Psych (2006–2014): Season 4, Episode 10 - You Can't Handle This Episode - full transcript

In a battle drill...

All right, Shawn, that's it.

Come on, up and at 'em. It's noon.
Half the day is gone.

Mean firepower.

Look at this, these guys right here.

What they're doing?
Jumping out of helicopters.

Look at that guy,
he's rappelling down a mountainside.

Look at everything they're getting done
while you're laying here slacking off.

What does that make you want
to do when you grow up?

Join the Army.

Go into advertising.



It's a really catchy jingle.

Seriously,
I can't get it out of my head.

Let me get this straight.

Hotel manager says she
found a body this morning,

but you're saying John Doe offed himself
20 hours ago.

When I said I wanted to see you,
this is not that I had in mind.

I thought you said
spending time together

was more important than
what we were doing.

Let me just solve this quickly,
and we can go.

I do not believe this man
committed suicide.

Unfortunately, he was murdered.

- Wait, already? Are you sure?
- 41%.

Why, Shawn?

O'Hara, I think we got this one covered.
Spencer, why don't you get...



I'm sorry, did you...
bring a date to the crime scene?

It was either this or ice skating.
But I'm not anti-ice skating.

Do you have any idea
how inappropriate that is?

More inappropriate than yelling
at a co-worker in front of his date?

Why don't you zip it
and let me assess what's going on here

before you turn it into
a psychic crap fest.

Dude, the chair.
The chair he stepped on.

To hang himself, legs would have kicked
it backwards,

and yet it's forward.

This is remedial stuff.

I do not believe this man was alone
in the room when he died.

Enough! I'm already onto something
being fishy here without your help.

- Look at the position of the chair.
- Good boy, Lassie.

But come on,

half-naked John Doe...

No wallet, no I.D.

No identification.

There's no card with the...
It's got the...

I'm seeking what?

- An I.D. Card?
- There's not one.

Clearly you will need me
to read the body.

Check the throat. He's trying
to tell me something, but he can't.

I was just about to say that.
Check his throat.

Are those dog tags?

Crap, this guy was a soldier.

- What does this mean?
- It means

it's not just a possible homicide,
now it's a military crime.

I may know someone who can help.

- Hey, little sis.
- Ewan, hi.

I am so sorry to bother you.

I know you must be busy, but I just have
a couple of questions about this case.

I'm never too busy for you.

- I'm sorry, are you at work?
- Yeah, cleaning out the inbox as usual.

- Can I call you back?
- Sure, but it'll only take a minute.

Same here.

Dude!

- Hey, sis, I was just gonna...
- Alpha 4.

This is not your sister.

Yeah, I gather.
Funny you should call now.

Mission complete.
Your docs are safe

and will be at the destination
and hopefully dry by 1600.

America wins.

Just in time.

As usual, you're a credit
to your country, Alpha Four.

Thank you for calling me back.

We have a soldier who was found hanging
in this motel room.

- What happen, he kill himself?
- Well, maybe.

Maybe somebody wants us to think that.
Hey, do you know why a soldier

would swallow his dog tags?

Unfortunately I do.
I saw it first hand in boot camp.

It's a symbol of shame.

Oh, man! Are you crazy?

Suicide is a disgraceful act,
especially for a soldier.

So what happens is they...
They swallow their dog tags.

Listen, how'bout we talk
about this over dinner?

- You're in the country?
- Better yet, I'm in the state.

I'm headed towards Santa Barbara.

When?

I figure I'll float in around 9:00.

Great!

Psych 410
"You Can't Handle This Episode"

It's a big sandstorm.
We're in Dubai,

19 clicks from enemy lines,
and we're trying

to grab the hindquarters,
and finally I say "stop!

"You guys, we're gonna have to carry
this camel the rest of the way."

Carry the camel is...

humpin' it out.

What?

That's...

That's an amazing story.

It sounds a little rehearsed,

as if you've told it
about a zillion times.

I've never told that story before.
This is the first time.

Really?

Maybe a little embellished?

A little exaggerated. Believe me.
I do the same thing.

