Preacher (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Viktor - full transcript
Viktor. We got her.
Gun.
Ah, you found us. Come in, Padre.
How you doing? You alright?
Yeah.
This your friend's place?
Yeah. Denis.
Wait 'til you meet him. He's hysterical.
You're gonna love
him. Yeah. There he is.
How you doing, Denis? Morning, man.
Yeah.
He's just tired, that's
all. Don't worry about that.
So? Looking for God? How'd it go?
It's hard to say.
But for a first night?
Was definitely interesting.
I met this woman.
No, not like that.
She was in trouble, so I helped her.
Oh, that's great. Helping's nice.
Never mind. Where's Tulip?
Tulip?
She still sleeping?
No, no, no. She went out.
Out?
- Yeah.
- Where?
- I dunno.
- When?
When what?
Did she go out?
Last night.
So she went out in
the middle of the night
and didn't say where or
why or when she'll be back?
Yeah. Maybe you should call,
just check in, make sure she's alright.
It's weird, isn't it?
For Tulip?
It's pretty typical.
I'm gonna take a nap.
Oh, uh, bedroom's down the hall there.
Yeah.
Sleep tight.
_
Keep at it.
This might be one of
those all day things.
So.
What are we gonna do with you?
Hello?
Hello.
Who's there?
Projector malfunction.
Please stay put.
Projector malfunction.
Please stay put.
Projector malfunction.
- What's going on?
- Please stay put.
- The whole block's down?
Most unusual.
Routine maintenance, I guess...
Better get back to our hells.
They'll be back soon.
Yeah, run along granny goody two shoes.
I just don't want to get in trouble.
Hey, idiot!
You're in Hell!
You're already in trouble!
Hey!
Leave her alone.
Hol-eee shit!
Oh my frickin' Jeeezus,
check out New Guy!
Oh my god, dude!
Alright, dude, I gotta
ask you a question
and you gotta be honest:
has anyone ever told you
that your face is disgusting?
It's like your face is
one big giant sphincter.
I'm gonna put my meat in your mouth
and have oral and anal at the same time!
Alright, Tyler.
That is enough.
What? Nah, we're just having some fun.
Yeah.
Well, now the fun is over.
What if it isn't over, Mein Fuhrer?
What if the fun's just beginning?
What are we gonna do about that then?
Huh?
Go! Back to your hells!
Quick!
Once the machine starts, the doors lock.
You can come in my hell if you want.
Suit yourself.
But they will put you in the hole.
That was brave.
Sticking up for the gypsy.
You're Hitler.
Yes.
You started World War Two.
I did, yes.
You killed like millions of people.
I did terrible things.
Here we go again.
_
Two of your best plum cakes please.
E-Extra flaky crust! Danke!
- Guten tag...
- Oh, Elsa. There you are!
I just ordered plum cakes.
Oh, yum.
I-I dropped by your house yesterday.
Oh, did you?
I, uh, had to help my
mother at the store.
Ah.
Excuse me...
Yes, of course.
My fault.
- Guten tag.
- Guten tag.
I'm sorry. You were saying you were...
You were helping your mother...?
Adolf! See that man, with the hat?
That's Herman Hoehne, the
gallery owner I told you about.
We are old friends.
You must show him your drawings.
Ach.
They're not ready.
That is what you always say.
You have such talent, you must...
Communists.
They're all vermin.
They should be exiled.
Mm. Yes, I suppose so.
You disagree?
The Communists are scum,
infiltrating our society.
Yes. No. Of course.
You are right, yes.
"Vermin," that is exactly right.
Well, they will get
what's coming to them.
- Would you like tea?
- I'm fine.
Thank you.
Go. Show him your work.
Again?
That was your worst memory?
Your door will be open.
Go back to your cell
now... While you still can.
What is your name by the way?
Eugene Root.
Welcome to hell, Eugene.
I'm sorry.
Eh.
Here.
No more crying? Okay?
'Cause crying isn't gonna fix this.
I brought you in.
I trusted you,
made you a part of my family.
And in return you made a fool out of me.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to say...
Well, you better think of something
'cause "sorry" isn't
gonna fix this either.
Excuse me, boss.
He's conscious again.
Not sure how long we'll have him.
Walk around, clear your head,
and when I ask you again,
give me a better answer.
Hey Tulip.
Hey Pat.
_
You've forgotten us, haven't you?
You moved on. Your life continued.
But others weren't so lucky.
The waters went down, but the pain rose,
the grief continued...
I lost my house, my clothes, everything.
