Private Practice (2007–2013): Season 1, Episode 7 - In Which Sam Gets Taken for a Ride - full transcript
Sam gets called to a convenience store were he ends up delivering the child of the woman who tried to rob the store. Addison and Naomi treat a patient who doesn't want her little boy because her husband goofs off with their other three boys too much. Addison and Pete treat a patient whose husband died.
[ ? Fine Young Cannibals : Good Thing]
Hey.
- What ?
- You kissed me.
And then you walked away.
- Messes with your head, huh ?
- So it was a revenge kiss.
No, no. Not intentionally.
But then watching you
get all swirly since then ?
It's kind of gratifying.
[Addison moans]
I think we should stop kissing.
[Addison sighs]
Oh.
I mean, come on. What are we, 12 ?
No, we definitely are not.
Which is why I do not
want to be just another notch
in your acupuncture table.
I want more.
What do you say we just see how it goes ?
Tonight.
I can work with that.
We... were just talking about a case.
She needed a consult on the...
Locked in the Dell vault. All right ?
Patients are here.
- We are in the Dell vault.
- Locked in the Dell vault.
Who keeps sticking bananas
in the refrigerator ?
I... um, that would be me.
Bananas need the climate of the equator.
Never stick bananas in the refrigerator.
- Susan McCullough's on her way in.
- How'd she sound ?
I believe her exact words were,
"You guys better not screw this up."
Blocking the toaster. Hello ?
- That toast needs to happen now.
- Somebody needs to get...
- Don't say it.
- I wasn't going to say "laid."
[Addison] So we're
inducing Susan today, right ?
Yes. It is very important to her
that we follow her labor plan.
That's Pete's relaxation techniques,
the birthing tub...
Honestly, not a big fan of the tub.
There's fluids in there.
Blood, uterine tissue,
sometimes fecal matter.
OK. You made me think about it.
They're big and wet
and difficult to work with.
They don't use
those things in hospitals.
She's my patient.
We'll do it the way she wants.
I'm not really comfortable
being a birth coach.
- That's not what I do.
- Really ? Because...
Susan was widowed
a few months into her pregnancy.
Her husband Jason was a cop.
He was killed on duty.
Oh, that's...
She's had panic attacks and
that would be a problem during a birth.
She doesn't have family,
so she's on her own.
- I promised her we'd take care of her.
- OK. OK.
I'll have Dell go ahead
and prepare the bath tub.
[Violet groans]
[Telephone ringing]
- Yeah.
- [woman] Dr. Bennett, it's Sara Hill.
Hey, Sara, how you doing ?
Is there any chance
you could do a house call now ?
I kind of hurt my leg.
I'm afraid it might get worse.
A lot worse.
OK. I guess I can run over there
and check it out.
The address is 5600 Alverson.
And can you hurry ?
So you moved away from the marina, huh ?
[Call disconnects]
Alverson. Hello ?
OK. Uh, I'm going to need
the lights dimmed.
And we can put
the birthing ball right here.
- Where's the music I asked for ?
- I have it.
Why don't you relax ?
We'll get everything taken care of.
I know.
Got a plan and we're following it.
As we discussed,
not everything is under our control.
- Babies have plans of their own.
- I'm prepared.
I wrote down all the contingencies.
Dr. Montgomery, it's baby day.
Hi, Susan. As soon as Pete
does his relaxation therapy,
- I will be back to...
- Administer the Pitocin
after you remove
the prostaglandin insert.
- That's exactly right.
- OK. So let's do this.
- Dad, look at this.
- Oh, hey ! [groans]
- Hey, Malcolm, you got a game today ?
- Uh-huh.
- I caught a fly in the toilet !
- You did ? No way. Really ? Good work.
Patrick, can you keep them...
- Todd ! Spider web, three o'clock.
- Come on ! Give it back !
- Hey, how are you doing ?
- I'm hanging in.
Her due date is around the corner
and it's time for a checkup.
- You're having a girl.
- It's about time. I'm so excited.
- Danny !
- Danny ! Give Mal back his mitt.
- I'll show you back. Come on.
- OK.
All right, team ! Let's go ! Come on !
OK. The baby's heartbeat looks good.
Good.
This is my fourth baby
so I should know the drill.
Come on, Mom, hurry up.
I got to go to the game.
Todd. Todd. Todd. Honey, not in here.
- Just a minute and then we'll go.
- Yah !
Ashley, you may be here
longer than you think.
You're in labor.
You're having this baby now.
[Kids groan]
You're leaving ?
Sara Hill wants me
to drop by her place. A leg injury.
What about your patients ?
I moved some things. I like getting air.
I know going off schedule is something
that's hard for you to grasp...
I can grasp it just fine, thank you.
- Really ?
- Really.
- [Elevator dings]
- Go. Enjoy.
- Where's he going ?
- House call.
Whatever.
We need to do something about Pete.
Does he know
what he's doing with Addison ?
- What is he doing with Addison ?
- Oh, no. Did they ?
- It's imminent.
- This is so none of my business.
It's none of my business, either.
Listen, Pete already proved
he shouldn't date at work.
Maybe Addison decided to enjoy herself.
Men do it all the time.
- Right. That's fine.
- It's empowering for women, actually.
Causal sex. It can be.
As long as the boundaries are clear.
And I'm very, very good
with boundaries. Aren't I ?
Not really, no.
But you're looking right through me.
I'm guessing you're not
hearing a word I'm saying.
5600 Alverson.
This can't be right.
Sara.
It's him. Thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
- I'm so sorry.
Uh, are you OK ? Your leg...
I didn't call you here for me.
I called you here for him.
For...
- Sara, what's going on ?
- [Man] It's my leg.
- What happened to you ?
- She shot me.
You shot him ?
Not her. Me. I shot him.
OK.
Fix him. You're a doctor, right ?
She said you were a doctor.
You got to fix him.
Is, uh... Is everybody else OK ?
Everyone else is fine. Except for her.
She's crazy ! She shot me !
It was an accident ! I'm sorry !
I said I was sorry !
OK, everybody. Let's be calm. Sara.
She wanted a doctor. You're the only one
I know that makes house calls.
- After you called the police ?
- She didn't want the police.
Of course not. Because she's crazy !
[Elevator dings]
I'm Officer Kevin Nelson. I'm here
for Susan McCullough's delivery.
- She expecting you ?
- No. I'm just here to support Susan.
She said she didn't want anybody,
but I wanted to come down
in case she changed her mind.
- I'll let her know.
- Thank you.
- You waiting to see a doctor ?
- I'm here to support a friend.
I'm a police officer. Kevin Nelson.
Officer Kevin Nelson.
Addison Montgomery.
Dr. Addison Montgomery.
Nice to meet you, doctor.
OK.
