Psych (2006–2014): Season 2, Episode 4 - Zero to Murder in Sixty Seconds - full transcript

Lassiter's embarrassment about his own police car being stolen while parked in front of the precinct gives priority focus to the wave of classy car thefts to sell off the parts. Shawn quickly traces it to a car shop owner, who is swiftly jailed. yet Shawn senses that's not the whole story, even before the car shop owner is murdered in his repair pit. Volunteering Gus's company to be pimped there, Shawn finds out about the real mastermind and his big plans.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
# Risin' up straight to the top #
# Have the guts, got the glory #

# Went the distance, #
# now I'm not gonna stop #

# Just a man and #
# his will to survive #

# It's the Eye of the tiger, #
# it's the thrill of the fight #

# Risin' up to the #
# challenge of a rival #

# And the last known survivor #
# stalks his prey in the night #

# And he's watching #
# us all with the eye... #

#us all with the eye... #

But how did I lose?
My bike's twice as good as his.

Yeah, well you see,
that's the thing, Shawn.

Sure, your bike looks great
with all these ridiculous

reflectors and gadgets from
years' worth of cereal box tops, but

Gus here focused
on what's important: hard work.

I'm sorry son, but he just
out-pedaled you.

- Do you understand?
- I think so.

I got it! I had the wrong song
playing that time.

Best two out of three.

I know... what you're
trying to do, Shawn.

And it's not gonna work.
I'm not buying.

Oh, it's on now.

On three. One... two...

- Let go of my chair, Shawn. The wheels!
- They're stuck together!

- Listen, you two...
- Did you see who won?

- I beat him, didn't I?
- No, no, no.

- Two out of three.
- Ha, that means I beat him, right?

Unlike everyone else around here,
I'm not fooled by the fact that you...

wear grown-up clothes
have mastered the rudimentary

levels of communication and, somehow,
manage to feed yourselves.

I see you for what you are:

So do me a favor and let
the grown-ups do their work.

I got a boo-boo.

Speaking of boo-boos,
you wouldn't happen to have

any extra unsolved cases
lying around, would you?

Spencer, there is just
no easy way to tell you

that I consider you a waste of
this department's time and energy.

I guess there was an easy way.

But actually I've got less patience
for you today than normal.

See, I received an invitation
to give a presentation at 21-LES.

21st Century Law
Enforcement Seminar?


We know that better as
"21 Saint Cent-Les. "

I like to call it
21 Cent Law Info Semin.

Go ahead... make jokes.

But we just did.

You see, kids, I will be presenting
the cutting edge technology.

Modern tools for
the new detective.

We're talking back-scatter
x- ray scanning, DNA sampling,

sonic weaponry, you name it, I am...

That's weird. I could have
sworn that I...

- I don't believe it.
- Don't believe what?

My car, it's gone. It was right
there. It's... It's been stolen.

- Who would dare steal my car?
- Well, here's the good news.

It'll make for an amusing anecdote during
your presentation at 21 Saint Cent-Les.

# I know you know #

# That I'm not telling the truth #

# I know you know #

# They just don't have any proof #

# Where's the deception? #

# Learn how to bend #
# Your worst inhibitions #

# Tend to psych you out in the end #

All right, just keep
your mouth shut.

I don't want people
to think anything's wrong.

Morning, O'Conell. Schwartz. Dobson.

Just rapping with the fellas,
shooting the breeze.

Sweet, now they'll just
think it's 1974.

Wait a minute.
Is... is this a prank?

Did you take my car?
Is this some sort of "punking"?

To think that we would stoop so low as
to tamper with police-issued property,

and defile the institution that is
the Santa Barbara police department,

is an affront to our honor.

I for one, am greatly offended.

And I, for two.

I just don't see
how this could have happened.

Did you?

- Wait! I'm getting something.
- What, Shawn? What is it?

It's a trace on Lassie's car.
It's faint, but clear.

You were recently somewhere where the
security of your car was compromised.

I'm sensing someplace posh.

Surprisingly upscale for someone
on half a civil servant's salary.

