Private Practice (2007–2013): Season 1, Episode 2 - In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor... - full transcript
Cooper tries to get Sam back into the main stream again, while Addison deals with a child who's condition doesn't match that of her parents' lineage.
[ ? Frank Popp Ensemble : Leave Me Alone]
[Addison] What are you people
doing in my house ?
- Told you, it's a surprise.
- [Pete] For Sam.
- You know about this ?
- Sadly, I do.
[Addison] If it's a surprise for Sam,
why aren't you at Sam's house ?
- Put that down.
- That would totally ruin the surprise.
- What are you doing ?
- Cooper thinks Sam's in a rut.
Well, I am not in a rut, OK ?
In fact, I have plans.
- You have plans ? With who ?
- With Naomi.
Oh.
You invited Naomi here ?
No. Actually that's no good.
Well, it's good for me.
It's good for Naomi.
Naomi is my friend.
You people, I barely know.
The thing is, Naomi kind of
steps on the surprise.
What kind of surprise is this ?
One named Ginger.
- What ?
- I'm out of here.
She's about to ring the doorbell.
Five minutes.
[Sam mumbling]
Ah, OK.
- They can't stop us, buddy. Right ?
- [Doorbell rings]
[Barking]
Sam ?
[Violet] How do you know
how to find a stripper ?
Ginger is not a stripper.
She's an entertainer.
- What does that even mean ?
- I'm still trying to figure it out.
Sam is not like you, Cooper.
He's not interested in...
I think Sam is.
- Sam and a stripper. Who knew.
- Hey ! It's just getting good ! Could...
[Naomi] A stripper ?
- Oh, you like that ?
- You have something.
- [Laughs] Thanks. You're sweet, too.
- No, you got something right here.
- Huh ?
- Let me get a closer look.
Uh, yeah.
Hey, man. What were you thinking ?
It's a long, sad story.
Did she do the thing where she...
could be pneumonia.
- Set them up with an X-ray.
- You're not fooling anybody.
Who's up first ?
Dave Walker called this morning,
complaining of headache and nausea.
- His wife left him.
- He's drinking again.
Got his son and mother living
with him. I'll check him out.
- You do house calls too ?
- We. We all do house calls.
- What ?
- Nothing.
The O'Brien's bringing their baby
in again. Nine month-old girl.
She's been sick since birth.
- Is that the Dad...
- He's disconnected from this baby.
- I tried to get him to see you, no go.
- Let me know if I can help.
Want to help me ?
- What ?
- Anything else ?
- You have two cases next week...
- Nobody ? Super.
Pete, do you think acupuncture could
help with a patient that's presenting...
Could you tell me...
did she do the triple-jointed thing ?
- I'll be leaving.
- Does it even occur to you
to think of Naomi's feelings ?
So wait. Do they know ?
[Gasps]
- Does Naomi know ?
- Back to the triple-jointed thing.
It looks like it hurts, but in the most
awesomest way. Look. Does she do this ?
Amber Johnson ?
- Hey. Are you mad at me ?
- Amber Johnson ?
Because it seemed like you
were mad at me. In the meeting.
I'm just looking out for Naomi.
Hey. Amber.
See you next week, Thomas.
Addison is mad at me
because Cooper hired a stripper.
I'm ignoring the stripper.
Today is a day for ignoring things.
I am all business today.
- Who's my next patient ?
- This guy wants to talk to you.
Sign, please.
- Oh, no.
- It's a nice bike.
No ? OK.
[Cooper] Emily's gained weight. Good.
- Has she been sleeping ?
- Better. Don't you think ?
No. I don't, actually.
I said it was going to be a long haul
when she was born with these symptoms.
I just feel like when is she
going to catch a break ?
Well... Here you go.
Come here, Emily.
Look at that guy. Where's that guy ?
You know, just to be safe, I am going
to run a couple more blood tests.
- She hates needles.
- If it was optional, I wouldn't do it.
OK ?
Did you know you have an office here ?
- It's right next door.
- I am asking because I am curious.
Not because I care. What's her name ?
- Whose name ?
- The girl.
The girl, Sam.
Ginger.
- Her name is Ginger ?
- Hey, I did not name her.
I didn't hold her up to the moon
and do the Kunta Kinte thing.
- This isn't Roots.
- Oh, you funny. You funny man.
Her name is Ginger.
Did you sleep with Ginger ?
And you're asking
because you're curious ?
Yeah.
- Yes.
- Samuel !
No. I didn't. [chuckles]
I just wanted to see
what "curiosity" looked like.
Looks an awful lot like jealousy.
- I am not jealous.
- Oh, yes, you are.
If I want to see a stripper,
I'm going to see a stripper.
Shoot. I'm grown.
Trying to tell me. Come on, Dave.
I know you didn't go to work.
Dave probably gets to see strippers.
Probably got one right now.
I know he didn't make me come here
for nothing, Dave. Come on.
Dave !
Dave ! Dave, open the door !
Miss Walker, open up the door !
Op...
- How long has he been like this ?
- I don't know.
I just came downstairs and he was...
I don't know.
Miss Walker ? How long
has he been like this ?
Grandma !
Yes, this is Dr. Sam Bennett.
I need an ambulance immediately.
- [Sirens wailing]
- Dave, what happened in there ?
I don't know. I had breakfast,
getting ready for work.
Next thing, I'm hugging the toilet.
- What's wrong with him ?
- At the hospital we'll figure it out.
- But he's coming back ?
- Of course I am, Stevie.
I don't want you here by yourself.
I'm OK. My grandmother's here.
Yeah.
Fellas, would you mind taking the boy
and his grandmother with you ?
I'm worried about
leaving her in charge. All right.
Do you want to talk about Sam's...
- Well, not Sam's... Clearly not...
- Oh, come on. Will you say it ?
Sam's stripper. Sam's stripper.
Say it. So what ?
So, I mean, Sam's single. I'm single.
- So single. And single people move on.
- Yeah.
Sorry, but looking at this
in my office all day...
- You bought a bike ?
- Custom-built.
It's from Italy. And Allan is never
getting his hands on it.
- Ever. I don't care if it cost $6,000.
- Bought Allan a $6,000 bike ?
I ordered it last year.
It just arrived today. On his birthday.
- Oh.
- Brutal.
- Why don't you sell it ?
- Yeah. Yeah, maybe I will.
- Or give it away. Just...
- Great. Exactly.
I'm going to give it away.
Hey. Hey.
You will not give Allan that bike.
- I won't ?
- Will you be strong ?
Yeah.
Strong.
I told my teacher there's probably
no way you could do it, but...
- Do what ?
- Speak at my midwifery class.
I told my teacher about Naomi,
she called you a "primal life giver."
