Private Practice (2007–2013): Season 1, Episode 9 - In Which Dell Finds His Fight - full transcript
Dell enlists Sam's help in an effort to discover the reasons behind the bruising on his grandfather's body. Cooper enlists Pete's help in conducting a newborn father's class. Past patients drop in on Oceanside, including a couple having trouble with conception and a police officer in need of a physical.
[Sam] Previously on Private Practice :
You've been downgraded to acquaintance.
I'm moving on.
I was wondering if
you would be interested
- in having a drink with me.
- Oh.
[Sam] What we did the other night,
not a sin.
- You do a lot for the practice.
- But I do it for you.
I am not having sex with you because
I wrote some things on the Internet.
- Thank you so much !
- Pete helped.
They saved a marriage.
[ ? The Meters : Ride Your Pony]
- It's not erupting.
- It'll erupt. Just wait.
[Clicking]
- It's not erupting.
- Just wait.
- Not erupting.
- I told you.
Why didn't your daughter
do her science project ?
Because when Maya's happy,
Naomi's happy.
Getting divorced, you stop being
the keeper of your ex-wife's happiness.
Yeah. Right.
- You trying to get in Naomi's pants ?
- No. I am not.
- Her pants are her pants.
- Do not sleep with Naomi.
- I'm... Why ?
- We don't need any more office drama.
You couldn't seal the deal with Addison,
you couldn't seal the deal with Violet.
I seal the deal.
OK, I seal the deal.
Not that I'm sealing anything
with Naomi.
Because I'm not...
...sealing... Naomi.
- [Cell phone ringing]
Casual sex with virtual strangers.
That's the way to go.
Yeah, how's that working out for you ?
Actually, it's working out just fine.
I got to go.
- Wait.
- Hello.
- I think he may be smarter than us.
- Me, too.
- Next time I want to be bad cop.
- Pardon me ?
You know, the whole dirty bossy thing ?
Don't get me wrong. I like it,
but as a male of the species...
Understood. Still not going to happen.
OK.
Unlike you Oceanside people,
I have a busy day.
Patients, meetings...
I have to find a new instructor for
this parenting class for dads tonight.
So, unless you are applying
to be my assistant,
enough with the questions.
With the lights off I almost forget
I'm having sex with Charlotte King.
Isn't finding a teacher
small potatoes for a Chief of Staff ?
I mean, a dirty, bossy Chief of Staff.
No, sir. Big potatoes. One of
the hospital's biggest money makers.
Who wipe the floor
with the other classes in town.
You have to be competitive about
everything. You always have to win.
- You want me back tonight or not ?
- I want to be bad cop !
You're not the bad cop type.
Now, yes or no ?
OK, fine, yes.
[Shower running]
[Elevator dings]
I'm not afraid
of a relationship with Sam.
We are not getting back together.
You're afraid to talk to Sam about
being in a relationship ? You want to be ?
Sam is one of the good ones.
Know how hard it is to find a good one ?
I was married to Sam.
I know how good he is.
He is good.
You mean, good-good ?
You mean, bed good ?
- No. Absolutely not. No.
- Mm-hmm.
OK... I'm missing...
What are we talking about here ?
Just talk to Sam
about where you're going.
You won't talk to Pete.
She won't talk to Cooper, so...
We're sort of talking.
I'm trying to get over it.
He's not over it. He's avoiding me.
What are we talking about ?
[Elevator dings]
- Hello.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- See ? Avoiding me.
- I'm going to talk to Pete right now.
- Hey, where's the honey ?
- Uh...
All we have is artificial sweetener.
Food should weigh more than this.
Can we... I've been thinking
about things between us.
Yeah, they've been weird.
Just because we were bad at dating,
doesn't mean that we have to be
uncomfortable around each other.
- I think that we should be friends.
- Friends ?
Yeah, I hear grown-ups
do it all the time.
Done.
So...
- No, we don't have to start right now.
- Good.
My office is freezing.
It's frozen in there.
I need my labs for my 10 :00.
All right. I'll go get them. Wait.
Something is off today. What is off ?
- Um...
- [phone ringing]
Just because Addison found out about us,
you didn't tell her every little detail ?
- And she didn't tell everybody else ?
- No.
- OK.
- Why ?
It's just Cooper is acting
like maybe he knew.
- My office smells like a dead rat.
- Excuse me ?
- No one took out the trash.
- What is going on today ?
[Elevator ding]
- I'm here. I'm here.
- Is everything all right ?
Yeah. It's fine. Sort of.
Is it possible
you could help me with something ?
- Yeah, sure. What is it ?
- It's my Pa Pa. Something's wrong.
Your Pa Pa ?
Please tell me that
that's not what you call your...
- No.
- OK.
My grandfather and his friend Nate.
I think they're being abused
at their nursing home.
The vaginismus, is it recurring ?
No. Not at all. Once you got us going,
our sex has been...
Unbelievable. I mean, really...
We've been doing it like crazy
for the last two months.
I've peed on I don't know
how many sticks. Nothing.
Something's just not right.
I just know it.
I'm just a mess down there.
Cathleen, two months.
I mean, it takes couples time
to conceive. Sometimes up to a year.
I know. I just...
We really want to have a baby.
It's not like I'm a spring chicken.
It took me a long time to find Geoffrey.
I just want to know that we can.
OK. I'll check your FSH
and get a sample from Geoffrey
if that'll make you feel better.
This grandson of mine worries too much.
Ever since he was a boy. Worry, worry.
No, he's just concerned about you.
Do you see those ? Every time I go
to the nursing home there's another one.
- And look. Look, look, look.
- Those are liver spots, kid.
- You have lollipops here ?
- [Chuckling] They're just for the kids.
So where are these bruises coming from ?
- I don't know.
- He says this every time I ask.
Has anyone who works
at the nursing home hurt you ?
They wouldn't have the nerve.
I spent ten years in the Marine Corps,
fought in Korea. I'd beat them down.
- What about dementia ?
- What about sleepwalking ?
- You bumping into things ?
- What am I, an idiot ?
- You are kind of a klutz.
- Watch it.
Or you'll come over and fall on me ?
Look, my memory
is as sharp as a Swiss Army knife.
Ask me anything from 1945 on
and I'll tell you.
OK.
Your grandfather claims
he's not being abused.
- I'm inclined to believe him.
- Well, I'm not.
Look, he would never say if
something like that was happening.
What am I supposed to do ?
Wait and hope I'm wrong ?
- Dell. I'm ready. Let's go.
- All right.
- Oh, so long, fellows. So long.
- So long.
Oh.
- Hey.
- Dr. Montgomery.
You're, uh...
You're dry.
Last time I saw you, you were all wet
from the birthing tub.
- Yet you still recognize me.
- Yes.
Well, my cop-honed powers of deduction.
I'm waiting for Dr. Bennett.
- I'm having him do my physical.
- You're a patient.
He delivered a baby
next to a Slurpee machine.
That he did.