Actually,
I left most of the crazy stuff out.

I didn't want
to blow anybody's mind.

It was nothing, really.

But honestly, man,
from what my sis tells me,

you're the amazing one.

- You said that?
- I said you were prophetic.

What? You're prophetic.

I was just really interested
in your kind of police work.

Sure, I'm used to combat,
the nitty-gritty, extreme danger.

But you...

You do things on a higher level.

What did Juliet say about me?

Plenty.
I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you.

Great,
now you're gonna tell everybody

about our family road trip to Epcot,
where you tortured me with Noogies?

Does the story end with him
carrying the car the last 19 clicks?

Watch out. You're never too old
to hop on the train to Noogieville!

The claw! Watch out!

This is great!

I am so glad you're here,

and that you get to meet everybody.

Hey, I gotta ask.

Is that a Walther PPK on your ankle?

It is.
Good eye, detective.

May I?

- Here you go.
- Oh, that is sweet.

Are you licensed
to carry in this state?

I'm licensed to carry on the planet.
It's one of 11 weapons on my person.

Anybody want to find
where they're hidden?

All right, back to work, everyone.

Autopsy report confirms
there was a severe neck fracture,

probably not caused by the hanging.

Looks like Shawn's hunch
about foul play might be right.

Let's pull out to the army base,
figure out why our private Starks

ended up dead in a motel room.

You should come with us.

- We could probably use your insight.
- And your 11 weapons.

Sorry, sir, we do not allow
civilians access to this base.

I figured you might say that, soldier.
But I'm hardly a civilian.

I am the head detective
for the Santa Barbara police department.

You don't have
the clearances necessary

I got you.

Gomer, Shawn Spencer,

Paraguayan ambassador.

This is my attache, Ghee Buttersnaps,
aka "the heater".

We are here to deliver
a large ornamental fruit basket filled

with native delicacies
to whoever runs this joint.

Ewan O'Hara.

Is that a DOD TS security clearance?

It is, I can assure you these folks
are not cause any trouble.

They just have
a few questions to ask.

As a former member of this institution
and a decorated soldier,

perhaps you can explain
to these civilians

that while the United States army
appreciates their concerns

about private Starks,
this is a military matter.

Absolutely, general.
But a soldier is dead.

I think these people are just trying
to do their due diligence.

I assure you we will conduct
a thorough investigation

- internally here on our base.
- Here's the thing...

It didn't happen on your base.

So you and I can sit here

and haggle over jurisdiction,
which we both know is murky at best.

Or you can give us access to your base,
let us do our work.

That, or we can start
hauling soldiers down to the station.

The coroner found evidence

that may conflict with the original
theory of self-infliction.

Thank you, young lady.

I'll be happy to pass that report on

to our highly skilled
militarypathologist.

Major general...

I got nothing.

I just like saying that.
Those two words in sequence.

"Major general."

- Try it.
- I don't want to.

- Just say it.
- I don't want to.

General, I just got off the phone
with Starks' parents.

They've requested
to pick up his things.

Thank you, lieutenant Wallach.

Yes, I spoke to the boy's parents
this morning myself.

Hardest call the army has to make.

- What is that?
- Sorry, sir.

It's my girlfriend Abigail.

She's been trying
to reach me all day.

We're in a phase in our relationship
that I simply can't get a handle on.

I would like to hear your thoughts.

I wouldn't presume to know your life.
Probably don't ask, don't tell.

I'm just gonna let it go
to voice mail.

Indeed.

Pack up his things.

We will need to look
through his belongings before.

And we're going to need to retrace
his steps leading to his death.

We'd like to start
with his work assignments.

Very well.

Escort these civilians down
to private Starks' barracks,

- to the motor pool, where he worked.
- Motor pool! That's us.

We'll take the motor pool.
Dude, be all you can be.

We'll need one of those hummers.

The open hummers that we saw.

And my partner will require
a corncob pipe.

Afternoon, soldier.
Ewan O'Hara.

This is Shawn Spencer.

He's a psychic detective
helping the SBPD.