- I think I have something that night.
- Come on. Do it.
- It might give you a boost.
- I don't need boosting. I'm fine.
I'll do it. I love talking to midwiffs.
Actually,
I think we're good on OBs, but...
Oh no, I'm actually a double-board
certified, neonatal surgeon.
- Mmm...
- One of the best. In the world.
With a specialty in genetics.
- DNA.
- Well, yeah, maybe.
You know, if someone drops out.
You can't get more primal
and life-giving than DNA. Dell ?
Excuse me, do you still have time
for that consult ?
- The little girl ?
- Yeah.
- Please tell me I'm reading that wrong.
- Oh.
Cooper asked for a second opinion.
But the genetic tests we ran
confirmed that
Emily has a serious presentation
of Pelizaeus-Merzbacher disease.
- How do we cure it ?
- Well, there's a medication
to treat the symptoms,
but there is no cure.
So, she's...
...not going to get better ?
Ever ?
The drugs can give her five years.
- Five years ? Five ?
- What ?
I'm sorry. I know this
is difficult to hear.
- And we will do everything that we can.
- Wait. You said that this was genetic.
- One of us made her sick ?
- You can't think like that.
My sister's trying to get pregnant.
Could she have this too ?
We'll have to run some blood tests,
see which mutation you're carrying.
It's important for your sister,
also for you, if and when
you decide you want other children.
No. Emily. Emily is all we need.
Excuse me. I'm looking
for a Dave Walker.
He came in with vomiting
and severe dehydration.
He was released 15 minutes ago.
On whose orders ?
Don't release my patient
without calling me.
Don't lecture me on medical etiquette.
Vitals were normal, we needed bays,
he wanted to leave.
- Probably had some 24 hour bug.
- It didn't look like a bug.
He was unconscious when I found him,
said it was something he ate,
but tested negative for E. Coli,
salmonella...
Still, 100 possibilities.
None which require hospital stays.
He was fine, Sam. Besides,
Grandma said she could handle it.
The same grandma who couldn't call 911 ?
That's why you don't
release my patients without calling me.
Any word back about the girl ?
Yeah, but the test results
don't make any sense.
Sometimes they can be hard to read.
Let me see.
You see the...
This doesn't make any sense.
Which mutation did the parents
pass on to Emily ?
- None.
- Well, how is that possible ?
Because they're not her parents.
Emily is ours. She's my baby.
There's the chance
that this was human error...
...the hospital nursery
wristbands fell off, got mixed up.
[Addison] There is also the possibility
that someone may have
done this on purpose.
Are you accusing us ? I mean,
you think that we wanted this ?
Right now, you take care of Emily
and we'll find out what happened.
Something's wrong with him. Tell him
his daughter is dying, he's cold.
Tell him he's not the father,
he gets defensive.
People react
to terrible news differently.
It's his child. Show some emotion.
- Where did Beth give birth ?
- Saint Ambrose.
- Charlotte King's hospital.
- I'm going there.
You need to stay here and
just calm down. We'll go.
Fine.
Where are those nursery records ?
There was no stolen baby reported.
Not in this hospital.
Not while I was Chief.
Well then, two sets of parents
went home with the wrong babies.
I swear, do you all take some kind of
perverse pleasure in ruining my life ?
There are switched babies out
there, but this is about us.
This hospital has
the best nurses in the city.
Neonate spent a fortune on security.
Did Saint Ambrose institute nap time
or do I still have a staff ?
[Addison] Show us records
for other babies
that were in the nursery
the time Emily was there.
Will someone just... Thank you.
There was only one other
African-American girl in the nursery.
Who is it ?
This hospital spent 124 years
building its reputation.
I am not going to ruin that
by chatting with you.
- Can you just give us the name ?
- Not until I talk to our attorneys.
Blood pressure 125 over 84.
That's normal.
- I feel a lot better.
- OK.
Maybe a little shaky.
What do you think it was ?
Still not sure.
Just to be safe, why don't you clean
the kitchen, top to bottom.
- It's not food that got him sick.
- Ma, please.
- Close the door, honey.
- [Stevie] I'll leave it open.
The next time Dad passes out no one's
got to break a window to get in.
Hey, Stevie. Is he OK ?
Oh, he's just bullheaded like his dad.
What are you going to do ?
- And your mom ?
- We're doing real good, doc.
Things are good.
[Sam] What am I missing ?
Well, 90% of cases, it comes down
to history and environment.
The environment's all messed up.
Dad's drinking,
Grandma's got more than she
can handle, kid's acting out.
Sounds a lot more serious
than a 24 hour flu.
See, that's why I'm worried.
They've got enough to deal with as is.
If David's got something serious,
I'm not sure how they hold it together.
- Hey, Coop !
- Hey. Ginger !
I didn't recognize you in...
- I didn't recognize you. Hey.
- Hey.
Tell me that is not the girl
from last night.
- Cooper's bringing them to work now ?
- That's it. He's just crossed the line.
- Sam just hugged a stripper.
- With Cooper, you know what you have.
OK, now, let's all calm down.
Sam is not a dog. He never was.
There could be a totally innocent
explanation for this.
What, for stripper hugging ?
Give me one. Give me one.
Like she's here to see the real dog.
Oh, would you look at him.
He's all, "I'm a doctor.
My touch heals."
Can I talk to you ?
- I spoke to our attorneys.
- And ?
Some days I really hate
the Hippocratic oath.
Here is the file
on the second African-American baby
in the hospital nursery.
You're just giving it to us ?
Just like that ?
If you think I'm being nice,
read the name.
- Oh, God.
- What ?
- And my problem becomes your problem.
- Melinda and Duncan Stinson.
- You know them ?
- I got them pregnant.
[Duncan] What do you think
of your handiwork ?
[Naomi] Oh, she is so cute.
If you tell me I've got more hormones
to take I'm going to scream.
No. It's just we need to run
some blood tests on all of you.
What's going on ?
So how are you holding up ?
I'll be better
when we find out who did this.
- All your nurses check out ?
- One moved a few days later.
But her record was impeccable.
- Something happened in that nursery.
- You don't know that.
Doesn't stop you
from tossing the blame my way.
I know that if one of my patients
was in this much pain,
I would be busting my ass
looking for answers.
Thank you.
I hadn't gotten my earful
of Oceanside arrogance today.
Look at him.
How is that guy and the guy who hired
me a stripper the same person ?
He's Cooper.
So this other couple, their baby
was born the same night ?
That's right.
We're running blood tests on them now.
What if the other blood tests
come back positive ?
This is the hard part.
According to California law,
you would say goodbye to Emily
and welcome a new child
into your lives.
