peters and Boone again?

I've officially brought them on

as consultants for the case.

Now get in here.
Meeting's starting.

Come on, come on.

Stay in the background.

I'll try not to embarrass
you this time.

I can embarrass myself
just fine on my own.

You got that right, Rick.

Mr. Peters, sir,
is there something about me

that has rubbed you
the wrong way?

Perhaps my strong hairline

or muscular haunches?

You and your sidekick
are untrained pests.

Floyd and I
have very little patience

with your malarkey,
shenanigans, or tomfoolery.

The big three, sure.

Do you mind
if I start this meeting?

By all means, chief.

Okay, now,
it's all hands on deck.

No talking to the press.

I put a hold on all vacations.

And vacation sequels.

I think the Griswolds have
been through quite enough.

And I want to be kept in the loop
on every detail on this case.

What's up?

You looking for a handout?

I'm just being cordial.

You're eyeballing my watch.

It's a Casio.

You just proved my point,
slick fingers.

Can we focus, please?

Okay, what do we have so far?

Well, we're working on
getting access to Herb's house.

We should be able to get in
there by late this afternoon.

We sent the prints
pulled from the crime scene

to the lab for processing.

And we spoke to
Herb's daughter, Caroline.

She's flying in from Austin
to make arrangements.

They haven't spoken in years,
so I don't think

she's gonna be much help
to the case.


Do you realize that all
Peters and Boone do now

is play checkers at the park
with other retired cops?

These guys are still the best.

- You saw the work they did
down at the docks. - It's called luck.

Shawn, a good cop's
instincts never go away.

Look, it is your fault
that they are stomping

all over my turf with their
double-velcro easy steppers.

When a cop retires,
he should stay retired.

What are you saying, that I should
have never come out of retirement?

I am saying that it is time

for you to take off
the '70s goggles

and see that the world,
the entire world,

has passed those guys by.

I'm sorry to hear
that you feel that way

about my coming back to work.

Thank you very much.
Oh, God.

We're heading for Herb's
live bait shop,

dig up some clues.

Hey, sweetie, when we get back,

we're gonna need a fresh pot
of Joe and a baker's of glazed.

For the love of God, Boone,
I am a detective.

Sure you are.

We could leave in an hour
and still beat them to the dock

by four days.

You know that's right.

Did you know Herb
had a live bait shop?

- No, I did not.
- Damn it.

Not gonna sugarcoat this
for you.

This is a tough moment
for us, Gus.

Yes, it is.

We have friends who saw you
having words with Herb.

Well, everyone
had words with him.

We bought bait
at his shop all the time.

We heard he didn't
look very happy.

Herb was never happy.

He was a cranky old man.

I think we should avoid
Peters and Boone

until we have something juicy.

Then throw our something
juicy in their faces.

Yeah, like rotten peaches.

What? Where are we gonna
get peaches?

I don't know,
but I really like that idea.

Me too, but I think
we should get fresh peaches

and eat them instead.

- Right in front of them.
- Oh.

How 'bout a churro?

Hello, ma'am.

My name is Shawn Spencer.

This is my partner, Imhotep,

or "he cometh in peace."

Go ahead, show her your
"cometh in peace" face.

We'd like to ask you
a couple of questions

about one of your
fellow wharf-mates.

Yeah, I heard about Herb.

It's so sad.

Did he have any enemies
that you know of?

No, I don't think so.

How 'bout "frenemies"?


How 'bout "palholes"?

Herb was pretty tough,

but everybody respected him.

So you can't think
of anything unusual

that was going on?

There was one thing
I found odd.

He was spending a lot of quality
time with a young girl.

Is that right?

What can you tell us
about that little harlot?

Not much.

Long red hair,
about 20 years old.

Can't remember her name.

Samantha maybe.

She works at the Pacific
Treasures shop over there.

Right over here?

Oh, thank you.
We'll talk to her.

You won't find her there.

She hasn't opened her shop
the past few days.



Okay, Randy,
now what we're gonna play

is a little game called "damn good
chance you're gettin' shot."

Tuck the shooter, Floyd.

Tuck it?
This is how I do it, man.

I know this is how you do it,

but this is not the time
to do it how you do it.

I ain't tucking her
once she's out.

Tuck it, Floyd.

Should we step in?

Just a little tiff, Gus.

Besides there's no bullets
in that gun.

- How sure are you?
- One in six chance.

Those are the exact odds,

Well, the palm reader

and that guy who looks like
a young Lawanda Page

decided to join us.