- So he must be good.
- You are in good hands.
- Officer Nelson ?
- Dr. Bennett.
I'm sorry.
Dr. Montgomery was just distracting me.
Well, she often has that effect
on people. Come on, let's do this.
Here's the pitch.
You and me,
parenting class for new fathers.
You do your holistic baby thing.
I got dads who are on board.
All we got to do is make the call.
- You come up with this yourself ?
- Yes, sir.
It's time we got more aggressive and
competitive with other institutions.
We're guys, talking to guys.
We can handle this.
We can totally handle it.
Cooper and I are gonna teach
a parenting class to expectant dads.
You never told me about a class.
I could...
Gonna go twosies on it. Do it our way.
The insurance on that
could cost a lot...
It's not a problem. It's going
to bring in 20,000 dollars in two days.
Everybody needs to leave Cooper alone.
Great idea. Godspeed.
Hey. What were you up to last night ?
I called you, but got no answer.
I crashed early.
- Hey, Pete.
- Hey.
Have fun at your class.
- "Have fun at your class."
- I'm being a friend.
We are doing "friendship."
I'm your friend, and you've
never been that nice to me.
We're adjusting, all right ? It's just...
Whenever we give each other
a hard time or we start to fight...
I mean, that's when...
That's when the two of you
get hot for each other.
It's twisted. That's why
I don't know what to do about my cop.
I think maybe he's interested,
but maybe I shouldn't inflict myself
on a decent, unsuspecting
officer of the peace.
Well, maybe that's what you need.
My track record with men lately...
He's probably a crazy.
We checked your LH levels
and they're normal.
- You're ovulating.
- Good. That's good, right ?
We did find some fibroids,
so we should monitor them.
I knew it. It's always me.
First my vagina was locked and now...
Get your money back. I am a dud.
The fertility issue
doesn't lie with you.
Geoffrey, we checked your sperm count
and, unfortunately, it was very low.
How low ?
There were no viable sperm
in your specimen.
I'm sorry, Geoffrey. You're sterile.
I know this isn't what you want to hear,
but there is hope.
There are other options.
There's sperm donation, adoption.
The main thing is you can have a child.
A family.
- No adoption.
- Wait.
Don't know if we
should be ruling that out.
We're going with a sperm donor.
You've always wanted to be pregnant,
you've always wanted a baby of your own.
Do we have to decide now ?
Is there a reason to rush ?
Not to rush, but fertility does decline
every year for a woman
after the age of 35.
And the fibroids
could eventually interfere...
Right. We get it.
We've got to go for it now.
They said you're ovulating.
Doesn't that mean
we're in the zone to try ?
That's right. Yes.
Are you sure you're OK with this ?
Cathleen, I love you.
It's what you want. What I want.
I'm sure.
What's wrong with Dell's granddad ?
It's just some minor bumps and bruises.
Dell's concerned
there might be some abuse going on,
but Nate and Wendell are adamant
that that's not happening.
Dell's grandfather is a war vet. He'd be
too proud to admit something like that.
Where's the mom ? Dell's always
getting postcards from India and China.
Yeah, I asked him once.
He said that she was a rolling stone.
[Naomi] She left Dell
with his grandparents.
Wendell went in the home
after his wife died.
You sure know a lot about Dell.
If Dell suspects something,
maybe you should.
I read a paper about elder abuse.
It's under-reported.
I'll call the nursing home, see if
I can get a hold of his medical records.
Hey, Sam.
Tell me what that was about, earlier.
Oh, uh...
I just think that it would be nice
if we kept this thing private.
Well, somebody already found out, Sam.
And, honestly,
I don't think it's that big of a deal.
You afraid this is
gonna mean commitment ?
Because if you're ashamed
of having sex with your ex-wife, then...
- Naomi, I got labs for your patient.
- Just leave it on my desk.
Sorry.
Jeez. They're really going at it lately.
One minute they're grinning,
the next minute they're...
- You think they're going at it ?
- Sex ?
No. No. You think so ?
As much as they argue ?
Angry sex is hot.
I called the nursing home and they sent
over Wendell and Nate's medical records.
There have been a bunch of injury
reports in the past few months.
- Minor scrapes, bruises.
- So I was right to be concerned.
It's not proof of anything, but yeah,
you were right to be concerned.
- I'm gonna check this out.
- I'll go with you.
- I can handle this.
- Technically, they're my patients.
Which means, legally,
I'm as obligated to them as anyone else.
- I told you, I don't...
- Dell, I'm going.
All right.
Let's start by picking up our babies.
But with two hands.
My baby looks like Chucky.
Do you want to trade ?
- No way.
- No trading babies.
One thing we're trying to teach you
is to bond with your newborn.
I don't want to bond with Chucky.
These babies are gonna come into
your life and seem so small and fragile
that you're going to be
afraid to touch them. Don't be.
They need to be held and
they're a lot tougher than they look.
I heard a baby can eat
half a cup of sand and be fine.
That's not...
What about that baby
that fell 11 stories ?
Crawled away without a scratch.
You can't break a baby.
Yeah, you can.
From 11 stories, totally breakable.
- Who's your pediatrician ?
- You know what ?
Why don't we start with the basics ?
Um...
Changing a diaper.
Who wants to give it a try ?
- I'd like to try.
- Adam ! Our first volunteer.
Let's do this ! Dr. Pete.
OK, gentlemen, put your babies down.
Support the head.
Next time support the head.
He's probably with Nate or Arthur.
They play bingo.
Where is everybody ?
We're looking for Wendell in room 310.
Do you know where he is ?
- If he's not in his room, I don't...
- We checked his room. He's not there.
Aren't you supposed to be watching them ?
They give me five an hour not to.
If you can do better...
You think that guy was messing with us ?
I should have given him a 20.
[Distant shouting]
You hear that ?
Yeah, I hear it.
Stick it to him !
Come on ! Come on !
Stop ! Stop !
You two are going to kill each other !
Get him !
- Pa Pa !
- Stay out of this !
This is a championship match !
Don't want him making excuses
when I kick his butt.
- First time for everything.
- Except you growing a pair.
Come on, get up ! Is that all you got ?
Heart rate's down to 30.
I can barely feel his pulse. He's hurt.
Sure he is ! Come on ! Get up,
you old geezer ! Get some more of this !
No, no. Game over. He's really hurt.
We got to get him an ambulance.
I need to get him to a hospital now !
Good first day, you guys.
Check your babies at the door.
Guys, that was amazing !
I was wondering if there's any homework ?
No. No, homework.
Your energy is great for this class.
And it's OK to be nervous.
It's normal for a first-time dad.
Thanks, but I'm actually not a dad.
I'm just here for Jack.
- Jack is your partner ?
- No. No.
He's a partner at the firm,
but I'm just his assistant.
- That's why I'm taking the class.
- Jack is your boss.
- He sent his assistant.
- Second assistant, actually.
But not for long...
thanks to this class.
- You need to tell him to be here.