That's ridiculous. OK ?
The blood tests are not
going to come back positive.
- I don't care what blood tests say.
- Honey...
No ! No ! I know Emily
is my daughter, OK ?
A mother can feel these things.
That I don't love that other child.
I couldn't love another baby.
I love Emily.
Why don't we just wait for the results
of the blood tests and go from there ?
Emily's had a hard time,
now she has to adjust to a new family ?
The babies are young.
Adoptions take place at this age all
the time. Kids are fine.
It's the parents I'm worried about.
They're the ones who grieve.
Greg O'Brien isn't grieving.
What is up with you and this case ?
Your emotional attachment is huge.
You're one to lecture about
unhealthy emotional attachments.
OK. That was a nice deflection.
But unlike you, I am detaching.
You want to try it ? It's yours.
Light.
Why didn't Allan buy his own bike ?
On our third anniversary, you know,
we took that trip to Italy.
He took me to the town where they made
those because even as a child he had...
...he'd wanted one.
So he saved up his money,
but then his dad split on his mom.
So he had to use his savings
to pay rent and to keep his mom afloat.
He never got the bike.
What ? What ?
Take the bike ! You love it.
I loved it when I thought it was
a cool, sexy, get-me-laid bike,
not some sad, Allan-y,
Cat's in the Cradle bike.
Hey ! Is that stripper
still in your office ?
Entertainer, not stripper. And yes.
And she's been in there all day ? Why ?
- We're trying different techniques.
- Yeah. I'm sure you are.
You know what ? Naomi does not need
Ginger thrown in her face.
Naomi is a big girl. She can handle it.
- Doesn't have to. That's why I'm here.
- [Ginger] Pete ?
Is it supposed to feel tingly ?
"Pete. Is it supposed to feel..."
You know what ? Go.
Go do... Take care of your poor little
stripper girl and her "tingly."
Entertainer. Why are you
so angry at me ? Cooper's the one...
I am trying to take care of my friend !
Cooper is bad, you're worse.
You know why ?
Because you're slippery. Yeah.
You walk around pretending to be
soulful, but you don't take the heat.
You just do whatever you want to do
and you evade. Evade, evade, evade.
Do you need me to kiss you again ?
No !
OK.
You're back.
Nurses' schedules.
Perinatal testing.
Personnel files.
- What did you find ?
- Not a damn thing.
I have been through every one
of these backwards and forwards.
You're so sure my hospital
ruined these people's lives ?
Then help me prove it.
Please, will someone hurry ?
Help ! Help me, please !
Sam ! Sam ! Front !
- Hey ! Hey ! Help !
- Please ! Hurry !
Yeah. I got it.
- Sam !
- Stevie, what's going on ?
Whatever my dad had... [retching]
I got it worse. [moans]
I got home, Grandma made
Dad and me some sandwiches, then...
...pukeville.
What did I tell you about that kitchen ?
- It was just a sandwich.
- That could have killed him.
- Where is your father ?
- At work.
- I didn't want to bother him with this.
- I understand you mean well,
but something you are doing
is making them sick.
This is a family matter, doctor.
It doesn't concern you.
Dell, can you hand carry
Stevie Walker's blood to the lab for me ?
Put a rush on it. Have them screen
for ingestible poisons.
Yeah.
Hey.
I got the test back from the Stinson's.
The O'Brien baby is their baby.
And the Stinson baby
belongs to the O'Brien's.
Yep.
How do you tell someone that their baby
was switched with another baby ?
Damn it.
[Sobbing]
That was the hardest thing
I've ever done.
- You did everything right.
- And Dad doesn't shed a tear.
- How's it going with Naomi ?
- Well, you know. So far, so good.
[Duncan] You know what you put
my wife through, put us through ?
And now you tell us that this other
baby, who we've never met, is sick ?
We did everything you asked us to do.
I know how hard you two
worked to get pregnant.
Letdown after letdown...
the miscarriages, the hormones,
how many shots I had to stick in her.
She could hardly move,
she was so bruised !
- I wish there was something I could do.
- There is something.
You can start by explaining
how you can live with yourself.
Taking money,
promising us a healthy baby.
Duncan, I never promised you perfection.
I promised you a child.
My retirement ! Vacation pay ! Our future !
- Spent it all to have our little girl !
- Duncan ! Please !
I want my money back.
I want my damn money back !
[Baby wailing]
Your husband,
he has a right to be angry.
So do you.
I could just take Sarah and go.
We could just go away.
- No one would find us.
- Except you won't.
Because Emily is your daughter.
And she is sick.
And a mother never
leaves her child behind.
Not a strong mother.
No. No. This isn't happening.
I'm not going to do it.
Come on, baby.
Hey. Stevie Walker's lab results.
- Coprine ?
- From the mushroom ?
Ink cap mushrooms contain coprine.
It acts like a natural form of Antabuse.
Ingest the mushroom
and drink alcohol, you get...
- Really, really sick.
- So someone's poisoning Stevie ?
Any luck ?
I think we know when
the switch happened.
We have baby Emily's hospital record
and baby Sarah's hospital records.
And then on day two, they switch.
Emily becomes Sarah
and Sarah becomes Emily ?
What about this nurse... left town ?
No. She was in the ER of my hospital.
Laid out with the flu,
- hooked up to an IV all night.
- So we're back to square one ?
My patient is being poisoned
by his own dear sweet mother.
She's dosing him with ink cap mushrooms,
which means he's drinking... boom.
On the floor.
- Baby switch.
- Poisoning ?
For real ? Baby... Hi.
You are not a member of this practice
so you have to go ahead and unhear that.
Wow. I thought I had a problem.
We can help you with yours,
since we're not getting anywhere.
I just... I don't know. I got to stop
the mother from hurting her son.
Now she's also poisoning her grandson.
But I can't send her to jail, can I ?
How could a parent do that to a child ?
Let me see the visitors log again.
Yeah.
The first two days, one person
was there constantly.
A parent did that to a child.
What you're doing is a crime.
You can't go around poisoning people.
No. I only meant it for David.
I didn't know Stevie was drinking.
So it's OK to poison your own son ?
Every time he takes a drink,
he pays for it.
That's how you teach my David a lesson.
You have to stop doing this. Now.
No. My family, we're weak
when it comes to this.
David's not weak, he's an alcoholic.
And some old-world remedy will not
guarantee that he'll stop drinking.
- I'm a doctor and I'm telling you...
- What ? You ? [laughs]
You're like all the other doctors.
Oh, you make him go to a 12-step group,
but do you make him stop drinking ?
No ! So I did.
Please. You can't tell David.
This will work.
As David's doctor,
I can't let it happen. I'm sorry.
