Psych (2006–2014): Season 4, Episode 4 - The Devil Is in the Details... And the Upstairs Bedroom - full transcript

Shawn and Gus investigate the suicide of a student at a Catholic University, which a priest and former teacher believes was caused the devil.

- Thanks for coming in, Henry.
- Of course, father. Of course.

I wanted to discuss Shawn's attitude
in Sunday school lately.

{\It seems like }I can't get through a lecture
without him questioning every detail.

Take this morning's, for instance,
on Noah's ark.

I'm sorry, dad.
But it doesn't make sense.

What doesn't make sense, Shawn?

Lots of things.

Like if the ark was built
in the Middle East,

how did animals
like the koala bear get to it?

God helped them get there
using his almighty power.

That's exactly right, Gus.

Then why didn't he use those powers
to create the ark?

Wouldn't that be much faster
than getting Noah to build it?

Because god prefers his creations
accomplish things on their own.

Unless those creations happen
to be koala bears, right?

Shawn, I think you're getting
a little too hung up on the details.

Really? You've always taught me
that details are everything in life.

- You're missing the point.
- How'd they keep all the lions

from eating all the zebras?

Don't you think that the seven lions
would have gone through

at least seven zebras by then?

They could have easily eaten
seven zebras by then.

Lions eat close to 5,000 pounds
of meat a year.

Why don't we break this down?
What have we got here? We've got Noah,

we got a boatload full of animals.
What would be his M.O.?

This is not a detective case, Henry.
This is...

Have you two ever considered visiting
the methodist church down the street?

It's quite nice.


- Wait!
- Get away!

Get... Stay back!

No, don't come any closer to me.

Stay back.

Come down.
I wanna help you.

How come you're so quiet?

- 'Cause I'm mad at you.
- What? How come?

How come? Really?

Does this conversation
sound familiar?

"Hey, Gus,
you wanna go to the beach today?"

"Are you sure you don't wanna check out
that jumper over at Saint Attalus?"

"It sounds like a straightforward
suicide to me. Are you peeing?"

"No, Shawn, I'm doing the dishes."
"Sounds like you're peeing, excuse me."

The nozzle was on spray mode.
And Shawn, I do not talk like that.

"Shawn, maybe we should stop
by Saint Attalus just to be sure.

there'll be all kinds of hotties

"running around
in catholic school girl uniforms."



Where are all the girls
in the catholic school girl uniforms?

- There's one right over there.
- No, that is a male bagpiper.

- Why is this case so important to you?
- It happens to be intriguing to me.

I'm here to see an old friend.

You randy little spaniel.

Why didn't you just say so?
Dude, you know I love playing wingman.

Just point her out,
we'll get this party started... tonight!

- Father Westley?
- Hello, gus.

Scratch the wingman thing, man,
I'm out.

- Thanks for coming.
- Of course.

- Been a long time.
- Yes, it has.

You remember Shawn Spencer,
don't you?

How could I forget?
He's my favorite little skeptic.

- {\That's why }My friends call me "skepty".
- No{\ they don't}.

- They will.
- I was {\so }happy{\ to hear} when you moved back here{\ to santa barbara}.

Well, you and I both.

I was right in the midst
of shoveling five inches

of snow off my driveway in Buffalo.

When I got the call offering me
the position here.

I can't believe{\ the two of}
you have become detectives.

Psychic detectives to be exact.

Actually, he's the psychic,
I'm a pharmaceutical salesman.

- We also do commercial jingles.
- No{\, we don't}.

We will.


- That's incredible.
- Thanks, I made it up just now.

- {\I was talking}It's about the detective thing.
- That too.

Can you tell us about the tragedy
that occurred here last night?

If you two don't mind,

- we're asking questions.
- If one of them is,

"do the female students
wear catholic school girl uniforms?"

The answer to that is no.



What else can you tell us
about the deceased?

Agatha was a model student.

Hard-working, well-liked, outgoing.

Then about three weeks ago
something changed.

She became extremely short tempered,
emotionally unstable.

