Private Practice (2007–2013): Season 2, Episode 13 - Nothing to Fear - full transcript
Kevin keeps pressure on Addison, who can't account for one night, while she was kissing the doctor from the fourth floor. Violet discovers she's pregnant, but the real complication lies in the identity of the father. Cooper is all for Charlotte's proposal, but they don't exactly see eye to eye on the method of carrying it out. Pete and Sam don't see eye to eye, either, over a doctor with cancer and wants them to help him die. Addison has to step in when complications from birth arise concerning a baby who's about to be adopted.
♪ Ohhh ohhh ohhh ♪
Mm.
What?
It was really just work?
Oh. You've gotta
be kidding.
I'm... I'm just saying,
you were out late,
you didn't
answer your phone...
You didn't call.
We've had this conversation
every day for a week.
I had to go back
to the office for work.
I'm sorry.
I should've called.
What?
I do this
for a living, Addison.
Oh.
I read people.
What aren't you telling me?
I am telling you...
Everything.
Take your clothes off.
You look great.
You got a date tonight?
Um, no, not a--
last night?
Not a date. Just, um, uh,
met a colleague.
Ooh, a male colleague,
handsome male colleague?
Well, tell me yours,
I'll tell you mine.
There's a yours?
You have a guy?
I was joking.
Did you or did you not
sleep with Wyatt Lockhart?
We...
Have a mom
in labor waiting.
I have to go scrub in.
Okay, you're doing great, Judy.
Just keep breathing.
Okay?
Okay, okay, okay.
She's fully dilated.
Contractions every two minutes.
Where--where are
Matt and Carrie?
'Cause this is their baby.
They need to be here.
Just keep breathing, okay?
Hey, promise me that they'll
take the baby away
as soon as it's out,
because I don't think
I can look at him and then--
and then let go.
I know. I know. I know.
I really want the Sinclairs
to have him.
Okay, okay.
Get down there. Go, go.
Go deliver. Go, go, go.
Aah!
Okay. Okay.
Get ready
to start pushing, okay?
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
Oh, thank god.
Come on. Come on.
We ran out of the house
without the video camera.
I can't believe
this is finally happening.
Okay, Judy. Here we go.
Ready? Big push.
Okay, I can see the head.
Okay.
Good.
Okay.
Um, yeah, I-I think it's...
What--what--what's wrong?
What's wrong?
Dell, press on her stomach.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, Judy, your baby's shoulder
is stuck on your pubic bone.
He's in distress. I'm gonna
have to insert my hand
and push the baby back in.
You want to put it
back inside of me?
Judy, the baby's oxygen supply
is compromised, okay?
So we're gonna get you
to the hospital
and I'm gonna do a c-section.
Naomi, Naomi--
everything is gonna be fine.
We're gonna
take care of everything.
Okay, you ready?
You're gonna be fine, okay?
Okay.
Here we go.
♪♪
Things feel...
As if they're different
this time.
I feel like we're different.
I feel so... good.
You feel it?
Feeling it, yeah.
♪♪
Let's get married.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm the groom.
You are the--the naughty,
naughty...
Maid of honor--
Cooper.
You're serious?
♪♪
You know
what I was thinking?
We need to heed
our own advice.
Take a mental health day, forget
about our clients for a while
and live for us.
Not that this
isn't living for us.
I mean, this is--
this is great.
I mean, I'm not just
talking about the sex.
Although that is excellent.
Did I mention I tend
to ramble when I'm nervous?
Which I am right now,
a little,
because you're making
odd noises.
Violet?
Everything okay?
I'm fine.
I've never been better.
Okay, Judy.
Here we go.
There we are.
Oh, vicryl,
close her up.
What's wrong?
The baby's
having trouble breathing.
Judy, it's most likely
a diaphragmatic hernia.
It's a birth defect
in the muscle
that causes the chest
to separate from the abdomen.
No, no, no.
There are some choices that you
have to make for surgery.
You have options.
No, I'm not
the mother anymore.
You--you need--you need
to talk to the Sinclairs.
Okay, listen, until
the adoption is finalized,
you're still
the legal guardian.
No, no.
It has to be the Sinclairs.
Don't you want to know
what's wrong with me?
Don't you want to know
what's wrong with me?
Hey, Coop, have you seen--
oh, I'm sorry. I didn't--
I didn't know--
oh, no. It's--it's okay. I
actually wanted to talk to you.
Oh, right. That's my cue.
Uh, we have much to discuss,
you and I. All right.
It's been weird
between us.
It's been two weeks
of weird.
You're dating Sheldon.
You made a choice.
I'm an adult.
Good.
Yeah, I just--
I just don't want it to be
weird... between us.
I mean, not now.
I mean...
Good.
Good.
Giving you any relief?
Mm.
Could you turn
whatever you're doing up?
My, uh...
Gut's on fire.
You got it.
I wish I could do more.
You've done wonders. Do you
know how boring radiology is?
Looking at films all day?
Don't start. I know you.
You were great.
I did it
because it was easy--
a good doctorial profession
for a man
who liked to sleep in
and party.
Well,
maybe you got it right--
living in the moment.
Ah.
My even more handsome doctor.
And who ever thought
that was possible?
You've got
the serious face, Sam.
How much time
do I have, doctor?
The chemo hasn't helped.
There's been no change.
I know the drill.
The cancer attacks my liver,
my liver fails,
painful death--
um, three or four weeks,
give or take.
I'm sorry.
I'll do whatever I can
to help the pain.
I'll come to your house.
We'll do whatever
we need to do to help.
That's good.
That's very good, because i'm
gonna need your help.
I want you to help me die.
But the baby's
supposed to be healthy.
He was born with
a diaphragmatic hernia.
The organs
below the diaphragm
are pushing into
his thoracic cavity,
and he's having
a hard time breathing.
