Psych (2006–2014): Season 4, Episode 6 - Bollywood Homicide - full transcript

Special girl, huh?

Yeah, kind of.

It's nice to see you
applying yourself.

It looks like you put
a lot of work into that.

Thanks, dad,
but I don't know if I'm gonna send it.

Why?

Why, Shawn?

- There are obstacles.
- Obstacles?

All couples have obstacles.
The key to it is,

you're never gonna know
unless you put yourself out there.

- Gus says it'll never work.
- What does Gus know? Gus is 12.



You remember at that skate party

how he cried
when that girl touched his arm?

Come on.

- What do you think?
- Let's see.

The heart is good.
You tell her that {you think }she's pretty,

but not in an creepy,
aggressive kind of way. I like that.

{You know, }Down here, I think what you wanna do is,
I think you wanna...

tell her that you'd like
to call her sometime.

Do that.

It looks like you forgot
to address it there.

You want to write
her name big and pretty,

make her think she's important.
You know how sometimes I write

and I do the calligraphy
with big loops and swooping letters?

Do that, do that up there.



Dad,

could you do it?

Yeah, sure, I guess.

All right, what's her name?

Mrs. Phillips.

What's wrong?

I hate having to hide what we have.
You know, we can't really...

be together until you tell her.

I will.

Soon.

Mina?

You're back on in two minutes.

- I'll go.
- No.

I don't want to disturb your ritual.

It's bad luck.

This is my "I told you so" room,

where I like to gloat
after a completely wild accusation

turns out to be spot on.
That's my "oops" corner,

where I apologize to people
for being arrested

after a completely wild accusation
turns out to be just that.

Over there is where you get gum.

- Free, by the way.
- What?

- This is...
- I know you.

I met you
at our high-school reunion.

Yes, you did.

- Shawn tells me you're a teacher.
- Yeah, kindergarten.

That's great.
I think that's great.

I mean, kids... they're so great.
That must be really fun.

You know,
I loved my kindergarten teacher.

Before I went into law enforcement,
I actually considered teach...

This is detective Carlton Lassiter.

I do his job and sometimes his hair,

though clearly not today.

I'm really sorry.
I can't play with you today.

I'm about to go solve another case
and do it in record time.

It is at this point that I must decide
which part of that very bold statement

to riff off of. Now, I can hone
in on "another", which implies

- that he's solved more than one.
- That's pretty easy, though.

Or I crack down on "record time"

and the positive, for him,
record time is, like, 2 and half years.

- Good, not great.
- You drive a hard bargain.

- You love it.
- I know. Why don't you go home

and wait for me

not to call you?

He's just saying that so
that it'll be more dramatic later on

- when he has to ask for my help.
- More dramatic for who?

I don't know.

That guy, I guess.

All right,

so what exactly is this information

about the accident
behind the theater earlier?

This was no accident.

Really?

Well, that's helpful.

And you...

You know the victim?

Victims, plural.

Mina wasn't the only one.

Fortunately, she is the only one
who didn't get hurt.

Sir, you are exactly
what I needed today.

We're gonna have to do this quick
while his girlfriend is still waiting.

{I'm sorry, }Whose girlfriend?

Never you mind. I'm thinking out loud.
Don't want to interrupt your flow.

I like what you're saying,

so let's just go straight
to the million-dollar question:

who exactly is responsible?

I am.

I hurt them all.
I'm a danger to everyone around me.

All right, Mr. Singh,

this is how it's gonna work.

See, sometimes there are
these bleeding-heart activist judges

who won't take a detective's iron-clad
word for it when he gets

a perfectly uncoerced confession.

So just so we're clear,

I'd like you
to write everything down.

When you did it,
where you did it, why you did it.

Now, the why is very important.

- You're done?
- Yes.

You just wrote, like, three words.

Would you excuse me?

I'll just be a minute.

This place was actually built
by the Amish,

which explains the complete
and utter lack of zippers.

I was too harsh.

- When?
- Just now.

Perhaps always.