- No, no. I couldn't tell him that.
He'll destroy me. Or have me destroyed.
The requirement for this class
is you're going to be a dad.
So if your boss wants to take the class,
he has to attend himself.
Hey. You're still here ?
Cathleen went back for one more look
at the sperm donor books.
She's hoping something will click.
I'm going to give her this baby.
I believe you. You're determined.
But why so determined ?
Cathleen never asks for much.
I promised her a happy life.
You have to get over yourself
to do that.
Well, I wonder
how Cathleen would feel about that,
you disregarding your own feelings
to give her what she wants.
She doesn't talk about it,
but Cathleen was adopted.
I mean, she's got great parents,
but I wanted to give her what I had.
You know, my family.
They're crazy, but...
She gets to have one person in her life
that looks like her.
But what about what you want, Geoffrey ?
I tell you what. Why don't you...
go home, get some sleep,
think about it
and then start over tomorrow ?
[Woman] Dr. Shaeford to OR Three.
- How is he ?
- Well, he had a heart attack.
We're trying to re-open
his blocked vessels.
I did that ? I did that to him ?
Well, I'm sure it didn't help that you
decked him, but we can't say right now.
I don't believe this.
We didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.
- Then why did you hit each other ?
- We had to do something.
The days there,
you can't tell one from another.
Me, Nate, we were all going crazy.
That part's obvious.
Maybe your granddaddy needs a minute...
I got it. I need you to swear, OK ?
No more of this.
You think I don't know it's over ?
Dell.
- Old man fight club ?
- Oh, yeah.
Wendell was the ringleader.
Knocked the hell out of his friend
who's, actually, not doing too well now.
It's amazing what people will do
to entertain themselves.
- Come here.
- What ?
Oh.
- What are you doing ?
- Hmm.
I'm just entertaining myself.
And you. Trying, at least.
- No.
- Come here.
- Sam, no. No. No.
- What ?
- I'm not going to be your secret lover.
- Oh, come on, Naomi.
You're mad because I'm trying
to spice things up now that we're...
...whatever we are.
OK, everybody around here ?
They already went through our divorce.
Do we really have to drag them
through every detail now ?
This is not about them.
This is about things being different
the second time around.
If there is a second time around.
I need to know you're not
just going to give up this time.
Forget it. I got to go.
I have to get... I have a patient.
Listen. Wait.
Naomi, your patient's here.
- Right. I know.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, uh...
I was looking over these medical reports
from the nursing home...
What did you do to her ?
- Excuse me ?
- You heard me. What did you do ?
- I don't think it's your business.
- No, it is, OK ?
No, it's not, Dell.
I know you're upset about Wendell...
This has nothing to do with him.
Every time she walks away from you
she's miserable,
and I care about how she feels.
I care !
No, I know what you think,
but this isn't just a crush, OK ?
Maybe after so many years
you just don't see it.
You know how many women
think like that and look like that
and laugh like that and care ?
One. So far, I've met one.
She's out of my league in every way,
but I don't care. She dazzles me.
And I won't meet someone like her
when the "time is right"
because I won't. I love her, OK ?
And I guarantee you,
I wouldn't make her cry.
OK, uh, Dell, I know that you're
under a lot of stress right now,
so I'm going to pretend you didn't
just say those things about my wife.
Ex-wife.
I just wanted to let you know I'm going
to do my job, but I'm done with Dell.
- Hey, what happened ?
- Dell is a...
- Dell's a child.
- Sam, will you cut him a break ?
Oh, you have no idea.
I'm cutting him a break.
A big damn break.
We put a lock on the basement door.
They were taking bets.
The winner would walk around
all puffed up. What a thing, huh.
G-49.
Hey, Pa Pa.
[Woman] l-26.
Nate ?
Uh, the same.
The doctors put a pacemaker in.
You shouldn't blame yourself.
He didn't have to fight you.
I should have known better.
Hey.
- Still no click.
- Where's Geoffrey ?
On his way. It's not like we haven't
gone over these guys a million times.
- Hey.
- I think I've solved our problem.
I found the perfect donor.
- Mark.
- I'd like you to meet my brother.
- Your brother ?
- Hey, yeah.
Let's make a kid.
[Charlotte] So it's true.
I had to see it for myself.
You stole my dads.
You took my class roster.
I just had to refund $27,000.
You know how that looks ?
See how it feels to be someone's bitch ?
I see. This is a game to you.
- It's not for you ? Come on.
- You know what ?
We're off for tonight.
Game over.
I know this is a little close.
But Cathleen said herself,
she doesn't settle.
- She has her idea of what she wants.
- And I'm the next best thing.
Are you sure you're OK
with this, Mark ?
I mean, you'd be making a child.
I'm not having the baby.
I'm just gonna be doing the uncle thing.
It sounds simple now, but sometimes
donations from family members can...
- It gets complicated.
- Yeah.
- Mark's not complicated.
- No, I'm not complicated.
I mean, he won't think twice about this.
- You won't ?
- Nope.
I probably have a few kids out there
I don't know about already.
It's a joke.
- It's probably a joke.
- This is good, right ?
I mean, maybe not us, exactly, but,
you know, I'll be in the mix.
- Yes. It's just a little...
- I know.
And we don't have to, at all.
It's just...
No. I want to. You're right.
You'll be in the mix,
and that's what matters.
Hey, have you seen Dr. Montgomery ?
- Not lately. Did you ask at reception ?
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- You're back.
Yeah.
And you met Pete. My friend.
Yeah. Kevin Nelson. Hi.
I came to pick up
my medical report for work.
You know, they can just
e-mail that to you.
[Addison clears throat]
They can, kind of, e-mail you.
OK... I thought I might see you, and...
[man on radio] Two-two-seven,
we need you on that call back on...
- I've got to take this.
- OK. It was nice to see you again.
Please. Look, I won't be a disturbance.
And if you can just talk into the mic.
[Chuckling] Yeah. No. Sorry, dude.
What am I supposed to tell Jack ?
He'll fire me !
And after those prenatal classes with
his wife and decorating the nursery...
- How about I tell him something ?
- No.
Your wife is about to have a baby, Jack.
So put down the BlackBerry,
stop sending Adam to do your dirty work
and get over here. Got that, Jack-ass ?
OK. Using a speculum, I'm going
to insert a catheter into your uterus
where the sperm will be released.
- Mark's stuff ? It was really OK ?
- Oh, yeah. It was excellent.
Millions of little guys.
So, with any luck,
the "stuff' will swim right to your egg
and presto, you should have an embryo.
Yay !
All right. And here we go.
No !
I can't have Mark inside me, this
brother sperm, traveling to my uterus.
- I know.
- Honestly, I love your brother but...
- He's kind of a jerk.
- He's kind of a jerk !
- Why would you even suggest this ?
- I'm trying here, OK ?
Listen, both of you, this isn't
right for you. And that's OK.
I don't want anybody's baby but yours.
I'm sorry.
So what do we do ?