Lawanda Page
from Sanford and Son?

You're damn right.

You let that hair grow out,
you'd look just like her.

You do have a little Lawanda
in the eyes, Gus.

Shut up, Shawn.

Can I go now?

Yeah, you can go.

Hey, I'm gonna be watching you.

Me too.

Just for the record,

I'm a psychic,
not a palm reader.

What you are is 172 pounds,

and we don't give a damn.

He's good.

While you two guys
were pussyfooting around,

we rounded up a suspect.

All right, just to clarify,

Gus is the only one
who pussyfoots.

And in his defense,
he has two bum knees

and an Achilles' heel.

Two Achilles' heels.

It's worse than I imagined.

And we're about to drop
a humdinger on you fellas.

Turns out old Herb
was playing adult ping-pong

with a 20ish-year-old girl
who works right here

on the wharf.

Maybe they were friends.

Why don't you take
the bifocals off, Tom Landry.

The man was shot

and he was having an affair
with a young dame.

A young dame who didn't
show up to open up her shop

in a few days.

I would think long and hard
before I spoke again, Rick.

And you better think
longer and harder

and then not say squat.

That's a high percentage
of thinking to not talking.

- Ah-ha, looky here.

Text from Jules.

They got the okay
to search Herb's house.

They'll be there
in about an hour.

So I guess we'll see you
at Herb's house

in about an hour.

- See ya.
- Wouldn't want to be ya.

Only 45 minutes
until the search, Floyd.

Good thing, Don.

Early bird special just around
the corner at Coco's.

Boone? What?

You guys can't do this.

No. This is our move.
We get here before the police,

and we break the rules.

Hey, we were breaking
the rules before they had rules.

Oh, so you have the copyright
on breaking the rules?

And we don't disturb the scene.

We do our search,
leave no trace.

Got it?

Yeah, thanks.

Please tell me we don't look
like that when we do our thing.

That's exactly how we look.

I think there's
a clue in that fish.

I think he knows that fish.

I think he thinks the fish

has information about
Herb's murder.

Floyd and I helped Herb
catch that walleye, you germs.

Back in '82.

That man could reel 'em in
like nobody's business.

He sure could, Floyd.

"Man could reel 'em in
like nobody's business."

Oh, look at that.

You and old Herb
have the same swimsuit.

- I wear a full-body fastskin
suit when I swim, Shawn.

It increases my speed,
endurance, and buoyancy.

No comment.

All right,
I'm getting something.

A man, or men,
a woman, or women,

perhaps pets, possibly feline,

unwelcome in this house,

searching high and possibly low

for something
that Herb Wilkins,

a man of many secrets
and potentially lies,

was hiding.

Getting sick
and tired of you guys

accusing Herb of misbehavior.

I'm feeling like I need
my billy club

and something
to wipe off prints.

Okay, calm down.

Maybe they're right.

But I guarantee you,

whatever those perps
were looking for,

they did not find
in this house.

Hey, Herb was the most

careful, thorough man
on the planet.

If there was
something important,

something that people
were after,

there is no way he woulda
hid it in his home.

Well, where would
he have kept it?

All right, you remember
back in the old days

when we had really, really
special evidence

and we kept it
in a secret locker?


I'll bet you

whatever those perps
were looking for

is in Herb's locker.

Can we be heard that clearly

when we turn around
and whisper?

I sure hope not.

Why do they shake hands
like that?

- I do not know.
- It's so ridiculous.


I know where Herb's locker is.

Dude, we didn't see
their car right there?

It clearly blends in
with the landscaping, Gus.

Shh, just act natural.

You guys gonna conduct
the search with us?

- Oh, I don't know.
- We're thinking about it.

- Later.
- Right behind you.

I am telling you guys,
do not follow us.

We don't need to follow you.

I already know where Herb's
super shady suspicious locker is

because of this.

Did he just throw
a loafer at me?

- It was a magnanni slip-on.
- What?

What, I know my loafers, Shawn,

and I won't apologize for it.

Floyd, I think you're gonna need your shoe.

It's not number nine, Floyd.

This is lucky number nine.

Isn't that your lucky number?

No, that's my favorite number.

You have a favorite number
and a lucky number?

I don't want to get into
this with you right now, Don.

Do we sound like that?

That's exactly
what we sound like.

Louie Sharavino.

I told you
it wasn't number nine.

Man, you didn't
tell me nothing.

Guys, would you like
a little help

from the palm reader?