Investigating the suicide
of private David Starks.

We heard. It was a shame.

This is his partner
Ghee Buttersnaps.

- That's not your real name.
- Oh, my gosh,

- Juliet didn't even tell you my name?
- Gus, please, let's focus.

Your pettiness ions are interfering
with my psychic ions,

creating
recepto non grata interfero bupkiss.

- What are you even talking about?
- This stuff is so cool.

How does this thing work?

Would you ask the Egyptians
how they built the pyramids?

Would you ask Yo-Yo Ma
how he makes music

sound like heaven?

Would you ask Iron Mike Sharpe
why he felt the need to shower

for more than 90 minutes
after wrestling for less than ten?

My point is, it's not a science.

For example,

- what is this thing?
- An armored personnel carrier.

Of course it is.

I meant in
at more philosophical level.

What...

is it?

I am sensing that private Starks
was insubordinate and lazy.

A real sluff-off.

The opposite.
He was a model private.

One of the most conscientious soldiers
in the squad, in fact.

Please, soldier, don't interrupt me.
Never do that.

That was the next thing
I was going to say. Model soldier.

Exemplary.

Pristine.

But I am sensing
that he signed out of work last Monday,

and instead went to... dinner.

You must be getting "DNR",

which stands for "Did Not Report".

Any reason?

The only official reason a soldier

can legally sign out for work duty
is due to a sickness or an injury,

or for a meeting with a superior.

Excuse me, guys.

This is Alpha Four, go.

Alpha Four,

what do you think you're doing?

I am on vacation.

But what, exactly, do you think
you're doing on that base?

- How did you...
- Come on, Four.

You start flashing that clearance badge
around and alarms go off.

I'm helping my sister and the SBPD
with an investigation,

and I don't see
how any of that is your business.

Everything you do is my business,

and everything that happens
on that base is the army's business.

Your instructions, Alpha Four,

are to keep it that way.

- I don't follow...
- Congratulations...

Don't touch that!

You just got yourself an assignment.

If there is a bad seed on that base,
I want you to uncover them.

Your orders:

do what it is you do to make sure
it never sees the light of day.

Yes, sir.

Sir...

- The file your team asked for.
- Thank you, soldier.

It's Abigail. Again.

You're acting like it's odd
to be calling you on the phone.

No, the phone is a device
that's been around for dozens of years.

That's not the odd part.

She's just being
awfully clingy lately.

- Like I'm never doing enough.
- I don't know.

I think taking her to the dead guy show
was pretty good.

You're right, I'm an idiot.

Before you even say anything,

I want to apologize for the dog tags
in the esophagus fiasco.

But I will be making it up to you
tonight... 8:00 p.m.

Perfect.

So going through Starks's effects
before they were sent off

didn't raise any flags.

Good afternoon.

Nice of you to join us.
A lot has happened.

Maybe you'd like to try
and catch up.

It is precisely 8:20 in the a.m.

- What could possibly have happened?
- What, did you just run a marathon?

While I may have been sleeping late,
I had very, very productive dreams.

I now know two new things.

One, the howler monkey
that wears the overalls

and plays the glockenspiel
is my inner child

pleading with me to cling
to my innocence.

And two,

the fact that Starks signed out of work
on Monday means something.

I admire your fortitude...

Maybe I've been on the inside so long,
but this thing smells of suicide.

Can you get us back onto the base?

It's not like the annual pass
to Disneyland.

That was
a very special circumstance.

You don't have to do that.
You've done enough already.

Thank you for getting us Starks' file.
You pulled some strings to do that.

I know. I mean, I wish I could have
turned something up for you guys...

- It's a tough break.
- Excuse us... men.

Dude, somebody tampered
with that file.

Captain America
isn't interested in helping.

We need to get back on that base...
unsupervised.

And how?

Just go the base
and beg to get back on again?

"Excuse me, officer, can we get back
on the base, please?"

Come on, solider,
we're gonna sneak on.

Under the radar.

Under the radar?

Under the radar.

Come on, dude, how was I supposed
to know that they had real radar?