Just give up ? Not have a kid ?
I just can't do this. I can't.
There's got to be another way.
Please.
Please help us make our baby.
I thought that
the brother was our solution.
No, they were right. He's a jerk.
I was momentarily attracted to him,
so he must be.
The sweet brother can't make babies.
What does that say
about natural selection ?
What were his levels ?
FSH and prolactin
were within normal limits.
- How about testosterone ?
- Borderline. Borderline low.
But not non-existent.
There might be a way.
And if there is, we should find it.
Screw natural selection.
Gentlemen, prepare
to have your lives transformed.
I present to you : Diaper B. Gone.
I'm Jack Grossman.
Which one of you jerks
called me a jackass ?
That would be me.
Your name's Jack,
and you were acting like an ass.
You don't know anything about me,
my wife, my work, my life.
- Nothing.
- He was just trying to help.
I know that you pawned off a class
that could help save your baby's life.
- You think you're clever ?
- You're a tough guy.
But the tough guy act ?
It's not gonna work with being a father.
I'm doing this my way. My wife's gonna
stay home with our kid and I'm...
- Your wife is not there to do your job.
- You can't check out.
You got to show up.
In fact, you have got to screw things up
before you even have the first clue...
How many of you guys have figured out
what it means to be a father ?
I don't know much,
but I know more than this guy.
This kid is coming
whether you're ready for it or not.
You think I don't know that ?
You think it doesn't
keep me up at night ?
All I want for that kid
is to be safe and to be happy.
I'm doing everything
that I know how to do.
I believe you. Now do more.
You came here to yell at a pediatrician,
so don't tell me you don't care enough.
I got this.
I'm not fired ?
No. But there's no way
you're watching me do this.
Well, come on, let's show this guy
how to rock this, right ? Come on !
Hey, yeah. Show him how it's done.
So did Officer Manly make a move ?
[Sighing]
- You really want to hear about this ?
- This is what friends do. Right ?
No sex talk. That's off-limits.
I don't usually talk about it.
I'm more of a "do it" guy.
Yeah, good to know.
And the officer
did not get a chance to "move."
- My man choices lately...
- Have been me ?
And Trunk.
Say yes.
It's that simple ?
It's not your fault
there've been misfires.
Dating is a numbers game. Get out there
as much as you can and see what works.
Volume dating. That's your philosophy ?
Most of the time you're not
gonna find the right fit.
Sometimes it's the last person
you think who makes you happy.
And, yeah, I'm out there.
Good. Good advice. For us.
I got to go take care of
Cathleen and Geoffrey.
So we think we found something.
It's a new procedure
called Testicular Sperm Extraction.
- OK. What's that ?
- Sperm search and rescue.
We go inside the testicle
to look for a few viable sperm
which we implant
into Cathleen's eggs to make a child.
- You can do that ?
- Yes.
We use a surgical microscope
to isolate sperm producing tissue.
If we find even one sperm,
we have a shot.
This is so frigging cool !
It's like Rambo time.
- Inside my testicles.
- Yes.
Yeah.
I know why you've been avoiding me.
- What ?
- It's...
I... [sighs] owe you an apology.
- You do ?
- Yes.
I was stupid to think we could have
unemotional sex, or attempted sex.
We care about each other.
We're friends.
Friends with benefits never works.
I was wrong.
- Thank you.
- So it was the sex ?
- That's why you've been avoiding me ?
- It was the sex.
Good. So we're good ?
- We're good.
- Good.
OK, Geoffrey,
once we get inside, you may feel
a slight pulling or discomfort.
If it gets too bad we can stop.
And then, if Dr. Montgomery locates
any sperm, I'll extract Cathleen's eggs.
You can do this, honey.
I love you, babe.
OK. On three.
One... two... three.
OK. I'm going inside.
Taking a look around.
Trying to find that one swimmer.
What if she doesn't find anything ?
- What if there's nothing there ?
- I love you no matter what.
What's going on ?
The hospital just called.
I've got to go get my... Wendell.
Nate's not going to make it.
Anything ?
No, not...
Wait. What's that ?
I have one ? You found it ?
Maybe. I just need to grab it.
Come on, you bastard !
Sorry.
Got it.
- You did ?
- Hold on a minute. We're checking.
Yeah. There you go.
- That's my kid.
- That's your kid.
[ ? Brendan James : The Sun Will Rise]
Nate was right about his heart.
It was shot.
- It wasn't me ?
- No. No.
He was living on borrowed time.
I'm sorry.
I know he was your friend.
Nate lost his wife too.
And then, he was at the home.
You want to know why we fight ?
I'll tell you why.
On those days, you wake up thinking,
"Today something happens
besides this death march."
Our lives, they change.
Fair enough, we're old.
But they don't have to be over.
Damn, it felt good.
To fight.
I hate bingo.
So did Nate.
Your grandma, she was what I lived for.
You'll see, when you're like me.
You'll wish you'd fought more
your whole life.
You'll miss caring
that much about anything.
I think we just made a baby.
Hey. You want to grab a bite ?
I can come to your house.
Get a pizza, movie.
- I have plans, actually.
- Oh, OK.
- But we're good ?
- We're good. Good.
- You have a girlfriend.
- What ?
No. You have no idea how... No.
Cooper, if this is why
you've been avoiding me, don't.
I'm happy for you. I am.
God, one of us has to act
like a grown-up.
I'm hardly...
I still want to hang out with you.
It's not a big thing.
Exactly. So don't be a freak.
Right. You're right.
Go.
Don't stand her up.
Relax. Give that one guy
a chance to settle in.
I'm going to be a big old lump.
- Thanks for everything.
- Yeah.
Is it too soon to feel pregnant ?
Maybe just a little. Just...
- Taking it easy.
- Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I heard you did a great job in there.
- Yeah. God, those two ?
They make you think
it's worth slugging it out.
If you can find somebody
that makes you feel half that good.
Thank you for your advice earlier.
You're welcome.
Who kicked your dog ?
I think I'm helping some other guy
win over Addison.
Good job.
It'd be weird
to punch him out now, right ?
Yeah. A little bit.
[ ? Sonya Kitchell :
Can't Get You Out Of My Mind]
[Charlotte gasping]
You said you weren't coming over.
And then...
- That's "game over ?"
- Mm-hmm.
Sex is best when you feel like
you want to kill the other person.
You stole my dads.
Yeah. And that makes me a bad guy.
Yeah, a bad, dirty cop kind of guy.
- A little bit.
- Mm-hmm.
So are we dating ?
Lf...
...dirty sex on a regular basis
is dating, then yeah.
OK. Good.
Does that mean I get to be on top ?
Never.
[Chuckles]
- Oh. Hi, Dell. What is...
- Here.
Oh. Thank you.
I don't have it all together, OK ?
But I'm not a kid.
I'm a man who loves you.
Who's going to fight for you.
Hey. Have you seen Addison ? I need to...
OK ? I don't care.
Let everybody know.
What was that ?