There's an Officer Kevin Nelson
here for you.
Are you serious ?
Uh...
He was Jason's partner.
That's nice of him to come check on you.
It is, but he's going to get emotional,
turn this into a memorial for Jason.
I don't want that.
Jason wouldn't have wanted that.
This should be about the baby.
You just tell him I'm fine.
He can go back to work.
- Are you OK ?
- Um...
Yeah, I just... I feel a little anxious.
He shouldn't be here.
I didn't want to think about it. God.
Remember the visualizations
we worked on ?
Focus on those images.
OK ?
We're following the plan.
Everything's right on schedule.
OK. I'm fine.
Totally fine.
When you have sex, when there's no
romantic entanglement, which is never...
Yes, thank you.
- Now I'm an emotional dwarf ?
- No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Is it about that I said you needed to
get laid, which I didn't say verbally.
No, listen. Listen.
I've been thinking about this.
When you do it, it's just
no-nonsense, uncomplicated sex, right ?
Just simple, stress-reducing, fun.
That's the idea.
What, are you asking me
to have sex with you ?
Yeah. Why not ? You and me.
Friends with benefits. Tonight.
I mean, you're right. I am stressed out
and I just need some touch.
And you're perfect because unemotional
sex is the only kind you have.
Shh.
- What time should I come over ?
- Really ?
Really.
- Cooper, can you take Sam's 11 :30 ?
- I'm getting laid tonight.
Congratulations. What's her screen name ?
No. Me and Violet.
- What ?
- Friends with benefits. Her idea.
No strings. No expectations.
No downside.
- That's smart ?
- Glass house, stone thrower.
You remember the last time
you dated a doctor in this practice ?
Now you and Addison
have this little weird thing.
- I can make it work.
- Based on what ?
"Addison you moved
here because I kissed you."
"Pete, you fake doctor.
Your touch heals."
You think things are going to be
the same after you've seen her naked ?
I think things are gonna be better
because I will have seen her naked.
I'm getting laid.
[Whistling]
Ashley, this is Dr. Bennett.
Things are busy today, so
she's going to be monitoring your case.
Maybe mommy would like
some time alone.
We can have someone watch your kids
if you want to stay with your wife.
- I get queasy during these things.
- He'll be more trouble than good.
- Take the boys to the lobby.
- What am I supposed to do with them ?
Well, I don't know, honey.
Just occupy them.
Come on, guys. Ready ?
Here you go. Let's go. Come on.
- Bye, sweetie.
- [Boy screams]
Naomi ? Addison ? We have a situation.
I told them that Susan said no, but
then a bunch more of them showed up.
[Men murmuring]
What's going on ?
Susan doesn't want anybody in there,
but she's part of our family
and we're not going
to leave one of our own alone.
The guys coming off shift,
they want to be here for her.
Now I'm not comfortable
with this whole birthing myself,
but Keith here,
he's got two kids, another on the way.
So he's good to go in.
I don't think
Susan is going to change her mind.
Susan, she's just a kid.
Yeah, but she needs
to do this her own way.
All right.
Well, we'll wait here. We're staying.
How do you feel ?
How do you think ?
I feel like I got shot.
- [Knocking]
- We're closed !
- [Groaning]
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that.
It's been a while since
I've had to deal with a bullet wound.
He's more of a mindlbody doctor.
- Dr. Feel Good ?
- Yeah. Hi. Hello.
MindlBody ? I need a doctor.
- Do you even know what you're doing ?
- I know exactly what I'm doing.
- It's a good color, strong pulse.
- [Woman] I need a doctor !
I am a doctor.
The bullet missed the artery,
probably just nicked the muscle.
I need a doctor for me.
My water just broke.
- What's taking so long ?
- OK. All right. Just take this.
- Put it there and apply pressure.
- You're helping her ?
Shut up ! It's a flesh wound.
You're gonna be fine.
OK, ma'am.
You're in labor, all right ?
- Should try to get you to a hospital.
- No !
OK. OK.
Well, then let me just call 911.
No ! No cops ! No 911 !
You're delivering this baby,
and you're doing it now !
OK.
OK. OK, if you don't mind,
I'm just going to make one quick call.
I said no cops !
Don't try anything ! I said no cops !
I want to call a colleague so I can
give you the help that you need.
Please.
- You dial and you hand me the phone.
- OK. I'm dialing. You see ?
All right.
Don't try and take the gun,
that's how I got shot.
- OK.
- OK.
Hey, Naomi, it's Sam.
I need your help.
I'm about to deliver a baby.
- I thought you were on a house call ?
- I am. Well, I was.
But then I ran into a really nice lady
and she is in labor.
Uh, hold on, Sam.
Monitor Ashley Minnehan's contractions
and tell me the second
she's dilated to four centimeters.
Really ? A birth ?
Bring me in
as soon as she's ready to go.
- Yeah. OK. Great.
- OK ? Understand ?
- Yeah !
- All right.
Where are you ?
I don't have time to talk.
So if we could just get to it...
OK. Fine. Is she fully dilated ?
Just a minute.
- I'm here to monitor your contractions.
- All right.
Uh, any questions or concerns ?
Anything I can do to help ?
Oh, no. Nah, I've done three of these.
I just say a little prayer and go.
And you just sit there and catch
the baby like it's a football, OK ?
Oh.
Can I just say, it's a good thing that
Pete is getting me now because I am hot.
I am on fuego.
This place is crawling with cops and
the cute one over there is totally...
What ?
Sam just called. He's delivering a baby.
He is ? What's with all the births today ?
It's like Babypalooza.
How does he get into these things ?
- I should just mind my own business.
- About Sam ?
Yeah, about Sam.
And about you "on fuego."
And Pete. You all just leap.
And you are a thinker.
So what do you think ?
About me and Pete ? Come on, Nai.
You're my friend.
OK. Fine.
You say you want change
and you pick Pete ?
What, a cute doctor boy with nice eyes ?
That's not change. That's your MO.
You're just rushing into something new.
I'm not.
I'm making a decision, uh, to take
a chance on something that feels right.
- Because you're afraid to be alone.
- What if I am ?
Surprise, Naomi.
I'm susceptible to the human condition.
Look, there are other men.
There are men in uniform
that I can not be alone with right now.
I did not pick Pete because I'm
desperate and lonely. Pete is my choice.
[Sighing]
You asked.
- [Moaning]
- Are you OK ?
- The baby's coming now.
- What ?
- No. Are you sure ? I mean...
- It's coming.
You have to catch the baby.
OK.
No, no. I can't do this.
I have to call Naomi.
Now would be a good time.
Naomi.
Your contractions
are five minutes apart.
So it won't be too much longer.
I'm ready.
You really are, Susan.
You are totally prepared for this.