Look at the bright side.
We're in a Humvee!

Just what in the hell did you think
you were gonna get away with?

You realize that this kind of idiocy

will not be tolerated on my base!

Is there another type of idiocy
that you would be more comfortable with?

Understood.

I hope this doesn't affect
Gus and I's chances of enlisting.

Son, I'm not sure what makes either
of you think you're army material.

I have two words for you:

army...

psychic.

I'm giving you before I pitch it
to CBS as a television idea.

We apologize, sir.

- And it will never happen again.
- That's more like it.

For the record, I have the utmost
respect for the united states army,

and all branches of the military.

Except, of course, the coast guard.
Did you see The guardian?

I'll be contacting your superiors
about this incident.

There will be consequences.

- Consequences?
- Consequences!

He's gonna come back with a bar of soap
wrapped in a towel!

Would you relax? There's no way
we're getting d'Onofrioed.

You tell him.
It was your psychic revelation.

I'm asking you as a favor.

As a friend.
Rock, paper, scissors.

Two out of three.
Just tell him.

Someone start telling me something,
because I'm in the mood to staple heads.

All right, do you have any idea
where Ewan was last night?

Why?

You and I both know
that even Juliet can't tell us

what Ewan does
for the U.S. government.

And his past is some big secret.

He just breezes in and breezes out
of the army base, and now,

- he's reluctant to get us on?
- In all fairness, he barely knows you.

When we were P.O.Ws,
we saw Ewan outside Felts' office.

- What was he doing there?
- For Pete's sake,

if you have something to say,
spit it out. What is on your mind?

All right, right now,
it's just a major hunch.

But I think Ewan
is deeply involved in all of this.

You think O'Hara's brother's
a murder?

Maybe.

How dare you accuse
my brother of murder.

Jules, I'm not accusing.

At this point
it's just a strong psychic hunch.

Just for the record, you charged both
of my parents with murder on Christmas.

That's very true.

Just ask yourself,

what is he doing here?
Why is he in Santa Barbara?

That's it?

That's your theory,
that he's in town?

Try this theory on for size.

You always argue with your father,
and you rarely even see your mother.

Maybe it's just hard for you
to wrap your head around the fact

that somebody might have a healthy,
loving relationship with their family.

Other than being a war hero,

has my brother done to bring
on your suspicions?

He has an arsenal of weapons
in his pants.

You might just try
to mask your obvious jealousy for Ewan.

Jealousy of Ew... What?

That's funny.

- How funny is that? Laugh a little.
- It's pretty funny.

Because Ewan and I
are basically the same person.

It's ridiculous.

Maybe your time would be
better served

if you were to concentrate on real,
viable suspects in our midst.

Like Felts, for example.

This guy thinks he's king of the world
because he's got stars on his chest.

I've got a badge,
and that guy's going down.

Hello there, detective.

Please tell me i'm not going down
before I've had my morning coffee.

Major general,
thank you for coming down.

To be honest,
we were just expecting a phone call.

Young lady,
we didn't have phones in Nha Trang

when I took down nine men
with my bare hands.

Perhaps we could talk in private?

In here.

Go home.

- Major general, you care to sit down?
- Did you know of the 39 men

who signed
our declaration of independence,

32 of 'em were standing
when they did it.

This country was built
from a standing position.

I'm good.

Thank you for the history lesson.
Now to matters of this century.

This murder isn't going away,
and neither are we.

We want some answers.

I came down here
as a courtesy to you.

But if you're gonna turn this
into an interrogation, detective,

you'd better be prepared to stick bamboo
shoots under my fingernails.

I didn't think so.

I will be back at that base

with warrants!

A stack of 'em!

Did you forget how to get home?
'cause we can have an officer take you.

We both know
how we can get back on that base.

Sorry,

you've accused my brother of murder,
and now you want to use him?

We have a stake in this investigation,
so let's investigate.

That is our jobs, remember?

This brother thing is just a hunch.
But I am a psychic,

which means I need top be near him
in order to read him.

Now, what are you afraid of?