The truth is,
the guy in the interrogation room "A"

is a solid lead,
and I just don't have the...

- You know, to follow through.
- What exactly are you trying to say?

I'm saying I need your help.

All right,
but only if Abigail can watch.

I'll put a chair
in the viewing room.

Perfect.

Thanks, buddy.

This should be interesting.

First, I want to tell you that...

I love you.

Secondly...

What can I do for you...?

Raj.

- Can I call you Roger?
- First name's Rajesh.

I'll stick with Roger.

I'm going to tell you what I do.

I don't want you to freak out
because it's so cool.

I'm a psychic,

a great and powerful psychic

whose powers inspire fear and awe
in those who first experience them.

I am a crime-solving machine,

and I have closed over 50 cases,

many without pants.

Finally,
someone who will understand me.

You can talk to me.
I am your friend.

I hurt people,
lots of people,

lots of innocent people.

It's funny, 'cause you don't...
really strike me as a violent guy.

How could you commit these crimes?

I can't help it.
The attacks, they just happen.

I see.

And...

what, you use...

some sort of weapon?

I am the weapon.

Really?

And it's immediate.
Even I can't predict it.

I can just be alone

in a room with somebody.

Got it.

In that case, Raj,

I think all that's left here,

question-wise, is...

"why?"

I mean, why, why,
why do you hurt these people?

Why have I hurt these people?

You got to see this.
Wait for it. Here it comes.

It's because I...

It's because I'm...
It's because I'm cursed.

Yes, I win.

Finally!

Finally I put one over on him.

This is...

This is completely satisfying.

You're a psychic.
You must believe me.

You must be able to help me.

Can you?

Yes, I can, Roger.

I will break your curse,

and I will solve this case,
mostly...

Because the detective
who was in here earlier...

cannot.

This is so good.

Psych 406
"Bollywood Homicide"

Timing: Psych Team
www.sous-titres.eu

- Where are the bunnies?
- What?

{pos(192,220)}You said someone left a dozen bunnies{ on the front doorstep},
and you didn't know how to feed them.

{pos(192,220)}I made that up.
I just needed you here, man.

- This is about a case, isn't it?
- What do you think?

{pos(192,220)}I should have known,{ especially} when you said
they were falling asleep in { he palm of }your hand.

{pos(192,220)}Look, I was humiliated by Lassiter,
Carlton Lassiter.

A challenge has been issued,
I need every tool we've got.

{pos(192,210)}- Are you calling me a tool?
- I'm calling you my partner.

{pos(192,210)}My logic brain,
my magic wish machine.

What have we got?

{pos(192,220)}My name is Raj.
I have a curse.

{pos(192,200)}I don't do curses. You know that.

{pos(192,200)}- Gus, come on.
- That mummy almost sucked my eyes out.

{pos(192,220)}- It wasn't a mummy.
- Yes, it was.

{pos(192,220)}It was a snobby guy
and an effeminate dude in a wheelchair.

{pos(192,220)}Apples and oranges.

{pos(192,220)}This is a love curse.

{pos(192,220)}This poor guy thinks
there's some kind of hex

{pos(192,220)}on all the girls
he tries to hook up with.

We {
eed to do some }investigat{ing}e, find some evidence,
convince him he's not cursed

so that he can live a full
and happy life with his lady love.

Man, this is a matter of the heart.

- He's paying us, right?
- Yeah, cash.

{pos(192,220)}The last four women that I've dated
have all had terrible accidents.

{pos(192,220)}And with each girl,
it gets worse and worse.

{pos(192,220)}The first one had a car accident.
Another's apartment burned down.

{pos(192,190)}What do you do
after these things happen?

{pos(210,210)}I break up with them.
I have tried to be alone,

{pos(192,220)}believe me, I have,

{pos(192,220)}but then I met Mina,
and my heart couldn't help itself.

{pos(192,220)}I keep thinking
that the next time will be different,

{pos(192,220)}but every woman that I fall in love with
is targeted by forces I can't fight.