Oh, God.
Today. My son's birthday is today.
- What are you doing ?
- Timing your contractions.
- You've been having pain long ?
- Since I got up.
What were you thinking ?
That I need to rob a convenience store
because I have no money
for diapers or food
or to put a roof over my baby's head !
That's not a reason ! Normal people
don't hold up stores, Kelly !
Kelly ? So you two
didn't just meet today, did you ?
- That's my baby you're delivering.
- [Groaning] OK, OK, OK.
- Dell.
- It just happened.
That was the fastest delivery
I've ever seen !
[Naomi] OK. All right.
First, what we're going to do is,
we're going to cut the umbilical cord.
All right. See, right here.
See ? About half an inch.
There we go. Yeah.
And keep the baby low for me.
- There you go. All right. There you go.
- How is she ?
Oh, she's great. She's great.
She's... Oh ! She's a boy.
Congratulations. It's a boy !
No ! You shove that boy back up there
and pull out a girl !
[Baby wailing]
One girl. Is that too much to ask ?
Your ultrasound was quite a while ago
and misinterpretations can happen
that early on.
I bought a little pink dress with
some pink shoes for a little pink girl.
And I'm not leaving
until I get some pinkness !
Kelly, I need you
to take slow, deep breaths.
Babies take money, Damon !
You think I wasn't going to turn you in ?
You think I'd let you rob
the place I work and not turn you in ?
- You owe me !
- You're crazy !
I'm not crazy, I'm hormonal.
Tell him I'm hormonal.
I think that, maybe,
there's a new word for what you are.
I couldn't raise this baby on my own !
You wouldn't give me any money,
so I had to come and take it !
- You left me with nothing !
- Why do you think I took this job ?
I told you
I'm going to take care of this baby.
- But you left me.
- Yes, I left you !
But I won't leave our baby. Let me help.
I have to just say,
it sounds like Damon's an OK guy,
- so maybe you should...
- Stay back ! Stay back !
- OK, everybody stop ! Just stop.
- [Groaning]
We... are going to listen
to the lady with the gun.
- I can't take it.
- Does everybody understand ?
Keep taking those long,
slow, deep breaths, OK ?
[Breathes deeply]
[Sam] There we go. There we go.
Ashley Minnehan will not
bond with this baby.
She was expecting a girl.
And she's at risk
for postpartum depression.
- Can you talk to her ?
- Sure.
Let me make sure
Susan's ready for me to go.
- My place, 8 :00.
- Done.
I can't raise four boys on my own.
Well, you have your husband.
He can help.
Yeah, sure. Yesterday he taught the boys
how to burp the national anthem.
Not the right help.
I'm the only one
who puts batteries in the smoke alarm.
The one who puts the cover
on the swimming pool at night.
Have you tried talking to Patrick ?
Oh, he says I'm just being silly
because nothing bad ever happens.
But that's only because
I make sure nothing bad ever happens.
Ashley, you are a great mom.
The boys like him better than me
because he plays with them.
I just wanted one girl,
so she could be mine.
And then I wouldn't care so much
about having to do it all myself.
Well, maybe you have another boy
for a reason.
Maybe it's because you're a great mom.
And you're going to raise your boys
to be good men.
And the world needs good men.
I want a girl !
Whoa.
- I've been kind of a pain in the ass.
- No, you haven't.
Yes I have. All my rules.
But things work out better
when I don't let my mind wander.
You have nothing to apologize for.
You can't really... I mean...
There's no plan
for doing this alone, is there ?
Look, there's a room full of Jason's
friends from the force here for you.
You could bring someone in.
They don't get how lonely it is
since he died.
Probably not.
I lost my wife a while ago.
I'm sorry.
It gets better.
Does it really get better ?
Or do you just bury it deeper ?
I don't know.
Maybe it depends on how you left things.
They were good.
He was so excited about this baby.
Hold on to that.
Oh ! Oh !
- Here comes another one !
- OK.
Getting up ?
- OK. You're doing good.
- Breathe.
[Kelly screams]
That's it. That's it. That's good.
Just like that, Kelly. Thanks.
Ow ! Oh, God !
You may be fully dilated.
- There you go.
- Is the baby OK ?
Make it stop ! Make it stop, Dr. Phil !
It's not Phil. It's "feel."
Feel. Like "feel good."
- OK. Never mind.
- I want an epidural !
Yeah, well,
we're in a convenience store, so...
- Oh, God !
- She's in pain ! Do something !
[Kelly breathing deeply]
All right. Kelly, listen to me.
All right, your mind
is a very powerful healing tool.
So, if you can relax your mind,
you'll be able to relax your body.
You understand what I'm saying ?
Try to relax your mind.
I just wanted a home to raise my baby,
and now I ruined everything.
- You're telling me to relax my mind ?
- Ow !
[Groaning]
Oh !
OK. Good.
You're ready to start pushing.
Nice and easy.
- I dropped it. I dropped the list.
- That's all right. We know what to do.
I should have laminated it.
Why didn't I think of that ?
- We don't need it.
- I need it. I need to get out of here.
Susan, stay where you are.
Grab the handles if you need support.
- Try to relax. Relax.
- No, I can't.
- I can't push.
- Yes, you can. The baby's coming.
No ! Something's wrong, I can feel it.
Nothing is wrong.
You're doing great.
Where the hell is Jason ?
- You're in control. Just stay with it.
- No !
He's supposed to be here !
Where is he ?
[ ? Sia : You Have Been Loved]
OK. Susan.
Susan, this little baby is ready
to come right now. We are ready.
Just like you planned.
No. No. He's...
Oh, my God !
- Try to breathe.
- My Jason.
He's dead ! He's dead !
Dead ! He's really dead !
OK. Susan.
Susan, when you hyperventilate,
you lower the baby's heart rate.
If we don't start pushing now,
there's a chance you will lose the baby.
- Do you understand ?
- I can't. I can't.
I didn't want to be alone !
This wasn't my choice !
No, I chose Jason ! I didn't want this !
Susan. Susan.
Susan, honey. Listen to me.
You're not alone. OK ?
I am right here with you. OK ?
Now, you're not alone
and we're going to push.
Just keep breathing.
Push.
[Screaming]
Good girl. Good. Good.
Good. Good. You're doing great !
Now let's bring your son out here, OK ?
All right.
Ready ?
Oh, God ! Please, please,
please, please, please ! Oh, God !
- I can help.
- You stay back !
- You want to kill me ? Then kill me !
- No, no. We don't have to go there.
- We don't have to go there.
- I'm not gonna leave our baby !
Hey, man ! Sit down, sit down.
Kelly. I've got news for you.
You tried to rob
a convenience store today.
When this is all done, you're going
to have to answer to the cops.
