Private Practice (2007–2013): Season 3, Episode 2 - The Way We Were - full transcript

♪ Ohhh ohhh ohhh ♪

(Pete)
Keep doing the exercises

and take three
of the supplements a day.

It really should help
your back.

Yeah, I'm gonna be back
in the office today.

Okay, great. Bye.
(Telephone beeps)

You're going back to work?
Well, we talked about this.

It's been a month. You said
you were ready. But if--
oh, no, no. Right, right.

You're right. You're right.
You should go back to work.

Hey, I put down the new rug.
Oh, good.

Do you like it? 'Cause I can
get something else.
It's fine.



I just didn't know
if you'd like it.
It's fine. It's fine.
It's for covering blood.

It doesn't have to match
the drapes.

You want to hold him?

He's fed, changed
and burped--happy.

It's the perfect time.

Well, you--you've got him.

Violet--
(doorbell rings)

(Gasps)
(Baby crying)

Okay, breathe in and out.
(Panicked breathing)

Shh, shh, shh.
Remember what we said?

This time, you're just gonna
breathe in and out.

You're just gonna
stand there and wait. Shh.
I can't. I can't. I can't.

No--yes, you're just gonna
stand there and wait

until I open the door.



Breathe in and out.
Do not go in--
(Door slams)

(Lowered voice) The closet.

(Coos)

(Rings doorbell)

I told you,
don't ring the bell.

Oh, oh. Did I wake him?

No.

She's in the closet again.

Don't worry. I'm handling it.
Yeah, no, no. I can--
I can see that.

Look, this really isn't
a good time.
Could I at least say hello
to Violet and the baby?

You know, since I might be
his father.

I'm sorry, but this really
isn't a good time.

Well--
(lock clicks)

That was Sheldon.

The rug is stained.

Well, better coffee
than blood, huh?

You know what?

I'm not gonna go back
to work yet.

You're not ready.
You're looking at me
like I have crazy head.

And I don't. I don't have
crazy head. I'm fine.

Go back to work.
You haven't been out
of the house.

You don't answer the door.
I'm--I'm fine.

You never want
to hold the baby.

(Baby cooing)

Well, give me the baby.

Pete, give me the baby.

(Cooing continues)

All right, Pete, you--you--

you are
understandably concerned

because you're not sure
of what's going on,

so I'm gonna explain it
to you.

I am suffering from
panic attacks, sleeplessness,

agoraphobia and fear--all within
the windows of behavior

one expects
from trauma victims.

However i--I'm not
cognitively altered,

I am not utilizing unhealthy
outlets for my feelings,

such as drugs
or inappropriate behaviors.

I am aware of my condition

and feel a normal amount
of concern for my well-being.

I display few signs
of improvement,

but--but I also display
no signs of disintegration.

I have the number
of two therapists,

the housekeeper is coming by,

and the baby can fit
in the closet with me.

More importantly,

I am a Harvard-educated
medical professional

with 14 years
of clinical experience

of trauma and depression.

So believe me
when I am telling you

that I do not have
crazy head.

Now I'm holding the baby.
Go to work. We'll be fine.

Watch out...

(Elevator bell dings)

Morning.

Morning.

Good shoes.

Thanks.

Yours, too.

(Chuckles)

Oh, can you...
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Press 4? Thanks.
How's it going there?

It's great.

It's really great.
I redecorated.

Oh. Good.

How's it going up there?

Fine.
Yeah?

Hey, what ever happened
with that guy?
What guy?

The--the heart guy.
The one you really liked,

but he was married
and his wife was your patient.

What was his name?
Noah.

Yeah, Noah. Noah.
What happened?

You never told me.

Nothing. I, uh,
did the right thing.

Good. That's--that's good.
(Ding)

Okay. Well...

I'll see you later.

(Sighs)

(Mouth full)
Because, Sam, it is time.

(Addison) Time for what?
Cooper thinks we should
hire a new doctor.

(Normal voice) I think
it's time we move on.
I just don't want
to rush into anything.

When we find--
if we find someone,

I want it to be
the right person.
Addison, explain to the man that
married his college sweetheart

that the best way to get over
a breakup is to move fast,

throw yourself
into a relationship.

