Private Eyes (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Hog Day Afternoon / So You Think You Can Kill! - full transcript
Shade ends up in the middle of a hostage situation in a high-rise office, while Maz attempts to control the situation on the ground.
How can you be hungry?
You just had a smoothie.
- A smoothie's not real food.
- C'mon, it had spinach...
- Blech!
- Acai berry...
- Ass berry.
- Hemp seed milk.
Who milks a hemp seed?
There's nothing wrong with a
little detox every once in a while.
Imagine all those nutrients
coursing through your veins.
Thanks, Dr. Oz, but I'd rather
imagine a burger and fries.
- Hey. He's turning.
- You're changing the subject.
Absolutely. Don't lose him.
Is this the GreatLife building?
I had a GreatLife toaster
once. And a hair dryer.
Till I tried to dry my hair while making
toast. Almost blew up the kitchen.
That's what you get for multitasking.
Coming back to work at night?
Boy, that's dedication.
Or he spotted our tail.
He's still working that neck brace.
You know, he might actually be hurt.
C'mon...
this case reeks of insurance
fraud from a mile away.
- You said so yourself.
- Yeah, but for once,
it'd be nice if the cynic
in me was wrong.
If he is really hurt, we lose
that fat insurance commission.
Right. Let's nail his ass.
Here, take an earpiece.
You follow him in, I'll make sure
he doesn't slip out the side.
Alright.
He's headed for the elevator.
Five bucks says he uses a
handkerchief to press the button.
Ha! Could be wrong.
So?
Yeah, I'll get back to you. I gotta go.
Why does it have to be double digits?
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
Hey, Shade,
I'm covering the side of the
building. You got anything?
I've just gone 14 flights of
stairs to watch a staff meeting.
- Whaddya think?
- I think they got coffee.
I think they got Danish.
I think they're hunkering down.
Oh, great, so the whole day's a bust.
And now you've just made
me hungrier than ever.
Wanna grab a burger after this?
Yeah, alright, you win.
How 'bout we go to that place
with the double bacon meat bomb?
You read my mind.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
Alright, everybody!
Cell phones, wallets, keys on the
table and get on the floor! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go! What's happening?
Think I'm gonna have to take
a rain check on that burger.
♪ I see you and you see me ♪
♪ Watch you blowin' the lines
when you're making a scene ♪
♪ Oh boy, you've got to know ♪
♪ What my head overlooks ♪
♪ The senses will show to my heart ♪
♪ When it's watching for lies ♪
♪ 'Cause you can't escape my ♪
♪ Private Eyes ♪
♪ They're watching you ♪
♪ Private Eyes ♪
♪ They're watching you,
watching you, watching you ♪
♪ Watching you ♪
I count three gunmen, armed.
Where the hell'd they come from?
They didn't come in this way.
How many hostages?
- Four.
- Don't anybody try to be a hero.
I hear cops, I see sirens,
somebody is gonna eat a bullet,
you hear me? Hey!
- Hey! Hey!
- Who? Me?
- Ow!
- Careful, his neck!
What did I say?
I'm sorry, sir, but it was
a present from my girlfriend.
- Really?
- OK, it was from my mother.
OK, well...
- (WOMAN WHIMPERING)
- Looks like a robbery.
With three gunmen? How much
money are these people carrying?
What else could it be? This
place makes household gadgets.
Please. Please, whatever it is
that you want...
Ohh...
Hold on. The leader's
grabbing one of the women.
- You're Patricia Marquand?
- That's right. I'm the CEO.
Good. Then I got everything I want.
Move. Out of this room, let's go.
What about my staff? You'll let them go?
That depends how well you follow orders.
- Now move!
- What's happening?
- Where are we going?
- Twelfth floor.
Shade?
- OK, I'm coming in.
- No! Stay outside.
Are you on your way out?
I'm going to stay in here
and find out what I can.
The more information we can give
the cops, the better.
Not if you get killed in the process.
Well, we can't just leave these people.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Oh, hey Zoe, listen...
Hey, I'm just locking up for the night.
No, no, no. Don't leave.
We have a hostage crisis.
- Who?
- Me. Shade.
You're being held hostage!?
No, other people. I'm calling
Maz now. I'll conference you in.
Alright.
Let's go, Hazards! (HUMMING)
Oh... you're leaving early?
Yeah, I got tickets to
the basketball game.
Oh, OK. I'm just gonna
catch up on some filing.
Those are both for you? That's great.
- Good luck to you.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hey, Inspector Carson.
- What a pleasant surprise.
- Ma'am.
Here are my notes on the Morgan case.
I think it's worth
re-canvassing the neighbours.
I absolutely agree. I've actually set up
another door-to-door tomorrow morning.
- You did?
- Very good.
Calling it a night, are we, Mazhari?
No! No, no, no.
I just put on my jacket
because it is cold in here.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me just a second. Let me get that.
OK, yeah, it's my mother.
Just gonna let it...
She's probably just lonely. She
calls me all the time at work.
Let's get a coffee,
get to work here, huh?
As I was saying... Sylvia Morgan...
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Just a second.
Yeah, I'm gonna let it go to voicemail.
She can just talk to her heart's content.
It seems like your mom really
needs to get a hold of you.
I'm sure she's just lonely.
She likes to talk.
You sure?
'Cause it could be an emergency.
- I doubt it.
- She could've fallen.
She spends a lot of time lying down.
No, she has a point. Let's get the phone.
Yeah. Great. Yeah. Uh...
- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, Maz.
Yeah, I'm just kind of
busy at work right now,
so unless this is an emergency,
- maybe we can talk later...
- Maz, shut up and listen.
- We have a hostage situation.
- What?
OK...
Let's go, go! OK!
- Try it again.
- I told you. It's not going to work.
Here. Give it to me.
Come on!
Damn... God!
Listen, Shade, Maz and the cops
are on their way. Where are you?
- I'm in the ceiling.
- What? You're where?
Just gimme a minute,
I'm trying to listen.
- How come it won't open?
- This lab area
has a higher level of security
than the rest of the building.
- Then how do you get in?
- I can't.
- At least not after hours.
- But you're the CEO.
Doesn't matter. The whole lab
goes into lockdown after 6 PM,
when the evening shift leaves.
And it doesn't reset until midnight.
That's two hours from now.
I am not waiting for some dumb computer.
There is one way.
In case of fire, all doors release.
Oh, you want me to pull the alarm,
so suddenly this place is
swarming with cops and firemen?
Are you trying to get your people killed?
I'm just trying to be helpful.
I don't want to see anyone get hurt.
Fine. You tell them to settle
in for a long night. Let's go. Go.
Angie? You still there?
Yes, I'm still here. The question
is, why are you still in there?
Looks like the gunmen are after
something in the twelfth floor lab.
- Like what?
- I don't know, but whatever it is,
it's worth taking four people hostage.
And it looks like they
have to wait till midnight
until the time lock resets.