Do you have any enemies
in this world?

{pos(192,220)}I'm a nice guy.

{pos(192,220)}I don't know why anybody
would want to curse me.

{pos(192,220)}You are a nice guy, Roger.

{pos(192,220)}And I presume you could teach us both
a thing or two about cricket.

{pos(192,220)}But let's not jump to conclusions.
Show me where this accident occurred.

{pos(192,220)}It was just inappropriate, Carlton,
with his girlfriend standing there.

{pos(192,220)}When has anything he's ever done to me
been appropriate?

{pos(192,220)}Having his girlfriend there was just
a gift from god for all my good deeds.

{pos(192,220)}Speak of the devil.

{pos(192,190)}I want you to know that I am not gonna
gloat about what happened yesterday.

{pos(192,220)}Yesterday, why? What happened?
What day is this?

The truck ended up striking
the dumpster, fortunately,

which pinned the girl
between the grill and the wall,

but left her enough room
to escape without serious injury.

We talked to the{ truck} driver, who swears
that he put blocks under the tires

to prevent the truck from rolling down
the alley, which is on an incline.

- So it is a case?
- I checked out the driver.

He's been written up twice for failing
to take basic safety precautions.

- So it's not a case?
- We don't know yet.

The { ruck's }brakes haven't been checked
in 15 years.

{But at this point, }It looks like an accident.

- Like your hair.
- Really? Down to hair jokes now?

That is so sweet.
Look how much he cares for her.

He's really taking
this accident pretty hard.

My brother Jay is a choreographer,
he's been trying to get this playhouse

to put on a bollywood-style show
for years. There he is.

Come on, now.
Five, six, seven, eight.

Mina said she was coming in
to rehearsals today.

I'm just gonna go check on her,
make sure she's okay after the accident.

- You don't think Lassiter may be right?
- Gus, please.

Don't be Harry Potter
and the prisoner of marzipan.

- Azkaban.
- I've read it both ways.

- No, you haven't.
- Of course I don't think { Lassiter}he's right,

but it's not looking too good
for Raj's whole curse idea either.

How many of you have seen
All That Jazz?

No? White nights?

Gregory Hines, Baryshnikov?

That explains everything.
We're gonna redo the whole routine.

Go wait in my dressing room.
Go, go, go.

Lakshmi,

she's Mina's understudy.

Excellent.

Yes, she is.

So it's safe to assume
that you don't believe in this curse?

Everything that goes wrong in his life,
he blames on the curse.

I mean, it's a crutch.

Don't get me wrong,
I love him like a brother.

He is your brother.

Yeah, by blood,

but he doesn't live in the same world
as the rest of us.

He lives in a world of magic
and goblins,

and what he needs to do
is step into reality, okay?

Up!

Talk some sense into him.

I'm getting married in a month, I would
love to have a reasonable person

as my best man.

He believes in you, psychic,

for better or for worse.

That butterfly was right.

Raj is a guy that just needs
to get out of his own head.

Everything bad that happens to him,

he interprets as some sort
of divine intervention.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

How do we break him out
of the pattern?

Apparently he believes in me,

so I will lift his curse,
and you will be my special helper.

Cursed girlfriend-ruiner,

be gone.

This seems dangerous.

You're not letting the curse
leave your body.

- He's right. You could electrocute him.
- Really?

- His hand is in water.
- You tell me that now.

You saw what I was doing us
at that bowl.{?rifier la VO}

Repeat after me.

"I am not cursed.

- "It's all in my head."
- But it's not all in my head.

You have to say it in order
to believe it. Let me do the rest.

- Who is the professional here?
- You?

Close your eyes.

I am not cursed.

It's all in my head.

- I'm feeling it.
- Really?

Get me the hedge clippers.

I guess I am feeling something.
It's tingling.

That's the electrical breaker
shorting out.

- What?
- It's shorting out.

His hand's in water.

Are you here? Give me a hand,
I got some groceries here.

- Hallelujah, the curse is broken.
- What?

All gone. Get your coat.