I mean, drunken,
impulsive rebound hiring.

Naomi is gone, man.
You gotta let it go.

(Sighs)
What is wrong
with you two?

What?
We made a pact.

Addison and I
are ignoring our problems.
We are not going to talk

or think about
our problems anymore.

Nothing even close to thinking
or talking about our problems.

We're gonna be strong.
Strong.

In denial, but strong.
Strong.

Yeah, well, that's, um,
you know... stupid.

(Mouth full) You need
to talk about stuff.
Really?

Mm-hmm.
Okay, well,
how's Violet, Coop?

(Normal voice) Good.
She's good.
Is she?

Uh-huh.
Leave me alone.

I've sent stuff. I've sent
brownies and flowers

and some very thoughtfully
worded e-mails.

I will get to Violet's.
I'm giving her some space.

(Cell phone chirps)
Oh, okay, you know what?
I gotta get to the E.R.

You two don't talk about me
while I'm gone, okay?

It's rude.

(Sighs)

(Siren wailing)

(Indistinct conversations)

Oh, you waited for me.

I like dating
the chief of staff.

I get special service.
What do you got for me?

One of my patients put
a marble in his nose?
Not exactly.

11 year old's dad
threw her across the room,

probably broke her arm.

Mom looked like
she was in a prizefight.

Dad won the first round,
but mom threw the knockout.

Fun times.
Wait a minute.
The larsens? My larsens?

Tammy and her parents?

Page Sam... and Addison.
Michelle's pregnant.

Dad?

I stabbed him.

I stabbed my husband.

We're gonna get you
in a cast later.

You can have
everybody sign it.

You're just
gonna have to be prepared

for a little bit
of itching, okay?

All right.
You want to talk about it?

No. I can't.

All right. Okay.

I know it feels that way,

but, um,
you gotta believe me.

There's a lot of people
that want to help you.

Okay. Well, maybe later.
All right?

You still playing soccer?

Yeah. Starting fullback.

Oh, yeah? Starting fullback.
That's, uh...

Yeah, see, I don't know
anything about soccer.

You could ask me
about basketball.

I'm good with the basketball.
Invented by a doctor,

probably to get
more patients,

'cause, you know,
basketball injuries.

Is my dad gonna be okay?

Dr. Bennett's taking care
of him. He's in good hands.

Okay, so crits are stable.
Fast scan is negative.

He's got some bruising
behind his left ear,

so we'll also need
a head C.T.

Thanks, man.

Sam...
It looks okay?

Uh, you've got a stab wound
to your abdomen.

If you ask me, you're lucky
that's all you got.

What about Tammy
and--and Michelle?

Is the baby okay?

Oh, so you're worried
about them now?

A little bit late for that,
don't you think?

So he says, "she's not dead.
She's just

electroencephalographically
challenged."
(men laugh)

So it looks like everybody
is settling in.

Yes. Thank you,
Dr. Bennett.

It's good to be here.

Okay. Well, if you, uh,
need anything,

just let me know.

My door is always open.

(Chuckles)
Interesting dynamic.

(Laughs)

Even a group of top-notch,
Einstein-type professionals

feel the urge
to get out of the room

when the boss comes in.

Oh, well... they'll warm up

once we all get to know
each other.
Yeah.

So have you had the chance
to see Violet and Luke?

Pete's been telling me
it's a bad time, politely,

as he blocks the door
and refuses to let me pass.

H-Has he said anything
to you?

Um, they're... kinda
not talking to me up there.

But, uh, Addison and I
actually had

a real conversation
this morning,

so hopefully things will
get back to normal soon.

What?

Nothing, nothing.

It's just--well,
another interesting dynamic.

You being my new boss,
I'm hesitant to point out

that it... it might not
be that easy.

(Chuckles)

(Chuckles)

Heartbeat looks normal
for 10 weeks.

No evidence of bleeding
from the trauma.

So the baby's okay?

Looks fine.
(Exhales)

Michelle, does this kind
of thing happen often,

Darren hitting Tammy,

hitting you?

It was an accident.

I want to see my daughter.

Michelle, look, I know
this is hard to talk about,

but you stabbed your husband.

Now if you were
protecting Tammy,

if this was self-defense--
god, you're making us
sound like...