I-I know this is a lot,
but Addison needs to do
the surgery quickly
to help the baby to breathe.
Now there are
two surgical options.
The first
is relatively simple
and will correct the problem
for now,
but as the baby grows,
he'll require more surgery.
And the second is higher risk,
but it will be
a more permanent solution.
I can't believe
this is happening.
What--what does Judy
want to do?
Uh, well, she wants you
to decide.
The adoption isn't even final.
Which is why I'm here.
Since the birth mother is
abdicating her right to decide,
the hospital will honor
your wishes about what to do,
but we need a decision now.
I-I don't know.
Well, what I would recommend is
the more aggressive approach.
But he could die?
Yes.
Um, I can't--i can't do this.
No, no, you can.
Just trust Dr. Montgomery.
I'm sorry. I can't.
I'm sorry.
Hi, Nora.
I made it.
You made it.
You're doing great, mom.
Let's go back.
She's losing it.
It took both of us
to get her out the front door.
Well, agoraphobia's tough.
She's--she's been entrenched
for a long time.
I've heard that for years.
I heard that when she missed
my violin recitals,
my school plays, my graduation.
I'm getting married tomorrow.
I want my mother there.
Please. You have to make sure
she doesn't back out.
Oh. Oh.
I'm--I'm so sorry.
Uh, there's an emergency.
N-Nora, I-I have to go
to the hospital.
But I can be back in--
in less than an hour.
It's okay. I'll go.
N-No. No, no, no. No.
This could be good.
It's an exercise,
'cause you're out in the world,
but you're in here,
safe, secure.
You can practice your breathing,
your visualizations.
I can't.
Mom, please.
You need to do this.
There are laws against
assisted suicide.
There's no one
coming after us, Sam.
There's no family to consider.
There's just Alexander,
and he wants to die.
Who wants to die?
Patient
with pancreatic cancer.
Stage iv-b pancreatic cancer,
and he's a doctor.
Well, if he's a doctor,
he's gonna find a way.
He wants morphine.
Which we should give him.
Ooh, that's kinda going out on
the limb there, Dr. Kevorkian.
Alexander has nothing left
but the chance to control
when and how the end comes.
This is--it's mercy,
not murder.
Letting nature run its course
is different
than helping nature along.
So it doesn't matter how we
try to rationalize it,
there is no moral difference
between writing him
a prescription
and buying him a gun.
I won't do it.
The practice won't allow it.
The Sinclairs--
they're probably
not gonna go through
with the adoption.
W-What? Because he's sick?
Let's not worry about them
right now. He needs surgery.
And without your consent,
the hospital won't allow
Dr. Montgomery to do
what she thinks
is best for him.
She told me before
I had to choose.
I don't think I can choose
and then let go.
I think you've been choosing
what's best for the baby
all along.
He needs you,
one last time.
Paper's signed.
You're good to go.
Judy came through.
Yeah, for now.
I'm still hoping that
the Sinclairs will come through.
They walked in a crisis.
Would you want that
for your kid?
Maybe we should talk
about something else.
Like who you're dating?
The colleague you refuse
to tell me about?
Well, you're one to talk.
What about Wyatt?
Why is everyone so stuck
on what did or didn't happen
with Wyatt?
Well, who else
is stuck on it?
You didn't tell Kevin?
No. There's nothing to tell.
It didn't happen.
I didn't cheat.
I didn't go out on the date.
I just went into his office
and kissed him.
Pardon me?
And then I walked out. So
technically, it wasn't cheating.
Technically, you walked into his
office and you kissed him and--
and stopped and I left,
and I have not seen him since.
Kevin keeps asking where I was,
and I keep telling him
I was working
and I divert him with sex.
But it was nothing.
Well, if it was nothing,
then did you wait a week
to tell me?
Baby's sats are falling.
Okay, take him off the vent
and bag him.
I gotta go in now.
Nora, I'm so sorry.
I was just...
Nora?
Have you seen your mother?
She's not in your office?
Maybe she's
in the bathroom.
Nora...
Are you in there?
Yes.
Do you want
to come out?
No.
Sorry.
It's open.
Peter.
Lovely to see you.
I'm treating myself
to chocolate pudding--
my favorite.
I wanted to tell you
in person.
We can't prescribe drugs
to help you kill yourself.
I understand.
I wasn't counting on it.
You're still handling
the pain, and you have time.
Not much, but time.
Get closure,
say your good-byes,
enjoy your last days.
Peter, I'm the last
of my friends left alive.
I have no lover,
no children, no one.
In the coming days,
I'll either be
in extraordinary pain
or I'll be so high on drugs
that I might as well be dead.
I don't believe
those are last days
I'd like to enjoy.
Well...
You're enjoying sugar.
Oh, this isn't sugar.
It's a mixture.
16 alprazolam tablets
from my bathroom,
12 dusty codeine tablets
from the hall bathroom,
uh, a couple
of muscle relaxants,
some sleeping pills
and a tiny bit of l.S.D.
Leftover from a fabulous party
in 1972.
Alexander--
No, don't bother. It's okay.
I'm already on my second bowl.
I told you...
I'm gonna die.
The baby's out of surgery.
Okay? It went well.
Addison was amazing.
So I thought
you'd like to know.
Dell... I can't
stop thinking about him.
All I want to do
is not think about the baby,
and I can't stop.
Is it scary in there,
in the nicu?
There's someone
talking to him, right?
It's not--
it's not a scary place?
I just--i have these terrible
images of him all alone,
and I can't stand it.
I can't.
Do you want to see him?
Oh, god.
You having pain?
It's okay.
Mmm.
Except for drinking alone.
Ah, I know
you're uncomfortable.
You don't have to stay.
I do.
If I walk out the door,
all I'll do is think about you,
here, dying alone.