- Broken?
- All broken.

Let's get out{ the house }
efore it finds you again.

All gone. You're curse-free.

What the hell?
{What is this, }Smoke in my living room?

Dad, it's not smoke.
It's just a little dry ice, okay?

We're helping a {ery nice }client by freeing him
of the feelings that he might be cursed.

{Is this }The guy that's got the girlfriends
that keep dropping like flies?

One girl that we know of for sure.

She {kind of, sort of, }almost got crushed by a runaway
truck, but she's fine, relatively.

- Did you talk to her?
- I didn't need to.

She's not gonna crush herself{, now, is she?}.

Smart-ass.
All right, just clean up this crap.

Ten-four.

That's me,

cleaning machine.

You seem different.

What?

Aren't you gonna introduce me
to your...

whoever they are?

That's Shawn and Greg.

And they helped me out

with a problem earlier,
and I owe them.

Can you hook my friends up

with two tickets
for tonight's performance?

Standing room,
back of the theater...

- Some reward.
- Come on, Greg.

Let's just congratulate each other
on a job well done

and enjoy this explosion of culture.

- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?

Just celebrating another successful
conclusion to a case.

- In record time.
- What?

Really?

Then you know that the brake lines
on the truck were severed?

Look, Lassie,
that truck was very old.

Parts can snap at any time.

You also know, the safety blocks

that should have been
under the tires were found

in the dumpster.

Maybe we should have done
some actual investigating.

- You think?
- What are you two talking about?

Nothing.

I just might need to go up there.

No, Shawn, you do not go up
under any circumstances.

- I think we made a huge mistake.
- I don't care.

- Shawn, stop it!
- Let go!

Don't go boneless on me...
My back!

I got you.

I told you it was a curse.

Did you notice anything suspicious
around the stage today?

{pos(192,230)}And you can't think of anyone
that's been threatening you?

No one.

{pos(192,230)}Don't you worry, miss.
I'm gonna find the person who did this.

I'm done. You can take her.

Raj, will you meet me
at the hospital?

No, I can't.

- I have to go.
- Go where? I need you.

This is all my fault.

I am so sorry...

For everything.

Raj, come back!

They're taking Mina { o the hospital }for x-rays.

{I'm gonna have }Some uniforms stay with her,
then take her home.

We should send a unit
to secure her residence as well.

This ladder is really built for one.

Jules, lots of things say
they're built for one,

but can easily fit two people.

Tanning beds, iron lung...
That's just to name two.

Why are you still here? II thought
you solved this case hours ago.

- Lassiter's really got your goat, huh?
- Yeah, he does, and I want it back.

God knows what he's doing
to that poor thing.

You don't really believe
in love curses, do you?

Jules, I'm a psychic.

I have to remain open
to any number of...

Why, do you?

Well, I think that everybody
who's looking for a soul mate

may, at one time, feel
that there are outside forces

conspiring against them, but...

Shawn, what are you doing?

It wasn't a curse...

Not this time.

Plastic.

That wasn't gonna
hold Mina for long{, now, was it?}.

Snapped in two
and painted to look like metal.

This means we're looking
for a real flesh and blood human being

or a genetically enhanced monkey.

Either way, someone wanted
to hurt this girl.

I'll have forensics see
what they can get off of these.

- This doesn't make sense.
- Why?

Because there were, like,
15 backup dancers up here, right?

I mean, how would the perpetrator
know that this trapdoor would give way

at the precise moment
that Mina danced across it?

What are we doing here?
I thought we were going to a movie.

Yes, movie, later.

But first, Gus and I need to knock
off some quick case business.

You!

He must've mistaken us
for someone else.

Go away, Shawn!

I wonder how many Shawns he knows.
I should double-check.

You are a fraud!

Dude, if you don't let us in,
we're gonna break through your window.

We need to talk to you.

We got to figure out
who could've wanted to hurt Mina.

Fine.

It's okay.

Fine.

Curse breaker?
You ridicule me?

My hand in a bowl of water?
You could've gotten Mina killed.