He's fighting for her.
She's worth it.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I am here to see Officer Nelson.
Kevin Nelson.
- I'm a friend.
- Let's see if I can find him.
[Rings doorbell]
Addison ?
You've been downgraded to acquaintance.
I'm moving on.
I was wondering if
you would be interested
- in having a drink with me.
- Oh.
[Sam] What we did the other night,
not a sin.
- You do a lot for the practice.
- But I do it for you.
I am not having sex with you because
I wrote some things on the Internet.
- Thank you so much !
- Pete helped.
They saved a marriage.
[ ? The Meters : Ride Your Pony]
- It's not erupting.
- It'll erupt. Just wait.
[Clicking]
- It's not erupting.
- Just wait.
- Not erupting.
- I told you.
Why didn't your daughter
do her science project ?
Because when Maya's happy,
Naomi's happy.
Getting divorced, you stop being
the keeper of your ex-wife's happiness.
Yeah. Right.
- You trying to get in Naomi's pants ?
- No. I am not.
- Her pants are her pants.
- Do not sleep with Naomi.
- I'm... Why ?
- We don't need any more office drama.
You couldn't seal the deal with Addison,
you couldn't seal the deal with Violet.
I seal the deal.
OK, I seal the deal.
Not that I'm sealing anything
with Naomi.
Because I'm not...
...sealing... Naomi.
- [Cell phone ringing]
Casual sex with virtual strangers.
That's the way to go.
Yeah, how's that working out for you ?
Actually, it's working out just fine.
I got to go.
- Wait.
- Hello.
- I think he may be smarter than us.
- Me, too.
- Next time I want to be bad cop.
- Pardon me ?
You know, the whole dirty bossy thing ?
Don't get me wrong. I like it,
but as a male of the species...
Understood. Still not going to happen.
OK.
Unlike you Oceanside people,
I have a busy day.
Patients, meetings...
I have to find a new instructor for
this parenting class for dads tonight.
So, unless you are applying
to be my assistant,
enough with the questions.
With the lights off I almost forget
I'm having sex with Charlotte King.
Isn't finding a teacher
small potatoes for a Chief of Staff ?
I mean, a dirty, bossy Chief of Staff.
No, sir. Big potatoes. One of
the hospital's biggest money makers.
Who wipe the floor
with the other classes in town.
You have to be competitive about
everything. You always have to win.
- You want me back tonight or not ?
- I want to be bad cop !
You're not the bad cop type.
Now, yes or no ?
OK, fine, yes.
[Shower running]
[Elevator dings]
I'm not afraid
of a relationship with Sam.
We are not getting back together.
You're afraid to talk to Sam about
being in a relationship ? You want to be ?
Sam is one of the good ones.
Know how hard it is to find a good one ?
I was married to Sam.
I know how good he is.
He is good.
You mean, good-good ?
You mean, bed good ?
- No. Absolutely not. No.
- Mm-hmm.
OK... I'm missing...
What are we talking about here ?
Just talk to Sam
about where you're going.
You won't talk to Pete.
She won't talk to Cooper, so...
We're sort of talking.
I'm trying to get over it.
He's not over it. He's avoiding me.
What are we talking about ?
[Elevator dings]
- Hello.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- See ? Avoiding me.
- I'm going to talk to Pete right now.
- Hey, where's the honey ?
- Uh...
All we have is artificial sweetener.
Food should weigh more than this.
Can we... I've been thinking
about things between us.
Yeah, they've been weird.
Just because we were bad at dating,
doesn't mean that we have to be
uncomfortable around each other.
- I think that we should be friends.
- Friends ?
Yeah, I hear grown-ups
do it all the time.
Done.
So...
- No, we don't have to start right now.
- Good.
My office is freezing.
It's frozen in there.
I need my labs for my 10 :00.
All right. I'll go get them. Wait.
Something is off today. What is off ?
- Um...
- [phone ringing]
Just because Addison found out about us,
you didn't tell her every little detail ?
- And she didn't tell everybody else ?
- No.
- OK.
- Why ?
It's just Cooper is acting
like maybe he knew.
- My office smells like a dead rat.
- Excuse me ?
- No one took out the trash.
- What is going on today ?
[Elevator ding]
- I'm here. I'm here.
- Is everything all right ?
Yeah. It's fine. Sort of.
Is it possible
you could help me with something ?
- Yeah, sure. What is it ?
- It's my Pa Pa. Something's wrong.
Your Pa Pa ?
Please tell me that
that's not what you call your...
- No.
- OK.
My grandfather and his friend Nate.
I think they're being abused
at their nursing home.
The vaginismus, is it recurring ?
No. Not at all. Once you got us going,
our sex has been...
Unbelievable. I mean, really...
We've been doing it like crazy
for the last two months.
I've peed on I don't know
how many sticks. Nothing.
Something's just not right.
I just know it.
I'm just a mess down there.
Cathleen, two months.
I mean, it takes couples time
to conceive. Sometimes up to a year.
I know. I just...
We really want to have a baby.
It's not like I'm a spring chicken.
It took me a long time to find Geoffrey.
I just want to know that we can.
OK. I'll check your FSH
and get a sample from Geoffrey
if that'll make you feel better.
This grandson of mine worries too much.
Ever since he was a boy. Worry, worry.
No, he's just concerned about you.
Do you see those ? Every time I go
to the nursing home there's another one.
- And look. Look, look, look.
- Those are liver spots, kid.
- You have lollipops here ?
- [Chuckling] They're just for the kids.
So where are these bruises coming from ?
- I don't know.
- He says this every time I ask.
Has anyone who works
at the nursing home hurt you ?
They wouldn't have the nerve.
I spent ten years in the Marine Corps,
fought in Korea. I'd beat them down.
- What about dementia ?
- What about sleepwalking ?
- You bumping into things ?
- What am I, an idiot ?
- You are kind of a klutz.
- Watch it.
Or you'll come over and fall on me ?
Look, my memory
is as sharp as a Swiss Army knife.
Ask me anything from 1945 on
and I'll tell you.
OK.
Your grandfather claims
he's not being abused.
- I'm inclined to believe him.
- Well, I'm not.
Look, he would never say if
something like that was happening.
What am I supposed to do ?
Wait and hope I'm wrong ?
- Dell. I'm ready. Let's go.
- All right.
- Oh, so long, fellows. So long.
- So long.
Oh.
- Hey.
- Dr. Montgomery.
You're, uh...
You're dry.
Last time I saw you, you were all wet
from the birthing tub.
- Yet you still recognize me.
- Yes.
Well, my cop-honed powers of deduction.
I'm waiting for Dr. Bennett.
- I'm having him do my physical.
- You're a patient.
He delivered a baby
next to a Slurpee machine.
That he did.
- So he must be good.
- You are in good hands.
- Officer Nelson ?
- Dr. Bennett.
I'm sorry.
Dr. Montgomery was just distracting me.
Well, she often has that effect
on people. Come on, let's do this.