I lived alone.
You reap what you sow.
Sow carefully, my friend.
You don't
want to end up tragic,
like me.
♪♪
It's small...
Contained...
Secure.
But... you're--
you're alone in there, Nora.
I'm here with you,
but I'd be more here
if you came out.
I can't.
♪♪
What are you afraid of?
♪♪
Everything.
I feel it in the--
the pit of my stomach.
It consumes me.
People look at me--
all those people--
and I feel scared--
you're--you're letting it
get big. Let's break it down.
I can't.
Don't you see that?
I-i-i--I'm letting
my daughter down,
I'm letting everyone down,
and I-I feel so scared.
I mean,
you've never felt this.
How can you know?
♪♪
I'm gonna
break all the rules
and I'm gonna tell you
something about me.
♪♪
I am more afraid
than I've ever been
in my life.
I'm...
Pregnant.
And that is...
Paralyzingly,
terrifyingly scary for me.
♪♪
But I... got up this morning
and I came to the office
because people needed me.
And that's good,
to be needed,
to--to help you.
And I'm using that
to fight back my fear.
♪♪
Motherhood is great.
That's nothing
to be afraid of.
Oh...
My daughter is the best part
of my life.
Then shouldn't you
be at her wedding?
♪♪
♪♪
Well done.
♪♪
I freaked out.
I couldn't think.
I didn't know what to do.
We made a mistake,
but we're here now.
We want to adopt him.
We've always wanted
to adopt him.
No. No.
Judy, we screwed up.
We know what you must think.
That you want him now,
when he's fixed?
It's not like that, Judy.
You made me
want to give him to you.
I thought you were the answer,
and then when I needed you,
when--when he needed you...
Uh, Judy...
I'm keeping my baby.
I'm keeping my son.
Can you tell me
if Dr. Wyatt Lockhart
is working tonight?
You are still here.
Oh.
Where else would I be
when I say that I'm working?
You know what people
with a guilty conscience do
when faced
with having to lie?
They ask a question
back at you.
Look... I'm not.
I'm kid--
I'm kidding, Addison.
No, you're not. What do you
want to hear, Kevin?
What do you want me to say
that's gonna
make you feel better?
I have to go
check on the baby.
Alexander? Pete?
Oh, uh...
You never came back,
and you, uh, you didn't
answer your phone.
No, I didn't.
Pete's just
keeping me company.
He's charon, guiding me
down the river styx.
And he didn't give me
the prescription.
I used alternative methods.
Wait, so...
Are you saying--
he made a choice.
I'm calling 9-1-1.
He doesn't want
the hospital, Sam.
This is a crime.
This is a man's life.
This is death.
He's doing this his way.
Sam, do you really want
to put him through hell,
pump his stomach,
only to put him through hell
in a few days or a week?
I'm not gonna sit here
and let you--
Here, here.
This doesn't... it doesn't
have to be this way.
You can go, Sam.
Just don't call anyone.
Don't take it upon yourself
to try to fix something
that can't be fixed.
You all right? Okay.
Lie down.
Let's do it, Charlotte.
Ah! It's gonna be--
oh, it's gonna be great--
the cuyahoga county freedmans
meet the kings from monroeville.
And we can do it, like,
halfway in between.
How do you feel about
n-n-Nashville?
I want to marry you...
Tomorrow... in Vegas.
Tomorrow?
Oh, my mother, she's--
families complicate things.
Family is messy.
Let's do this.
Marry me, Cooper Freedman.
Ohh!
What--what's wrong?
What do you need?
What can I get you?
What can I get you?
Oh, no.
It's just the pain.
It comes and goes
in waves.
Oh. Oh, now--
now it's going.
I hate seeing you
like this.
It's not my favorite thing,
either.
It's not like I want to die.
If I could live...
Like I lived when I lived...
And I lived,
let me tell you.
I thought once
I might fall in love.
I had lots of sex.
I guess I was just far too
good-looking for my own good.
You and Naomi split.
You got a girlfriend now?
Uh, kinda.
You like her?
A lot.
How's the sex?
I'm a dying man.
Indulge me.
Uh, we actually--
we haven't reached that level
yet.
Taking it slow.
I suppose that's
the way you find love.
Just don't end up
like me, Sam.
It's not that good
to die alone.
Oh!
Oh!
All right.
Oh.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Oh.
Oh.
We brought some things
for the baby.
She's not
changing her mind.
Dell.
No, it's--it's all right.
He has every right to be angry.
They weren't
to change Judy's mind.
They were things we bought
that we wanted him to have.
He should still have them.
Well, we'll pass 'em on.
For what it's worth,
we know how badly
we screwed up.
After the miscarriages
and the adoptions
that fell apart,
we felt like
we lost those babies.
The thought of this baby...
We were
afraid of not having him.
And now we don't have him.
We've lost another child...
And it's our own fault.
Tina.
She won't
get out of the car.
I can't get married
without her there.
I won't. Please.
Don't worry.
She's gonna be there.
Just go.
So you got here.
That's a huge step.
It's not enough.
I'm a failure.
I used to think
I was a good mother.
Now she'd be better off
without me.
Judy.
Did, uh...
Did Dell tell you
that the Sinclairs came by
with some things
for the baby?
Yeah, but they bailed,
so there's no more--
Dell, can I talk to you
for a minute, please?
Mm-hmm.
Excuse us.
You're pushing Judy to do
what you think is right.
It is right.
You need to listen.
If you'd listened,
you would've heard
how scared the Sinclairs were.
No, I heard.
No, Dell, you walked out.
Can't you see she's terrified?
Listen to her, Dell.
Isn't that what she's been
telling you all along?
You don't think
I should keep him?
Uh, that's not mine to say.
If you know
that this is right,
keeping the baby,
then it is.