It was not like that.
Darren didn't do anything.
You don't
have to make excuses.

I was cooking...

And Darren and I
started arguing.

Tammy tried to stop us,

and she got in the way,
and Darren pushed her.

It was an accident,
but I got mad

and I overreacted
and I had a knife in my hand.

Please. I need to be with Tammy.
I need to make sure she's okay.
Okay, okay.

(Police radio chatter)

Michelle Larsen. We have
a warrant for your arrest.

What? No, no. No, officer.
Her husband hit her.

It was an accident.

Okay, Michelle. No, look, she
has a daughter who needs her.

She's pregnant.
She has a head contusion.

She needs medical care.
Then admit her upstairs
to the medical jail ward,

but her husband has a knife
wound, and she's under arrest.
Mom?

Do not handcuff her
in front of her daughter.
(Cooper) What is happening?

Tammy, it's okay.
She's traumatized enough.
Cooper, get her out of here.

No! I want to stay
with mom!
No, no, no. Tammy, Tammy--

everything's okay, sweetie.
I love you.
Mom!

I love you, sweetie.
I love you.
Tammy.

You want me to give up
a hospital bed

for a kid
with a broken arm?
She's 10 years old,
her dad hit her,

she just watched her mom
get hauled off by the cops.
All good material
for a country song,

but lousy
on a medical report.

You look like
day-old dishwater, Coop.

Why don't you go grab a shower,
get some rest?

You've done all you can here.
No, she's my patient,

and I should've known
what was going on.

I could've stopped this.
When are you going to Violet's
to get your stuff?

Oh, Charlotte, come on.
Have you talked to her?

This is not about Violet,
okay?

I haven't shaved and my shirt's
a little wrinkled,

but beneath the depressed
hobo look, I am fine.
You're fine? You haven't seen
Violet since she got home.

You live with her
for six months,

now you won't even
pick up a clean shirt?

You won't talk about it.
Like you talk about
you getting fired?

I'm doing my job, Cooper--
the one I have left.

My problems aren't getting
in the way of that.
(Scoffs)
I have a patient.

(Woman speaking indistinctly
over P.A.)

(Woman) Echo is now
a grand old matriarch,

her crossed tusks
make her unmistakable.

(Telephone rings)

(Elephant trumpets)

(Rings and beeps)

Hello.
Violet, you're there.

Yeah. Well, that's how
the telephone works.

You call people.
They answer. You speak.

Right. Uh, look, I was just
calling to remind you

that if Lucas can't sleep,
give him the sheep toy.

And he likes the rain sound,
but not the whale calls.

Uh, well, nobody likes
the whale calls. They're eerie.
You're checking up on me.

Yeah. I was hoping
you'd be out.

Well, Lucas is sleeping now,
so, uh, I better go.

You know what they say--
sleep while the baby sleeps.
(Telephone beeps)

(Cell phone beeps)

(Paper rustling)

The larsens?
My larsens?

Yeah. Well, my larsens now.

(Closes trunk)
Well, when Michelle
came to me,

she and Darren wanted a sibling
so badly for Tammy.
(Car alarm chirps)

When they finally got pregnant,
they seemed so--
so happy, I know.

Yeah.
Hey, listen, thanks for
coming with me today.

Yeah, well, you know,
I wanted to see Violet,

and this gives us
a chance to hang out.
Yeah.

Yeah. Things have been
a little awkward, you know?

Well, no.

It's just, uh...

It's nice to see you...
Outside of the office.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No. Mnh-mnh.

Apparently...
There's a closet situation.

(Clears throat)

Violet.
Hey, it's me.

Uh, Nai and I are outside.

(Jangles and clatters)

Okay.
(Cell phone beeps)

Hello?

Vi?

Could you--could you shut
the front door, please?

And--and lock it.

Both locks.

(Locks click)

It's closed and locked.
Okay.

(Doorknob clicks)

Hey, you guys.

Hi.

It's so good
to see you. Hi.

Oh. Oh, my god,
you brought food. You're gods.

Hi.
Hi.

(Lucas crying)

Oh...

My god.

Hi.

Oh, look at these
tiny hands. Hi.