Asked the Federal Government for help...
but you know how that goes.
What is this?
Infomercial.
No Tulip?
What, she... She hasn't called you?
Why would I ask if
she's here if she called?
Yeah. No.
Uh... right.
It... It'd just be weird.
Uh, Den? Denis?
Padre. Padre, Denis.
Thank you for letting us stay.
It's... It's a beautiful place.
Everything okay?
Yeah. It's just... That's just French.
Right.
Gonna grab something to
eat and then we'll go.
Wh-What? Wait... Where we going?
Jazz clubs.
We still got 137 more to see.
Yeah, but what... What about Tulip?
What about her?
Are you... are you not
wondering where she is?
I know exactly where she is.
You do?
We're in a fight.
So she's out somewhere being mad at me.
Being mad at you?
Yeah. Shopping, shoplifting.
Cheating at cards.
Calling off marriages.
Yeah, but, man, she...
She never said anything
like that to me, though.
She just got up and left
without saying a word.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Right.
'Cause we're in a fight.
But I...
Anyway, this woman last night?
She told me about some
secret organization
with designs on world domination.
- You know about that?
- Yeah.
Sure, which one? Is it Z.O.G.?
Rosicrucians, Reptilians?
Secret society of alien lizards.
They impersonate celebrities in
an attempt to take over the planet
through popular culture.
- Is that it?
- No.
Right.
The one I was told about, the
guys were wearing white suits.
Yeah?
They drive white vans.
Maybe some sort of
religious organization?
White suits.
I don't know about that, Padre.
It sounds pretty fake to me.
Hmm.
White vans.
In position.
We're living under a bridge,
and I work three jobs just
to keep a tarp over our heads.
I used to go to
prostitutes. Now, I am one.
Oh, I thought things couldn't get worse
than a Category Five hurricane...
but for me, Katrina was the beginning...
Oh, my... Oh my god. J-J-Jesse! Jess!
What is it?
Jesse, come and have a look!
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick!
It's bloody God from your church.
Look. See?
lost my insurance
and now I'm mentally ill.
- It's the guy from the church.
- But no matter the tragedy,
I still believe that people are good,
and that's what helps me sleep at night.
How do you sleep at night?
Hi, I'm Frankie Muniz.
I'm not homeless, and neither are they.
We're all actors.
Frankie Muniz. Huge talent.
So when it comes time to give...
what do we say?
Don't forget!
Fake God.
He's an actor.
Fake God is a local actor.
Huh?
It's only this block
that's on the fritz, right?
That's correct.
Bulb's almost brand-new,
so that can't be it.
It has to be electrical.
Could be mechanical. Could be the fan.
Could be a lot of things.
Did you leave the room right now?
Uh, no.
This going to take a while?
Maybe a full reset.
Come with me.
This actor could answer
lots of questions.
Like what?
Like, why'd they hire him?
Does he look like God?
Does he act like God?
Maybe God hired him.
Alright.
- Hello?
- Hi.
We looked online. Y-You
represent an actor here?
A "Mark Hair-lik"? "Ha-relic"?
From the Katrina commercials?
Harelik. Do you have an appointment?
Nope.
alright. Coming.
Hey guys!
How you been?
Hey, Jimmy, you still
playing with this guy?
He will rob you blind...
Mmm. Something smells good.
Pete, Nick... please.
I know I messed up big-time...
We need more salt.
There's still no word from Tulip?
That's weird, isn't it?
Hm.
You're not worried.
That's good.
Why would I be worried?
Well, if I had a girl like Tulip
I'd be worried day and night, man.
If you had a girl like Tulip
you'd be wasting your time.
If there's one thing
Tulip O'Hare can do,
it's look after herself.
- Hey, guys. Teddy Gunth.
- Yep.
Sorry about the wait.
It's pilot season so crazy busy,
but how can I be of help to you?
You represent a Mark Harelik?
I do. Huge talent.
Tell me... what exactly
are you looking for?
We're looking for Mark Harelik.
We have a few questions for him.
Right, right. Okay, so,
I'm hearing tall... Jewish...
right, maybe kinda soulful.
You guys definitely
came to the right place.
Um, let me ask you something.
Does it have to be European white
or can it be maybe Hispanic?
And the only reason
why I ask this, right,
is because I just signed
this Cuban guy. D... So good.
No, no, just tell us where he is.
See, it doesn't really
work that way, boss.
You want access to a
Teddy Gunth client...
gotta go through Teddy Gunth.
Now what is this project?
It's "Game of Thrones."