Almost manic.
None of us knew what it was.

There was no history
of mental illness

and her friends say
she never touched drugs or alcohol.

Was she a fan
of the game Grand Theft Auto?

I know when I play, I become raving mad,
foaming at the mouth.

- I had to taser him once.
- Which I still feel was excessive.

St. Attalus doesn't allow
video games.

They don't allow{\*catholic}
school girl uniforms, either.

- Will you {\let that go}stop?
- No{\, I will not}.

Will you just stop it?

Excuse us for a moment.

- You know what I think?
- What?

- I think she was...
- You're wrong.

I'm sorry, I jumped the gun on that.
Please continue.

- I think she was murdered.
- Are you finished?

You're wrong.

My senses are telling me
that this girl committed suicide.

Well you can tell your senses
to kiss my sweet...

Love biscuits.

I don't know
if you made {\that any}it less offensive.

Look, you have to admit
there's something weird here.

I mean, a girl like Agatha doesn't just
randomly go nuts and kill herself.

- There has to be an explanation.
- I have one.

Now is not the time, Peter.

{\If you don't mind, }I'd like to hear what he has to say.

She was possessed.

I guess my video game theory
isn't looking so stupid right now.

Timing: Psych Team

{\a6}Psych 404 - The Devil's in the Details
and in the Upstairs Bedroom

So let me get this straight.
You think that she was possessed?

{\pos(192,220)}As in floating above the bed,
head spinning, pukes up on the wall,

{\pos(192,220)}- that sort of thing?
- That's the Hollywood version.

{\pos(192,220)}The real life signs of possession
are often more subtle than that.

{\pos(192,220)}Though there have been some reports
of levitation in exorcisms.

- That's true.
- You'll have to forgive father Westley,

{\pos(192,220)}he comes from an era of the church where
such beliefs were more widely accepted.

Today the majority
of us view the concept

of demonic possession
to be a little far-fetched.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

{\pos(192,200)}Father, you should come as well.

{\pos(192,200)}I'm speaking the truth.
You have to believe me.

I don't arrive
at such conclusions easily.

- Father Westley.
- Yes.

- You have a little shiver over there?
- No,

{\pos(192,220)}it's all this talk of devil
and possession.

{\pos(192,220)}I don't scare easily, but that stuff
makes me shake in my boots.

I'm talking to Vick, she wants to know
if you two dopes are on the case.

Lassie, my friend,

- I'm afraid the answer is a big fat...
- Yes.

- And by yes, he means...
- Absolutely.

{\pos(192,220)}May I speak with you in the "stop openly
contradicting me" room, please?

You can tell her we'll take it.


Since when do you accept a case
without running it by your partner?

- You do it every week.
- That makes it right?

Shawn, I know who killed that girl.


{\pos(192,220)}The devil.

So, I've been thinking...

{\pos(192,220)}If we end up catching the devil,
and he starts acting all devily,

I know what to do.
First, I'll buy a fiddle,

{\pos(192,200)}play a quick tune
so he underestimates my ability,

{\pos(192,200)}then I'll challenge him to a wager...
He wins, he gets my soul.

{\pos(192,220)}I win, we get his cooperation.

{\pos(192,220)}I get it.
You don't believe in possessions.

{\pos(192,220)}But I do.
Especially after I saw

this police sketch of the suspect.

Last seen
at the local canned ham factory.

How long did it take you
to draw that?

A good half hour,
but I think it sold my point.

{\pos(192,220)}Look, I know father Westley's theory
is kind of crazy.

{\pos(192,220)}But if he believes it,
then I need to take it seriously.

{\pos(192,220)}- You know how much I look up to him.
- I look up to Brett Favre.

{\pos(192,220)}It doesn't mean
I believe everything he says.

{\pos(192,220)}All right, that's a bad example.
It's those tearful press conferences.

{\pos(192,220)}- They get me every time.
- I just wanna at least look into it.

{\pos(192,220)}But{\ I don't think} I can have your back on this.