The reason the ceremony didn't work,
Raj, is because you are not cursed.

- It was sabotage, and I know this.
- And how can you be so sure?

Because I happen to travel in these
sort of metaphysical arenas, dude.

As sure as I am that Gus will
accidentally cause his own death...

I know that you are not cursed.

Now, we need to talk to you and Mina.
Is she here or what?

Who's out there?

Come on.

Wonderful.

More mouths to feed.

Thank you for the advance notice.

No, we didn't come to eat.

You know, guys, my grandmother tends
to make her food a little spicy.

- You might want to take it easy.
- Please. I'm one-quarter Jamaican.

- I'm also one-quarter Jamaican.
- You are not!

Stop telling people that!

So how do you know my grandson Jay?

We're actually friends of Raj.

You're not here for Jay
and Sita's engagement dinner?

We're helping Raj with a problem.

I'm sorry, was this chicken
seasoned with molten lava?

Sorry about that... Wedding stuff.

Hi, I'm Sita.

Hi.

Did you get the mango leaves?

They're not in season.

How can we have a wedding
without mango leaves?

Very inauspicious.

We could push the wedding date,
if it means that much to you.

Again? How many times
are we gonna do this?

Until it's right.

But I already booked
Kajagoogoo for the party.

What do you mean, like a cover band?

Come on, kid.

Don't worry{, Sita}. {Everything}It's gonna be great.
It'll be beautiful.

This wedding business
is more trouble than it's worth.

Better than being alone forever.

Really?

You're just fine?

I taught English to children
in Mumbai for a month.

This is very authentic.

What's the matter, Shawn,
you don't like it?

- I think I like it too much.
- It's so authentic.

{Dude, }I can't see anything
out of my left eye.

I see dead people.

- My god, even the water's spicy.
- Who does that?

What are you watching?

Footage from the night
that Mina was almost killed.

On the right screen {on the right }is
a performance from {bout }a week ago.

{What}Why {re }you watching this{ for}? We were {ll }there.
Went over the stage with a {ine-toothed }comb.

Just something that Shawn said
at the crime scene.

Wait.

Do you see what I see?

Looks like I better get a warrant.

All right.
I'm sorry, no offense,

but it's stupid
that you people eat food this hot.

I said "no offense," right?

You should marry her.

Dadi.

She's not on tonight's menu, sorry.

She's so much better
than your other lady friends.

There were some real gems
amongst those.

Dadi, those were
all very nice people.

And you found all of the things
that you said were stolen.

More uninvited guests.

Thank you all very much.

I'll just go to my garden
and harvest some food.

Okay, I will get that.

Spencer, excellent.

I'm so glad that you're here
to see me close your case.

Would you like a little insight
into our process?

You see, first we start by asking
a few simple questions.

Jay, would you mind telling me

who {is the one that}has changed the choreography

so that only Mina danced
over the trapdoor?

Of course, I changed the choreography,
but I had no idea...

And who{'s the one that} originally
wanted Mina's understudy for the role?

Well, I originally recommended Lakshmi,
but then I grew to appreciate Mina,

especially after
she and Raj started...

You have to stop him.

{I'm }Sorry, I don't think
{ hat's gonna}it'll be possible.

You see, my partner's already
searching his apartment as we speak,

and guess what she already found?

Turns out Jay's the one that rented

and had access to the truck
that almost killed Mina.

Jawaharlal Singh, stand up,
put your hands behind your back.

You're under arrest
for attempted murder.

- Stand up.
- What?

Let's go, tough guy.

Lassie, you can't do this.

You're way, way off base.

What are you talking about?

You're the one who gave us
the choreography lead.

Thank you for that, by the way.

Come on, come on!

But we're supposed to get
married in a month.

You're destroying my family.

So you came here to help Raj.

But instead you got his brother
arrested for attempted murder.

That's correct.

Business as usual?

It's a process.

{pub}I'm sure it's just
a misunderstanding.

Don't cry.
We'll sort it out.