We got it under control, Rick.

Looks like all Boone has
is some baby powder

and a bag of pretzels.

Whoa, whoa,
I think we can use that.

What kinda pretzels are those?

Snyder's of Hanover.

You get anything out of that?


The hungries.

You can't have these.

Gentlemen, I believe
we are looking for

lucky locker number 22.

Floyd'll break into it.

No, no, it's all right.
Gus can do it.

Oh, go ahead.
Be proud.

You can crack locks
and steal things.


For your information,

I used to have
an online subscription

to safe cracking magazine.

Hey, hey, hey.

You're disappointing me, son.

All right, look,

I say this with great respect
for Herb's legacy,

but let's just recap, shall we?

His house was burgled.

He was shot

He's canoodling
with some young vixen.

And now we believe
he is storing evidence

in his secret locker.

Is it at least possible
he was living a double life?



Oh, boy.

Simply no easy way to say this,

though I don't anticipate it
being difficult to say.

Herb Wilkins is the oldest
drug kingpin

in the history of the world.

Actually, Shawn, the oldest
drug kingpin is a guy named...

I can't do this
with you right now.

Maybe he was still
working undercover.

Yeah, the great cops never
truly retire.

These drugs
are still circumstantial.

Agreed, but this is all
starting to paint

a worrisome picture.

I just got confirmation

that Herb withdrew $50,000

from his savings account
three days ago in cash.

Presumably to buy this
surplus of nose candy.

Evidence points to a drug hit.

This is bad.
This is really bad.

All right, guys, look,
this is not the man we knew.

You guys just do
what you do best.

Let's get to the bottom
of this.

We owe it to Herb, huh?

Detectives, we know that
you're hurting right now,

so if you need anything,

please don't hesitate
to reach out to us.

You really mean that?

I do.

You mind picking up my duds?

They'll be ready at five sharp.

No, but I'll pick
your teeth up off the floor

if you ask me that again.

What could he possibly
need dry-cleaned?

Those crafty old devils.

They swiped a book of matches
from evidence.

Let's tail 'em.

How is it these guys
beat us everywhere we go

but always drive as if
we're in a school zone?

It's like we're following
Richard Farnsworth

in the straight story.

Except lawn mowers
don't have turn signals.

What are they doing?

Roll 'em up.

It is in your best interest
to stay away from us.

We're on this case too.

You're just trying
to taint Herb's good name.

We're trying to catch
a killer, same as you.

Same as me?

Don't you ever use
the words "same" and "me"

and "you" in the same
sentence again.

I didn't put "me" in.
It was just "same" and "you."

Look, I know you swiped
the matchbook from evidence.

- So?
- So we were gonna do that.

Just let us in on the lead.

You guys just don't know
when to quit, do you?

No, Gus and I never know
when to throw in the towel.

We're ready for the next round.

- Ring the bell.
- Ding, ding.

Boone, relax.

We don't care
what Herb was up to.

Let's put our differences aside
and work together on this.

Okay, I mean,
between the four of us,

we've got, what, over 300 years

of crime-fighting
under our belts.

What do you say?

We're the apples.
You're the oranges.

We've got to be the same fruit.


That sounds reasonable.

That's fair.

How 'bout grapples?

I do love a good grapple, Don.

Okay, it's a deal.

We're the grapples.

The Dollhouse?

What's a guy in his 70s
doing visiting a nightclub

that we can't even get into?


Well, what are we waiting for?

Nighttime, when the place
is actually open.

The Dollhouse, 9:00.
See ya.

The good news

is I got plenty of time

to change into
my club clothes, Floyd.

You don't
have club clothes, Don.



♪ ♪

Well, look at that.

We beat Peters and Boone
to the punch,

and it feels good.
Yeah, it does.

I guess that means
we got some time to kill.

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

I really hope Boone doesn't
take out his gun on her.


We were right.

Yeah, Herb was in here
several times

with a hot young thing
named Saralyn.

- Her co-dancer
said that Saralyn

likes to hustle cash.

I'm getting something.

Long red hair,
about 20 years old.

She works at the Pacific
Treasures shop over there.

Saralyn was young.
Young redhead.

How'd you do that?

I'm also sensing
she didn't show up

to any of her shifts this week.

I bet she's the same girl
that works

at the Pacific Treasures shop
at the wharf.

That's right.

See that's why Herb took
50 grand out of his account.

He was being seduced and
swindled by some young hussy.

But what about
the bag of cocaine

we found in Herb's locker?