Oh, baby smell.
I love baby smell.

It's like heroin.

Aww.
Yes. This is making
my uterus hurt.

Oh.
Hello, sweetie.

Oh.
Hi.

Yeah.

(Laughs) He's adorable.

Yeah.

Hi, sweetie.

I get that you think
I'm a monster.

But the thing is, I swear, Sam,
it was an accident.

You get medical care from me.
You don't get sympathy.

I'm not looking for
your sympathy. I feel terrible.

It's not that.
I'm a good man.

Stop talking.

You're a good man?

You like to hit women.
You like to hit children.

That doesn't make you good

and it sure as hell doesn't make
you a man, so stop talking.

Okay, i'm--I'm a good man.

And if you say one more word,
I might have to show you

what this good man does
to people like you.

(Monitor beeping rhythmically)

Dr. Bennett,
you might want to rein in

that charming bedside manner.

Trust me,
I was reining it in.
(Monitor beeping erratically)

(Grunting)
He's seizing.

Darren?

I need suction
and an airway now.
(Groaning)

Your incision
is healing well.

Just keep the area,
you know, clean and dry.
Okay.

Anything else?

No. Yes. Um...

You should probably get
some light exercise.

Just go walk around
the block or something.

You know, just get out.

Wow.

Your--your lips are moving,

but your words
sound just like Pete's.

You were in the closet,
Violet.

Look, i'm...

(Voice breaks) I'm doing
the best I can.

No, I know you are. I do.
(Naomi)
Oh, look at that smile.

That's gas.

Sorry to tell you.

No, it is not gas.
This is a smile.

Yes, it is, 'cause you love
your auntie Nai, don't you?

Oh.

Oh, isn't he beautiful?

When Maya was little, I used
to just watch her breathe.

Isn't this the best?
Sure.

I am hogging the baby.
I'm sorry. Who wants him?

It's Addison's turn.

Oh, go, go, go.
Yes.

But you're coming back
to me.
Hello, Lucas.

(Gasps) He did just smile.

He smiled.

Wow, this place
looks different.

Pete... I'm surprised
to see you here.

Unless you're
my 2:15 appointment,

in which case,

I'm glad you're finally dealing
with your kleptomania.

Well, that's funny.
You're a funny guy.
(Chuckles)

Look, I need to talk to you
about Violet.

Are you sure
this is a good time?

Okay, I've been
a little overprotective.

You mean territorial.
Whatever psychological term
you want to use is fine.

I'm not here to argue
with you.
I told you when you
brought her home

from the hospital to her home,
that was a mistake.

She wasn't ready
to face the trauma.
Going back to that house
is what Violet wanted.

You try
telling her what to do.

I'd like to, but I haven't had
the chance. You're handling it.

I need your help.

I'll stop by this afternoon.

Thank you.
I was eyeing that apple.

The pressure in his brain
is still not coming down.

Continue the mannitol

and hyperventilate him
to a p.C.0.2 of 35.

(Sighs) Hey.
What happened?

Cerebral contusion.
He wouldn't stop seizing.

I had to induce
a barbiturate coma.

Neuro put
a pressure monitor in,

but I can't get
the pressure to come down.

So he may die?

Yeah. Little bit of justice.
I'm just saying.

Sam, if he dies...

Michelle could be charged
with murder.

And what, Tammy has
a father who's dead

and a mother in jail?

All right, well, now you're
just making me feel bad,

so stop it.

Michelle, if you don't
tell the truth now,

you'll go to jail.

I am.
I just don't buy it.

You're still trying to
protect some image

that you have of your family
or of Darren.

It wasn't an accident,

and if he dies,

you will be charged
with manslaughter or worse.

You have to stop
protecting him,

if not for yourself,
then for your daughter.

Think about Tammy.
I am.

(Voice breaks) I am
thinking about my daughter.

Tammy, we have
some hard stuff...

To talk about.

Your dad is in a coma.

From being stabbed?
He hit his head.

And Dr. Bennett's
taking care of him.

We're doing everything
that we can.

Look, I know
this is really hard

and I know you don't want
to talk about it,

and believe me,
I know what that's like.

But your mom's in trouble
with the police,

and I don't want her
to be in more trouble.