{\pos(192,220)}I know, that's why
I wanna be the lead investigator.

{\pos(192,220)}- Since when do we have titles?
- Since you ordered business cards

{\pos(192,220)}that say,
"Shawn Spencer, lead investigator."

{\pos(192,220)}No, silly.

{\pos(192,220)}It's "lead...

{\pos(192,220)}A business I was thinking of starting
after we watched Erin Brockovich.

- Okay... fine.
- Thank you.

You're the lead.

- I'm in the back seat.
- Thank you.

Yeah, come in.

Come on in, boys.

Let me get another look
at you two, huh?

You two haven't changed a bit.

Have a seat, boys.

You know,
I want to apologize for earlier on.

You know, father Bard, like a lot
of the younger members of the church

isn't very tolerant towards views
that he doesn't agree with.

I actually want to ask you
about that.

What was it about Agatha
that made you think she was possessed?

Well, her extreme change
of personality for one.

And that, coupled with...

the fact that I learned
that she'd been dabbling in the occult.

According to a friend,
she had been conducting seances

and using Ouija boards.

Both of which can be used
as calling cards

of sorts for demonic spirits.

Just for the record, father,

I use Ouija boards all the time
when I was a kid.

And never once was I pos...

You're gonna die up there.

Come on, man,
it's a line from the movie.

If {\you thought that }Agatha was possessed,
why didn't you

- or someone else perform an exorcism?
- Believe me, I tried.

But I had to get
the approval of the headmaster

who happens to be father bard.

And he said no, of course.

{\I think }I could have prevented her death.

That's an interesting theory, father.
But isn't it possible...

- Back seat.
- Agatha was a {\very }disturbed young girl?

- Back seat.
- Shawn, believe me,

I've dealt with enough disturbed people
to know the difference.

Look, I understand how this may seem
a bit illogical to you, but trust me,

possessions are real.

They're real.

I can personally attest to it.

This thing.

Come on.

Let me know when you're ready
to bail on the possessed theory,

because I actually have a real idea
for why Agatha was acting crazy.

There will be no bailing.

I just found these articles online
about father Westley.

Did you know he's one of the foremost
experts on demonic possession in USA?

He performed a bunch
of high profile exorcisms in the '70s,

including this one in Peru,
which lasted over a month.

I remember reading
about it as a kid.

In what?
This never actually happened magazine?

You mock, but check this out.

- Agatha's page.
- You friended a dead person.

No, I figured out her password
and logged on.

Let me guess.

She's kind of gothy, so it's probably
something like "bauhaus"

- or "siouxsie" with an "x."
- Her birthday.

No, that's too obvious.

- The password is her birthday.
- {\Good on you}Bravo for knowing Bjork's birthday.

Her own birthday.
Will you check this out?

Look at her status updates
from 3 weeks ago.

Notice how they're all cheery?

"Agatha is loving Santa Barbara {\right now}."
"Agatha played with the cutest puppy."

- I bet it was a labradoodle.
- You know that's right.

Look here now, the next day,
they completely change.

"Agatha is over everybody!
Agatha just wants to be left alone."

That is when she became possessed.


- may I go now?
- Go ahead.

Or, that is precisely when she started
having man trouble, come on.

What are you talking about?

She was wearing a sweatshirt
that was at least a double XL.

That means she either spent a few hours
in one of those cartoon steam boxes

that shrinks you a few sizes,
or it belonged to her boyfriend.

So why don't we check her photos

- and find out?
- Go ahead.

Man, how come every girl posts,
like, a million photos online

of her and friends
posing cheek to cheek? It's so lame.

Says the guy
who has that on his desk.

It's not posted online, gus.




I give you Agatha's boyfriend.

What's your name, smoochie?
Well, hello, Cameron.

We don't know
that they were having trouble.


Wednesday, the 5th:

"Agatha is pissy at her boyfriend."

"Agatha's tired of all the drama."

And the 14th:

"Agatha is now single."

That last one was two days
before she died.