He's probably dealing dope
on the side.

That's why he had
such a fat bank account.

No, no, no, no.
You just hold on.

We agreed to work with you two
not more than two hours ago.

Don't make me take
my shoe off again.

Whoa, Floyd,
you have to relax, man.

You can't be whipping shoes
at people...

It's Jules.

I gotta take this.

Give me the good stuff.

We got a match
on the prints we took

from Herb's boat.

They're from a guy
named Otto Derzius,

a suspected drug dealer
we've been keeping tabs on.

All right, well,
did you arrest him yet?

No, we're on our way
to get him.

He owns a nightclub
called the Dollhouse.

You ever heard of it?


Shawn, where are you right now?


Then what is
that thumping noise?

I don't know what that is.

Must be some sort of rush
at the book drop.

Shawn, I know that you
are at that club.

Do not talk to Otto
and do not search his office.

That is an order, and pass it
along to Peters and Boone.



Otto's a big-time drug dealer.


- Otto, big-time drug dealer.

Who's Otto?

He's the guy that runs
this club.

Hey, I bet Saralyn and this
Otto scumbag are a team.

Yeah, they swindled Herb
and then killed him.

Listen, the cops are on
their way down here.

We've been given strict orders
not to talk to Otto

or search his office.

We don't want to wait
around for that.

Well, neither can we.

Dude, that guy looks like
a Billy Zane action figure.

- Yeah, he does.
- Wonder how much he costs.

- He's a grown-ass man, Shawn.
I doubt he's for sale.

Shouldn't we at least ask?


We're gonna do a thing
from the old days

called "bark-n-mark."

- What's a bark-n-mark?

For starters,
you two stand here barking

like yappy dogs.
That's ridiculous.

Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna start a grease
fire in the men's bathroom.

Are you out of your mind?

How 'bout we just go outside

and find an open window?

Check this out.

The serial number on this gun
has been filed off.

Just like the gun on the boat.

Well, what do we have here?

That's the same type of bag
we saw in Herb's locker.


We better find out
where Otto is.

Dude, dude.


Check this out.


It looks good.
It looks really good.

Hey! Hey!

You guys all right?
What are you waiting for?

Come on, go get 'em.
Go get 'em!

Part of me hopes we don't
catch up with Otto.

All of me hopes
we don't catch up with Otto.

Ow, I pulled my hammy.

You're just saying that 'cause
you don't wanna catch Otto.

Dude, we're barely jogging.

We have no chance in hell
of catching Otto.

I just pulled my hammy.

You can't use a fake hammy pull

immediately after calling me
out for using it.

No, I really pulled my ham...

Talk to me, Gus!

- I'm okay!
- All right!

Well, we caught up to Otto.

The four of you are like
an incompetence machine.

You were given specific orders,

and you did the exact opposite.

Chief, may I say something
on behalf of myself

- and a teeny bit of Gus?
- No.

The psychic realm takes
orders from no one, chief.

When I feel, I must act,

and sometimes that requires



You're right.
Carry on.

Otto Derzius...

He was our prime suspect.

He's not much good to us now.

And let me get this straight.

You broke into Otto's office
and what'd you get?


Mr. Guster, tell me,

what'd you get?

Nothing, chief.

We got a whole lot of nothing.

That's right.


What about you, Mr. Boone,
what'd you get?


Well done.

What'd I tell you
about the menus, Floyd?

Come on, you know there's
some new takeout places...

There's a time and a place
for snatching menus.

You're saying a man doesn't
have to eat? Come on!

No, I'm not saying
we don't need to eat.

Excuse me.

You're both fired.

You're off this investigation.

Well, them's the breaks.

Sometimes you gotta make
the tough decisions, chief.

Oh, you're fired too, Spencer.

You're all off this case.


No, that's...


You stay.

You know, I've been fired
from many jobs, Gus.

Many jobs.
Well, I haven't.

Most of them set
surprisingly well with me,

but not this one.

I repeat, this one
is not sitting well.

We could still solve this case.

Oh, no, we can't.

By "we" I mean "us"
and by "us" I mean "them,"

because "us" plus "them"
equals "we."

Shawn, you need
to just shut it down.

No, we need to start it up.

We need to reunite
with Peters and Boone.

Bring this baby home.

You know what, I think
we underestimated those guys.

Did you not see the handful
of menus in Boone's hand?

Gus, we've been watching

- these old geezers from the start.
- So?

You know damn well he took
more than just menus.