It's right, period.
You just need to make sure
that you're doing it
for the right reasons, Judy.
Not because you think
you have to
or because you think
that others think you should,
because you want to.
When my husband
walked out...
I couldn't believe it.
I kept thinking that he was
going to come home.
I wouldn't leave the house
in case he came back.
I had to be there.
So you got stuck,
because in some ways,
you couldn't let go
of that idea,
that he'd walk through
that door.
I'd kill him if he did.
He did this to me.
No, he didn't.
You're doing this
to yourself--
punishing yourself
or depriving yourself.
He went out
and got a life.
And your daughter's doing
the same thing today.
And I know
how hard it must be for you
that she's walking out, too.
But sitting in this car
doesn't change the fact
that she is getting married.
So you want to become
a part of it
or stay alone?
So... maybe your life
didn't turn out
the way
you thought it would.
You can embrace this.
Create the next step,
starting today.
Why are you afraid
of being pregnant?
I am...
Afraid that I'll fail.
I'm afraid...
That I'm not good enough.
I'm just afraid.
But I'm not gonna let that
paralyze me.
Help me.
Help me do this.
How do I do this?
You were gone for a while.
Pete...
It'll take away
the pain.
You stole morphine so you could
euthanize a patient?
I'm a doctor, Sam.
I'm supposed to help people
manage pain,
to beat illness,
to stay healthy.
And I'm not doing
any of that.
I need to help him.
We need to help him.
Pete and I are going to sit,
and, uh, we're gonna talk.
And it's possible
that we won't pay attention
to what you're doing.
I-Is it enough?
It's enough.
Better than a petite sirah,
my dears.
L'Chaim.
One step at a time.
Deep breaths.
People are staring.
They're staring at me.
They're wondering who's walking
the mother of the bride
down the aisle.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Okay.
Here we go.
I did it.
Yes, you did.
No. I mean her.
If I had missed this...
You're going to be
a very good mother.
♪♪
I love you, honey.
I love you.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
You're in the closet.
I'm seeing if it's
any less scary in here.
♪♪
♪♪
I like it.
Me, too.
♪♪
I'm getting married.
Mm. Yeah.
Tonight.
I know,
you think it's impulsive.
I think
it's impulsive, too,
but you know how--
you know how I feel
about her.
Just ignore me.
It'll pass.
Me getting married
is funny?
Yeah. I mean, no, no.
I mean, yeah, it is.
But no, that's--
it's just that i'm...
I'm pregnant.
You're pregnant?
And I don't know
who the father is.
We're--we are two of
the most emotionally stunted
people I've ever known.
We've never made any progress
in our personal lives.
We don't do personal growth.
And now here you are
getting married,
and I'm pregnant,
and we're just growing
all over the place.
Okay, okay. Shh, shh, shh.
Okay, breathe.
Just breathe.
Breathe, breathe.
Let it out.
Okay. There you go.
Okay.
♪♪
I love her, Violet.
She's hurting
and she doesn't want to hurt,
and this will make it
all go away.
A baby.
What do you want to do?
I don't know.
Could we stay in the closet
a little bit longer?
Okay.
♪♪
♪♪
How's he doing?
His respiration is slowing.
It shouldn't be long.
We're doing
the right thing, Sam.
No, no, not that.
It's, uh... what if things
don't work out with Sonya?
You gettin' serious
about Sonya?
Well, any woman.
I mean, look at him.
He's all alone.
He's me.
He's me in, like,
40 or 50 years.
He's more me than you.
At least you have
an ex-wife, a child.
I have... nothing.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter, something's wrong.
My--my body feels...
Heavy--heavy.
Uh, I don't think--
s-something's wrong.
It's not--
I know it's not right.
Nothing's wrong.
You're dying.
This is
what it feels like
to be dying...
I don't like it.
It's, uh...
Oh, I don't like it.
Make it stop.
Please make it stop.
I have some narcan in my bag.
Make it stop.
It reverses the effects of
morphine. It's not too late.
Make it stop--stop.
Make it stop.
Alexander, look at me.
Look at me.
Do you want to do this?
Yes.
But i'm...
You're scared.
So scared.
I know...
There's no one...
All the people...
All are on the other side.
They're all dead.
Even when I was taking care
of my patients
and watching them die,
I never--i never knew
how it was to die--
to--to die alone.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
The world is gonna spin
without me.
No one will--
will remember I was here.
It's like...
I was never here.
♪♪
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
It's okay.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
He's gone.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
He's gone.
You were here.
You were here.
Pete.
He's gone.
♪♪
♪♪
He was here.
He was.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Just, um, just make sure
he studies.
Schoolwork probably won't be
his first priority.
He's got my nose,
and, um...
My dad and my brother
have the same nose,
and none of us
were very good studiers,
so you're gonna
have to watch him.
Okay?
Okay.
♪♪
She's brave.
It's hard to do
the right thing.
♪♪
Hi.
♪♪
I let it go.
I am not
going to ask anymore.
I'm... I'm sorry
I kept asking.
I kissed another man.
Last Friday. I walked into
his office and--
I knew it.
I wanted this to work,
but... it's not working.
Because you kissed
this other man.
No, because the kiss, the one
hour you keep asking me about,
is the one hour
this past month
that I haven't had
a knot in my stomach.
♪♪
It's a nice place,
Addison.
♪♪
I hope you find someone
who fits in.
♪♪
♪♪
Thong or floss?
♪♪
You don't want
to marry me.
I want to marry you...
Under a chuppah
with you in a big white dress
in front of everyone I know.
I can't do that.
Why not?
Why not?
Why don't you want
any family at our wedding?
Why Vegas? Why right now?
Because I can't go down
an aisle without my father.
Satisfied?
Because big daddy is dead,
and I won't go down
an aisle without him.