{pos(192,220)}- Here's the good news.
- You see what you've done?

{pos(192,220)}You{'ve} ridiculed my curse and my beliefs,
and now it's affecting everyone I love.

{pos(192,220)}First it was Mina, then my brother,

and now Sita,
who's like a sister to me.

Look, Raj, I can fix this.

The case { hey have }against Jay is pretty strong.
They have motive, means, opportunity.

{pos(192,220)}The only thing they don't have is
a{
actual} video of him committing the crime.

Maybe you can find that
for the cops too, Shawn.

Leave us all alone.
You've done enough.

Stop it, Raj.

Just stop.

{pos(192,220)}There is no curse.
Someone is doing this to you.

Really?

Then how do you explain
what happened to Gita, Raini,

Dipti, and Victoria, huh?

- He's like a puma.
- We need to get out of here.

- How'd he get up {on us }so fast?
- I don't know.

- I blinked, and he was right there.
- He's probably right.

We should talk to Gila,
Ray Jay, and Dipstick.

You know those names
were nowhere near close, right?

It all started
with the break-in at my condo.

And then a car accident.

Next thing I knew,
my apartment was on fire.

We talked about moving in
together, right before it ended.

I met his family on Friday,
and by the next weekend, it was over.

He seemed really sad to call it off.

Right when things were best,
I thought he was the one.

I had that accident.

Then he said
we couldn't be together.

Are you as jealous
of this guy as I am?

More...

Except for the parts
where his girlfriends almost die.

They're releasing my brother,
no thanks to you.

Actually, all thanks to me.

I'm the one that lined up his alibi
with the timeline of the crime.

I'm the one that found two witnesses

that put him someplace else
when the sabotage occurred.

And I am the one that got him
arrested in the first place.

That last one didn't play.

Just scratch the last one, okay?

We spoke to your other girlfriends.

And we have concluded
that they were all kind of hot.

That's true.

But more importantly,
there's a pattern here.

This person,
whoever's out to get you,

only strikes when you get
serious with someone.

- I don't understand.
- {First of all, }It means it's someone you know.

Or knows you, and they only attack
when you've committed to someone.

I've devised a plan
to draw out the attacker.

We just need Mina...
I need to stop you right there.

Mina's gone.

What?

- You didn't kill her, did you?
- Gus, please, some decorum.

- You didn't, right?
- No! I put her on a plane.

I broke it off with her.

Maybe I was just meant to be alone.

You would rather lose her than see
the possibility of harm come to her.

You love her that much?

- I don't know any other way to love.
- Really?

Have you seen 9 1/2 weeks?

Or any of Zalman King's other stuff?

- What's the plan?
- It's not important now.

We were going to dangle Mina out
{in the open }to lure the killer to attack.

You were gonna make the woman I love,
the woman I would give my life for...

- You were gonna make her bait?
- Bait? That's a strong...

fishing term.

We were gonna make her an incentive,

since the attacker's only pattern
is to keep you from finding love.

I have an idea.

Man,

I don't like this.

- You don't like Julia dating somebody.
- Fake dating.

But that's not it.

It's this whole
"using her as bait" thing.

You had no problem
dangling his girlfriend {out there }as bait.

Now you're changing the rules,
aren't you?

Look at Raj.

He's getting
awfully "handsy" over there,

taking advantage
of the situation like that.

No, he's definitely bugged
by O'Hara dating this guy.

Don't leave the talk button on.

That was so good.

I've never had broccoli
in a milkshake before.

But just think
how good it is for you.

Well, well, well.

It's 11:20.

Look who finally decided
to come home.

I'm sorry, Shawn.

- Are you upset about something?
- As a matter of fact, I am...

What did I do?

I didn't like this idea to begin with.
You've been on four dates now.

It's been
a complete and total failure.

No, Shawn,
we've been on three dates.

No, there was the carnival,
where Raj won you a big, fat {stuffed }octopus.

There was a long walk on the pier,
where he kept brushing your hair gently{ out of your face}.

