Psych (2006–2014): Season 2, Episode 8 - Rob-a-Bye Baby - full transcript

So then this, um, guy

with pliers comes in,
probably with safety goggles,

maybe some sort
of fire retardant cover all.

He starts doing his thing,
twisting and turning.

There's all sorts of fluids
just spraying all over the place.

Then this hydraulic lift
comes into play,

wheeling everything
out of there. There you have it.

- All right? Let's clean up.
- Wait.

That's how babies are born?

- Yes?
- With a hydraulic lift?

- More or less.
- But how are they made?



Uh, Shawn, more important question,
how many hats are in the room?

None. How are they made?

Hats? Nowadays, I hear
most of them are made in China.

- Let's go.
- Forget it.

- Maybe I'll go ask mom.
- D... don't, no! No.

Wait, wait, come back here. Come
back here, come back here. All right.

Tuck in your shirt
before you talk to her.

All right, tell me exactly
what she said.

- Use her words.
- She said, "hello.

This is chief Vick."
it's a good start, Gus.

I love it when she says that.

"I have something big to talk
to you about. It's top secret."

Come down to the station
as soon as you can."

Do you realize what this means?



It means we're taking it
to the next level.

She said "big" and "top secret."
that's two of our favorite '80s movies.

I read about the international
yacht bandit.

I bet you we're going
undercover on a yacht.

Gus, let's not get
ahead of ourselves.

She may want us to catch that guy
who's been stalking lingerie models.

I know what it is. Last night on the
news, I saw something about a blimp.

- "Blimp rides".
- Shotgun.

You can't call shotgun on a blimp.

You can call shotgun anywhere
except a crowded movie theater.

All right, close the blinds, shut the
door, and remain completely silent.

This is big.

Look, I'm trusting you both
to be professional

and to keep this matter
completely confidential.

- You got it.
- If you knew how many secrets

I was keeping from you already,
you'd totally trust me.

- It involves a nanny.
- Nanny serial killer.

- Nanny on the run?
- Nanny arsonist?

Does she fly a blimp, by chance?

No. I need you to hire me
a nanny.

# I know you know #
# that I'm not telling the truth #

# I know you know #
# they just don't have any proof #

# embrace the deception #

# learn how to bend #
# your worst inhibitions #

# tend to psych you out in the end #

Our big case is finding you
a nanny for your baby?

Well, I'd be hiring you
privately, of course.

But I cannot stress
how important this is.

Of course. Our children
are our most precious resources.

Yes.

That. Also, I haven't slept in weeks.

See, my nephew was nannying her. And
then he went back to nursing school.

And ever since he left,
she won't fall asleep,

which means that I don't fall asleep
are you up for this job?!

I...

Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

See, I can run the background
checks on the nannies.

Of course, not to mention, the drug
testing, the psychological briefings.

But I want to hire you both to
psychically read the best candidate.

Look, chief. With all due respect, I think
our services might be better utilized...

Your services are best utilized
by doing exactly what I say.

You are not my first choice,
Mr. Spencer.

And I cannot stress
how important this is.

I... Need... Sleep!

All right, so, uh, while we're
looking for this babysitter...

Nanny.

How about we also hop on board
the yacht bandit case?

- Because I think...
- Oh, no.

No, no, no.
No, no way.

If I'm hiring you privately,
then this is the only case

that you're going to be working on.

I mean, when you're working
on police cases,

it's not like you take
private cases as well.

Or do you?

- No.
- No.

- Of course not.
- We don't do that.

- That would be unprofessional.
- It would break the psychic/client...

- We wouldn't even think of it.
- Code.

Great. You can go ahead
and leave the door open.

Well, Harry, you and deeshaw
start a timeline.

McNab, I want you to help Schwartz
go over the witness statements.

Dobson! I want you on tactical!

- Where the hell is Dobson?
- Look, Gus, a real case.

What do you have?

Something something Lassiter's case.
Dude, this blows with a capital z.

Shawn, this is the only case
we're supposed to be working on.

Besides, it's really important.

Nannies are essential parts
of today's working nuclear families.

They're babysitters who drive.

Might I remind you
that this is a private case

for the chief of police to find
a caretaker for her child?

If we screw this up, we'll be on
her bad side for pretty much ever.

Gus, you're not going
to find a nanny on the internet.

If they're posting there,
they're already too desperate.

It's like online dating.

You mean when you posted a profile
of me without my knowledge?