As it happens, I... dined at a very
exclusive restaurant last night.

The type of restaurant
one would take a date to?

Is old Lassie back in the game?

It is non of your business with
whom I spend my personal time.

Now you have to dish.
She blonde?

- Brunette?
- Mail order?

You sly dog.

Please, I'm not gonna engage in some
sort of juvenile masculinity contest.

- He went by himself.
- Yeah.

Her name was Polly Smith.
324 Sycamore Lane.

- We kissed. Ask her.
- Polly Smith?

Something happened at that restaurant
that led to your car being stolen.

I'm sensing red coats.

And accents.

- The British?
- No. The valets.

Check the valet departure car.

He may have used the old
"key in the putty" trick

to get an impression.

Of course, that would have been
my first deduction, had I not been...

overcoming this blatant violation.

I'm gonna get right over there.

- No, oh.
- No car, remember?

You guys are so funny.
Oh, guess what.

I just got a new car.

Maybe we had a little
too much fun with him.


I have to pee-pee.

May I help you, gentleman?

The theft of police
property has occurred.

I have reason to believe
the guilty party works here.

Oh, dear.

Well, rest assured you have
our complete cooperation.

I only ask that you keep
your investigation under wraps.

You know, for appearance sake.

Noted. Now, I'm gonna need to
sequester your main dinning room

interview your entire valet staff,
and possibly your busboys.

One moment.

- Yeah, he's gonna be a problem.
- I don't know.

- He seemed pretty cooperative.
- Your work here is done.

I'll get my car back soon enough.

But I'm warning you, if word
of this little incident

gets out of the station,
I will start making things very

difficult for you down there.

You're saying you haven't
even been trying?

All this time?


He's not gonna get anywhere
talking to those valets.

They have a very strict code.

I still think you're
thinking about the British.

May have to roll my sleeves up
for this one, Gus.

Actually, I may have
to take off my entire shirt.

Please don't.

Oh, later.

Hi there. My name is Shawn Spencer.

I'm the head psychic for the
Santa Barbara police department.

And I may need to get
a statement from you.

More specifically,
the word "yes. "

Nice try.

But I reserve the right
to refuse service to anyone.

That's all right.

If my parents were visiting,
I probably wouldn't

wanna waste time meeting handsome
new strangers either.

Regardless of how smart
or interesting they might be.

My parents are visiting.
That was pretty impressive.

You really are psychic.

Sorry, I thought you were
just hitting on me.

Oh, I'm actually much more interested
in going out with your parents.

I love the Miniatures Museum.

What was it you need
to ask me about?

Do you recall any uh...

suspicious behavior from any
of the valets on duty last night?

Now that you mention it, we had
a new guy who started yesterday,

- but didn't show up this morning.
- Bingo.

Gonna need a name
and a phone number.

Of course.

And then...

I'll give you the information
about the valet.

Get this. The valet's number is
actually a number to a pay phone

outside of a warehouse. Yeah.
I don't know.

I don't know if it looks like
the warehouse from Blue City, Gus.

You're the only one
that rembers that movie.

What, are you insane?

Way more people saw
from The Hipthan Blue City...

Look, I'm not gonna talk
Judd Nelson right now.

No, just... just meet me at the
station in an hour. Thank you.

A warehouse?

There's always something happening
on the DL inside a warehouse.

You staked it out, right?
I know you staked it out.

Oh, it got staked. Stook.


- Staked, right?
- Right.

Yeah, yeah... it got staked.

You found out what happened
to Lassiter's car?

A whole bunch of cars go in,
but only boxes full

of car parts come out.

Dude, it's a chop shop.

That's big.

Victims... I see victims everywhere!
It's horrible!

Sawed-off parts strewn about.
Fluids spraying in every direction.

Oh, dear God!

Are we talking about
a serial killer?

I can see the victims' names.
Accord, look out!

Get outta there!

Escalade, don't let
him in the door.

- Oh, Camry, you were too young to go!
- Are we talking about cars?

- Stolencars?
- The signal's too strong.