Then you might as well have me arrested.
Because I don't know how long I've got,
and my family means everything.
If I don't protect them, who will ?
[Addison] From birth your baby, your
biological baby... It was difficult.
She had a neurological problem.
She did ?
Your C-section caused
severe post labor pain,
so you were sedated
for most of the first two days.
You wouldn't have been aware
of how serious it was.
But you were, Mr. Stinson.
You were in the nursery 24-7. And then
when your daughter was two days old,
she seized while you were holding her.
What are you saying ?
What are you saying ? I'm...
She's saying the next time
you were in the nursery alone,
- is when the babies were switched.
- [Addison] You were the only one there.
It would be easy to switch a
security bracelet 'cause she was small.
- I'm not going to stand for this.
- You were that baby's father !
Mr. Stinson, people's lives
have been altered. Your child's life.
You were supposed to take care of her
and instead switched her
because she was sick.
I think this is your
opportunity to explain to us...
No, you explain.
You explain !
Three years and $250,000
and all my wife's hopes and dreams !
- Oh, my God.
- Melinda...
...this other family, they can have
more kids, healthy kids. You see ?
[Melinda] Duncan.
[Duncan] This isn't... I'm not a...
Melinda, honey.
How could you give my baby
to somebody else ?
How could you ?
What switches in your brain
makes it OK to steal a child ?
Adults are there to protect children,
to keep them from harm.
You're angry at yourself.
What ? I'm talking about Duncan
Stinson. I'm angry about that.
Right. Before that it was Greg O'Brien.
But it's really about you.
Don't do the shrink thing, Violet.
You can't blame yourself for not being
able to make her better, Cooper.
She's just a baby.
We're here because you have
a problem with alcohol.
A problem ? [laughs] No.
- I have a glass of wine or a beer.
- Dave.
Once, twice a week, maybe I drink
more than I should. Tops.
We need to get you into treatment.
Why ? Because I like beer ?
Come on. I don't need treatment.
- Dave.
- Sorry.
Well, you should know that I figured out
why you've been getting sick.
You've developed an allergy to alcohol.
- What ? That's not possible.
- Well, it's rare.
Yeah, it's really rare.
And it probably runs in the family.
So, I mean, you've seen
what happens when you drink.
- That's going to happen every time.
- [Dave] So, what ?
- I have to stop drinking ?
- Yeah, you do. That's my diagnosis.
Now, if you continue to get sick...
...then I'm going to have to consider
that it's something much more serious.
Gloria, you're going to help Dave
make sure that never happens ?
Not even once ?
Oh, yes. Yes. Well, he...
Dave's learned his lesson.
[Knock on door]
Come in.
Would you like to sit down ?
I think it might be helpful for us
to talk about what happened.
Your husband...
Is not my husband anymore.
[Sighs deeply]
- That other little girl...
- Your daughter.
She's so sick that she could die ?
Yes.
Before she's five-years-old ?
Yes.
[ ? James Blunt : Same Mistake]
Melinda.
This is Emily.
This is your Mama.
This is Emily.
- Hey.
- [Emily murmuring]
This is a mistake. I can't.
- I thought it would feel like...
- Listen.
It is natural that you would feel
like a stranger at first.
It'll get better.
- She's so small.
- [Cooper] The condition she has...
...it's caused a failure to thrive.
- She's so beautiful.
- I know.
I sing her to sleep.
Sarah likes...
It's going to sound stupid, but,
I sing Madonna songs, they're the only
ones I know all the words to.
But they work.
She goes to sleep so easy.
Emily screams...
...every two hours.
But if I put her on my chest,
the sound of my heartbeat...
Your heartbeat.
It calms her.
Sarah is beautiful too.
Look at her.
No. I can't.
- I can't.
- You have to.
She's yours. A mother
never leaves her child behind.
Hi.
Hi, Sarah.
[Sniffling]
I thought I couldn't watch her die.
And now, I can't let her go.
[Charlotte sniffling]
- I'll get you a tissue.
- I'm fine.
It's OK. It's been a big day.
Montgomery.
I'm Chief to over 200 physicians.
You call this a big day ?
This place is making you soft.
God. I am a wreck.
Long day.
I just sent a man to jail
for trying to get rid of his own kid,
but your day sounds really hard.
I didn't know.
Yeah, well, of course not.
You spent the entire day dealing
with the perils of aromatherapy
and, uh... your stripper.
I know you don't believe me,
but I like my women real.
Real skin,
real breasts,
real lines around their eyes that mean
they've really lived and had pain.
You show me that woman,
and I'm interested.
And not in a "slippery" way.
And, Addison ?
I think it's great that you try
to take care of Naomi. But...
...who takes care of you ?
No Ginger. She can't be her.
Ginger cannot be her.
You have to translate from freaked out
language to normal people language.
The first woman you date
after me has to be...
She has to...
Look, she cannot be some stripper
with clear platforms
and a suspicious skin condition.
- Eventually I'm going to start dating.
- I know that.
And when that happens, you do not
get to have a say in who I date.
I know that.
- So...
- So fine. Date.
- But it can't be Ginger.
- And we're back to crazy.
You know, I'm a catch.
I do the New York Times crossword
puzzle in pen,
I eat vegetables,
I have a very good sense of humor,
and I don't do Pilates because I think
it's fun. I mean, have you seen me ?
If you date Ginger after you were with
me, if she is what you are choosing,
if your big dream is
rashy-skinned strippers,
then what...
- What were you...
- What was I doing with you ?
Forget it.
The next girl I date will be amazing.
She will be beautiful,
she will be intelligent
and she will be rash-free.
- She'll be better than me ?
- She will be way better than you.
OK ?
OK. That's sweet. Thank you.
[ ? A Fine Frenzy :
Hope For the Hopeless]
[Cooper] Hey, Vi, open up !
I need to borrow some tools.
The frame's still in one piece.
The wheels came off and the chain,
but I think I might need a blowtorch.
Or a hacksaw. Do you have a hacksaw ?
- Is this helping ?
- Yeah. Yeah, actually.
It's very therapeutic.
Damn it. I'm so full of crap.
I went over to Allan's with the bike.
Mmm.
But he'd already gotten one. From Cami.
Yes, he told her the bike story.
It took him three years
to tell me the bike story.
They've been together, what, a day ?
And he told her the bike story.
- I'm an idiot.
- No, you're not.
No, I am. I am. I am.
He's married. It's over. I am an idiot.
Violet. You are not.
You're just, you're...
You're just honest.
That's your fatal flaw.
It's my favorite thing about you.
All right. Come here.
Want to help run the bike over
with my car ?
Absolutely.
[Naomi] Look at him sitting up there
with that dumb little dog.