Those guys are crafty.

Boone is wily.

Wait a second.

Just like the matchbook.

- We need to find them now.
- And by "we" you mean "us,"

and by "us"
you mean "them."

It makes sense, Gus.

You can't think of it
like numbers.

All right, listen up.

We've had our differences
in the past,

but we learned two very
valuable lessons from you guys.

One, it is never too early
to start trimming our eyebrows.

And two, good cop instincts
never die.

And one thing I know for sure
about you, Boone,

it's that you take one thing
and give to the chief,

like menus,
and you take something else

that we can actually use
to solve this case.

Not bad, fellas.

Take it.

These are all
the job applications

for the girls at the Dollhouse.

I knew it.

You still have your good stuff.

That means we have
Saralyn's address.

Come on, let's go
search her house.

Let's track her down.

Redeem ourselves.


Look, I think you guys
were right.

Saralyn teamed up with Otto,

they swindled Herb
out of his 50k,

and then they killed him.

And then that vixen
killed Otto,

because she wanted to keep
all the money for herself.

What about the cocaine
we found in Herb's locker?

Don't worry about that for now.

- Come on, let's do this.
- We can't.

Floyd and I thought
we missed the cop's life.

We thought we still had
something left in the tank.

We actually believed
that we could help you

solve Herb's murder.


Having a punk
smashing me in the knees

with wooden bats
and people spraying bullets

all over the damn place,

I'd rather just play
my checkers.

Okay, wait a second,
wait a second.

You guys are telling me
that you wanna quit

because you got hit
with a sporting good?

Well, guess what, so do we.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.

What kinda psycho
con-woman killer

puts down her mark
as an emergency contact?

My fourth wife, Maudine.

Seriously, nobody else
thinks this is weird?

Oh, no, it's definitely weird.

I don't think Saralyn
killed anybody.

Guys, we have to find her.

She is the key to this case,
and we can't do it alone.

We need two rock-solid cops
by our sides.

It's like I told Gus earlier,

you are us, and we are you,

and you are them.

And they are you.

And together,
we are all of it, man.

We are all of it, Jack.

Okay, sometimes he doesn't
make any sense.

I get what he's saying.

- Really?
- Thank you, Boone.

I'm not asking you
to do this for me.

God knows I'm not asking you
to do it for Gus.

Do it for Herb.

It's time the four grapples
got back together

and cleared his good name.

We're back.

- Sweet.
- You were never gone.

Well, they were gone
for 20 years.

Fellas, cars are this way.

Hello there.

My name is Shawn Spencer.
I'm a psychic detective.

This is my partner,

The gentlemen on the flank
are us in 30 years.

- 60 years.
- 20 years.

What do you want?

Want to talk to you
about Saralyn.

The cops were just here

I told them everything I know.

You're lying.

Okay, okay, I didn't
tell the cops everything.

Uh, Boone, maybe you want
to relax your trigger finger.

Tuck it.

Now would you be so kind
as to let us in

so we can ask you
a few questions?

Thank you.

How'd you know she was lying?

I'm a psychic, Peters.

How did you know she was lying?

She's a woman.

Tell us everything you know

about Saralyn's involvement
in the murder

of Herb Wilkins.

I used to work at
the Dollhouse with Saralyn.

She said that she needed
to make some extra money,

so I told her
about this job I was doing

for Otto on the side.

Pacific Treasures.


Look, all I can tell you

is that a bag would appear
inside the shop

a few times a month.

I delivered it to Otto.
I didn't ask any questions.

But my only way out of the job

was to find a girl
to take over for me.

Saralyn wanted to do it,

and it wasn't supposed
to be dangerous.

You win the worst friend
ever award, sweetie.

Trust me, I feel terrible.

Floyd and I helped Herb
catch that walleye.

Now what we're gonna play
is a little game called

"damn good chance
you're gettin' shot."

It's the same type of bag
we saw in Herb's locker.

It was salt.

The drugs came in on a boat
called the double whammy.

No, it's not...
twin kies.

Second wind,
that's it.

The name of the boat was
the second wind.

The drug lord would
dock at the wharf,

drop the bag of loot off

at Pacific Treasures,

and you and Saralyn

were mules.

Wait a second.

We spoke to Herb's
daughter, Caroline.

They haven't spoken in years.

Saralyn reminded Herb
of his daughter,

the one he hadn't
spoken to in years.

They even had
the same red hair.

Herb was trying to protect her.

That's why he took
the 50 gs out of that account.