Here's the pitch.
You and me,
parenting class for new fathers.
You do your holistic baby thing.
I got dads who are on board.
All we got to do is make the call.
- You come up with this yourself ?
- Yes, sir.
It's time we got more aggressive and
competitive with other institutions.
We're guys, talking to guys.
We can handle this.
We can totally handle it.
Cooper and I are gonna teach
a parenting class to expectant dads.
You never told me about a class.
I could...
Gonna go twosies on it. Do it our way.
The insurance on that
could cost a lot...
It's not a problem. It's going
to bring in 20,000 dollars in two days.
Everybody needs to leave Cooper alone.
Great idea. Godspeed.
Hey. What were you up to last night ?
I called you, but got no answer.
I crashed early.
- Hey, Pete.
- Hey.
Have fun at your class.
- "Have fun at your class."
- I'm being a friend.
We are doing "friendship."
I'm your friend, and you've
never been that nice to me.
We're adjusting, all right ? It's just...
Whenever we give each other
a hard time or we start to fight...
I mean, that's when...
That's when the two of you
get hot for each other.
It's twisted. That's why
I don't know what to do about my cop.
I think maybe he's interested,
but maybe I shouldn't inflict myself
on a decent, unsuspecting
officer of the peace.
Well, maybe that's what you need.
My track record with men lately...
He's probably a crazy.
We checked your LH levels
and they're normal.
- You're ovulating.
- Good. That's good, right ?
We did find some fibroids,
so we should monitor them.
I knew it. It's always me.
First my vagina was locked and now...
Get your money back. I am a dud.
The fertility issue
doesn't lie with you.
Geoffrey, we checked your sperm count
and, unfortunately, it was very low.
How low ?
There were no viable sperm
in your specimen.
I'm sorry, Geoffrey. You're sterile.
I know this isn't what you want to hear,
but there is hope.
There are other options.
There's sperm donation, adoption.
The main thing is you can have a child.
A family.
- No adoption.
- Wait.
Don't know if we
should be ruling that out.
We're going with a sperm donor.
You've always wanted to be pregnant,
you've always wanted a baby of your own.
Do we have to decide now ?
Is there a reason to rush ?
Not to rush, but fertility does decline
every year for a woman
after the age of 35.
And the fibroids
could eventually interfere...
Right. We get it.
We've got to go for it now.
They said you're ovulating.
Doesn't that mean
we're in the zone to try ?
That's right. Yes.
Are you sure you're OK with this ?
Cathleen, I love you.
It's what you want. What I want.
I'm sure.
What's wrong with Dell's granddad ?
It's just some minor bumps and bruises.
Dell's concerned
there might be some abuse going on,
but Nate and Wendell are adamant
that that's not happening.
Dell's grandfather is a war vet. He'd be
too proud to admit something like that.
Where's the mom ? Dell's always
getting postcards from India and China.
Yeah, I asked him once.
He said that she was a rolling stone.
[Naomi] She left Dell
with his grandparents.
Wendell went in the home
after his wife died.
You sure know a lot about Dell.
If Dell suspects something,
maybe you should.
I read a paper about elder abuse.
It's under-reported.
I'll call the nursing home, see if
I can get a hold of his medical records.
Hey, Sam.
Tell me what that was about, earlier.
Oh, uh...
I just think that it would be nice
if we kept this thing private.
Well, somebody already found out, Sam.
And, honestly,
I don't think it's that big of a deal.
You afraid this is
gonna mean commitment ?
Because if you're ashamed
of having sex with your ex-wife, then...
- Naomi, I got labs for your patient.
- Just leave it on my desk.
Sorry.
Jeez. They're really going at it lately.
One minute they're grinning,
the next minute they're...
- You think they're going at it ?
- Sex ?
No. No. You think so ?
As much as they argue ?
Angry sex is hot.
I called the nursing home and they sent
over Wendell and Nate's medical records.
There have been a bunch of injury
reports in the past few months.
- Minor scrapes, bruises.
- So I was right to be concerned.
It's not proof of anything, but yeah,
you were right to be concerned.
- I'm gonna check this out.
- I'll go with you.
- I can handle this.
- Technically, they're my patients.
Which means, legally,
I'm as obligated to them as anyone else.
- I told you, I don't...
- Dell, I'm going.
All right.
Let's start by picking up our babies.
But with two hands.
My baby looks like Chucky.
Do you want to trade ?
- No way.
- No trading babies.
One thing we're trying to teach you
is to bond with your newborn.
I don't want to bond with Chucky.
These babies are gonna come into
your life and seem so small and fragile
that you're going to be
afraid to touch them. Don't be.
They need to be held and
they're a lot tougher than they look.
I heard a baby can eat
half a cup of sand and be fine.
That's not...
What about that baby
that fell 11 stories ?
Crawled away without a scratch.
You can't break a baby.
Yeah, you can.
From 11 stories, totally breakable.
- Who's your pediatrician ?
- You know what ?
Why don't we start with the basics ?
Um...
Changing a diaper.
Who wants to give it a try ?
- I'd like to try.
- Adam ! Our first volunteer.
Let's do this ! Dr. Pete.
OK, gentlemen, put your babies down.
Support the head.
Next time support the head.
He's probably with Nate or Arthur.
They play bingo.
Where is everybody ?
We're looking for Wendell in room 310.
Do you know where he is ?
- If he's not in his room, I don't...
- We checked his room. He's not there.
Aren't you supposed to be watching them ?
They give me five an hour not to.
If you can do better...
You think that guy was messing with us ?
I should have given him a 20.
[Distant shouting]
You hear that ?
Yeah, I hear it.
Stick it to him !
Come on ! Come on !
Stop ! Stop !
You two are going to kill each other !
Get him !
- Pa Pa !
- Stay out of this !
This is a championship match !
Don't want him making excuses
when I kick his butt.
- First time for everything.
- Except you growing a pair.
Come on, get up ! Is that all you got ?
Heart rate's down to 30.
I can barely feel his pulse. He's hurt.
Sure he is ! Come on ! Get up,
you old geezer ! Get some more of this !
No, no. Game over. He's really hurt.
We got to get him an ambulance.
I need to get him to a hospital now !
Good first day, you guys.
Check your babies at the door.
Guys, that was amazing !
I was wondering if there's any homework ?
No. No, homework.
Your energy is great for this class.
And it's OK to be nervous.
It's normal for a first-time dad.
Thanks, but I'm actually not a dad.
I'm just here for Jack.
- Jack is your partner ?
- No. No.
He's a partner at the firm,
but I'm just his assistant.
- That's why I'm taking the class.
- Jack is your boss.
- He sent his assistant.
- Second assistant, actually.
But not for long...
thanks to this class.
- You need to tell him to be here.
- No, no. I couldn't tell him that.
He'll destroy me. Or have me destroyed.
The requirement for this class
is you're going to be a dad.
So if your boss wants to take the class,
he has to attend himself.
Hey. You're still here ?