Well, if you want, we could...
I mean, you want to go say hi ? Or...
Or you could just look a little longer.
Yeah, the last one.
OK.
[Addison] What are you people
doing in my house ?
- Told you, it's a surprise.
- [Pete] For Sam.
- You know about this ?
- Sadly, I do.
[Addison] If it's a surprise for Sam,
why aren't you at Sam's house ?
- Put that down.
- That would totally ruin the surprise.
- What are you doing ?
- Cooper thinks Sam's in a rut.
Well, I am not in a rut, OK ?
In fact, I have plans.
- You have plans ? With who ?
- With Naomi.
Oh.
You invited Naomi here ?
No. Actually that's no good.
Well, it's good for me.
It's good for Naomi.
Naomi is my friend.
You people, I barely know.
The thing is, Naomi kind of
steps on the surprise.
What kind of surprise is this ?
One named Ginger.
- What ?
- I'm out of here.
She's about to ring the doorbell.
Five minutes.
[Sam mumbling]
Ah, OK.
- They can't stop us, buddy. Right ?
- [Doorbell rings]
[Barking]
Sam ?
[Violet] How do you know
how to find a stripper ?
Ginger is not a stripper.
She's an entertainer.
- What does that even mean ?
- I'm still trying to figure it out.
Sam is not like you, Cooper.
He's not interested in...
I think Sam is.
- Sam and a stripper. Who knew.
- Hey ! It's just getting good ! Could...
[Naomi] A stripper ?
- Oh, you like that ?
- You have something.
- [Laughs] Thanks. You're sweet, too.
- No, you got something right here.
- Huh ?
- Let me get a closer look.
Uh, yeah.
Hey, man. What were you thinking ?
It's a long, sad story.
Did she do the thing where she...
could be pneumonia.
- Set them up with an X-ray.
- You're not fooling anybody.
Who's up first ?
Dave Walker called this morning,
complaining of headache and nausea.
- His wife left him.
- He's drinking again.
Got his son and mother living
with him. I'll check him out.
- You do house calls too ?
- We. We all do house calls.
- What ?
- Nothing.
The O'Brien's bringing their baby
in again. Nine month-old girl.
She's been sick since birth.
- Is that the Dad...
- He's disconnected from this baby.
- I tried to get him to see you, no go.
- Let me know if I can help.
Want to help me ?
- What ?
- Anything else ?
- You have two cases next week...
- Nobody ? Super.
Pete, do you think acupuncture could
help with a patient that's presenting...
Could you tell me...
did she do the triple-jointed thing ?
- I'll be leaving.
- Does it even occur to you
to think of Naomi's feelings ?
So wait. Do they know ?
[Gasps]
- Does Naomi know ?
- Back to the triple-jointed thing.
It looks like it hurts, but in the most
awesomest way. Look. Does she do this ?
Amber Johnson ?
- Hey. Are you mad at me ?
- Amber Johnson ?
Because it seemed like you
were mad at me. In the meeting.
I'm just looking out for Naomi.
Hey. Amber.
See you next week, Thomas.
Addison is mad at me
because Cooper hired a stripper.
I'm ignoring the stripper.
Today is a day for ignoring things.
I am all business today.
- Who's my next patient ?
- This guy wants to talk to you.
Sign, please.
- Oh, no.
- It's a nice bike.
No ? OK.
[Cooper] Emily's gained weight. Good.
- Has she been sleeping ?
- Better. Don't you think ?
No. I don't, actually.
I said it was going to be a long haul
when she was born with these symptoms.
I just feel like when is she
going to catch a break ?
Well... Here you go.
Come here, Emily.
Look at that guy. Where's that guy ?
You know, just to be safe, I am going
to run a couple more blood tests.
- She hates needles.
- If it was optional, I wouldn't do it.
OK ?
Did you know you have an office here ?
- It's right next door.
- I am asking because I am curious.
Not because I care. What's her name ?
- Whose name ?
- The girl.
The girl, Sam.
Ginger.
- Her name is Ginger ?
- Hey, I did not name her.
I didn't hold her up to the moon
and do the Kunta Kinte thing.
- This isn't Roots.
- Oh, you funny. You funny man.
Her name is Ginger.
Did you sleep with Ginger ?
And you're asking
because you're curious ?
Yeah.
- Yes.
- Samuel !
No. I didn't. [chuckles]
I just wanted to see
what "curiosity" looked like.
Looks an awful lot like jealousy.
- I am not jealous.
- Oh, yes, you are.
If I want to see a stripper,
I'm going to see a stripper.
Shoot. I'm grown.
Trying to tell me. Come on, Dave.
I know you didn't go to work.
Dave probably gets to see strippers.
Probably got one right now.
I know he didn't make me come here
for nothing, Dave. Come on.
Dave !
Dave ! Dave, open the door !
Miss Walker, open up the door !
Op...
- How long has he been like this ?
- I don't know.
I just came downstairs and he was...
I don't know.
Miss Walker ? How long
has he been like this ?
Grandma !
Yes, this is Dr. Sam Bennett.
I need an ambulance immediately.
- [Sirens wailing]
- Dave, what happened in there ?
I don't know. I had breakfast,
getting ready for work.
Next thing, I'm hugging the toilet.
- What's wrong with him ?
- At the hospital we'll figure it out.
- But he's coming back ?
- Of course I am, Stevie.
I don't want you here by yourself.
I'm OK. My grandmother's here.
Yeah.
Fellas, would you mind taking the boy
and his grandmother with you ?
I'm worried about
leaving her in charge. All right.
Do you want to talk about Sam's...
- Well, not Sam's... Clearly not...
- Oh, come on. Will you say it ?
Sam's stripper. Sam's stripper.
Say it. So what ?
So, I mean, Sam's single. I'm single.
- So single. And single people move on.
- Yeah.
Sorry, but looking at this
in my office all day...
- You bought a bike ?
- Custom-built.
It's from Italy. And Allan is never
getting his hands on it.
- Ever. I don't care if it cost $6,000.
- Bought Allan a $6,000 bike ?
I ordered it last year.
It just arrived today. On his birthday.
- Oh.
- Brutal.
- Why don't you sell it ?
- Yeah. Yeah, maybe I will.
- Or give it away. Just...
- Great. Exactly.
I'm going to give it away.
Hey. Hey.
You will not give Allan that bike.
- I won't ?
- Will you be strong ?
Yeah.
Strong.
I told my teacher there's probably
no way you could do it, but...
- Do what ?
- Speak at my midwifery class.
I told my teacher about Naomi,
she called you a "primal life giver."
- I think I have something that night.
- Come on. Do it.
- It might give you a boost.
- I don't need boosting. I'm fine.