OK, I'll relay to Maz,
but get the hell out of there.
Copy that.
Hey, Maz. I've got an update.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
(SIREN BLARING)
OK, so the gunmen are after
something in the lab. Like what?
I don't know.
Tools. Equipment. Appliances.
They're going to a lot of
trouble to steal a few toasters.
- Wait a second. Something's going on.
- What? Is Shade with you?
Maz, I think they're
sealing the building.
Angie, talk to me, please.
I'm fine? And I'm inside.
- You're what!? Angie!
- Call you later.
Hello?
- Shade? I'm in.
- In where?
- In the building.
- But you told me to get out.
- Yeah, I know.
- So then you're in?
I thought you might
need help getting out.
- But now we're both in.
- Who's on first again?
Fine. Where are you?
Arriving on the fourteenth
floor. Isn't that where you are?
No. I was on the twelfth floor.
But now I'm on the ground floor.
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
- (DOOR CLOSING)
Hold on. Someone's coming!
Angie, come in!
(SIRENS BLARING)
Get those barricades up!
So let me get this straight.
Your friends, the private eyes,
are now both in the building.
- That's a good point.
- I see that as a good thing.
Now we've got eyes and
ears on the inside.
- That's true... That's also true.
- Untrained eyes and ears.
Two civilians who could screw
up an already bad situation.
That's not a good thing,
Detective Mazhari.
That is a disaster in the making.
Inspector Carson, I can
assure you, they are pros.
I'm positive they have
the situation well in hand.
Alright, I'm up here on the
14th floor. Where are you?
- I'm hiding in an office.
- Which one?
I don't know.
There's GreatLife products everywhere.
Is the coast clear yet?
Yeah, the coast is clear.
Let's get the hell outta here.
Who the hell are you?
- The unluckiest guy in town.
- Who?
Move it!
Who's that?
That's what I want to know.
Um, Jack Purdue.
GreatLife sales rep from
Sudbury. I just blew into town.
I thought I'd come by
the old HQ and say hi.
Bad timing, man.
Wallet, keys and cell phone on the table.
Now.
Good. Now sit down
and shut up.
Take care of the keys and wallets.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Are you out yet?
- Not exactly.
What? Stop clowning around
and get outta there!
I'd love to. Just one small problem.
- Shade's now a hostage.
- What!?
- Hey.
- Hey.
That's quite the situation
you walked into.
Any idea what this is all about?
Nobody tells me anything.
You ever been to that
lab on the twelfth floor?
No, that's R&D.
You have any idea what
they keep in there?
That's above my pay grade.
Say... have we met before?
You spend much time in Sudbury?
No. With all my cats,
- I don't get a chance to travel much.
- Hey, you two, shut up!
So, uh, what happened there?
Copy room incident.
My necktie got caught
in the paper shredder.
- Really?
- Oh, it was harrowing.
Whirring blades coming
closer and closer...
My life flashed before my eyes.
Kinda like now.
Look, I know things
look dire at the moment,
but I have every confidence
that things will get
better before too long.
Look, buddy. I'm the head
of Customer Relations.
So?
It was my team that
fielded all those calls
from the customers whose
GreatLife Sonic Wave Plungers
exploded their toilets.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I really don't.
I know a pile of crap when I hear it.
Hey. I updated Maz on your situation.
(SNEEZING)
- Yeah, I can guess his reaction.
- Why did you come back up?
- I thought you were in trouble.
- And which one of us is a hostage now?
Can we discuss this later?
Don't do anything stupid.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
(PHONE RINGING)
What's going on? Are you guys OK?
I'm fine. But Shade's now a hostage too.
- What!?
- Yeah, listen, it's a long story.
The gunmen are looking for
something in the lab here.
Can you dig into GreatLife,
see what's worth taking hostages for?
OK. Hey, boss...
- Yeah.
- Shade's gonna be alright, isn't he?
Of course. Yeah, sure.
You know, for a P.I.,
you're a lousy liar.
Get to work.
- So Matt Shade is now a hostage too?
- Unforeseen complication.
I think it was a foreseen complication.
- I told you to get them out of there.
- In the good news department,
Shade's partner, Angie, is still
running around the building.
Which...
could also be bad news.
There's nothing we can do about it now.
We need to figure out
what these people want
before it blows up in all our faces.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
Hey man,
- you OK?
- Not good with stress.
Who is? Don't worry, we're
gonna get out of this, OK?
Do you have any idea
what these guys are after?
Maybe R&D or something.
What would they be after in there?
I don't know. I'm not up on all
the secret development projects.
Charmaine could tell you more.
She's head of Marketing and Promotions.
Oh no...
(HEAVY BREATHING)
The irony is,
I'm chief accountant.
You'd think I'd be used to
high-pressure situations.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
This is an extreme situation.
True. Compared to this fiasco,
the nationwide roll-out
of our automatic hotdog maker,
the Frankenformer, was a cake walk.
Hey, Shade.
I just heard from Maz.
The building's surrounded.
- What are the cops gonna do?
- I don't know.
If they storm the building,
these guys might freak out
and start killing hostages.
- We can't let that happen.
- I guess it's time to go to Plan B.
- We have a Plan B?
- One of the gunmen
just downed his third bottle of water.
I'm betting a bathroom break's
in his near future.
Understood. I'll see what I can do.
Just wish I had some kind of weapon.
- Good luck.
- SWAT has secured the neighborhood.
We have a four-block perimeter.
Alright. I'm also placing snipers
in the building on the corner.
They'll have a clear shot
at the fourteenth floor.
Whoa, snipers? That sounds like a...
really good idea.
Charmaine?
My horoscope told me
not to go out tonight.
It's gonna be OK.
I didn't know that we had
an office in Sudbury.
I hear these guys may be
after something in the R&D lab?
It's the Robo-Slow.
What's the Robo-Slow?
It's a secret project.
It's a voice-activated slow cooker.
You tell it what you want
for dinner, it cooks it.
- You're kidding.
- If the prototype
passes testing, we're
projecting worldwide sales
upwards of 50 million dollars.
Not that it matters anymore,
because we're not
getting out of here alive.
Alright, time to go shopping.
Oh, man... I need air.
- Sit down.
- I can't breathe.
I can make that permanent.
I gotta get out of here, I can't breathe!
- Take it easy, man.
- I gotta get out! I need air!
Alright,
next person who tries anything
gets a bullet to the head.
- Angie, come in.
- Yeah.
One of the hostages,
a guy named Mark, tried to make
a run for it. He got tazed.
Yeah, I just saw him. I think
they're taking him downstairs.
Fearless leader's getting antsy.
I don't think he's gonna
make it till midnight.
Maz just told me SWAT's
locked down the neighbourhood.
OK.
I need to talk to the CEO,
Patricia. I'll check in later.
I don't know who you are,
but I don't have any
sales reps in Sudbury.
My name is Matt Shade.