That I can prove I'm right?

That's just how you'll prove
that you're wrong.

How many men would you say
you've killed?

Of the four of us, your brother's
the only one who's killed a man,

unless we're counting accidental deaths,
in which case Gus is in the running.

You don't have to defend yourself.

I'm simply wondering...

how it feels.

I hope you never have to find out.

Snap.

- I asked for that.
- Yes, you did.

Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you
not to touch the weapons.

What is this?

That is an anti-tank weapon.
And you're pointing it at yourself.

You used to work with Starks
in the motorcade, did you not?

Yes, I did.
But you know that.

How do you know that?

There's only a certain jobs
a private can be assigned

to on a base like this.
Deductive reasoning.

Clipboard, please.

- Sir?
- Clipboard, please, sir.

Starks touched this clipboard.

- I don't know what you mean.
- I think you do, soldier.

I think you do.

If you have information,
you better tell us.

One of the privates
may have had a girlfriend.

And he may have snuck off the base
that night to see her.

And he may have had his pal Starks
sub in for him and man his shift.

Starks normally works
the motor pool,

so he knew nothing
about weapon inventory.

- Isn't that risky?
- It's pretty simple.

Machine supplies come in,
trucks pick 'em up. Simple.

Starks saw something that night
that he wasn't supposed to.

The question is...
What was it?

What is the status, Four?

It's a little early for a cocktail,
isn't it?

Not on this coast.

Now tell me
you've wrapped this thing up.

I've tried everything
to slow it down.

I've turned 'em the wrong way.
I've shredded evidence.

This Shawn Spencer character
is very good at what he does.

Starks was onto something,
and Spencer's close.

Are you telling me you can't handle
some local psychic?

I'm gonna follow his lead to the target,
then I'll deal with it. It's perfect.

Okay, Four.
But be in touch.

And in case you weren't sure,
that's an order.

You think you could get Gus and I
back on the base late night?

Not a problem.

This is nice.

Yeah, it is.

Just you and me.

Me and you.

I'm talking about us, man.
I'm talking about this...

Being in a relationship,

spending the time,
spooning it up, it's...

I'm sorry,
do you have somewhere to be?

That's ridiculous.

I would never do that.
Why would I...

I'm sorry.

I had every intention of making this
an amazing date.

I did. I just... I have to work.

Maybe if I had a normal job
with regular hours,

- like you do...
- You're missing the point.

- I'm not totally available to you.
- Listen to me...

There are things that I have to do,

because I have to do them,
and they don't involve our relationship.

I'm going to Uganda!

The city?

It's a country.

I knew that.

Tell me you're not having an affair
with Kamala.

Kamala the wrestler?

His real name is Jim Harris,

and he's not from Uganda,
he's from Mississippi.

God, I love that you know that.

All right.

- When do you leave?
- Two days.

- How long?
- Six months.

Maybe longer.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.

It all just happened really fast.
It's this amazing program, all right.

It's called "one kid one world."

I'm gonna be helping to build
and design this school,

and I'm gonna teach kids
who are just desperate to learn.

- It sounds nice.
- That's why I've been pressuring you

- to get together, so I could tell you.
- Really?

You couldn't have slipped it in anywhere
before right now, this second?

I thought about it
right after the coroner

pulled the dog tags out
of that guy's mouth.

Come on.

Have the conversation that we would
have had if I had told you.

Fine, I would have asked you
not to go.

I would say that
that is completely unfair

because I've been waiting
for this opportunity for six years.

And I'd ask you to come with me.

I would say that's not very fair.
Because Psych is here and Gus is here.

And what am I supposed to do
in Uganda for six months or longer?

Where does that leave us, then?

Now, that's a fair question.

- Okay, it's the last one.
- Got it, sarge.

Thanks for scoring us
these dope army costumes.

They're not costumes.
They're government-issue uniforms.

I wonder where that truck is going.

Any chance it's Uganda?

Shawn, are you okay?

Thanks, buddy.

There's only one way to find out.
We gotta get on that truck.

Ewan, how would you normally handle
a situation like this?

