Pretty Freekin Scary (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - My Soul-Called Life - full transcript

Ooh, pancakes.
Gimme, gimme.

That's for your mom.

-Today is our...
-Half-iversary!

Aw. You remembered?

You woke us all up, screaming,

"Today is our half-iversary!"

Remy and I are treating you
to a romantic dinner.

And it will be better than last year
at King Arthur's Round Table

when Dad had to get on a horse.

Bad night to wear skinny jeans.

Oh, honey,
you don't have to spend all your money



-on some restaurant.
-Way ahead of you.

We're treating you to a four-course,
horse-free meal in the backyard.

It'll be set up by the time you get back
from your day of lovey-dovey stuff

I never wanna hear about.

Mmm, let the romance begin.

Not in front of the children, please!

Oh, and remember you're responsible
for Remy while we're gone today.

I'm a multitasking monster.

Whatever Remy needs,
I'm on it. Easy-peasy.

Mom? Can you
bring me a spoon?

Oh, and a bowl?

And could you put cereal
and milk in that bowl first? Thanks!

Right.

Easy-peasy.



Hello.

Listen, Frankie.

I have a new task for you.

Today? GR,
it's my parents' half-iversary.

I have to cook a huge dinner
and watch my brother, and...

Honey? Who are you talking to?

Nobody.

-Frankie, we're headed out.
-Mmm-hmm.

Call us if you have any problems.

Mmm-hmm.

Can't wait for our four-course meal!

Mmm-hmm!

You might want to put some floss
on those back molars.

Listen, GR, can we reschedule this task?

I have a very busy day.

That is so girl-boss of you to ask,
but no.

It's a simple task,
if not also a bit, uh...

-Personal.
-Personal?

How's it personal?
Dish!

No.
This is not some hot goss sesh.

Some things are just
better left in the past.

What just happened?

Where am I?

Is there a pay phone?

I don't know what that is,

but welcome to the underworld!

The under-what-now?

-Who are you?
-Oh, I'm...

It still feels
weird to say this.

I'm a Grim Reaper... No!

I am the Grim Reaper.

It's my first day.

And why am I here?

Oh, because you died!

Sorry, should have led with that.

Again, first day.

Well, I guess dying happens
to the best of us, right?

I suppose it does.

What a wonderful outlook you have.

It's easy to stay positive
with someone like you around.

I see why they gave you the job.

Is it hot in here?

Ahem, can I get your name?

It's Theodore.
Theodore Snickering.

Oh!

What a lovely name.

Ooh! I just need you to sign here
in this book.

Uh, do you mind telling me
what it is I'm signing?

Oh, of course.

This is your standard agreement,

stating that once you sign, your soul
will be owned by the underworld.

Okay. Sounds fair to me.

-Hey, you know what?
-Hmm?

I just realized
I don't have my watch.

Any chance I could pop back up
real fast and grab it?

Ooh, uh, um...

I'm afraid that's against the rules.

But don't you pretty much
make the rules?

I guess I do.

I wouldn't ask,

but my dear mother
gave that watch to me.

She'd love you, by the way.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Okay, I suppose
I could make an exception this one time.

I'll zap you up
so you can get your dear mother's watch.

And since you've already
signed the book,

it shouldn't be a problem
to zap you back when you're done.

Oh! Um...

I should double-check my manual
on how to properly zap.

Won't be but a minute.

Okay!
So, I'll see you soon?

Back in a flash.

Ah!

-Oh!

Strange.
Can't seem to zap Theodore back.

Yeah, so he tricked me.

And he stole my book.

Bittersweet memory.
More bitter than sweet.

Listen, Frankie,

I need you to retrieve a book from
locker 12-12-and-a-half at your school.

Twelve-twelve-and-a-half?

Our school doesn't have
any half lockers.

How am I supposed to find
something that doesn't exist?

I believe in you.

Now, you're looking
for the Book of Souls.

And once you find it, my dear,
whatever you do, do not open that book.

A soul could escape.

Anyway, toodles!

I heard everything.

Well, everything you said.

Were you just talking
to the Grim Reaper?