I'll do it. I love talking to midwiffs.
Actually,
I think we're good on OBs, but...
Oh no, I'm actually a double-board
certified, neonatal surgeon.
- Mmm...
- One of the best. In the world.
With a specialty in genetics.
- DNA.
- Well, yeah, maybe.
You know, if someone drops out.
You can't get more primal
and life-giving than DNA. Dell ?
Excuse me, do you still have time
for that consult ?
- The little girl ?
- Yeah.
- Please tell me I'm reading that wrong.
- Oh.
Cooper asked for a second opinion.
But the genetic tests we ran
confirmed that
Emily has a serious presentation
of Pelizaeus-Merzbacher disease.
- How do we cure it ?
- Well, there's a medication
to treat the symptoms,
but there is no cure.
So, she's...
...not going to get better ?
Ever ?
The drugs can give her five years.
- Five years ? Five ?
- What ?
I'm sorry. I know this
is difficult to hear.
- And we will do everything that we can.
- Wait. You said that this was genetic.
- One of us made her sick ?
- You can't think like that.
My sister's trying to get pregnant.
Could she have this too ?
We'll have to run some blood tests,
see which mutation you're carrying.
It's important for your sister,
also for you, if and when
you decide you want other children.
No. Emily. Emily is all we need.
Excuse me. I'm looking
for a Dave Walker.
He came in with vomiting
and severe dehydration.
He was released 15 minutes ago.
On whose orders ?
Don't release my patient
without calling me.
Don't lecture me on medical etiquette.
Vitals were normal, we needed bays,
he wanted to leave.
- Probably had some 24 hour bug.
- It didn't look like a bug.
He was unconscious when I found him,
said it was something he ate,
but tested negative for E. Coli,
salmonella...
Still, 100 possibilities.
None which require hospital stays.
He was fine, Sam. Besides,
Grandma said she could handle it.
The same grandma who couldn't call 911 ?
That's why you don't
release my patients without calling me.
Any word back about the girl ?
Yeah, but the test results
don't make any sense.
Sometimes they can be hard to read.
Let me see.
You see the...
This doesn't make any sense.
Which mutation did the parents
pass on to Emily ?
- None.
- Well, how is that possible ?
Because they're not her parents.
Emily is ours. She's my baby.
There's the chance
that this was human error...
...the hospital nursery
wristbands fell off, got mixed up.
[Addison] There is also the possibility
that someone may have
done this on purpose.
Are you accusing us ? I mean,
you think that we wanted this ?
Right now, you take care of Emily
and we'll find out what happened.
Something's wrong with him. Tell him
his daughter is dying, he's cold.
Tell him he's not the father,
he gets defensive.
People react
to terrible news differently.
It's his child. Show some emotion.
- Where did Beth give birth ?
- Saint Ambrose.
- Charlotte King's hospital.
- I'm going there.
You need to stay here and
just calm down. We'll go.
Fine.
Where are those nursery records ?
There was no stolen baby reported.
Not in this hospital.
Not while I was Chief.
Well then, two sets of parents
went home with the wrong babies.
I swear, do you all take some kind of
perverse pleasure in ruining my life ?
There are switched babies out
there, but this is about us.
This hospital has
the best nurses in the city.
Neonate spent a fortune on security.
Did Saint Ambrose institute nap time
or do I still have a staff ?
[Addison] Show us records
for other babies
that were in the nursery
the time Emily was there.
Will someone just... Thank you.
There was only one other
African-American girl in the nursery.
Who is it ?
This hospital spent 124 years
building its reputation.
I am not going to ruin that
by chatting with you.
- Can you just give us the name ?
- Not until I talk to our attorneys.
Blood pressure 125 over 84.
That's normal.
- I feel a lot better.
- OK.
Maybe a little shaky.
What do you think it was ?
Still not sure.
Just to be safe, why don't you clean
the kitchen, top to bottom.
- It's not food that got him sick.
- Ma, please.
- Close the door, honey.
- [Stevie] I'll leave it open.
The next time Dad passes out no one's
got to break a window to get in.
Hey, Stevie. Is he OK ?
Oh, he's just bullheaded like his dad.
What are you going to do ?
- And your mom ?
- We're doing real good, doc.
Things are good.
[Sam] What am I missing ?
Well, 90% of cases, it comes down
to history and environment.
The environment's all messed up.
Dad's drinking,
Grandma's got more than she
can handle, kid's acting out.
Sounds a lot more serious
than a 24 hour flu.
See, that's why I'm worried.
They've got enough to deal with as is.
If David's got something serious,
I'm not sure how they hold it together.
- Hey, Coop !
- Hey. Ginger !
I didn't recognize you in...
- I didn't recognize you. Hey.
- Hey.
Tell me that is not the girl
from last night.
- Cooper's bringing them to work now ?
- That's it. He's just crossed the line.
- Sam just hugged a stripper.
- With Cooper, you know what you have.
OK, now, let's all calm down.
Sam is not a dog. He never was.
There could be a totally innocent
explanation for this.
What, for stripper hugging ?
Give me one. Give me one.
Like she's here to see the real dog.
Oh, would you look at him.
He's all, "I'm a doctor.
My touch heals."
Can I talk to you ?
- I spoke to our attorneys.
- And ?
Some days I really hate
the Hippocratic oath.
Here is the file
on the second African-American baby
in the hospital nursery.
You're just giving it to us ?
Just like that ?
If you think I'm being nice,
read the name.
- Oh, God.
- What ?
- And my problem becomes your problem.
- Melinda and Duncan Stinson.
- You know them ?
- I got them pregnant.
[Duncan] What do you think
of your handiwork ?
[Naomi] Oh, she is so cute.
If you tell me I've got more hormones
to take I'm going to scream.
No. It's just we need to run
some blood tests on all of you.
What's going on ?
So how are you holding up ?
I'll be better
when we find out who did this.
- All your nurses check out ?
- One moved a few days later.
But her record was impeccable.
- Something happened in that nursery.
- You don't know that.
Doesn't stop you
from tossing the blame my way.
I know that if one of my patients
was in this much pain,
I would be busting my ass
looking for answers.
Thank you.
I hadn't gotten my earful
of Oceanside arrogance today.
Look at him.
How is that guy and the guy who hired
me a stripper the same person ?
He's Cooper.
So this other couple, their baby
was born the same night ?
That's right.
We're running blood tests on them now.
What if the other blood tests
come back positive ?
This is the hard part.
According to California law,
you would say goodbye to Emily
and welcome a new child
into your lives.
That's ridiculous. OK ?
The blood tests are not
going to come back positive.
- I don't care what blood tests say.
- Honey...