Take 'em out.

A little elaborate.
Somewhat unorthodox.

But possibly genius.

Do we still have the number for that guy
who can get us tickets for Raw?

Kirano.
But that's not what he meant.

Wait a minute,
you mean you would kill them?

Not right away.

But usually
I'm dealing with the enemy.

These guys are on our side.
What do you guys do?

It's called creating a diversion.

How does that work?

What are you doing out
of your barracks after lights out, son?

I was just taking a stroll.

Taking a stroll?

What are you, soldier,
some kind of dandy?

- Get down on the ground.
- I'm sorry?

Hit the deck, maggot!

All right, you start giving me push-ups,
and I mean good ones,

all the way up and all the way down,
or you will start over.

Start!

- You miss your mommy yet?
- I do,

- I guess.
- You guess?

You have a girly
you write to back home?

No, but I gave that
a thought lately.

You think I want to hear a monologue
about your feelings?

- No... no, sir.
- Keep going!

- Do you even want to be here?
- I don't know.

- I'm not too sure.
- Not too sure?

I will ask you again.

- Do you want to be here?
- I do, sir!

- Why is that, private?
- I got nowhere else to go!

I got nowhere else to...

Pathetic!

Sergeant Powell
keeps sending me you guys!

Nice, buddy.

You were totally doing lines
from an officer and a gentleman.

I don't know where it came from.
Lou Gossett was like my pretend dad

after that movie.

I felt the same way
after Enemy Mine.

Over here.

It's Wallach?

He had his own operation
selling weapons.

This must be what Starks saw.

He had a conscience.
He didn't blindly follow, he questioned,

- and he reported it to Wallach.
- But he was the wrong person to tell.

Wallach killed him
in that motel room.

And... don't be offended
by this, but...

I thought it was you
who was somehow behind all this.

I've never met a man who's so big
he couldn't hide behind a plane.

We need to make a plan.

Stay here!

Let's go!

You said to stay here.

- "Stay here." That's what you said!
- You can move now.

Let's go.

Come on!

Wallach sees us from a distance,
breaks into a crate,

pulls out a gonna-36, and he's gone.

We might have had a chance,
but it's all speculation.

I owe you an apology.

I was wrong.

For accusing my brother?

No, I was gonna say you were right.
I looked it up...

Eve Plumb did do 3 episodes
of The Love Boat,

playing 3 different characters.

Turns out she has a lot more range
than I gave her credit for.

Now that I'm thinking of it,

I was also wrong
to accuse your brother.

He saved our lives and,
well, I owe him for that.

- That is very sweet.
- Yes, it is.

What's more, I really mean it.

I'm sure you do.

But it's not that easy this time.

Listen up!

At ease. At this moment,
and against my better judgment,

I'm gonna overlook the blatant disregard
for the rules of the US army,

and say thank you to Shawn Spencer
and his partner...

Ghee Buttersnaps,

for their efforts to uncover
Wallach's criminal misconduct.

We have identified the missing weapons
and are now tracking them.

And to one of our own, Ewan O'Hara,

for his heroic actions
in this albeit unauthorized operation.

We have a man on the run.
We're gonna find him.

So here are the parameters
for "operation manhunt".

Excuse me, Major General, sir.

Are you open to suggestions for
alternate names to "operation manhunt"?

It seems a little on the nose, sir.

First order of business,
we're gonna do a lockdown of the base.

No one gets in, no one gets out.

Then I want an inventory done

of all the arms rooms
on the installation.

Look, man, I don't know what...

the rules are
for saving lives these days,

but I want you to know that
if you ever need anything xeroxed

or mimeographed or alphabetized,

Gus is your man.

Not necessary.
I'm just glad you guys are okay.

Listen, I'm sorry I couldn't be there
to help you net Wallach,

but I'm sure you guys will do it.
Army has a way of weeding out bad seeds.

Are you leaving?

Yeah, I got a flight, 0430.

Wouldn't happen to be to Uganda,
would it?

You know, It's funny...

that Major General Felts
turned out to be the good guy.