♪♪
So you want to marry me
or not?
You're grieving.
You need time.
I don't need time.
Your wedding day should be
the happiest day of your life--
our life.
And I want you beaming
when you come down that aisle.
That's how our marriage
should begin.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Oh, my god.
Hi, sis.
How do you like
my new office?
Mm.
What?
It was really just work?
Oh. You've gotta
be kidding.
I'm... I'm just saying,
you were out late,
you didn't
answer your phone...
You didn't call.
We've had this conversation
every day for a week.
I had to go back
to the office for work.
I'm sorry.
I should've called.
What?
I do this
for a living, Addison.
Oh.
I read people.
What aren't you telling me?
I am telling you...
Everything.
Take your clothes off.
You look great.
You got a date tonight?
Um, no, not a--
last night?
Not a date. Just, um, uh,
met a colleague.
Ooh, a male colleague,
handsome male colleague?
Well, tell me yours,
I'll tell you mine.
There's a yours?
You have a guy?
I was joking.
Did you or did you not
sleep with Wyatt Lockhart?
We...
Have a mom
in labor waiting.
I have to go scrub in.
Okay, you're doing great, Judy.
Just keep breathing.
Okay?
Okay, okay, okay.
She's fully dilated.
Contractions every two minutes.
Where--where are
Matt and Carrie?
'Cause this is their baby.
They need to be here.
Just keep breathing, okay?
Hey, promise me that they'll
take the baby away
as soon as it's out,
because I don't think
I can look at him and then--
and then let go.
I know. I know. I know.
I really want the Sinclairs
to have him.
Okay, okay.
Get down there. Go, go.
Go deliver. Go, go, go.
Aah!
Okay. Okay.
Get ready
to start pushing, okay?
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
Oh, thank god.
Come on. Come on.
We ran out of the house
without the video camera.
I can't believe
this is finally happening.
Okay, Judy. Here we go.
Ready? Big push.
Okay, I can see the head.
Okay.
Good.
Okay.
Um, yeah, I-I think it's...
What--what--what's wrong?
What's wrong?
Dell, press on her stomach.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, Judy, your baby's shoulder
is stuck on your pubic bone.
He's in distress. I'm gonna
have to insert my hand
and push the baby back in.
You want to put it
back inside of me?
Judy, the baby's oxygen supply
is compromised, okay?
So we're gonna get you
to the hospital
and I'm gonna do a c-section.
Naomi, Naomi--
everything is gonna be fine.
We're gonna
take care of everything.
Okay, you ready?
You're gonna be fine, okay?
Okay.
Here we go.
♪♪
Things feel...
As if they're different
this time.
I feel like we're different.
I feel so... good.
You feel it?
Feeling it, yeah.
♪♪
Let's get married.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm the groom.
You are the--the naughty,
naughty...
Maid of honor--
Cooper.
You're serious?
♪♪
You know
what I was thinking?
We need to heed
our own advice.
Take a mental health day, forget
about our clients for a while
and live for us.
Not that this
isn't living for us.
I mean, this is--
this is great.
I mean, I'm not just
talking about the sex.
Although that is excellent.
Did I mention I tend
to ramble when I'm nervous?
Which I am right now,
a little,
because you're making
odd noises.
Violet?
Everything okay?
I'm fine.
I've never been better.
Okay, Judy.
Here we go.
There we are.
Oh, vicryl,
close her up.
What's wrong?
The baby's
having trouble breathing.
Judy, it's most likely
a diaphragmatic hernia.
It's a birth defect
in the muscle
that causes the chest
to separate from the abdomen.
No, no, no.
There are some choices that you
have to make for surgery.
You have options.
No, I'm not
the mother anymore.
You--you need--you need
to talk to the Sinclairs.
Okay, listen, until
the adoption is finalized,
you're still
the legal guardian.
No, no.
It has to be the Sinclairs.
Don't you want to know
what's wrong with me?
Don't you want to know
what's wrong with me?
Hey, Coop, have you seen--
oh, I'm sorry. I didn't--
I didn't know--
oh, no. It's--it's okay. I
actually wanted to talk to you.
Oh, right. That's my cue.
Uh, we have much to discuss,
you and I. All right.
It's been weird
between us.
It's been two weeks
of weird.
You're dating Sheldon.
You made a choice.
I'm an adult.
Good.
Yeah, I just--
I just don't want it to be
weird... between us.
I mean, not now.
I mean...
Good.
Good.
Giving you any relief?
Mm.
Could you turn
whatever you're doing up?
My, uh...
Gut's on fire.
You got it.
I wish I could do more.
You've done wonders. Do you
know how boring radiology is?
Looking at films all day?
Don't start. I know you.
You were great.
I did it
because it was easy--
a good doctorial profession
for a man
who liked to sleep in
and party.
Well,
maybe you got it right--
living in the moment.
Ah.
My even more handsome doctor.
And who ever thought
that was possible?
You've got
the serious face, Sam.
How much time
do I have, doctor?
The chemo hasn't helped.
There's been no change.
I know the drill.
The cancer attacks my liver,
my liver fails,
painful death--
um, three or four weeks,
give or take.
I'm sorry.
I'll do whatever I can
to help the pain.
I'll come to your house.
We'll do whatever
we need to do to help.
That's good.
That's very good, because i'm
gonna need your help.
I want you to help me die.
But the baby's
supposed to be healthy.
He was born with
a diaphragmatic hernia.
The organs
below the diaphragm
are pushing into
his thoracic cavity,
and he's having
a hard time breathing.
I-I know this is a lot,
but Addison needs to do
the surgery quickly
to help the baby to breathe.
Now there are
two surgical options.
The first
is relatively simple
and will correct the problem
for now,
but as the baby grows,
he'll require more surgery.
And the second is higher risk,
but it will be
a more permanent solution.