And they're probably going to try
and take your baby away from you.
But I think that, maybe, you're lucky
because your baby's father,
he really wants
to take care of your child.
No, he left me.
If you want what's best for your baby,
you got to put down that gun.
I can't. You'll call the cops.
I'm not going to call the cops.
You're going to have to trust me.
Can you trust me ?
All right, put down the gun.
OK. Now let's get this baby out.
- You didn't call the cops.
- No.
I didn't call the cops.
- All right.
- [Screaming]
Time to see my new boy ?
How awesome is that ?
Another little dude !
He's with the nurse right now
getting cleaned up.
Is something wrong ?
- You need to grow up.
- I'm sorry ? You don't...
Patrick, he, uh, he's right. Um...
- You need to help out around the house.
- I help ! I hang with the boys !
Upside down ! Out windows !
That's not any help !
Honey ?
Ashley really needs you to
not play so much. Do more parenting.
You know what ?
You need to grow up too.
Me ? What did I do ?
You knew that the odds
of having a girl were 50l50.
You decided to populate,
and that boy is yours.
You get what you get
and you don't get upset.
Or I can introduce you
to one of the many families I treat
who can't even have a child. All right ?
All right.
I'm sorry.
Are you two ready to see
that beautiful baby boy I delivered ?
We're ready.
That's good. That's real good, Kelly.
That's...
What ? What is it ?
Uh... OK. You just hang tight, Kelly.
Hang tight. You're doing real good.
Yeah, there's a problem. The head
is out, but the baby's not delivering.
That's shoulder dystocia.
You have to release that shoulder
or she's gonna lose the baby.
You're gonna need forceps,
anesthetic and make sure...
I don't have equipment.
No anesthetic. I don't have anything.
- Where are you ?
- Don't ask questions.
- Just tell me how to fix this fast.
- OK, Sam.
You need to reach in and rotate
the baby's shoulder counter-clockwise.
- Right now she's probably...
- [Kelly screams]
- I got to help her.
- [call disconnects]
- OK, listen to me.
- OK.
I'm gonna have to
rotate this baby myself.
- Gonna what ?
- We have to do this now.
I'm gonna count to three then reach in.
- Now this is going to hurt.
- No ! I can't !
- No, I can't ! I can't !
- Yes, you can. Stay with me.
All right ? You got this ! Come on !
- OK.
- You ready ? OK. Come on.
Almost there, Susan.
We're right here.
You're so close. Come on.
OK. OK, I almost got it.
Oh, my God ! Oh, my God !
Here we go. I got it. All right.
Now the baby's in position.
Go on, push now.
- God, it hurts ! It hurts !
- You can do it. Take my hand.
Come on. Here we go. We can do this.
Here we go. Here we go.
One more big push, Susan.
Push ! This is the final stretch.
It's the last one.
- Come on !
- No.
One more big push
and you'll have a new son.
Come on, please.
Don't give up on me now, Kelly. Push !
- Push ! Push it out now.
- OK.
Ready ?
[ ? Year Of The Monkey :
You'll Come Around]
[Indistinct chattering]
Meet the newest addition to Station 422.
Jason McCullough, Jr.
Eight pounds, ten ounces.
[Men chuckling]
- Is she OK ?
- Yeah, she looks good.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Watch the head.
OK, Um...
I got to make this call.
- To the cops ?
- Yeah. To the cops.
They're going to come and get you.
OK.
All right.
[Baby fussing]
Did Officer Nelson see him ? The guys ?
Yeah, they saw him.
- Good. Good.
- You did great.
Thank you for everything.
- His face is all squished.
- Squished-face !
Hey ! Get off your mom.
Give her a break. Now.
Hey. Hey.
Uh...
So what time tonight ?
- Well, my place, 8 :00.
- Great.
- It's a date at eight.
- It's not a date, Dr. Seuss.
It's sex.
[Elevator dings]
Your help with Susan,
it means a lot to me, to all of us.
I'm glad to help.
Well, thank you, Dr. Montgomery.
Addison.
Addison, I was wondering
if you would be interested
in having a drink with me tonight.
Oh. I, uh...
That's, um... very nice of you.
I already have plans.
[Elevator dings]
Maybe another time.
But thank you again.
Thank you.
I'm going to take my clothes off now.
- I love that family. Don't you ?
- Take your clothes off, Cooper.
I want a big family like that.
A whole bunch of kids.
All the rugrats, you know ?
I want to be a dad.
- I want to be a...
- I'm trying to have sex.
I don't really want to talk about
kids or big families.
Sorry.
You're...
- Wow, you're naked.
- It makes sex easier.
I've never seen you naked.
In the office you have clothes on.
Well, yeah, I try to be a professional.
Rip off the Band-Aid, Coop. I did.
Yeah. I can't.
- You have to. You've seen me naked.
- I know and you're... beautiful.
I'm sorry.
I thought I could, but...
You can't reject me.
You have low standards. No standards !
- It's different.
- No !
I am offering you
uncomplicated, unemotional sex.
No, you're not some girl
from the Internet.
With you it doesn't mean nothing.
It never will.
All right. Get out.
Damn it.
[ ? Terra Naomi : Say It's Possible]
[Doorbell rings]
Hi.
OK. Hi. Uh...
I came to talk to Sam, he wasn't home.
I saw you... that you were alone.
No, it's fine. Come in.
- Pete said you had a date.
- We do. We did.
An hour ago we did.
[Sighs] Damn it.
He stood me up.
He actually... stood me up.
If it helps,
I was colossally stupid today.
I mean, colossally, with Violet.
Friends with benefits.
She wanted us to...
...you know... together.
- And ?
I couldn't.
No benefits. I just...
...couldn't mess with it. Stupid.
- I think I win that award today.
- No, I am the most stupidest.
Stupider. Or more stupid.
Stupid-i-est.
Let's call it a tie.
Would you like to order some pizza
and get really fat with me ?
Yes. Please.
[Knock on door]
Cooper. Not now.
I can't...
- Pete.
- Sorry it's so late.
What's wrong ?
When she died,
Anna and I had been trying.
To have a baby ?
Yeah.
Hey. You're here late.
My God. Sam, are you all right ?
What happened ?
Uh, she had a healthy baby girl
thanks to you.
I don't understand.
How do you get those bruises
delivering a baby ?
Oh, yeah. The mom, she hit me.
She hit you ?
- With a gun.
- With her what ?
It was sort of like a hostage situation.
- I didn't mention that on the phone ?
- No.
No, you did not mention that
to me on the phone !
- I didn't want you to worry.
- God, Sam ! You could've been hurt !
- No.
- You... You could've...
- I'm fine. Everything's fine.
- Everything is not fine, Sam !
Everything is very, very not fine !
You got beaten up by a pregnant lady !