And are we talking guest
star or something larger?
It's reoccurring.
But there's a chance he'll
get up to series regular
if he's good-like.
You know what I mean?
I want premium cable rate.
- $15,000 per episode.
- Done.
And per diem, plus round
trip airfare, first class.
Business.
Nice try. This is HBO.
No one's made of money, Gunth, alright?
Even Dinklage flies business.
Christ.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Done.
- Excellente, Gunth.
Alright. Now, we need to arrange
a costume fitting immediately.
Where the hell is he?
Who? Harelik?
- Mm-hmm.
- No idea.
What on earth do you mean, Gunth?
Hold on. Hold on. Let me
show you this Cuban guy...
We don't want the Cuban guy, Gunth!
- I get that...
- We don't want him.
We want Harelik, or there's
no deal here, alright?
I don't know where he is.
Oh, for God's sake. He's
ridiculous, this man.
I got him this gig.
Moment he got it, never
heard from him again.
The Katrina commercial?
No. No, no, no. That
was over a year ago.
This was, uh... This was some
out of town understudy thing
for some larger than life
type character, like, um...
Like a mob boss or an
emperor or something. Or God.
Yeah, that was it. It was God.
And who hired him? Who was behind this?
Who knows? Voices on a phone, right?
- Ah.
- Great.
I'll tell you this much, though...
Snooty freakin' bastards.
'Cause I remember, I told 'em
to send me his audition tape
'cause I wanted it for,
like, his actor reel, right?
They told me to pound sand.
Yeah.
Teddy Gunth!
So I told them, "You
listen to me right now.
You send me his goddamn
audition tape right now,
or I'm gonna have Screen
Actors Guild on you so fast,
your shoes are gonna curl."
And believe me, that
got their attention.
They sent it to you, this tape?
- Yeah.
- What's on it?
Are you crazy? I didn't watch it.
Have you ever seen an actor's
audition? Nobody watches them.
This is a waste of time. It's
ridiculous. It's making me furious.
HBO's gonna hear about this, Gunth!
- I tell you what...
- This tape?
Do you have a copy?
What do you mean he's gone?
How could that happen?
Who let him out?
Well someone better find him
or we'll have to answer to you know who.
Jesus.
You're new, so here's
a little background.
When this place was initially
conceived and constructed,
no one had any idea the kind
of numbers we'd be getting.
Obviously we have
issues of overcrowding,
we're underfunded,
and sometimes the machine breaks down.
We'll have you back to
your hell soon enough.
Until then, I'm gonna put you
in holding with the others.
And this is what you need to consider...
Lots of first timers,
they get very excited
when their hells break down.
"Oh, let's take a
break, put our feet up,
it's vacation time."
You know what I do with them?
No ma'am.
I put them in the hole.
You think your worst memory is bad?
You think that's torture?
We can make it worse.
One more thing.
I've been reviewing your hell.
You seem like a nice young man.
Sweet. Kind. Loyal.
Thank you.
That kind of behavior
will not be tolerated here.
Do you understand?
Yesh ma'am.
This is Hell:
act accordingly.
We will be watching.
Hey Allie.
How you doing?
You got so big, huh?
Those bracelets are pretty.
You make them?
I hope my father kills you.
Um...
Mark Harelik. Six-two.
Gunth Management.
When you're ready.
Okay.
Um...
Let me just ask... Uh, is... is there...
Who am I talking to in this scene?
'Cause it's not... it's not
quite clear from the script.
Could be the heavenly host
or different angels
calling up from Earth.
Your goal is to reassure
the faithful, et cetera.
Okay. alright. Alright. Got it.
Hahhhhhh.
Okay.
Who are you?
I am the alpha and the omega...
Could I start one more time, please?
That... I didn't...
Sure. Go ahead.
I am the alpha and the omega,
and the bright morning star.
I am the Lord, your God.
My children, why have you called me?
That was great.
Can we move on to the other scenes?
Let's try the Empathy
With Sufferers scene.
Empathy With Sufferers. Right.
The Lord your God has
heard your lamentations,
your wailing...
Rest well, my child.
Your suffering is my suffering.
I shall soothe your
pain and dry your tears.
Your suffering is my suffering.
That just kills me.
He's pretty good.
Hold on.
your, uh, last scene?
Scary Prophecy.
Whenever you're ready.
Hear me!
Hear me and tremble and know
the signs of the world to come!
Look for the changes,
for things impossible.
The dying land, the falling sky,
the beasts of the field
thrown into confusion.