No ! No ! I know Emily
is my daughter, OK ?
A mother can feel these things.
That I don't love that other child.
I couldn't love another baby.
I love Emily.
Why don't we just wait for the results
of the blood tests and go from there ?
Emily's had a hard time,
now she has to adjust to a new family ?
The babies are young.
Adoptions take place at this age all
the time. Kids are fine.
It's the parents I'm worried about.
They're the ones who grieve.
Greg O'Brien isn't grieving.
What is up with you and this case ?
Your emotional attachment is huge.
You're one to lecture about
unhealthy emotional attachments.
OK. That was a nice deflection.
But unlike you, I am detaching.
You want to try it ? It's yours.
Light.
Why didn't Allan buy his own bike ?
On our third anniversary, you know,
we took that trip to Italy.
He took me to the town where they made
those because even as a child he had...
...he'd wanted one.
So he saved up his money,
but then his dad split on his mom.
So he had to use his savings
to pay rent and to keep his mom afloat.
He never got the bike.
What ? What ?
Take the bike ! You love it.
I loved it when I thought it was
a cool, sexy, get-me-laid bike,
not some sad, Allan-y,
Cat's in the Cradle bike.
Hey ! Is that stripper
still in your office ?
Entertainer, not stripper. And yes.
And she's been in there all day ? Why ?
- We're trying different techniques.
- Yeah. I'm sure you are.
You know what ? Naomi does not need
Ginger thrown in her face.
Naomi is a big girl. She can handle it.
- Doesn't have to. That's why I'm here.
- [Ginger] Pete ?
Is it supposed to feel tingly ?
"Pete. Is it supposed to feel..."
You know what ? Go.
Go do... Take care of your poor little
stripper girl and her "tingly."
Entertainer. Why are you
so angry at me ? Cooper's the one...
I am trying to take care of my friend !
Cooper is bad, you're worse.
You know why ?
Because you're slippery. Yeah.
You walk around pretending to be
soulful, but you don't take the heat.
You just do whatever you want to do
and you evade. Evade, evade, evade.
Do you need me to kiss you again ?
No !
OK.
You're back.
Nurses' schedules.
Perinatal testing.
Personnel files.
- What did you find ?
- Not a damn thing.
I have been through every one
of these backwards and forwards.
You're so sure my hospital
ruined these people's lives ?
Then help me prove it.
Please, will someone hurry ?
Help ! Help me, please !
Sam ! Sam ! Front !
- Hey ! Hey ! Help !
- Please ! Hurry !
Yeah. I got it.
- Sam !
- Stevie, what's going on ?
Whatever my dad had... [retching]
I got it worse. [moans]
I got home, Grandma made
Dad and me some sandwiches, then...
...pukeville.
What did I tell you about that kitchen ?
- It was just a sandwich.
- That could have killed him.
- Where is your father ?
- At work.
- I didn't want to bother him with this.
- I understand you mean well,
but something you are doing
is making them sick.
This is a family matter, doctor.
It doesn't concern you.
Dell, can you hand carry
Stevie Walker's blood to the lab for me ?
Put a rush on it. Have them screen
for ingestible poisons.
Yeah.
Hey.
I got the test back from the Stinson's.
The O'Brien baby is their baby.
And the Stinson baby
belongs to the O'Brien's.
Yep.
How do you tell someone that their baby
was switched with another baby ?
Damn it.
[Sobbing]
That was the hardest thing
I've ever done.
- You did everything right.
- And Dad doesn't shed a tear.
- How's it going with Naomi ?
- Well, you know. So far, so good.
[Duncan] You know what you put
my wife through, put us through ?
And now you tell us that this other
baby, who we've never met, is sick ?
We did everything you asked us to do.
I know how hard you two
worked to get pregnant.
Letdown after letdown...
the miscarriages, the hormones,
how many shots I had to stick in her.
She could hardly move,
she was so bruised !
- I wish there was something I could do.
- There is something.
You can start by explaining
how you can live with yourself.
Taking money,
promising us a healthy baby.
Duncan, I never promised you perfection.
I promised you a child.
My retirement ! Vacation pay ! Our future !
- Spent it all to have our little girl !
- Duncan ! Please !
I want my money back.
I want my damn money back !
[Baby wailing]
Your husband,
he has a right to be angry.
So do you.
I could just take Sarah and go.
We could just go away.
- No one would find us.
- Except you won't.
Because Emily is your daughter.
And she is sick.
And a mother never
leaves her child behind.
Not a strong mother.
No. No. This isn't happening.
I'm not going to do it.
Come on, baby.
Hey. Stevie Walker's lab results.
- Coprine ?
- From the mushroom ?
Ink cap mushrooms contain coprine.
It acts like a natural form of Antabuse.
Ingest the mushroom
and drink alcohol, you get...
- Really, really sick.
- So someone's poisoning Stevie ?
Any luck ?
I think we know when
the switch happened.
We have baby Emily's hospital record
and baby Sarah's hospital records.
And then on day two, they switch.
Emily becomes Sarah
and Sarah becomes Emily ?
What about this nurse... left town ?
No. She was in the ER of my hospital.
Laid out with the flu,
- hooked up to an IV all night.
- So we're back to square one ?
My patient is being poisoned
by his own dear sweet mother.
She's dosing him with ink cap mushrooms,
which means he's drinking... boom.
On the floor.
- Baby switch.
- Poisoning ?
For real ? Baby... Hi.
You are not a member of this practice
so you have to go ahead and unhear that.
Wow. I thought I had a problem.
We can help you with yours,
since we're not getting anywhere.
I just... I don't know. I got to stop
the mother from hurting her son.
Now she's also poisoning her grandson.
But I can't send her to jail, can I ?
How could a parent do that to a child ?
Let me see the visitors log again.
Yeah.
The first two days, one person
was there constantly.
A parent did that to a child.
What you're doing is a crime.
You can't go around poisoning people.
No. I only meant it for David.
I didn't know Stevie was drinking.
So it's OK to poison your own son ?
Every time he takes a drink,
he pays for it.
That's how you teach my David a lesson.
You have to stop doing this. Now.
No. My family, we're weak
when it comes to this.
David's not weak, he's an alcoholic.
And some old-world remedy will not
guarantee that he'll stop drinking.
- I'm a doctor and I'm telling you...
- What ? You ? [laughs]
You're like all the other doctors.
Oh, you make him go to a 12-step group,
but do you make him stop drinking ?
No ! So I did.
Please. You can't tell David.
This will work.
As David's doctor,
I can't let it happen. I'm sorry.
Then you might as well have me arrested.
Because I don't know how long I've got,
and my family means everything.
If I don't protect them, who will ?