Right... And all the women
who responded were complete freaks.

That's because you said
I was looking for a woman

who was strong enough to hold me.

I didn't think they would
take it literally.

Look, dude, all the good nannies are
employed. We gotta do some field work.

We gotta find the right nanny
and steal her for chief Vick.

We should go to a playground
in a really good neighborhood.

That's actually a good idea.

Plus this way, we can race
on the monkey bars.

You know, Gus, we may be working
the lowest stakes case

of our short careers,
but there's something nice

about just sitting and enjoying
a sunny day at the park.

Shawn, concentrate.

Look over there.
The one in the over alls.

She seems to be using
reverse psychology

on that ten-year-old, which is
actually a pretty good idea.

- You know what's nota good idea?
- What?

Pineapple and movie theater
popcorn flavored jelly beans.

- That's disGusting.
- Shawn, stop spitting.

You're scaring the children.

Hi. Would you like some candy?

I can't say that I blame her.
These are disGusting.

I mean, these are really horrible.

- Why can't I stop eating them?
- That's it. We're splitting up.

You're freaking out the kids.

- And me.
- Fine.

Thank you for that. I'm serious.

I mean, I thought this was supposed
to be a safe neighborhood.

Just because you're rich
doesn't mean you're safe.

Marissa, get off of her now!

So you know Annie,
she worked for the bermans.

She had to go to the police
station because they thought

she might be a material witness

'cause of when the house
by them got robbed.

So... Dakota!
Let someone else go on the slide!

They spoil that little girl so hard.

So then, an...

Perry! Luke!

I'll be sitting right here.

Remember, stranger danger!

"Stranger danger."
the parents make me say that.

Hi, I'm Shawn.
I'm, uh, I'm a manny around here.

Oh, I'm Ada.
This is Jaynie.

- Are you with an agency?
- No, I don't model.

Strictly a manny.

Um, no, most of the families
in this neighborhood

- get their nannies from our agency.
- Oh, which one is that?

Red balloon.

You should talk to them
about getting reassigned.

Ada's freaking out
because she doesn't feel safe

- working in the heights anymore.
- Why not? Oh, gosh.

Is there a lot of crime around here?
What kind?

- Just some burglaries.
- Just?

All these houses.

- Only three.
- Three that we've heard about.

They all happen in, like,
the middle of the day,

and all of them had security systems
and everything, and it didn't matter.

Yeah, but it's not like it's
your stuff they're stealing.

So what do you care?
I don't like to be around it.

Cody! Wyoming, get your foot
out of that dog!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Which one is yours?

Oh, uh, I'm the nanny
for those two.

Oh, really.

Do they always fight like that?

Pretty much.

- Which one's yours?
- Oh, no kids. Just me.

So what are your thoughts
on discipline?

Do you spank?

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Is that your nanny right there?

No. She is.

So she doesn't always pay attention
to where you are, huh?

It would be pretty easy for you to get
away and she wouldn't even know.

Kids. I just want to eat 'em up.

None of these nannies will talk to me.
Even the kids are avoiding me.

Tell me the truth. Do I smell weird?

Nah, it's just the usual.
Jerk chicken and new car smell.

Look, I was talking
to those two nannies, right?

Oh yeah? You think they may
be right for chief Vick?

Nah. They're terrible.
Yelling at the kids, gossiping.

All they paid attention to
is themselves.

But here's the good news, this
neighborhood is rife with crime.

See what I mean?

Shawn, I think you're forgetting
why we're here.

Did you really just do that?

What?

Hey, guys!

Buzz!

Listen, I got a call about two creepy
dudes hanging out in the playground.

Really.
I haven't seen anything.

But I'll keep my eyes open.

Yeah, we've just been here
hanging out in the bushes.

Oh, boy.

Sorry about this.

I'm so sorry.

- Hey, no hard feelings, right?
- Of course not.

I mean, if you have to have
a Jackie Earle Haley moment,

you'd... You want it to be
from bad news bears.

- Maybe breaking away.
- Not little children.

Listen, I'd be happy to give you guys
a ride to wherever you need to go.

Attention all officers.

We have a call on a 4-5-9
break-in at 3192 roscoe.

There. We need to go there.

- You need to go to a crime scene?
- Yeah, it's crazy.

The chief asked us to look
into any new burglaries

in the neighborhood
while we were here...

- At the park.
- Okay. Fine. Hop in.