I'm getting "chop sticks. "

- "Chopped salad?
- What?

- "Chop suey?"
- Good God!

"Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch. "

Does that mean anything to you?
"Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch. "

- Chop shop! It's a chop shop.
- Yes!

And... and I see a warehouse.
And cargo containers.

And a street sign. And a little
mouse named Algernon in a maze.

Flower Street!

Flower Street...
that's down by the tracks.

We better check this out.

You know you just bought that, right?

Looks like a slam dunk, Mr. Spencer.
Wally there is the ringleader.

And all the evidence we need
to take him down is right here.

I mean, stolen parts,
serial numbers, shipment logs...

- You name it.
- No need to thank me, Chief.

Just glad to help.
Don't thank him either.

Well, if I can't thank you
I can't pay you.

- Our pleasure.
- Oh, you're very welcome. You are.

You know, this ring was responsible
for hundreds of car thefts around town.

Wally had operatives
in places...

mechanics, valets,
car wash attendants...

all copying people's keys
and then stealing their cars

from different locations.

Does it say anything in there
about them stealing loose change

or switching the presets
on radios?

'Cause that happens to me
all the time.

Okay, Gus.

Go ahead and put your aluminum
foil hat back on.

I'm not paranoid, Shawn. It happens.

Anyway, I believe this is
a department record

for the fastest bust ever
in a case this size.

Truly your most efficient work.

Oh, stop. That's so unnecessary.

You know, I couldn't help but notice
that a certain vehicle belonging

to a certain head detective
just happens to not be here.

Lassie, we had the boys
from crime scene

move your car up the street right
before you and the Chief arrived.

You're in the clear, tiger.


Although... today
is a street sweeping day.

Did we park on the east side
or the west side of the street?

- North side.
- No, no, no. It wasn't the north side.

Yes, it was. I'd know, Shawn.

I'm good with directions.
You're not.

Gus, you have the bearings
of a wounded bumblebee.

Why would...

We need to get out of here.

Well, you're certainly
a unique guy, Shawn.

A guy who calls
the day he gets the number.

- And brings flowers.
- I stole the flowers. From table one.

They're fake, and they smell vaguely
of creamy pesto, but I'm pretty sure

it's the thought that counts.

And you're good enough to come
and meet me here my last

free night before my parents arrive.

Oh, wrapping up this case
was a lot easier than I thought.

And this is one of the biggest
strawberries I've ever seen.


I've been here all day.

So... what do you say we take our
dessert back to my place?

I say yes.

Was this too easy?

I beg your pardon?

Nothing. I'm sorry. Never mind.

I can't believe how quickly
I nailed this.

- Am I really this good?
- Excuse me?

I mean, is it possible that... no.

No, nothing like this
has ever happened before.

And nothing's going to happen
tonight either.

How dare you think that I'm easy?

What... no. No, no, no.
I'm not talking about you.

This is... this is something
much worse.

This is the first time
I've been wrong about a case.

Gus, I'm telling you,
it was too easy.

Why would this Wally guy
slip up by stealing

a detective's car from in front
of a police station?

- That doesn't make any sense.
- Sure it does.

One of his guys got sloppy.

Gus, I'm pretty sure I saw him
smile as they loaded him

into the squad car.

What, he thinks going
to prison is dope? No, come on.

I think I solved the crime
I was supposed to solve.

Not the crime I should've solved.

Okay, you're not making
any sense.

And I happen to be busy,
so if you don't mind?

What are you doing? What is this?
What, are you going somewhere?

Yes, actually, I am.
I finally have a free weekend.

Which means I get to use
the Spa Utopia package I won

for being top sales rep.

It comes complete with
town car and driver.

Gus, you've been bragging about that
award for over a year... why go now?

Maybe I kept pushing it back because
I was always working a second job.

Like when I had to enter
a Civil War reenactment?

Or when I was protecting
a sorority of pajama-clad coeds.

You're actually complaing about that?

No, I'm not. But let's not forget
about the entire week I gave up

riding shotgun to a cat, which, by
the way, was not a boy cat at all.