And this should not be
your responsibility,

but she says
that it's all her fault,

what happened, and...

Well, I don't believe her.

And... if you told the police
what really happened...

Well...

I'm supposed to say
it was an accident.

But it wasn't?

No.

No.

Tammy, look,
whatever your dad did--

it wasn't him.

(Sighs)

I was cutting a cantaloupe,
and my dad came in.

He started singing
with the radio.

He was being funny,

but I got so mad.

I don't know why.
It just comes over me.

My dad could see
it was happening.

He held me to calm me down,
but I bit him.

And he yelled for my mom,

and they both
tried to stop me.

I had the knife in my hand,
so I stabbed him.

(Sighs)

(Voice breaks)
And now he's gonna die.

I see
you have a new rug.

Pete tells me you're afraid
to leave the house.

I said that you could
come see the baby,

not shrink my brain.
Your body language is telling me
that you're uncomfortable.

My vocal language is
telling you that I'm fine.

Really.
Could you be deflecting
right now?

Not very effectively.
(Lucas coos)

What do you want me
to say, Sheldon?

I want you to talk about
how you're feeling.

Do you want to hold
the baby or not?

Yes.

I know what you're doing,
Violet. It's not gonna work.

I'm not doing anything.

Look at this guy.

(Coos)

Do you mind watching him?

I could really use
a shower.

It's not gonna work,
Violet.

I'm a professional psychiatrist.

You're not gonna confuse me
with a baby.

And I think you have my ears.

(Chuckles)
I'm sorry about that.

(Coos)
(Laughs) Yeah, I am.

No. No, no. She told you?
No, no, she can't take

the blame for this, please.
Can you give us a moment,
please? Thank you.

No, what are they
gonna do to her?
They're gonna try
to get her some help.

Don't you think we've tried?
Michelle, I understand
the urge to lie,

to protect your family,
but we couldn't let you say

that it was your fault
when it wasn't.
But it is.
It is my fault.

I was on drugs
when I was pregnant with her,

for the first couple
of months,

before I knew
I was carrying her.
Michelle--

you weren't there.
You don't know, but I know.

She had a.D.H.D.
Because of what I did,

and then these rages started.

She has them over nothing.

And someone told you
that her behavior

was related
to your drug use?

The school counselor said
that it's adolescence,

but I know what it is.

I've read enough, and she's
been tested and tested and...

And there's nothing else.

It's me.

Michelle...

Look, I know
that you feel guilty

and that you feel hurt

and that you would do anything
to change what happened,

to change how you're feeling
right now.

But sometimes... you just
have to push forward.

Darren is the strong one.
I want to talk to him.

We've been through
all of this together,

and without him,
I can't do it. I can't.

He's in a coma,
and then...

(Sobbing) Tammy's gonna be
taken away.

I'm just losing
everyone I love.

(Katie costello's
"I can't fix us two" playing)

We had a therapeutic
fencing match,

and I lost.

She distracted me
with the baby,

who is quite winning
and has my ears.
They're my ears.

What am I gonna do now?
Can I make an observation?

I don't know. Can you?

I know you're upset,
so I'm just gonna ignore that.

You told Violet
you were going to leave,

and you never did.

You know, you talk,
you send people over.

Violet's smart.

She knows she doesn't
have to walk out that door

because you are always
gonna walk back in.

♪ You will never love
the way you know... ♪

Definitely my ears.

♪ You will never love
the way you show ♪

Hey.

There's a juvie officer here
that wants to take Tammy.

I need you to let me
keep her in the hospital

for another 48 hours.
You did not
just interrupt my dinner

to ask me to hide your patient
from the law?
Do you really think that
putting an 11-year-old girl

in jail
is the right thing to do?
She stabbed her father.

So let's help her. Let's not
throw her to the wolves

and just hope
they decide to raise her.
You're not social services.
You fixed her arm.

You did your job. Look, I feel
bad for the kid, too.
Do you?
Because I really can't tell,

because it's like
nothing bothers you.

It's like you didn't get fired,
like Violet didn't almost die.

It's like i'm--
it's like I'm heartless?

(Cell phone chirps)

♪ The way you know ♪

♪ you will never love
the way you show ♪

♪ yeah, I go back to you ♪

♪ every chance I get ♪

Violet.