No. Why you always get
to sit in the front?

I called shotgun.

- No, you didn't.
- Shotgun.

Chief Vick better not
catch us here, Shawn.

Would you relax? She's not gonna
show up at some random burglary scene.

We spent all afternoon
on that nanny thing.

This is like a coffee break.

The coolest coffee break ever.

- This is so wrong, Shawn.
- That must be why it feels so good.

- We already have a case.
- Gus, we can do both.

It's called multitasking.

Okay, looks like somebody
came home.

Kicked off their shoes.
Made some chamomile tea.

What ever happened to throwing back
a few beers after work?

Whatever happened to cleaning?

This is disGusting.

Whoever broke in, managed to disarm
security, find the safe and open it.

And killed a guy.

So this is where Mr. Teatime got steeped.

That doesn't even make sense.

Got brewed?
Got tea bagged!

That must be what killed him.

- Good eye, Gus.
- Thank you.

So Mr. Teatime
wasn't feeling well.

He comes home early,
surprises the intruder.

The murder didn't have a weapon.
Reaches for the first thing he can find.

Didn't mean to hurt anybody.
He's just a normal thief, right?

Dude... I bet this is connected
to those robberies

the nannies were talking about.

Chief Vick!

Man, we gotta get out of here.

I think walking like this
makes everything more exciting.

I do not think this is a good idea.

She was clear about only wanting us
to find her a nanny.

Are you kidding me?

I'll have a psychic vision about
the whole string of robberies.

- She will love it.
- I haven't finished the report yet.

- Is your other arm in a sling?
- Excuse me?

I don't want excuses, Carlton.
I just want the report.

- I'm not giving excuses.
- Then why are you still talking?

Head detective, my ass.

- Uh, listen, I can finish the report.
- I can do my own job, O'Hara.

- I know you...
- I can do my own job, O'Hara!

Who finished the coffee,
didn't make a fresh pot?

I mean, who does that?

What kind of person acts like that?

Ooh, Shawn, Gus, hi!
Good to see you.

Come on in. Come on in.

- So you found me a nanny.
- Actually, we were working on that when...

I had a vision.

It was a robbery turned to murder.
There's a light...

Oh, do you know who the murder is?

Unless you can name me the murder in
ten seconds, then I'm not interested.

Ten, nine, one.

I hired you to find me a nanny,
and that's it.

Yes, that's it.

Absolutely. But, chief,
I have this feeling.

Mr. Spencer, I thought you understood
that when I hired you, this was to be

your top priority.
Your only priority.

It is. This is it.

In fact, we even narrowed it down
to the final three candidates.

Go find three candidates.

This has to be connected to the
other burglaries in the heights.

Don't even think about it.

No, you go ahead. I'm just
going to say a quick hello.

Hold on a second. I might need
to make that a large.

Can I help you?

You guys want to go in with me
on a meat-lover's cheesy crust?

No time for a pizza party, Spencer.

Nothing helps a big case more than
a belly full of pepperoni.

- We're busy.
- Okay.

Keep it a medium,
but yes to the crazy bread.

It makes sense
that all these burglaries

were connected 'cause
they all have the same M.O.S.

Daytime burglaries...

Hidden valuables found and stolen.
Disabled alarm systems.

Yes. That's what I was
in the middle of saying.

- Well, then say it.
- Uh, hold on a second.

- Uh, jalapeyo poppers, cinnamon wings?
- Walk away.

Thank you very much for your time.

Now if you all can just
wait here for one sec...

Shawn, I'm glad you're here.

'Scuse me.

I'm feeling really good
about these nannies.

Jean has a background in Montessori,
and Sue has some interesting ideas

about establishing nap time
routines that I kind of like.

All right.

No. No good.
None of them.

What? Why?

Slob, psycho, slut.

I spent hours interviewing them,
calling references.

And you just come in here
and dismiss them in two seconds?

Well, take a look, Gus.
The one on the far left is a slob.

She's smelling her own armpit.

Psycho there has been
scribbling in her diary

- from the moment I walked in.
- So? Maybe she's just creative?

It's the same sentence
over and over again.

Now, I don't know what
that sentence is,

but there is no configuration of words
that makes that behavior acceptable.

Fine. That still leaves Fiona.

Why is she a slut?

That was more me
predicting her future.

- Aw, man.
- What?

All right, everybody out.

Sorry, ladies.
The position has been filled.