Look for the days to shorten,
look for the darkness to grow
and look for the
wicked to know my wrath!
Excellent, thank you.
I pushed that last
part. Don't you think?
I mean, i-it's not as scary
if He's trying to be scary.
You know... You know what I'm saying?
I agree with that.
There's no out-date.
Yes. Yes.
And you're okay with that?
Well, I...
Gosh, I've been thinking about
this for a... a long time.
Obviously, it's a...
It's a big commitment.
But, uh
it's the role of a lifetime.
In that case, congratulations.
You've got the part.
Yes!
- Aah!
- Ooh. Holy shite!
They killed him!
They had to.
Only way to get him to Heaven.
Alright, so...
God's an expert crier
and He yells a lot.
Well, we kinda knew that already.
Weird though, right?
Well, if it isn't weird then
they changed the definition
while I wasn't bloody looking.
No, no.
We're here.
Fake God was from here.
And other people
are looking for God here?
- Yeah.
- That's weird.
Right. I vote we call it a day.
Let's ring Tulip, see what she's up to.
I feel like I'm missing something...
Something really obvious.
I'm sure you are.
Looking for a gun, huh?
In the ol' gun safe maybe?
Yeah... we changed
the combo a month ago.
Hey, Marte.
Let me go.
No.
Let me go, Viktor, or I swear to God,
I will blow your brains out.
Yeah?
So do it.
Come on. Now's your chance. Do it.
Alright, alright. That's enough.
Want me to have a crack at her, boss?
No thank you, Pat.
Leave her to me.
Show me your saggies.
- Mnh-mnh.
- Come on... show me...
just... just one time.
Hey!
Speak English. English!
What is wrong with you?
Hello.
How was your chat with
Superintendent Mannering?
Fine.
Fine, was it? Ja. Good.
What is the use of a puzzle book
if all the answers are filled in?
But I suppose that is exactly
their point, then, isn't it?
"No rest for the wicked."
You don't seem that bad.
Anymore.
At least to me.
I mean...
are you?
Am I what, Eugene?
Bad?
Hey, look!
It's New Guy! And he
brought his anal face!
What you guys doin'?
Just talkin', catchin' up?
Tyler.
What? I like talking.
He can talk to me too.
Say something, like, um, um...
spaghetti.
Er, no, no, no, no. No, Mississippi!
S... Say Mississippi.
Come on ass face, say Mississippi.
Say it.
Stop!
Yeah?
Or what?
Uh...
Just... don't.
What happened to you, Hitler?
You used to be... Hitler.
I mean, what happened to the
Blitzkrieg and the Sieg Heils?!
Remember Sieg Heil? Sieg Heil!
Nein.
Please, Tyler. Viol...
Down goes Hitler!
Down goes Hitler!
Come on,
who else wants a piece
of some fascist ass?!
Hey.
Hey! Wait!
Sieg Heil!
a long time.
Obviously, it's a...
It's a big commitment.
Alright, Jess, can we just...
Jess.
In that case, congratulations.
You've got the part.
Yes!
There. See?!
Corner of the screen, you
can just make out a hand.
- Jess...
- If I could just magnify that,
I could find out whose hand it is.
Jesse.
Jess. Jess!
What?
What is it?
I-I think Tulip's in
trouble. I-I don't know.
What?
Bollocks. I wasn't
supposed to say, alright?
- Supposed to say what?
- I've been hinting all day long,
and you just... you
haven't been listening.
You haven't been picking up on it.
Okay, well, I'm picking up on it now.
What are you talking about?
Sh-Sh-She told me... She
told me she could handle it
and under no circumstances
am I to tell you, so I...
Where is she?
Padre, I want to tell you, but
she made me promise that I...
Where is she?!
My problem is, I went
crazy in high school,
tried everything I
could get my hands on.
Gel, mousse, powder.
I think my follicles...
They just gave up.
That's a real thing.
Follicles... they... They give up.
- Can I help you?
- This Viktor Kruglov's place?
This is private property, pal. Get lost.
Open the gate.
Sit down.
Don't move.
Where's Tulip?
I don't know.
Nobody move.
It happens sometimes. Heart gives out.
It's an art, not a science.
You're awake. Good.
I don't know what you
did to the guys out there.
But I am definitely curious.
Choices.
Hardest part of the job.
Alright, let's get to
the bottom of things...
Stop!
Stop!
Where is she?
Bedroom.
- Jesse.
- Who the hell... Ugh!
Jesse!
It's okay.
Jesse don't!
Jesse!