That's some serious stress, Shawn.

I have to get a deep-tissue massage
to work out all the knots in my back.

I call the big one "Little Shawn. "

Okay, that's the creepiest thing
anyone's ever said to me.

They have a blind masseuse up
there named Gloria.

I hear she works wonders.
I can't wait.

What is it with you and the blind?

I remember you went crazy for that
blind sculptor that did your bust.

That was Lionel Richie
in the video for Hello.

Great. Now I'm gonna have
that song stuck in my head.

Good. Good-bye, Shawn.

Chief! We gotta reopen
the chop shop case.

I'm pretty sure
we missed something.

First of all, "we" don't decide
to reopen cases. I do.

That's what I meant.

- Morning, Chief.
- Morning.

Uh, Lassiter, Mr. Spencer seems to
think we might have missed something

in the chop shop case.

No... no, that's an open-and-shut
case if ever I've seen one.

Sorry, Mr. Spencer, but if you want
to reopen the case, you're gonna

need to come up with
some concrete evidence.

We don't devote department
resources to personal whims.

Carlton, I finished the PowerPoint
slides for your 21-LES presentation.

This is... official
department business?

Oh, you're right, Helvetica is
a much better font.

I know... see how the M
in "double murder suicide"

just jumps off the page?


Is there anyone left that I can
actually speak to about this case?

Like I said, there's still...
quite a few unanswered questions.

Well, what can I say?
You guys got me fair and square.

That's just it. What kind of chop
shop artist steals a cop's car

and doesn't chop it up?

It's almost like you wanted
to leave a trail.

Leave a trail, don't leave
a trail, wouldn't do any good.

You guys caught me quick. Snap!
Mind of a cheetah.

I was like, "What?"
Cops are like, wham! Miranda.

Yeah, well, there's still
some questions.

For instance, why haven't you
posted bail, Wally?

Oh, it's all good. You know, I'am
just do my time. With good behavior.

And go on with my life.
Till then, I'm like,"My bad!"

The court's like,
"Get in that cell. " Justice.

Okay. Let's try this again.

Prisoner 1906,
visiting time is over.

Gotta go.

Your massage therapist will be
right with you, Mr. Guster.

In the meantime, please relax.
And hydrate.

Thank you.

Excuse me. Excuse me, do you mind?
Shawn, what are you doing here?

Sorry. Shawn,
what are you doing here?

Trust me. The way today's going,
I need to relax too.

I can't get the Chief
to reopen the case.

I already...

I already told you
I'm not helping you either.

- You will when you hear this.
- What?

I visited Wally.

In prison.

- You went to the pen?
- I went to the joint.

You went to the clink?

According to the visitors' log,
the only other person who

dropped by to see Wally
was Jonny G.

Who turns out to be
the Jonny G. of Jonny G.'s

Bling it On Custom Auto Shop.

- So all he's guilty of is a bad pun?
- Hardly.

First Wally gets arrested
for running a chop shop,

then he gets visited by Jonny G.,
who works in custom auto parts.

Adds a whole new angle
to the case, Gus.

Look, is Jonny G. dirty too?
What's the G stand for?

Is Wally working for him?

What other criminal nonsense
are they up to?

Man, we may have just uncovered
the tip of the iceberg here.

- That's all you've got?
- That... and this.

It burns.

Sitting here listening to you right
now, Little Shaw just got bigger.

I beg your pardon.

- No thanks.
- Fine.

What time are you seeing
that blind chick?

Gloria can't see me.

Dude, I know how being blind works.

I mean she's booked, Shawn.

I had to book
with this girl named Kelly.

I hope she's good.

Mr. Guster.

Are you ready for your massage?

- Kelly?
- Call me Kel.

Um... you know what, Kel?

I forgot I have another
appointment I have to go to.

Uh... thanks for your time.

Dude. That dude's shoulders looked
like two little baby heads.

I know. Okay, I'll help.
But I must be back in two hours.

That's when I booked
the isolation chamber.