I'm a private investigator.
My partner's in the building
too. We're here to help.
- How do I know I can trust you?
- You don't.
But we've notified the police.
SWAT team is outside.
Gotta take a leak.
How do you know about the Robo-Slow?
That's a top secret project.
- Charmaine told me.
- Of course she did.
We've tried to keep it under wraps,
but in a company this size,
there are bound to be leaks.
- Is it patented?
- No, not yet.
So if someone were to steal it
and beat you to market...
Not so easy. They'd have
to have manufacturing plants
and distribution channels
already in place.
Right.
Anyone come to mind?
Our main competitor.
A housewares company called Best Times.
But I can't believe they'd do
something like this.
You'd be surprised.
(WHIRRING)
Hey.
Ah! Son of a bitch!
And then there were two.
Way to go.
Thomas Redfield.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Angie, gimme some good news.
I just took down one of the gunmen.
His name's Thomas Redfield.
Who are you talking to?
Angie took out one of the hostage takers.
Alright, well, put her on speaker.
Listen, I'm sending you a picture
of his driver's license right now.
We think they're after
a new GreatLife prototype.
Alright, we'll look into it,
but in the meantime,
I need you to stand down.
- But I can help.
- I'm ordering you to find a safe room,
secure yourself until help arrives.
We will be in touch if we need you.
Detective Mazhari,
- do not engage with Everett again.
- Yes, ma'am. I mean no, ma'am.
Officer Powers, come with me.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
I'm not supposed to be talking to you.
Just listen, then. Can you look
into the Robo-Slow angle, please?
Somebody's financing this operation.
Maybe GreatLife's
competition is playing dirty.
We are not having this
conversation, you got it?
Fine. I also didn't ask you to copy Zoe
on the police report on Redfield.
Oy vey.
Empty?
Well, now it's a party.
Psst!
I saw you talking to Charmaine earlier.
Did she mention me?
No. Why?
No reason.
- Are you sure we haven't met before?
- No.
- Last year's conference in Petawawa?
- Uh-uh.
- Team building laser tag?
- Mm-mm.
- Corporate karaoke retreat?
- I think I would remember that.
Hey, how's the pain?
Well, seeing as how we may not
make it out of here alive...
It's nothing. I'm fine.
So you're faking it?
I've been promising Mom
a cruise for years.
I finally save the money and Mr.
Bickles needs emergency surgery.
Mr. Bickles?
My oldest cat. Urinary obstruction.
So you needed some quick cash.
Mom gets her cruise,
Mr. Bickles gets to pee.
It's what I call a win-win, my friend.
Shade, I've got Zoe on the line.
Maz called. The search on
Thomas Redfield came back clean.
- No priors, not even a parking ticket.
- There's something else.
He didn't have any bullets in his gun.
What do you think the chances
are the other guys don't either?
Don't even think about it.
Why would a guy like Redfield be
involved in something like this?
I don't know. Maz said he
works for a recycling company.
I called the dispatcher
and they said he's on shift.
- Recycling? Do you mean Apex Recycling?
- Yeah, how'd you know?
Because earlier, I saw one of their
dumpsters parked in the loading bay.
How many are on his crew tonight?
Um... him plus two.
- That's three guys.
- And three gunmen.
- What're you thinking?
- Why would you need three gunmen
to steal a souped-up slow cooker?
Something's hinky.
I gotta talk to Patricia again.
OK. I'm gonna find the hostage
they tazed, see if he's OK.
- Ma'am? You should see this.
- What is it?
I ran a check on the members
of the recycling crew
like you asked. Two of them,
Thomas Redfield
and Steven MacGruder, came back clean.
- OK. And the third one?
- Yeah, not so much.
Darryl Fenwick. Convicted
of multiple instances
of violent assault,
including unlawful possession
of a firearm and armed robbery.
Well, I guess we know
who's in charge up there.
Where's Detective Mazhari?
I don't know.
Um, well,
I think I saw him on his phone earlier.
- Oh, his mother again?
- Maybe.
Um... I hear she gets lonely.
OK, you know what? We need to
establish a line of communication here,
find out what these
guys are really after.
OK, HQ says that the hostage
negotiator is on his way,
so it'll be about 15 minutes
Right, well, we can't wait that long.
Relax, Powers. I did hostage
negotiation for ten years
before coming here.
Quiet back there! Roll record, please.
(PHONE RINGING)
Who's calling here?
Hello?
Yes, this is Inspector Mathilda Carson
of the Metropolitan Police.
Who am I speaking to?
Where are you?
Outside the building, sir.
And we are ready
to get you anything you need to
bring this to a safe conclusion.
No, no, no. You stay the hell away, OK?
'Cause I see any cops,
or this phone rings again,
I'm gonna start killing hostages.
He hung up.
These guys are serious.
Prep the SWAT team.
The cops? What the hell?
Hey, Tommy's not back from the john.
OK.
You keep an eye on these morons.
I'll be back.
Looks like the cops just
called. Leader's on the move.
I still haven't located
the other hostage. Oh!
What do you mean, the cops are outside?
I don't know! I got a call
from the negotiator.
Oh my god. Where's Tommy?
I can't find him. You're on your own.
- Are you kidding me?
- No, I'm not kidding you!
This is not my fault, alright?
This was your idea.
It was such a simple plan.
How the hell could you mess it up?
♪
Wait, you recognised him?
Yeah, I'm sure it's the guy I saw earlier
in the elevator, except this
time he looks less like a hostage
and more like a criminal mastermind.
So this is all a scam.
It's an inside job.
- But what's he after?
- Not the prototype.
I found them in the basement. Plus,
he would know about the
lock on the R&D lab.
The hostages, the R&D lab distraction...
maybe he's playing us for time.
- To do what?
- How did the cops know we're here?
- On this floor? In this office?
- I don't know.
Alright.
Someone in here has been
talking to the cops.
It's not me.
I can personally vouch for
this gentle flower of a woman.
You all need to hear this:
no one is coming to rescue you.
We're sticking to the plan.
And until I find out who the traitor is,
you're all skating on thin ice.
Skating.
Now I know where I've seen you...
- (GRUNTING)
- Oh!
Hey, what the hell's going on?
Uh, Wallace here was
gonna make a run for it,
and after what happened to Mark,
I didn't want to let that happen.
You're not gonna make that same
mistake again, are you, Wallace?
No, sir.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Hey, Maz.
Alright, Angie, I just talked to
the CEO of GreatLife's competition.
They're already manufacturing
their own A.I. microwave
and they have zero interest
in the Robo-Slow, so...
That's as far as I got with...
- that.
- Is that Angie?
Maybe.
We think the leader's name is
Darryl Fenwick. He's got priors,
including armed robbery. And
that guy you took out, Redfield?
You'll never guess who his cousin is.
One of the hostages.
He works for GreatLife.
Oh. You already knew that.
I just found out. His name's Mark
Bates, he's head of accounting.