Jesse, you can't kill him.
He's my husband.
Gun.
Ah, you found us. Come in, Padre.
How you doing? You alright?
Yeah.
This your friend's place?
Yeah. Denis.
Wait 'til you meet him. He's hysterical.
You're gonna love
him. Yeah. There he is.
How you doing, Denis? Morning, man.
Yeah.
He's just tired, that's
all. Don't worry about that.
So? Looking for God? How'd it go?
It's hard to say.
But for a first night?
Was definitely interesting.
I met this woman.
No, not like that.
She was in trouble, so I helped her.
Oh, that's great. Helping's nice.
Never mind. Where's Tulip?
Tulip?
She still sleeping?
No, no, no. She went out.
Out?
- Yeah.
- Where?
- I dunno.
- When?
When what?
Did she go out?
Last night.
So she went out in
the middle of the night
and didn't say where or
why or when she'll be back?
Yeah. Maybe you should call,
just check in, make sure she's alright.
It's weird, isn't it?
For Tulip?
It's pretty typical.
I'm gonna take a nap.
Oh, uh, bedroom's down the hall there.
Yeah.
Sleep tight.
_
Keep at it.
This might be one of
those all day things.
So.
What are we gonna do with you?
Hello?
Hello.
Who's there?
Projector malfunction.
Please stay put.
Projector malfunction.
Please stay put.
Projector malfunction.
- What's going on?
- Please stay put.
- The whole block's down?
Most unusual.
Routine maintenance, I guess...
Better get back to our hells.
They'll be back soon.
Yeah, run along granny goody two shoes.
I just don't want to get in trouble.
Hey, idiot!
You're in Hell!
You're already in trouble!
Hey!
Leave her alone.
Hol-eee shit!
Oh my frickin' Jeeezus,
check out New Guy!
Oh my god, dude!
Alright, dude, I gotta
ask you a question
and you gotta be honest:
has anyone ever told you
that your face is disgusting?
It's like your face is
one big giant sphincter.
I'm gonna put my meat in your mouth
and have oral and anal at the same time!
Alright, Tyler.
That is enough.
What? Nah, we're just having some fun.
Yeah.
Well, now the fun is over.
What if it isn't over, Mein Fuhrer?
What if the fun's just beginning?
What are we gonna do about that then?
Huh?
Go! Back to your hells!
Quick!
Once the machine starts, the doors lock.
You can come in my hell if you want.
Suit yourself.
But they will put you in the hole.
That was brave.
Sticking up for the gypsy.
You're Hitler.
Yes.
You started World War Two.
I did, yes.
You killed like millions of people.
I did terrible things.
Here we go again.
_
Two of your best plum cakes please.
E-Extra flaky crust! Danke!
- Guten tag...
- Oh, Elsa. There you are!
I just ordered plum cakes.
Oh, yum.
I-I dropped by your house yesterday.
Oh, did you?
I, uh, had to help my
mother at the store.
Ah.
Excuse me...
Yes, of course.
My fault.
- Guten tag.
- Guten tag.
I'm sorry. You were saying you were...
You were helping your mother...?
Adolf! See that man, with the hat?
That's Herman Hoehne, the
gallery owner I told you about.
We are old friends.
You must show him your drawings.
Ach.
They're not ready.
That is what you always say.
You have such talent, you must...
Communists.
They're all vermin.
They should be exiled.
Mm. Yes, I suppose so.
You disagree?
The Communists are scum,
infiltrating our society.
Yes. No. Of course.
You are right, yes.
"Vermin," that is exactly right.
Well, they will get
what's coming to them.
- Would you like tea?
- I'm fine.
Thank you.
Go. Show him your work.
Again?
That was your worst memory?
Your door will be open.
Go back to your cell
now... While you still can.
What is your name by the way?
Eugene Root.
Welcome to hell, Eugene.
I'm sorry.
Eh.
Here.
No more crying? Okay?
'Cause crying isn't gonna fix this.
I brought you in.
I trusted you,
made you a part of my family.
And in return you made a fool out of me.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to say...
Well, you better think of something
'cause "sorry" isn't
gonna fix this either.
Excuse me, boss.
He's conscious again.
Not sure how long we'll have him.
Walk around, clear your head,
and when I ask you again,
give me a better answer.
Hey Tulip.
Hey Pat.
_
You've forgotten us, haven't you?
You moved on. Your life continued.
But others weren't so lucky.
The waters went down, but the pain rose,
the grief continued...
I lost my house, my clothes, everything.
Asked the Federal Government for help...
but you know how that goes.