This is what happens
when you do things without thinking !
- I didn't...
- I am sick of it.
I'm sick and tired of being the only
person in this practice who thinks !
Who thinks and thinks and...
[Naomi gasps]
Hey.
- What ?
- You kissed me.
And then you walked away.
- Messes with your head, huh ?
- So it was a revenge kiss.
No, no. Not intentionally.
But then watching you
get all swirly since then ?
It's kind of gratifying.
[Addison moans]
I think we should stop kissing.
[Addison sighs]
Oh.
I mean, come on. What are we, 12 ?
No, we definitely are not.
Which is why I do not
want to be just another notch
in your acupuncture table.
I want more.
What do you say we just see how it goes ?
Tonight.
I can work with that.
We... were just talking about a case.
She needed a consult on the...
Locked in the Dell vault. All right ?
Patients are here.
- We are in the Dell vault.
- Locked in the Dell vault.
Who keeps sticking bananas
in the refrigerator ?
I... um, that would be me.
Bananas need the climate of the equator.
Never stick bananas in the refrigerator.
- Susan McCullough's on her way in.
- How'd she sound ?
I believe her exact words were,
"You guys better not screw this up."
Blocking the toaster. Hello ?
- That toast needs to happen now.
- Somebody needs to get...
- Don't say it.
- I wasn't going to say "laid."
[Addison] So we're
inducing Susan today, right ?
Yes. It is very important to her
that we follow her labor plan.
That's Pete's relaxation techniques,
the birthing tub...
Honestly, not a big fan of the tub.
There's fluids in there.
Blood, uterine tissue,
sometimes fecal matter.
OK. You made me think about it.
They're big and wet
and difficult to work with.
They don't use
those things in hospitals.
She's my patient.
We'll do it the way she wants.
I'm not really comfortable
being a birth coach.
- That's not what I do.
- Really ? Because...
Susan was widowed
a few months into her pregnancy.
Her husband Jason was a cop.
He was killed on duty.
Oh, that's...
She's had panic attacks and
that would be a problem during a birth.
She doesn't have family,
so she's on her own.
- I promised her we'd take care of her.
- OK. OK.
I'll have Dell go ahead
and prepare the bath tub.
[Violet groans]
[Telephone ringing]
- Yeah.
- [woman] Dr. Bennett, it's Sara Hill.
Hey, Sara, how you doing ?
Is there any chance
you could do a house call now ?
I kind of hurt my leg.
I'm afraid it might get worse.
A lot worse.
OK. I guess I can run over there
and check it out.
The address is 5600 Alverson.
And can you hurry ?
So you moved away from the marina, huh ?
[Call disconnects]
Alverson. Hello ?
OK. Uh, I'm going to need
the lights dimmed.
And we can put
the birthing ball right here.
- Where's the music I asked for ?
- I have it.
Why don't you relax ?
We'll get everything taken care of.
I know.
Got a plan and we're following it.
As we discussed,
not everything is under our control.
- Babies have plans of their own.
- I'm prepared.
I wrote down all the contingencies.
Dr. Montgomery, it's baby day.
Hi, Susan. As soon as Pete
does his relaxation therapy,
- I will be back to...
- Administer the Pitocin
after you remove
the prostaglandin insert.
- That's exactly right.
- OK. So let's do this.
- Dad, look at this.
- Oh, hey ! [groans]
- Hey, Malcolm, you got a game today ?
- Uh-huh.
- I caught a fly in the toilet !
- You did ? No way. Really ? Good work.
Patrick, can you keep them...
- Todd ! Spider web, three o'clock.
- Come on ! Give it back !
- Hey, how are you doing ?
- I'm hanging in.
Her due date is around the corner
and it's time for a checkup.
- You're having a girl.
- It's about time. I'm so excited.
- Danny !
- Danny ! Give Mal back his mitt.
- I'll show you back. Come on.
- OK.
All right, team ! Let's go ! Come on !
OK. The baby's heartbeat looks good.
Good.
This is my fourth baby
so I should know the drill.
Come on, Mom, hurry up.
I got to go to the game.
Todd. Todd. Todd. Honey, not in here.
- Just a minute and then we'll go.
- Yah !
Ashley, you may be here
longer than you think.
You're in labor.
You're having this baby now.
[Kids groan]
You're leaving ?
Sara Hill wants me
to drop by her place. A leg injury.
What about your patients ?
I moved some things. I like getting air.
I know going off schedule is something
that's hard for you to grasp...
I can grasp it just fine, thank you.
- Really ?
- Really.
- [Elevator dings]
- Go. Enjoy.
- Where's he going ?
- House call.
Whatever.
We need to do something about Pete.
Does he know
what he's doing with Addison ?
- What is he doing with Addison ?
- Oh, no. Did they ?
- It's imminent.
- This is so none of my business.
It's none of my business, either.
Listen, Pete already proved
he shouldn't date at work.
Maybe Addison decided to enjoy herself.
Men do it all the time.
- Right. That's fine.
- It's empowering for women, actually.
Causal sex. It can be.
As long as the boundaries are clear.
And I'm very, very good
with boundaries. Aren't I ?
Not really, no.
But you're looking right through me.
I'm guessing you're not
hearing a word I'm saying.
5600 Alverson.
This can't be right.
Sara.
It's him. Thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
- I'm so sorry.
Uh, are you OK ? Your leg...
I didn't call you here for me.
I called you here for him.
For...
- Sara, what's going on ?
- [Man] It's my leg.
- What happened to you ?
- She shot me.
You shot him ?
Not her. Me. I shot him.
OK.
Fix him. You're a doctor, right ?
She said you were a doctor.
You got to fix him.
Is, uh... Is everybody else OK ?
Everyone else is fine. Except for her.
She's crazy ! She shot me !
It was an accident ! I'm sorry !
I said I was sorry !
OK, everybody. Let's be calm. Sara.
She wanted a doctor. You're the only one
I know that makes house calls.
- After you called the police ?
- She didn't want the police.
Of course not. Because she's crazy !
[Elevator dings]
I'm Officer Kevin Nelson. I'm here
for Susan McCullough's delivery.
- She expecting you ?
- No. I'm just here to support Susan.
She said she didn't want anybody,
but I wanted to come down
in case she changed her mind.
- I'll let her know.
- Thank you.
- You waiting to see a doctor ?
- I'm here to support a friend.
I'm a police officer. Kevin Nelson.
Officer Kevin Nelson.
Addison Montgomery.
Dr. Addison Montgomery.
Nice to meet you, doctor.
OK.
There's an Officer Kevin Nelson
here for you.
Are you serious ?
Uh...
He was Jason's partner.
That's nice of him to come check on you.
It is, but he's going to get emotional,
turn this into a memorial for Jason.