I'll give you two possible scenarios.
One, Cameron dumped Agatha,

and she threw herself off a building
in despair. Or two,

Agatha dumped Cameron, he pushed her
off the building in a fit of rage.

Both of which are far more plausible

than the devil going down
to Santa Barbara.

- Where are you going?
- We are going to talk to Cameron.

I'm going to crack this thing.
But first,

I'm gonna need
my leadinvestigator title back.

Thank you.

- What was her major?
- It's Christian studies.

Christian studies.


Lassie has now beaten us
to a suspect.

I'm afraid history
will not look too kindly

on your tenure as leadinvestigator.

Hey, kids,

- what did we miss?
- This is Agatha's ex-boyfriend.

Let me guess.
Your name is Cameron.

- That's right.
- You guys broke up two days ago.

- And you weigh a solid 225.
- You're about 50 pounds off.

I got greedy.

{\Gosh, I'm }Sorry to hear about the breakup.
Those can be tough.

Let me guess, you dumped her,
but she wouldn't accept it?

Agatha was the one
that broke up with me.

I was willing to make it work.

Where were you last night
when she jumped?

I was in the desert at Burning Man.

I hope you can prove that, buddy.

Well, it looks like you guys
got this one covered.

Gus and I are going to throw back {\a couple }shots
and hit the confessional booth.

The dude's alibi is good.

There was a backpack and shoes{\ in the corner}
covered in sand from Burning Man.

Excuse me,
are you the grief counselors?

As a matter of fact we are, Mary.

- How did you know that was my name?
- Just a hunch.

How's Cameron doing?
We're all really worried about him.

It's tough.
{\You know, }He's hanging in there.

I think he'll feel much better
once the medication kicks in.

- He's on medication?
- No, I am. Just an antacid.

Is there anyone else you can think of
who's taking the news of Agatha's death

particularly hard?

Family or close friends?

You know about Lucy{\, don't you}?

Yes, of course. She charges,

what, five cents
for psychiatric help.

And if she ever asks you
to kick a football, you say no.

{\He's saying }We don't know about Lucy.

She was
one of Agatha's best friends.

She saw the whole thing happen.

Agatha died in her arms.


You wouldn't happen to know
where we could find this Lucy{\, would you}?

Hello, Mrs. Ryan.

My name is Shawn, this is Shawn.
No relation.

We're grief counselors
from the school.

Thank God. Please come in.

I'm sorry, I thought you were
just another pair of detectives.

There were detectives here earlier?

Yes, two by the name
O'Hara and Lassiter.

- Dude, you're on fire.
- They didn't get much.

Lucy was really withdrawn.

You two couldn't have come
at a better time.

It's like she's a shell
of her former self.

Do you think she has PTSD?

I'm afraid this is far more serious
than a mere menstrual issue.

It could be
post traumatic stress disorder.

But we won't know for sure
until we talk with her{\your daughter}.

In private, if you don't mind.

Of course.
Please, go on up...

Her room is the first left
at the top of the stairs.

Can I get either of you something?

A diet coke, some garlic hummus,
and the new Tv Guide, if you have it.

{\pub}Mrs. Ryan,

is your daughter
by any chance an expert yogi?

Or an olympic gymnast, perhaps?

No, why?

{\pos(192,230)}There's no particular reason.

Hey, Lucy.

That was some pretty sweet
spider walking.

We were hoping you could shed
some light on what happened last night.


We heard you lost your best friend.
That's terrible. We're so sorry.

Both of you die.

There's{\ definitely} something wrong with her{\that girl}.

She just saw
her best friend kill herself.

Imagine how you'd be if you saw me
torn apart by a pride of angry lions.

{\Which reminds me, }I'm having second thoughts
about our spring safari trip.

Hear me out.

Agatha jumped off {\the building }to kill herself
and the demon that was inside of her.

Right before she died, the demon
transferred out of her and into Lucy.

- Just like in The Exorcist.
- {\Do you realize }You're basing this on a fiction{\al movie?}.