I can't believe
this is happening.
What--what does Judy
want to do?
Uh, well, she wants you
to decide.
The adoption isn't even final.
Which is why I'm here.
Since the birth mother is
abdicating her right to decide,
the hospital will honor
your wishes about what to do,
but we need a decision now.
I-I don't know.
Well, what I would recommend is
the more aggressive approach.
But he could die?
Yes.
Um, I can't--i can't do this.
No, no, you can.
Just trust Dr. Montgomery.
I'm sorry. I can't.
I'm sorry.
Hi, Nora.
I made it.
You made it.
You're doing great, mom.
Let's go back.
She's losing it.
It took both of us
to get her out the front door.
Well, agoraphobia's tough.
She's--she's been entrenched
for a long time.
I've heard that for years.
I heard that when she missed
my violin recitals,
my school plays, my graduation.
I'm getting married tomorrow.
I want my mother there.
Please. You have to make sure
she doesn't back out.
Oh. Oh.
I'm--I'm so sorry.
Uh, there's an emergency.
N-Nora, I-I have to go
to the hospital.
But I can be back in--
in less than an hour.
It's okay. I'll go.
N-No. No, no, no. No.
This could be good.
It's an exercise,
'cause you're out in the world,
but you're in here,
safe, secure.
You can practice your breathing,
your visualizations.
I can't.
Mom, please.
You need to do this.
There are laws against
assisted suicide.
There's no one
coming after us, Sam.
There's no family to consider.
There's just Alexander,
and he wants to die.
Who wants to die?
Patient
with pancreatic cancer.
Stage iv-b pancreatic cancer,
and he's a doctor.
Well, if he's a doctor,
he's gonna find a way.
He wants morphine.
Which we should give him.
Ooh, that's kinda going out on
the limb there, Dr. Kevorkian.
Alexander has nothing left
but the chance to control
when and how the end comes.
This is--it's mercy,
not murder.
Letting nature run its course
is different
than helping nature along.
So it doesn't matter how we
try to rationalize it,
there is no moral difference
between writing him
a prescription
and buying him a gun.
I won't do it.
The practice won't allow it.
The Sinclairs--
they're probably
not gonna go through
with the adoption.
W-What? Because he's sick?
Let's not worry about them
right now. He needs surgery.
And without your consent,
the hospital won't allow
Dr. Montgomery to do
what she thinks
is best for him.
She told me before
I had to choose.
I don't think I can choose
and then let go.
I think you've been choosing
what's best for the baby
all along.
He needs you,
one last time.
Paper's signed.
You're good to go.
Judy came through.
Yeah, for now.
I'm still hoping that
the Sinclairs will come through.
They walked in a crisis.
Would you want that
for your kid?
Maybe we should talk
about something else.
Like who you're dating?
The colleague you refuse
to tell me about?
Well, you're one to talk.
What about Wyatt?
Why is everyone so stuck
on what did or didn't happen
with Wyatt?
Well, who else
is stuck on it?
You didn't tell Kevin?
No. There's nothing to tell.
It didn't happen.
I didn't cheat.
I didn't go out on the date.
I just went into his office
and kissed him.
Pardon me?
And then I walked out. So
technically, it wasn't cheating.
Technically, you walked into his
office and you kissed him and--
and stopped and I left,
and I have not seen him since.
Kevin keeps asking where I was,
and I keep telling him
I was working
and I divert him with sex.
But it was nothing.
Well, if it was nothing,
then did you wait a week
to tell me?
Baby's sats are falling.
Okay, take him off the vent
and bag him.
I gotta go in now.
Nora, I'm so sorry.
I was just...
Nora?
Have you seen your mother?
She's not in your office?
Maybe she's
in the bathroom.
Nora...
Are you in there?
Yes.
Do you want
to come out?
No.
Sorry.
It's open.
Peter.
Lovely to see you.
I'm treating myself
to chocolate pudding--
my favorite.
I wanted to tell you
in person.
We can't prescribe drugs
to help you kill yourself.
I understand.
I wasn't counting on it.
You're still handling
the pain, and you have time.
Not much, but time.
Get closure,
say your good-byes,
enjoy your last days.
Peter, I'm the last
of my friends left alive.
I have no lover,
no children, no one.
In the coming days,
I'll either be
in extraordinary pain
or I'll be so high on drugs
that I might as well be dead.
I don't believe
those are last days
I'd like to enjoy.
Well...
You're enjoying sugar.
Oh, this isn't sugar.
It's a mixture.
16 alprazolam tablets
from my bathroom,
12 dusty codeine tablets
from the hall bathroom,
uh, a couple
of muscle relaxants,
some sleeping pills
and a tiny bit of l.S.D.
Leftover from a fabulous party
in 1972.
Alexander--
No, don't bother. It's okay.
I'm already on my second bowl.
I told you...
I'm gonna die.
The baby's out of surgery.
Okay? It went well.
Addison was amazing.
So I thought
you'd like to know.
Dell... I can't
stop thinking about him.
All I want to do
is not think about the baby,
and I can't stop.
Is it scary in there,
in the nicu?
There's someone
talking to him, right?
It's not--
it's not a scary place?
I just--i have these terrible
images of him all alone,
and I can't stand it.
I can't.
Do you want to see him?
Oh, god.
You having pain?
It's okay.
Mmm.
Except for drinking alone.
Ah, I know
you're uncomfortable.
You don't have to stay.
I do.
If I walk out the door,
all I'll do is think about you,
here, dying alone.
I lived alone.
You reap what you sow.
Sow carefully, my friend.
You don't
want to end up tragic,
like me.
♪♪
It's small...
Contained...
Secure.
But... you're--
you're alone in there, Nora.
I'm here with you,
but I'd be more here
if you came out.
I can't.
♪♪
What are you afraid of?