What is this?
Infomercial.
No Tulip?
What, she... She hasn't called you?
Why would I ask if
she's here if she called?
Yeah. No.
Uh... right.
It... It'd just be weird.
Uh, Den? Denis?
Padre. Padre, Denis.
Thank you for letting us stay.
It's... It's a beautiful place.
Everything okay?
Yeah. It's just... That's just French.
Right.
Gonna grab something to
eat and then we'll go.
Wh-What? Wait... Where we going?
Jazz clubs.
We still got 137 more to see.
Yeah, but what... What about Tulip?
What about her?
Are you... are you not
wondering where she is?
I know exactly where she is.
You do?
We're in a fight.
So she's out somewhere being mad at me.
Being mad at you?
Yeah. Shopping, shoplifting.
Cheating at cards.
Calling off marriages.
Yeah, but, man, she...
She never said anything
like that to me, though.
She just got up and left
without saying a word.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Right.
'Cause we're in a fight.
But I...
Anyway, this woman last night?
She told me about some
secret organization
with designs on world domination.
- You know about that?
- Yeah.
Sure, which one? Is it Z.O.G.?
Rosicrucians, Reptilians?
Secret society of alien lizards.
They impersonate celebrities in
an attempt to take over the planet
through popular culture.
- Is that it?
- No.
Right.
The one I was told about, the
guys were wearing white suits.
Yeah?
They drive white vans.
Maybe some sort of
religious organization?
White suits.
I don't know about that, Padre.
It sounds pretty fake to me.
Hmm.
White vans.
In position.
We're living under a bridge,
and I work three jobs just
to keep a tarp over our heads.
I used to go to
prostitutes. Now, I am one.
Oh, I thought things couldn't get worse
than a Category Five hurricane...
but for me, Katrina was the beginning...
Oh, my... Oh my god. J-J-Jesse! Jess!
What is it?
Jesse, come and have a look!
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick!
It's bloody God from your church.
Look. See?
lost my insurance
and now I'm mentally ill.
- It's the guy from the church.
- But no matter the tragedy,
I still believe that people are good,
and that's what helps me sleep at night.
How do you sleep at night?
Hi, I'm Frankie Muniz.
I'm not homeless, and neither are they.
We're all actors.
Frankie Muniz. Huge talent.
So when it comes time to give...
what do we say?
Don't forget!
Fake God.
He's an actor.
Fake God is a local actor.
Huh?
It's only this block
that's on the fritz, right?
That's correct.
Bulb's almost brand-new,
so that can't be it.
It has to be electrical.
Could be mechanical. Could be the fan.
Could be a lot of things.
Did you leave the room right now?
Uh, no.
This going to take a while?
Maybe a full reset.
Come with me.
This actor could answer
lots of questions.
Like what?
Like, why'd they hire him?
Does he look like God?
Does he act like God?
Maybe God hired him.
Alright.
- Hello?
- Hi.
We looked online. Y-You
represent an actor here?
A "Mark Hair-lik"? "Ha-relic"?
From the Katrina commercials?
Harelik. Do you have an appointment?
Nope.
alright. Coming.
Hey guys!
How you been?
Hey, Jimmy, you still
playing with this guy?
He will rob you blind...
Mmm. Something smells good.
Pete, Nick... please.
I know I messed up big-time...
We need more salt.
There's still no word from Tulip?
That's weird, isn't it?
Hm.
You're not worried.
That's good.
Why would I be worried?
Well, if I had a girl like Tulip
I'd be worried day and night, man.
If you had a girl like Tulip
you'd be wasting your time.
If there's one thing
Tulip O'Hare can do,
it's look after herself.
- Hey, guys. Teddy Gunth.
- Yep.
Sorry about the wait.
It's pilot season so crazy busy,
but how can I be of help to you?
You represent a Mark Harelik?
I do. Huge talent.
Tell me... what exactly
are you looking for?
We're looking for Mark Harelik.
We have a few questions for him.
Right, right. Okay, so,
I'm hearing tall... Jewish...
right, maybe kinda soulful.
You guys definitely
came to the right place.
Um, let me ask you something.
Does it have to be European white
or can it be maybe Hispanic?
And the only reason
why I ask this, right,
is because I just signed
this Cuban guy. D... So good.
No, no, just tell us where he is.
See, it doesn't really
work that way, boss.
You want access to a
Teddy Gunth client...
gotta go through Teddy Gunth.
Now what is this project?
It's "Game of Thrones."
And are we talking guest
star or something larger?