You once tried to solve a case
using the movie Pretty In Pink.

That's completely different,
Pretty In Pink is more of a docu-drama.

All right, fine,
let's say she is possessed.

How come she isn't
projectile vomiting

and spouting stuff in languages
that she doesn't know?

You mean like that?

How many foreign languages
does your daughter speak?

Just french{\, why?}.

In your fudge.

She was speaking german.

- How do you know that?
- I went to college.

Lucy, please calm down.

{\Just }Admit it, the only reason
why you won't accept possession

as a real possibility is because
Father Westley came up with it.

- You've always had a problem with him.
- I don't have a problem with him{\father westley}.

He has a problem{\ with me}.

Because I have the ability
to see things in more than one way.

{\You know what?}You clearly can't see things
objectively right now.

That's it, I'm taking back over
as lead investigator.

Sorry, buddy.
Only one title switch per investigation.

It's in the fine print
on the back of my business card.

Come on, chill out, man.
I'm just messing with you.

Don't punch me, Shawn.

- That was way harder.
- Well.

- You want to do this?
- Come on.

- {\You wanna do this }Right now?
- Come on.

- Come on, baby girl.
- Come on, come on.

Excuse me!

What kind of grief counselors
are you?

We're very progressive.

This is an exercise that we do.

It helps us empathize
with your daughter's pain.

Right, watch.

I'm now going
to turn things over to the lead

grief counselor, Shawn.

You're on your own.

All right.

Where's is it?
Where is my Xbox?

- Where is it?
- {\I don't know }What are you{\'re } talking about?

Dad, this is not the day
to mess with me.

I can assure you of that.

I can't believe
you stole this from me.

I prefer the term "repossessed,"
in that you reneged on our deal.

I painted your house,
just like we agreed.

Minus the spots behind the bushes
that no one ever sees,

and the windows,
and of course, the entire back.

That {\thing }stays here until you're finished.
End of story.

Let me guess.
Relationship trouble?

- I hate it when we fight.
- I'm sure she feels the same way.

I'm not talking about Abigail,
I mean Gus.

So am I.

I was {\really }starting to make some progress
on this case we're working on,

and he refuses to let go
of this ridiculous theory that he has.

Do you remember
my ex-partner, Stevie?

There was this one time
when Stevie was convinced

that {\a rash of }break-ins was being committed
by an ape who had escaped from the{\ local} zoo.

{\Of course, }I thought he had lost his mind.
But I went down the road with him on it.

And it turned out to be
a good move, you know why?

I don't know. Headlines?

"Cops stop monkey business:
criminals go bananas"?

I'm trying to make a point here.

The point is
it turned out to be a good move

because from that point on
Stevie always supported my ideas.

You get your partner's back, Shawn.

Even if it means putting
your doubts aside for a minute.

What are you doing here?

I came back to help my partner.

Thanks, buddy.

But I already called someone.


I appreciate you keeping
an open mind about this.

No problem, buddy. Tell me if...

this girl turns out to be possessed
and the whole exorcism thing works...

Where does that leave us{\, as far as the case goes}?

It's over, we know
why Agatha killed herself.


Now when it doesn't work...

I'm sorry, if it doesn't work...

{\will }you promise me that we can go back
to doing things my way?

- And what way is that again?
- You know,

follow a few leads,
make some inappropriate jokes,

I'll remember {\some stuff, }and then we'll tip off
the police using a little bit of this.

- You got it.
- All right.

I want both you boys
in there with me

in the event
she needs to be restrained.

Have either one of you
ever been involved in an exorcism?

You need to be strong in there.


All right, let's bring it in.

- This isn't a ball game, boys.
- You.

I always try to start{\ every exorcism}
with a little humor.

Check this one out.
A priest, a rabb...

It's over now.

Let's go.


Right now.

{\You need to know that }Demons will do everything in their power
to keep from getting expelled.

And their powers are great.

And they know everything about us...

Facts, dreams, inner desires.

And they won't hesitate
to use them against you.

What's going on?