I don't want that.
Jason wouldn't have wanted that.
This should be about the baby.
You just tell him I'm fine.
He can go back to work.
- Are you OK ?
- Um...
Yeah, I just... I feel a little anxious.
He shouldn't be here.
I didn't want to think about it. God.
Remember the visualizations
we worked on ?
Focus on those images.
OK ?
We're following the plan.
Everything's right on schedule.
OK. I'm fine.
Totally fine.
When you have sex, when there's no
romantic entanglement, which is never...
Yes, thank you.
- Now I'm an emotional dwarf ?
- No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Is it about that I said you needed to
get laid, which I didn't say verbally.
No, listen. Listen.
I've been thinking about this.
When you do it, it's just
no-nonsense, uncomplicated sex, right ?
Just simple, stress-reducing, fun.
That's the idea.
What, are you asking me
to have sex with you ?
Yeah. Why not ? You and me.
Friends with benefits. Tonight.
I mean, you're right. I am stressed out
and I just need some touch.
And you're perfect because unemotional
sex is the only kind you have.
Shh.
- What time should I come over ?
- Really ?
Really.
- Cooper, can you take Sam's 11 :30 ?
- I'm getting laid tonight.
Congratulations. What's her screen name ?
No. Me and Violet.
- What ?
- Friends with benefits. Her idea.
No strings. No expectations.
No downside.
- That's smart ?
- Glass house, stone thrower.
You remember the last time
you dated a doctor in this practice ?
Now you and Addison
have this little weird thing.
- I can make it work.
- Based on what ?
"Addison you moved
here because I kissed you."
"Pete, you fake doctor.
Your touch heals."
You think things are going to be
the same after you've seen her naked ?
I think things are gonna be better
because I will have seen her naked.
I'm getting laid.
[Whistling]
Ashley, this is Dr. Bennett.
Things are busy today, so
she's going to be monitoring your case.
Maybe mommy would like
some time alone.
We can have someone watch your kids
if you want to stay with your wife.
- I get queasy during these things.
- He'll be more trouble than good.
- Take the boys to the lobby.
- What am I supposed to do with them ?
Well, I don't know, honey.
Just occupy them.
Come on, guys. Ready ?
Here you go. Let's go. Come on.
- Bye, sweetie.
- [Boy screams]
Naomi ? Addison ? We have a situation.
I told them that Susan said no, but
then a bunch more of them showed up.
[Men murmuring]
What's going on ?
Susan doesn't want anybody in there,
but she's part of our family
and we're not going
to leave one of our own alone.
The guys coming off shift,
they want to be here for her.
Now I'm not comfortable
with this whole birthing myself,
but Keith here,
he's got two kids, another on the way.
So he's good to go in.
I don't think
Susan is going to change her mind.
Susan, she's just a kid.
Yeah, but she needs
to do this her own way.
All right.
Well, we'll wait here. We're staying.
How do you feel ?
How do you think ?
I feel like I got shot.
- [Knocking]
- We're closed !
- [Groaning]
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that.
It's been a while since
I've had to deal with a bullet wound.
He's more of a mindlbody doctor.
- Dr. Feel Good ?
- Yeah. Hi. Hello.
MindlBody ? I need a doctor.
- Do you even know what you're doing ?
- I know exactly what I'm doing.
- It's a good color, strong pulse.
- [Woman] I need a doctor !
I am a doctor.
The bullet missed the artery,
probably just nicked the muscle.
I need a doctor for me.
My water just broke.
- What's taking so long ?
- OK. All right. Just take this.
- Put it there and apply pressure.
- You're helping her ?
Shut up ! It's a flesh wound.
You're gonna be fine.
OK, ma'am.
You're in labor, all right ?
- Should try to get you to a hospital.
- No !
OK. OK.
Well, then let me just call 911.
No ! No cops ! No 911 !
You're delivering this baby,
and you're doing it now !
OK.
OK. OK, if you don't mind,
I'm just going to make one quick call.
I said no cops !
Don't try anything ! I said no cops !
I want to call a colleague so I can
give you the help that you need.
Please.
- You dial and you hand me the phone.
- OK. I'm dialing. You see ?
All right.
Don't try and take the gun,
that's how I got shot.
- OK.
- OK.
Hey, Naomi, it's Sam.
I need your help.
I'm about to deliver a baby.
- I thought you were on a house call ?
- I am. Well, I was.
But then I ran into a really nice lady
and she is in labor.
Uh, hold on, Sam.
Monitor Ashley Minnehan's contractions
and tell me the second
she's dilated to four centimeters.
Really ? A birth ?
Bring me in
as soon as she's ready to go.
- Yeah. OK. Great.
- OK ? Understand ?
- Yeah !
- All right.
Where are you ?
I don't have time to talk.
So if we could just get to it...
OK. Fine. Is she fully dilated ?
Just a minute.
- I'm here to monitor your contractions.
- All right.
Uh, any questions or concerns ?
Anything I can do to help ?
Oh, no. Nah, I've done three of these.
I just say a little prayer and go.
And you just sit there and catch
the baby like it's a football, OK ?
Oh.
Can I just say, it's a good thing that
Pete is getting me now because I am hot.
I am on fuego.
This place is crawling with cops and
the cute one over there is totally...
What ?
Sam just called. He's delivering a baby.
He is ? What's with all the births today ?
It's like Babypalooza.
How does he get into these things ?
- I should just mind my own business.
- About Sam ?
Yeah, about Sam.
And about you "on fuego."
And Pete. You all just leap.
And you are a thinker.
So what do you think ?
About me and Pete ? Come on, Nai.
You're my friend.
OK. Fine.
You say you want change
and you pick Pete ?
What, a cute doctor boy with nice eyes ?
That's not change. That's your MO.
You're just rushing into something new.
I'm not.
I'm making a decision, uh, to take
a chance on something that feels right.
- Because you're afraid to be alone.
- What if I am ?
Surprise, Naomi.
I'm susceptible to the human condition.
Look, there are other men.
There are men in uniform
that I can not be alone with right now.
I did not pick Pete because I'm
desperate and lonely. Pete is my choice.
[Sighing]
You asked.
- [Moaning]
- Are you OK ?
- The baby's coming now.
- What ?
- No. Are you sure ? I mean...
- It's coming.
You have to catch the baby.
OK.
No, no. I can't do this.
I have to call Naomi.
Now would be a good time.
Naomi.
Your contractions
are five minutes apart.
So it won't be too much longer.
I'm ready.
You really are, Susan.
You are totally prepared for this.
Oh, God.
Today. My son's birthday is today.
- What are you doing ?
- Timing your contractions.
- You've been having pain long ?
- Since I got up.
What were you thinking ?