Don't drive angry.

- Why did you do that?
- Gus, she was getting married.

So? She can still work
for chief Vick.

No, she's consumed
with planning her wedding.

She was studying that bridal
magazine like it was a textbook.

After she's done with that, she'll
be on the fertility fast track.

Then she'll have her own baby.

And chief Vick
will be out another nanny.

And I do not want to have
to do all this work again.

And what work exactly are you doing?

How about progress on our actual case?

Looks like all these robberies
are inside jobs.

The key is finding the
connection between the victims.

But we don't know anything about
the other houses that were robbed.

All I'm saying is...

I'm just trying to say...
Don't make me slap you, Shawn.

Check it out. I got some snapshots
of the evidence.

Well, at least two of the victims
have something in common.

- What?
- Startek Security company.

And you don't find it strange that all
four of these homes had startek security,

yet none of them were secure?

Actually, people get overconfident
with a security system and neglect

taking even the most
basic precautions.

Like turning the system on, for example.

So you're saying all of these homeowners
just forgot to turn on their alarms?

That's one theory.

- That's a pretty flimsy theory.
- Yeah, I don't think that's what happened.

What I'm going to need
from you, spock, is a list.

I just told you, yes,
I am second in command.

But my name is Gary Mills.

I'm at a loss.

You'll have to talk to bones
and get back to me.

Jules. Lassie.

Why are you here?

Well, I was just in the neighborhood
and my ears started tingling.

And then they got pointier.
Oh, and my hand.

My hand started doing this.
All on its own.

- Like in that show.
- Star trek.

And this is startek.

Hilarious. What's your point?

Excuse me for trying to take you
on a wonderful psychic journey, okay?

I think there's a connection
between this place

and the string of robberies
in the heights.

How'd you know
about the robberies?

I, uh, felt a burning
when I sat down.

Forget I asked.

Please excuse my pseudo-colleague's
presence. Now assuming...

That all four of our homeowners...

Didn't just "forget"
to turn on their systems,

I think a startek employee could've gotten
those access codes to break in.

You remind me of one
of my professors.

Did you ever teach
at devry school of technology?

- No.
- Well, I had one of these professors

who often had harebrain
theories like yours.

If we were really gonna rob
any of the houses

that we monitor, we would choose one
in a totally higher income bracket.

Take a look at this mansion, huh?

I would Rob this bad boy
so fast your head would spin.

Really. How?

- Lassiter, I don't...
- O'Hara, please.

What do you want, Shawn?

Gus, there's no way
it can be these security guys.

I mean, they want to be cops, but
they're really just on domestic detail.

Really? Like you're a wannabe detective
following a case we're not even on,

when you should be finding
chief Vick a new nanny.

I trust you to head that up, Gus.

Meanwhile, I'm going to borrow your car, check
out those other houses that were robbed.

No way.

I will not have my echo be a part of
your flagrant disobeying of the chief.

Use your motorcycle.

Dude, I can't do recon with that
on suburban streets.

Help me find the nanny,
and then I'll take you.

Gus, I'm a grown man.

I don't have to depend
on others to drive me around.

- Okay?
- Fine.

Ooh, slow down. Slow down.

What are we looking for again?

My kinkajou. He's got to be
around here somewhere.

Maybe he's more in the middle
of the block.

- Your kinka-what?
- Kinkajou.

It's a 12-inch,
monkey-like mammal.

It's become quite vogue
to keep as a pet.

Dermot mulroney had one
named "Baby Love."

but I named mine
"Red Hot Monkey Love."

All right, Shawn, cut the crap.

I'm only doing this 'cause you
agreed to mow the lawn.

It's time to fess up.
What is really going on here?

All right, fine. There's been a string
of robberies in the heights,

and I need to get a closer look at
one of the houses that got robbed.

Why didn't you just say so?

Because it's more fun
to say "kinkajou."

All right, which one?

That one.

Yeah? Well, that's
a stupid house to Rob.

Does anyone live up
to your standards?

Maybe we can get a hold
of the burglar's number.

You can call. Tell him
how disappointed you are.

Shawn, take a look
at all the houses on this block.

Of all of 'em, tell me why that one would
be your last choice to break into?

- I don't know, dad. I...
- Shawn. Now.

Because all the other houses
are easier targets

than the one that actually got robbed.

Neighbor two houses down
has been gone for several days.

Didn't bother to suspend
their newspaper delivery.