We're here to help.

But I don't need any help.
I'm fine.

See that? She's fine.
Great work.

- Who's up for some fro-yo?
- She's lying...

{\in order }to get us to leave.

If I woke up and there were two {\random }dudes
and a priest standing over me,

I'd lie too.

Holy water.

- In the name of the Father, the Son...
- Stop it! Stop it!

the Holy Ghost...
Hold her down.

Now! Hold her down.

You're okay, you're okay.

You're hot.

Thank you.
You're not so bad yourself.

Maybe a little...
Well, young.

She's using lies to distract you.

Well, it's not fair
to assume she's lying.


Be gone, Satan!

Inventor and master of all deceit,

- be gone!
- All right, you know what?

Carson D.'s got
Simon Baker on tonight.

That's a can't-miss, okay?
{\So }I'm gonna go, you{\guys } can keep exorcisizing.

I know about Mr. Reno.

What did you say?

He was
your seventh grade shop teacher.

You placed a tack on his chair.

How did you...
Did you tell her that?

You're the one
who gave him blood poisoning.

- No, we don't know that for sure.
- Get him out of here, Gus.

The man made
a living handling rusty metals.

Father Westley,
what in God's name is going on in here?

Good luck, guys.

{\pub}{\pos(192,230)}You sure you didn't say
anything to her about Mr. Reno?

Stay here. It's okay.

The most high God commands you!

Nomine patris, et filii,
et spiritus sancti...

Double whoa.

It's over.

She's clean.

- How's she doing?
- She's exhausted and a bit confused.

I have to say,
she really seems like her old self.

I can't thank you all enough.

It's Father Westley
who deserves the credit.

I was just doing the Lord's work.

Thank you, Father.

There has to be an explanation
for why Agatha was acting nuts.

- Tell me you have something there.
- I wish{\ we did}.

Her toxicology report
just came back negative.

Are you getting a premonition?

No, just a head rush.

Happens to me quite a bit
when I'm sleep deprived.

Spencer, you're wrong about this one.
That girl was murdered.

- {\I'm afraid }That's not humanly possible.
- And how come?

- {\First, }Because you think she was murdered.
- I guess we'll see.

- We will see.
- We'll see.

I just said that.
{\- No, I said it...}


So, if she had any drug {\of any kind }in her system,
it would show up on this report?

No, just the ones they test for.
The standard narcotics{\ and a handful of others}, why?

Do you have a specific drug in mind?

Not yet.

... bursts of energy.

Hey, Gus. What is up?

Why are you sitting at my desk?

Just working on my status updates.
Check this one out...

"Shawn Spencer
is trading in his Chevy

"for a Cadillac-a-lac-a-lac-a-lac."

Then why...

- Then why were you...
- What?

Why are you reading
my index of medications?

Because it's hilarious.

The section on medications that treat
urinary{\ tract} infections made me pee my pants.

Which is ironic
if you think about it.

- You're on to something, aren't you?
- Yep. Got to go. Thanks for the cake.

That's a sponge to moisten stamps.

Dad? You know I hate coming here,
but I need more partner advice.

Well, this is sad.

You haven't gone to bed, have you?

I tried, but it's this game.
{\It's like }It keeps calling me back.

{\I don't know how they do it, but }It lets you feel like a cop without
all the guilt after you shoot someone.

What are you doing?

Kids your age should not be cooped up
inside playing video games all day.

You should be outdoors feeding pigeons,
and driving with your blinker on.

What do you want, Shawn?

{\All right, }You remember I asked you what you should
do when you think your partner's wrong?

What do you do
when you know they are?

That's simple...

You tell them the truth.

But in the most
respectful way possible.

You were wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong, wrong. Finger-guns.

Wrong. Wrong.

- Wrong on your weenie.
- Shawn, put down the finger-guns.

Agatha wasn't possessed.
She was drugged.

I saw the toxicology report,
she was clean.

The preliminary report, sure.
But they don't test for everything{\ in those}.