Lucas is in his crib.

I'm just trying to sleep.

♪ My bones are shaking ♪

♪ and I can't do this anymore ♪

♪ and I need
to stop missing you ♪

I love you, Violet.

I'm really tired, Pete.

All right. Just listen.

♪ It's hard to say ♪

Before all this...

♪ We've come too far
to say... ♪

We had a chance.

We had a...
We had a real chance.

And then Katie attacked you,

and... I've been doing
everything I can think of

to help you get past this.

But it's not helping.

What I'm doing...

It's not helping.

So... I'm gonna go home.

♪ Every chance I get ♪

What?

You're leaving?
What about Lucas?

He's in his crib,
like you said.

Well, you can't--
you can't just walk out

and leave him alone.

He's not alone.
He has you.

Look, this isn't
just about us.

We have a child.
You were hurt.

And everyone thinks
that maybe you need time,

but Lucas doesn't care.

He needs you now.
But--

and if I'm gonna be
a good father,

I've gotta do
what's best for him.

♪ ...the way you show ♪

I can't fix you.

I can't... make you
walk out the front door.

♪ And I should've said
how mad... ♪

You have to do it yourself.

♪ I really was ♪

And I have to let you.

♪ Oh ♪

Ow! Ow! It's okay--
leave me alone!

Aah!
Tammy, stop it!

Ah! Don't! Leave me alone.
I got her. 5 milligrams
of lorazepam, now.

What happened?
I don't know.
It came out of nowhere.

No!
Mom's here. Mom's here.

It hurts. You're hurting me!
Just breathe. Tammy--

Tammy, listen to me.
Tell me what's going on.
I don't know! I don't know!

Paging Dr. Noah Barnes.

Dr. Noah Barnes.

Addison, can I talk to you
for a second?

Of course.

I saw, um, Tammy in a r--
in a rage last night,

and her heart rate jumped
and her blood pressure spiked.
Uh-huh.

So I'm thinking--
so you're thinking
that it's more, um,

physiological
rather than psychological?
Yeah, but I
went through everything.

Uh, I was here all night,
went through everything.

Head C.T., tox screen--
yeah, they're both negative,

and the psych eval
is inconclusive.
Did you notice
if her pupils were dilated

when she got angry?
Yeah, yeah. It was like--
like she was on something

or like there was some kind
of exaggerated fear response,

but again, the C.T. scan...

Hey, you okay?

Me?

Yeah, you seem sad.

Or you've seemed sad lately,
and I c--

it's none of my business,
but I didn't--
I'm not.

I don't... I am sad.

Okay.
But I can't talk about it.

Okay. It's...

Order an abdominal m.R.I.
And a urine catecholamine.

It's just a hunch.

Okay.

(Clears throat)

(Baby monitor hums)

(Lucas fusses)

(Door opens)

(Door closes)

(Panicked breathing)

Oh. (Exhales)

I almost killed you
with an educational rattle.

Sorry. I didn't knock
in case you were sleeping.

I just came to get
Cooper's clothes.

Yeah, and to check up on me,
make sure I'm not crazy.

I know the drill. What,
you want to hold the baby?

Do I look like someone
who wants to hold a baby?

I'm wearing silk.

Are you breast-feeding?

No. No, I'm not.

You know, a lot of women
don't breast-feed.

I don't need to breast-feed.

L-Like I should feel bad
about it?

I-I am so sick of people
trying to make me feel

like what I feel
isn't what I should feel,

if that makes any sense.

No. No, Charlotte,
I'm not breast-feeding, okay?

What you do with your boobs
is your business.

I only ask because you look
like you need a Martini,

and if you're not
breast-feeding,

you can have a Martini.
You want a Martini?
Yeah. Please.

(Elevator bell dings)

Naomi.

Hey.
Hey.

I was just, uh,
coming to see Addison.

Oh, okay. She's, uh,
she's not here.

Oh, okay. You okay?

Me? Yeah.

Well, I guess it's just been
a tough couple of days.

Oh, the--the larsens?

Yeah.

You want to talk about it?

Uh, no, no. Uh, it's--
it's not your problem.