Was she mad?
And does she look like Aunt Peggy?

'Cause in my head
she looks like Aunt Peggy.

-Did she give you a task?
-Remy, chill.

You know I have zero chill.

But, Frankie, I can help.

I'm The Locker Broker
and the head of S.W.E.A.T.I.

Also, I happen to know the town library
has a detailed map of the school.

Because I have it in my room.

It's a year past due, but don't worry,
I checked it out under Carson's name.

Okay. You're coming with me.

Good. I was coming anyway.

You didn't have a choice.

I'm so excited.

This is my first time planning
a romantic dinner.

Based on our research, we're gonna need
one very long strand of spaghetti.

Actually, I can't go shopping.

GR just gave me a task to find
some old book at school.

Can you two go for me?

We're on it! Scary, let's go
to the romantic dinner store!

Here it's just called
a grocery store.

How'd you get the janitor
to let us in on a Saturday?

I told her we had weekend detention.

If she sees you, look sad.

Okay, so, here's the map.

As you can see,

there is no
locker 12-12-and-a-half on here.

You know,
you could have told me this at home.

Did Indiana Jones stay at home?

My gut tells me this file room
is where they keep the original

building plans for the school.

Is this the same gut
that told you peanut butter

would be good on a hot dog?

It was right then, and it's right now.

Well, I hope your gut has a key.

Even better.

I've got a grappling hook.

I'll climb up through the air vents

and drop myself into the room
from above.

Remy, I'm responsible for you.

I can't let you climb
through the ceiling

so you can Tom Cruise yourself
into a room.

It's either this or you tell
Grim Reaper you failed.

I'll give you a boost.

No need.
We'll communicate with these.

Good luck!

Where I'm going, I don't need luck.

Well, technically, you do...
Just go.

Approaching
air vents now, over.

Be careful, Remy.

Okay, I'm in position
above the file room.

Now, all I have to do

is lower my body gently...

I'm okay.

What do you see in there?

The land of forbidden filing cabinets.

You know
you're not in a movie, right?

Just hurry up and get out of there.

Behold, the Holy Grail of maps!

I got the original school plans.

And a scraped knee, but worth it.

You're loving this, aren't you?

Literally the best day of my life!

Wait, this doesn't look like our school.

It says "Snickering's Finest Factory."

Why would this be
in the school's file room?

Check it out.

The building dimensions
are exactly the same.

And they line up perfectly!

They must have built our school
right on top of the old factory.

Wow!
Your gut's as good as mine.

This is incredible!

But I still don't see
a locker 12-12-and-a-half.

Me either.

Remy,

what if we're thinking
about this all wrong?

I'm listening.

We know there are no
half lockers, right?

-So, what if it's a riddle?
-A math riddle?

Remy, what's half of 12-12?

606!

And look at what's behind
locker 606 on the factory plans.

It's the safe from
the old Snickering office!

Let's find locker 606!

550, 575...

Here it is! 606!

You were born for this, Remy.
Deep breath.

Aw, man. It's empty.

I was hoping for a poison dart.

Or at least a giant boulder.

If it helps, I can put
a spider down your shirt.

There has to be something in here.

Hey, what's that?

Look! There are four dials!

Yeah, but how do we crack the code?

There's literally 10,000
possible combinations.

Let's try one, nine, four, two.

How did you do that?

1942 is the year the original
Snickering's Finest was built.

It's on your map.

Gotcha!

This is it. The Book of Souls.

We make a good team.
Ready to join S.W.E.A.T.I?

Ready to rename it?

We got the Book of Souls!

And I got to fall through the ceiling!

Yeah, but that's our secret, remember?

Okay, now I just need to get
the book to Grim,

then I can focus on cooking
Mom and Dad's dinner.

With the menu I picked out,

this will be the best romantic dinner
I've ever planned!

And the first romantic dinner
I've ever planned.

Gr?

Come in, GR.
I have your book!

You know, maybe GR
isn't answering because I'm here.

I'll just take the book
into the living room...

You're not taking that book.

GR specifically said we can't open it.

Yeah, but aren't you curious
why it was in our school?

And who locked it away?

And why?
And does it have pictures?