{\Which is why }I made a list of medications
with psychological side effects

and had them test for those as well.

And guess which one
they found in her system.


- The parkinson's medication?
- Correctamundo.

And do you know what happens
to someone who takes L-dopa

that doesn't have Parkinson's?

They experience
extreme emotional states,

and uncontrollable bursts of energy.

What's up?
Sound like anyone we know?

That doesn't explain the lamp,
or how Lucy knew the German,

or the tack story.

All right, in order.
The lamp...

The chick was flailing about,
she was grabbing at everything.

The German...

Etcetera is a line
from Run Lola Run,

which according to her page
is her favorite movie.

I mean, it's a nice little film,
but favorite? Really?

It ends in the middle
and starts all over again...

Anyway, speaking
of personal networking sites,

I forgot that our good friend stumpy
from grade school

posted the following message
on my page a few months back.

"Hello, Shawn.
Remember when you put that tack

"on Mr. Reno's chair
and gave him blood poisoning?"

Stumpy wasn't british.

My page is open for public viewing

so that our potential clients
can check us out.

Clearly she went onto it
after we stopped by yesterday.

So, you think they were just
popping Parkinson's pills?

They were being given
to them secretly.

By who?

Someone with access
to the medication...

Which brings me to the bad news.

Father Westley?

He was diagnosed ten years ago.

I'm sorry, dude.
It all checks out.

- Guess what he takes.
- L-dopa.

Every day.

No. There's no way.

Think about it, Gus.

Back in the'70s, when disco
and exorcisms were all the rage,

he was the man.

Strutting around, exorcising demons
in his polyester cassock.

Cut to 30 years later,
and all the younger members

of the church treat him
like a crazy old man.

So what does he do? He tries to create
a possession to prove them all wrong.

He drugs the chick with the Ouija board.
That goes terribly awry.

He realizes he has one last chance.

When he learns that Lucy
was next to her when she died.

So he makes her possessed.

I really am sorry, buddy.

{\pub}- You're doing okay?
- Oh, I can't complain.

{\pos(192,220)}My vows of poverty and abstinence

{\pos(192,220)}that I took 40 years ago prepared me
quite well for prison life.

You believe I'm innocent, right?

I do.

But I need your help to prove it.

Do you know anyone
who had access to your medication?

Well, I suppose there were a lot.

You know, I kept it
in the top drawer of my desk,

I rarely ever locked my office.

Do you know of anyone
who may have had it out for Agatha?

Actually, someone does come to mind.


I'm afraid I can't tell you that.

They revealed it
to me during confession.

You can't make
this exception just once?

As a man of the cloth,
you know I can't.

How about a man of the orange cloth?

Your freedom is at stake here.

I have total faith that the Lord
will get me through this, Gus.

Until then, I have my Bible
to give me strength.

Proverbs 11:6.

It's been especially
comforting to me as of late.

Time's up.


- Is that you?
- Yeah. Yeah, it's me.

But there's no reason to come down.

I'm just here... I'm just here
to finish up the painting.

Where have you been?
I need to talk to you.

- Now is not the best time.
- Father Westley is innocent.


Someone confided in him
that they had it out for Agatha.

But he can't say who it is because
it was told to him during confession.

What are you saying? {\Are you saying }You have a hunch
based on unverifiable information?

That's what you use
to solve every case.

Okay, that stings.
It's true, though.

What else did he say?

He did say he's been getting strength
from a particular proverb.

All right, fine. Let's do a quick list.
"You can't teach an old dog new tricks"?

"A bird in the hand's
worth two in the bush"?

- "If it's brown, flush it down"?
- Shawn, proverbs 11:6. The Bible.

- What's going on in here?
- Nothing is going on.

Where is your Bible?

I don't know.
That's a good question.

- Where did I put it?
- Gosh.

- Really?
- Here, let me see that.

All right, look, this is just a shot
in the dark, but I think maybe... Maybe

Father Westley was trying
to tell you something

with the proverb that he mentioned.

Where's the table of contents
in this thing?