I'm gonna get back
to the hospital.

(Elevator bell dings)

Hey!
I was looking for you.

Hey, Nai.
I'm just really busy.

Oh. This Larsen thing?

Yeah. I'm waiting on the results
of an abdominal m.R.I.

For Michelle?
I thought she was fine.

No, for Tammy.

Oh, but I thought that--
(Pager beeps)

Is everything okay?

I-I can't tell you everything
all the time, Nai.

I like gin.
Gin is good.

Gin is good.

So...

What's wrong with ya?

I mean, other than the whole
"psycho chopped the baby

out of your belly and ran"
thing.

(Chuckles) Other than that?

Is--is there something
other than that?

You tell me.

I'm just a chick
with a drink. No judgments.

Oh. I get it.

You don't want
to open up to me.

I know. I'm not
the touchy-feely type.

I got fired
for being heartless.

Cooper apparently agrees.

Maybe he's right.

It's the baby.

He have 11 toes
or something?

Oh, no. No, he's--
he's perfect.

He's absolutely perfect.

He's the baby
in the commercial,

he's so perfect.

And I-I look at him,
and I feel...

Nothing.

I can't...

Feel anything...

Ever since the...

I mean, there's this pressure
to be all "mommy,"

and I'm just--I'm not.

I'm not ready or something.

I just--i don't--
I don't want to deal with him.

I just want to... stick him
in the freezer.

Maybe thaw him out later

when I'm ready
to deal with him.

That's a--that's a horrible
thing to say, isn't it?
Yes.

Oh.

But the horrible things
they're...

Things that need to be said.

Can I ask you a question?

Shoot.
Where the hell is Cooper?

He's busy saving a patient,

trying to make up for the fact
that he didn't save you.

What?

Is he...
Blaming himself for--

except for the part
he blames on me.

I called him that night.

I was the reason he didn't
walk in that door and save you.

I guess you owe me.

(Addison) Tammy has
a very rare tumor on her ovary

called an ectopic
pheochromocytoma.

It intermittently releases
an excess of adrenaline,

causing a rise in heart rate,
blood pressure,

all leading to fear, anger
and Tammy's sudden rages.

And, Michelle, nothing
that you did or do not do

during pregnancy caused this.
But we found it,
which means we can fix it.

Yeah, I can remove it
laparoscopically.
Without the need
for a large incision.

Which means that all those moods
that you've been feeling,

they should stop.
(Michelle) All this time,
I've been blaming myself.

I can't believe it.

You're gonna be okay.

But dad isn't.

But you cannot feel guilty for
something you couldn't control.

But I do.

And taking out this tumor,
it won't change that.

It won't change
the way I feel.

I've tried steroids,
fluid restriction.

Nothing's working.

Neuro says he's not
a surgical candidate.

I'm gonna take Tammy
into surgery now.
Okay.

How's she doing?
She'll be fine.

Yeah, physically, but she
will not forgive herself,

and nothing I said
was gonna get her...

You guys think
that when we die,

there's like a bookkeeper,

and he tallies up
everything we did--

all the lives we saved,
all the people we helped,

and if we've done enough good
in the world,

that it makes up for the times
that we just completely fail?
No. I don't think
anyone's keeping score.

I think we do what we can,
we hope for the best,

and that's all
anybody can do, right?

I think, uh, I think that
we--we do what we can do

when we know how to do it,
and it hurts.

It just... it hurts.

♪♪♪

(Woman)
♪ there was a day ♪

♪ that I could sit ♪

Violet's in the kitchen.

♪ With you ♪

♪ now that I'm away ♪

♪ I can't sleep
the night through ♪

♪ remember the time, oh ♪

♪ when your kitchen... ♪

Hello.

Hi. Come here. Hi.

♪ Dancing to the tunes ♪

♪ of our... ♪

(Whispers indistinctly)
Yes.

(Coos)

(Chuckles) Yeah. Hmm.

♪ They can never say ♪

♪ I never cared for you ♪

So I have
this 11-year-old patient,

stabbed her father.

Turns out she has
a pheochromocytoma,

which made her...
Aggressive.

Um, Addison's
gonna remove it,

but this girl
just can't forgive herself.

Maybe she needs more time.