If I hadn't seen great Santiniso
many times

I would have seen that sooner.

Duvall.

Yeah, Duvall.

If Starks didn't die,

he would have had
that appointment with Felts,

and Felts would have figured out
this whole weapons thing a lot sooner.

Man...

Ewan, you don't have to do that.
You've already done enough.

And thanks for Starks' file.
I know you had to pull some strings.

I wish we could have turned
something for you.

Tough break.

It just smells like suicide.

You used to work with Starks.

Yes, I did. But you know that.

How do you know that?

- Dude, where's Ewan?
- He left.

My God, I was wrong.

I mean I was right.
I was right, and then wrong.

- Now I'm right again.
- You're not making any sense.

We have to follow Ewan. He's up
to something. I'll explain on the way.

Where are those guys going?

- Let's call Lassiter.
- No time for that. We gotta get down.

I got all the time.
I'd like to live.

All this time I thought you were trying
to help us uncover the truth.

But really you were trying to slow us
down so that you could get to him first.

- We each have our job.
- Yes, we do.

I've had many jobs.
I'm not sure

which one you're referring to.

My guess is that it's not

my brief stint
as a lobbyist for M&Ms,

trying to get them to bring back
the light brown ones.

But let's not get caught up
in one another's achievements.

Suffice to say we both
have very impressive resumes.

Let's just talk...

Man to...

much smaller, less fit man.

All right,
Wallach here broke an army code.

A code based on allegiance,

honor,

honesty.

How'bout this, Ewan...
How'bout I bring the cops in here?

And we arrest this guy,
slap some cuffs on him.

How satisfying will that be to watch?
I'll make sure

Lassie makes 'em tight
so that they chafe and they flake.

You know you sister will get the collar.
That's a bonus.

I'm not taking Wallach anywhere.

- Wait a second. You gonna kill him?
- Yes, Gus.

I believe that's what the cocking
of the gun was meant to mean.

You wouldn't be this lost
if you would come closer.

You know how I feel about piers.
They are covered in pelican urine.

Everything you touched is soaked in it.
I'm good where I am.

You're a good detective.
You've got a good thing going here.

On top of that,
my sister likes you and so do I.

But we all have orders.

And I'm still alive
because I follow mine.

Why don't you and your buddy...

Seriously? The name is Gus!

Turn around, walk out.

Forget you ever saw me.

Go have a drink.
Toast to a job well done.

Leave me to do what I have to do.

We can live with that, can't we?

I can't.

Easy, little sis.

Drop it, Ewan.

We both know you're not
gonna shoot your older brother.

No, but I will.

I could make this very complicated
for you right now.

What is this even about?

You're protecting the army
from some bad publicity?

What happened to the Ewan I knew?

You know you're the reason
I became a cop?

You gave me the confidence
to go for it, and I did.

I became one.

And now I have a job to do
and that is to uphold the law.

And no one is above that.

Wallach is gonna go to jail
for what he did, and so are you.

You are under arrest

for the attempted murder of lieutenant
W. Wallach of the united states army.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used
against you in a court of law.

For the record,
I really hate that I was right.

Me too.

This must be hard for you.

I mean, I have family members
I would love to see go to prison,

but this must be tough.

He broke the law.

That's all there is to it for me.

Excuse me, I'm looking for a prisoner...
Ewan O'Hara?

Sorry, he's not here.

Is he on a different bus?

No, ma'am,
there's no record of a Ewan O'Hara.

Now boarding from 665...

Are you sure
you don't want to come visit?

Maybe. I mean it's...
It's not out of the question.

It's the hole in the ground
as a toilet thing

that's giving me pause.

I won't even tell you
about the whole toiletpaper situation.

I'll be thinking about you, though.

I think we'll both be doing
our share of that.

Tell me one more time
exactly when you get back.

Right, I'll be back for a little bit
on February 24th, so...

24th, got it.
I'm going to circle it on my calendar.

Now boarding flight 665
to LAX with international connections.

Now boarding flight 665
to Los Angeles international airport.

Ticket, please.