Tell you what, you do this,

I am gonna go prime the outside,
'cause I'm gonna paint!

If you leave with that bag,
I will pull out my gun.

All right, do you know what?

You need help.

I know. I know.

What's happening to me?

Okay, here it is.

"The righteousness of the upright
will save them,

the unfaithful will be trapped
by evil desires."

The unfaithful...

- will be trapped by evil desires.
- That's good.

- What up?
- Hello, Cameron.

Hey, guys.

What are you doing here?

Unfortunately, we're here to tell you
that you are under arrest

for possession
of an illegal hot plate.


Just messing with you, man.

We were in the neighborhood.
We thought we'd come by and say hey.

Are we interrupting something?

Well, actually...

- What's going on?
- Put a sock on the door next time.

Lucy and I were just
comforting each other.

Is that what the church
is calling it these days?

You {\mind to }tell us what's going on?

I know who was drugging Agatha,

and it wasn't Father Westley.

- You don't think it was me{\, do you}?
- What do you think, Lassie?


Great, now I know
for sure that it was...


- What are you talking about?
- Come on.

Admit it.

You wanted Cam the whole time
that he and Agatha were together.

That's so not true.

Yeah, Lucy and I
have always just been friends.

Cam, don't be so naive.
Men and women can't be friends.

When Harry met Sally{\ taught us that}.

It also taught us
that women often fake orgasms.

Lucy, you wanted him badly.

So badly {\that }it was
filling you with guilt.

So much guilt that you had
to go and confess to someone

in order to get it off your chest,
isn't that right?

Did Father Westley
tell you about that?

You just did.

I know how this movie ends.

She desperately
wanted them to break up.

So she stole
Father Westley's medication

and secretly gave it to Agatha

{\in hopes}hoping {\that }the poor girl would act so crazy
that Cameron would dump her.

But Agatha ended up dumping him,
but that didn't matter.

Because Lucy got what Lucy wanted.
But there was a problem.

The medication
made Agatha too crazy.

And then Lucy was trapped.

'Cause it was only a matter of time
before someone uncovered your {\little }plan.

Then she overheard
Father Westley's proclamation.

She was possessed.

And she figured she had the perfect
thing to throw us off the trail.

Props to you for your performance
as a possessed girl.

Linda Blair would be proud.

And now you can do your best impression
of her inchained heat.


- Red heat.
- Right.

Two prison movies!

Is this true?

I never meant to hurt her, honest.

I just knew
that she wasn't right for you.

Let's go.

{\pub}Okay, you're up.

Look, I'm having second thoughts
about this whole confession thing.

- You promised me you'd go just once.
- I know, I know I did.

But it's Father Westley,
and he knows me.

And it just... It feels weird.

Trust me, you'll feel
better about yourself.

Go on.

Wrong door.

Bless me father for I have sinned,
it's been...

Carry the one...

15 years since my last confession.

That's not very priestly...

I don't think.

As far as the sinning goes,

I'm a little unclear as to
what's still on the list nowadays.

I'm assuming that stealing
is still a no-no, right?

- That's correct.
- Okay, and then greed?

- Impure thoughts?
- Big time.

{\Do }You have any place you need to be {\anytime }soon{\, father}?
{\'Cause }This could take a while.

Let's start with the lying.
I do it all the time.

But here's the good news:
nature of my job.

Yeah, go on.

I'd rather switch over to stealing,
if you don't mind.

I don't do it often, but {\there is }something{\that}'s
been gnawing at me lately.

Gus, can you hear me?

Here's the thing,
I've been stealing food

that Gus hides in his desk
and eating it.

And then blaming it
on the cleaning lady Onelia.

I knew it!
I knew it!

Damn it.

Was that word a sin?

I'm sorry.

One thing I wasn't lying about
was the commercial jingles.

Perhaps, I could help the church out
with a new theme.

Boom, boom, boom wafers

No, that's not it.

That's not the one.
Let me try this.

Boom, boom, boom holy ghost

I like that.
Holy ghost.