♪♪
Everything.
I feel it in the--
the pit of my stomach.
It consumes me.
People look at me--
all those people--
and I feel scared--
you're--you're letting it
get big. Let's break it down.
I can't.
Don't you see that?
I-i-i--I'm letting
my daughter down,
I'm letting everyone down,
and I-I feel so scared.
I mean,
you've never felt this.
How can you know?
♪♪
I'm gonna
break all the rules
and I'm gonna tell you
something about me.
♪♪
I am more afraid
than I've ever been
in my life.
I'm...
Pregnant.
And that is...
Paralyzingly,
terrifyingly scary for me.
♪♪
But I... got up this morning
and I came to the office
because people needed me.
And that's good,
to be needed,
to--to help you.
And I'm using that
to fight back my fear.
♪♪
Motherhood is great.
That's nothing
to be afraid of.
Oh...
My daughter is the best part
of my life.
Then shouldn't you
be at her wedding?
♪♪
♪♪
Well done.
♪♪
I freaked out.
I couldn't think.
I didn't know what to do.
We made a mistake,
but we're here now.
We want to adopt him.
We've always wanted
to adopt him.
No. No.
Judy, we screwed up.
We know what you must think.
That you want him now,
when he's fixed?
It's not like that, Judy.
You made me
want to give him to you.
I thought you were the answer,
and then when I needed you,
when--when he needed you...
Uh, Judy...
I'm keeping my baby.
I'm keeping my son.
Can you tell me
if Dr. Wyatt Lockhart
is working tonight?
You are still here.
Oh.
Where else would I be
when I say that I'm working?
You know what people
with a guilty conscience do
when faced
with having to lie?
They ask a question
back at you.
Look... I'm not.
I'm kid--
I'm kidding, Addison.
No, you're not. What do you
want to hear, Kevin?
What do you want me to say
that's gonna
make you feel better?
I have to go
check on the baby.
Alexander? Pete?
Oh, uh...
You never came back,
and you, uh, you didn't
answer your phone.
No, I didn't.
Pete's just
keeping me company.
He's charon, guiding me
down the river styx.
And he didn't give me
the prescription.
I used alternative methods.
Wait, so...
Are you saying--
he made a choice.
I'm calling 9-1-1.
He doesn't want
the hospital, Sam.
This is a crime.
This is a man's life.
This is death.
He's doing this his way.
Sam, do you really want
to put him through hell,
pump his stomach,
only to put him through hell
in a few days or a week?
I'm not gonna sit here
and let you--
Here, here.
This doesn't... it doesn't
have to be this way.
You can go, Sam.
Just don't call anyone.
Don't take it upon yourself
to try to fix something
that can't be fixed.
You all right? Okay.
Lie down.
Let's do it, Charlotte.
Ah! It's gonna be--
oh, it's gonna be great--
the cuyahoga county freedmans
meet the kings from monroeville.
And we can do it, like,
halfway in between.
How do you feel about
n-n-Nashville?
I want to marry you...
Tomorrow... in Vegas.
Tomorrow?
Oh, my mother, she's--
families complicate things.
Family is messy.
Let's do this.
Marry me, Cooper Freedman.
Ohh!
What--what's wrong?
What do you need?
What can I get you?
What can I get you?
Oh, no.
It's just the pain.
It comes and goes
in waves.
Oh. Oh, now--
now it's going.
I hate seeing you
like this.
It's not my favorite thing,
either.
It's not like I want to die.
If I could live...
Like I lived when I lived...
And I lived,
let me tell you.
I thought once
I might fall in love.
I had lots of sex.
I guess I was just far too
good-looking for my own good.
You and Naomi split.
You got a girlfriend now?
Uh, kinda.
You like her?
A lot.
How's the sex?
I'm a dying man.
Indulge me.
Uh, we actually--
we haven't reached that level
yet.
Taking it slow.
I suppose that's
the way you find love.
Just don't end up
like me, Sam.
It's not that good
to die alone.
Oh!
Oh!
All right.
Oh.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Oh.
Oh.
We brought some things
for the baby.
She's not
changing her mind.
Dell.
No, it's--it's all right.
He has every right to be angry.
They weren't
to change Judy's mind.
They were things we bought
that we wanted him to have.
He should still have them.
Well, we'll pass 'em on.
For what it's worth,
we know how badly
we screwed up.
After the miscarriages
and the adoptions
that fell apart,
we felt like
we lost those babies.
The thought of this baby...
We were
afraid of not having him.
And now we don't have him.
We've lost another child...
And it's our own fault.
Tina.
She won't
get out of the car.
I can't get married
without her there.
I won't. Please.
Don't worry.
She's gonna be there.
Just go.
So you got here.
That's a huge step.
It's not enough.
I'm a failure.
I used to think
I was a good mother.
Now she'd be better off
without me.
Judy.
Did, uh...
Did Dell tell you
that the Sinclairs came by
with some things
for the baby?
Yeah, but they bailed,
so there's no more--
Dell, can I talk to you
for a minute, please?
Mm-hmm.
Excuse us.
You're pushing Judy to do
what you think is right.
It is right.
You need to listen.
If you'd listened,
you would've heard
how scared the Sinclairs were.
No, I heard.
No, Dell, you walked out.
Can't you see she's terrified?
Listen to her, Dell.
Isn't that what she's been
telling you all along?
You don't think
I should keep him?
Uh, that's not mine to say.
If you know
that this is right,
keeping the baby,
then it is.
It's right, period.
You just need to make sure
that you're doing it
for the right reasons, Judy.
Not because you think
you have to
or because you think
that others think you should,
because you want to.
When my husband
walked out...
I couldn't believe it.
I kept thinking that he was
going to come home.
I wouldn't leave the house
in case he came back.
I had to be there.