Sweet. We'll take your town car.

You're not naked under there,
are you?

Naked and unashamed.

Man... I'll be outside.

How are we gonna get this information
out of Jonny G.?

The dude thinks we're customers, Gus.
It's a perfect cover.

I don't get it.
Who wastes money tricking out a car?

It's frivolous and ridiculous.

Not to mention it compromises
the integrity of the vehicle.

Yo, Shawn!

Yo, lookin' good, man.

- Wassup, homie?
- Jonny G., how are ya?

- Good, man.
- This is my friend, Ovaltine Jenkins.

Oh, respect, a'ight?
What's up, O?

- What's happening?
- Peace, man.

Yo, check it out.
Your ride is fresh to death.

Always do the last checks
myself, you know what I mean?

Just to make sure it meets specs.
You know what I mean?

- I do know what you mean.
- You know what I mean?

What ride?

This one.

My car!

- Shawn!
- I told you it was the perfect cover.

That is fresh to death.

This is a company car, Shawn.

- I have to visit clients in this.
- Would you relax?

I can't believe you spent all our money
from the chop shop case on this.

What? You couldn't find
any magic beans?

A "Jack and the Beanstalk" reference?

- You wasted our money.
- I reinvested it in the business, Gus.

Once we figure out what's up
with Jonny G.'s shop

and re-solve the case,
we'll get another check.

And you want to know what
we are going to do with it?

- Party like it's 1999.
- No, we're gonna...

- Party.
- Shawn.

- Karamu?
- No!

- Fiesta?
- We're gonna spend that money

turning my car back
to the way it was.

All right. But I still don't see why
you won't drive it like this.

- Because! It's embarrassing.
- Embarrassing?

Dude, this is sweet.
This is fresh to death.

You won't enjoy it,
I will.

What's up, ladies?

Nice ride. That's hot.

Thank you.

You're hot!

You are so hot!

Get out of my seat.

- You said you didn't want to drive.
- It's my ride, Shawn.

I'm driving.

Just get us to the station.

I gotta convince the Chief to let us
snoop around Jonny G.'s operations.

What now?

I'm gonna need your license
and regis...

I... I didn't know it was you guys.

Sorry, but in this car, you just
happen to fit a profile.

I'm really sorry to bother you guys.

Mauler! Heel! Heel!

Now I'm really, really sorry.

He's just a trainee for K9 unit.

Obviously, he's not gonna make it.

Sorry again, fellas.

And Gus?

Mauler barks at all cars.

Not just blue ones.

Carlton, it's here!

Is this the new nanomaterial vest
we ordered for 21-LES?

Yes, it's gonna kill.

"The KEV-TEK 7000 is made with
nanomaterial polymers

that give it enough strength
to stop a tank mortar shell. "

I can't wait to try it out.

Oh, no, no, no. Last time, you got to be
incapacitated by the sonic gun.

Now it's my turn.

- Let go, O'Hara.
- Oh, come on.

Drop it!

- Just let me try it...
- You know I've had just about enough

of the two of you.

You can both be shot.
Just sign the waivers.


was a cuckoo bird.

Clearly he was cuckoo for something.

- Cocoa Puffs.
- Exactly.

- I always thought it was Cuckoo Puffs.
- No...

Sonny is cuckoo for the puffs,
which are coco.

That's why the milk turns
all brown and chocolatey.

I was never allowed to eat
that stuff when I was a kid.

That's why I don't have any cavities.

- So, are we having cereal?
- Yes.

But I'm getting more.




- Are these serial numbers?
- Yes, but there's more.

I see shiny rims.

Hammered rims.

Spencer, is this about the chop shop?

- 'Cause we told you the case is closed.
- Now, hold on...

this is very specific information.

O'Hara, run the numbers
by the crime lab,

just to make sure we didn't
miss anything in the sweep.

And you better not be wasting
department time, Mr. Spencer.

Because if you are, we'll be
using these new vests on you.

- That's a great idea.
- Thank you.

Because that way, it's a plus for me
whether they work or fail.