Wait a second.
If this isn't about a slow cooker,
then what are they after?
I don't know,
but I think it has something to do
with that recycling bin.
I'm going to go stake out
the loading dock.
OK, but Inspector Carson is sending
SWAT in through the parking garage.
I don't like the sound
of that. Can't you stall them?
- So you're the Shadow!
- Shh!
I'm also a P.I.
I'm sorry I had to hit you, Wallace,
but I can't let these guys
find out who I really am.
Yeah, yeah, I'm hip.
But I think you bruised a rib, Shadow.
Shh! Don't call me that.
Oh, right. Sorry. My bad.
So, a P.I.?
Why are you really here?
So I'm busted.
Yeah, you are, but right now
you're the least of my worries.
Hey, Shade. Fresh Intel on the leader.
He's got a record. Robbery and assault.
Can't it ever be good news, Everett?
Uh, SWAT's been ordered
to surround the building?
That dumpster's still down here
in the loading dock,
but now the lid's open. (GASPING)
I'll get back to you.
- I can't believe Mark's behind this.
- What would be so big
that he would need a dumpster
to get it out of here?
Expensive art? High grade computers?
No, there's really nothing.
Unless...
- Smart watches?
- They're gifts for the staff.
We've had a banner year.
I was gonna make
an announcement tomorrow,
but nobody really knows
about them except me.
Mark's chief accountant.
He must've found out.
Where are the watches now?
In the basement lockup.
But if anybody tries to break
in, it would set off the alarm.
I'm the only one with a key card...
Oh, wait...
that guy kept it
to get back into the lab.
At least that's what
he wants us to believe.
How many watches are we talking about?
One for every employee
nationwide. Roughly 2,200.
- And each watch is worth...?
- A little over $1,000.
Partner, you'll never believe
what I just found.
About two million dollars
in smart watches?
You're no fun at all.
Hey, you guys are spending
an awful lot of time together.
Us? No, not really.
Not really? Well,
it's time to break it up.
Hey...
Who the hell are you?
Don't suppose you're a hockey fan?
Oh... Matt Shade.
What have we got here? Oh!
Everett and Shade,
Private Investigations.
I prefer Shade and Everett,
but what's in a name?
So you're the one who brought the cops.
No, they drove themselves.
That's funny.
OK, smartass, where's your partner?
Who knows?
Hey, uh, Everett?
- Who's this?
- This is your worst nightmare.
So why don't you get up to the boardroom
before I put a bullet
in your partner's head?
(RADIO TRANSMISSIONS)
(BEEPING)
Clear. Let's go.
- Walk.
- Whoa, take it easy.
Oh, well!
- What the hell took you so long?
- Slow elevator.
Yeah, sure. OK, where's my other guy?
I don't know. It's so hard
to get good help these days.
Yep, she's your partner alright.
Alright, let's go. Move it, both of you.
- Who was that?
- Must be his partner.
He's a private investigator.
I'm part of his cover.
- Helping him with the case.
- You are?
That's... very brave of you.
Go, go, go.
Look, you know the police are outside.
Why don't you guys just
give yourselves up?
- That way nobody gets hurt.
- OK, yeah.
Thank you for the career advice.
- What are you doing!?
- They know.
What? How?
- Who's she?
- His partner. They're P.I.s.
Oh my God...
This is turning into one
of those days, isn't it, Mark?
I'm sure at some point
this seemed like a genius idea.
After a few beers, you and your
cousin convince his co-workers
to stage a fake hostage scenario.
Which gives your guys time to
transfer the watches to the dumpster.
A few hours later,
you free the hostages...
assuming you have
an emergency escape plan.
Then later, the recycling truck
comes by and picks up its usual load.
Poor Mark, the victim of crazed gunmen,
returns to work tomorrow, a tragic hero.
Nobody the wiser.
Crap! They do know everything.
And now the cops... we're surrounded!
I knew bringing guns into this
- was a big mistake.
- Mine's the only one with bullets.
You think I'd give your idiot
cousin and his buddy loaded guns?
Everything's gonna be fine.
After we take care
of a couple of loose ends.
No, no, no, please... it was
never supposed to come to this.
We've come too far to back down.
I'm running the show now.
You get that dumpster loaded.
I'm gonna take care of everything else.
Walk.
Get going.
You seem pretty calm for
someone surrounded by police.
There's an old subway tunnel
underneath this building.
We broke the maintenance access.
So as soon as those watches are loaded,
- we're history.
- What about the dumpster?
You're the only ones who know about it.
Actually, that's not true.
What about your buddy Tommy?
He might spill the beans on your
whole plan to protect himself.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
Where is he?
We'll tell you if you let us go.
I got another idea.
I start shooting out kneecaps
until you tell me.
OK. Fine.
I'll take you to him.
Good, good. That wasn't
that hard, now, was it?
Let's go. Keep walking. Go.
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
Team, halt.
He's in there.
- You first.
- What's the matter, you don't trust me?
- (CHUCKLING)
- No.
Uh...
I can't find the light switch.
- (SIGHING)
- Wow.
(CRACKLING)
I've been wanting to do that all night.
What the hell did you rig up
over there, Everett?
Well, you remember my toaster-
slash-hair-dryer disaster?
Got me wondering what would
happen if I daisy-chained up
twenty of those GreatLife's
Lightning Prep Veggie-Dicers.
- Hm! Very impressive.
- Yippee-ki-yay.
Drop the weapon!
I got some bad news.
A friend of mine told me
your clip's empty,
- and that gun's got bullets.
- OK. OK.
Gun on the ground. Get on your knees.
Hands behind your back.
Let's go. How you doing?
♪ There's an island
in my mind, she said ♪
♪ We could go, we could go,
we could get it there ♪
♪ There's a city in the wild instead ♪
♪ We can make, we can make,
we can make it, yeah ♪
- You two...
- These two, huh?
You are just lucky that
no one was seriously hurt.
It wasn't luck, Ma'am.
It was thanks to critical information
Detective Mazhari
was able to glean from our sources
on the inside.
That's true. Once I told Maz
the last gunman had no bullets...
He was able to successfully
defuse the situation.
Right. Well, I know spin when I hear it.
Your full report on my desk
before sunrise.
Yours, too.
- Yes, Ma'am.
- Yes, Ma'am.
So, the whole neck brace thing?
Yeah, that was a scam. But this isn't.
Bruised ribs on company property.
- (LAUGHING)
- Yeah, sorry about that.
Now I can say I went
toe-to-toe with Matt Shade.
Oof!
Besides,
I think the bandage looks sexy.
Really?
(LAUGHING)
Do you like cats?
They seem like a happy couple.
- You know who's not gonna be happy?
- The insurance company,
when they have to pay out that new claim.
But we did good tonight, Everett.
I think we deserve a reward.
You thinking what I think
you're thinking?
I'm thinking about a double
bacon meat bomb with fries.