- Good. What else?
- The house on the other side

is completely hidden
by those trees and bushes.

It's the perfect vantage point
for a burglar.

Especially during the day time.

Not to mention our house
has a security system.

And bars on the windows.

This was not a crime
of chance, Shawn.

That house was chosen for a reason.

- There can only be one.
- What?

I thought we were doing
lines from "Highlander".

My bad.

- Let's get out of here.
- Wait. That sensational feeling.

That is the quickening.

Everyone can do connery.
Your lambert sucks.

- At least I have a lambert.
- Hey, Ada, it's Jaynie.

They let me out early.
Want to meet up tonight?

A nanny wouldn't be able to afford
coach sunglasses, am I right?

Well, she should be able to.
Nannies are criminally underpaid.

Right. Because our children
are our most precious resources.

Because children are
maddening hellions.

A great nanny can make all the difference
in the world. Haven't you seen nanny 911?

No, I'm still trying to catch up
on my dog whisperers.

Nannies on there are brilliant.

I wish I had one of 'em
when you were a kid.

Uh, don't beat yourself up, pop.

Sure, most of my good traits
come from mom.

But you, uh...

No, that's really all I got.

Okay, chief.
Let me begin by saying no.

We have not found you a nanny yet.

But I have had a vision
about nannies, ironically.

Rings of nannies!

Uh, rings of...
of around my collar.

Of thieves. Rings of thieves!

Supplementing their paltry incomes
as nannies.

Rogue nannies robbing their bosses'
aykroyds and belushis.

Neighbors! Robbing
their bosses' neighbors!

Chief, if I can just get a little
closer to these robberies...

And... And... And we would still
find you a nanny eventually.

Oh, Mr. Spencer. I'm sorry.

I must've fallen asleep.

That is so creepy.
Your eyes were wide open.

Yeah. I learned to do that
back when I was on stakeouts.

I have never been so
sleep-deprived in my life.

But thank goodness
you found me a nanny.

N... no.

No, we haven't...
We haven't done that yet.

- Then why are you here?
- That's what I was saying.

I've got some very strong
psychic rumblings

about those robberies.

I gave you explicit instructions.
And you're here to tell me

that you've completely disregarded
everything I said?

No, no, no.
Not completely.

Well, look, if you're gonna put it
like that, then sort of.

Well.

Let me put it
just like this.

And listen very closely.

Because I want you
to get it clearly

this time.

You... Are...

Fired.

Yeah.

Ah. From which case?

All of them.

Trying to solve that case is what got us
in trouble in the first place, Shawn!

She said she wanted me
to name the murder.

As long as I could do it
in ten seconds.

And as long as it didn't
distract from the nanny search.

So you find the perfect nanny
before she does.

I'll find the murder for the police.
And voila, she's loving us again.

And exactly how is this plan different
from what we were doing before?

Because now we're renegades, dude.

It's so hardcore!

Working without
the chief's knowledge.

Racing against a ticking clock
for her approval.

It's gonna be
so much more exciting.

- Can't you feel it?
- No, Shawn.

I don't feel it.
I feel depression.

I feel a series
of missed payments on our rent.

That's the only thing that motivates me
to think we need to fix this.

I need to get more information
on those two nannies from the park.

Maybe get into that agency
where they both work.

And how do you plan on doing that?

It's not like you can pretend
you're a nanny.

The agency does do extensive security
checks on who they hire.

But not necessarily on the parents
who hire them.

Come on, buddy. What do you say?

Do a little cameo onmy two dads?

That show was canceled
for a reason, Shawn.

I'm sorry. You're gonna have to find
someone else to co-parent with.

I was gonna let you be Greg Evigan.

I just think that startek
security is a dead end...

Okay. All right. Fine.
What if I go investigate a different...

Yes. I know that you
are lead detective, Lassiter.

Oh, going through a tunnel.

Gotta go.

Please let me eat my frustration
in peace, Shawn.

There's this dark cloud
surrounding you.

It's starving your chi. Yeah.

And down at the station,
I can see a raccoon

with dark circles under his eyes.

No... Her eyes.
Oh, god. It's the chief.

Chief Vick is becoming chief coon.

And she's... She's lashing out
at everyone.

- That's true.
- Especially Lassie.

Who in turn is taking
his frustrations out on you.

Look, Jules,
you gotta take your chi back.

Take it back.

And that means
doing something big.