I'm happy to check it out.

Remy, stop being so Remy-ish!

We are not opening that book.

Don't disobey the Reaper.

She's not warm and fuzzy like me.

Scary, come on,
we're losing valuable time.

This dinner isn't
gonna happen by itself.

GR's not answering.

I'll just be over here
not being Remy-ish.

Just gonna take a little peek.

Maybe I shouldn't.

But would I regret if I didn't?

Yes, I would.

Uh-oh. Frankie, come here!

But promise me you won't get mad first?

Well, now I'm, like, instantly mad.

I accidentally sorta took a peek.

Just a little one!

And I think a soul escaped
from the book.

-Where did it go?

Inside of me.

Are you okay?

-Say something!

She is the reason

For this beautiful season

Remy, are you in there?

Hey, easy on the duds, lady.

I don't know any Remy.

Now, if you can point me
to my dressing room,

I've got a show to put on.

Mom and Dad are home!

Remy... Uh, sir, your dressing room
is upstairs, first door on the left.

And stay there until show time.

Hey! Did you guys have fun?

We did. I took your mother
paddle-boating on the lake today.

It was so great.

We watched a couple fall in
and could not stop laughing.

I'm glad it wasn't me
this time.

Hey, where's Remy?

He's, um... Taking a nap!

Yeah. Why don't you get showered
and freshen up for your dinner?

Uh, just don't wake Remy.

He's an angry napper.

I showered this morning.

Me too. I think we're fresh enough.

Fresh? Ooh! Try funky.

-Mmm.
-Shower it is.

Everything outside is romance ready.

I put the chairs
very close to each other.

Remy opened the book,

and a soul escaped
and took over his body.

-Uh-oh.
-Cool!

Not cool!

Look, I need you two to keep
my parents occupied

while I prepare a four-course meal

while also figuring out
how to de-soul my brother.

Pretty, you're in charge.

Why is he in charge?

-Because he cares.
-Point taken.

Scary, I need you to fold
two napkins into swans.

Wow. Ten seconds with you as my boss,
and I already wanna quit.

Scary, where are the swan napkins?

They're on the plates.

Those are swans?

They look like chubby owls at best.

You know this isn't
a real restaurant, right?

How are you enjoying your meal?

Well, apples are certainly

an interesting choice
for appetizers.

Appetizers?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Ripp,

but I believe
it's pronounced apple-tizers.

Okay.

And we particularly enjoyed
these chubby owl napkins.

You should relax a little.

Frankie put me in charge.

I cannot and will not relax.

Dinner has to be perfect!

This isn't just
a quarter-versary, Scary.

It's half. Half!

Scary, fork to table one!

Five-second rule.

Wow, the service is really good here.

Say it with a tip.

You kids look all dolled-up.

What's the occasion?

Remy must be
the entertainment.

Oh!
Um, it's our half-iversary, sir.

Half-iversary? Don't think you're gonna
make it a whole year, huh?

You are hilarious.

Help me!
I'm trapped.

Help Me, I'm Trapped
is the name of the song.

Trapped in your sweet embrace

Imprisoned by your beautiful face

Frankie!
We've got a situation.

Dinner's going great, but your brother's
out here telling jokes and singing.

Badly!

It takes two to tango

Only one to mango

"One to mango?"

What does that even mean?

I've gotta get that soul out of him.

-What are you looking for?
-A recipe!

Scary, can you hand me some garlic,

some onions,
and whatever else really stinks?

Why are you punishing your parents?

It's for Remy.

If I can give him indigestion,
maybe he'll burp it out.

I don't think souls work like that.

What else can I do?

Wait. I'll ask Cheery.

-Who?
-Oh, that's our digital assistant.

She plays music and spies on us.

Hey, Cheery, how do I get
a soul out of someone's body?

An insole
is a removable insert...

Cheery! Not "insole." Soul.

Soul music playlist now playing.

Cheery, turn it off.

Turning volume up.

She doesn't listen to anyone.
I like her.

I like you too, Scary.

Whoa, she is spying on us.

I tell you, you put on some soul music
and I am going to cut a rug or two.