Get out of my head!
You know, I'm now even kicking for a
peanut butter banana milk shake.
That's partner ever.
You just had a smoothie.
- A smoothie's not real food.
- C'mon, it had spinach...
- Blech!
- Acai berry...
- Ass berry.
- Hemp seed milk.
Who milks a hemp seed?
There's nothing wrong with a
little detox every once in a while.
Imagine all those nutrients
coursing through your veins.
Thanks, Dr. Oz, but I'd rather
imagine a burger and fries.
- Hey. He's turning.
- You're changing the subject.
Absolutely. Don't lose him.
Is this the GreatLife building?
I had a GreatLife toaster
once. And a hair dryer.
Till I tried to dry my hair while making
toast. Almost blew up the kitchen.
That's what you get for multitasking.
Coming back to work at night?
Boy, that's dedication.
Or he spotted our tail.
He's still working that neck brace.
You know, he might actually be hurt.
C'mon...
this case reeks of insurance
fraud from a mile away.
- You said so yourself.
- Yeah, but for once,
it'd be nice if the cynic
in me was wrong.
If he is really hurt, we lose
that fat insurance commission.
Right. Let's nail his ass.
Here, take an earpiece.
You follow him in, I'll make sure
he doesn't slip out the side.
Alright.
He's headed for the elevator.
Five bucks says he uses a
handkerchief to press the button.
Ha! Could be wrong.
So?
Yeah, I'll get back to you. I gotta go.
Why does it have to be double digits?
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
Hey, Shade,
I'm covering the side of the
building. You got anything?
I've just gone 14 flights of
stairs to watch a staff meeting.
- Whaddya think?
- I think they got coffee.
I think they got Danish.
I think they're hunkering down.
Oh, great, so the whole day's a bust.
And now you've just made
me hungrier than ever.
Wanna grab a burger after this?
Yeah, alright, you win.
How 'bout we go to that place
with the double bacon meat bomb?
You read my mind.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
Alright, everybody!
Cell phones, wallets, keys on the
table and get on the floor! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go! What's happening?
Think I'm gonna have to take
a rain check on that burger.
♪ I see you and you see me ♪
♪ Watch you blowin' the lines
when you're making a scene ♪
♪ Oh boy, you've got to know ♪
♪ What my head overlooks ♪
♪ The senses will show to my heart ♪
♪ When it's watching for lies ♪
♪ 'Cause you can't escape my ♪
♪ Private Eyes ♪
♪ They're watching you ♪
♪ Private Eyes ♪
♪ They're watching you,
watching you, watching you ♪
♪ Watching you ♪
I count three gunmen, armed.
Where the hell'd they come from?
They didn't come in this way.
How many hostages?
- Four.
- Don't anybody try to be a hero.
I hear cops, I see sirens,
somebody is gonna eat a bullet,
you hear me? Hey!
- Hey! Hey!
- Who? Me?
- Ow!
- Careful, his neck!
What did I say?
I'm sorry, sir, but it was
a present from my girlfriend.
- Really?
- OK, it was from my mother.
OK, well...
- (WOMAN WHIMPERING)
- Looks like a robbery.
With three gunmen? How much
money are these people carrying?
What else could it be? This
place makes household gadgets.
Please. Please, whatever it is
that you want...
Ohh...
Hold on. The leader's
grabbing one of the women.
- You're Patricia Marquand?
- That's right. I'm the CEO.
Good. Then I got everything I want.
Move. Out of this room, let's go.
What about my staff? You'll let them go?
That depends how well you follow orders.
- Now move!
- What's happening?
- Where are we going?
- Twelfth floor.
Shade?
- OK, I'm coming in.
- No! Stay outside.
Are you on your way out?
I'm going to stay in here
and find out what I can.
The more information we can give
the cops, the better.
Not if you get killed in the process.
Well, we can't just leave these people.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Oh, hey Zoe, listen...
Hey, I'm just locking up for the night.
No, no, no. Don't leave.
We have a hostage crisis.
- Who?
- Me. Shade.
You're being held hostage!?
No, other people. I'm calling
Maz now. I'll conference you in.
Alright.
Let's go, Hazards! (HUMMING)
Oh... you're leaving early?
Yeah, I got tickets to
the basketball game.
Oh, OK. I'm just gonna
catch up on some filing.
Those are both for you? That's great.
- Good luck to you.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hey, Inspector Carson.
- What a pleasant surprise.
- Ma'am.
Here are my notes on the Morgan case.
I think it's worth
re-canvassing the neighbours.
I absolutely agree. I've actually set up
another door-to-door tomorrow morning.
- You did?
- Very good.
Calling it a night, are we, Mazhari?
No! No, no, no.
I just put on my jacket
because it is cold in here.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me just a second. Let me get that.
OK, yeah, it's my mother.
Just gonna let it...
She's probably just lonely. She
calls me all the time at work.
Let's get a coffee,
get to work here, huh?
As I was saying... Sylvia Morgan...
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Just a second.
Yeah, I'm gonna let it go to voicemail.
She can just talk to her heart's content.
It seems like your mom really
needs to get a hold of you.
I'm sure she's just lonely.
She likes to talk.
You sure?
'Cause it could be an emergency.
- I doubt it.
- She could've fallen.
She spends a lot of time lying down.
No, she has a point. Let's get the phone.
Yeah. Great. Yeah. Uh...
- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, Maz.
Yeah, I'm just kind of
busy at work right now,
so unless this is an emergency,
- maybe we can talk later...
- Maz, shut up and listen.
- We have a hostage situation.
- What?
OK...
Let's go, go! OK!
- Try it again.
- I told you. It's not going to work.
Here. Give it to me.
Come on!
Damn... God!
Listen, Shade, Maz and the cops
are on their way. Where are you?
- I'm in the ceiling.
- What? You're where?
Just gimme a minute,
I'm trying to listen.
- How come it won't open?
- This lab area
has a higher level of security
than the rest of the building.
- Then how do you get in?
- I can't.
- At least not after hours.
- But you're the CEO.
Doesn't matter. The whole lab
goes into lockdown after 6 PM,
when the evening shift leaves.
And it doesn't reset until midnight.
That's two hours from now.
I am not waiting for some dumb computer.
There is one way.
In case of fire, all doors release.
Oh, you want me to pull the alarm,
so suddenly this place is
swarming with cops and firemen?
Are you trying to get your people killed?
I'm just trying to be helpful.
I don't want to see anyone get hurt.
Fine. You tell them to settle
in for a long night. Let's go. Go.
Angie? You still there?
Yes, I'm still here. The question
is, why are you still in there?
Looks like the gunmen are after
something in the twelfth floor lab.
- Like what?
- I don't know, but whatever it is,
it's worth taking four people hostage.
And it looks like they
have to wait till midnight
until the time lock resets.
OK, I'll relay to Maz,
but get the hell out of there.
Copy that.