[Addison] From birth your baby, your
biological baby... It was difficult.
She had a neurological problem.
She did ?
Your C-section caused
severe post labor pain,
so you were sedated
for most of the first two days.
You wouldn't have been aware
of how serious it was.
But you were, Mr. Stinson.
You were in the nursery 24-7. And then
when your daughter was two days old,
she seized while you were holding her.
What are you saying ?
What are you saying ? I'm...
She's saying the next time
you were in the nursery alone,
- is when the babies were switched.
- [Addison] You were the only one there.
It would be easy to switch a
security bracelet 'cause she was small.
- I'm not going to stand for this.
- You were that baby's father !
Mr. Stinson, people's lives
have been altered. Your child's life.
You were supposed to take care of her
and instead switched her
because she was sick.
I think this is your
opportunity to explain to us...
No, you explain.
You explain !
Three years and $250,000
and all my wife's hopes and dreams !
- Oh, my God.
- Melinda...
...this other family, they can have
more kids, healthy kids. You see ?
[Melinda] Duncan.
[Duncan] This isn't... I'm not a...
Melinda, honey.
How could you give my baby
to somebody else ?
How could you ?
What switches in your brain
makes it OK to steal a child ?
Adults are there to protect children,
to keep them from harm.
You're angry at yourself.
What ? I'm talking about Duncan
Stinson. I'm angry about that.
Right. Before that it was Greg O'Brien.
But it's really about you.
Don't do the shrink thing, Violet.
You can't blame yourself for not being
able to make her better, Cooper.
She's just a baby.
We're here because you have
a problem with alcohol.
A problem ? [laughs] No.
- I have a glass of wine or a beer.
- Dave.
Once, twice a week, maybe I drink
more than I should. Tops.
We need to get you into treatment.
Why ? Because I like beer ?
Come on. I don't need treatment.
- Dave.
- Sorry.
Well, you should know that I figured out
why you've been getting sick.
You've developed an allergy to alcohol.
- What ? That's not possible.
- Well, it's rare.
Yeah, it's really rare.
And it probably runs in the family.
So, I mean, you've seen
what happens when you drink.
- That's going to happen every time.
- [Dave] So, what ?
- I have to stop drinking ?
- Yeah, you do. That's my diagnosis.
Now, if you continue to get sick...
...then I'm going to have to consider
that it's something much more serious.
Gloria, you're going to help Dave
make sure that never happens ?
Not even once ?
Oh, yes. Yes. Well, he...
Dave's learned his lesson.
[Knock on door]
Come in.
Would you like to sit down ?
I think it might be helpful for us
to talk about what happened.
Your husband...
Is not my husband anymore.
[Sighs deeply]
- That other little girl...
- Your daughter.
She's so sick that she could die ?
Yes.
Before she's five-years-old ?
Yes.
[ ? James Blunt : Same Mistake]
Melinda.
This is Emily.
This is your Mama.
This is Emily.
- Hey.
- [Emily murmuring]
This is a mistake. I can't.
- I thought it would feel like...
- Listen.
It is natural that you would feel
like a stranger at first.
It'll get better.
- She's so small.
- [Cooper] The condition she has...
...it's caused a failure to thrive.
- She's so beautiful.
- I know.
I sing her to sleep.
Sarah likes...
It's going to sound stupid, but,
I sing Madonna songs, they're the only
ones I know all the words to.
But they work.
She goes to sleep so easy.
Emily screams...
...every two hours.
But if I put her on my chest,
the sound of my heartbeat...
Your heartbeat.
It calms her.
Sarah is beautiful too.
Look at her.
No. I can't.
- I can't.
- You have to.
She's yours. A mother
never leaves her child behind.
Hi.
Hi, Sarah.
[Sniffling]
I thought I couldn't watch her die.
And now, I can't let her go.
[Charlotte sniffling]
- I'll get you a tissue.
- I'm fine.
It's OK. It's been a big day.
Montgomery.
I'm Chief to over 200 physicians.
You call this a big day ?
This place is making you soft.
God. I am a wreck.
Long day.
I just sent a man to jail
for trying to get rid of his own kid,
but your day sounds really hard.
I didn't know.
Yeah, well, of course not.
You spent the entire day dealing
with the perils of aromatherapy
and, uh... your stripper.
I know you don't believe me,
but I like my women real.
Real skin,
real breasts,
real lines around their eyes that mean
they've really lived and had pain.
You show me that woman,
and I'm interested.
And not in a "slippery" way.
And, Addison ?
I think it's great that you try
to take care of Naomi. But...
...who takes care of you ?
No Ginger. She can't be her.
Ginger cannot be her.
You have to translate from freaked out
language to normal people language.
The first woman you date
after me has to be...
She has to...
Look, she cannot be some stripper
with clear platforms
and a suspicious skin condition.
- Eventually I'm going to start dating.
- I know that.
And when that happens, you do not
get to have a say in who I date.
I know that.
- So...
- So fine. Date.
- But it can't be Ginger.
- And we're back to crazy.
You know, I'm a catch.
I do the New York Times crossword
puzzle in pen,
I eat vegetables,
I have a very good sense of humor,
and I don't do Pilates because I think
it's fun. I mean, have you seen me ?
If you date Ginger after you were with
me, if she is what you are choosing,
if your big dream is
rashy-skinned strippers,
then what...
- What were you...
- What was I doing with you ?
Forget it.
The next girl I date will be amazing.
She will be beautiful,
she will be intelligent
and she will be rash-free.
- She'll be better than me ?
- She will be way better than you.
OK ?
OK. That's sweet. Thank you.
[ ? A Fine Frenzy :
Hope For the Hopeless]
[Cooper] Hey, Vi, open up !
I need to borrow some tools.
The frame's still in one piece.
The wheels came off and the chain,
but I think I might need a blowtorch.
Or a hacksaw. Do you have a hacksaw ?
- Is this helping ?
- Yeah. Yeah, actually.
It's very therapeutic.
Damn it. I'm so full of crap.
I went over to Allan's with the bike.
Mmm.
But he'd already gotten one. From Cami.
Yes, he told her the bike story.
It took him three years
to tell me the bike story.
They've been together, what, a day ?
And he told her the bike story.
- I'm an idiot.
- No, you're not.
No, I am. I am. I am.
He's married. It's over. I am an idiot.
Violet. You are not.
You're just, you're...
You're just honest.
That's your fatal flaw.
It's my favorite thing about you.
All right. Come here.
Want to help run the bike over
with my car ?
Absolutely.
[Naomi] Look at him sitting up there
with that dumb little dog.
Well, if you want, we could...
I mean, you want to go say hi ? Or...
Or you could just look a little longer.
Yeah, the last one.
OK.