Then there was dinner tonight,
where there was a{
awful } lot of hand-holding.

Who could forget coffee
at the police department,

where you blushed and squealed
and giggled like a schoolgirl?

{That was not a date.}
He was there to sign some papers.

- You were watching us?
- It's called surveillance.

I "surveillate" things.

I'm a purveyor of "surveillerism."

Let's not get caught up in wordplay.
The point is,

we've been at this {little }charade for 3 weeks,
and it's yielded a grand total of nada.

- You're right.
- Of course I am. You see that?

It's clear that the killer doesn't think
detective O'Hara is my girlfriend,

or maybe they know
I'm still in love with Mina.

We can keep at this for six months,
we're still not gonna get anywhere.

Unless we did something
to remove all doubt, something big.

You said it yourself,
it { he attacks only }happens when Raj gets serious.

Right.

Your entire family's going
to the Holi Festival this weekend?

I have another idea.

You want to get married?

{pub}This is so considerate of you.

{pos(192,230)}I always wanted to go to the {Holi }Festival
when I was in India.

{pos(192,230)}Yes, I sensed that.

{pos(192,230)}I'm aware
of your immense love for...

{pos(192,230)}traditional festivals of colors.

{pos(192,230)}There also might be a killer here,
and I may need you to block an exit{ later}.

What?

Fresh laddu.

There's Mrs. Singh.

{pos(192,230)}She hates me, and people don't hate me.
I get {Christmas }cards from people I arrest.

{pos(192,230)}She doesn't hate you, okay?

{pos(192,230)}Apparently I don't fit the picture
of what her perfect Raj deserves.

I am smart, and I am fun,
and I am almost always in a good mood{, damn it}.

You're not actually marrying Raj,
remember?

- Let's just get this show on the road{, okay?}.
- Please.

Hello, everybody.

I see that a lot of my family
are here today, and...

I wanted to share
some great news with you.

As many of you know,
I've had some trying times lately.

I lost a love
that I thought was true

and... had some trouble
within my family.

But this woman here,

this beautiful angel
has been my savior.

And I know that a lot of you
will think it's crazy, and...

it may be impulsive, but...

I've asked my beautiful Juliet
to marry me,

and she accepted.

All right.
Looks like people bought it.

Now we just have to wait.

And watch.

Is it too early for a snack?

We've been here five minutes.

All right, I admit it.
I was wrong about the brother.

- {I think }We should call a truce.
- That's awfully big of you.

Detective,
might I have a word with you?

What can I do fo...

Wait a minute.
You're the guy from the theater, right?

{I'm afraid }I didn't tell you everything
the day you questioned me.

{You know }On that night
just before the accident,

I overheard
Mina and the Raj guy talking...

I hate having to hide what we have.

You know we can't really be together
until you tell her.

I will. Soon.

He was seeing someone else.

Mina was going to expose the affair,
giving Raj motive for murder.

He wasn't distraught
because he almost lost his girlfriend.

It was guilt
over trying to kill her.

His first confession was real.

Who, exactly, is responsible?

I am.

I hurt them all.
I'm a danger to everyone around me.

I solved it. It was Raj.
Truce over.

- You can't take back a truce.
- You coming with me or not?

Raj wouldn't cheat on his taxes,
much less his girlfriend.

I'll take that as a no.

Tell him, you can't take back a truce.
Indian giver!

I meant to insult
an entirely different group

of Indians.
Sorry about that.

You can't endanger Juliet
over a gripe with Lassiter.

I'm not. You heard the dude
from Temple of Doom.

Raj was hiding his relationship{ with Mina},

but from who?
That's who we're looking for.

And Lassiter's following Raj,
who didn't do it.

Then who exactly is watching Jules?

There!

What happened?
Where's Juliet?

I got hit from behind.
Next thing I knew, she was gone.

Did you see who{ hit you}?

- No, it all happened so fast.
- {Are you okay?} Do you want me to call an ambulance?

I'm fine{, really}.

Spread out, everybody.
I want eyes on my partner in 5 minutes.