Hey, Maz. I've got an update.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
(SIREN BLARING)
OK, so the gunmen are after
something in the lab. Like what?
I don't know.
Tools. Equipment. Appliances.
They're going to a lot of
trouble to steal a few toasters.
- Wait a second. Something's going on.
- What? Is Shade with you?
Maz, I think they're
sealing the building.
Angie, talk to me, please.
I'm fine? And I'm inside.
- You're what!? Angie!
- Call you later.
Hello?
- Shade? I'm in.
- In where?
- In the building.
- But you told me to get out.
- Yeah, I know.
- So then you're in?
I thought you might
need help getting out.
- But now we're both in.
- Who's on first again?
Fine. Where are you?
Arriving on the fourteenth
floor. Isn't that where you are?
No. I was on the twelfth floor.
But now I'm on the ground floor.
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
- (DOOR CLOSING)
Hold on. Someone's coming!
Angie, come in!
(SIRENS BLARING)
Get those barricades up!
So let me get this straight.
Your friends, the private eyes,
are now both in the building.
- That's a good point.
- I see that as a good thing.
Now we've got eyes and
ears on the inside.
- That's true... That's also true.
- Untrained eyes and ears.
Two civilians who could screw
up an already bad situation.
That's not a good thing,
Detective Mazhari.
That is a disaster in the making.
Inspector Carson, I can
assure you, they are pros.
I'm positive they have
the situation well in hand.
Alright, I'm up here on the
14th floor. Where are you?
- I'm hiding in an office.
- Which one?
I don't know.
There's GreatLife products everywhere.
Is the coast clear yet?
Yeah, the coast is clear.
Let's get the hell outta here.
Who the hell are you?
- The unluckiest guy in town.
- Who?
Move it!
Who's that?
That's what I want to know.
Um, Jack Purdue.
GreatLife sales rep from
Sudbury. I just blew into town.
I thought I'd come by
the old HQ and say hi.
Bad timing, man.
Wallet, keys and cell phone on the table.
Now.
Good. Now sit down
and shut up.
Take care of the keys and wallets.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Are you out yet?
- Not exactly.
What? Stop clowning around
and get outta there!
I'd love to. Just one small problem.
- Shade's now a hostage.
- What!?
- Hey.
- Hey.
That's quite the situation
you walked into.
Any idea what this is all about?
Nobody tells me anything.
You ever been to that
lab on the twelfth floor?
No, that's R&D.
You have any idea what
they keep in there?
That's above my pay grade.
Say... have we met before?
You spend much time in Sudbury?
No. With all my cats,
- I don't get a chance to travel much.
- Hey, you two, shut up!
So, uh, what happened there?
Copy room incident.
My necktie got caught
in the paper shredder.
- Really?
- Oh, it was harrowing.
Whirring blades coming
closer and closer...
My life flashed before my eyes.
Kinda like now.
Look, I know things
look dire at the moment,
but I have every confidence
that things will get
better before too long.
Look, buddy. I'm the head
of Customer Relations.
So?
It was my team that
fielded all those calls
from the customers whose
GreatLife Sonic Wave Plungers
exploded their toilets.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I really don't.
I know a pile of crap when I hear it.
Hey. I updated Maz on your situation.
(SNEEZING)
- Yeah, I can guess his reaction.
- Why did you come back up?
- I thought you were in trouble.
- And which one of us is a hostage now?
Can we discuss this later?
Don't do anything stupid.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
(PHONE RINGING)
What's going on? Are you guys OK?
I'm fine. But Shade's now a hostage too.
- What!?
- Yeah, listen, it's a long story.
The gunmen are looking for
something in the lab here.
Can you dig into GreatLife,
see what's worth taking hostages for?
OK. Hey, boss...
- Yeah.
- Shade's gonna be alright, isn't he?
Of course. Yeah, sure.
You know, for a P.I.,
you're a lousy liar.
Get to work.
- So Matt Shade is now a hostage too?
- Unforeseen complication.
I think it was a foreseen complication.
- I told you to get them out of there.
- In the good news department,
Shade's partner, Angie, is still
running around the building.
Which...
could also be bad news.
There's nothing we can do about it now.
We need to figure out
what these people want
before it blows up in all our faces.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
Hey man,
- you OK?
- Not good with stress.
Who is? Don't worry, we're
gonna get out of this, OK?
Do you have any idea
what these guys are after?
Maybe R&D or something.
What would they be after in there?
I don't know. I'm not up on all
the secret development projects.
Charmaine could tell you more.
She's head of Marketing and Promotions.
Oh no...
(HEAVY BREATHING)
The irony is,
I'm chief accountant.
You'd think I'd be used to
high-pressure situations.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
This is an extreme situation.
True. Compared to this fiasco,
the nationwide roll-out
of our automatic hotdog maker,
the Frankenformer, was a cake walk.
Hey, Shade.
I just heard from Maz.
The building's surrounded.
- What are the cops gonna do?
- I don't know.
If they storm the building,
these guys might freak out
and start killing hostages.
- We can't let that happen.
- I guess it's time to go to Plan B.
- We have a Plan B?
- One of the gunmen
just downed his third bottle of water.
I'm betting a bathroom break's
in his near future.
Understood. I'll see what I can do.
Just wish I had some kind of weapon.
- Good luck.
- SWAT has secured the neighborhood.
We have a four-block perimeter.
Alright. I'm also placing snipers
in the building on the corner.
They'll have a clear shot
at the fourteenth floor.
Whoa, snipers? That sounds like a...
really good idea.
Charmaine?
My horoscope told me
not to go out tonight.
It's gonna be OK.
I didn't know that we had
an office in Sudbury.
I hear these guys may be
after something in the R&D lab?
It's the Robo-Slow.
What's the Robo-Slow?
It's a secret project.
It's a voice-activated slow cooker.
You tell it what you want
for dinner, it cooks it.
- You're kidding.
- If the prototype
passes testing, we're
projecting worldwide sales
upwards of 50 million dollars.
Not that it matters anymore,
because we're not
getting out of here alive.
Alright, time to go shopping.
Oh, man... I need air.
- Sit down.
- I can't breathe.
I can make that permanent.
I gotta get out of here, I can't breathe!
- Take it easy, man.
- I gotta get out! I need air!
Alright,
next person who tries anything
gets a bullet to the head.
- Angie, come in.
- Yeah.
One of the hostages,
a guy named Mark, tried to make
a run for it. He got tazed.
Yeah, I just saw him. I think
they're taking him downstairs.
Fearless leader's getting antsy.
I don't think he's gonna
make it till midnight.
Maz just told me SWAT's
locked down the neighbourhood.
OK.
I need to talk to the CEO,
Patricia. I'll check in later.
I don't know who you are,
but I don't have any
sales reps in Sudbury.
My name is Matt Shade.
I'm a private investigator.
My partner's in the building
too. We're here to help.
- How do I know I can trust you?
- You don't.