Cathleen went back for one more look
at the sperm donor books.
She's hoping something will click.
I'm going to give her this baby.
I believe you. You're determined.
But why so determined ?
Cathleen never asks for much.
I promised her a happy life.
You have to get over yourself
to do that.
Well, I wonder
how Cathleen would feel about that,
you disregarding your own feelings
to give her what she wants.
She doesn't talk about it,
but Cathleen was adopted.
I mean, she's got great parents,
but I wanted to give her what I had.
You know, my family.
They're crazy, but...
She gets to have one person in her life
that looks like her.
But what about what you want, Geoffrey ?
I tell you what. Why don't you...
go home, get some sleep,
think about it
and then start over tomorrow ?
[Woman] Dr. Shaeford to OR Three.
- How is he ?
- Well, he had a heart attack.
We're trying to re-open
his blocked vessels.
I did that ? I did that to him ?
Well, I'm sure it didn't help that you
decked him, but we can't say right now.
I don't believe this.
We didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.
- Then why did you hit each other ?
- We had to do something.
The days there,
you can't tell one from another.
Me, Nate, we were all going crazy.
That part's obvious.
Maybe your granddaddy needs a minute...
I got it. I need you to swear, OK ?
No more of this.
You think I don't know it's over ?
Dell.
- Old man fight club ?
- Oh, yeah.
Wendell was the ringleader.
Knocked the hell out of his friend
who's, actually, not doing too well now.
It's amazing what people will do
to entertain themselves.
- Come here.
- What ?
Oh.
- What are you doing ?
- Hmm.
I'm just entertaining myself.
And you. Trying, at least.
- No.
- Come here.
- Sam, no. No. No.
- What ?
- I'm not going to be your secret lover.
- Oh, come on, Naomi.
You're mad because I'm trying
to spice things up now that we're...
...whatever we are.
OK, everybody around here ?
They already went through our divorce.
Do we really have to drag them
through every detail now ?
This is not about them.
This is about things being different
the second time around.
If there is a second time around.
I need to know you're not
just going to give up this time.
Forget it. I got to go.
I have to get... I have a patient.
Listen. Wait.
Naomi, your patient's here.
- Right. I know.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, uh...
I was looking over these medical reports
from the nursing home...
What did you do to her ?
- Excuse me ?
- You heard me. What did you do ?
- I don't think it's your business.
- No, it is, OK ?
No, it's not, Dell.
I know you're upset about Wendell...
This has nothing to do with him.
Every time she walks away from you
she's miserable,
and I care about how she feels.
I care !
No, I know what you think,
but this isn't just a crush, OK ?
Maybe after so many years
you just don't see it.
You know how many women
think like that and look like that
and laugh like that and care ?
One. So far, I've met one.
She's out of my league in every way,
but I don't care. She dazzles me.
And I won't meet someone like her
when the "time is right"
because I won't. I love her, OK ?
And I guarantee you,
I wouldn't make her cry.
OK, uh, Dell, I know that you're
under a lot of stress right now,
so I'm going to pretend you didn't
just say those things about my wife.
Ex-wife.
I just wanted to let you know I'm going
to do my job, but I'm done with Dell.
- Hey, what happened ?
- Dell is a...
- Dell's a child.
- Sam, will you cut him a break ?
Oh, you have no idea.
I'm cutting him a break.
A big damn break.
We put a lock on the basement door.
They were taking bets.
The winner would walk around
all puffed up. What a thing, huh.
G-49.
Hey, Pa Pa.
[Woman] l-26.
Nate ?
Uh, the same.
The doctors put a pacemaker in.
You shouldn't blame yourself.
He didn't have to fight you.
I should have known better.
Hey.
- Still no click.
- Where's Geoffrey ?
On his way. It's not like we haven't
gone over these guys a million times.
- Hey.
- I think I've solved our problem.
I found the perfect donor.
- Mark.
- I'd like you to meet my brother.
- Your brother ?
- Hey, yeah.
Let's make a kid.
[Charlotte] So it's true.
I had to see it for myself.
You stole my dads.
You took my class roster.
I just had to refund $27,000.
You know how that looks ?
See how it feels to be someone's bitch ?
I see. This is a game to you.
- It's not for you ? Come on.
- You know what ?
We're off for tonight.
Game over.
I know this is a little close.
But Cathleen said herself,
she doesn't settle.
- She has her idea of what she wants.
- And I'm the next best thing.
Are you sure you're OK
with this, Mark ?
I mean, you'd be making a child.
I'm not having the baby.
I'm just gonna be doing the uncle thing.
It sounds simple now, but sometimes
donations from family members can...
- It gets complicated.
- Yeah.
- Mark's not complicated.
- No, I'm not complicated.
I mean, he won't think twice about this.
- You won't ?
- Nope.
I probably have a few kids out there
I don't know about already.
It's a joke.
- It's probably a joke.
- This is good, right ?
I mean, maybe not us, exactly, but,
you know, I'll be in the mix.
- Yes. It's just a little...
- I know.
And we don't have to, at all.
It's just...
No. I want to. You're right.
You'll be in the mix,
and that's what matters.
Hey, have you seen Dr. Montgomery ?
- Not lately. Did you ask at reception ?
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- You're back.
Yeah.
And you met Pete. My friend.
Yeah. Kevin Nelson. Hi.
I came to pick up
my medical report for work.
You know, they can just
e-mail that to you.
[Addison clears throat]
They can, kind of, e-mail you.
OK... I thought I might see you, and...
[man on radio] Two-two-seven,
we need you on that call back on...
- I've got to take this.
- OK. It was nice to see you again.
Please. Look, I won't be a disturbance.
And if you can just talk into the mic.
[Chuckling] Yeah. No. Sorry, dude.
What am I supposed to tell Jack ?
He'll fire me !
And after those prenatal classes with
his wife and decorating the nursery...
- How about I tell him something ?
- No.
Your wife is about to have a baby, Jack.
So put down the BlackBerry,
stop sending Adam to do your dirty work
and get over here. Got that, Jack-ass ?
OK. Using a speculum, I'm going
to insert a catheter into your uterus
where the sperm will be released.
- Mark's stuff ? It was really OK ?
- Oh, yeah. It was excellent.
Millions of little guys.
So, with any luck,
the "stuff' will swim right to your egg
and presto, you should have an embryo.
Yay !
All right. And here we go.
No !
I can't have Mark inside me, this
brother sperm, traveling to my uterus.
- I know.
- Honestly, I love your brother but...
- He's kind of a jerk.
- He's kind of a jerk !
- Why would you even suggest this ?
- I'm trying here, OK ?
Listen, both of you, this isn't
right for you. And that's OK.
I don't want anybody's baby but yours.
I'm sorry.
So what do we do ?
Just give up ? Not have a kid ?
I just can't do this. I can't.
There's got to be another way.
Please.
Please help us make our baby.
I thought that
the brother was our solution.
No, they were right. He's a jerk.