You, take a break.
Have a sweet ball.

Excuse me.

There!

It's gonna be okay, Sita.
Just take it easy.

I know what's going on{ here}.

- You do?
- Of course I do.

Shut up! {And }Don't come any closer.

I can see... I can see it all.

You met Jay.
He proposed. You accepted.

Then you starting
hanging out with the family,

mostly Raj.

That's when you realized

you were truly in love with Raj,

not your fiance.

But you were stuck.

{It's not like }You couldn't call off the engagement,
make a play for Raj.

He would never do that to his brother.
So what did you do?

Really, dude? Really?

- Where was I?
- She was stuck.

Right. You were stuck,

engaged to one man
but in love with his brother.

So you decided to take action.

First, you did everything you could
to delay your wedding to Jay.

We could push the wedding date,
if it means that much to you.

Then, you sabotaged
all of Raj's relationships,

waiting for a time
when both of you were free,

convincing him
that he would be by himself

for the rest of time, making it easier
for you to swoop in at the {perfect }right moment.

Poor Mina,

she was the easiest one of all.

Nobody was gonna question
why you were hanging around{ he theater}.

After all, you were engaged
to the choreographer.

You swing by, you say, "hi,"

and that's what granted you access
to the crew's trucks.

Probably even had blueprints
and keys to the theater.

You even watched the {occasional }rehearsal
to see if the dance steps changed.

Get back.

I'm gonna kill her.

She can't have what I want,

because he's mine.

Me and Raj,
we're meant to be together.

Let her go.

Let her go, and all of this
will be much easier for you.

You were...

You were crazy in love.

Any fool could see
what would drive you to do this.

Word of advice,

when you take someone hostage,
you might want to check { hem }for weapons.

Drop the knife.
Drop it.

- Did Abigail see that?
- I'm { ight }here.

Yes, you are.
The pain surprised me.

And I wasn't supposed
to get slapped {in the face }by a girl.

It's a process.

It is a process.

- What'd I miss?
- Not me getting slapped{ in the face}.

- By a girl.
- 'Cause that didn't happen.

You're caught... Assaulting a cop
and tons of witnesses.

You're not gonna get away{ with that}.

Have fun with shock therapy.

{pub}I got a wedding invitation
from Raj and Mina.

It feels good,

{pos(192,230)}bringing people together,
watching them sail off into the sunset,

{pos(192,230)}giving a good guy
the old happily-ever-after.

{pos(192,230)}I felt for Raj. End of the day,
we had a great deal in common.

{pos(192,230)}You gonna go?

{pos(192,230)}I barely knew that dude.

{pos(192,230)}And this, Abigail,
is where we end our tour,

because right here

is where I{ consciously} choose not to gloat
when I've gotten the best of Lassie.

Right here?

It's more all...

All-overish, I guess.

But I've never {ctually }done that,

though{ I suppose} there's
a 1st time for everything.

Color me impressed.

I'd rather color you
with { variety of }edible body paints.

Duly noted.

Besides, it's not that impressive.

I solve a case every week
and usually one around christmas.

It was so impressive

the way you just attacked
that mad woman with a knife.

It says so much about your character,
about how you feel.

How I feel?

You risked your life
for a random coworker.

She's not random.

What I mean is, it's part of the job.
I would do that for anybody...

Colleague, coworker,

Corey Haim once.
Wouldn't do it again, to be honest.

Never got a thank you, and I'm {pretty }sure
he stole my medic alert bracelet.

- You have one of those?
- It's Gus'.

Long story.

So am I fingerprinting you or what?
It's fun,

but you'll have little{, baby } black fingers
for, like, a month.

Three {liquor }stores have been hit
in{ the last} 15 minutes.

Units are in pursuit of the suspects.
Let's roll!

Go ahead.

I got the last one.
We'll let Lassie have this one.

Want to do a fake mug shot instead?

Are you kidding me right now?

We'll need costumes. Where did I put
the key to the evidence locker?

The holding cells.