It better not take long for Juliet
to run those numbers.

It won't.

I already missed all of yesterday
on this already-solved case.

This is my last day
to enjoy my vacation.

You don't realize how much stress
I've been on these past few...

I'm not playing, Shawn.
I never get to do anything for myself.

I'm getting that massage.

And yes, I'll be naked and
unashamed under my robe

while they rub
Little Shawn down!

Wait! It wasn't like that!

Jules, what do you got
on those serial numbers?

Well, the good news is,
they tracked them to car parts.

The bad news is, the parts were
purchased legitimately for Bling it On.

And the even worse news...

is that Lassiter wants to know
what size vest you wear.

Very funny.

Thanks for making my life
more challenging.

- The car parts at the shop were legit?
- Looks that way.

There must be something else
going on down there that we're missing.

Besides selling stolen car parts.

We gotta get back down there
and look for clues.

I don't know about you,
but I'm still on vacation.

Looks like something's wrong
with your in-dash

DVD navigation and integrated
surround sound system.

That was my speedometer.

Now I can't see how fast I'm going.

Regardless, we've gotta take it back
to Jonny G. to fix.

Hey, dude. Is Jonny G. around?

Uh, don't know. We've been busy.

- What you working on there?
- Getting this fleet ready

to ship to Arizona.

Okay, thanks.

And stealth mode.

- What are we looking for, anyway?
- Anything that points

to criminal activity.

You know... a white cloth sack
with a green dollar sign.

A red barrel labeled "TNT."

An anvil. Anything.

- Check this out.
- What, you already have something?

The point of those examples was to imply
it wouldn't be so obvious.

Look how light it is.

Awesome. Flavor Flav can
wear it around his neck.

Flav wears clocks, not rims, Shawn.

Why don't you put
your phone on vibrate?

Dad, this is not a good...

Okay, relax.

I will be right there.

- We gotta go.
- Go?

We either need to be working on this case,

or I need to be back on my vacation.

He said he needed me there immediately.

I've never heard him sound this urgent.
I hope everything's okay.

Here. Scale.

- This was the urgent emergency?
- Yeah..

Gotta get these on the grill
before it's too late.

I can't believe you had me
rush down here for this, Dad.

I thought something was
actually wrong with you.

- What's wrong with you?
- You remember how to scale,

- don't you, Shawn?
- Yes, I remember how to scale.

You only made me do it
1000 times as a kid.

A kid who didn't believe
in animal cruelty, by the way.

Those animals would've
killed you dead, given the means.

All right, you scrape the scales,

you don't bruise the flesh,
you make an incision around the gill,

- and you fillet...
- Down the spine.

Very good. You do remember.

And Gus, you remember...

where the bathroom is.

You're taking me away from
very important work right now.

I'll have you know I'm on the verge
of uncovering something big, really big.


Did you ever have a case
you couldn't crack?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Of course.
More than a few.

But a good detective learns the most
when he doesn't get the bad guy.

- No, I got the bad guy.
- Oh, well, sometimes he gets off.

But a good detective doesn't
let that get him down.

No, he's still in jail.

Matter of fact, Chief Vick even says
it's my best work.

All right, then what's the problem?

It doesn't feel like
my best work, you know?

It feels too easy.

Did you ever have that problem?

No, Shawn, I don't recall any
champagne problems like things being...

too easy.

I don't know, I guess...

I just imagined my best work
would be more complicated, you know?


Intricate, important, and...

Just more, you know, more.

As always, you go after something
for the flash, for the excitment.

And when you finally get it,
you're never satisfied.

- It always needs something more.
- That is categorically untrue.

Your best case, what does it need?
It needs more excitement.

Your first bike, what did it need?
More reflectors...

Well, Shawn, did you ever stop and think
that maybe it's your expectations

that need to change?

Son, look at me.
Look, Shawn.

Sometimes, a case... just a case.

He's just a trainee for K9 unit.

Wait a second.

Wait a second.
I just figured it out.

Wait, wait, don't...
Shawn, don't do this.