But we've notified the police.
SWAT team is outside.
Gotta take a leak.
How do you know about the Robo-Slow?
That's a top secret project.
- Charmaine told me.
- Of course she did.
We've tried to keep it under wraps,
but in a company this size,
there are bound to be leaks.
- Is it patented?
- No, not yet.
So if someone were to steal it
and beat you to market...
Not so easy. They'd have
to have manufacturing plants
and distribution channels
already in place.
Right.
Anyone come to mind?
Our main competitor.
A housewares company called Best Times.
But I can't believe they'd do
something like this.
You'd be surprised.
(WHIRRING)
Hey.
Ah! Son of a bitch!
And then there were two.
Way to go.
Thomas Redfield.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Angie, gimme some good news.
I just took down one of the gunmen.
His name's Thomas Redfield.
Who are you talking to?
Angie took out one of the hostage takers.
Alright, well, put her on speaker.
Listen, I'm sending you a picture
of his driver's license right now.
We think they're after
a new GreatLife prototype.
Alright, we'll look into it,
but in the meantime,
I need you to stand down.
- But I can help.
- I'm ordering you to find a safe room,
secure yourself until help arrives.
We will be in touch if we need you.
Detective Mazhari,
- do not engage with Everett again.
- Yes, ma'am. I mean no, ma'am.
Officer Powers, come with me.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
I'm not supposed to be talking to you.
Just listen, then. Can you look
into the Robo-Slow angle, please?
Somebody's financing this operation.
Maybe GreatLife's
competition is playing dirty.
We are not having this
conversation, you got it?
Fine. I also didn't ask you to copy Zoe
on the police report on Redfield.
Oy vey.
Empty?
Well, now it's a party.
Psst!
I saw you talking to Charmaine earlier.
Did she mention me?
No. Why?
No reason.
- Are you sure we haven't met before?
- No.
- Last year's conference in Petawawa?
- Uh-uh.
- Team building laser tag?
- Mm-mm.
- Corporate karaoke retreat?
- I think I would remember that.
Hey, how's the pain?
Well, seeing as how we may not
make it out of here alive...
It's nothing. I'm fine.
So you're faking it?
I've been promising Mom
a cruise for years.
I finally save the money and Mr.
Bickles needs emergency surgery.
Mr. Bickles?
My oldest cat. Urinary obstruction.
So you needed some quick cash.
Mom gets her cruise,
Mr. Bickles gets to pee.
It's what I call a win-win, my friend.
Shade, I've got Zoe on the line.
Maz called. The search on
Thomas Redfield came back clean.
- No priors, not even a parking ticket.
- There's something else.
He didn't have any bullets in his gun.
What do you think the chances
are the other guys don't either?
Don't even think about it.
Why would a guy like Redfield be
involved in something like this?
I don't know. Maz said he
works for a recycling company.
I called the dispatcher
and they said he's on shift.
- Recycling? Do you mean Apex Recycling?
- Yeah, how'd you know?
Because earlier, I saw one of their
dumpsters parked in the loading bay.
How many are on his crew tonight?
Um... him plus two.
- That's three guys.
- And three gunmen.
- What're you thinking?
- Why would you need three gunmen
to steal a souped-up slow cooker?
Something's hinky.
I gotta talk to Patricia again.
OK. I'm gonna find the hostage
they tazed, see if he's OK.
- Ma'am? You should see this.
- What is it?
I ran a check on the members
of the recycling crew
like you asked. Two of them,
Thomas Redfield
and Steven MacGruder, came back clean.
- OK. And the third one?
- Yeah, not so much.
Darryl Fenwick. Convicted
of multiple instances
of violent assault,
including unlawful possession
of a firearm and armed robbery.
Well, I guess we know
who's in charge up there.
Where's Detective Mazhari?
I don't know.
Um, well,
I think I saw him on his phone earlier.
- Oh, his mother again?
- Maybe.
Um... I hear she gets lonely.
OK, you know what? We need to
establish a line of communication here,
find out what these
guys are really after.
OK, HQ says that the hostage
negotiator is on his way,
so it'll be about 15 minutes
Right, well, we can't wait that long.
Relax, Powers. I did hostage
negotiation for ten years
before coming here.
Quiet back there! Roll record, please.
(PHONE RINGING)
Who's calling here?
Hello?
Yes, this is Inspector Mathilda Carson
of the Metropolitan Police.
Who am I speaking to?
Where are you?
Outside the building, sir.
And we are ready
to get you anything you need to
bring this to a safe conclusion.
No, no, no. You stay the hell away, OK?
'Cause I see any cops,
or this phone rings again,
I'm gonna start killing hostages.
He hung up.
These guys are serious.
Prep the SWAT team.
The cops? What the hell?
Hey, Tommy's not back from the john.
OK.
You keep an eye on these morons.
I'll be back.
Looks like the cops just
called. Leader's on the move.
I still haven't located
the other hostage. Oh!
What do you mean, the cops are outside?
I don't know! I got a call
from the negotiator.
Oh my god. Where's Tommy?
I can't find him. You're on your own.
- Are you kidding me?
- No, I'm not kidding you!
This is not my fault, alright?
This was your idea.
It was such a simple plan.
How the hell could you mess it up?
♪
Wait, you recognised him?
Yeah, I'm sure it's the guy I saw earlier
in the elevator, except this
time he looks less like a hostage
and more like a criminal mastermind.
So this is all a scam.
It's an inside job.
- But what's he after?
- Not the prototype.
I found them in the basement. Plus,
he would know about the
lock on the R&D lab.
The hostages, the R&D lab distraction...
maybe he's playing us for time.
- To do what?
- How did the cops know we're here?
- On this floor? In this office?
- I don't know.
Alright.
Someone in here has been
talking to the cops.
It's not me.
I can personally vouch for
this gentle flower of a woman.
You all need to hear this:
no one is coming to rescue you.
We're sticking to the plan.
And until I find out who the traitor is,
you're all skating on thin ice.
Skating.
Now I know where I've seen you...
- (GRUNTING)
- Oh!
Hey, what the hell's going on?
Uh, Wallace here was
gonna make a run for it,
and after what happened to Mark,
I didn't want to let that happen.
You're not gonna make that same
mistake again, are you, Wallace?
No, sir.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Hey, Maz.
Alright, Angie, I just talked to
the CEO of GreatLife's competition.
They're already manufacturing
their own A.I. microwave
and they have zero interest
in the Robo-Slow, so...
That's as far as I got with...
- that.
- Is that Angie?
Maybe.
We think the leader's name is
Darryl Fenwick. He's got priors,
including armed robbery. And
that guy you took out, Redfield?
You'll never guess who his cousin is.
One of the hostages.
He works for GreatLife.
Oh. You already knew that.
I just found out. His name's Mark
Bates, he's head of accounting.
Wait a second.
If this isn't about a slow cooker,
then what are they after?