That I need to rob a convenience store
because I have no money
for diapers or food
or to put a roof over my baby's head !
That's not a reason ! Normal people
don't hold up stores, Kelly !
Kelly ? So you two
didn't just meet today, did you ?
- That's my baby you're delivering.
- [Groaning] OK, OK, OK.
- Dell.
- It just happened.
That was the fastest delivery
I've ever seen !
[Naomi] OK. All right.
First, what we're going to do is,
we're going to cut the umbilical cord.
All right. See, right here.
See ? About half an inch.
There we go. Yeah.
And keep the baby low for me.
- There you go. All right. There you go.
- How is she ?
Oh, she's great. She's great.
She's... Oh ! She's a boy.
Congratulations. It's a boy !
No ! You shove that boy back up there
and pull out a girl !
[Baby wailing]
One girl. Is that too much to ask ?
Your ultrasound was quite a while ago
and misinterpretations can happen
that early on.
I bought a little pink dress with
some pink shoes for a little pink girl.
And I'm not leaving
until I get some pinkness !
Kelly, I need you
to take slow, deep breaths.
Babies take money, Damon !
You think I wasn't going to turn you in ?
You think I'd let you rob
the place I work and not turn you in ?
- You owe me !
- You're crazy !
I'm not crazy, I'm hormonal.
Tell him I'm hormonal.
I think that, maybe,
there's a new word for what you are.
I couldn't raise this baby on my own !
You wouldn't give me any money,
so I had to come and take it !
- You left me with nothing !
- Why do you think I took this job ?
I told you
I'm going to take care of this baby.
- But you left me.
- Yes, I left you !
But I won't leave our baby. Let me help.
I have to just say,
it sounds like Damon's an OK guy,
- so maybe you should...
- Stay back ! Stay back !
- OK, everybody stop ! Just stop.
- [Groaning]
We... are going to listen
to the lady with the gun.
- I can't take it.
- Does everybody understand ?
Keep taking those long,
slow, deep breaths, OK ?
[Breathes deeply]
[Sam] There we go. There we go.
Ashley Minnehan will not
bond with this baby.
She was expecting a girl.
And she's at risk
for postpartum depression.
- Can you talk to her ?
- Sure.
Let me make sure
Susan's ready for me to go.
- My place, 8 :00.
- Done.
I can't raise four boys on my own.
Well, you have your husband.
He can help.
Yeah, sure. Yesterday he taught the boys
how to burp the national anthem.
Not the right help.
I'm the only one
who puts batteries in the smoke alarm.
The one who puts the cover
on the swimming pool at night.
Have you tried talking to Patrick ?
Oh, he says I'm just being silly
because nothing bad ever happens.
But that's only because
I make sure nothing bad ever happens.
Ashley, you are a great mom.
The boys like him better than me
because he plays with them.
I just wanted one girl,
so she could be mine.
And then I wouldn't care so much
about having to do it all myself.
Well, maybe you have another boy
for a reason.
Maybe it's because you're a great mom.
And you're going to raise your boys
to be good men.
And the world needs good men.
I want a girl !
Whoa.
- I've been kind of a pain in the ass.
- No, you haven't.
Yes I have. All my rules.
But things work out better
when I don't let my mind wander.
You have nothing to apologize for.
You can't really... I mean...
There's no plan
for doing this alone, is there ?
Look, there's a room full of Jason's
friends from the force here for you.
You could bring someone in.
They don't get how lonely it is
since he died.
Probably not.
I lost my wife a while ago.
I'm sorry.
It gets better.
Does it really get better ?
Or do you just bury it deeper ?
I don't know.
Maybe it depends on how you left things.
They were good.
He was so excited about this baby.
Hold on to that.
Oh ! Oh !
- Here comes another one !
- OK.
Getting up ?
- OK. You're doing good.
- Breathe.
[Kelly screams]
That's it. That's it. That's good.
Just like that, Kelly. Thanks.
Ow ! Oh, God !
You may be fully dilated.
- There you go.
- Is the baby OK ?
Make it stop ! Make it stop, Dr. Phil !
It's not Phil. It's "feel."
Feel. Like "feel good."
- OK. Never mind.
- I want an epidural !
Yeah, well,
we're in a convenience store, so...
- Oh, God !
- She's in pain ! Do something !
[Kelly breathing deeply]
All right. Kelly, listen to me.
All right, your mind
is a very powerful healing tool.
So, if you can relax your mind,
you'll be able to relax your body.
You understand what I'm saying ?
Try to relax your mind.
I just wanted a home to raise my baby,
and now I ruined everything.
- You're telling me to relax my mind ?
- Ow !
[Groaning]
Oh !
OK. Good.
You're ready to start pushing.
Nice and easy.
- I dropped it. I dropped the list.
- That's all right. We know what to do.
I should have laminated it.
Why didn't I think of that ?
- We don't need it.
- I need it. I need to get out of here.
Susan, stay where you are.
Grab the handles if you need support.
- Try to relax. Relax.
- No, I can't.
- I can't push.
- Yes, you can. The baby's coming.
No ! Something's wrong, I can feel it.
Nothing is wrong.
You're doing great.
Where the hell is Jason ?
- You're in control. Just stay with it.
- No !
He's supposed to be here !
Where is he ?
[ ? Sia : You Have Been Loved]
OK. Susan.
Susan, this little baby is ready
to come right now. We are ready.
Just like you planned.
No. No. He's...
Oh, my God !
- Try to breathe.
- My Jason.
He's dead ! He's dead !
Dead ! He's really dead !
OK. Susan.
Susan, when you hyperventilate,
you lower the baby's heart rate.
If we don't start pushing now,
there's a chance you will lose the baby.
- Do you understand ?
- I can't. I can't.
I didn't want to be alone !
This wasn't my choice !
No, I chose Jason ! I didn't want this !
Susan. Susan.
Susan, honey. Listen to me.
You're not alone. OK ?
I am right here with you. OK ?
Now, you're not alone
and we're going to push.
Just keep breathing.
Push.
[Screaming]
Good girl. Good. Good.
Good. Good. You're doing great !
Now let's bring your son out here, OK ?
All right.
Ready ?
Oh, God ! Please, please,
please, please, please ! Oh, God !
- I can help.
- You stay back !
- You want to kill me ? Then kill me !
- No, no. We don't have to go there.
- We don't have to go there.
- I'm not gonna leave our baby !
Hey, man ! Sit down, sit down.
Kelly. I've got news for you.
You tried to rob
a convenience store today.
When this is all done, you're going
to have to answer to the cops.
And they're probably going to try
and take your baby away from you.
But I think that, maybe, you're lucky
because your baby's father,
he really wants
to take care of your child.
No, he left me.
If you want what's best for your baby,
you got to put down that gun.