Time? So should I
offer her time?

Well, what do you want,
Cooper,

a magic pill?

Bad things happen.

You can fix them, maybe,

but it doesn't mean
they didn't happen.

So don't go in there
to that girl

and try to sugarcoat it
and pretend it's all better

when it's not.
Well, I should've seen it.

You know,
I could've stopped it.

You are not responsible
for what that girl did

any more than you're responsible
for what happened to me.

♪♪♪

I'm sorry, Violet.

♪ ...hide this away ♪

I'm sorry
I didn't come sooner.

You came when you could.

No, no.

♪♪♪

I'm sorry that I
did not come sooner...

Before, with Katie.

You came when you could.

♪ It's just not true ♪

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Mm.

Shh, shh.

You're here now.

♪♪♪

(Monitor beeping rhythmically)

(Sighs)

So a bad thing happened,

and I can't change that.

And sometimes
the things people say

to try
to make you feel better,

they just come out sounding...
Stupid.

So, um...

You tell me

what you need.

What if he dies?

What if he dies,

and I never get to tell him
I'm sorry?

Nobody beat me,

nobody tried to steal
my baby,

nobody stabbed me, but...

I am wounded, Sam.

Noah?

Oh, my heart is broken.

And I shouldn't even
complain about it because...

(Chuckles) Nothing happened.

I mean, nothing happened
to me,

not like what happened
to the larsens and Violet.

You know, sometimes...
I'm almost jealous of them?

Because everybody
can see their injuries,

so they have a right
to be messed up.

I sent Noah back to his wife.

I did the right thing.

And... (Voice breaks)
My heart is broken.

Yeah.

(Aron Wright's
"song for the waiting" playing)

Nai would know
what to say to you right now.

I can't talk to her, though.

I just can't... talk to her,
'cause it's like--

she's not our Nai anymore.

Exactly.

♪ There's no straight road ♪

♪ tonight to take me home ♪

♪ to lay me in my lover's bed ♪

♪ there's no good way ♪

♪ tonight to make me okay ♪

♪ no voice
to calm my rainy head ♪

♪ it's not the road ♪

♪ it's not the miles
or being alone ♪

♪ that tells my heart ♪

♪ she should be aching ♪

♪ the danger's in ♪

(Voice breaking)
I'm sorry, dad.

I'm so sorry, daddy.

♪ The danger's in ♪

♪ the waiting ♪

(Elevator bell dings)

Hi.

Hi.

♪ Well rehearsed,
and it bores my mind ♪

Nice shoes.

♪ Like a show I've seen... ♪

I hate talking about shoes
with you.

I... I hate that
that's all we talk about.

I miss you.

I... where are you?

Where--where did you go,
Addison?

♪ ...all the ways
I should be giving more ♪

(Ding)

Like I said, nice shoes.

♪ It's not the miles ♪

♪ or being alone ♪

♪ that tells my heart ♪

You came.

No, wait. I-I need you
to listen. Just listen?

Um...

I want to be a good mother.

I want to be a good mother
so badly,

and, um, I'm trying to
figure out how to do that,

how to do that
when I look at this baby

and I feel...

Uh...

Katie stole something
from me.

She changed me, and I don't
know how to change it back.

But I'm trying to be
a good mother, okay?

Okay.

And--and you're right.
You're right.

It's not... it's...

(Voice breaking) It's not
just about you and me anymore.

And being a good mother

means doing what's best
for your child.

And you may not
understand this,

and you may never...
Forgive me for it,

but I...

(Crying) I walked out
that door tonight

to do what's best for Lucas.

This is what's best
for Lucas.

You're what's best for Lucas.

♪ ...a thousand times before ♪

♪ I see my life ♪

♪ in reverse ♪

♪ and it scares me inside ♪

♪ I see all the ways
I should be giving more ♪

(Sniffles)

This is me
being a good mom.

♪ It's not the road ♪

♪ it's not the miles ♪

Violet?

♪ Or being alone ♪

♪ that tells my heart
she should be aching ♪

Violet.
(Lucas fusses)

♪ The danger's in ♪

♪ the danger's in ♪

Shh, shh, shh.

♪ The danger's in ♪

♪ the waiting ♪