So, Frankie, did you get my book?

Yes, but can I give it to you
in, like, an hour?

I'm super busy with dinner.

And I super don't care.

I'd really like it now.

Totally!

Hey, just curious.

You said if someone opened the book,
a soul could escape?

Yes, I did, my darling,
but I doubt that happened,

since I explicitly told you
not to open it.

Oh, yeah, and I definitely didn't.

But just say, for laughs,
what would happen

if, big if,

a soul did escape
into someone's body?

I'm laughing
just saying it, but what if?

That's funny.

It's hilarious, even.

That soul could take over
the host's body forever.

Forever! Hilarious!

Frankie, is it...
Is it getting hotter in here?

GR, what'd you say?
I can't hear you.

I think your signal's breaking up.

But I'll get you that book
that I definitely didn't open.

Bye!

Bye, Frankie.

Pretty, I need you to send
Remy in here right now.

It's time for drastic measures.

Okay, just open the book
and tell that soul to get back in.

Easy-peasy.

Hey, doll face.

I heard you wanted to see me.

Get out of my brother, stupid soul!

"To be or not to be,
that is the question."

Frankie,
it's getting crowded in here.

Oh, no, I made it worse.

- And we're jogging!
-Wait, no! Remy, stop! Don't leave!

So Remy's got three souls inside of him
and I burned the spaghetti sauce.

Cheery, play sad music.

Playing salsa music.

Read the room, Cheery.

Love that energy!

Gold stars to the happy couple!

-I think Remy's getting worse.

Frankie is handling Remy.

We need to focus on dinner.

Okay, gotta go hydrate!

And I'm jogging, I'm jogging...

I liked the singer better.

Me too.

I hope you two have worked up
quite an appetite.

Now, Scary, if you'll serve the sauce.

May I present our main course?

Spaghetti.

Surprise!

Oh!

Oh, no! What've you done?

What most people do when someone yells
at the top of their lungs.

It's okay, Scary.

At least the spaghetti surprise
lived up to its name.

Oh,
that'll come out. That's not comin' out.

Pretty and Scary, come in.

Frankie, we failed you.
Your dad's covered in spaghetti sauce.

He looks disappointed and delicious.

Pretty, it's fine.
Where's Remy?

"All the world's a stage,

"and all the men and women
merely players."

Play it like you're cool

Sometimes love makes you a fool

You wanna look good for the pool?

Give me 20 squats, people!

Honey, is Remy okay?

Uh, don't worry. All part of his act.

Frankie, Remy's out of control.
You gotta do something.

That's it.

"What light through
yonder window breaks.

"It is the East, and Juliet is the..."

-Line?
-All right, enough!

I'm not going to sit here

while a bunch of souls
take over my little brother.

Please. I don't want to lose you.

Look at what we accomplished today.

We made a great team.

I'll even join S.W.E.A.T.I.

You don't have to change the name.

Remy, if you're in there, I love you.

Aw! Alas, love truly conquers all!

You've been a great crowd!
Good night, Snickering Willows!

And we're leaving,
we're leaving, we're leaving!

Whoa. Remy, are you you?
Are the souls gone?

They're gone.

It's just me in here now!

You saved me, Frankie.
Thank you!

Maybe next time GR says
don't do something, don't do it.

You have to fear the Reaper.

Did you mean all those
nice things you said?

Everything, except joining S.W.E.A.T.I.

Oh, good.

The water feels much cooler now.

So, how about that book?

Yep. Got it right here.

Just drop it in the pot, dear.

Should I season it first?

Why? You didn't season the spaghetti.

Marvelous.

I can't tell you how long
I've been trying to get this book back.

Seriously, I can't tell you.

And Frankie, the next time
I ask you not to open something,

don't!

Toodles.

The page is missing.

Theodore, you ripped out
your own page.

Game on, you sneaky little Snickering.

Happy Halvesies, Wendy darling.

Right back at you, Johnnie-boy.

Scary, are you crying?

I knew it! You are a romantic.

Tell no one!

Can you pass me a chubby owl napkin?

Trapped in your sweet embrace

Emprisoned by your beautiful face