Something risky. Something that'll
help you blow this case wide open.

Marry me, Juliet.

What are your opinions
on ferberizing the baby?

Oh my god. Never.

That's disGusting.

Do you have any remedies
for teething pains?

Two valiums.

You would give the baby valium?

Oh, no. Of course not.

Those are for me so I can deal
with the crying.

I just give the baby
half a valium.

Look, Jules, you don't
actually have to marry me, okay?

Just... Just pose as my wife when we
go to the red balloon nanny agency.

I need to get a better psychic vibe
on a couple of their nannies.

And you need a nanny why?

Two particular nannies.

I think they're behind
the robberies in the heights.

So you're saying that this string
of high-tech cat burglaries...

One that ended in murder...

Were caused by a couple
of 19-year-old nannies?

Don't be ridiculous.
Only one of them is 19.

The other one's a slightly zaftig,
polish nanny in her thirties.

Shawn, I can't help you do this.

Oh no, no, no.
You wouldn't be helping me.

I would be helping you...

To solve the case the way
you think it needs to be solved.

Jules, to get your chi back.
Investigate these nannies with me.

Otherwise your chi's going
to shrivel up and starve to death.

You need to feed your chi.

Besides, I wasn't
going to say anything,

but I had a vision
of us being married.

I know it's probably
this undercover thing

we're gonna do, but it might have been
a vision from our future.

Mr. And Mrs. Juliet Spencer.

O'Hara?

Fine.

I'll do it.

She said yes, everybody!

She loves me so much!

But only for detective Work.

I don't buy into this
whole husband and kids thing.

Marriage is just a contractual obligation

that the state mandated centuries ago
when wives were considered property.

But if we are going to pretend...

This is what our wedding was like.
It's sunset on a beach in Antigua...

So then I walk down the aisle to an a
cappella version of James Taylor's "only one."

and by this time, the flower girls
have tossed the peony petals into a soft,

- butterfly formation.
- Hi.

I'll take you in to see
the head of the agency now.

Hi, I'm Abby Daniels.

And it says here that you are
Mr. and Mrs. Levon Tostig.

That's correct.

Why don't you tell me a little bit
about your child.

Well, we had little millicent
in a home birth with a doula.

And afterwards, Levon here

buried my placenta in the backyard.

Some of our nannies are very
environmentally conscious.

They're into homeopathic methods.

- Great.
- What kind of background checks

do you run on these nannies?

Well, I'm glad you asked that,
because the safety of your children

is something we pride ourselves on
here at red balloon.

I like that very much.

Well, why don't I show you
a little bit around our offices.

And you can see some of the services
that we offer here.

Great.

So getting any psychic vibrations
on your two suspects yet, Levon?

I think I got thrown off
picturing your placenta.

Now this is Steve Hitchcock.

He's in charge of the baby
bonding cameras we install.

Part of every
nanny placement package.

What are baby bonding cameras?

Well, they're a series of web cams
we set up in your home.

You can log on
any time during the day

and see how your child
and the nanny are doing.

- So you're spying on them.
- Oh, no. Not at all.

The nannies are aware
these cameras are installed.

It's more to keep in touch
with your child.

Not to mention having the nanny know
you may be watching her at any time,

it encourages her to be
extra responsible.

You're the only ones with the
access to the camera feed.

You sign onto the web site using
a unique password only you know.

So you can see, not only do we run

extensive background checks on our nannies,
you can check on them whenever you like.

Ooh, uh, sweetie, why don't you tell them
how we decorated little Millie's room,

then they'll know
how to set up the cameras.

Excuse me.

Well, we decorated with
a raspberry and sage theme.

And then we did this pinstripe wallpaper
that really accented the sea foam green

that we had done in the crown molding.

Perfect timing, Gus.

A nanny wouldn't be able to afford
coach sunglasses, am I right?

Of course, I love what nate berkus did
on Oprah's nursery theme week.

So I took his idea and I did
the long, flowing curtains.

But only on two of the windows,
even though there's four...

Hon, we should probably get going.

Great!

Well, if you have any other questions,
you just let us know.

- Thank you. I will.
- Or e-mail.

E- mail is good too.

O'Hara.

Uh-huh. Where?

Okay, I'll be right there.

That was Lassiter.

Wants me to meet him at some
exotic reptile shop on central.

Said they found some of the
stolen merchandise from the robberies.

Ooh. Can I come? I'd love to see
what my wife does at work all day.