So you got stuck,
because in some ways,
you couldn't let go
of that idea,
that he'd walk through
that door.
I'd kill him if he did.
He did this to me.
No, he didn't.
You're doing this
to yourself--
punishing yourself
or depriving yourself.
He went out
and got a life.
And your daughter's doing
the same thing today.
And I know
how hard it must be for you
that she's walking out, too.
But sitting in this car
doesn't change the fact
that she is getting married.
So you want to become
a part of it
or stay alone?
So... maybe your life
didn't turn out
the way
you thought it would.
You can embrace this.
Create the next step,
starting today.
Why are you afraid
of being pregnant?
I am...
Afraid that I'll fail.
I'm afraid...
That I'm not good enough.
I'm just afraid.
But I'm not gonna let that
paralyze me.
Help me.
Help me do this.
How do I do this?
You were gone for a while.
Pete...
It'll take away
the pain.
You stole morphine so you could
euthanize a patient?
I'm a doctor, Sam.
I'm supposed to help people
manage pain,
to beat illness,
to stay healthy.
And I'm not doing
any of that.
I need to help him.
We need to help him.
Pete and I are going to sit,
and, uh, we're gonna talk.
And it's possible
that we won't pay attention
to what you're doing.
I-Is it enough?
It's enough.
Better than a petite sirah,
my dears.
L'Chaim.
One step at a time.
Deep breaths.
People are staring.
They're staring at me.
They're wondering who's walking
the mother of the bride
down the aisle.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Okay.
Here we go.
I did it.
Yes, you did.
No. I mean her.
If I had missed this...
You're going to be
a very good mother.
♪♪
I love you, honey.
I love you.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
You're in the closet.
I'm seeing if it's
any less scary in here.
♪♪
♪♪
I like it.
Me, too.
♪♪
I'm getting married.
Mm. Yeah.
Tonight.
I know,
you think it's impulsive.
I think
it's impulsive, too,
but you know how--
you know how I feel
about her.
Just ignore me.
It'll pass.
Me getting married
is funny?
Yeah. I mean, no, no.
I mean, yeah, it is.
But no, that's--
it's just that i'm...
I'm pregnant.
You're pregnant?
And I don't know
who the father is.
We're--we are two of
the most emotionally stunted
people I've ever known.
We've never made any progress
in our personal lives.
We don't do personal growth.
And now here you are
getting married,
and I'm pregnant,
and we're just growing
all over the place.
Okay, okay. Shh, shh, shh.
Okay, breathe.
Just breathe.
Breathe, breathe.
Let it out.
Okay. There you go.
Okay.
♪♪
I love her, Violet.
She's hurting
and she doesn't want to hurt,
and this will make it
all go away.
A baby.
What do you want to do?
I don't know.
Could we stay in the closet
a little bit longer?
Okay.
♪♪
♪♪
How's he doing?
His respiration is slowing.
It shouldn't be long.
We're doing
the right thing, Sam.
No, no, not that.
It's, uh... what if things
don't work out with Sonya?
You gettin' serious
about Sonya?
Well, any woman.
I mean, look at him.
He's all alone.
He's me.
He's me in, like,
40 or 50 years.
He's more me than you.
At least you have
an ex-wife, a child.
I have... nothing.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter, something's wrong.
My--my body feels...
Heavy--heavy.
Uh, I don't think--
s-something's wrong.
It's not--
I know it's not right.
Nothing's wrong.
You're dying.
This is
what it feels like
to be dying...
I don't like it.
It's, uh...
Oh, I don't like it.
Make it stop.
Please make it stop.
I have some narcan in my bag.
Make it stop.
It reverses the effects of
morphine. It's not too late.
Make it stop--stop.
Make it stop.
Alexander, look at me.
Look at me.
Do you want to do this?
Yes.
But i'm...
You're scared.
So scared.
I know...
There's no one...
All the people...
All are on the other side.
They're all dead.
Even when I was taking care
of my patients
and watching them die,
I never--i never knew
how it was to die--
to--to die alone.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
The world is gonna spin
without me.
No one will--
will remember I was here.
It's like...
I was never here.
♪♪
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
It's okay.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
He's gone.
You were here.
You were here.
You were here.
He's gone.
You were here.
You were here.
Pete.
He's gone.
♪♪
♪♪
He was here.
He was.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Just, um, just make sure
he studies.
Schoolwork probably won't be
his first priority.
He's got my nose,
and, um...
My dad and my brother
have the same nose,
and none of us
were very good studiers,
so you're gonna
have to watch him.
Okay?
Okay.
♪♪
She's brave.
It's hard to do
the right thing.
♪♪
Hi.
♪♪
I let it go.
I am not
going to ask anymore.
I'm... I'm sorry
I kept asking.
I kissed another man.
Last Friday. I walked into
his office and--
I knew it.
I wanted this to work,
but... it's not working.
Because you kissed
this other man.
No, because the kiss, the one
hour you keep asking me about,
is the one hour
this past month
that I haven't had
a knot in my stomach.
♪♪
It's a nice place,
Addison.
♪♪
I hope you find someone
who fits in.
♪♪
♪♪
Thong or floss?
♪♪
You don't want
to marry me.
I want to marry you...
Under a chuppah
with you in a big white dress
in front of everyone I know.
I can't do that.
Why not?
Why not?
Why don't you want
any family at our wedding?
Why Vegas? Why right now?
Because I can't go down
an aisle without my father.
Satisfied?
Because big daddy is dead,
and I won't go down
an aisle without him.
♪♪
So you want to marry me
or not?
You're grieving.
You need time.
I don't need time.
Your wedding day should be
the happiest day of your life--
our life.
And I want you beaming
when you come down that aisle.
That's how our marriage
should begin.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Oh, my god.
Hi, sis.
How do you like
my new office?