He was trying
to buy her freedom.

What about the bag of coke
we found in Herb's locker?

Well, when he found out
what she was up to,

he didn't want her
to make that last delivery.

I'd bet the farm on that.

That's the Herb we knew.

Did you ever get a look
at this drug lord?

No, he was like a ghost.

Hey, he wasn't no ghost.

He's a man.

We're gonna find him,
and we're gonna kill him.

We're not gonna kill him,

Don't be so sure.

All right, so what do we got?

We got this drug lord and Otto.

They silence Herb to protect
their operation.

And then we bring
the heat on Otto.

The drug lord cuts him down
before he can talk.

Saralyn's the last piece
of the puzzle.

Yeah, we gotta find out
where Saralyn is.

Can you help us out there,

I wish I could.

But she packed a bag
a few days ago and took off.

It's so sad.

She was so close
to a fresh start.

She was supposed to graduate
from school in a few weeks.

Nursing school.


I know where Saralyn's hiding.

Follow us to Herb's house.

we know you're in there.

And we know you didn't
kill anybody.

We're here to help you.

Hey, you don't come
to this door,

we're gonna come through it.


Gus, they still got it.
Yeah, they do.

Go away.
I don't want your help.

Yes, you do.
We can protect you.

No, people try and help me,
and they end up dead.

Just leave me alone.

I think we should get fresh
peaches and eat them instead.

How 'bout a churro?

You listen to me, young lady,

you're in grave danger.

I know that.
Just go away.

- Can I go now?
- Yeah, you can go.

Hey, I'm gonna be watching you.

Me too.

I know who
the drug lord/killer is.

Okay, does anyone
actually believe

that Saralyn
is in that house alone?

- No.
- Mm-mmm.

What's the plan?

Well, we could sneak
through a window

and start a grease fire
in the bathroom.

- Do it Shawn and Gus style.
- We could.

- What was
the bark-n-mark again?

What in the hell?

You better get outta here
before you get yourself shot!

Hold up, hold up.
We want to offer you a deal.

Send out Saralyn,

take my friend Gus.

No deal!

Yeah, no deal!

Fine, I'm calling the police.

You dial, she dies.

Okay, okay, okay.

Send her out.
Take Shawn instead.

- Get outta here, you idiots.
- Take Gus!

He can pass for Omar Epps
in restaurants.

Take Shawn.

Trust me, you'll feel better
about yourself in comparison.

- Where are those old-timers?

I don't know, but we can't
keep distracting him

too much longer.

All right, follow my lead.

Age before beauty.

You're four months older
than I am!

- Since when?
- Since birth.

I'm gonna have
to shoot these morons.

Man, why you gotta bring up

something that happened
30 years ago?

You're under arrest, punk.

Nice job, detective.

Thank you.

Let's go.
Come on.

- It's the bark-n-mark.
- What?

Man, think we'll still be able

to knock dudes out cold
when we're in our 60s?

We can't knock dudes out now.

I hear that.

Let me start by saying

that everyone did
an incredible job today.

And the fact that I fired
all four consultants

and they went ahead
and pursued this case anyway

is something that
I'm choosing to forget.

Herb was a good man.

And if I were in your shoes,

I would have done
exactly what you guys did

and never given up
on this case.

- Thank you, chief.
- Well said. - That means a lot.

See I was talking
to Peters and Boone.

You guys should just
stayed fired.

Nah, sis, without Rick
and Gootsy here,

Floyd and I'd still be
in the park playing checkers.

Yeah, they were the kick
in the pants we needed.

Got a hell of a kid here,

Yeah, he's all right.


And then there's you.

Standing tall,

shirt tucked in a little tight.

Maybe a little too tight.

But there's confidence
in your eyes,

and a fire in your loins.

You know, I'd be honored
to take you in, Gus,

if you got no parents.

That's very kind of you, Boone.

But I do have parents,

and I'm in my 30s,
so I think I'm good.

Thank God for that.

I can't be taking in
no strays, Don.

Got lucky there, pal.


We just got a call
about a body downtown

on Tremont Street.

There's signs of foul play.

Yeah, whoa.

You guys are the best
there ever was,

maybe the best
there ever will be,

but you do know this was
a one-time deal, right?

Right, Henry.

All right.

What are you gonna do
with Saralyn?

I'm gonna do everything I can
to get leniency for her.

Herb was looking out
for a good girl with potential,

and I'll do the same.

Are they...

Those sneaky...

Holy crap.