It's reoccurring.
But there's a chance he'll
get up to series regular
if he's good-like.
You know what I mean?
I want premium cable rate.
- $15,000 per episode.
- Done.
And per diem, plus round
trip airfare, first class.
Business.
Nice try. This is HBO.
No one's made of money, Gunth, alright?
Even Dinklage flies business.
Christ.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Done.
- Excellente, Gunth.
Alright. Now, we need to arrange
a costume fitting immediately.
Where the hell is he?
Who? Harelik?
- Mm-hmm.
- No idea.
What on earth do you mean, Gunth?
Hold on. Hold on. Let me
show you this Cuban guy...
We don't want the Cuban guy, Gunth!
- I get that...
- We don't want him.
We want Harelik, or there's
no deal here, alright?
I don't know where he is.
Oh, for God's sake. He's
ridiculous, this man.
I got him this gig.
Moment he got it, never
heard from him again.
The Katrina commercial?
No. No, no, no. That
was over a year ago.
This was, uh... This was some
out of town understudy thing
for some larger than life
type character, like, um...
Like a mob boss or an
emperor or something. Or God.
Yeah, that was it. It was God.
And who hired him? Who was behind this?
Who knows? Voices on a phone, right?
- Ah.
- Great.
I'll tell you this much, though...
Snooty freakin' bastards.
'Cause I remember, I told 'em
to send me his audition tape
'cause I wanted it for,
like, his actor reel, right?
They told me to pound sand.
Yeah.
Teddy Gunth!
So I told them, "You
listen to me right now.
You send me his goddamn
audition tape right now,
or I'm gonna have Screen
Actors Guild on you so fast,
your shoes are gonna curl."
And believe me, that
got their attention.
They sent it to you, this tape?
- Yeah.
- What's on it?
Are you crazy? I didn't watch it.
Have you ever seen an actor's
audition? Nobody watches them.
This is a waste of time. It's
ridiculous. It's making me furious.
HBO's gonna hear about this, Gunth!
- I tell you what...
- This tape?
Do you have a copy?
What do you mean he's gone?
How could that happen?
Who let him out?
Well someone better find him
or we'll have to answer to you know who.
Jesus.
You're new, so here's
a little background.
When this place was initially
conceived and constructed,
no one had any idea the kind
of numbers we'd be getting.
Obviously we have
issues of overcrowding,
we're underfunded,
and sometimes the machine breaks down.
We'll have you back to
your hell soon enough.
Until then, I'm gonna put you
in holding with the others.
And this is what you need to consider...
Lots of first timers,
they get very excited
when their hells break down.
"Oh, let's take a
break, put our feet up,
it's vacation time."
You know what I do with them?
No ma'am.
I put them in the hole.
You think your worst memory is bad?
You think that's torture?
We can make it worse.
One more thing.
I've been reviewing your hell.
You seem like a nice young man.
Sweet. Kind. Loyal.
Thank you.
That kind of behavior
will not be tolerated here.
Do you understand?
Yesh ma'am.
This is Hell:
act accordingly.
We will be watching.
Hey Allie.
How you doing?
You got so big, huh?
Those bracelets are pretty.
You make them?
I hope my father kills you.
Um...
Mark Harelik. Six-two.
Gunth Management.
When you're ready.
Okay.
Um...
Let me just ask... Uh, is... is there...
Who am I talking to in this scene?
'Cause it's not... it's not
quite clear from the script.
Could be the heavenly host
or different angels
calling up from Earth.
Your goal is to reassure
the faithful, et cetera.
Okay. alright. Alright. Got it.
Hahhhhhh.
Okay.
Who are you?
I am the alpha and the omega...
Could I start one more time, please?
That... I didn't...
Sure. Go ahead.
I am the alpha and the omega,
and the bright morning star.
I am the Lord, your God.
My children, why have you called me?
That was great.
Can we move on to the other scenes?
Let's try the Empathy
With Sufferers scene.
Empathy With Sufferers. Right.
The Lord your God has
heard your lamentations,
your wailing...
Rest well, my child.
Your suffering is my suffering.
I shall soothe your
pain and dry your tears.
Your suffering is my suffering.
That just kills me.
He's pretty good.
Hold on.
your, uh, last scene?
Scary Prophecy.
Whenever you're ready.
Hear me!
Hear me and tremble and know
the signs of the world to come!
Look for the changes,
for things impossible.
The dying land, the falling sky,
the beasts of the field
thrown into confusion.
Look for the days to shorten,
look for the darkness to grow
and look for the
wicked to know my wrath!