Oh, this is much bigger than we thought.

- And I was right all along.
- Shawn, don't you dare...

don't you dare learn a wrong lesson while
I'm trying to teach you a right lesson!

Look how light it is.

Getting this fleet ready
to ship to Arizona.

Stop it... stop... stop...
stop trying to figure it out.

- Stop jumping!
- I can't help it!

It all makes sense!
Gus, we gotta go!

- I'll explain on the way.
- Shawn, Shawn!

You should be happy
with a job well done,

regardless of the excitement
that it produces.

Is that it?

Yeah, that's it.

Is it a tight knot right under
the shoulder blade?

Yeah, how'd you know?


Jonny G. is smuggling drugs
out of state inside a car parts.

That's why those rims at the office
were so light, dude.

They were hollow!

And that's how he gets the drugs out.

And some of that residue
must've gotten on your car,

which is why that police dog
went crazy barking at the wheels.

That's what Wally's been
covering for all along.

He's just a fall guy.
Jonny G.'s running the real operation.

Drug trafficking.

We need to make it back to that shop
before the evidence leaves for Arizona.

Let's go!

- Damn it, we're too late.
- Somebody's here.

Jonny G.!


His foot is still on the accelerator.

Stop! This isn't funny.

You stop.

I can't!

The nitrous oxide canister's open.

Laughing gas? That stuff is deadly
in high doses.

At least we know
what the cause of death is.

I can't believe Jonny G.
went out like that.

The police suspect foul play.

But so far, they have no leads.

All while I was on lockdown?

Guess I ended up with a
better sentence than Jonny G. did.


We still have a few questions.

What do you know about a shipment
of custom cars on its way to...


We were partners, but...

Jonny G. was involved in a lot
of stuff I didn't know about.

If I asked questions, he'd be like,
"Nunya. " I'd be like, "Okay." Relegate.

So... so... you're saying

you weren't involved with
the custom car shop at all?

I'm saying I was just
a front man for the chop shop.

And now I'm doing my time.

But when I get out,

crime's gonna be like,
"Come out and play, Wally. Come on."

I'm be like, "No."

"Wally doesn't live here anymore."


Time's up.


I'm starting to think
I was wrong about Wally.

When? The first time
or the second time?


I think he's the mastermind behind this
whole drug thing and Jonny G.'s murder.

But Wally was in jail
when Jonny G. died.


He made sure of that.

- This is a little awkward.
- Man, let's get outta here.

Wally made it easy for us to catch him
because he wanted to get thrown in jail.

That way, he'd be locked up
when he murdered Jonny G.

Which would give him the perfect alibi.

With Jonny G. out of the way,

Wally assumes sole control
of the custom car shop.

- And the secret drug operation.
- Hello, motive, my old friend.

Get this.

According to public court records,
Wally posted bail this morning.

Why wait until now?


Because the big drug deal
goes down today.

But we don't know when or where.

Oh, yes, we do.

Yes, we do.

You call Fleet Feat Trucking.

Find out if they're making
any custom car deliveries today.

Find out when and where.
I'll go get Jules and Lassie.

Dude, we got this!

As you will see, the tools in the
arsenal of the modern-day detective

are formidable,

to say the least.

Lights, please.

I pretended to be Jonny G.'s lawyer.

Got the trucking company to tell me
that a fleet from Bling it On

is expected to be dropped off at 2:30.

I wrote the location down.

This says "In the middle of a field. "

- Why did you have to write that down?
- The address is on the back.


We don't...
We don't have a lot of time.

Lights, please.

Scientific advancements

in the mapping of the human genome,

in the manipulation of
the building blocks of matter itself,

have taken law enforcement into
the 21st century and beyond.

Thank you.

Thanks very much.

So, are there any questions?


I thought you were gonna show us
some new law enforcement techniques.

We've seen all these things on CSI.

Well, I can assure you that

this technology represents the
latest available to police departments.

Oh, now you're onto something, Lassie!


Nobody called for a psychic.

- Psychic? Awesome!
- I'm getting a reading here.

It's strange.