And then before every nap time,

we read good night moon
and the giving tree.

Those are my favorite books.

And then she lies down
for a 45-minute nap,

which I keep track of
in my client sleep chart.

I love charts.

When can you start?

All right, when'd the items come in?

Jeez Louise. Does it look like
I keep records in quicken in here?

Maybe tuesday.

Can you at least describe the person
who sold them to you?

You get used to lookin'
at lizards all day,

people all start to look alike.

- Was it a man or a woman?
- Boy, you ask some toughies.

- I think it was a guy.
- Pasty white guy?

Beatnik haircut.
Stupid grin?

I don't think so.

Was he roly-poly like a puffer fish?

Spencer, what the hell?

- Yeah. Yeah, he was.
- Now I'm seeing red.

Was he red-faced like a kol fish?

Exactly.

And did he spit a lot
like a komodo dragon?

Just like a komodo.

Great! I'll take this description down
to our sketch artist at the aquarium.

All right, tell me exactly
which items this fish man sold.

Your vision kinda sounds
like that red-faced guy

from the red balloon
nanny agency... Steve.

I was thinking the kool-aid guy.

- But yours probably makes more sense.
- Yeah.

I'm going to head
back down to the station,

investigate them a little more.
See if I can get a warrant.

So it's not the nannies that are
responsible for the burglaries.

- It's the agency.
- Yeah.

Gus, I'm so glad you called.
You're about to be a lot gladder.

Chief Vick has officially forgiven us.
I just found her a nanny.

Oh, that's perfect.

I think I just figured out
who the bad guys are.

The best part is,
she can start right away.

Her security check is already done, because
she works for the best agency in town.

Oh, no.

Please don't say the...

Red balloon nanny agency.

This is the part I hate.
Waiting for warrants.

Oh, we're not waiting for warrants.

Can you please tell me
what we're doing here?

Look, Gus, we know the ws of the crime.

We know the who, we know the where.
We're pretty solid on the where of.

We're pretty sure of the where to for.

- We're scratch on the what chamacallit.
- Shawn.

- 'Cause that's self-explanatory.
- Shawn.

We don't have the how.

Why do we need to know the how
if the guy's gonna be arrested?

Dude, I'm the one that has
to do the wrap-up, remember?

You want me to get up there
with eggs benedict all over my face?

The Canadian bacon in my hair?
Hollandaise dripping down?

I needzing. I'm a psychic.
I gotta see everything.

Come on.

Oh, hi, Levon.
What are you doing here?

This is Samuel Coen.

He's my best friend and godfather
to my little millicent.

Now he's, uh, very overprotective and he
insisted on coming by and getting a feel

for the folks that are going to be
caring for his little goddaughter.

Oh, well, guys, I'm so sorry.

But Steve and Abby, they're out doing
home interviews with clients.

You know what, we're okay with waiting.

Dude, she has a headache.

Start whistling something
by philip glass.

Okay, you know what, guys?
You don't have to wait out here.

You know, I bet you'd be more comfy
in Mrs. Daniel's office.

- You sure it's no trouble?
- No, no. Not at all.

You know where it is, right?

Thank you.

- What kind of clues are we looking for?
- Any kind.

- Somebody chews tobacco.
- How about some new clues?

- What are you doing?
- Dude, I think this thing opens up.

Scratches on both sides of the wall.
It's, like, a secret door or something.

Nicely done, Gus.

These are feeds from the baby bonding
cameras that the agency installs.

It's kind of creepy.

Yeah, especially since the only ones
that are supposed to be able

to access these feeds
are the parents themselves.

This is our proof, Shawn.

They watch the footage from the cameras,
get the security codes, see where people

are hiding their valuables,
and case out their houses.

We got it, Shawn.
Let's go.

- Whoa!
- What?

No, that doesn't make any sense.

None of the houses that got robbed
had nannies working in them.

Dude, it wasn't the houses with the nannies.
It was the houses next door.

Juliet's gonna have a hard
time serving the warrant

here at the red balloon,
when the person she's trying

to arrest is sitting
in chief Vick's living room!

Sweet black licorice.
I've got the how.

I've got to get Jules
on the phone right away.

Time is of the essence here!

Jules, it's Shawn.

First of all, how are you?

Oh, that sounds nice.

Secondly, meet me
at chief Vick's house pronto.

I've had a big vision.
Top seven of all time.

Let's go.