Excellent, thank you.
I pushed that last
part. Don't you think?
I mean, i-it's not as scary
if He's trying to be scary.
You know... You know what I'm saying?
I agree with that.
There's no out-date.
Yes. Yes.
And you're okay with that?
Well, I...
Gosh, I've been thinking about
this for a... a long time.
Obviously, it's a...
It's a big commitment.
But, uh
it's the role of a lifetime.
In that case, congratulations.
You've got the part.
Yes!
- Aah!
- Ooh. Holy shite!
They killed him!
They had to.
Only way to get him to Heaven.
Alright, so...
God's an expert crier
and He yells a lot.
Well, we kinda knew that already.
Weird though, right?
Well, if it isn't weird then
they changed the definition
while I wasn't bloody looking.
No, no.
We're here.
Fake God was from here.
And other people
are looking for God here?
- Yeah.
- That's weird.
Right. I vote we call it a day.
Let's ring Tulip, see what she's up to.
I feel like I'm missing something...
Something really obvious.
I'm sure you are.
Looking for a gun, huh?
In the ol' gun safe maybe?
Yeah... we changed
the combo a month ago.
Hey, Marte.
Let me go.
No.
Let me go, Viktor, or I swear to God,
I will blow your brains out.
Yeah?
So do it.
Come on. Now's your chance. Do it.
Alright, alright. That's enough.
Want me to have a crack at her, boss?
No thank you, Pat.
Leave her to me.
Show me your saggies.
- Mnh-mnh.
- Come on... show me...
just... just one time.
Hey!
Speak English. English!
What is wrong with you?
Hello.
How was your chat with
Superintendent Mannering?
Fine.
Fine, was it? Ja. Good.
What is the use of a puzzle book
if all the answers are filled in?
But I suppose that is exactly
their point, then, isn't it?
"No rest for the wicked."
You don't seem that bad.
Anymore.
At least to me.
I mean...
are you?
Am I what, Eugene?
Bad?
Hey, look!
It's New Guy! And he
brought his anal face!
What you guys doin'?
Just talkin', catchin' up?
Tyler.
What? I like talking.
He can talk to me too.
Say something, like, um, um...
spaghetti.
Er, no, no, no, no. No, Mississippi!
S... Say Mississippi.
Come on ass face, say Mississippi.
Say it.
Stop!
Yeah?
Or what?
Uh...
Just... don't.
What happened to you, Hitler?
You used to be... Hitler.
I mean, what happened to the
Blitzkrieg and the Sieg Heils?!
Remember Sieg Heil? Sieg Heil!
Nein.
Please, Tyler. Viol...
Down goes Hitler!
Down goes Hitler!
Come on,
who else wants a piece
of some fascist ass?!
Hey.
Hey! Wait!
Sieg Heil!
a long time.
Obviously, it's a...
It's a big commitment.
Alright, Jess, can we just...
Jess.
In that case, congratulations.
You've got the part.
Yes!
There. See?!
Corner of the screen, you
can just make out a hand.
- Jess...
- If I could just magnify that,
I could find out whose hand it is.
Jesse.
Jess. Jess!
What?
What is it?
I-I think Tulip's in
trouble. I-I don't know.
What?
Bollocks. I wasn't
supposed to say, alright?
- Supposed to say what?
- I've been hinting all day long,
and you just... you
haven't been listening.
You haven't been picking up on it.
Okay, well, I'm picking up on it now.
What are you talking about?
Sh-Sh-She told me... She
told me she could handle it
and under no circumstances
am I to tell you, so I...
Where is she?
Padre, I want to tell you, but
she made me promise that I...
Where is she?!
My problem is, I went
crazy in high school,
tried everything I
could get my hands on.
Gel, mousse, powder.
I think my follicles...
They just gave up.
That's a real thing.
Follicles... they... They give up.
- Can I help you?
- This Viktor Kruglov's place?
This is private property, pal. Get lost.
Open the gate.
Sit down.
Don't move.
Where's Tulip?
I don't know.
Nobody move.
It happens sometimes. Heart gives out.
It's an art, not a science.
You're awake. Good.
I don't know what you
did to the guys out there.
But I am definitely curious.
Choices.
Hardest part of the job.
Alright, let's get to
the bottom of things...
Stop!
Stop!
Where is she?
Bedroom.
- Jesse.
- Who the hell... Ugh!
Jesse!
It's okay.
Jesse don't!
Jesse!
Jesse, you can't kill him.
He's my husband.