I was momentarily attracted to him,
so he must be.
The sweet brother can't make babies.
What does that say
about natural selection ?
What were his levels ?
FSH and prolactin
were within normal limits.
- How about testosterone ?
- Borderline. Borderline low.
But not non-existent.
There might be a way.
And if there is, we should find it.
Screw natural selection.
Gentlemen, prepare
to have your lives transformed.
I present to you : Diaper B. Gone.
I'm Jack Grossman.
Which one of you jerks
called me a jackass ?
That would be me.
Your name's Jack,
and you were acting like an ass.
You don't know anything about me,
my wife, my work, my life.
- Nothing.
- He was just trying to help.
I know that you pawned off a class
that could help save your baby's life.
- You think you're clever ?
- You're a tough guy.
But the tough guy act ?
It's not gonna work with being a father.
I'm doing this my way. My wife's gonna
stay home with our kid and I'm...
- Your wife is not there to do your job.
- You can't check out.
You got to show up.
In fact, you have got to screw things up
before you even have the first clue...
How many of you guys have figured out
what it means to be a father ?
I don't know much,
but I know more than this guy.
This kid is coming
whether you're ready for it or not.
You think I don't know that ?
You think it doesn't
keep me up at night ?
All I want for that kid
is to be safe and to be happy.
I'm doing everything
that I know how to do.
I believe you. Now do more.
You came here to yell at a pediatrician,
so don't tell me you don't care enough.
I got this.
I'm not fired ?
No. But there's no way
you're watching me do this.
Well, come on, let's show this guy
how to rock this, right ? Come on !
Hey, yeah. Show him how it's done.
So did Officer Manly make a move ?
[Sighing]
- You really want to hear about this ?
- This is what friends do. Right ?
No sex talk. That's off-limits.
I don't usually talk about it.
I'm more of a "do it" guy.
Yeah, good to know.
And the officer
did not get a chance to "move."
- My man choices lately...
- Have been me ?
And Trunk.
Say yes.
It's that simple ?
It's not your fault
there've been misfires.
Dating is a numbers game. Get out there
as much as you can and see what works.
Volume dating. That's your philosophy ?
Most of the time you're not
gonna find the right fit.
Sometimes it's the last person
you think who makes you happy.
And, yeah, I'm out there.
Good. Good advice. For us.
I got to go take care of
Cathleen and Geoffrey.
So we think we found something.
It's a new procedure
called Testicular Sperm Extraction.
- OK. What's that ?
- Sperm search and rescue.
We go inside the testicle
to look for a few viable sperm
which we implant
into Cathleen's eggs to make a child.
- You can do that ?
- Yes.
We use a surgical microscope
to isolate sperm producing tissue.
If we find even one sperm,
we have a shot.
This is so frigging cool !
It's like Rambo time.
- Inside my testicles.
- Yes.
Yeah.
I know why you've been avoiding me.
- What ?
- It's...
I... [sighs] owe you an apology.
- You do ?
- Yes.
I was stupid to think we could have
unemotional sex, or attempted sex.
We care about each other.
We're friends.
Friends with benefits never works.
I was wrong.
- Thank you.
- So it was the sex ?
- That's why you've been avoiding me ?
- It was the sex.
Good. So we're good ?
- We're good.
- Good.
OK, Geoffrey,
once we get inside, you may feel
a slight pulling or discomfort.
If it gets too bad we can stop.
And then, if Dr. Montgomery locates
any sperm, I'll extract Cathleen's eggs.
You can do this, honey.
I love you, babe.
OK. On three.
One... two... three.
OK. I'm going inside.
Taking a look around.
Trying to find that one swimmer.
What if she doesn't find anything ?
- What if there's nothing there ?
- I love you no matter what.
What's going on ?
The hospital just called.
I've got to go get my... Wendell.
Nate's not going to make it.
Anything ?
No, not...
Wait. What's that ?
I have one ? You found it ?
Maybe. I just need to grab it.
Come on, you bastard !
Sorry.
Got it.
- You did ?
- Hold on a minute. We're checking.
Yeah. There you go.
- That's my kid.
- That's your kid.
[ ? Brendan James : The Sun Will Rise]
Nate was right about his heart.
It was shot.
- It wasn't me ?
- No. No.
He was living on borrowed time.
I'm sorry.
I know he was your friend.
Nate lost his wife too.
And then, he was at the home.
You want to know why we fight ?
I'll tell you why.
On those days, you wake up thinking,
"Today something happens
besides this death march."
Our lives, they change.
Fair enough, we're old.
But they don't have to be over.
Damn, it felt good.
To fight.
I hate bingo.
So did Nate.
Your grandma, she was what I lived for.
You'll see, when you're like me.
You'll wish you'd fought more
your whole life.
You'll miss caring
that much about anything.
I think we just made a baby.
Hey. You want to grab a bite ?
I can come to your house.
Get a pizza, movie.
- I have plans, actually.
- Oh, OK.
- But we're good ?
- We're good. Good.
- You have a girlfriend.
- What ?
No. You have no idea how... No.
Cooper, if this is why
you've been avoiding me, don't.
I'm happy for you. I am.
God, one of us has to act
like a grown-up.
I'm hardly...
I still want to hang out with you.
It's not a big thing.
Exactly. So don't be a freak.
Right. You're right.
Go.
Don't stand her up.
Relax. Give that one guy
a chance to settle in.
I'm going to be a big old lump.
- Thanks for everything.
- Yeah.
Is it too soon to feel pregnant ?
Maybe just a little. Just...
- Taking it easy.
- Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I heard you did a great job in there.
- Yeah. God, those two ?
They make you think
it's worth slugging it out.
If you can find somebody
that makes you feel half that good.
Thank you for your advice earlier.
You're welcome.
Who kicked your dog ?
I think I'm helping some other guy
win over Addison.
Good job.
It'd be weird
to punch him out now, right ?
Yeah. A little bit.
[ ? Sonya Kitchell :
Can't Get You Out Of My Mind]
[Charlotte gasping]
You said you weren't coming over.
And then...
- That's "game over ?"
- Mm-hmm.
Sex is best when you feel like
you want to kill the other person.
You stole my dads.
Yeah. And that makes me a bad guy.
Yeah, a bad, dirty cop kind of guy.
- A little bit.
- Mm-hmm.
So are we dating ?
Lf...
...dirty sex on a regular basis
is dating, then yeah.
OK. Good.
Does that mean I get to be on top ?
Never.
[Chuckles]
- Oh. Hi, Dell. What is...
- Here.
Oh. Thank you.
I don't have it all together, OK ?
But I'm not a kid.
I'm a man who loves you.
Who's going to fight for you.
Hey. Have you seen Addison ? I need to...
OK ? I don't care.
Let everybody know.
What was that ?
He's fighting for her.
She's worth it.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I am here to see Officer Nelson.
Kevin Nelson.
- I'm a friend.
- Let's see if I can find him.
[Rings doorbell]
Addison ?