- Gus, what is this?
- I think you may be magnetized.

Right in the middle
of my presentation.

Wait, is he police sanctioned?


Yes, he is.

Because we at the Santa Barbara
Police Department believe in using

every tool in our arsenal
to combat crime,

and Mr. Spencer here is often
under my jurisdiction.

Wait... I'm getting a location.

It's an abandoned
railroad track, but why?

Please tell me, spirits of cutting-edge
law enforcement technology.

I'm getting Michael Douglas.

Catherine Zeta-Jones.

The always under-appreciated
Don Cheadle.

- You know that's right.
- Traffic.

Say hello to my little friend!


They're all movies about drugs!

Yes! Drugs!

There must be a giant drug deal
going down there!

- Right now!
- We can send a squad car over

- to check it out.
- Fine.

There's no time!
It's happening in ten minutes.

- We have to go now!
- We can't get there in ten minutes.

I can. Let's roll.

- Can we come?
- Yes, of course you can come.

You wait out front.
And we'll pull around for you.

It's been a pleasure
doing business with you.

Thank you.

Get up against the car.

Turn around! Up against the car!

Look, we were just having
a business transaction.

I was like, "Here are your
automotive parts, good sir,"

and he's like, "Please, take my money. "


Come on.

Oh, Wally.

Selling custom car parts is legal.

Killing Jonny G. to take over
his drug operation...

not legal.

I'm laughing.
Ha ha ha ha.


Well, we try.

Makes perfect sense, though.

Knowing how much
you resented Jonny G.

for not including you in the
real business down at the shop, huh?

Jonny G. was involved in a lot
of stuff I didn't know about.

If I asked questions, he'd be, like,
"Nunya." I'd be like, "Okay." Relegated.

You figured out a way
to take him out

and take over his entire enterprise.

You got yourself arrested because you knew
that in jail, you'd have the perfect alibi

when Jonny G. showed up dead.

Who would dare steal my car?

Brilliantly planned
this murder beforehand,

knowing that Jonny G.
is a creature of habit.

I always do the final checks myself,
just to make sure it meets the specs,

you know what I mean?
You know what I mean?

That he personally inspects

every single car on the day
that it's supposed to be delivered,

and that he is very, very thorough.

So you figured out which canister of
nitrous oxide he'd be using,

and rigged it so it would leak

when the gauge redlined.

Very creative.

But unlike last time,
there's no evidence.

The people's burden.

I'm sorry, Jules, what was that?

Oh, I didn't say anything.

- You didn't say anything?
- No.

Well, who's the chatty Cathy with...

back there in...


Well, who's...

who's talking?


somebody that saw
everything go down.

Wha... who...

who is that?

It's Bessie.

It's Bessie the Mustang.

She's a female Mustang.
That doesn't make any sense.

Technically, that would make her a...

- what?
- That would be a filly.

A filly, everyone.

Bessie is technically a filly, she...

I'm sorry, what?

Put his what in your what?

Check inside Bessie's wheels.

- Check inside her wheels.
- Okay, stop.

You don't have a warrant.
That's illegal seizure.

Bill of Rights.

Very suspicious behavior.

Probable cause.

- Nice, Jules.
- It's drugs.

You are under arrest. But this time,
it's for drug trafficking and murder.

Guess that's three strikes.

- Legislated!
- Oh, nice, Gus.

Oh, tell me about it.

- Hey, dude.
- Hey.

Yeah, we'd like to schedule
a couple of massages with Gloria.

I'm sorry, but Gloria's still booked.

The only slot she has available
is a couples' session.

- No.
- That's fine.

I mean... no way.

Thank you.

What's wrong with you?

Dude, you're the one
who said she's so amazing.

I figured it was worth it.

Me and you in the same room
with just a towel between us?

Not gonna happen.

- She's blind.
- I'm not.

- That's naked and ashamed, Shawn.
- Maybe you're ashamed.

- Naked and ashamed.
- You're ashamed.

I'm not ashamed, Shawn.

- Full of shame.
- I am not!

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