Thanks for getting here
so quickly, guys.

- Where's your baby gift?
- A what?

The baby gift.

Lassie, we're about
to enter the chief's home.

You can't just barge in,
guns a blazing. This is delicate.

The suspect could be holding
chief Vick's baby.

Or we could make
chief Vick very, very angry.

- You don't want that.
- Nobody wants that.

Probably should've given you this
sooner, but, uh, happy baby gift.

Uh, thank you.

It's a mini rattle and also
a low calorie breath freshener.

Oh, great. Is there anything
I can do for you guys?

We just wanted to say hi.

Oh, uh, Shawn,
I'm glad that you're here.

I just wanted to apologize
for snapping at you the other day.

Chief, there's no need.
Really.

Oh, well, you know, I was just so mad,
I just wanted to strangle you.

But I admit I was wrong.

I realized I was overreacting
after I tried to run

my husband over after he left
the garage door open.

- But this agency that you and Gus found...
- Yeah, about...

- Mrs. Vick!
- Yeah.

I just finished up
installing the cameras.

Guess who just fell asleep?

- Iris is sleeping?
- Like a lamb.

Please tell me that your other nannies
are as good with children as you are.

Even better.

- You guys did a great job.
- Yeah. About that...

Mr. And Mrs. Tostig.

I didn't realize you knew Mrs. Vick.

Mr. Softy would like
to say a few words.

Oh, Shawn, I really don't think
that this is the time.

I thought his name was Levon.

What's that?

The bear snores really loud, he's pretty
sure the turtle's really an alien,

and all the monkey wants to do
is play pull my finger.

Oh and somebody just put in
some video cameras?

Yeah, I just set up
a bunch of them. So?

Well, they're not
normal video cameras.

They're all high-techy
with army-grade resolution.

What? What's that, Fella?

Look up?

That's just a fan, Silly.

Lassie, what's that?

This is the extella 5400.

They're the baby bonding cameras,
so you can check in.

The extella 5400
retails for over $10,000.

I'm fine.

I'm seeing angles
and pivots and divots.

Well, no divots.

But it sure is fun to say
those back-to-back.

Pivots and divots and pivots and
divots and pivots and divots and...

Who wants to give that a shot?

- Give what a shot?
- Shots. That's it. Exactly.

But I don't see any shots of nannies
playing with babies.

In fact, there's no babies at all.
I'm seeing jewelry boxes and safes

and entrances and exits
and security keypads.

But... But from where?

- From the houses next door.
- What are you talking about?

There's a baby sleeping.

I'm talking about...

Shawn, will you stop!

Well, it's like a mine field!

I'm talking about casing out houses

next door to the ones
your nannies work at.

I'm talking about a string of robberies,
one of which went terribly wrong

when all of a sudden your witness-less
crime got witnessed.

And then it became murder.

That ridiculous.

Is it as ridiculous as having
a secret panel in your office

where you can plan
all your robberies?

You had access to each and every one

of those baby bonding cameras,
and you manipulated them.

Not to check on any nannies,
but to case the houses

next door to capture
security alarm codes

so you could break into
those houses undetected.

I'd say that's pretty ridiculous.

Though not as ridiculous
as Denise Richards

playing a nuclear physicist
named Christmas Jones in a Bond movie.

But still.

Look, I don't know what this
guy's deal is, but we gotta go.

This guy's deal is that he's a psychic.
Who happens to work for the police.

Oh, really?

Yeah, really.

The Santa Barbara police department,
which I'm the chief of.

Anybody ever tell you
you look like a puffer fish?

Sorry.

- I can't believe it all worked out.
- I know.

All I had to do was get
the fruit bowl assortment

from Garrett bell's Jelly Bean factory
and every flavor's delicious.

I'm talking about with chief Vick.

Her nephew's transferring to a
nursing school in Santa Barbara.

In two weeks,
she'll have her old nanny back.

Mm, pomegranate.

I wonder what she's going
to do in the meantime.

Oh, I took care of that.

You mean, after I scoured the city and
couldn't find anyone, you just stumbled

upon a nanny responsible enough
for chief Vick?

That I did.

Give me a little whoop. Whoop.

And you gotta admit...
The man knows how to work a baby.

Shawn!

Don't look back.
Just keep walking.

Shawn! Shawn!

Where are you going?

Come on, you said five minutes!
Don't you dare leave!

I'm smelling something really foul
coming out of this thing!

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