I don't know,
but I think it has something to do
with that recycling bin.
I'm going to go stake out
the loading dock.
OK, but Inspector Carson is sending
SWAT in through the parking garage.
I don't like the sound
of that. Can't you stall them?
- So you're the Shadow!
- Shh!
I'm also a P.I.
I'm sorry I had to hit you, Wallace,
but I can't let these guys
find out who I really am.
Yeah, yeah, I'm hip.
But I think you bruised a rib, Shadow.
Shh! Don't call me that.
Oh, right. Sorry. My bad.
So, a P.I.?
Why are you really here?
So I'm busted.
Yeah, you are, but right now
you're the least of my worries.
Hey, Shade. Fresh Intel on the leader.
He's got a record. Robbery and assault.
Can't it ever be good news, Everett?
Uh, SWAT's been ordered
to surround the building?
That dumpster's still down here
in the loading dock,
but now the lid's open. (GASPING)
I'll get back to you.
- I can't believe Mark's behind this.
- What would be so big
that he would need a dumpster
to get it out of here?
Expensive art? High grade computers?
No, there's really nothing.
Unless...
- Smart watches?
- They're gifts for the staff.
We've had a banner year.
I was gonna make
an announcement tomorrow,
but nobody really knows
about them except me.
Mark's chief accountant.
He must've found out.
Where are the watches now?
In the basement lockup.
But if anybody tries to break
in, it would set off the alarm.
I'm the only one with a key card...
Oh, wait...
that guy kept it
to get back into the lab.
At least that's what
he wants us to believe.
How many watches are we talking about?
One for every employee
nationwide. Roughly 2,200.
- And each watch is worth...?
- A little over $1,000.
Partner, you'll never believe
what I just found.
About two million dollars
in smart watches?
You're no fun at all.
Hey, you guys are spending
an awful lot of time together.
Us? No, not really.
Not really? Well,
it's time to break it up.
Hey...
Who the hell are you?
Don't suppose you're a hockey fan?
Oh... Matt Shade.
What have we got here? Oh!
Everett and Shade,
Private Investigations.
I prefer Shade and Everett,
but what's in a name?
So you're the one who brought the cops.
No, they drove themselves.
That's funny.
OK, smartass, where's your partner?
Who knows?
Hey, uh, Everett?
- Who's this?
- This is your worst nightmare.
So why don't you get up to the boardroom
before I put a bullet
in your partner's head?
(RADIO TRANSMISSIONS)
(BEEPING)
Clear. Let's go.
- Walk.
- Whoa, take it easy.
Oh, well!
- What the hell took you so long?
- Slow elevator.
Yeah, sure. OK, where's my other guy?
I don't know. It's so hard
to get good help these days.
Yep, she's your partner alright.
Alright, let's go. Move it, both of you.
- Who was that?
- Must be his partner.
He's a private investigator.
I'm part of his cover.
- Helping him with the case.
- You are?
That's... very brave of you.
Go, go, go.
Look, you know the police are outside.
Why don't you guys just
give yourselves up?
- That way nobody gets hurt.
- OK, yeah.
Thank you for the career advice.
- What are you doing!?
- They know.
What? How?
- Who's she?
- His partner. They're P.I.s.
Oh my God...
This is turning into one
of those days, isn't it, Mark?
I'm sure at some point
this seemed like a genius idea.
After a few beers, you and your
cousin convince his co-workers
to stage a fake hostage scenario.
Which gives your guys time to
transfer the watches to the dumpster.
A few hours later,
you free the hostages...
assuming you have
an emergency escape plan.
Then later, the recycling truck
comes by and picks up its usual load.
Poor Mark, the victim of crazed gunmen,
returns to work tomorrow, a tragic hero.
Nobody the wiser.
Crap! They do know everything.
And now the cops... we're surrounded!
I knew bringing guns into this
- was a big mistake.
- Mine's the only one with bullets.
You think I'd give your idiot
cousin and his buddy loaded guns?
Everything's gonna be fine.
After we take care
of a couple of loose ends.
No, no, no, please... it was
never supposed to come to this.
We've come too far to back down.
I'm running the show now.
You get that dumpster loaded.
I'm gonna take care of everything else.
Walk.
Get going.
You seem pretty calm for
someone surrounded by police.
There's an old subway tunnel
underneath this building.
We broke the maintenance access.
So as soon as those watches are loaded,
- we're history.
- What about the dumpster?
You're the only ones who know about it.
Actually, that's not true.
What about your buddy Tommy?
He might spill the beans on your
whole plan to protect himself.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
Where is he?
We'll tell you if you let us go.
I got another idea.
I start shooting out kneecaps
until you tell me.
OK. Fine.
I'll take you to him.
Good, good. That wasn't
that hard, now, was it?
Let's go. Keep walking. Go.
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
Team, halt.
He's in there.
- You first.
- What's the matter, you don't trust me?
- (CHUCKLING)
- No.
Uh...
I can't find the light switch.
- (SIGHING)
- Wow.
(CRACKLING)
I've been wanting to do that all night.
What the hell did you rig up
over there, Everett?
Well, you remember my toaster-
slash-hair-dryer disaster?
Got me wondering what would
happen if I daisy-chained up
twenty of those GreatLife's
Lightning Prep Veggie-Dicers.
- Hm! Very impressive.
- Yippee-ki-yay.
Drop the weapon!
I got some bad news.
A friend of mine told me
your clip's empty,
- and that gun's got bullets.
- OK. OK.
Gun on the ground. Get on your knees.
Hands behind your back.
Let's go. How you doing?
♪ There's an island
in my mind, she said ♪
♪ We could go, we could go,
we could get it there ♪
♪ There's a city in the wild instead ♪
♪ We can make, we can make,
we can make it, yeah ♪
- You two...
- These two, huh?
You are just lucky that
no one was seriously hurt.
It wasn't luck, Ma'am.
It was thanks to critical information
Detective Mazhari
was able to glean from our sources
on the inside.
That's true. Once I told Maz
the last gunman had no bullets...
He was able to successfully
defuse the situation.
Right. Well, I know spin when I hear it.
Your full report on my desk
before sunrise.
Yours, too.
- Yes, Ma'am.
- Yes, Ma'am.
So, the whole neck brace thing?
Yeah, that was a scam. But this isn't.
Bruised ribs on company property.
- (LAUGHING)
- Yeah, sorry about that.
Now I can say I went
toe-to-toe with Matt Shade.
Oof!
Besides,
I think the bandage looks sexy.
Really?
(LAUGHING)
Do you like cats?
They seem like a happy couple.
- You know who's not gonna be happy?
- The insurance company,
when they have to pay out that new claim.
But we did good tonight, Everett.
I think we deserve a reward.
You thinking what I think
you're thinking?
I'm thinking about a double
bacon meat bomb with fries.
Get out of my head!
You know, I'm now even kicking for a
peanut butter banana milk shake.
That's partner ever.