I can't. You'll call the cops.
I'm not going to call the cops.
You're going to have to trust me.
Can you trust me ?
All right, put down the gun.
OK. Now let's get this baby out.
- You didn't call the cops.
- No.
I didn't call the cops.
- All right.
- [Screaming]
Time to see my new boy ?
How awesome is that ?
Another little dude !
He's with the nurse right now
getting cleaned up.
Is something wrong ?
- You need to grow up.
- I'm sorry ? You don't...
Patrick, he, uh, he's right. Um...
- You need to help out around the house.
- I help ! I hang with the boys !
Upside down ! Out windows !
That's not any help !
Honey ?
Ashley really needs you to
not play so much. Do more parenting.
You know what ?
You need to grow up too.
Me ? What did I do ?
You knew that the odds
of having a girl were 50l50.
You decided to populate,
and that boy is yours.
You get what you get
and you don't get upset.
Or I can introduce you
to one of the many families I treat
who can't even have a child. All right ?
All right.
I'm sorry.
Are you two ready to see
that beautiful baby boy I delivered ?
We're ready.
That's good. That's real good, Kelly.
That's...
What ? What is it ?
Uh... OK. You just hang tight, Kelly.
Hang tight. You're doing real good.
Yeah, there's a problem. The head
is out, but the baby's not delivering.
That's shoulder dystocia.
You have to release that shoulder
or she's gonna lose the baby.
You're gonna need forceps,
anesthetic and make sure...
I don't have equipment.
No anesthetic. I don't have anything.
- Where are you ?
- Don't ask questions.
- Just tell me how to fix this fast.
- OK, Sam.
You need to reach in and rotate
the baby's shoulder counter-clockwise.
- Right now she's probably...
- [Kelly screams]
- I got to help her.
- [call disconnects]
- OK, listen to me.
- OK.
I'm gonna have to
rotate this baby myself.
- Gonna what ?
- We have to do this now.
I'm gonna count to three then reach in.
- Now this is going to hurt.
- No ! I can't !
- No, I can't ! I can't !
- Yes, you can. Stay with me.
All right ? You got this ! Come on !
- OK.
- You ready ? OK. Come on.
Almost there, Susan.
We're right here.
You're so close. Come on.
OK. OK, I almost got it.
Oh, my God ! Oh, my God !
Here we go. I got it. All right.
Now the baby's in position.
Go on, push now.
- God, it hurts ! It hurts !
- You can do it. Take my hand.
Come on. Here we go. We can do this.
Here we go. Here we go.
One more big push, Susan.
Push ! This is the final stretch.
It's the last one.
- Come on !
- No.
One more big push
and you'll have a new son.
Come on, please.
Don't give up on me now, Kelly. Push !
- Push ! Push it out now.
- OK.
Ready ?
[ ? Year Of The Monkey :
You'll Come Around]
[Indistinct chattering]
Meet the newest addition to Station 422.
Jason McCullough, Jr.
Eight pounds, ten ounces.
[Men chuckling]
- Is she OK ?
- Yeah, she looks good.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Watch the head.
OK, Um...
I got to make this call.
- To the cops ?
- Yeah. To the cops.
They're going to come and get you.
OK.
All right.
[Baby fussing]
Did Officer Nelson see him ? The guys ?
Yeah, they saw him.
- Good. Good.
- You did great.
Thank you for everything.
- His face is all squished.
- Squished-face !
Hey ! Get off your mom.
Give her a break. Now.
Hey. Hey.
Uh...
So what time tonight ?
- Well, my place, 8 :00.
- Great.
- It's a date at eight.
- It's not a date, Dr. Seuss.
It's sex.
[Elevator dings]
Your help with Susan,
it means a lot to me, to all of us.
I'm glad to help.
Well, thank you, Dr. Montgomery.
Addison.
Addison, I was wondering
if you would be interested
in having a drink with me tonight.
Oh. I, uh...
That's, um... very nice of you.
I already have plans.
[Elevator dings]
Maybe another time.
But thank you again.
Thank you.
I'm going to take my clothes off now.
- I love that family. Don't you ?
- Take your clothes off, Cooper.
I want a big family like that.
A whole bunch of kids.
All the rugrats, you know ?
I want to be a dad.
- I want to be a...
- I'm trying to have sex.
I don't really want to talk about
kids or big families.
Sorry.
You're...
- Wow, you're naked.
- It makes sex easier.
I've never seen you naked.
In the office you have clothes on.
Well, yeah, I try to be a professional.
Rip off the Band-Aid, Coop. I did.
Yeah. I can't.
- You have to. You've seen me naked.
- I know and you're... beautiful.
I'm sorry.
I thought I could, but...
You can't reject me.
You have low standards. No standards !
- It's different.
- No !
I am offering you
uncomplicated, unemotional sex.
No, you're not some girl
from the Internet.
With you it doesn't mean nothing.
It never will.
All right. Get out.
Damn it.
[ ? Terra Naomi : Say It's Possible]
[Doorbell rings]
Hi.
OK. Hi. Uh...
I came to talk to Sam, he wasn't home.
I saw you... that you were alone.
No, it's fine. Come in.
- Pete said you had a date.
- We do. We did.
An hour ago we did.
[Sighs] Damn it.
He stood me up.
He actually... stood me up.
If it helps,
I was colossally stupid today.
I mean, colossally, with Violet.
Friends with benefits.
She wanted us to...
...you know... together.
- And ?
I couldn't.
No benefits. I just...
...couldn't mess with it. Stupid.
- I think I win that award today.
- No, I am the most stupidest.
Stupider. Or more stupid.
Stupid-i-est.
Let's call it a tie.
Would you like to order some pizza
and get really fat with me ?
Yes. Please.
[Knock on door]
Cooper. Not now.
I can't...
- Pete.
- Sorry it's so late.
What's wrong ?
When she died,
Anna and I had been trying.
To have a baby ?
Yeah.
Hey. You're here late.
My God. Sam, are you all right ?
What happened ?
Uh, she had a healthy baby girl
thanks to you.
I don't understand.
How do you get those bruises
delivering a baby ?
Oh, yeah. The mom, she hit me.
She hit you ?
- With a gun.
- With her what ?
It was sort of like a hostage situation.
- I didn't mention that on the phone ?
- No.
No, you did not mention that
to me on the phone !
- I didn't want you to worry.
- God, Sam ! You could've been hurt !
- No.
- You... You could've...
- I'm fine. Everything's fine.
- Everything is not fine, Sam !
Everything is very, very not fine !
You got beaten up by a pregnant lady !
This is what happens
when you do things without thinking !
- I didn't...
- I am sick of it.
I'm sick and tired of being the only
person in this practice who thinks !
Who thinks and thinks and...
[Naomi gasps]